Warnings:
This is a story of fictional, graphic, male on male, sex. If it is illegal to view sexual pornography in wherever you are, please do not continue. This story is all about sex with minors of ages' 12-17 and adults. Any similarities to any person, real or fictitious, is just pure coincidence.
Chapter 2
Mark's POV
Love. Love. Love. It still feels weirdly to me. I still can't say it to Matt even though I know I feel that way. Love. Love. Love. It just doesn't feel right. Am I losing my ability to love?
It was about two in the morning when I woke up from a nightmare. My body was dripping with sweat from the intensity of the dream. Matt was still next to me and silently snoring. I got up and put on some boxers. My throat was dry and constricted. Parts of that dream still plague my mind. I need to get a drink. Making sure that Matt wouldn't be found, I locked the door behind me and put the key to my room in my pocket. I descended my way to the kitchen. Normally I don't lock the door at this time of night because my parents never even enter my room but tonight I decided not to take the chance.
I was only in my boxers and the cold air struck my still wet body. Was that dream a premonition? It was so vivid. Do I want it to be a premonition and want it to happen? Yes, I do. I took a pot from the cabinet and a carton of milk from the fridge to make me a cup of warm milk.
I sat down on the table pondering about that nightmare while the pot came to a boil. I quickly grabbed a cup and poured myself a serving of warm milk. This usually gets me to sleep right away so I just stared at it. I watched the milk inside of the cup make waves. For the first time I noticed that I was trembling.
"Love," I whispered. "Love. Love. Love. Love." It still didn't feel right. Have I lost my ability to love?
Matt. I need Matt. Quickly rushing back to the room, I unlocked the door, and jumped onto the bed. Trying to wake Matt up, I said, "Matt! Matt! Wake up!"
"Wha--? What is it? What's wrong," he asked with concern?
"Matt, I love you."
His eyes bugged out. Totally unprepared for what I had just said, he just stared at me. "What?" he said softly. "Oh, sorry. I mean, WHAT?!"
"I love you. I've only been able to say it to you when your sleeping after we have sex but ever since that first time, I've learned that I love you."
He got up and put on his boxers. Pacing across the room he started babbling, "You can't be . . . The only reason I ever got into this kind of sex was to avoid . . . Are you sure? Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god." That was always his way of making anything he doesn't want to believe try to be false, it never works.
"Matt, please say anything but that!"
Putting on the rest of his clothing and grabbing a shirt from my closet to use, he said, "I'm going for a walk."
"I'll go with you," I said standing up.
"No. I'm storming off and it doesn't really work if you follow me." With that he left me.
[Outside in the cold night, Matt walks around aimlessly. Street lights are all around him, protecting him from the darkness. ]
Matt's POV
The nerve that Mark had! How can he say that he loves me? How?! It's just not right. Love isn't something you just go about saying. We've just started to sleep with each other a few weeks ago. How can he feel that way for me? Is it even possible that men can love one another that way? I know the sex is great between two males but a man loving a man is not what I've seen or heard before. I can't love a man, can I? So, yeah, I do have intense feelings for Mark but nothing like love. I like waking up in his arms. I like being with him. But that doesn't mean that I'm in love with him.
I better get back before Mark does something stupid.
That's the problem with Mark. He's too emotional. He acts too much on emotion and never just into the pleasure. Or am I the one that's being stupid?
[Back in Mark's house, Mark reflects on how an idiot he is. He stays in the livingroom and waits for Matt.]
Mark's POV
Why did I have to do that? Did I have to open my big mouth? Jeez, now I broke up something that I've always wanted.
There was a soft knock coming from outside. It was Matt.
Standing up, I went over to greet him by touching his arm but I rethought it. "Um . . ."
"Deafening silence. Another thing I was trying to get rid of," he said but I didn't know if it was true or if he was kidding around. "Look, man. Why did you have to do that?"
Very hurt from that statement, I got a little worked up, "Excuse me if I had the balls to actually say what I feel."
"Don't be like that. You know that I like you. It's just, it wasn't right for you to say that you love me. You know how I feel about guys liking guys. Remember what happened when you first came onto me," he asked?
"Yeah, I remember but you still went along with it, didn't you? You know what?" I walked up the stairs and looked down on him, "Forget it. Never mind what I said. I take it back. Love is something that is shared. It's not just one way. You're afraid of it. You're afraid of letting love in. Maybe you don't want to but you do. Aristocracy isn't something that I thought was good before but now I see its purpose. It was to keep me away from you." Walking up three more steps, I said, "You're beneath me now."
This time it was Matt's turn to be hurt. Looking down, he turned and left, in the middle of the night.
Up in my room, I was silently sobbing into my pillow until morning. It was unbearably painful when he implied that he didn't love me. I may be questioning if I can love but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when people say that they didn't love me. Wait a minute. It hurt when he implied that he didn't love me! I do have emotions. It's just that they were clouded in my love for Matt. I do have that ability. But that doesn't change what Matt said. That doesn't change how he feels.
It was early morning, March 20, 2002, that Matt and I are officially broken up. Oh, the irony. I break up with my girlfriend to be with the guy I want to be with and a day later he breaks up with me. How spiteful Fate is to me.
Another day of school started and I was in nowhere near in the right shape to go. Looking in the mirror, I was aghast from what I saw. My eyes were puffy from crying and bags were under my eyes. It was a good thing school didn't start until 8:30 and it's only six.
I went over to the medicine closet in the bathroom and pulled out the hemorrhoid cream. Okay, don't think I'm weird but I found out that it's a good way to get rid of bags under your eyes. The puffiness would soon disappear with time.
Sometime had passed and my sister left for school as did my parents to their jobs. It happened like this every day. They leave me to myself for about twenty minutes before I have to get to school. With the use of my blades it takes me only about ten minutes to get there so if I leave at about 8:10, then I have ten minutes to hang with friends. It's still only about 7:45 so that gives me time to check my e-mails.
As I logged on, I found that I had a few new messages. Some was just spam but others were from friends. The first one was from my friend Jeremy. Jeremy was a guy I knew from middle school but never really hung out with until my freshman year. The e-mail consisted of the same thing it does once a week, `Can I borrow your homework?' Smiling from the familiarness, I was happy that I still have friends.
Jeremy is one of my best friends. If I ever told him that I was gay, he'd probably accept it quickly. I'm not that attracted to him except for his friendship. He's a person you can count on to be by your side if you ever need help.
The other e-mail was from my teachers. Mr. Price is my Creative Writing teacher. The e-mail from him just reminded me of the term paper that was due in three weeks. The topic was a story that conveyed a secret that you wouldn't tell anyone. Of course all the papers were confidential and anyone who knows Mr. Price knows that he wouldn't do anything he says he wouldn't do.
After answering both letters, it was time for me to go. I got ready way before 7:45 so it wasn't really a problem for me to just go.
Before I left, I made sure to try and eat something but I couldn't bear to. Any thought of food my stomach curl. Instead I just left for school.
Like I had predicted, I got there with ten minutes to spare. I met up with Jeremy and gave him the math homework that he needed and specifically told him to put it back in my locker before fourth period. He had Mrs. Jones for first period and I had her for fourth so it wasn't really a problem.
I left him alone to copy the work and went in search of my other friends. Unfortunately, I met up with the boarders and saw that Matt was in the center like usual. It was really hard to see him but I had to move one, literally.
Over at the vending machines, I met up with Chad and Chloe. Chad and Chloe are twins so when you find one, you can be sure that you'll find the other. All right, back when I was straight, the days I like to call the `dark age', I used to have a thing for Chloe but now I find myself eyeing Chad.
He was a hunk of a guy. With flowing blonde hair, blue eyes, six feet and four inches, and a body that girls (and boys) would die to be with, I admit it, I want to sleep with him. He's a junior. Right now it's okay for me to have these thoughts since I'm no longer with Matt but I can't stare for very much longer or else I'd pop a boner.
Chloe is about the same way but a chick.
Walking over to them, I said, "How's it going guys?"
"Could you quit it with the `guy' shit? You know very well that I'm not a guy," Chloe snapped. She left in a huff.
"Jeez, what's up her ass," I asked Chad.
Looking at me with those wonderful blue eyes, he started to walk and I followed him. As every morning, we went over to `The Tree' as we call it, and hanged. I think the tree was a Weeping Willow but I'm not very sure. Hard stone benches encircled the tree and made it a very good place to just chill. In addition, the place is very secluded so the only person that goes there knows where either it is or they stumble into it. "As it seems, Jason's afraid of Chloe. With very good reason, I might add," he explained as he dropped his bag down unto one of the benches. He laid down on the bench with his feet flat and knees bent. I took the same position but faced the other way so we were back to back.
"Why should he?"
"Oh, the same reason that most guys won't ask her out, she could beat them up."
I should have known. Chloe is our tomboy. She's our skater chick, too. The problem with her is that she's too rough and tough. "I see, she got turned down, didn't she?"
"Exactly." Sitting down next to me but far enough so that people wouldn't think that there was something other than friendship going on between us. I wish there was something other than friendship, more likely sex than an actual relationship.
Reaching down to my ankle, I pulled out a dagger. I know, I shouldn't bring a knife to school but it's not like I'm gonna stab someone with it. Going over to the tree, I started to finish the sentence that was started by the other people in our class yesterday. What was written was, Preps can lick our scrotum.' I ended it by adding, Go skaters!" Putting it back to the sheath in my shoe, I heard a snicker from Chad. "What," I asked?
"It's just . . . I never thought that you would be into that hierarchy that these people have."
"I didn't think so either but I've turned over a new leaf. Now I understand why they have it and I know that it doesn't sound right but to me it does."
"What do you mean?"
"It's to keep people from other groups to date people from a different group."
Chad sighed, "Are you fucking with me? You're the one that told Jeremy that it was all right for him to date that Becca chick a few months ago."
"And look what happened. They broke up in less than three months. You just proved my point."
"That doesn't mean that you should believe in that." His face changed all of the sudden. "Wait a minute. Who broke your heart?" He stood up, walked over to me, and sat down in front of me.
Should I tell him? Chad's been my friend for more than eight years. We've known each other since the third grade. He's trusted me with secrets that he's only told me. Should I tell him? I think I'm gonna regret this.
"There was . . . a guy."
"You're shitting me right? Is that why you broke up with Jean?" He asked with much curiosity.
"You don't seem too surprised about this."
"I shouldn't be. I'm your friend, right? Just because that you're gay it doesn't mean that I'm gonna stop being your friend. Now, answer my questions: Is that why you broke up with Jean?' and Who was the guy?'"
"Yes, it is but I don't want to tell you who it was."
Raising his eyebrows at me, he asked, "Do I look like a gossip queen to you?
I'm not gonna say shit to anyone."
Laughing, I answered, "Fine, if you want to know, it was Matt Price."
Again, Chad didn't seem to be too shocked. He pulled out a blade of grass and twirled it in his finger, "You mean the boarder? But he's such a dick."
"Yeah, I know, I've tried it and tasted it."
"Aww, man. That was an over-share."
"Sorry, but I know what you meant and that's the reason I broke it off."
The school bell rang and we had to stop our conversation and go to class. During first period, we have the same teacher so it was possible to continue the conversation but we shouldn't be so daring. In first period we had Mr. Robert, the French teacher. I like him. He lets me get away with anything so it wasn't really difficult to talk to Chad but I won't.
Chad was a brain so it wasn't really shocking when he answered most of Mr. Robert's questions. I, on the other hand, just stared out the window and contemplated on Chad's reaction. I'm lucky to have friends that care about me so much.
What if I came out to my friends? Would they act as mature as Chad? Or would they act like Matt? Hmm, a conundrum indeed.
First period was over so it was now time for gym. Chad and I departed and said that we'll meet by The Tree later on. Okay, you may be thinking, `Oh, yeah, gym. The locker rooms are so hot.' NOT! The locker room was never much of a turn on for me. I just like getting in and out in the quickest time so we can just get on with the school day.
Gym was like everyday's routine. We did our stretches, ran for about five minutes, then we did what we wanted, wither volleyball, basketball, or just plain screwing around. As for me, I was satisfied with just walking around and talking with Samantha.
Sam is this really cool chick that I really like for her attitude. She's the one that will get in your face and cuss you out if you ever even think of crossing her path. I've got into a fight with her a few years ago that just was started because I called her a chick. She kicked my ass.
An hour and 45 minutes later, it was lunch time. Making my way through the wandering sheep and to The Tree, I met with Chloe in a group of friends along the way. She was across the hall so I had to wait for her to go to me. The people that she was with are not exactly in my crowd. Calling out to her, I tried to make up, "Hey, Chloe!"
"Wassup," she asked? From the tone of her voice, she still didn't want to make up with me.
"Look, don't be like that. Come on, I didn't mean anything when I called you a guy. If anything, you're acting so much like a girl right now."
Raising an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
"It's just that your being so touchy," I joked.
Laughing, Chloe hugged me and kissed my cheek, "Thank you but that's not what Jason is thinking. Anyway, I have to go. Don't worry. Everything is cool between us." She turned and walked toward the direction of the library. Homework! Ugh, I almost forgot to take out the math homework.
After a quick stop at my locker, I rushed to The Tree. I don't really know why I'm rushing. Ugh! What am I doing? First, I break up with Jean. Then I break up with Matt. Now I'm trying to start something with Chad, all in two days.
Chad was in the same position that he was in before we left for class, with him laying down on the stone bench, feet flat with bent knees. No one was around so it was fine for me to get close to my stud, well, soon-to-be-stud.
He seemed so peaceful just laying down there and watching the sky. Let's break that peace now, shall we? With a rushed pace, I ran over to him, jumped, and straddled his pelvic region, making him grunt. "Wassup?"
Before I could do anything, Chad grabbed my hands and soon had me between his now spread legs, on my back, and was sitting up. He was straddling me the same way I did with him. "I would have just settled with a `hello'." Letting go, he knew I was no where near strong enough to take him down. Scooting out from under him, I stood up and sat down a few feet away from him. "Mark, I may be okay with you being gay but that doesn't mean that I'm gay, too. Life's not like that."
Dammit! I knew it was too good to be true. Someone that cute couldn't be gay. Women flock all over him asking him to dances and dates so it shouldn't have surprised me when he said this. As I said, `Dammit'!
"Tell me what happened with you and Matt. Why did you break it off?"
I told him everything, starting from when I had the dream all the way from when I told him that he was beneath me.
"Wow. What was the dream about?"
"It was about Brian."
Brian was an old friend who moved away my freshman year. We've been classmates in our business class but not actually friends until the next semester in French class. He's about 5 feet and nine inches tall, about 165 lbs., built like a swimmer (since he was a surfer), with green eyes, dirty blonde hair, a killer smile, with rugged good looks. I miss him so much but I haven't shown it in over a year. I know that I love him, I'm not saying that I'm IN love with him but I do love him dearly.
He moved away to Chapel Hill at the end of the school year so I'm hoping to meet up with him if I ever get into UNC Chapel Hill. I'm quite sure he'll get in so, I really hope that we get put in the same dorm.
"Whoa, you're kidding me right? I know that you were hurt when he moved but I didn't know that it was enough to break up a relationship."
"It wasn't only about Brian. We almost had sex."
"And," he asked with much annoyance?
"And . . . I never cheated on Matt."
To gain more effect he slammed his hand on the bench and sighed, "Bingo!"
"I never needed to tell Matt that I loved him because I wasn't losing my ability to love, I was just frightened from the dream not because I was totally in love with him, even though I am."
"Okay, first, I don't think that was a sentence. Second," he stood up and walked up and smacked me, "are you stupid? Dreaming about it doesn't make it reality. You should know that!"
"Well, I didn't!"
Again, he smacked me with the same force.
"Dude, if you do that one more time, I promise . . ." I threatened.
"You'll do what? Break up with me?"
That was it, in mock anger and a grin, I tackled him and sent him on the ground. Now, as I said, it was very hard to get this stud on his back but from the surprise attack, I was able to keep him down . . . for a second until he threw me on my back and was sprawling my pelvis. I was caught breathless and he was still calm.
Chad's deep blue eyes were now upon me again and I couldn't help but get hard. I'm really sure that he can feel it since he was directly on it. But because we've been friends for such a long time, it's not like we haven't seen each other's dicks hard, this was just the first time we've felt them.
"So, I guess you are gay." Standing up and after he brushed off his back, he stretched out a hand for me. Taking his hand, he pulled me up and brushed off the leaves and dirt off of me. "Look man. You've got to cool it. We can't get caught here. You can't be doing the shit you've been doing. You'll get tortured for life if you ever think of coming out in this place." Amazingly, he still held my hand.
"Yeah, I know but it still just feels great that I don't have to lie to you.
And if you're not gay, then let my hand go."
"Is that what you want? For me to let go?" he questioned with a devilish smile.
"You know we're out in the open right?"
"So? We're pretty much isolated from anyone. Total obscurity. Now, answer my questions, is that what you want? For me to let go?"
"Fuck no! I've wanted you since seventh grade, when your turned cool."
"What do you mean?"
"It's the way you talk in short, noncommital phrases."
"Could be."
"I thought you weren't gay?"
"I'm not but that doesn't mean that I don't experiment. Experimentation is the basis of my every being. It's like . . . smart."
Laughing at his comment, I brought him over to the bench and we sat down talking with our hands still intertwined. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Most definitely. It's not like we're gonna have sex."
"What?! You mean that isn't what you were gonna do?"
"Sex? God, no! I wanted you to tell me more about the dream. So, come on, spill."
Oh, man! I thought he was seriously wanted to get laid. Dammit! "On one condition, you have to give me something first."
"And what is that?" Even though he asked that question, I knew he knew what I wanted.
"Sex, what else?"
"Fine, I'll let you give me a hand job after school but other than that, I'm not compromising. Deal?"
A hand job? Sounds reasonable. Besides it gives me a chance to sneak a peek at his cock. I wonder what's his size? "Agreed. Well, where to start . . .
"It was in school. I remember it because we were in Mr. Robert's class, you know, the French Prof? Anyway, we were talking way too much so he put us in separate corners. Brian and I were making such a scene of it, acting like we just lost a part of each other.
"Some time passed and soon school was over. Mr. Robert was a tad bit still angrily at us for disrupting his class so he gave us something to do before we go home. He gave us papers to grade. You know how he's not very strict and you can always wrap him around your finger? Well, we told him that it was hot inside the classroom so he decided to take us out to the gazebo to check the papers.
"After we got that done, he sent us on our way with more homework than the other people in the class. I don't remember how we got to my house, but that's where we ended. Once we got there, I noticed that Brian was a little bit nervous.
"Again, my subconscious jumped ahead and I saw Brian in my sister's room looking through her stuff for a piece of paper. I asked him what he was looking for but he didn't tell me. Walking over to him, I checked. I was behind with my arms around him but not hugging just searching through the papers. He stared at my chest and seemed to rest his head on me. `I don't know what your looking for,' I said. Still, he didn't tell me. Looking again, shuffling through all the paper, I tried to show him everything so he can see what he wants.
"I stopped after a while and asked him with he wanted. This time he was more talkative. I think he whispered something like, `I want YOU, man.'
"Soon as he said that, I immediately tackled him on the bed and straddled him."
"You seem to be doing that a lot, can't you keep you legs closed?" He joked.
"Let me finish. Anyway, I asked him if he wanted me off. Brian shook his head. I could feel his erection on my ass. I unzipped his jeans and then I woke up in a sweat."
"And that's when you went downstairs?"
"Yeah."
"Wow. Thanks for sharing. Now, tell me what you do with Matt," he said with a grin.
"No way! I don't get fucked/sucked/suck him/fuck and tell," I confessed.
Again, with a grin, he stroked my arm. "Now we're getting somewhere. Tell me the first time you two were together."
"For a straight guy you really like to hear about gay sex, don't you?"
"I'm curious, 17, and a male. Any kind of sex I'd like to hear about."
"That's true. But that doesn't mean that I'd tell. Do you want me to reenact what we did and use you as a prop?"
"Just tell me what you did," he asked. Amazingly, he knew that I would eventually spill. I could never resist his charm.
"Just tell me what your gonna give me now?" If I spilled for one secret and got a hand job what will I get for spilling more?
"What do you want?"
Should I go for sex or stuff? Usually I can get new wheels for my blades from him but right now I'm horny. "For you to suck my dick," I said with all the seriousness that I could muster.
"That's ludicrous. One, I'm straight. Two, the only way you'll get me to suck you is if you suck me first."
"Done," I said without any speculation.
Chad's eyes widen and he seemed almost appalled, "You're full of surprises, you know that right."
"Wait, a minute. You were shocked when I agreed to give you a hand job and now you're shocked that I'm gonna blow you. You're a virgin aren't you?!"
Embarrassed that I found out his secret, he turned into a brighter shade of scarlet.
Wow. I always thought that he lost it a long time ago. Hmm, then a thought came to me. "Chad. How about we forget all about the story and the hand job and the blow job. Hypothetically, what would you say if I said that you can lose your virginity tonight?"
"Actually. I want my first to be special and with someone I love. It can't be with someone that you just picked up from the street."
"If you want it, it won't be."
"Whom do you have in mind?"
"Me."
Can you believe this boy? How dense can a person be? But he's so cute!
"Don't fuck with me. I want to lose my virgin status but I'm not gay! Get that through your thick dick! You'll never get to fuck me!"
"Oh, no! Of course I'll never fuck you."
"Good."
"You'll fuck me."
He went silent for a minute and stared, "Ok, be kind, rewind."
"Look, you told me that you want it to be special, with someone you love. Do you love me?"
"Yes, but that's no . . ."
"Then why shouldn't you? Don't you want to, or is it that repulsive to you?"
"No, not really vile but that doesn't mean that I'll engage in gay sex."
"That's just it! Don't think about it as gay sex. Don't even think about it as bi sex. Having sex is just two bodies meshing in a sticky and weird way, be it gay, bi, or straight. Put that thought away or trash it. Sex, between two people who love each other, is a melding of minds and emotions. Real sex, is in a higher state of mind than just fucking around."
"Nice speech," he retorted. "But, that is how I thought of it. Why not? Let's do it. We'll have sex, later on tonight. And you're right, I do love you."
My thoughts were distracted for a second as Chad started to touch me. At first, he stated so softly, just at my arm. Standing up, he moved behind me and started to massage my neck and shoulders. I leaned on him and just let his warm body wash over me.
Yes! I'm gonna get laid tonight! What was it he said? He wanted it special? I can do special and romantic. Reaching out and touching his hand, I patted his hands and told him, "God, that feels so good. We'll have to do it at my house. Tell your parents that you're sleeping over so you can rest afterwards. Quench your thrust for sex and then sleep. Getting laid is something we can do together if you ever want to try it again."
"My, aren't we eager? How about we try and get through this tonight and then we'll make plans for next time. By the way, what about you parents?"
"Damn, I didn't think of that. Can you sneak--no that's not gonna work." I thought about it for a while as Chad continued to touch the rest of my body, first my chest, then my thighs. "That feels nice. I thought you didn't want to do anything sexual."
"Shut up and think of a way that I'll be de-virginized. I can't wait." Chad continued searching through my body from behind me until he had no where else to go, except for my crotch. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to do that. I was right, he stayed clear away from it and just continued fondling my body.
"Okay. I have a thought. My parents aren't gonna be home until twelve and I'm really sure that they'll just go to bed. So, the only thing I'll have to do is get rid of Kathryn." Kathryn is my sister. "If we can do that. You'll come over at nine and I'll do all I can to make it a romantic night. Is that alright with you? Romance, that is."
"Yeah, it's perfect," he said rather affectionately.
Chad's POV
Mark's so good to me. Life without him is something I don't want to have. Okay, I admit, he is a very handsome man and his body is drop dead gorgeous but even if I'm attracted to him, that doesn't mean I'm gay, does it? It's too confusing. "Mark, have you ever heard the theory of nature verses nurture?"
"Um, some people think that nature determines your destiny and some people think that the exposure you get from your surroundings. I agree with the people that vote `yay' on nature. You?"
"Seeing as though I'm finding a growing attraction to you that I've never felt until now, I'm going with nurture."
Mark's eyes brightened and he seemed to glow. The helpless romantic is pleased. "Growing attraction.?"
Chuckling, I caressed his neck, "Yes, I'm growing fond of you but I might be more fond of you after the sex."
"I told you. Sex is just physical. If you put love to it, it goes beyond that and into a plane of emotion and ecstacy. So, which do you think is better: a moment of pleasure or a nighttime of ecstacy?"
"Isn't ecstacy the same thing as pleasure," I joked?
"Actually, there's a diff. One is a momentary touch, the other a long embrace. Hm," he said as he looked at his watch, "lunch is almost over and I haven't eaten anything yet. Are you hungry? I can go to the vending machines and get something right quick."
I haven't even thought of that. The feeling of emptiness in my stomach didn't submerge until he said something. "Yeah, do you want me to go with?"
"Nah, you don't have to. You want the usual right?" Rising from his seat, he walked toward the school.
"Yeah, sour cream and onion chips and a Pepsi. Thanks!" I yelled out to him.
Again, I have to say, Mark's too good to me. Would having sex ruin that? Crap. What if I'm not that good? What if he doesn't reach? Oh, my god, what if I can't reach? My, god. What am I doing? It's totally not like me to obsess over sex or anything for that matter! What is this man doing to me?
"Hey, man. Catch!" a voice called out to me.
"Huh? What?" Then I was pelted with a bag of chips.
Mark then came over to me and handed me the can of soda and picked up the bag of chips, "Damn, lose your ability to be in this world? Deep in . . ."
"Thought? Yes. Unfortunately, I am."
"Why the grimness?" he asked.
"Nothing, just thinking," I replied.
Mark leaned on the tree and was then silent just staring out into the sky. I was glad for his silence. My thoughts are just way too screwed up and I need to go through them.
Okay. Like Mark said, sex is either two things, lust or emotion. If only gender wasn't an issue. Why should it be? On occasion, I've been known to go beyond what is expected on me so why should love be any different? Perhaps I should just go for it. If gender didn't have any existence, then I would so likely do it so why the hell not?!
Pacing my way to Mark, almost running to make sure that I don't back out of it, I grabbed his hands pulled it away so he wouldn't do anything about it, and just kissed him. It was a tender kiss, no tongue at all. It wasn't passionate, just a meshing of lips, extremely awkwardly. Realizing what I had just done, I pulled away.
Mark was stunned, but then started to joke around, "If you wanted to trade for cheese balls you could have just asked."
Shutting my eyes tightly, I laughed, "I'm sorry. I had the whole vision on how I was gonna do this but I forgot the you were eating. Was it bad?"
"No, not at all. I just thought that you didn't want to do anything that was gay. Why did you kiss me?"
"I don't really know. There I was, just thinking about tonight. Then I saw you in my head and all I could think about was Mark kiss-age. Maybe I'm losing my mind. You said there were no strings but I somehow feel that I'm falling in . . ."
"No, don't say it!" he quickly stopped me. "Not yet. I remember how you feel. You just think that you're falling in love with me because of the promise of sex. Everyone falls in love with their first, you're no different. Trust me, you'll fall right out of it when you get bored of me. Then you'll go on to better stuff." There was sadness in his voice. Matt really hurt him.
"Mark, I'll never tire of you. As I said, `I do love you.' We don't really need to do this if you don't want to," I said hoping he'd turn that comment down.
"Nah, I'm fine. Anyway, I've wanted you for a long time and I want to do this. Sex with you will be great."
Great?! Is he kidding me? Stuttering, I tried to explain, "You know it m-m-might not be that great."
"Very unlikely. Can you think of any guy that thinks that any kind of sex that isn't great if they cum? Trust me, you'll get there."
Treading my way to the bench, I said down, set my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands, "That's not what I'm saying. What if you don't get there?"
"I'll get there. Sooner or later. Either by just jacking myself off or you'll bring me there. Any way is fine with me. Just being with you will be special enough for me."
"You're too good to me, you know that right?"
"What do you mean?" he asked as he sat down next to me.
"Every single time, you do stuff for me and I never seem to thank you. Than-- . . ."
"Don't say it!" He looked at his watch, "We don't have anymore time. Tell me tonight."
The bell rang and soon lunch was over. Class was going by too slowly and I need time to get home. Every second turned to minutes. Every minute turned to hours. I need to get out of here.
People all around asked why I was so excited to get home and my reply was always, `No reason.' There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Hey, it worked. School's over and I'm home.
Mom was, as always, in the kitchen. Chloe went straight to work, she picked up the phone. Dad was out at work. As for me, I need to ask my mother a very important question. "Mom, do you mind if I stay over at Mark's house tonight?"
She was a bit hesitant but she agreed to it after a bit of nagging in my part.
The rest of the hours appeared to have just melted away and soon I was getting ready. Taking a shower and putting on cologne, just like if I was going out on a date. Hm, is this a date? I pondered throughout this age old question as I brushed my teeth. My sister was in her room with the door open and I had to pass her along the way to my room. Then I needed to go back to the restroom. Then back to my room to change. Then back to the restroom to get my necklace.
I had to lie to Chloe because she was starting to get close, "Why are you getting all dressed up just to go to Mark's. It's not like you haven't slept over there before. Even I've slept over there."
Lie, think of a lie! "Actually, I'm going out on a date. I just told Mom that I'm spending time at Mark's so I don't have to come home tonight." I wore the right clothes, my lucky boxers, a polo shirt, and slacks. Damn. How am I gonna get passed Mom looking like this? "Say, Chloe. Do you think that Mom . . ."
"Won't question why your dressed like that going to Mark's house? Oh, no. She'll question. Then she'll make you change your clothes."
"Chloe?" I asked in a tone of voice that was almost pleading.
"Distract her?"
"I owe you one."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she grumbled as she walked down the stairs.
Making sure everything was intact (my shoes laced, my hair perfect, my necklace still on my neck), I made for the door. Chloe did her best to keep Mom from seeing me. I bumped into the lampshade and almost dropped the whole thing. Mom quickly turned around but Chloe grabbed her face and made Mom look at her. She diverted her attention instead to the prom dress discussion. My mother was so happy. Her tomboy daughter is finally acting like a girl! Chloe on the other hand was extremely pissed off and I had to make sure that I make it up to her someway.
The drive to Mark's house was the usual way. It took only about ten minutes. There I was. Just about to lose my virginity sitting in the car. Mark's house was right in front of me. Dare I go in? Hell, yes!
Making sure that I locked the door of the car, I almost skipped toward the front door. Ringing the door bell it seemed as if every ding and every dong represented my heart beat. No answer came and all the lights were off but there was a dim light radiating from his bedroom. Opening the door, I entered. The atmosphere of the place was dim and warm. I saw three candles and I walked toward the first one. This one was on a stool and next to it was a white rose. There was also a note right next to the candle. In it, it read, Beauty for beauty.' The second candle was at the foot of the stairs, with it came a note and chocolates. The note read, Sweet for sweet.' Finally, the last candle was at the top of the stairs. This one came with just a note. It read, `Me for you. Love, Mark.'
The door of Mark's room then opened inside there were candles everywhere. Everything had a romantic feeling to it. Mark came from behind the door and pulled me into the room, "You're late."
"Chloe had to distract my mom. The helpless romantic."
Smiling, he took me to the bed and shut the door. I sat there in awkward silence while Mark took off his shirt in front of me. "Don't take your clothes off. I'll do that," he commanded as he took off his jeans leaving him in his boxers. Mark's body is so perfect. Each muscle flexed with every movement.
He proceeded to take my clothing off, first my shirt, then my shoes and socks, finally my jeans leaving me exposed. Normally, I'm not that self-conscious but being in front of him, I covered my pelvic regions with my hands as much as possible.
He noticed this and smiled. He picked me up by the ears and then turned me around by the shoulders so I was facing the bed. Mark progressed on by kissing my neck as he took my hands away from my boxers. Setting them down on my sides, he pushed down my boxers, never once looking at or touching my penis. I was grateful because right now my dick is not like itself. From all the terror I had, it had shrunk up into my body. How embarrassing can this be?
Mark was still in his boxers but I could feel his dick against my body. His torso was against my back and the heat emitting from him was exquisite. Both his hands were above my lower body and kept touching my abdominal muscles so softly. I started to relax and just flow with it. Letting him do what he wants to do and doing my own. Making sure I didn't touch him either, I tried to take his last garment off but I couldn't do it. He noticed what I was trying to do so he took it off himself and set off to the side. We were now both naked but we haven't looked at each other directly yet. The sucking was transferred from left to right on my neck until he had touched every bit of flesh he could.
Whispering in my ear, he said, "Lay down on the bed on your front."
I did as he said, my head resting on the pillow. This time I started to blush. My bottom was now exposed to him and he had me under his spell. Kneeling on the bed with both legs on each side of my body, he rested his penis my back just before the tail bone. He caressed my back, from the top making my way down. The place where his dick was wet. I'm guessing that that was precum. It made a small puddle on the base of my back. He focused on that spot now, setting a firm but gentle pressure to the wet flesh. Little by little, he released some of the pressure and just ended up tracing my back with his finger tips.
My own erection had sprung up and precum was now seeping out of the tip.
"Don't worry about the bed. I'll wash it tomorrow," he said referring to the mess we were making. He finished up on the massage and moved lower. "Don't be shocked when I do this. Trust me, it's gonna be great."
I didn't understand what he meant until he spread my butt apart and I felt a tongue sliding up and down my asshole. This was an incredible feeling. My breathing, now labored, was soon to become irrational. My trepidation from Mark was disappearing and soon it was gone. I was ready now. "Mark? What you're doing is fantastic but I'm ready now."
He got up and walked to a toy car and popped up the engine. His dick was an amazing size. It looked to be at about seven inches with a slight curvature upwards but I couldn't really tell. Bouncing up and down as he walked to the car, I was mesmerized. Inside was a condom. "It's an easy way to store them. Plus it keeps my parents from finding them."
"Good idea," I replied still staring at his cock.
"Still bashful? If you want I could turn off the candles so I couldn't see," he asked with much seriousness.
This was dumb because soon it will be entering him so why don't I show him my erection? "Just for your information, I'm not as equipped as you."
Laughing, he threw the condom on the bed, flipped me over, straddled my stomach, looked at my six inch dick, and said, "You're perfect." Looking down at my dick again and then looking me straight in the eye, "He's perfect." We were now connected, eye to eye, face to face. Things were silent for a while but not exactly awkward. "I'm gonna kiss you now and I'm afraid to do it."
"Well, if it helps, I'm gonna kiss back," I explained.
"It does," he said as he pushed his lips against mine. Instant shocks sped through my lips. We had a natural vibe with each other. He pulled away from me after a second. I knew he felt what I had felt. He started to smile. Leaning in, he proceeded to kiss me, again. This time it was more passionate and much more sensual. We spent sometime kissing. Mark's breathing was . . . intoxicating.
He pulled away and stood up. "I forgot the lube. By the way," he said as he pulled out a tube of clear liquid, "make sure you don't use any petroleum based lube, it'll rip the latex. You can have the rest of this and another bottle after we're done."
"Are you sure? I mean, I'm not even gonna use it."
"Keep it just in case you do need it. Don't worry about it. I have like three more in my closet somewhere. I'm overeager. Stand up and get off the bed," he ordered.
I better do as he says since he's more experienced than I am, "Sure." Getting up, I stood next to the bed.
He sat on the bed, in front of me, I thought he was gonna suck me but instead he took some lube and coated my cock throughly, way throughly. He was muttering something I couldn't quite hear, something like, "Very nice indeed." Taking the condom, ripping it away from the foil, he rolled it on my dick. It was a bit tight and Mark noticed, "See? Your not as small as you think you are. Your thickness makes up for the lack of inches."
"Lack of inches?!" I wailed.
"Don worry about," he said as he stood up, looking at me directly. All of the sudden, he grabbed my ass and pulled up, "You make up for it in another department." I started to laugh but the fear of inadequacy still plagued my mind. My facial expressions must have alerted Mark so he started to talk, again, "Size doesn't really matter. It's what you do with it. Try it out and you'll do fine. Ready for some instructions to sex?"
"Aight, I'll follow your lead."
"Lesson one, stretching." He kneeled with his shoulders and face smashed on the pillow. "Okay, take the lube and put some on your fingers. Got it?"
"Done."
"Alright, start with one finger and try to fit it into my asshole."
Without hesitation I pushed one finger into his ass until the first knuckle.
That seemed to have been a mistake because he started to wince a bit. I eased up and just waited until Mark signaled me to continue. He used his orifice to tell me when by squeezing it tightly. I proceeded to go further until one finger was inside him as far as it was willing to go. Mark's so hot and tight.
"Okay, try another finger now."
We repeated to process until we had three fingers inside of Mark. Throughout the stretching, I jacked my dick so's not to lose my erection and waste a condom. We got ahead of ourselves in that department.
"Now, just try and keep it stretched out by moving your fingers in and out. Question, does talking dirty turn you on?"
Sarcastically, I said, "Oh, yeah. I love it when people tell me, `I want you. I need you. Your big dick in my ass will complete me."
I couldn't see his face but I heard a chuckle. "Okay, I'm finish with the stretching you can stop now. I'll be okay for the rest of the night. Now, it's time for step two, actually getting that big . . . veined . . . COCK to fit in my hot . . . tight . . . moist ass."
"You tease," I accused.
"Get behind me and do it. Start by easing it slowly into me because the head is always the hardest part," he said with all seriousness.
I wanna do this as he said. Slowly, but firmly, I pushed the head of my six inch dick into him tight crevice. Right away the feeling was instant. It like liquid fire surging throughout the head of my dick. It took a small bit of effort but soon the head popped right into place and held. The moist channel that is Mark, suddenly tensed up.
I slowed down my pursuit and soon I was fully inside of him. Let me tell you. The feeling is undescribable. It's wonderful but also unbearable at times. With all the fucking around we have done, it didn't take long for me to reach breaking point, "I'm gonna cum!" And I did, the hardest cum of my young life! Surging white cream popped through my cumslit, only to be blocked by the condom separating us. There were five shots in all as I counted.
Drained, I fell on Mark's back. My sweat mingled with his. Slick and hot, I ended up falling off of him and unto the bed. Naturally my cock dropped out of him and soon after Mark slumped down next to me, facing my face.
Exhausted, he said, "Your trembling. Are you cold?"
Checking out my hand, I was shaking but not cold, "I'm fine." With drooping eyes, I ended up falling asleep on Mark. I had finally found a person to love in my life.
Mark's POV
Just watching him fall into sleep made me feel a wave of satisfaction. Still, his body was shaking. I might as well help him. Taking off the condom, throwing it away, and covering his body with the thin sheet, I rested against him with my back against his sweaty front.