This work contains elements of sexuality between teens over 18, adults and includes homosexuality in prevalence. Please exercise proper discretion. Do not read this if it is illegal for you to do so or if the subject matter will potentially offend you. The author assumes no responsibility for misuse or misconduct associated with the dissemination or viewing of this work. Any characters, representations or events should be assumed to be purely fictional with any possible resemblance to the real world being entirely coincidental or otherwise such that it may be treated as innocuous. This work is copyrighted by the author, who retains all rights and priviledges. This work should not be reproduced without the written consent of the author. Please direct all feedback and comments to kanseiji@gmail.com. Thanks for reading.
This story is based heavily on the events and characters of From Where I Stand. Though the author endeavors to make this an independent, standalone work, it may still be beneficial for readers to have read FWIS or to refer to it at their own discretion.
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[ in a moment ] by kanseiji
Chapter One - New and Old
Adam ducked into the door as quickly as he could, the howling sound of the wind hushing out as the door closed behind him. A few shivers later, he started walking into the building to one of the lecture halls...or so he believed initially.
"God...this place is a mess," Adam said aloud as he attempted to navigate to the appropriate hall. He had his headphones on and was glancing back and forth between the surroundings and a map, trying to figure out where he was going. It was the first day of classes and though Adam thought he had the lay of the land down beforehand, he had neglected to locate specific rooms and lecture halls within the buildings.
Adam thought to himself, "Man, I should have asked Chris...he seems to know where everything is on the campus." A small smile crept onto his face as the thought passed through, but it was quickly followed by a small sigh as his expression returned to normal. He resumed glancing back and forth, but of course, such activities always have consequences. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Adam ran into something.
"Ugh!" a grunt came out as Adam looked up to see that he had bumped into someone.
"Oh, sorry bout that," Adam apologized sheepishly.
The bumpee collected himself a bit before responding, "Ah, that's ok. You look a bit lost, huh?"
"Yeah...I'm looking for Hall E. I keep getting all the halls mixed up," Adam admitted as he looked around confused.
"Haha, yeah the layout isn't exactly easy. Hall E is downstairs though...I'm heading there too," the apparently friendly bumpee responded. Upon hearing the directions, Adam took a moment to actually look at who he had bumped into.
"Um...this may sound kinda weird," Adam started as he looked a little closer. "But you look familiar..." Adam kept surveying, trying to recognize the person he was looking at...about his height at around 5'10" with short brown hair and glasses.
"Hmm..." the other guy started wondering as he examined Adam back. Then, a look of realization came across his face as he exclaimed, "OH! Hey you were in my econ class during SSP!"
Bingo. "Oh right! I knew you looked familiar."
"Yeah, I guess none of us really talked much in that class. I'm Brad," he said as he stuck out his hand to shake.
"I'm Adam...nice to meet you."
"You too. So, we're both in the same class I take it."
"Yeah looks like...small world, huh?"
"Haha, yep. Well, we should probably get going, we're gonna be late."
"Oh right, yeah let's go," Adam responded as they turned to head down the stairs.
As they walked together toward the lecture hall, Brad asked, "So do you think this is gonna be hard? Physics isn't exactly my strongest suit."
"Eh, I'm ok with physics as long as it's just math...some of the concepts will probably fuck around with me."
"Oh? Well I can't handle the math as much...I did really bad on some of the econ stuff because of all those equations," Brad laughed, recalling the past summer class. "I'm pretty good with abstract concepts though..."
"Ooo...hey, we should do homework together, haha. Between the two of us, we should be able to at least fake like we know what we're doing," Adam suggested, chuckling a little.
"Sounds like a plan."
The two walked into the lecture hall, which was filling up significantly with over a hundred other freshmen. It wasn't at all surprising since it was a common required course, but still annoying. Adam and Brad managed to squeeze into a middle row with two adjacent empty seats just as the professor started. Both had been expecting the first day to be rather mundane, possibly consisting of going over a syllabus and other administrative stuff...but about two minutes into the class, the professor started drawing things on the board and jotting down equations...much to the wide-eyed shock of many in the class.
"Man..." Adam whispered as he took notes, "I feel like he wanted us to read half the book already."
Brad nodded in agreement. "This is gonna be one of those classes that make you not wanna be a science major...I can feel it."
"Yeah...man I wish I took AP physics like my roommate now," Adam joked. His thoughts stopped for a moment, but he shook the pause free and returned to note taking.
"Heh, well just get him to tutor you...and by extension, me, haha."
"I'll see what I can negotiate," Adam responded, smiling again.
"RYAN! OVER HERE!" Chris yelled onto the yard, waving to get the attention of a far-off figure. About a minute later, he was greeted as the figure finally reached him.
"Hey man! Sorry, I couldn't hear you for a minute...stupid wind," Ryan greeted.
"Haha, don't tell me you're not used to the weather yet. You've been here for two years already," Chris laughed as Ryan shivered in the wind. He gave Chris a confused look while rolling his eyes as he observed.
"How can you just stand there and not be cold?" Ryan asked in bewilderment.
"Um, born and raised here?" Chris asked, unsure of what else to suggest.
"Y'know the only thing I actually miss about home is the WARM WEATHER," Ryan stated as he continued shivering.
Chris shook his head, paused for a moment and took off his own jacket, offering it to Ryan. "Here, put this on so I don't have to listen to you whimpering, hehe."
"Dude! You're gonna freeze to death!"
"It's 50 degrees."
"Oh...well, you'll chill to death!"
"Just put it on, I consider this nice weather," Chris admitted as he shook his jacket in front of Ryan, who somewhat reluctantly took it.
"Ok...thanks...but if you catch cold and die of complications or something, I hope you realize there are multiple people who will hunt me down."
"Yep, haha. But you can relax, once Justin and I went to school in the middle of the winter in shorts and a t-shirt on a dare...didn't even catch a cold."
"You guys are weird...awesome, but weird."
"I'll take that as a compliment...I think."
Chris and Ryan continued chatting as they walked across the campus. It was an unusually brisk day in Cambridge, but there were still plenty of signs that summer had hardly just passed. Some of the braver souls from the northeast were sporting short sleeves and sandals despite the weather. Chris was one of those Boston natives that hardly noticed cold until it was less than 40 degrees while Ryan was a California boy that still thought snow was something marvelous despite his two years of white winters at Harvard.
As they walked, Ryan recalled when he had met Chris and that he and his friends helped him equip for his first cold winter since he was devoid of warm clothing. As the memories streamed through his head, he noticed that he wasn't really cold anymore as he felt Chris's jacket warming him up. Ryan noticed that jacket fit surprisingly well despite the fact that he was more than a few inches taller at just under six feet, but he remembered that they fit each other's clothes relatively due to similar builds...skinny ones.
The stroll paused as the two reached a crosswalk. Chris started to jaywalk per Boston custom, but stopped when he noticed Ryan wasn't following. As he looked over, Chris saw that Ryan was looking at a reflection of himself in a window.
"Take a picture Ry, it'll last longer."
"Haha. Man, where did you get this jacket? I like it," Ryan said as he checked himself out, Chris's black jacket fitting nicely against his torso. "It's soo warm too."
"It's too warm half the time...the thing doesn't really breathe. But it's practically waterproof and windproof, so you may wanna get one. I like it cause it's not bulky."
"Yeah...but I'm always cold here, so I think I can live with no breathing. So where is it from?"
"FCUK. We can go into Boston later if you want," Chris offered as they resumed crossing the street after the signal turned.
"Yeah that'd be good. Oh, so is Adam meeting us here?" Ryan asked as they stepped inside of a building just off Harvard Square.
"He said he'd be here right after his class let out...and that was like five minutes ago, so he should be along." The two found their way through the building and both of them took an unconscious deep breath as they neared their destination...Starbucks. The deep breath didn't go unnoticed by the two of them.
"Do you think we like coffee too much?" Ryan asked jokingly.
Chris asked incredulously, "Since when is there such thing as too much coffee?"
"Good point. Do you see Adam?" Ryan inquired as he stood on his toes, looking around.
"Nah I don't think he'll beat us here. Come on, let's order," Chris suggested as he turned and walked up to the counter.
"Hey Chris!" he was greeted by a cheery-faced girl.
"Oh, hey Steph! Did you switch shifts or something?"
"Eh, just today. Good to see my boys, haha. Usuals for you two?" Chris and Ryan were very much frequents at that Starbucks since it was very close to Harvard.
Chris responded, "Yup. Oh and one venti green tea frappuccino, no whip."
"Oh, not just you two today?" Steph inquired as she rang them up.
"My roommate is coming in a minute," Chris answered.
Ryan laughed at the order a little. "That's so cute."
"Don't you start too," Chris sighed. "I get enough from Justin and Jase."
"Aww come on dude...it's not like the two of you are a bad fit or something."
"I know...but I'm not ready yet."
"Yeah I get that. So how's Jase doing? I haven't really talked to him that much since he went to school."
Chris let a fleeting memory of happiness float through his head before answering. He thought about Jase often and they still talked on every available occasion. Their breakup was more of a feelings-saver as they both wanted to avoid the heartache associated with a long distance relationship and felt that it was better to do everything possible to stay good friends. Whether it actually worked as far as relieving heartache was debatable in Chris's eyes since he missed Jase constantly.
"He's doing fine...says he likes the place. Apparently the campus is very picturesque."
"Good...um, if you want, I just won't talk about him at all," Ryan offered tentatively.
"It's ok...I'm doing fine. It's just...I'm not ready to move on just yet."
"Ok, but keep in mind there are people to help you through it," Ryan reminded Chris as they gathered their drinks and sat down on a couch together.
"Will do," Chris responded as he leaned his head on Ryan's shoulder a little. A little outward affection was hardly unusual for them despite the fact that Ryan was straight. In actuality, Chris had done more with Ryan sexually than he had with anyone besides his then ex-boyfriend Jase...of course it was largely alcohol-influenced, but that didn't change the fact that there was a certain mutual comfort between them.
Ryan perked up a little as he realized, "Hey, are we gonna get real food or are we just doing coffee?"
"I was gonna wait for Adam so he doesn't have to get sent off by himself to get food."
"Aww...you two..."
Chris cut him off, "I said don't start..."
"Haha, I was just gonna say you make good roomies since you're always looking out for each other."
"Sure you were..."
"Heh. No seriously. You two are getting like, dare I say, you and Justin-type close."
Chris had to think about that for a minute. It was true enough that he and Adam were very close...they had only known each other for almost two years at that point, but they had bonded very quickly thanks to a great deal in common and highly compatible personalities. There was something to be said about Chris's relationship with his best friend Justin, since they had known each other for over a decade and were as close as two guys could be on a pseudo-fraternal/platonic level...if that makes any sense...but Chris and Adam were like kindred spirits.
"Hmm...well maybe we are. That's a good thing right?" Chris asked, a little unsure.
"It's a good thing, don't worry. However, it'd be nice if we could get food...where is Adam anyway?" Ryan asked.
"Right here!" Adam called out as he rushed up and flopped onto the couch next to Chris.
"Ok," Ryan started, pointing at Adam. "Now that was eerie."
"Haha, well I just have good timing," Adam responded grinning.
"He has a point there," Chris interjected. "This morning we passed each other like five times because he was always just enough behind me to do whatever I had been doing...getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting dressed, etc..."
"Ok, when did you two get married?" Ryan asked, somewhat amused.
"A bit after you and Chris had your little fling," Adam threw in...which was greeted by wide eyes from Chris and Ryan. Adam just buckled over laughing. "Oh man...you guys, that look is priceless!"
Ryan looked at Chris in disbelief, to which Chris responded, "What? You're the one who told him. This is YOUR fault."
Ryan thought for a moment, threw up his hands and declared, "Guilty."
Adam looked over at the table as he chuckled and saw a big green drink staring back at him.
"Oooo...thanks Chris!" He let out as he dove headfirst into his drink.
"You're one of the few people I know that drinks those things," Chris remarked to Adam.
"Really? I thought they were popular. Maybe you are just around too many coffee fiends like Ryan here," Adam mentioned, pointing to Ryan.
"We're called purists," Ryan corrected.
"Haha, yeah whatever. So, are we getting food?" Adam asked nonchalantly.
It didn't take any more cue...Chris and Ryan jumped up with Adam not far behind as they headed to the food outlets in the building.
Later that night, Chris and Adam found themselves practically falling into their room. There was a comfortable silence between them as they went about their little end of the day routines...putting things away, checking e-mail and the like. There hadn't been much of an adjustment for either of them upon moving in together for college...they just naturally synced with each other. The two did have slightly different tastes for certain things, such as music, but both felt open to new things as they took turns playing music in the room while they hung out or studied.
Chris was oft amused by the audio equipment that Adam had brought with him from home. The room was setup for surround sound within a day of moving in and there was a very ominous-looking subwoofer in the corner that weighed on the lines of 50 pounds. Adam exercised a great deal of restraint though as using the full power of the system would have brought down the wrath of the residential fellows...and possibly the campus power grid. There was almost always some sound in the room though...be it head rocking or gentle and quiet.
Adam felt compelled to put music on as soon as he and Chris got back to the room. Neither of them had a lot in terms of homework, but there was some reading to be done. Chris had remarked that he studied better with more engaging music most of the time, so Adam took his Breaking Benjamin CD and started playing it. Chris, who had been in his bedroom, came out smiling as he heard the music playing.
"You've been listening to this a lot lately Adam," Chris commented as he moved over to his desk. A few swift motions later and a full computing station was up and going before him, complete with a desktop, notebook computer, two LCDs and several wireless peripherals.
Adam sat down in his office chair and rolled over to Chris's desk as he had been doing often. "Yeah, I guess I'm just sorta in that mood."
"Angry rocker mood?"
"Something like that, haha. I dunno, sometimes I guess I feel like screaming and since it's kinda taboo to do that, I figured I could just listen to someone else scream a lot more eloquently."
"That's some polluted logic you have there...and the sad part is, I agree, haha."
"Heh, doubt not my logic...for it would be illogical."
"Don't push it,"
"Haha, worth a shot. So, how was the rest of your day?"
Chris pushed back a little from his desk to face Adam. He couldn't help but stare briefly at Adam's piercing blue eyes as they looked back at him. Chris had always found a small bit of peace looking into Adam's eyes, but, not wanting to create any awkwardness by staring, he diverted his gaze slightly as he thought up a response.
"Oh, um...it was ok I guess. It was mostly just syllabus stuff today. How bout you? Any more surprises like in physics?"
"Man...no, thank God. I don't know if I could have taken another one of those. Oh by the way, you're gonna help me with physics right?" Adam asked in a slightly begging tone as he smiled widely, showing almost every one of his teeth.
"Haha, yeah I'll help...or at least I'll try. No telling how much I remember."
"Y'know I'm already reconsidering a science major and this was just the first day of class...is that a bad sign?"
"Heh, possibly. But hey, you may end up liking the stuff, so maybe just keep at it for a bit. Besides, you're good at science."
"No...I'm good with math. However using math is another matter..."
"Hehe, well still, you should be fine. So anything else happen today?"
"Hmm...oh wait, I forgot to mention at lunch, but I met a guy that I took econ with here for SSP. He's in my physics class," Adam recalled.
"Oh cool...small world. So, was he cute?" Chris asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Heh...he's not bad, but pretty straight I think."
"Aww...oh well, there's nothing particularly wrong with straight guys I suppose..."
"Like we should talk...speaking of straight guys, have you talked to Justin lately? I think I missed a call from him earlier."
"Not really. Our Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedules sorta don't work out well. He was probably just gonna see if you wanted to grab food or something."
"So is he surviving without you feeding him?" Adam laughed. Chris was a very avid about cooking and his friends, particularly Justin, enjoyed the benefits of that.
"Haha, I think so. He still thinks we should all go home over the weekend to get proper food a la me."
"Ooo...I'm up for that, hehe."
"Gee what a surprise there," Chris chuckled while rolling his eyes.
"Hey, I have to get some perks out of rooming with you right?"
"Oh besides my wonderful company?"
"Yeah besides that."
"Ha! Well I think food may be in order by the weekend...between eating out and eating at the dining hall...I think my stomach is yelling at me."
"Yeah me too."
A brief pause worked its way into the flow of the conversation. Adam had slid his chair a little closer to Chris as they were talking. Chris was sitting backwards with his arms folded over the back his chair with his chin lying atop. For a moment, they both just took in each other's presence. Adam in particular took the opportunity just look Chris over. By then he had a perfect mental picture of Chris no matter where he was...short black hair, dark brown eyes, simple, but well-defined features...Adam even knew exactly what Chris's glasses looked like from memory. But that never stopped him from looking. In his mind, Adam was afraid to use the word "love" to describe how he felt about anyone, but as time went on, he thought that it was increasingly appropriate to what he was feeling for Chris.
"So," Adam started off again, trying to limit his own staring. "Have you talked to Jase today?" Adam mentally kicked himself for bringing that subject up. Not only did he not want Chris to feel bad, but he also didn't want to bring Chris's ex-boyfriend into play since he knew Chris was still very much in love with him.
"Yeah I talked to him briefly this morning. He's getting along pretty well in Rochester." Adam noticed that Chris was a little sullen in his response, so he decided to try and change the subject.
"Ok. Hey, how much work do you actually have to do tonight?"
"Um...not much. I could probably get away with doing nothing since I don't have the classes again until Wednesday."
"Well it's still pretty bright outside...feel like taking a bike ride by the river?"
Chris smiled instantly. "Let's go!"
Adam smiled widely himself as he and Chris ducked into their bedrooms to grab their gear. His smile faded slightly as deeper thoughts crept into his consciousness.
"I just need to give him some more time," Adam thought to himself as he stood in his doorway waiting for Chris to reappear. "He just needs time to move on. I hope that he can move on...to me."