Impossible Love

Impossible Love 97

maxieplus

"What happened Leon?"

"He was beaten so much he got some brain damage, to all of the worlds he was okay, but not to me. I knew he was damaged and I promised him and myself I would protect him for the rest of our lives." He looked to heaven and whispered.

"Forgive me my Carlos please forgive me." He then burst out crying and I took him in my arms and rubbed his back all the while saying.

"It's all right it's okay Leon stop looking back at the past because thats where it should be left. It is in the past." He grabbed both my arms and looked at me.

"He was beaten so badly he was put into a hospital for months and mama Sabine rescued him to give to me, only me, she came home one day with my beautiful Carlos and said he was my brother and I had to look after him for good. He was bullied very much every day at school and I spend most of my childhood fighting for him, telling everyone he was mine and how clever he was, and they can not treat him like they do. Gianni and Luca helped me, and every night Carlos cried in my arms because he has so many nightmares. But he was mine from the start of our lives together, and I was his."

"I am only telling you the outskirts Antonio, it was Luca and I that forced him to learn at school it was very difficult for him, but we got a winner when he went to learn the flute. We started playing mafia earlier on, and for some reason, he liked that the best, so I carried it on because he felt better and more in charge. I used to give him his orders and he would follow them, it was a game we played for many years. I am sorry but I forget that sometimes we have stopped playing, and I sound like I am giving orders to everyone. But please Antonio please do not hate me, I will never give up on my Carlos, I will always be fighting for him. My words are not meant to be disrespectful it is just the way I am, especially with my Carlos, he likes it when I give orders maybe his mama did that to him, but he follows mine like an adorable little puppy that I love so very much. We also love to keep secrets like our gran, it is something we do on the automatic, never to disrespect our family or friends."

I reached for the tissues again.

"When we found out we could get some hard-ons, we started then to make love, there was no other option, we were cement solid."

"So when you are dismissing my questions you are only being protective?" I asked.

"In some ways Antonio, we love you like we love each other, but I am so used to making decisions for my Carlos that I sometimes forget you are different, and I do not mean it in a nasty way. You have brought with you a wonderful part of our missing lives, so much joy and laughter, we do not know how to deal with it in our little world. But we want to so very much for you to be in our lives. Yesterday was a big flop because you were not there, everyone was down sad, even Stavros. We will try harder but Carlos said not to say anything, but I have to because we do not want to lose you, you are joy, you are our for a better word plaything our puppy, our best friend."

Crying so much crying, I now sort of have a better understanding of why he is like he is, he's been so used to defending Carlos by shutting people out or keeping secrets they shared he doesn't know how to treat a friend who only has his best interest at heart.

"I got this way because anyone that mentioned Carlos was immediately put on alert. I am sorry but you never said anything about him and he loves you for that. I told him to make the cd because you would love it he was very happy with that. But I also kept Gianni's secrets and grans secrets from you thinking I will be able to handle the problems without upsetting you. I thought I was good at that, I thought in my head I was keeping you safe. That is all I am trying to do forever. The filming was your idea and I know it is not the story, it is you, it is you that has to be in the story because you are the story."

"Antonio, I know you maybe do not understand me but it is the truth, to save Carlos I made myself sound mean. I tried so hard to change but memories still are haunting me. Anyone that looked strange at my Carlos anyone that said something, anyone that said he was crazy I dismissed. I once dismissed a wine buyer who was from the Russian government, he wanted us to make much wine but he said he only wanted to talk to the smart one of the family, me. I dismissed him and lost mama millions, she does not know."

"Leon it sounds more like you are the one that needs to talk to someone, Carlos is fine he is well and truly healed and very happy. I think you are living in the past too much. I will not dare to tell you how to change because I do love you as you are, and I get it, I get it loud and clear how you work. You love us all, look what you have done for Conner and Brent if anyone needed your help it is those two, and Iris she was a lonely old lady before she found you. There are many good things you have done for everyone and I do not mind in the least appearing in your little serial. I insist on it and you know why?"

"Why Antonio?"

"Firstly because I love you and Carlos very much, and secondly someone has to fix that god-awful filming that happened yesterday." I laughed he smiled at last.

"It was awful Antonio, I have no idea what I am doing with it. That is why there was nothing for you to look at, I felt very inadequate you intimidated my creative needs because you were not watching."

"Let me help then, I am your brother and friend and I can help."

"Only appearances please Mr. Antonio."

We both nearly screamed with happiness, Leon poured me another drink and I clinked glasses with him. I will ponder what he said to me later on because Carlos maybe has healed, but Leon isn't, he is locked in this childhood and I have to find a way to release him.

After an hour or so and four bottles of vino, Anna came to find me.

"The ladies thought you had abandoned your children."

"Did you bring Sammy?"

"Yes and he's nowhere to be seen, I think the girls have hidden them all away." She laughed.

"Furthermore why wasn't I invited to this little party?" She placed her hands on her hips.

"Want a drink?"

"Of course." I opened another bottle.

Leon added a little more information when we went in to find the boys, he held me back and said.

"He can't sing Antonio, but I have to make him believe he can, it is all about having the confidence."

"I know I guessed that a long time ago."

"You did?'

"Yes."

"I will make something out of you yet, my Antonio."

We laughed again and when the kids heard us they appeared from under the table all smiling.

We had a very good time with the ladies and when Rose sidled up to me she asked me if Leon was my current lover, she had heard rumors, I answered yes, she giggled.

I gathered up my tribe and a very happy brother and we said our farewells to the girls then walked down to the market. We did stop to have another vino just a small one this time. He stopped me and handed me some eye drops.

"Do not give them any ammunition, lean your head back, I will do you then you can do me." I smiled

as I looked into his gorgeous eyes.

I staggered into the cafe and Leon went straight out the back to cuddle Carlos. I had no idea whether he knew Leon was telling tales, but I did kiss him after I kissed my husband.

Alice was behind me and the babies were happy to tell her where they had been for the past five hours, did I hear complaining? Gianni had his genuine smile back and I winked at him.

"Oh Leon, I will insist Fanny's love scene is with the padre of the Camorra, me."

"I have thought that Antonio, see we work well together but no lines please, you have still got a big mouth, vino?" He is shutting me down again, but this time I didn't mind.

"Yes my lovely friend, Gianni a quick fuck?"

"I suppose so Antonio will he be filming it, do I need my dress." I laughed so much, there was no filming today we just partied like we never did before.

So much for a little kid to take on, Sabine did tell me they both had some sort of therapy but I will have to talk to her again about it, and I want to help Leon. I think Carlos is happy in his little world he does grin a lot, and I got to say I have never thought he was slow just maybe a tiny bit, but thats all.

Gianni had one drink then he had to go to pick up the boy, I sat with Leon and we planned a serial to match any mafia movie I had ever seen, he told me he had planned to name gran the crazy old cook, so I laughed again and slotted that name in.

We did laugh a lot and we got a bit done, Carlos sat there and couldn't stop smiling, everything in his world was good again I get it, I think.

We laughed a lot while we planned a day of filming, I told him we have to have a plan for the storyline from start to finish so we know where we are going with it. He agreed and we set about making some sort of story.

We got a lot done and I suggested we make a promo first maybe use some old film he has on the camera like Iris being put to bed, we can film Conner as a body on Friday when the show is on, things like that.

The show was full of Mafia, murders, intrigue, loose women, and most importantly a show about the concrete loafer. That was written at the top of the page we will add to it later if necessary.

Lukas was in with the babies watching tv, he had a good day at school and spent some time telling me all about it when he arrived, and all was good again with me and my family. Gianni was smiling still, and as he helped me into the car he kissed me endlessly, then I had a short nap. It half sobered me up, well I felt much better after ten minutes of silence.

When we arrived home he even started the dinner while I opened yet another bottle of wine. The first gulp hit me hard and after that, I can't remember a damn thing, but I do remember waking up with dear Carlos's bum in my face, it was awesome and if I could clone it, I would make millions selling it on eBay.

Gran arrived she has a big day today, she's going to take Lukas with her to collect some rent, maybe she will take him on his first train ride because she also has to go into the city. He will love the tall buildings and the train, no sauces to do today and grandad said he had already watered his plants.

"He won't be too much for you gran?" No answer just a slight moan.

The kids came up then Iris appeared, she sat next to me and took my hand.

"Did you get the answer you needed?'

"Yes dear friend, I understand now."

"Good, now would be the best time to ask if you can see your questions for tomorrow night's show."

"I don't think I will pursue that line of thinking Iris, I am prepared for anything though." I laughed, Gianni looked at me. I doubt whether we will be going to the market anytime soon because he looked at Leon and said.

"Can you take the babies to work, Antonio and I have unfinished business to attend to?"

"Yes Gianni our brother, I think Antonio's bum will be very sore today."

"Leon!" Gran shouted.

"Sorry, our gran I meant his gums." My God, he's quick.

She almost threw breakfast on the table and Carlos let one ball slip from his shorts so Iris could get a better look.

When they all left Gianni started with the kissing, he took his time just standing in the family room, he started swaying and whispered in my ear.

"Did you get it all sorted out Antonio?"

"Yes, my husband I have a better understanding of what they have been through now.

"Please do not believe all that Leon says, Carlos is fine, he was always fine because he had Leon and Luca and me. He can not even remember his little boy's childhood it is Leon that remembers.

"I sort of got that baby, I would like Leon to get some help, I may ask Brent who he went to."

"If you feel like you must Antonio, but Carlos and I like Leon as he is, he might change for worse."

"So you are both letting him believe he's still looking after Carlos then?"

"A little Antonio, Carlos gets plenty of kisses and cuddles and wine and Leon gets to order everyone around, win win in my books." He grinned.

"Well we will see, but if it looks like it is getting too much for him I will step in."

"You do that my Antonio, now would you like to step into my parlor and I will show you how much in love with you I am?"

"This I want to experience very much my Gianni."

"I think you are too hot, you may want me to help you take your clothes off."

"Yes I am a little warm Gianni, and that would be very helpful seeing my shorts are already down around my ankles." He started laughing and before he lost the mood I pushed him into the bedroom.

We made love for an hour or so, then we didn't want to do it, but we dressed and slowly walked down to the market. Every light was on in the place and two of Stavros's mates were dressed in black sitting at a table Leon was hitting Pedro over the head with a big book saying.

"Get out of my club filthy Camorra, get out and do not come back, the mafia will fit you with concrete loafers if you do."

"Did someone call me?" Iris appeared with a pair of concrete loafers in her hands, she looked lovely in her sequinned dress.

"No concrete, maybe next time." Then he hit the guy again and yelled.

"Get out." They stood up and walked back to Stavros's table.

I started laughing, it was so funny.

"Did you like that scene Antonio?"

"Very much Leon, I loved it."

"Did you bring your boots?'

"In my backpack." I grinned.

"Good can you place your black pants on with the boots, I want you to sit at the table with your feet on it, just a cameo for your boots this time Antonio."

I dashed out the back to do his bidding.

"That was the fifth time we had done that scene Antonio, poor Pedro's head." Iris giggled.

"He would make a fine boyfriend for you Iris he's packing."

"What do you mean?"

"When he moved I could see his crotch was large in his tight pants, maybe he fancies you."

"Stop it Antonio you know I only have eyes for Carlos."

"I see." Laughing I stripped my shorts off in front of her and pulled my black pants on, take that lady.

The market shoppers must have thought we were a crazy bunch, and several stood around to watch me place my boots on the table.

"Can we have some silence here please," Leon yelled.

"Carlos run tape, Antonio say nothing just stay there quiet and still."

Carlos panned down my leg to my boots then Leon yelled.

"Cut!"

"Is that all?"

"Yes for now Antonio, we must go to Mr. Conners house tonight to film him dead, for the next scene."

"So you do not need me?"

"Only if you are up to making love to Fanny in the bathroom Antonio, you will need no underwear for that scene." He laughed his head off.

I don't mind, I went to tell him I didn't mind being nude, but he ran off with Carlos to open a vino.

I grabbed myself a coffee and sat out the front, Stavros came over and sat for a minute.

"Be very careful Antonio, they are setting you up again."

"How?"

"I do not think this movie is about the mafia so much, I wondered what they were trying to do the other day and it didn't look right. I have a sneaky suspicion the movie is about you."

"What?"

"Yes, I overheard Leon saying to Carlos they had to get a lot of footage of you without you knowing."

"Did they, well this will be interesting, thank you, Stavros." He put his hand out I gave him a twenty.

"You are now on the payroll, let me know if you hear anything else."

"I will Antonio, we should be able to pick up the storyline by the scenes they are filming."

"Thank you." I guess I now have another old ally.

Gianni came out just as I was about to go see the babies, he had coffee in his hand and a cake, so I stayed for a few minutes to have some.

"Your big scene was awesome Antonio."

"Thank you Gianni, but it was easy there were no lines."

"I had some lines the other day I had to say. I will call my family the Camorra if you do not stop it."

"Interesting, I thought this movie was all about the mafia."

"It is Antonio, I think they are introducing another element so I heard Leon say."

"Elements are good Gianni."

"Yes Antonio, we should introduce another element into our lovemaking."

"What do you have in mind?"

"We will see, I have not decided yet."

I guess I will be kept in the dark until he makes his mind up.

"By the way where is Sabine?"

"She went to Sydney for three days, some conference Tony had to attend

, why?"

"Because I haven't seen her since I got back."

"She misses you and the babies, but will be back tonight I think."

"Good."

I heard crying so I got up and went into the florist shop. Luca was crying, Alice said they had a small fight over one of the toys, so I picked him up and checked out the other two who were smiling at me, I will get to them later. As soon as I walked out the door they started, so Gianni rushed in and grabbed the both of them. I ordered some chocolate froth and calmed them down, maybe they are getting a little stir crazy cooped up in there.

The condiment tray went flying at one stage when little Gianni swept his hand over the table so I handed Luca to Stavros and cleaned it up. Stavros started playing cards and Luca was helping himself to his coins.

"Don't let him put them in his mouth Stavros." I said.

"I'm watching, do you think I do not know how babies work?"

"No, just reminding you that's all."

The boys came out with their wine, I didn't want any but I knew they were up to something.

"Antonio?"

"Yes Leon."

"Do you not think that maybe we can go to our grans after work, we have some filming to do?"

"That's okay we have to go anyway to pick Lukas up."

"I was just checking Antonio, that is all."

Carlos got up from the table and walked into Angelo's and Leon sang out.

"Do not forget to film the kitchen my Carlos."

"No my Leon." He sang out as he made his way through the tables out the back. Around ten minutes later he came back with a big smile on his face and they both sat there and looked through the footage. I wasn't offered a peep so I had a glass of wine instead.

Time to pick our boy up and I couldn't wait to hear his stories about what happened today, he will be so excited. Gianni drove us to grans carefully and the babies started again. I think they are ganging up on Luca today, hopefully, grandad will sort them out. Lukas ran to the car he was so excited, I couldn't help Gianni and Iris with the kids because I was dragged onto the porch to listen to his report. I had picked him up because I always like to talk to them face to face, he couldn't get his words out fast enough. He had gone on a train then he saw some big big buildings and another ride on a thing called a tram. I got the gist of it, gran had taken him for a grand tour of the city. He had a drink from a big big shop and sat in a mall to feed the birds. He, in short, had a wonderfully exciting day.

I kissed him then gran as the kids ran to see their nono, then I think after he had told me everything he had to tell his papa, his other grandma and uncles. I watched as he was placed on Gianni's lap and then he started his story all over again.

"He had a good day then," I asked gran.

"Yes Antonio, he never stops talking even on the train he talked to everyone, I was so proud of him because he is a good boy."

"Did you do any shopping?"

"A little Antonio, just some new school clothes he liked. I have left them at the door." I went to have a look, just a few she said, by the time I looked through the big shopping bag I counted six new outfits for Lukas and three each for the babies. They weren't market clothes either, there were some great outfits in that bag.

"And did you get your business done?"

"Yes grandson, I collect the rent on a shop in the city." She whispered.

"Good." I can only imagine what the shop looked like, probably down some laneway which there are plenty of in the city.

"My crowning glory, four floors of prime real estate." She smiled.

The babies were quiet and when Lukas finished we all had to go and say hello to his garden. It was looking very healthy and I see his beans are starting to sprout.

"Antonio, will you sit with us for a moment please?"

"Yes Leon, what's up?'" Gianni sniggered, I looked at him, then the boys.

"If you are trying to set me up again I will not be happy Leon."

"No Antonio, we want to do a filming in grans kitchen, we want you to place your pants and shoes on."

"Okay that's okay, what else." I think.

They took their time then said.

"Antonio, we have given you a speaking part today can you learn your lines please?"

"How many are there Leon?" I decided I will go along with it they wouldn't make me of all people look bad. He passed over a piece of paper and I read.

"I will teach you to interfere in our business old woman, take this."

"Is that all?" I looked at him.

"For the moment thank you Antonio."

When we got back gran and Iris had changed and she had an old-fashioned floral dress with an apron on and was standing behind her kitchen counter with Iris in her thirties outfit.

"Are you prepared gran?"

"Yes Leon, this is very exciting for this old grandmother."

"We will practice then we do the filming, Antonio go and get dressed please." I grabbed my backpack which had mysteriously appeared in the lounge room and changed into my black suit and boots, maybe I will get a close-up this time.

When I came out gran didn't look too good she was about to say something.

"Do you not think this old grandmother with the new heart is stupid? I do not know what you are talking about, and I will cut your throat if you come near me."

"What the hell?" I said.

"Acting Antonio, I am a very good nona actor do you not think?"

"Yes gran," I giggled.

"Antonio stand beside our gran and say your words fiercely at her."

I did what I was told and she picked up her meat cleaver to strike me.

"Now strangle her to death Camorra."

"What?"

"Just do it."

I went around the back of the counter, Gianni was there on his hands and knees ready to catch gran, I placed my hands around her neck and she started screaming as she slid gently onto the floor.

"Cut."

"Antonio, look at Carlos and place an evil grin on your face. I did what I was told and he said.

"Perfect, now we film for real, are you okay our gran?"

"Yes Leon, I am fine.

We filmed the scene three times it only stopped when gran complained about her back, I wasn't strangling her, if I had been she would have been well and truly dead by now.

Then it was Iris's turn, she was placed behind the counter and had to walk out and say.

"Now?'

That's all the lines she had, and she also had her concrete loafers in hand.

I think this story is about me and the concrete loafer is just a prop, I think she's there to place her loafers on me then throw me in the river

at the ending.

It was so funny, and I sort of guessed that I was the resident killer, it wasn't until later back at the house when I saw some of today's filming it was all in black and white, except they had somehow made my heels stand out in red.

Maxie and Tommaso were doing that for them.

Lukas was pretty excited to get downstairs and Iris was onto her first for the day, she has her show on tomorrow night so I guess she's keeping herself nice. I heard the lift come up and Sabine and Tony arrived, we got a lot of screaming from the kids, they looked refreshed and she hugged me then made a beeline to the babies.

"Did you have a good time Tony?" He doesn't hug anyone just shakes hands.

"Yes Antonio, we have a big corporate meeting then a dinner, some shopping, another meeting some more shopping you know how it goes." he laughed.

"I guess you brought back more luggage than you took."

"We sure did." He laughed.

It was time to go downstairs, and Lucas was jumping up and down so much that I took him on his own, Alice was there and he immediately got up on her knees and started his take on a great day out.

He kept holding her face so she didn't look away while he prattled on.

The babies rushed around the corner, no Sam today, so they went into Gino's apartment to find him. I could hear the screaming from where I sat with my fresh glass of wine.

The boys went in to find them and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when Anna arrived her girls were on show and Gino was grinning, the four babies were next they all had oversized black jackets on.

"We are ready for you Anna, please come and stand here," Leon said.

He had a bag in his hands then started handing out toy guns to the babies. He posed Anna against the wall and the babies in front with guns drawn, except Luca he wanted to eat his. The camera was going and they were filmed without words I think Anna was supposed to be selling herself to any passer-byes, then Gino got up walked over, he took her hand and they disappeared into the flat, the babies were guarding the entrance after Carlos posed them.

No, I have no idea where they are going with this one, But the kids certainly loved their guns and their time in front of the camera.

"CUT!" Leon eventually yelled it was hard to film because the kids wanted to play.

They took their time to come out and Gino had a very large lump in his black pants.

"That is it for the day we must work on tomorrow night's show Iris, Antonio are you still a guest, please?"

"Yes Leon, I will do it."

"Thank you."

"Do I have any lines or questions?'

"No Antonio, just be yourself." He smiled.

Yes they are up to something again, I had another vino and listened to the conversations around me. Maxie and Tomas were on board and were telling Leon that the promo has been done. Leon said he had to put the serial back a few weeks because of family problems, and I did hear him say he had no idea about where he was going with it.

I decided there and then to write some script and a story outline, I thought my original idea was good but his filming today has added another level to it. I do not want it to be a take on a Bugsy Malone theme, using kids for the actors, people will talk.

Gianni was rubbing his thumb on my leg and when I looked at him he was smiling from ear to ear.

"Go on do it Antonio, I know you can do it."

"Do what?"

"Take the filming over." He giggled. He knows exactly what is going on in my head.

"Okay everyone, we have the show tomorrow night so let's get over that first. On Monday there will be no work so I am having a meeting at my home to discuss this movie."

"Antonio, it is all good leave it to us please." leon whined.

"Some things you cannot fix Leon, I am not saying you are out of your depth I am saying you need to have a general meeting of everyone that is involved with this film and get everyone's ideas and input then you go from there. Once you have a story then you break it up into sections, expand each section until you have twelve chapters. Everyone here has fresh ideas and once you have a direction to head in, off you go and film."

"Okay Antonio, I must admit I have been struggling with bits and pieces of a story I have in my head." He smiled.

Those buggers want to know what's in my head I am sure of it.

"Write all your ideas down, Anna, Maxie, Alice, Carlos Gianni all of you write them down and we will look at them."

"Leave me out of it Antonio, but I thought having the babies in it was a cute idea," Alice said.

"Okay but if you do have any ideas just note them down, babies and all."

I guess I had started the conversation because they all began to throw ideas around, I thought Gino's ideas were the best.

"I thought in my head there would be twelve murders on in each episode Antonio, and for comedy, Iris would bring out her loafers in case the killer was caught."

"That bit I get, and yes it is funny so you leave that in."

So we had a start to a sort of story.

"And the killer is the Camorra, namely me?"

"How did you know Antonio, we will have to keep everybody quiet now, no talking Gianni, Iris no telling," Leon said very quickly.

"That was easy Antonio." Gianni laid back and I wiped him up.

"Yes all they need was some organization, I cant understand how they can organize an event in Europe and not one in their very own backyard."

"They are goofballs Antonio, and they also have people to do it for them, they just sign things." he laughed.

"But Antonio, I was not talking about the story, I was talking about you leaving me and your babies."

"What?"

"When you left you said you may never come back."

"I did, I was mad Gianni, do not hold that against me."

"Well, it was easy."

"What was easy?'

"I got you back very easy I am very proud of myself."

"Bloody hell Gianni you are talking in riddles."

"No Antonio, I left you for two days then all I had to do was walk naked on the beach, and just like that, I get you back. I told you I would be able to get you back if you left me."

"Yes you did a long time ago, and yes you got me back so easy, thank you." I kissed him again then there was a tap at the door.

"Are you finished our Gianni?'

"Come in." I sang out then snuggled into my adorable husband.