Impossible Love

Impossible Love 91

I shook myself and started for the cafe, placing my hand on Stavros's shoulder as I passed. I looked at the men and wondered why I had felt so odd when I was alerted to their sudden appearance. Gianni was standing behind the counter with Iris and I walked past to get a bottle of wine and three glasses, Gianni came in and smiled at me.

"What is the matter Antonio?"

"Nothing baby, just an awful feeling of dread came over me. I guess I have been daydreaming and my mind went in a different direction." I tried to smile.

"It's nothing Gianni, just a foolish feeling I can't seem to shake."

"If you want to talk you know where I am, have you finished your blooms?"

"Not yet I was just getting the ladies a drink." I kissed him as I passed, he pulled me in closer and gave me a bigger one. This is normal for him and for a fleeting moment I was back on the banks of a beautiful blue lake with my impossible love again.

I walked out and the men were still there, they were huddled together and I couldn't hear any of their conversations. I glanced at Stavros as I passed and when I got back to the florist shop I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen.

"I think Bianca and I need this one, thank you Antonio,"

"I am sorry I will forge ahead and get this one done, how many to go?"

"Three Antonio, not long."

The babies started to stir so Alice made up a few juices for them to wet their dry mouths.

As they smiled and sucked away I finished the next two arrangements and the wine had done its job. I felt calm and was looking forward to a cuddle from gran and Lukas when we get there.

Just before we rang the delivery man we checked them over once more and they were good to go. I hugged the ladies and the babies and went back to the cafe, the men had gone and Stavros was back. Gianni had a big smile on his face and I couldn't help but think it was forced, not natural. I can always tell when it's natural because it's goofier than the forced one, and he wasn't goofy today. He also wasn't randy anymore because he didn't drag me out the back.

The boys came back and opened more wine, so I sat with them out the front and people watched. They were whining about all the hard work they had to do and I didn't laugh at their antics. It annoyed me a bit, so I sat and kept my mouth shut. Iris came out and had one, sometimes I think her little world is perfect for her, and she did have a few jokes with the boys I was jealous of how simplistic she had made for her life now.

"What is up Antonio?" Leon said.

"Nothing much Leon, just feeling a bit low at the moment. I helped Alice and Bianca make up some arrangements it bought back fond memories of times gone by." I didn't lie it does do that to me.

"Well it is good you have at least done some work today and left the business to us."

"Yes, it is good." I forced a smile, idiots.

We shut up shop and waved to Angelo and Bella then we piled into the car to go see gran and grandad and to collect little Lukas, I was looking forward to that big hug of his.

Everyone was quiet on the way to grans and Gianni kept looking into the rear vision mirror, something he does, but not as often as he did today.

"Are they following us?'

"What do you mean Antonio?"

"The two men, are they following us?"

"You are so funny Antonio," That was all I got and that also confirmed that something was up, who do they think I am.

He pulled into the parking space outside gran's house, the boys ran inside and Gianni and I sat for a few minutes, then he got out of the car and looked around. I got out and almost ran for the front door. I got there just as Lukas opened it and fell into my arms. I kissed him forever and he screamed with delight. Leon and Carlos had another bottle opened when I arrived in the family room and Iris was propped up at the counter with glass in hand, gran hugged me and she lingered, grandad did the same, but Lukas was dragging me outside to see his flowers, it couldn't wait.

The babies followed us out they wanted a look also, so while I was telling my son what a clever boy he was, they played rolling on the grass. I heard a car coming up the laneway that runs behind grans place, Leon came out and opened the big iron gate to let it come onto the property. Stavros was driving he was with one of his card-playing mates.

"What's going on?" I asked Leon.

"Nothing for you to be concerned with Antonio."

"Leon, if I had a fucking cricket bat in my hand I would make that concern your big headache, now again, what is going on?"

"I cannot say Antonio," He walked back into the house and I screamed, upsetting Lukas who was wide-eyed watching me do it.

"It's okay baby, sometimes daddy has to have a good scream and it makes him feel better again." I picked him up he's so light, I worry that he will never put on weight. The babies followed me in and were swooped up by various family members and as I walked past I took Luca from Gianni.

"Grab Gianni and Antonio Iris, we are going home, come with daddy Lukas." I stared at her she didn't move.

"Now Iris, get in the fucking car." She fell off the stool and grabbed two babies and the moaning started, I couldn't calm them I just wanted them in the car so I can get them home, Gianni grabbed my hand.

"Antonio, give us a few minutes and I will drive you home, it is just business Antonio, give me ten minutes." I got in his face and said.

"Not even a fucking nanosecond Gianni, not even a wisp of fresh air will I give you any more."

I turned to go and gran started fussing over the babies.

"If you want to help gran get Lukas into his seat. If you don't then bugger off." I was so furious with them all and I didn't care who I talked badly to.

She didn't say a word, she knows me too well, she has been down this road with me before in a different lifetime.

As I walked out with Iris and the kids I noticed suitcases in the hallway, I didn't care, and I hoped their little game failed, whatever they were playing at.

We got the kids settled and I almost shoved Iris into the front seat, she didn't say a word she knew I was furious. I turned the engine on just as Gianni came up to the driver's side window.

"Antonio, we are finished our business and will talk more later, move over I will drive you home."

I glared at him then put my foot to the floor, I almost hit a dustbin and avoided a parked car in the process but I managed to put us on a straight road towards home, they can get a taxi or go with Stavros.

After a few minutes, Iris asked me what was wrong.

"They are playing games again, and this time it's for real. I don't know how I know or how it started, but something's happening and they don't want to include me. So I am not including them. Let me calm down a bit and I will tell you what I know." I didn't drive home I put a cartoon dvd on for the now calmed down boys and drove straight to the parking lot at the local park. Pulling up I turned the engine off, my rage was still with me so I started taking deep breaths as tears started streaming down my face all the while praying Iris didn't think I was going insane. I opened the car door and asked Iris to join me, I didn't want to scream again and upset the boys. We sat on a nearby bench and I tried so hard to calm down.

"The two men that sat at the tables today while I was in the florist shop, it has something to do with them."

"I saw them Antonio, they looked like they were out of their element a bit, who were they?"

"I don't know, but everyone that saw them does, and that's why I am mad with them."

"Gianni got a call from Stavros but he went out into the car park to talk, I couldn't hear."

"That must have been when Stavros disappeared from his table for a while."

"Sorry Antonio, my hearing isn't what it was nowadays."

"They parked their car in the backyard, I can't even remember when that has ever happened before, there were suitcases in the hallway and I have that dreaded feeling that we are all in danger once again. This danger isn't anything small it is huge, and I am so scared Iris. I don't even want to go home I don't want to be around them with the kids. I have no idea where to go from here, I just know I have to somehow getaway. They will be restless and will miss their papa so much I cant do this to them, they don't deserve it."

I was talking in riddles and also I was running from an evil presence, and that evil was Gianni and his family, but the children, I have to put them first.

"I will drop you off Iris and you go straight to our apartment, please don't go inside yours."

"I am coming with you, you need me." She took my hand.

"I am sorry Iris I cant pull you into this game I have the feeling it's not going to end well."

"My dear friend, you need me, you need my help and you need my comfort so when you are calmed down we will go to the winery, there is plenty of security there."

"Good idea the further away the better." I didn't convince myself.

"And Gianni?"

"He can go to hell Iris, if this stunt places you and the kids in danger then it's his mess, not mine. I have had enough of the secrets Iris I am not trusted to even have an opinion it seems, I am dirt under their feet and I won't live like that."

"I get it Antonio, I have often wondered why you were so happy all the time, but I see there are things that are keeping that from happening at this moment, do you want me to ring Gianni and tell him where we are going?"

"No." we sat there for another half an hour, I looked at my phone and read the many messages, all from Gianni and all didn't have an explanation for the unrest in my family.

"I will need to do a shop Iris they need nappies and bottles."

"I will get the girls to do that and everything will be done by the time we get there."

She pulled out her phone and started texting, I placed my hand over it and told her to wait.

"I can't do this to the babies they will be upset if they wake up with strangers around them. I am sorry Iris but I think bad or good we had better go home. But you still stay close to us all night."

"Wise decision Antonio, if your gut feeling is right you need your family around, if it's not bad then they all need a good ass-kicking and I will be the one to do that." She half-smiled.

The boys had gone to sleep and I turned off the dvd player, we sat in silence for the next ten minutes and all I could hear was the beeping of my phone going off.

I was still furious with him and the last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation over the phone, and I was also so dog-tired by the time we pulled into the car park, I sat there for a further five minutes. Leon and Carlos appeared and started unloading the babies, Iris helped me out of my seat belt and whispered.

"Let's get this over and done with

my friend."

I glared at Leon he blushed because he knew I was bat shit angry with him, so he didn't say a word.

We caught the lift and I cuddled Lukas, he was half asleep still but the others were waking up. The doors opened and I saw Gianni gran and grandad with Stavros sitting at the table. Gianni jumped up and kissed me then took Lukas and grandad went to the couch and the babies were his once again.

Carlos poured us a drink and I skulled the first one then poured a second one, pushing his hand away as he tried to do it.

"I will get your dinner Antonio, you must be famished." Gran started to get up I placed my hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Don't bother yourself gran, just take notice all of you. Leave me fucking alone don't speak to me, and don't try to explain any lies or games to me. The disrespect in this room is sickening, so leave me alone." I walked out to the balcony, I heard muffled talk and Iris came out to join me.

"I told them if it wasn't for the children you would be half up the country by now. Gianni said he understood."

"What does that even mean Iris, what secrets are they withholding from me, the only person that has loved them from the instant I met them, and they treat me like this."

"They have got you all wrong Antonio, maybe they are trying to protect you, or maybe they are protecting themselves, but I aim to find out. Another drink my friend?"

"Yes please my lovely lady and thank you." I sat on the sun lounge and waited for her return the door slid open and Gianni slipped out with my drink and a fresh bottle.

"You may need some more Antonio, I need to talk to you."

"Talk then." I helped myself to another vino.

"They are Camorra Antonio, old mafia, and worse than the mafia. They slip in from out of shadows and will cut your throat and ask no questions. We have no idea why they came to the cafe today and the only reason they were recognized was by their shoes they always wear the same shoes with red heels. We think they are after gran because I rang Roberto after you went back to your blooms, he said his office had been ransacked and a lot of paperwork was taken. Gran's belongings and papers were safe at the village bank, but they took the lists the staff was compiling with all our details on some of them. We want everyone under this roof for the time being so we can watch. Stavros has alerted his eyes, and Menowin has alerted the gypsy that Camorra is in town. They are feared even by the mafia Antonio a very dangerous organization."

"Why the secrecy then?"

"We are trying to limit the fallout for you my beloved." I turned my face towards him and said.

"I asked you to never call me that again, it's so insincere, and I hate it so much."

"I am sorry baby, I have more to tell you but that is for later."

"You are going to tell me that the two men that terrorized Luca were murdered and buried under the fountain in the village by the same man that shot his father in the head at the gypsy camp, it's not the boys that are mafia, it's you, its always been you." He groaned and placed his hand on my shoulder, I shrugged it off when he said.

"You have it all wrong Antonio."

"And the man that assaulted me?" I wasn't listening.

"He touched you, he hurt you, he hurt me but I did not have anything to do with his disappearance." As I said earlier the terror I felt was real and the rage started at my feet and slowly moved up my legs to my pelvis to my bowels to my stomach to my chest until I couldn't take it anymore, I screamed so hard I wanted it to all get out of my body, I wanted to feel normal again, but it didn't happen the way I wanted, it had caused the reverse effect on me.

"And what about me Gianni, when you tire of me you will just throw my bones to a pack of hungry wolves, like I was nothing in your life, well answer me." The shock on his face was real he couldn't speak, so I stood up and leaned on the balustrade and screamed until my lungs hurt so much I nearly fainted. I was furious that this man has turned my life upside down but I was more furious with gran.

"Right." I screamed and walked back into the house, I looked at gran she was in the kitchen warming up some food.

"Your petty secrets and inability to tell anyone the absolute truth, has brought me to this, how bloody dare you. How dare you do this to me, ask her, she knows why they are here, she knows bloody well why. You not only took some personal things from that storage you took something else, something they have come looking for." She was mortified at my words but didn't say anything.

I broke down crying and couldn't move I was anchored to the spot but managed to get Leon and Carlos into my sights.

"Get out of my home, get out and don't come back and take your brother with you and don't ever come back here. If you do I will kill you all and that's a promise you don't want to test."

"Iris keys please." I held my hand out and took her keys then walked out of my home, not knowing if I would ever return to my kids and husband the same as I was yesterday.

I went down to Iris's, then I raided her fridge and grabbed two bottles of wine, closing the door behind me I walked up to the steps and sat with Gino. I was lucky he was by himself but I needed someone's sanity at the moment, I needed to be centred and at that very moment I needed to be loved again.

"What on earth is wrong Antonio?' He rubbed my shoulders with his hand, I fell sideways and started bawling again. It was left alone until I calmed down a bit then I looked him in the eyes and said.

"Remember when our lives were simple, when we would just sit here watching the world go by, there was no one to make our lives complicated. We had ourselves and that was enough for a time."

"Yes Antonio, I often think of those times they were the best, you would come from the club and we would drink vino together, at the market I would throw boxes around and you would work on your blooms, it was very different back then."

"It all changed when the Italians came into our lives Gino, things got better for you things got worse for me."

"They got better Antonio, you have never been so in love and your family loves you also."

"Not at the moment Gino, I want to go back to that time, I need to go back and start again."

"We all wish we could start again Antonio, but it is not possible I am afraid. What has happened please tell me?"

"Games too many lies and games Gino, too much for me to handle and I am sorry but maybe this will be the last you will see of me."

"That's not going to happen Antonio, where do you think you are going?'

"I don't know, maybe I will travel the world and look for a new family."

"You will not leave Gianni or the babies, you couldn't do it I know you wouldn't anyway."

I sipped on the drink and thought about it for a minute, yes he's right I couldn't do it, the babies will miss me probably Gianni but I doubted he would miss me for long.

"Has this anything to do with Stavros telling me to double lock up tonight?"

"Yes, there are some bad men in town who are looking for gran, I don't know what they want but she is in danger, I think she has something they want she's not saying anything and because she is family we are all in danger."

"Who are these people?"

"Camorra."

"Oh fuck."

"Bad?"

"The worst Antonio, you may stay with us tonight if it pleases you, I will talk to Anna and see if we can move into a hotel for a week or so. We don't get in their way Antonio, they are very bad people."

"How do you know?'

"I read about it a lot Antonio, Camorra was not to be played with at all, they behead people at a whim."

"You said was."

"Yes, a long time ago in Italy during the war that was their preferred method of killing Nazi's and they didn't discriminate, Italians that helped them were put to death by this method by them."

"I guess I had better think about moving to another country then."

"They are everywhere."

I didn't say anything else, but I knew if I left the babies with Gianni it would mean I would never see them again. My head was aching by now and I spied Alice walking up the street. I don't want to frighten her but Federico has to be warned they are around. In the end, I figured every family member would have been notified by now. When she sat down I saw Gianni, Iris, and the boys coming around from the alleyway, they were looking for me.

"Is Federico okay Alice?"

"Yes Gianni, he is with Sabine and Tony, I will get a taxi to their place when we are finished here, where is my boys?"

"Upstairs I thought it best they stay there with gran."

"Okay, then I will go and see him, and Gianni?" She looked over at him.

"Yes Alice?"

"Do something about this, he is terrified for you and your babies." She placed her hand on my shoulder.

"He will be all right our Alice, the apartment is safe for now we have to have a meeting to see where we go from here. Maybe Iris's winery will be the best place to go."

"So you don't want to deal with it, you want to run away?" I sarcastically said.

I drank the last of my wine and stood up, swaying a little I looked at Iris and tried to smile.

I walked up the street to her place and opened the front door, then I opened another bottle and sat at her kitchen table, she didn't come with me but she did come in an hour later, she had food and I picked at it through many tears.

"I can't leave him and I can't leave the kids on their own Iris, what am I supposed to do become a mafia wife, sit down and shut up for the rest of my life. Being left in the dark filled with ignorance while they pursue their underworld jobs reigning terror on everyone they dislike?"

"I'm sure it's not that bad Antonio, they joke about it, but I doubt whether they have a bad bone in their bodies."

"He shot his father."

"What?"

"Gianni shot his father, you can't tell anyone Iris, promise me."

"I promise you my friend, what happened?"

"I told her about Basilio's treatment of Gianni and his mother, and I also told her about Sabine's rape. She gasped when I told her that he had kicked Lukas so hard he flew in the air that's when Gianni shot him, point-blank in the head.

"Good." was all she said.

"You can't tell anyone it was all hushed up with the gypsy and police"

"I won't be saying anything Antonio, but I would like you to take a sleeping pill and get some rest please?"

"I will, I am so tired, I feel like I could sleep for a week. Are they moving out?"

"No Antonio, you don't want that, they understand you are upset with them and they will endeavour to fix it, but you were right about something Antonio."

"What?"

"Gran has more secrets than a top-end psychiatrist, when you left she went to her room and brought back a book she had been hiding for many years."

"Bingo," I whispered.

"She said it had a note attached to it saying it was important that she give it to the Camorra before she does anything else. She was too scared to do that, so she put it away for safekeeping."

"She has a book belonging to them?"

"It's just not a book Antonio, your grandad had never seen it before, but he read through it. It is a list of seventy-five elite family names that we're helping the resistance in Italy to overthrow the Nazis. The book must be returned to them with no consequences otherwise that's it, all over. Now they know she exists they will wipe every member of her family off the face of the earth to get to it." I suppose it had to be returned otherwise many family's would have suffered after the war by the Nazis if they were found aiding the resistance, and I do not believe they don't exist today they hide in the shadows, waiting for revenge.

"Grandad said the book was compiled by the Nazi's they were planning to destroy the families.

"Once again gran is involved, what a complete and utter surprise." I threw my arms in the air.

I had one more drink, went to the toilet I kissed Iris and took a pill. I was tucked up in her bed, and she placed her arm over my shoulder while I went to sleep, her perfume was nice and sweet.

I slept like a baby and when I woke Iris had breakfast already waiting, I was famished because I hadn't eaten at all yesterday.

"They are waiting for you Antonio, I told them you were still sleeping."

"Thank you, are you going to work today?"

"Yes I will walk, I don't know about Gianni he didn't say." She ran her hand through my hair.

"Whatever you do from here in Antonio, know that I am your friend and I will move heaven and earth to try and make everything right again, you are too precious to me and I don't like to see you like this."

"You are a very special friend Iris thank you."

"You are most welcome."

"I have something to do today so I won't be in until later."

"That's fine Antonio, please do me a favour though, keep off the wine it messes with your head and you need a clear mind."

"I will, I promise." then I made a phone call.

I walked with her and we caught the lift upstairs, Gianni was the first to grab me he wouldn't let me go, and the babies were over excited to see me, especially my Lukas. I looked at gran and dropped my head I couldn't deal with her at the moment, but she looked like she hadn't slept a wink all night.

"Antonio, please stay with me today, I need you by my side." He had pulled me out onto the balcony.

"No Gianni, you don't need me at all, but I need you to do something for me."

"Anything Antonio."

"Get that book back to them, they will come to the cafe again maybe not today but soon they will. It would go well for you to remember you have four babies to look after and they won't try anything at the market, I am certain of that. So take the book with you and shove it into their hands, make a deal." I stared at the boys.

"Yes Antonio, we know nothing of where they are or what they are planning, I pray they do come to the market and we can finish old business," Leon said, fucking pussy.

"Be careful and there's something else."

"What my love?"

"I want to take the babies on a holiday, Brent and Conner have a beach house down on the peninsula I have borrowed for a week. I want to make sure they are safe and away from all this mess. The security there is good and Conner said he will make sure there are men there to watch over us."

"Please do that Antonio, I do not want them placed in any danger, or you, my love."

"What happens after that I don't know, I love you Gianni, but I love the babies more. I want to tell you that it's all over between us, I can't live like this anymore but I also want to tell you that I can't leave the babies, if you and your brothers insist on staying here I will maybe move into Iris's apartment so I can see our babies every day."

"Antonio, there is no need to be that dramatic, we will be okay we will survive this I promise you."

"You might, but I won't Gianni, our Impossible love is finished never to return. I can't do it anymore, you should have trusted me you should have told me, but take notice, Gianni. I am more furious with gran for keeping her secrets and I don't want to be around her anymore, more than I don't want to be around your brothers or you."

"Antonio, so much silliness in your head she only thought she was doing the right thing, she did not know the book was important, she was too young."

"I get it Gianni, but what other secrets are hiding under her veil, how many secrets are hiding in your heart. I don't know because you never tell me, so I do not know you at all." I walked into the big room and said.

"Iris I will see you this afternoon."

Slowly I walked around to Conners place I have to get the address and keys off them. They offered one of their vans for me to use and I wanted to talk to Brent face to face.

"You will let him back in Antonio, he is your soul mate it may take some time though. It took me four months to even talk to Conner after my abduction and I had to force myself to do that. I know if I didn't my heart would turn to stone and I would not be able to come back again. Please when you are down there take some time for yourself, you are not a bad person you just get in the way of their games, or non-games as it turns out. He loves you to death the kids love you please think about what you have and what you are about to lose."

"I will Brent, I am more scared for the kids at the moment, Gianni can go to hell."

"I felt the same Antonio, but it was Conner that brought me back to life. He took his time, but eventually, I found that little bit of extra strength then he took over, he saved me, he healed me."

"It must have been so bad for you back then my friend."

"It was so hard, I virtually lived on the streets for a few months I couldn't sleep eat, or even think straight back then, but Conner saved me. When you hear all the nastiness about him remember what I am saying to you our friend, he isn't that crazy man, he is a God in my eyes."

I drove to the market in the grandfather's van, they were so generous to us I didn't know how to repay them, I had figured that I will take Gianni's van because it had the extra two baby seats and leave him with the grandfathers one. Parking was one of the hardest things to do I sat in the van for ages until I gathered up my strength. I tried to place a smile on my face but it didn't work it was fake. Then I walked into the market to make plans with Gianni.

As I strolled into the cafe he was standing with Iris behind the counter, I went out the back to use the toilet the boys were at it again, having a glass of wine and chatting amongst themselves. I didn't acknowledge them much, just grunted as I walked by and when I came out Carlos said.

"We are so sorry Antonio, please sit and talk to us. We love you so much Antonio our hearts are breaking."

"Let them break and now you can go, I want to talk to Gianni in private."

"But Antonio."

"Go." I got in Leon's face and yelled, they scrambled and took their bottle out the front, that will teach them not to ignore me so easily.

"Gianni can I see you for a minute?"

"Yes Antonio," He came in and grabbed me, he started kissing my neck and any other exposed skin he could find, I wasn't in the mood so I pushed him off me.

"I have borrowed Conners grandfather's van, can you use that one and I will take yours because it has the baby's seats in it. These are the keys and this is the address of where we will be, when it's all over please come down and spend some time with them?"

"Yes Antonio of course I can, and I will be with you shortly, the book is here just in case they come back. I don't know what else to do. I know you do because you always know what to do, but alas I am on my own this time." His head dropped, and no I don't feel sorry for you Gianni, not in the least.

"Where is the book?"

"Stavros has it Antonio, gran and grandpa have gone home to secure their house more. She is very upset Antonio maybe you can call her."

"No not yet, she hasn't suffered enough, she has destroyed my family and I will never forgive her so easily."

I walked back into the cafe and talked to Iris for a minute, Stavros ran in and grabbed Gianni, people were running everywhere.

"Gianni, they are coming up the road heading this way." I didn't react but said as I dropped my shoulders.

"Stavros give the book to me." I had no idea what I was doing, but instinct took over and I knew I had to have the book.

He stood and stared for a bit then he ran off to get it.

My phone rang.

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