Impossible Love

Impossible Love 76

Maxielus

A very cute handsome young man stood in front of me while I checked him out, he still has trouble with his clothes so I have to choose for him, he knows I know what he likes the best. Today gran has tears in her eyes and Gianni was fussing around the apartment, he had put his dress pants on and a freshly ironed white shirt but he still looked like a Gypsy prince because he wore his black braces to hold his pants up and his green scarf around his neck, he shouldn't do that in front of me, I felt like I was going to jump him all morning.

Lukas was starting kindergarten today and was so excited he looked like he could burst with expectation. Alice arrived and she also had tears, she was going to lose her best mate for three hours but when Gianni and I pick him up we will take him into the cafe.

Gran licked her hands and pushed back his wayward curl, she thinks her spit will keep it there, I didn't have the heart to tell her I already had done that twice.

A new backpack and a lunch box full of goodies had been packed, his play lunch, plus some biscuits for his new mates to share.

He is starting with three three-hour days a week then it will change to four hours until he's doing four days at four hours, I think that's how it all works for the kids.

The little ones who are running around now we're making sure he had everything and in between crying because they will miss him and kissing him, they were just as excited as us. I don't know how much they understand but I and Lukas had explained it to them several times. I felt sorry for them they wanted to go with him and cried their little hearts out because they couldn't be there, they will start in a year or two and they will have Sam with them which will be good, all Lukas will have is himself and some kids he had met and hung with at the Italian club and the market.

I felt Gianni's kiss on my neck.

"Are you worried?"

"Oh god yes, what if they don't like him?" He laughed.

"You are so funny Antonio, I love you so much."

The boys picked him up and stood him on the table, then they checked out every inch of him, they even got the hair gel and tamed that curl much to grans dismay.

"Now our nephew, you start your new life at kindy today what are you going to do first?"

"Uncle Leon, I am going to round them up and tell them I am the Padrino of the school and they are to give me no crap because I have gangs."

"What!! Sabine screamed.

"What have you two been telling him?" She stood over them, well she tried.

"Just making sure he's not bullied mama, it happened to Carlos but we fixed it up very quickly." He grinned then he kissed Carlos.

"That never happened Leon." She almost screamed.

"It did mama we didn't tell you that's all."

"Wheres my belt, its time you both got that spanking." That was the magic word all three toddlers ran screaming to their bedroom the tears came as they ran away.

"You had better go and calm them down dear mother-in-law, tut tut naughty scary nona." I waved my finger.

"Oh shit." she left to calm the kids down. I grabbed Lukas and took him to the sofa, then I slipped a five-dollar note in his pocket.

"Just in case you need some money." He winked at me.

I kissed him, hugged him, bawled my eyes out, and nearly took him home again. Gianni walked out the front in tears and Lukas teacher took his hand and led him into a room full of screaming little kids. Three ran over to him and dragged him across the room play ball, Gianni came back all red-eyed and we kissed him again then left the kindy.

"I will drop you off then come back."

"You will drive me to work and stay there until pick up time. If anything goes wrong they will ring."

"But he might need his papa."

"He won't even know your gone."

"What did you tell Leon and Carlos?"

"I told them he would be upset if he saw them leave him there, they had better run to work and we will take the abuse for them." I chuckled.

I didn't want everyone coming with us he may get upset and smell a rat, maybe think we are all dumping him. I have to admit, a brick had appeared in my tummy and I missed him already, badly.

Alice Sabine and Iris had walked the little ones to the market, it was a lovely day and when they saw us the babies also started looking for Lukas, before their bottom lips dropped. I said to them they were missing their cartoons, and they scooted off into the flower shop to turn their programs on. Alice had a sandwich for each of them so they sat quietly while I went about doing my chores.

I expected it but not so soon in the day, the boys had opened a wine and sat with Gianni out the back all three were moaning and crying for Lukas, why do they always think the worst.

"Come on lovely coffee time, I don't think we are going to get any work out of these three today." I looked at Iris she smiled and I knew she was just as upset, Lukas was a big part of our everyday lives, and not to have him around is like chopping off an arm for everyone.

Gran and grandad arrived an hour later and sat with Stavros and his men, they played cards, looked at their watches, and generally talked about business and the weather, avoiding the elephant in the room, one missing little boy. But they did smile when they heard the other three singing along to a tune, they must be watching a kid's sing-along show. The only thing missing was Lukas's voice, but they did a good job at keeping up with the song. Alice moved over to the table and took my hand.

"It's only kindy, Alice, he won't have any trouble and he will be having a great time with the other kids, he needs them in his life."

Sabine joined us and asked if there was any word, I said no, she wanted me to ring the kindy and I said no again. She got frustrated and went to find her boys hopefully Gianni has enough sense to say no also.

Angelo was watching us then he couldn't help himself, he came over with coffee in hand. I didn't realize he was also a little sad because someone was missing. I didn't follow them into the rabbit hole of depression I held firm and that brick thumped away on its own.

Over winter a few things happened to the boys, the little ones started walking just like their older brother did, they didn't do much crawling they preferred to walk, now they are running everywhere, so much to do so little time.

Lukas had taken to escaping and we would always find him over at Remo's little shop talking his head off to him, mainly about sauces and how many can he take next week, he was already doing business. He would escape, Remo would message me, and I would leave it twenty minutes, and either Alice, Gianni, or I would go pick him up. We had no worries about him because the market wasn't busy and every one of the stallholders kept an eye on him like they do with all the rogue kids that frequently play in the market.

Two and a half hours and my excitement was building, Gianni had imbibed in too much wine and his eyes were red raw so I had a word with him.

"I will go and pick him up baby, you certainly can't drive in your state."

"I am his papa I must insist I be the one to pick him up."

"Okay, but I will drive."

"If you want Antonio, but be very careful with our Lukas in the car."

"I will baby, I will take it nice and slow."

"I like nice and slow Antonio."

"No, not now Gianni, we have fifteen minutes until pickup time."

"I will go and wash then."

"No more wine please, the teachers will think you are a drunk and maybe will ban you from the school."

"Oh I never think of that Antonio, thank you."

Grandad came over and looked at his watch just as Gianni went to go out the back.

"It's time Antonio do you want us to go?"

"No thank you, grandad I will go it will only take twenty minutes." I smiled he placed his hands on his hips and stared at me, I looked over at Stavros's table they were all staring at me, Sabine and Alice were standing in their shop doorways and staring at me, even Iris from the wine counter stared. I threw my arms in the air and screamed.

"I will be twenty minutes, and you lot go back to work." This has been the longest three hours I have ever endured in my life.

I picked my cup up and walked out the back, Leon and Carlos were in a mess, another bottle had been opened and Gianni was about to take a sip.

"Put that down Gianni, what will people think of Lukas's papa arriving drunk to pick him up, you know how people talk around here."

"Sorry Antonio."

"Come on." I urged him.

"Boys dump that wine and get to work." I am starting to sound like gran every day, something I didn't mind, but so early in my life, it's uncanny.

I drove carefully to the school and was trying hard to stay at the speed limit, it was another long moment and seemed to take ages to get there.

No kids outside yet, so I found a parking spot and as soon as I put the hand-break on I heard the soft ringing and within seconds there was screaming coming from the two exits. I unbelted and opened the door but Gianni was faster and already over by the gate, little kids were being hugged and kissed by mums and dads, I guess their day was long also.

He came strolling out with his backpack over his shoulders, my tears arrived not long after I got a squeeze hug and kiss from him, he was placed on Gianni's shoulders for the short walk back to the van. His chatter started almost immediately and I took my time to drive away because I wanted to listen to how his day went. Gianni had got into the back with him and was asking all sorts of questions. He played ball, then he did some painting, some numbers then he played again, then he had his play lunch. He had a wondrous time and found a lot of mates to play with, only one little girl wouldn't stop crying and her mummy picked her up early.

How are his brothers are they behaving, did they have a good morning. The questions were answered by both of us. I flipped the van into gear and started for the market.

He was almost the first one out of the car and left us in his wake, he needed to see if his brothers were okay first and foremost.

When we got to the florist shop it was full, everyone wanted to see him. I left him with the babies and went to get another coffee, what a day, and I have to go through it all over again tomorrow. Gran was so happy and Alice had the biggest smile on her face, the three kids bawled their eyes out when they saw him, they had missed him the most.

I found a seat and sipped my coffee, if I had smoked I would have lit up and I was feeling so much better now my brick had disappeared.

"Nona!." I heard him scream when gran finally caught up. He was sitting on her hip in no time, then I watched him struggle down and run into the market.

"Remo, I am here." I guess he's going to check the daily sales of his and grans sauces, I watched him run up the aisle and he was greeted by just about everyone.

The little ones started following him and when Alice stopped them they started their idea of cursing at her.

"Okay okay, behave yourselves and go straight to Remo's." They ran off screaming after their brother. They will be fine because Gianni and the boys followed. There will always be bodyguards around them especially here, when Lukas started disappearing we had a word with Nina and she circulated a flyer for all stallholders to keep their eyes on the kids and they were to make sure they got to their destination unhurt. It was just Remo's stall or they would go and say hello to Federico for a while then come back. It was when they sat at one of Angelos tables I laughed my guts out, they had taken to ordering frothy baby chinos and biscuits, he always had grans unsweetened ones on offer for them.

Growing up, they were growing up so fast, and yes when one got upset the others followed suit, if one felt sick they all felt sick when one got a present they all got one. I took a deep breath and went to look for my husband, I have some unfinished business with him and I can't hold off much longer. He was sitting with the boys again and the moaning was back.

"But he can't go tomorrow Gianni, he has already been to school he doesn't have to go again." I like their logic.

"He must go he must get an education so he can grow up to be like his uncles." Good one Gianni, they clinked glasses and puffed up.

"Hey big boy, did you forget me?'

"No Antonio, how could this humble gypsy ever forget you?"

"Well I'm desperately in need, come on." I winked. He was in that bathroom like a shot and his pants were down around his ankles before I could even get on my knees.

More singing coming from the florist shop and this time Lukas was in the mix, there was laughing, some screaming and I felt alive again when I turned out the lights and picked the boys up to go home.

"How many did Remo sell Lukas?"

"Lots daddy, I have to go to nona's tomorrow to make some more."

"Tomorrow you go to kindy again baby, maybe the day after."

"Okay daddy, just thinking he might runs out."

"He won't, maybe you can ring gran tonight and tell her, she may have some spares to take to him."

"Okay but I likes making sauces."

"The day after tomorrow you will be very busy."

"Can my brothers come?"

"Ask gran, see if she has room." He laughed his head off and answered.

"Always room at nona's house daddy, lots and lots."

I know gran had started a few pots for the little ones, but they are more interested in her tv and grandad nowadays, so I think their plants are a little neglected.

"Sam Sam," They jumped up and down outside the lift. I poked my head around the corner and sure enough there he was with Anna waiting for the boys to get home. He screamed up the street and they fell into each other's arms, he is coming for a play hour and we will bring him down with us when we go to have a wine.

"Did you have a good day Sam?" his head went up and down like crazy.

"Did you help mummy with the cheeses?" Again I got the same response, sometimes Anna brings him to the market and they play in the flower shop but mostly he likes to sit with his daddy and play with the stamp pad and paper. He's a wonderful little boy the image of his papa, and he adores Gino, he even looks at him like he is the best thing in the world. Gino is so proud of his little boy he's always playing with him out in the carpark, and when my boys join in all I can hear from upstairs is screaming. I will never forget the day all four of them disappeared, they had worked out if they go to the first wine bar the guy waiting the tables out the front will make them baby cinos and they can sit in the sun. I had to have a word to them and handed over my phone number so they can ring me, but after that day we kept an eye on them constantly. Boys will be boys but almost two-year-olds are just plain stubborn. When Gianni and I had a talk to them about leaving the property they argued back that they can do anything they like grandpa said so, in their baby babble that is, but it's getting better.

I unpacked Lukas's backpack and his biscuits were all gone, a half a sandwich, the fruit hadn't been touched, pretty normal for a kid.

"Did you share baby?"

"Yes daddy they want more tomorrow." He grinned and I said.

"No problem more it is then." I chuckled, I like being a dad it suits me.

We grabbed the wine and glasses and before I had even said anything the boys were all lined up at the lift, they can't use it because the key to turn it on is up high so they wait.

When we all crammed in, it was a rush to push the button, we had to let them take it in turns otherwise we would have a riot on our hands.

Gone, they were gone as soon as the doors opened and when I turned the corner Iris was there watching them run up to the steps. They all had their own cushions but mainly sat on anyone's knees, Lukas grabbed Alices and the babies grabbed Maxie Tommaso and Gianni's laps, they all get a very small sip of wine, then a biscuit each. Sam, of course, sat with his daddy, they are always in secret talks he whispers in Sam's ear and Sam does the same with Gino, then they giggle.

"How did he go at kindy Antonio?" Maxie asked.

"Good I think, he's happy enough to be there and looking forward to tomorrow."

"Good, I was worried he may get bullied." He smiled.

"Never, he's mafia," I answered.

The kids were doing very well with their enterprise, the cheese especially was flying out the door, Iris constantly smiled and our winery was pumping out more wine every week than it did in a year before, money was coming in from everywhere and grandad was working on my books constantly because he likes to keep up with what I have, and it keeps him busy.

I leave it all up to him, money isn't my life, Gianni and the boys are, and as long as they are happy so am I.

The four kids started playing ball on the wide pavement, we had to watch them because traffic is constant this time of the evening. I much preferred the carpark out the back for them to play in, Gianni had fenced it in, the only inconvenience we had was to unlock it every-time we came and left, Gianni got sick of that and installed an electronic gate then gave everyone an opener.

Our iris's wine show has soared into the twenty-first century and surprise surprise she has another one coming up soon, her special guest apart from Gianni will be finally Rick Conners. I had to ring Brent and tell him to warn Conner that the boys will try to get to him so he should be aware. It had settled down a tiny bit the last few times and the boys did try to hijack the half-hour show but Iris held firm, they were relegated to being production staff, she even prerecorded her five-minute spot before she let the Cartasso boys loose on her public.

I have to admit the whole show is a riot and I look forward to it every time it's on.

"What are you thinking about our Antonio?" Leon said.

"The next radio show, I am looking forward to it." I smiled.

"Well we have a few questions for that Rick Conners up our shirt sleeves you can bet on that."

"Be kind boys, he's a megastar and has an image to keep up." Iris almost pleaded with them.

"It is all very good our Iris, leave it up to us."

"It's still my show Leon, and don't forget you are just production staff." She reminded him.

"Yes we know that our Iris, and it is a very good show now we get to speak."

"You don't speak you yell and be silly."

"We get more comments," Carlos said.

"I'll give you that one." Poor Iris I hope she's not regretting going over to the dark side. I looked at my son Lukas and was gladdened in my heart he has sided with me. I think the turning point was them trying to steal his money, they will never do that again, he never forgot it.

It was just a nice night once again on the steps, the weather is better, and although we were still wearing warm clothes I couldn't wait for the shorts and tank tops to reappear.

I allow Lukas to stay up for another half hour after we put the littles to bed, it takes them ages to settle down and go to sleep and that disturbs Lukas. I want to move him into his very own room but Gianni thinks he will get lonely, and when the boys discovered they could escape their cots we sometimes find them cuddled up to him in his bed. I have to watch because if he's looking tired during the day I will put a stop to it, but no signs as yet.

Gran was onboard in the morning and she already had two kids running around, Lukas was in front of the tv with grandad when I came out and Luca was sitting on the kitchen bench and she was talking Italian to him, I could hear the other two running around in their bedroom, they must be playing some games.

"Good morning gran, how did you sleep?'

"Really good Antonio, I sleep better nowadays and my new heart helps." She didn't get a new heart she got a stent, but her version sounds okay also. I leaned over the bench and hugged Luca good morning.

"Daddy love you." I gave him a kiss and a lump appeared in my throat.

"I love you too baby, did you have a big sleep?"

"Uh huh, daddy, big big." His eyes were perfect as they looked deeply into mine then he giggled and fell into my shoulder. Some more words, I think Lukas is teaching them and as I looked up gran was smiling at me.

"Get the kids up and Iris if she's up to it grandson, we are nearly ready."

"Done." I sent messages and let Luca push send and within five minutes everyone was here again.

Gianni placed his arms around me and kissed my neck then he whisked Luca away for a cuddle. He started laughing when Gianni began his fart kissing.

"Poppy poppy dont...again?" He didn't mean that he wanted his papa not to tease him, it's a game they play.

"Have you got fresh clothes out for Lucas Antonio?" He said.

"Yes there is a pile on his bed to sort through, we got plenty of time."

Iris appeared just as the kids did, I hugged her and she went to the balcony to see the boys. They handed her a piece of paper and told her they will be happy if she stuck to the script.

She turned around and looked at me then did a strangulation move with her hands.

"Nothing to do with me Iris, they are your staff."

"Help." she mouthed.

"Oh now you want my help, well I will think about it." I took her list and started reading it, the questions were all about Carlos and what a great entertainer he was, and would Iris like him to play for her. There was nothing on Rick Conners, they are up to something.

"No questions for Conner?"

"I saw that, I had better write some down." When she said that Carlos walked by and stopped.

"You had better run that by your floor manager our Iris, don't be changing our format please." He kissed my cheek I smelt his aftershave and thought about Gianni. I looked at him playing with the kids and instantly I wanted a shower.

It's the only place that's quiet at home, and we aren't disturbed but just as I was about to coax him the food was on the table, so I miss out again for the next half hour or so.

The food was wonderful as usual and gran looked so much better nowadays she's even managed to lose a few pounds. She called everyone to the table and it was first in best dressed.

Something good came of the three colorful cars the boys had bought us for the babies. Grandad had made three wooden trays and attached them to the cars so the littlies can sit and eat in them, no high chairs needed. They babbled away at each other and when grandad sat down near them they talked to him.

"What do you feel like baby?"

"Eggs daddy, just eggs no toast grazie papa."

"No problem."

I dished him up some, he wanted tomato sauce on top so I gladly did that for him, if I let him do it himself he makes a mess and takes too much. I then checked that grandad had put some out for the kids, they happily picked it up and filled their mouths, no spoons today and maybe a good clean up before the market for them, and my floors.

"How many did Remo sell yesterday Lukas?"

"Five nona, he need five more, have we got five?"

"Yes chef, five it is and then we will make more tomorrow. How much is five again?"

He held his fingers up and she counted them.

"Can my brothers come nona?"

"Of course they can, they can play in the garden."

"Be careful what you wish for gran, remember the last time you let them loose in your garden they nearly destroyed it." I reminded her.

"Such nonsense Antonio, they are special angels and this old nona doesn't mind."

"Oh, sorry."

"That's better." She cleared he throat.

"Antonio, we must have a meeting sometime today." Gianni placed his hand on mine.

"Tell me now."

"No, we must have a Cartasso meeting it's private."

"You tried that one yesterday Gianni, what's it about?"

"Something." He grinned.

"I vote yes so I don't have to attend."

"That's not the way it works Antonio."

"Well I have streamlined your meetings and a yes from me is sufficient."

"Oh."

Not happening again today, I know what he's trying to do, he's trying to distract my mind from thinking about the radio show, I still had Iris's list of questions in my hand.

I leaned in and whispered to him.

"We will discuss it in the shower."

"Hurry up, we will be late getting our Lukas to school and I need a shower also I am a very dirty father this morning." He started scoffing his food down and before I had even placed the third spoonful of eggs in my mouth, Lukas was over by the tv, and I was pushed towards the bathroom.

The water was heavenly and his slippery hands were most welcome, especially when he did my private parts.

He wouldn't let anyone dress him but me, although they all tried, he sat quietly on his bed and waited while I picked out a great little outfit for him to wear.

"Is that one all right daddy?"

"Yes son, it's beautiful and it suits you the best."

"Thank you daddy."

"Daddy?"

"Yes son."

"I heard something."

"What did you hear?"

"They are trying to get you to go on the radio I think, that's all I heard."

"Are they, well I may give them their wish and appear then."

He laughed and we hugged and I kissed him.

Leaving him at the kindy wasn't as stressful as yesterday, he almost had to tell us to go to work because he had lots of things to do with his mates.

"That went well, husband."

"Yes it did Antonio, but I still miss him. I feel like he wants to divorce us or something."

"Think about it Gianni he hasn't any friends where he lives except adults, and at the market, he's watched all the time he may be a little sick of it. I think our son is going to be a leader, I think he's going to have loads of friends but he will do all that on his own."

"I hear you Antonio, but it still hurts."

"You're remembering things arent you?"

He pulled into the carpark at work and turned the van off.

"Yes Antonio, he was all I had back in Italy, he was a gift to behold for me. Until you came along I had no one except my brothers and I used to talk to Lukas for hours when we were by ourselves."

"He was just the right thing for you at the time, but unfortunately he can't stay that way forever."

"I know it's just that it is sad, my little bambino is no longer."

"Gianni you have three others to cuddle now."

"Yes, but they will also grow fast and become men."

"They will be awesome men baby, let's just get over the transition and watch them grow."

"Yes I love you and I love our sons Antonio."

I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss that will get a rise out of him.

The heaters had been turned off for another six months and the market is alive and kicking early again. People everywhere and smiling faces all around.

I unloaded the van and then placed cartons next to fridges for Gianni to unpack, then I checked the cakes and refilled them. The coffee was brewing and I will have one soon but I have to sweep the shop out first. I looked up and saw two men and two ladies walk through to our cafe, they were carrying three kids who wanted to get down and run around. While Alice opened the flower shop the kids went to greet their papa, he almost cried into their jumpsuits, and that emotional husband of mine couldn't stop kissing them.

"Did you have a good walk boys?" I asked them when I finally got them.

"Yes daddy, Lukas?'

"At school baby, he will be three hours and then he comes here again."

"Oh."

I wanted to take them to the kindy with us to pick Lukas up so they can see what we are all talking about, maybe show them around a little if I can. That way they can relate to where he is when we talk about him.

Alice called them into the shop and they screamed and ran the other way, so we spent the next ten minutes rounding them up. I was standing at Remo's counter asking him if he had seen them when I heard them giggling.

"No Mr.Antonio, I haven't seen three babies today." He winked.

"Well when you do see them tell them they are missing their cartoons." All of a sudden three rascals ran out of Remo's shop and headed Alice's way.

"I believe you need five sauces today kiddo, Lukas is counting and relaying the information to gran."

"I need twenty Antonio, I just got off the phone to her, she will drop them off later. I got busy after Lukas left." He giggled.

"How is business any dramas?"

"No, I did a good trade during winter, and now I have dad looking for a nice house for us all, I think I am about ready to start investing."

"All right if you need any help just ask me."

"Gran has already offered Antonio, and Stavros its all a bit overwhelming at the moment,"

"I think it's a good idea, Remo, get into the housing market as soon as possible, just get your foot in the door it doesn't matter what you buy, a flat, house or a warehouse it is something for the future." I have no doubt he will get something and I know he's not going to stop at one.

I walked back towards the cafe and heard singing when I approached, Alice's voice was in the mix today, I guess she would know all the words by now.

I made coffee winked at Angelo who was serving a customer then sat out the front. Sabine was in again today and when she spotted me she ordered coffee and sat down.

"They are having fun today Antonio, it warms me that they are singing."

"They may start up a pop band Sabine."

"I will get Leon onto it." She laughed so much she nearly fell off her chair.