Impossible Love

Impossible Love 5

Stavros came by to talk to me, he's the other florist in the market. His stall isn't a stall as such, he has the biggest lock-up shop at the market, the shops surround the outer market and they are large but also he has a cooler. I don't think he's in it for the money nowadays because like Gino he's always sitting outside talking to his friends or playing cards, he's been here for years. He couldn't come at a better time, he wants to retire and wanted to know if I would like to take over his shop. He was giving it to me on a silver platter and said he would come with me to the manager's office to make sure I get the contract for it. I had a good think about it and decided to go for it, I could do with a change in scenery anyway, this Gino thing has done my head in, so it's time for a bigger change. I asked Pat to keep her eye on my stall and followed Stavros to his shop.

"There's not much stock Antonio, but the cool room will come in handy for you, it's old but still good so you can have that and what's left of the ribbons and paper as well as the buckets."

"Thank you Stavros, I think I will move here, it's more central and a bigger space, what's the rent like?'

"You leave that to me."

I didn't know what he meant until we met again at lunchtime to go to the manager's office. He was pleased to see us both and Stavros told him what was happening, he was to ask two hundred and fifty dollars a week rent plus outgoings like electricity and water. I stared because that's what I almost pay now, Stavros shop was worth twice that and it has air conditioning and heating.

"Okay, when do you want to move in Antonio?"

"Tuesday, can I come on Tuesday and move my things across?"

"That okay with you dad?"

"What?" I screamed.

"What, what?" Stavros asked.

"Dad?"

"Yes Antonio, Jimmy's my son, keep it under your hat will you, not many people know I own the market." He grinned.

"Thank you, I can't thank you enough Stavros, I'm speechless."

"Say hello to your grandad for me." He patted my shoulder and laughed as he walked out before Jimmy handed me a set of keys and said good luck, then he started to chuckle too.

I guess he knows my grandparents, they have lived in the area for years and the community is close-knit, although I don't remember Stavros ever coming to our house, but I do remember seeing him and his son around when we went to the Italian club or shopping sometimes. I guess it's something else I have to have a word with grandad about. I had taken too much time so I ran back to the stall to relieve Pat, Gino will be mad by now but I don't care. She was happily serving a customer when I arrived and the fruit and veggie stall wasn't busy, thank god. I offered to take over but she shooed me away and told me I needed to do more lilies, so I went to the cooler to get some. Gino blocked the door, and he looked furious.

"I have missed out on having lunch with Maria now, thanks to you." "I couldn't help it Gino, I got stuck in the manager's office."

"Well a thank you for looking after your stupid business would go a long way." He was almost shouting and was like a bear with a sore head. I saw red because I have helped on his stall more than he has helped me over the past year, so I let him have it, and I didn't care.

"And you didn't even have the manners to thank me for the head jobs and you dare knock on my door drunk as a skunk wanting one, anymore of that and I will throw you down the staircase myself. So shove your help, shove your shop, shove your dick up your ass, and don't talk to me ever again." I was ropeable, and wanted to smash his face in. He went scarlet and I could see he was dying to punch me.

"Come on mate, just throw one punch, do it, do it," I yelled.

"No, well why am I not surprised, you spineless wimp, she's using you for the last time, she's fucking using you. And I don't care, but you certainly will never use me again." I pushed past him and went back to a wide-eyed gaping mouthed Pat. Lucky there weren't a lot of customers around and I could see she wanted to ask a million questions, but Gino was glaring at me before his attention went to her.

"Come on, you have work to do."

She grabbed my hand as she passed by re-assuring me that the question will be answered as soon as Gino leaves.

He left after he got a phone call, he took his apron off and headed for the food hall. Pat rushed back and smiled at me.

"Is what I heard true?" I nodded yes.

"You blew him?" I nodded yes again.

She cleared her throat, she wanted details.

"Large, hairy, thick and awesome, straight, a real prick, a deadhead and others I can't mention because you're a lady."

"My God, what happened?"

"I blew him a few times when we were both drunk, he left immediately after and didn't even thank me, he wouldn't let me touch him. I'm not the only one that has done that for him. He's an ungrateful, childish animal and he deserves Maria and everything she brings with her."

"Oh Ant, I'm so sorry it turned sour for you." She rubbed my arm and I was still shaking, and I was oblivious to the hundreds of tears that were running down my cheeks.

She steered me to the back and produced a tissue and helped me clean up, then she made a coffee.

"When he comes back I'll go and get you some lunch Ant, try not to overthink it, shit happens."

"I did overthink it Pat, I have thought of nothing but what was happening, it's driven me crazy."

"I'm sure it has, now baby, go and fill those buckets. I have to get back, it looks like we are busy again, it's okay, no one heard you except me."

"Thank you, Pat."

"And the rest of the market," she had to go and say over her shoulder.

As I stood behind my counter I started doing some sums. The new shop will be bigger and the displays I can do for the windows will be amazing, apart from this Gino shit I was getting excited again and I did think about offering Pat a job with me. I have to work out if she was good enough to make her wages because she will work full time. In the end, I thought it was petty to try and steal one of Gino's staff members, so I will leave it for now. He came back with Maria in tow, they looked like they were arguing, and true to his recent form he turned to her and screamed,

"No, it's never going to happen!!" She stormed off in an awful rage.

He slammed his fist on some fruit then walked back into the cooler to start replenishing his stock. He didn't look at me for the rest of the day and I know he wanted to talk to me, but I wasn't going to have any part of it.

After locking up he didn't offer me a ride, but I would have refused anyway. I walked home as I said before, a walk and a good think clears my head. It was a nice afternoon and I was looking forward to ringing my Nan and finding out how well they knew Stavros.

Gino was sitting out the front and by the look of him, he was planning to get drunk because when he saw me coming he skulled his drink, and by the time I got there he had refilled it to the brim. I didn't say anything, I wanted to go inside and shut myself away. In future I will use the fire escape, however sometimes that isn't always ideal and I do own my place, also I shouldn't be scared of going into my building.

I closed the door behind me and headed for the phone.

"Nan, how are you both?"

"Good Antonio, we hear you had a big day today." I could hear grandad chuckle in the background.

"Okay, tell me what you know before I burst."

"I'll let your grandfather tell you if you don't mind, he knows more than me." She passed the phone over and I heard grandad clear his throat.

"Hello?"

"Don't hello me grandad, what do you know that I don't?"

"We heard you are shifting grandson. I think it will be a good move for you after your blatant display of sex talk today."

"What!!?" "We have eyes everywhere son, are you going to like your new shop?"

"How do you know Stavros, and how do you even know about my meltdown?"

He cleared his throat again and I could hear grandma giggling in the background.

"Stavros is an old business partner Antonio. You don't need to know all that stuff, it's business. And as I said, we have eyes watching you at the market and we don't want anything bad to happen to you, that's all."

"Business partner, and would that business be the Prahran market?"

"Maybe son, I have many businesses, and so does Stavros, maybe we have shares in it, I will have to look it up."

"Why Stavros, I have hardly seen him around you much, I have only ever seen him at the market, and maybe the Italian club once or twice."

"We catch up for coffee once a week son, I told you it's business, but he's not family."

"I will come over Tuesday and we are going to have a long talk gramps."

"If you want grandson, but I don't know what you want to know or why you're even interested. It's business that's all, did you get a good rental contract?" I give up, god knows what he's got his fingers in, so I relented once again and dropped my shoulders.

"Yes grandad, I got a very good deal, and thank you."

"That's okay son, your family, and your Nona wants to let you know that the fine lady you bought the apartment off is a wonderful ex-florist, perhaps she would like some casual work."

"I give up, how the hell does she know Alice?"

"They play canasta once a week at the club, just a gathering of the local women, she a lovely lady from what grandma says." I had to go, I couldn't take this bullshit anymore, but I was also dying to laugh and quite loudly, they were always a good source for a belly laugh or two when I was growing up, they are just a couple of kids themselves. I said my goodnights and hung up, just as my doorbell rang. I hope this isn't Gino, I couldn't take him again today.

"Luca, I'm so happy to see you."

"Hi Antonio, are you busy?"

"No mate, I just got off the phone from gran and grandad, they were doing my head in."

"Well I may be able to help, how about I take you to dinner and we can maybe discuss your grandparents?"

I was taken aback for a minute, no one has ever asked me out for dinner, what do I do? `Umm Luca, I would love to but I don't have a good suit for going out in."

"Then we go bohemian tonight, what is the Italian club like?" I gave him a big smile and asked him in.

"The menu changes every night, but it will be full of home-made pasta, garlic bread and salads even I haven't heard of. It's run by the ladies axillary and they all take turns at cooking their favorite food, so I don't know what will be on offer tonight."

"It will be fine as long as its homemade and good Italian food, I am a bit sick of stuffy restaurants anyway, Jeans and t-shirts?" He lifted his perfect eyebrow.

"Jeans and T-shirts it is then, please give me twenty minutes as I need to shower."

"Do you want a hand?" I stared at him and he laughed.

"I'll be back in twenty." Then he left me laughing. Do I want a hand, of course I want a hand, but he's so on a different level to me, sophisticated, sex on legs comes to mind?

True to his word he was back and early. I couldn't believe the change in him, he was gorgeous in civvies, his jeans were a perfect fit, and his shirt stretched across his well-developed chest, no wonder I wanted to fuck him so much.

"Will I do?" He opened his arms and stood sideways a bit so I could have a good look.

"Perfect, you look perfect."

"Thank you, so do you." He grinned.

We decided to walk there as it was a nice night, and it's not far. Gino was on the stairs drunk and nothing was said except Luca did say good evening, but I kept walking.

"Not talking to your friend tonight Antonio?"

"No, that's another story, but not for tonight, let's just enjoy our night out, no dramas."

"For sure, no dramas." I could smell his wonderful aftershave and kicked myself I didn't put any on, it wafted into my nose and I got a little heady because he was the most handsome man on the street and I was out walking with him. The Italian club was a mixture of old and young, the young ones came in to get a cheap meal, and the old ones came to play cards and have a catch up after their day, also maybe to have a vino or two while they are there. I could smell the food coming from the large kitchen and four women were fussing around cooking and stacking plates. The furniture was old, anyone that got a new dining room suite would donate their old one to the club so it was a mix of new and old, I kind of liked it that way, very casual. We picked a table and I went over to the serving window and grabbed a couple of glasses, Carlos had bought a bottle of wine and it was opened before I arrived back at my chair.

"Is this your brand?" "Yes Antonio, our cheaper one." He smiled then poured us a glass each, his shoulder-length hair flopped over his face, he was beautiful, and with one hand he swept it all back into its perfect position.

"The menu says lasagne, seafood linguini, and spaghetti bolognaise, and there's plenty of garlic bread and cheese on offer plus salads." I looked around and it wasn't all that busy tonight which I didn't mind, anyone that knows my grandparents will report back to them as soon as we leave I suppose.

Luca was smiling and pretty excited, and as he said he's sick of fine dining and he told me on the way here that at the winery it's always casual. He deals with corporate heads, that's why he's out at the best hotels every other night.

"How come you're invited to corporate functions?" I was interested, that's all.

"I'm not, it's our business, we also set up big functions and events, I do go out for dinner with potential clients many times from all over the world. My mother wants all us kids to have a role in the family business so I ended up with two of my brothers being the ones to organize the functions under the business name. We deal in a lot of wine at these functions."

"I don't understand, but I'm sure your pretty good at it." I smiled, big business does my head in.

"We fly all over the world organizing events, to make it easier for you to understand Antonio. I am here setting up wine cellars in Australia, and while I'm here I am organizing our corporate tent at the Melbourne cup carnival and a whole heap of other events that go on in this region. There is a big BMW convention coming up soon that I am involved in. And before you ask, I'm twenty-four, six feet one, and as you can see I look after myself." He smiled again.

"Same age as me, and I try to look after myself too." I giggled.

"I can see from here that you look after yourself. Now what did your grandparents do, I'm itching to know?" No, I want to talk about us not them.

I started telling him about the market stall and Stavros and he giggled now and then and agreed it would be a great move for me. I told him I didn't have a clue what my grandparents owned as they never talk about it, but I aim to find out.

He said his parents were the same, only God knows what they invest in, he's never been told and he's not all that fussed as long as they are happy. The vineyard brings in plenty of money annually and they always make sure that the village nearby is well looked after. The apartment he is staying in belongs to the family business and he had the option of staying there or in a hotel, he is helping his uncle set up the wine cellar shops also.

"His name's not Stavros is it?" He laughed so much his white teeth were doing a show and he has a beautiful laugh, a little kiddy like but manly at the same time.

"You are so funny Antonio thank you for making me laugh again,"

"I like hearing you laugh. I hate it when people are solemn. So what else should I know about you?"

"My parents recently restored a seventeenth-century manor house and it's beautiful, they were thinking about living in it but thought it too ostentatious so they rent it out for weddings and to corporate business, it pays for itself."

"That's amazing Luca, I would love to see it one day."

"You are more than welcome to visit Antonio, my parents would love you, I am sure."

"I'm sorry but I speak very little Italian."

"They speak very good English, they have to, most of their clients are English." Again a small laugh.

"Shall we eat?"

"Yes, I'm starving." We both got up and stood at the serving window, he got the seafood while I got the lasagne. We then heaped the cheese and garlic bread onto our plates and went back to eat.

He started telling me about his ex-boyfriend and didn't seem as maudlin as the last time, he said he had his older brothers to thank for his freedom, they were the ones that convinced him he wasn't in the right place and helped him sort out a few problems. Later he was offered the new job and accepted it, he said his brothers forced him to accept it because they wanted him to be involved in life again.

"I have been all over the world Antonio, but I like it here the best, you Australians are a very friendly and welcoming bunch."

"Well some of us are anyway, there will always be complainers."

"That is true with many countries but I do like it here, and I do like you, my new friend."

"Thank you, I like you too."

We ate almost in silence, the wine was emptied and he went to find another bottle from the kitchen. The Italian club has a license for alcohol so it was easy to procure a good bottle.

"So why aren't you talking to Gino?"

"Another story Luca, do you want to hear it." My head dropped.

"Yes."

I told him I had been in love with Gino for months now, I had given him a head job or four but only when he was drunk, and although I didn't protest at the time I did feel used. And I felt more used when he admitted he had experienced gay sex before he met me. I told him about the incident at work and Maria, the leech. Pat got a mention and I prattled on about Gino's stubbornness to see what's really in front of him. He listened to me and when I finished his whole persona changed back into a business one. He commented that I had a hard, uphill battle if I wanted Gino in my bed and I agreed that maybe I was being a little over-eager to have someone in my life.

We paid our small account and he started walking me home, but I felt like he was rushing to get there and I wanted to show him off a bit. Gino wasn't on the steps, thank God, and at my front door Luca thanked me for the most entertaining night and went off to his apartment. I was expecting a goodnight kiss at least but it didn't happen, something changed in him at the club and I turned the coffee machine on and the TV then sat at the table, my thoughts were deep and to be truthful, I missed Luca's company.

Next time we are out I will take a photo so I can see his jet black hair, his blue eyes and square jaw, it will remind me that I do have a genuine friend in my life, and I don't need Gino and all his mixed up crap.

Gino! My god, now I have done it, he thinks I'm still in love with Gino. He changed just after I told him that stuff. And why the hell did I say anything anyway, I berated myself. I had also told him about the rape so maybe that's why he's mad with me, maybe he thinks I'm weak. I sat and thought about it some more before I made my coffee, if anything was going to happen with Luca it would have happened tonight, he was being more than a friend, he was cruising me again and I ignored it. If he has feelings for me then why didn't he say, I should have kept my big mouth shut. I got up and opened my door then knocked on Luca's, it took a minute but he answered it, he was in his running shorts, I gasped at his beautiful body almost tearing up, and I wanted to kiss him so badly.

"Antonio?"

"Luca, I apologize, I am sorry I shouldn't even have been talking about Gino with you. I like you, and Gino is just someone from my past, I'm not in love with him."

"That's good Antonio, I am happy for you. I have to shower now, goodnight Antonio." Was he upset with me, he was also looking past me like he was in a stupor.

"Do you need a hand?" He stopped momentarily and answered,

"No, but thank you my friend."

Then he shut the door almost in my face. My stomach twisted and then it made a sour noise so I slowly walked back to my flat and my now almost cold coffee. I've stuffed everything up, my life is in the toilet again and it's all my fault. I wanted to make Luca feel better, but I kept telling myself he didn't make a move on me and so I don't know what he wants from me. I will try and have a talk to him tomorrow, I've got to fix this otherwise he will think I'm one of those rude Aussies who don't give a shit.

I tossed and turned all night and around two I got up and sat out on the small balcony, it was cool but not cold, Luca's light was on but I didn't go over there to see if he was awake. Eventually, I fell asleep where I sat, it was Tuesday and today I have to move my stock across to the shop. I showered and Luca was under the warm water with me as I stroked my dick to orgasm. I opened my eyes and the room was cold and of course he was only in my imagination.

Around nine I left by the fire escape and drove my van to the market. It was silent when I went to open the new shop and nobody was around, so I almost had the whole place to myself. A security guard checked me off his list and told me to let him know when I was finished. I opened the shop and turned the lights on and it was almost empty with loads of empty buckets stacked against one wall, a counter across the back hiding the small cool room, and shelving along the other side, yes I can do something with this for sure.

I spent the morning moving my flower buckets over from Gino's cool room, then with the help of the security guards we moved my counter before I cleaned up my open spot. I stood back and mourned the fun I used to have working beside Gino and Pat, but then my mind switched to the big argument we had the other day, so I turned and headed for the shop. A new beginning and a new life so I will do my best to let Luca know I'm not in love with anyone else but him, and I have to fix that as soon as possible.

When I was happy with the new look shop I closed up, thanked security and left with almost a big grin on my face. My stomach was still in turmoil and my heart ached to be held by a man I think will keep me safe and sound in his arms.

I arrived home around four and it was easier to get to my apartment from the car park, up the fire escape and I'm home quicker than going around through the front. I showered again then put my sexy running shorts on and a tank. I wanted Luca to see more of my body, something I've had hidden for some time, unless I'm out running that is. I knocked on his door but there was no answer, so I knocked again. There was silence coming from the flat so I walked down the stairs out the front and looked up and down the street, maybe he's at work still, I will try and catch him later. I heard a noise behind me and it was Gino setting up for his afternoon drinks so I nodded at him and he nodded back as I went to go back inside.

"He left."

"Excuse me?"

"He left around one, suitcase in hand."

"Where did he go?"

"Fucked if I know, he didn't say."

I was suddenly all alone and my head started to throb, I didn't want Gino to see the tears that appeared in my eyes so I thanked him and went back home. I sat on the sofa and cried my heart out for ages, then my phone rang but I didn't answer it, I didn't eat or drink, I just sat there in stunned silence.

Once again I tossed and turned all night, and was exhausted by the time four in the morning came around, I had to go to the wholesalers and start my day but I didn't want to. I wanted to find Luca and explain to him what had happened. A fantasy that backfired, a life without a lover and the desperate attempt for me to find one.

I realized that Gino wasn't for me but I was obsessed with him, I wanted a man in my life so bad that I picked him without his consent. It wasn't his fault he was built like he is, it was all my doing, my fault, and the love and imaginary life with Gino had clouded my thoughts. It would have been an impossible love, a one-sided romance, and yes I admitted to myself that it would have been a matter of time before Gino left me for a woman, a woman that he would love and cherish with no second thoughts for my feelings. Yes an impossible love. The funny thing that made me laugh is that I didn't even know Luca's family name, he may have told me but I was too obsessed with his gorgeous eyes to listen, but I doubt he told me, I would have remembered it.

For now, I have to get to the wholesalers and open my new shop and hopefully I will do good business in my new position. I didn't need the heating today as it was a mild early morning but it took a lot of willpower to keep my eyes open. How come when you don't sleep all night all of a sudden you get tired when you have something important to do? I pondered this question as I collected my orders and filled my trolley to the brim. At the market I pulled into a new parking spot just behind the shop, it was easier for me because there was a back door where I could tote my wares through to the small cool room.

There were stallholders everywhere and I got a few surprised looks and plenty of good mornings. I stood behind the big counter and started on my popular blooms making sure there was plenty of filler and ribbon in them, and even some balloons in a few. I had an early visitor by the name of Pat, she had brought me a coffee and wanted to look through the shop a bit.

"It's going to be good for you to be here Ant, Gino is as mad as hell your stall was vacant and cleaned out when he arrived, I think you should expect another round sometime this morning, he doesn't look well either."

"Probably too much vino, he's been drinking non-stop this past week and it's not all about me either."

"I know baby, he told her to piss off, something he has never had to do before, but she was starting to control him and he got sick of it."

"He took my advice then?"

"Yes lovely, he's said he was going to concentrate on himself from now on." She smiled.

"Well he won't have my help anymore, I'm done."

"Don't shut him out completely Ant, he's your friend first and foremost, and apart from all that other stuff, he does listen to you."

"I know, but he's so stubborn Pat, he needs a good woman who will be his partner in everything he does."

"Yes, I have someone in mind Ant, she's perfect for him, a niece of mine and she bangs like a dunny door I believe."

"What! What the hell are you talking about?"

"She's a real little goer Ant, she will suck his dick." She laughed so much I could see tears in her eyes, and when she finally settled down she said,

"Only kidding Ant. I have decided to talk like you men, it's easier to get my point across that way." I laughed along with her and we drank our coffees like it was old times again.

I started getting a few customers and she left because she starts in ten minutes, my current customers found me and were happy I hadn't left the market altogether, they liked my new shop too, so I was happy I won't lose any current clients as the word will be passed around. Small café tables appeared out the front of the shop, I expected this, it's where Stavros and his mates can play cards and drink coffee all day. It doesn't change the shop's operation and it does give the market an Italian feel, which is nice.

I had a great day, my shop is the last one near the exit and shoppers were picking up bunches on their way out, I think because they don't like carrying them around as they may get damaged. It was around one that Gino came by, he was calm and smiling as he walked into the shop.

"You didn't tell me you were moving Ant."

"No, sorry Gino, it was a spur of the moment thing, Stavros wanted to retire so he offered me his shop."

"Well it's pretty nice in here, at least you will be out of the cold."

"I will, and you can always come by anytime, I have a coffee machine now so there will always be a cup for you." I was being pleasant and I didn't want a repeat of the other day, my eyes are now seeing him in a different light, he is my friend and so is Pat.

He only stayed for a few minutes, but it broke the ice so I guess we will be best friends again soon.