Impossible Love

Impossible Love 25.

By Maxieplus

The boys arrived looking much better than they did yesterday, they said the tent is all finished and they will spend the next week training the waiters on their wines. I told them Gianni and I will be out there tomorrow to have a look so they said they will ride with us.

"So this is where my boys hang out?" A beautiful model type lady came into the back room.

"Sabine, when did you turn up?" I nearly screamed.

"Last night Antonio," she smiled, that's a good sign.

She grabbed her boys and started hugging them, Gianni was behind her and when she turned to me she saw him and grabbed him tightly, his eyes glistened over and he held onto her, they were talking in Italian so I didn't understand much of what they were saying.

Then she grabbed me and it was wonderful because she smelt so nice.

Gianni got her a seat and she sat staring at me, then she said,

"Do we have any more business to discuss Antonio?"

"No momma, none at all."

"And?" She opened her arms.

"I'll go and get him." I rushed out to do her bidding and went into the florist shop to grab Lukas.

"Sorry Alice, grandma's here, she gets priority." I took Lukas and smelled his nappy, he was fine to go so I told him,

"You be on your best behaviour, grandma's here."

I took him back and placed him in Sabine's arms and her tears started as she talked to him, he remembered her sweet tones and his arms and legs were everywhere in celebration.

"He remembers you."

"So he should, this good for nothing father of his dumped him on me all the time."

"That's why he's such a sweetheart grandma," I said but not sarcastically.

"Antonio, please get your mama a clean glass of wine."

"At once mama." I laughed.

Gianni was still in shock and the boys were trying to talk to her at fifty miles an hour but she was only focused on one thing, her grandson. After ten minutes and half a glass of vino later she explained that she flew in early to surprise us. She stayed at the apartment with Nina last night, and yes she will go and look at the event tomorrow with us. She held up her big bag and said to Gianni,

"I have four bottles here, two of each of your recipes from Tinker. What are you up to son?" Gianni blushed.

"I have also a box of photographs for you so when you get around to looking at them I will sit with you and explain who the people are. Anything else Antonio?"

"No mama, all is well." I grinned.

She also said she was staying the night with us because she can't bear being away from her boys any longer. I thought I might race home and change the bed but decided it should be good to go, nans been in.

Gianni was called into the shop to sell three cartons of wine which he helped the lady carry to her car, it's the season for parties and customers are stocking up. Plus, Gianni had placed a cheaper price on the bulk buys, I wonder who told him to do that?

I heard the boys complain about all the hard work they had done and she said she heard about it and was very proud of them. They perked up after that and in the end, they didn't mind the extra work for the family, bloody sucks.

"Have you heard anything on Basilio, Gianni?"

"No mama, last I heard he was in a detention centre, they may deport him after the court case."

"I hope they do son, I can keep a better eye on him over there, you know he's very screwed up don't you?"

"Yes mama, we found that out when he pulled his gun on Antonio." She looked at me and smiled then nodded.

"You are very good for my sons Antonio, maybe you have put me out of a job."

"Never Sabine, you will always be their mama, I am but a bystander."

"Umm." She grinned.

"Not so much a bystander Antonio, a level-headed saint I think."

"Oh well, if the Pope's handing out sainthoods then you should be first in line."

"What a charmer you are Antonio; we must do lunch one day." She stared at the boys and added,

"Alone Antonio."

I laughed at their faces, they were so happy to see her again, all their troubles and complaints disappeared in an instant when she walked into the shop.

"I love your shop Gianni, it's very impressive, what is with the discounted wines you have stacked in the middle of your shop?"

"Antonio's idea mamma, we are selling a lot more for the business by selling in bulk."

"You had better have a good word with that good for nothing brother of mine Federico, he never discounts." She laughed again.

"Is Alice in your shop Antonio?"

"Yes Sabine, she's a little put out because she babysits Lukas while we are here." I grinned.

"I will go and introduce myself to her soon and make sure she does not worry about me escaping with this dear little one. And Gino, where is he?"

"Over the other side of the market, a big fruit and veggie stall."

"Good, we will take a walk soon and I will meet him."

She played with Lukas a lot and kissed him with never-ending kisses, he was lapping up the familiar perfume and his cuddles.

"He's teething some more so he didn't sleep well last night."

"Grandma will fix that for him Antonio." She grinned. I didn't like to tell her his other grandmother already had it organized.

The boys helped Gianni to take some more cartons into the shop and Angelo popped his head in and was introduced to Sabine, she raised an eyebrow at me, I told her he was straight.

"Oh good, one for me at long last." She laughed more.

I had no idea what arrangements she had with Ramone but if they play well and good, they aren't hurting anyone.

She fixed her makeup, which she didn't need to, then we went to be introduced to Alice and Bianca. They nearly fell over themselves to make her feel comfortable and she thanked them for looking out for her precious grandson.

Next was Gino, he was stunned into silence but Pat wasn't, she wanted to know the label of her dress and who her hairdresser was.

"Be yourself Patricia, you are a very pretty woman and no one can match the natural beauty of a woman." Pat gushed as I poked her in the ribs and she slapped my arm.

"Is that Cal over there staring Antonio?"

"Yes Sabine, we don't have much to do with him anymore."

"Good, I don't want any negative people around my sons."

I finally got my baby back because he was exhausted and she wasn't listening to him anyway when we sat again in the café. Gianni had done well this morning and it won't be easy to wipe that smile off his face, especially with her here.

Federico turned up and after a short conversation about the family business she left to go to his place. She said she will catch us when we get back home. I asked if she wanted to take Lukas with her and she said that Alice would wilt if he was taken from her again, also she didn't want to get on her bad side.

"Clever thinking Sabine," I muttered.

She left with her brother and soon after Lukas was returned to the florist shop, I looked at the boys and smiled, they were so happy to see her, it has been a wonderful surprise for them.

"I hope she likes the events tent Antonio, we worked hard on it." I laughed and said,

"You two wouldn't know what hard work was."

Gianni told me to have some respect for his brothers and I could sense them ganging up on me so I went to help the girls.

"She's a very lovely woman Antonio, very smart looking." Alice was impressed with my mother in law.

"She is Alice, I suppose the Cartasso brand has done that to her, she has to look her best when she's out in public."

"Well she is lovely, I hope she will forgive my lack of housekeeping when she goes to my home."

"She's a natural Alice, she won't even be looking for any dust."

"Antonio, I have sold eight cartons this morning I have to order some more." Poor Gianni, he had an easy life until he met me.

"Well you can pick them up tomorrow on our way home, where is the other warehouse anyway?"

"It is not far away Antonio, in the next suburb, my brothers can help me, they are strong now they have done all that hard work." I grabbed another wine but I will settle down on them because I have to clean the apartment before Sabine arrives, I hope nan doesn't find out.

I worked my butt off but I didn't have to because gran did such a good job, I don't know whether she will turn up tomorrow but I am hoping she will stay home and rest a bit.

Sabine's bed was clean and fresh and I moved Lukas cot into our bedroom as I didn't want him to disturb her sleep, then I went through my freezer and pulled out some food.

"So you sold heaps this morning Gianni, much cash?"

"Yes Antonio, I have a lot of cash to put away, how were your sales?"

"Through the roof my lovely, more cash for our stash." I grinned and pulled out a big wad of notes.

He counted his up and then we hid it away safely in the bedroom. I don't want a repeat of what happened two weeks ago so apart from grandad we are the only ones that know about the secret hideaway.

Lukas was on the floor trying out his crawling moves, he is getting pretty bloody good at it too, no more falling over sideways as he romped and giggled his way through his living room toys. The bell went and Sabine, Alice and Federico came in, she watched Lukas crawl over to her then he tried to pull himself up onto her lap.

"He will be walking very soon Antonio; he's bored with crawling already." She smiled.

"Did you get your business done?" I looked at them both.

"Yes Antonio, we have decided that you will move to Italy and look after our events from now on, we will also pilfer Nina, to help you," Federico said, I laughed.

"I will go back to Italy but it won't be for work, it will be for that awesome lakeside grass." I blushed as I looked at Gianni.

"You are all the same Antonio, always looking to the past for your pleasures." Sabine laughed.

"Well I'm hoping someone will turn up, I am bored with the last person I picked up there." I laughed, Gianni slapped me.

"Gianni we have some business to discuss and then you are free to go and have a vino with your friend Gino."

"Yes mama, what business?" She pulled some paperwork out of her big bag and handed it to him.

"These are the quotes for your wines and these others here are the samples for your labels. I think this one is the best but Antonio may have a better eye than me."

I looked at the labels and she was right she had picked the best one, white background with gold lettering.

"Now you are going to relabel the Cartasso wine and you want two top-shelf ones also."

"Yes mamma, is that a bad thing to do?"

"No son, they both belong to you anyway. Federico and I have worked out a price for you to look at and if you do not agree we will look at it again."

"Okay." He was still looking at the labels; I don't know why.

I grabbed the price list and every different wine on it had twelve dollars written next to it. I smiled and said a silent thank you to them both.

"But you have to charge me more mama."

"No son, you own the business so you get them for cost, the boutique ones will be dearer because we have to pay the farmers for the extra grapes."

"Thank you so much. Antonio?"

"Yes Gianni?"

"I told you that you were good for me and my business."

"I don't think I had a hand in this one Gianni." I smiled.

"In a roundabout way Antonio you did, you have returned my son to me and for that we are grateful, now show me where you sat with my beautiful Luca." Sabines eyes glassed over.

I took her out onto the balcony and showed her. I was ashamed of the view but she didn't mind too much.

"We will sit and talk with him here then Antonio."

"Always Sabine, always."

Nina turned up with Sabine's overnight bag and had coffee with us, she said the event looked magnificent and she couldn't wait for us to see it. The boys smiled and puffed their chests out but they didn't get a pat on the head as they expected.

"Boys what are you going to do after the Melbourne cup carnival, have you made any solid plans yet?"

They looked at each other and then at me.

"Oh don't even go there boys, events are your thing, start another events company here in Melbourne and link it to the Cartasso brand, also hire Nina to do all the hard work for you." I laughed so much Gianni had to step on my foot to shut me up.

"Ow!" I slapped his hand as Sabine told us to behave ourselves.

"I will give you one year and if you can't make a go of it, you will return to your home. But your father is looking at retirement from the event side of things so you may get a lot of business from him, be prepared to travel."

"Can't we just work for Antonio and Gianni?"

The death stare happened about this time and when she released her face she said,

"Up to you." They high fived each other and looked at Gianni and me.

"You're hired, Nina can take over the events side of it, you are better suited anyway. I have no idea why you aren't used all the time."

"Because I love my family and friends and won't leave this city."

Sabine smiled and I thought I had better find out their real story before I burst with intrigue. But I said nothing, and the boys said nothing. I know the boys will keep doing the events and they will use Nina up to the max, she is a godsend.

We all prepared to go downstairs while Sabine changed her clothes. Nina had to go as she had some sort of crisis to attend to, but before she did she handed Gianni a shoebox full of photos, he put them aside for now. Jeans, t-shirt and a baby under her arms, Sabine shone in anything she wore. Chairs were placed on the pavement and when she saw Anna she immediately adopted her and Gino's baby.

She took over the conversations and Gino was besotted with her and hung onto every word as she talked about rearing a baby. It was a surreal meet-up because as people walked by she also talked to them in Italian and some she seemed to know a little, or she knew some of their family in Italy, it's a small world.

Lukas was watching her and now and then he would smile, then he would look at me, we haven't told him yet but he's sleeping in our room tonight, and I bet you anything he will keep us awake. Our night was a family one. A bit loud with a lot of laughter, Sabine joined in and I saw that teenager in her come out, a bit like Gianni and the boy's playfulness.

Later on Gino joined us on the back balcony and a chair we placed on it for Sabine, but she decided to join us by sitting on the walkway next to me. They all talked at once and they wanted to talk about when they were small. I found out a lot about my boys, especially Gianni, and it was a light-hearted night. As the evening wore on the boys went inside to go to bed, it was as if they could read Sabine's mind and were clearing the way for her and me to talk.

I opened another bottle and Gianni left showing Gino to the door so it was just Sabine and me, I got the feeling she wanted to talk to me in private

I draped my arms over the rails and looked out, she sat where Luca had sat not so long ago, I told her a few stories of our conversations while sitting here most nights.

"He loved it here, he said it was the quietest place on earth late at night. Although he could hear traffic in the distance he said it sounded like a waterfall and the moon was shining down on it. His imagination was so real Sabine, he even got me into seeing things that weren't there."

"He was a very special boy Antonio; he was so damaged when we got him it was impossible to turn him around. In the end and after many doctors he was diagnosed as bipolar schizophrenic. I know whatever was going on in his head he struggled so hard with."

"When he was around me he seemed so calm and relaxed, it was as if he didn't want me to see the other him. Do you think he was ashamed of his other self?"

"Yes he was Antonio, very ashamed and no end of talking to him about it would convince him otherwise. It consumed him inside he was full of demons and terrified they would escape and destroy his mind."

"He had no fear of imagining his life without them, as I said everything he saw from here had a story, a special kind of fairy story I suppose. He saw the beauty in everything except himself." I teared up a little and I must stop because our walkway had become very still and quiet.

"It was mostly the medication Antonio, he lived on it every day, you never saw his demons because he didn't miss taking it while he was here. For some reason he had someone that talked to him, not fobbed him off as being a crazy person." She smiled.

"I didn't know at the time Sabine, I guess my impression of him was of someone that was completely in control and very sophisticated. I couldn't compete with that so I didn't even try, I kept us natural. You said he was damaged when you got him, how?"

"He was four years old and so lost in his mind, he clung onto me all the time and was terrified of his own shadow. His parents weren't very nice people, they abused him constantly until the state took him away from them. Ramone and I adopted him because we thought the farm would bring a little peace into his life, and it did. He was the happiest there with us. His biggest mistake was to team up with that awful boy that took him into Rome, his pills weren't taken so his mind was a mess within weeks of moving there. I will never forgive myself for letting that happen to him." Tears were now flowing and my arm went around her shoulders.

"Sabine, you did the best you could with him, we can't concentrate on the negatives and he knew you loved him unconditionally, he talked about you all the time, he loved you so very much."

"When his family went to visit him, only one month after he moved to Roma, he was already a mess and involved in horrible practices with that man. We worked hard to make him see sense and we brought him back home to the farm where he knew he was safe." It doesn't matter that the boys told me, I got the feeling it was a family effort to make Luca see sense.

"Coming out here for the month or so was another test in his life, and it could have gone either way Antonio. He could have met some more awful people, but he met you, someone that would give him the calmness he craved so much. He would not stop talking about his impossible love and I believe in his head he believed he would never feel love, although he also knew it was all around him. The impossible love he felt wasn't anything around him, it was his inabilities to love himself, his inner love for his very own spirit," she said. I stared at her for a long time while my brain took it all in.

Of course he had never loved himself, why else would he take my heart and keep it near, he didn't know how to love himself.

"He didn't know how," I whispered.

"Yes you are correct, and you showed him some of it and he freaked again, he rejected it inside but he never rejected you."

"And Basilio?"

"He is a complete liar Antonio, he lied to me and my sister, god bless her soul. He lied to Gianni, his only driving force was always money. He thought we owed him, so he enchanted my sister and when she was with child he started taking her money. He felt safe because he had Gianni to hold over us all."

"Why didn't she leave?"

"Would you leave Gianni, I know you love him so much and I know you would try to help him and that's what my sister did, she moved them into the gatehouse so we wouldn't see the mental and physical abuse she was going through. Every day my heart reached out for that poor little boy, he was so in love with his father and no one could tell him otherwise, that was Basilio's doing, he gave the boy a false life, a false impression of him, he was his meal ticket and that's all. A very fine actor Antonio but a horrible person underneath it all. Gianni wasn't a problem child, he was always respectful but like Luca he didn't believe anyone could love him, only his momma and papa, and he was so stubborn he stuck to those beliefs up until now. His mind had made him believe we were his enemies but as you know that is far from the truth."

"Did he show love to you?"

"Yes, many times he reached out when he thought he couldn't cope with his imagined memories, and many times I held him at night when he was scared. His father had damaged him also, so we struggled sometimes, there was no way I could tell him the truth, he would have hated me for it." I poured us another wine and she sighed.

"I am so happy here Antonio, I didn't think it would be like this, your life is full of love yet so simple."

"I like it this way Sabine, no one gets into my head and I have friends all around me, I feel safe here."

"That's the feeling I get when I am at the farm, but I am also getting it here for some reason. I have never felt this calmness whenever I have been in Australia before."

"Too much traveling, too much meeting people, life will pass you by very quickly Sabine, you should maybe think about retiring like Ramone."

"Yes, I have thought about it constantly, I would love to move here and be with my friend Nina and now you. I have many decisions to make in the next month or two Antonio."

"And Nina, where does she fit in?"

She took a sip of her wine and stared out into the night.

"I have loved Nina for years, ever since we met at finishing school, and please Antonio it is not what you think, we are special friends, but not lovers."

"So why are you not living together?"

"Please don't repeat any of this Antonio. I am starting with you, to tell the truth. I haven't decided whether to forge ahead with my plans. I trust you because my son trusts you."

"I promise I won't say anything Sabine, you know I won't, I wouldn't hurt you or your family for the world."

"When I was fifteen I was raped by a gypsy violently, I had no experience and I couldn't fight him off because he was too strong for me, I was black and blue for weeks after the attack. I went into myself and my father thought it better if they send me to a school in Switzerland where I could get the best psychiatry treatment available. This is where I met my best friend Nina, we bonded very quickly and the truth be known she helped me more than any psychiatrist could."

She took another drink and started,

"When I returned, my parents had arranged a marriage for me which I fought not to happen, but my mama assured me that I would like the man I was to marry."

"My God, what a bloody mess for you, how the hell did you cope?"

"I had become stronger at that school because of Nina, she was a driving force in my recovery, she is so strong in her convictions."

"So she helped you?"

"Correct Antonio, she did marry when she went back to Australia but it was short-lived, her husband didn't treat her right so she swore off men and said she will go it on her own."

"And you?"

"I met Ramone and I did fall in love with him because he was different, he had told me he was gay from the start and his parents have forced him to get married to save family embarrassment. Antonio, I cannot tell you how relieved he and I were, and I had finally found someone that wouldn't abuse me again. Ramone and I became very close because we both had what the other wanted in the end. We travelled together with the business and he has had many lovers, but I have none."

"Sabine, not everyone is like that man that abused you, surely you know that."

"Yes I know Antonio, but when my babies came it didn't seem to matter anymore, I had everything I have ever wanted. I was surrounded by love."

"Ramone would go off for a month now and then with his current lover, and I would spend the time either having a holiday with my sons or catching up with Nina in Paris, and here if I had any event work. I had already bought the apartment for her to live comfortably as a thank you gift."

"Ultimately it was the children we couldn't have that we craved around us, so we adopted them, carrying on the picture perfect marriage as if nothing was happening." She looked out into the night and sighed.

"When they arrived the more Ramone stayed at home and everything settled down, even holidaying now and then with us because he didn't have any pressure from his parents. They signed over the business and retired to France."

"I feel awful for you both, how did you even cope with living in that situation?"

"We managed, and yes it was difficult at times but we are both happy. Nina won't leave here to come and live with us, she is a very independent woman. Now I have decisions to make because Ramone has met the love of his life in Monaco, that's where he is now, and this is how we work it. I come here, he goes to Monaco. He wants to retire from the family business and I want to come here to live because my best friend, the boys and grandchild are here and I miss them all so badly. What do I do Antonio?"

"You follow your heart; you move here and he goes off with his lover. The business will survive without you, isn't there anyone that can take on the Vineyard, can you lease it out?"

"We don't trust anyone Antonio, there's the manor house to consider too, its fully booked six months ahead, and my babies, they will want to go home occasionally, we can't sell it because of them."

"Well we will have a good think about it, maybe you could scale it back a bit, donate the manor to the village and they can run it, then all you have to do is get in some young guns to sell your wines. In fact, why don't you ask Federico and Alice to run it for you?"

"He won't want to go back there Antonio; he is happy here."

"Is he? I got the feeling he caught the bus back to Roma because he missed his countryside and wanted to see more of it."

"He does miss it, but I doubt he will go back and I can't ask Alice to go with him, she may not want to."

"Leave it to me, I will put some feelers out. When they go back maybe you can sub-lease the distillery side of it and the new company can do all the events and promotions."

"Maybe Antonio, so much of a headache we have made for ourselves."

She started getting up because we were both tired and my ass was sore. I thanked her for taking me into her confidence as she kissed me good night and stroked my cheek.

"Gianni Is right about you Antonio, you are good for him, and you are good for my family."

She crept into our bedroom and kissed Lukas goodnight then she gently did Gianni.

"Goodnight my babies, I will always love you." She kissed me then went to bed. I stripped and crawled in, both my boys were sleeping soundly so I slipped in behind Gianni and kissed his awesome back.

Lukas woke me early so I jumped out of bed so as not to wake Gianni. His teeth had broken through and he was a little bit restless. I took him to the kitchen and put some soother on them, then changed him. I then made him some warm milk and took him back to bed with me. He wanted to play but I wanted him to have twenty minutes more sleep. It was him insisting that every face I made was funny, so he giggled his head off while I was trying to be quiet.

"Is he okay?" I heard a muffled voice.

"Yes, he's fine now, his teeth have broken through and he wants to play now."

"Good morning."

"Good morning lovely man." My hand went to find his special handle and it was awake and ready for anything, that was until he went to the bathroom, and then it deflated a little. He got back into bed and said,

"Coffee would be nice." I thought yes, it would be nice, luckily I put the machine on before I crawled back into bed.

"It's ready, all you have to do is pour it."

"I don't pour coffee Antonio; I am the man of the house, please don't be a long time."

"Yes sir." I got out of bed so he turned around to play with his son, I think he got the better deal this morning.

I made coffee and went back to bed, his leg went over mine and his free hand played with my nuts while I made some more silly faces.

"What were you and momma talking about last night Antonio?"

"This and that, all good stuff, believe me. I think she and Ramone want to retire from the Vineyard, they have worked so hard to get it where it is so it's going to be a little hard for them to walk away from it."

"She should get Tinker to run it as a manager. What he doesn't know about that business is anyone's guess. It's the event and sales of the company that will confuse him, but he has some great ideas for wines."

"So you reckon he's to be trusted with that million-dollar business?"

"For sure Antonio, we went to school together, he was the only one that went to university. He knows a lot and taught me most of it, he's a very trustworthy, honest man Antonio."

"And the events?"

"She should sign it over to the boys and Nina to run, she has people she knows that can do business for it overseas." He wasn't talking to me, he was smiling and playing with Lukas.

"The manor house?"

"Lease half of it to the village to run forty percent split each, the village ladies run it anyway, all they have extra is to do the bookings."

"And the extra twenty percent?"

"For upkeep of the manor house, it's not cheap to run."

"You know a lot Gianni, maybe you are the man of the house."

"These walls are thin Antonio, and I have excellent hearing, as you know."

"Oh."

"My perfect lips are sealed Antonio, but I am very, very happy for them both. Now you need to make me happy without destroying our son's outlook on his perfect life. Please move down the bed and place the sheet over your head." I laughed so much he had to slap me into submission, it didn't take me long to get him off.

I couldn't do anything about Gianni listening to our conversation and I hope Sabine can forgive me. He has some very good ideas and I will pass them onto Sabine even though some of them were mine, but he has refined my ideas a bit.

We eventually got up and threw our bathrobes on. Sabine was sitting on the balcony sipping on coffee when I dropped Lukas in her lap, she then said good morning.

She said she had slept very well, better than she has for weeks now and she thanked me for our little talk. While Gianni went to shower I looked at her and said,

"I hadn't realized it before but the walls to our bedroom are pretty thin and Gianni has excellent hearing."

"He has, he was always listening to conversations I couldn't hear. No! Did he hear us?"

"I'm afraid yes, but he's very happy for you, happier than you think he is."

"Hell, now I have to come out and tell everyone. I was hoping to have it settled before I told the boys."

"Not necessarily Sabine, it's your choice but I would leave it for now, it's unimportant business until you get it done."

"We will wait then, what did he say about the business?"

"Same as me really, he said that you should put Tinker in as general manager of the winery, make the boys and Nina take over the events, make a deal with the village ladies forty percent split and twenty for the upkeep of the manor. Let them run it, the boys will give them bookings and they can hire a girl to take the bookings over the phone."

"He's very clever that one."

"He is, and because he is the man of the house he gets the last say, so start with the boys while you're here and I will help. And by the way, hire Nina as soon as you can, we don't want that gem to slip through our fingers." I smiled as she shook her head.

"I had better disturb Ramone's holiday and talk to him first then." She kissed Lukas and he made some funny noises back so I took him to change his now poopy nappy.