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Impossible love
Maxieplus
Chapter 1
It was freezing cold as I started my old, trusty Nissan van but lucky for me it always starts first time and I have never had any major trouble with it. I bought it off a mate when he needed to get a bigger van, and for what I want it for it does me just fine. It takes a while for the heater to warm up, so in the meantime I pulled my jacket and scarf tightly around my shoulders and head, I chuckled to myself because sometimes I felt I looked like ET wrapped up in his rug.
Wednesday morning is wholesale day, that's when I drive the seven miles to the big fruit and veggie wholesale sheds to buy my fresh flowers. I hate these early mornings and I have been up since four am, it gets a bit frustrating sometimes, especially in the middle of winter. I run a flower stall at the Prahran market and have done so for three years now. I make good money and don't see the need to buy a better van when this one will do me just fine, but I sure would like a better heater. I really only use it to do the market run once or twice a week depending on the season, however around Mother's day and Christmas I seem to be always there replenishing my stock.
By the time I got to the freeway the heating had kicked in and I turned it up full blast, there's not much traffic at this time of the morning so I will get a clear run. The wholesalers were setting up when I arrived so I grabbed my list and trolley and headed into the big flower shed.
"Good morning Ant, I have those long stemmed roses this morning," Mario said.
"Good morning Mario, I'll have a dozen bunches of red, and eight each of the yellow and pink thanks." He's been out of stock the past month so I'm glad they are back as I get top prices for them, the mark up on roses is a windfall. He also keeps the gyp and fillers, I needed more of them so I loaded up my trolley and kept going. It takes me an hour to collect all I want on my list and by the time I get to Prahran it's nearly five thirty, but my market doesn't open till six thirty. I have a lot of stuff to do to get ready for the long day and the weather isn't that brilliant this time of the year, but I keep telling myself that summer is coming.
I don't drive into the market because there are too many cars inside as it is, so I get a good spot in the carpark and load my trolley up again. I will have to make three or four trips as I got a lot of stock this morning, but it has to last until Sunday. I have some space next to Gino, my neighbour at work and at home, we both live in the same building. He's downstairs and I'm on the first floor. He has a big fruit and veggie stall next to mine and a large cool room which I share with him.
"Good morning Gino, I didn't see you at the wholesalers this morning, didn't need anything?"
"No Ant, I will go Wednesday, couldn't be bothered this morning, I was too tired."
"Late night?"
"No, just couldn't get myself into gear this morning, that's all."
"Fair enough." He was unloading boxes of veggies from the cooler and I loved to watch him throw them around like they were as light as a feather, his muscle tone was bloody awesome, he gets that from lugging the heavy boxes I suppose. He's never caught me perving at him but I do lust after this straight Italian guy like crazy, day in, day out.
I have never had a real boyfriend, well no one that really floated by boat that is. My Italian heritage gave me many good assets, but my nose was broken when I was a teenager and it didn't get the attention it needed so it didn't heal properly. It left me with a hook like nose and it stuck out like a beacon in the night. I do look after myself with my running, and a bit of gym work has given me a great hard body, but I wasn't an exhibitionist so I usually dressed down to casual jeans and a loose top and jacket when I went out. I didn't see the need to show off, but at twenty-four I really should be looking for a husband. This morning I'm well and truly covered up because it's too cold. After getting my buckets out of the cooler I started making up some more big bunches, and posies as I get good cash for these, they are always a favourite with my regulars.
I looked across the aisle and Cal was setting up his leather goods stall, a very popular and handsome tall blonde who I sometimes meet at the gay club up the road for a drink every now and then. We waved and said good morning then he moved off to unpack yet another carton of stock. I like going to the club but I don't particularly like his friends or him for that matter, they are all trendy and if you will forgive me, fake. I was usually only there to have a drink with Cal because I know him from the market, but I haven't been there for a few weeks now because I overheard him and one of his hipster mates call me `hook' behind my back so I have crossed him off my list of potential husbands, but I'm still nice to him.
I sometimes wish I was the mythical Captain Hook, I would string Cal and his mates up by the yard arm and leave them there to rot. I have to be nice to Cal though because of the market and because he has a stall opposite mine. His friends only let him into their circle because he was good looking and could attract the same type of guys into their lives because of it, but I learnt quite quickly he was the same as them. I called them the shallow ones, nothing too deep amongst them, just pickups and sex, however no love lost, I put up with them and they put up with, but mostly ignored me.
At twenty-four you would think I would have guys falling all over me, I do sometimes score a free drink at the club but they were from some guys that weren't very nice and some that were much older than me. I don't judge, I am polite and can hold a good conversation, but they are not what I'm looking for.
The night I overheard the, `hook' comment, I left the club and headed for the train station, one station down and a short walk places me outside my block of apartments. As the train rolled out of the station my thoughts were all about the dreams I had always yearned for in my life, little did I know how much my life was going to change.
Gino Rossi, a well-built, hard working Italian man around twenty-seven was a god in my book. He was straight with handsome, dark brooding looks, and quite tall with a glint in his eye that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. I have never seen him fully nude, but I have been with him several times and if there were any wishes to be granted in this world, I would only want one. Gino Rossi in my bed, and holding me tightly, his chest fur keeping me warm and safe, but those things don't happen in real life. I saw him sitting outside the flats on the stairs having a smoke and a wine, and as I got nearer that dark shortish, unkept curly hair flopped down over his gorgeous eyes as he picked up his glass to have another vino.
"Ciao Gino."
"Ciao Antonio, your home early."
"Couldn't be bothered, my night turned sour after I spilled a drink."
"You don't look drunk."
"I'm not, someone bumped me and it went down someone else's back so I got a mouthful of insults and that finished my night." I tried to smile and it was hard to look into his deep green eyes, and I was also lying to him.
He passed his glass over to me and I took a swig, the wine was cheap but nice so I thanked him and because I was getting a boner just looking at him, I said my goodnights and started upstairs.
"Sit with me for a while Ant, the night's early." I thought about it and sat down next to him, my knee touched his and my boner grew.
"Did you have a good day at the market?" I made small talk.
"Yes Ant, I am slowly recouping my money that bitch took with her."
"Have you heard from her?"
"No, she's doing her own thing, the divorce should be finalised in a few weeks."
"Freedom at last mate, I couldn't be happier for you."
"Well I won't fall into that trap again, maybe I will just find a gay guy to give me head every now and then to satisfy my urges." He looked at me and grinned.
"Well that gay guy would be very happy to be sucking on your meat whenever you wanted it." I already was in a way.
He laughed, it was a game we played. He knows I'm gay and he torments me all the time. We have a lot of fun bantering back and forth but that's it, if anyone else is nearby he clams up.
"Did I also tell you that the gay guy does awesome rimming too, he loves to do it for hours."
"Really? I never had that done to me before Ant, is it nice?"
"The best mate, but you will never find out because this gay guy is going to bed."
"Oh shucks, are you sure you are going to bed?"
"Goodnight Gino, hopefully you will find a girlfriend soon, you won't be off the market very long and you can give my mouth a rest."
"Here's hoping Ant, have a good night."
He was a quiet and kind sort of man, this banter was only between us and I have never heard him talking like that to anyone else. His wife had left him four months ago but I don't know whether he gets lonely or not and he never talks about getting laid or anything. Oh, did I fail to mention; he was absolutely gorgeous and I was in love with him? He has owned the fruit and veggie stall at the market for a few years now, I think his parents set him up with it when he got married. He works hard, has no children and I guessed a while ago that was why the marriage maybe broke up, maybe he couldn't father children.
He has the two-bedroom flat on the ground floor below mine, and because he works so hard, his muscles were much bigger than mine, just an observation. I sometimes wonder that he's running away from something because at work he's always on the go and he works his ass off on the days we are open. He gets up early like me at four or five am to go to the wholesalers, then by the time I arrive back at six he's back and unloading his truck with a forklift. His day begins by setting up tables and loading them up with veggies and fruit making a pattern of bright colours. Our market customers always start arriving early as they want to get the freshest goods they can.
I stripped off when I got inside and went to shower, at this time I was fighting off that hard on thinking of Gino. He had his shorts and tank top on tonight with his hairy chest on show and I ached to run my hands through it, it was so well-shaped to match his big, solid arms, I imagined his nuts rolling around in my mouth and my nose smelling his wonderful, dark thick pubes. But I know a different Gino and it doesn't involve foreplay. I dried off and put my shorts on then sat in front of the TV, I was waiting for a knock on the door. It came ten minutes later and Gino walked into the loungeroom, he had a hoodie on pulled tight around his head as if no one would know it was him, he was in hiding. He was also a bit drunk but I didn't mind.
Without a word he sat on the sofa and pulled his shorts down a little and I went to work. I slurped on that fat piece of meat for ages, he doesn't let me do anything else, he just arrives, I give him head and he leaves, no words are spoken but I do love his dick. The apartment building went quiet after I cleaned up, he never ever thanks me but I do get a buzz out of it. This is the fifth time I have blown him, we got drunk one night and the rest is history, but I do love him so much.
I showered again in the morning then dressed for my day at work. I walked the fifteen minutes to the market, I didn't need the car today. Gino was unloading his veggies from the cool room and placing some filled pallets at the back where he can start sorting them out into the table bins. I waved to him and he waved back, then I opened the side door of the big refrigeration unit and filled my trolley with buckets of flowers. I always start with what's left in old stock and freshen the buckets up with newer ones as the day progresses. Last night will never be mentioned or discussed, he's straight and I guess if he doesn't discuss our `relationship', it's not really happening.
I know there is a lot of money in veggies but I don't know how much he turns over because he has never told me what his wholesale prices are. I take extra time to make my stall look inviting for my customers, and when that's done I stand at my counter and start making up big bouquets. I charge a lot extra for them, a hundred and twenty dollars isn't an obscene amount where these works of art are concerned, it doesn't take that long, and they do look awesome with added ribbons I make up myself. After doing some low paid jobs when I left school I did a floristry course and when a space became available at the market I rented it.
Pat arrived and said good morning, she's Gino's casual worker, she and I get along really well and many times we have a laugh at Gino's expense. She and I are basically vying for his affections, she's a good looking woman so I suppose eventually she will win but I think her husband Frank would have a say in that, and she doesn't know about our arrangement either. The first job she does is make us a coffee and I'm always included in whatever Gino does because we are sort of good mates.
I was almost finished by the time our first customers arrived and Pat went to serve them while us boys finished our coffees, Gino then went off to clean up all the veggie offcuts and I stood behind my counter serving the few early morning shoppers. I heard him start his truck and slowly manoeuvre it outside where he parks it for the day. The market gets busy quite quickly and I looked across at Cal's stall where he was still setting it up, he must have had a very late night by the look of him. I didn't want to think about the gorgeous man he would have dragged home to fuck. He saw me and waved then went back to hanging his stock up around his stall.
I felt a hand gently press on my shoulder (he rarely touches me) and I turned to face him.
"Do you want another coffee?"
"Yes, if you're making one, thanks Gino."
"Pat, do you want another coffee?" he asked her.
"Yes, thank you Gino."
I don't think he likes making coffee, because he grunted quite loudly.
"Oh for God's sake Gino, take over the register and I'll make them then." Pat smiled at me.
"I suppose you want one too?" she asked, I nodded yes to her then laughed.
"You should buy a second hand coffee machine, then you could all get your own."
She wasn't miffed, she doesn't mind doing that job for us at all.
"Next you will be wanting a tea lady," Gino shouted and smirked at me. I had to smile because he hadn't shaved this morning and his three-day growth was awesome. There was nothing offensive about Gino, he always looked like he had spent the morning at a spa even after all the hard work he does before we arrive, and believe it or not it's all natural. His jeans and t-shirt were a bit grubby this morning but it only happens a couple of times a week when he goes to see the wholesalers, usually he's quite presentable, but his jeans are loose today so I might get a bum crack perve in if I'm lucky.
Customer after customer started buying up my stock and the market was filling up quickly. I re-filled empty spots and then stood wrapping and collecting the cash, my customers rarely used the card machine so there was always plenty of cash lying about. I hide a bit of it then bank the rest, I need folding money at the wholesalers as they only deal in cash sales, but I do have a stack of it under my sideboard back home. I have no idea how much Gino takes on a daily basis but I think he's doing quite well for himself. I know his ex-wife had handled all the cash and did the banking, he once said he was lucky to get fifty dollars a week for himself when she had finished moving money around. I know he owns his apartment because he told me once they had bought it, but I don't know how much his divorce had cost him, thank God he didn't have any children otherwise he would be paying for the rest of his life. I was watching him stretch over the potato bin and at last his crack was on show, as usual I wished I could go over there and lick it for him, just a lick that's all I wanted, but he never lets me go to town on his body.
"I haven't seen you around for a few weeks, is everything okay?" It was Cal, he was having a coffee and had walked over to my stall.
"Good morning Cal, yeah, by the time I get ready to go out I've lost the urge and stay home, my head hasn't been into it lately." I thought about him and his fake mates and their comments and cringed.
"That's okay Ant, I dragged John home last night, he's such a good fuck," he grinned. John was the baby of the group who has just turned eighteen and gorgeous to boot. I felt a pang of jealously because I wanted a piece of his ass desperately, he was awesome and he liked to share his booty around, but not with me. I think Cal is just playing with my emotions, he knows I don't win guys like John.
"That good?"
"Fantastic, I think we dropped off around three, his ass must be sore, but I think he's coming in to have lunch with me today." He was bragging again.
"Well when your sick of him, throw him my way will you."
"I certainly will Ant, you need to get a man in your life and soon." Sour bitch.
"I'm trying." I was being my usual nice self, I don't want to fall into his traps.
"Or your too picky." He laughed then went to serve a customer.
"Why haven't you got someone Antonio?" Gino was behind me again.
I was a little shocked at his question, I thought he would know why.
I placed a finger on my hook nose and rubbed it.
"This is stopping me having one, it's a real turn off to most guys, but I thought you would have known that."
"It looks okay, what's their problem, you have a great hard body and personality. I don't see anything wrong with your nose, it's okay in my book."
"Well tell that to potential suiters, it's a turn off in my world. It's like having one arm or being old, the guys just don't go for it, not when there are better looking guys around to pick from."
"Well then they are shallow, why don't they try and get to know you before they judge?"
"They want the look, and personality doesn't count mostly, see Cal over there, he's very good looking and never has any problems picking someone up for the night. I've never had anyone come home with me, they only want the Cal lookalikes, he gets a lot of free drinks." I laughed.
"He's okay I suppose, but you're more natural and you have a kind heart, you have a better personality than him." He actually placed his hand on my chest.
"Tell that to my many fans Gino, and by the way, why are you still single? I thought after your breakup your apartment would be filled with women. And for your information, you do have that sought after look." I raised my eyebrows.
"Oh God, don't wish another girlfriend on me, my wife was one too many, she bled me dry."
"Really, she actually did that to you?"
"Yes, she left with just about everything I had, luckily she didn't like the apartment, it was too down market for her."
He has never said much about his wife to me before, and I was pleased he was sharing this snippet of news with me now. I thought I might take it to another level and asked,
"Why did she leave?"
"She wanted more and more but I couldn't give it to her so she decided I was a dead end. Our parents pushed us together, we didn't have a say in the marriage and I had thought at the time why not, at least I will get some sex."
"You would have had plenty Gino, your one of Cal's mob, you could pull anyone." I went too far because he blushed then found something urgent to do. He walked away to talk to another of his casuals, he has three but it's Pat that's been with him the longest, and she's the one I really get along with.
It will take me a month of Sundays to find out what his full personal story is, he has only mentioned a few things to me before he shuts up, but this morning he's a little bit more talkative than usual.
"His wife cleaned all his savings out, she's rented an apartment in the city and is apparently living the high life," Pat leaned over and said.
"How do you know?"
"I know her sister, she's more down to earth than she is, she told me that she and Gino never really had a good marriage and she was just waiting for the right time to take him for everything."
"That's so sad Pat, I'm amazed he even let her."
"He made her sign a contract to say she wouldn't come back for more, she took him for two hundred and fifty grand I believe."
"Shit, what a bitch. I only saw her when she came in here to collect the takings. I didn't see her at all at the apartment building."
"She is a terrible person Ant, but you didn't hear any of this from me."
"He needs to find someone who loves him and who will be a partner in everything he does."
"I don't know about that Ant, he's been pretty cut up about the whole thing. You know Italians, through thick and thin, all that rubbish." My stomach ached.
I went to serve my next customer and thought I would like to help him but I had no way of doing that. I didn't have any girlfriends to set him up with, only some mates, but I don't think Gino would be interested in them. By the time it reached 10am we were all flat out, Pat had made another coffee and then the lunch time rush came.
By two we both had empty spots everywhere, Gino had kept his bins topped up and I was now using my fresh stock, my bouquets were nearly all gone and I won't make any more because the crowd will taper off now. We locked up at four and by five we had cleaned our areas and stored our stock into the big cool room. Gino did a quick stock take and I started to write down what flowers I needed to get for next week. The reason we sold so much was because it was a Wednesday, when the customers know that everything is fresh. I have enough to last until Sunday but next Wednesday morning I will have to do a wholesale run again. The old market is only open five days a week, Wednesday through to Sunday, that's the way it's always been, and only God knows why it isn't open seven days a week.
He drove me home in his truck today which was loaded up with empty vegetable bins. We talked about this morning's rush and I had done quite well, so I had better think about buying my apartment when it comes on the market, or maybe one of the others, but none of them will come cheap.
"I have enough stock to last until next week, and if I don't I will get some off Stavros, he's always got plenty left over so I will do the normal wholesale run Wednesday morning, that way everything's nice and fresh." I was making small talk.
"I was just thinking Ant, why don't you hire a part timer to do deliveries, I reckon that would be good?"
"Oh God, don't wish that on me, but I do like your idea."
"Well your bouquets are amazing." What a nice thing to say, but what about my head jobs, they are amazing too?
To be honest I was very warmed he was even thinking about me and my business, why the hell hasn't he got a good woman in his life? He's such a wonderful, kind hearted and good looking man, but not too soon I giggled in silence.
"Sit and have a vino with me Ant, we can discuss our day more." That's an invitation I won't resist tonight. Gino's apartment was on the ground floor and usually he sits on the stairs out the front and has a few drinks before he retires to his flat. I always thought it was because he is Italian and that's what they do, but I now think he does that to get more people contact. Like he's connecting with the neighbourhood because many times I have seen him sitting there talking to some familiar faces passing by.
I sat on the steps and waited until he brought out some wine and two glasses, then he poured me a drink and we saluted each other.
He skulled his and I half drank mine, he refilled our glasses and we sat in the late sunshine and talked.
"So you think it's your nose that turns people off dating you?"
"Yes, definitely it's my nose."
"I don't see it, I don't see why people are so shallow, I don't notice your nose, and until you brought the subject up I don't really see what the problem is."
"In my world Gino it's a real problem, any imperfections aren't attractive with the crowd. I am lucky to be included and if it wasn't for Cal being a market stall buddy, I wouldn't have any friends to say hello to at the gay club."
"You weren't born with it Ant, so what happened?"
"A rather aggressive hockey stick and a mean school kid took it out one day. It wasn't set properly so it's a bit out of shape. I'm saving for a nose job but they cost a fortune when you don't have any insurance."
"But you have insurance through the government."
"Not for plastic surgery, so little of that is covered by the government."
"A doctor's referral will fix that Ant, he can say its affecting your breathing or something, and they will do it then. I only know that because my cousin had one done when she was sixteen, corrective surgery, they pay for that."
"I will look further into it Gino, and thank you for not noticing, that means a lot to me."
He looked at me then smiled, he usually doesn't do that, he's a sullen sort of guy but today I got a smile and it was gorgeous he should do that more often. We sat there for two hours and I was getting a little bit tipsy but he was holding up quite nicely, and every time I looked sideways at him I fell in love some more. I know I'm being stupid and I do know that under this bent nose was a pretty good looking guy, so I will take his advice and go see a doctor. I know there's a good looking nose under it all because I spent many hours covering it up and imagining what I should really look like, I should look like my dad.
He went back inside and brought out some cheese and bread, and as I hadn't eaten all day I was now famished so it did its job and got rid of my hunger pangs. After we cleaned up we both retired to our respective apartments, but just before I left I nearly put my arms around him and kissed him at his door. That unfortunately was only my overactive imagination having a moment, I won't see him again tonight as he wasn't giving me any signs he would visit.
Back inside I stripped all my clothes off and sat at the computer, the porn was great but it wasn't skin on skin. I had found one that had a Gino look alike in it so I replayed it over and over inside my head, I was licking every square inch of his awesome body, something that has never happened, he's a blow and go type of guy.
By Sunday I had sold out completely so looks like an early run on Wednesday morning to get some more stock. I had bought some stock off Stavros the other florist and done my thing, but there wasn't enough to even last out the day, by lunchtime the flowers had all gone so I packed up and helped Pat and Gino on their stall. After work I didn't sit on the steps with Gino, he had driven me home then disappeared saying something about a blind date he had and as usual my stomach ached.
We have Mondays and Tuesdays off work so today is my cleaning day, not that I have much to clean. My furniture is mostly from the opportunity shop and because I live alone I don't have much in the way of cutlery and kitchen utensils. I'm certainly not a hoarder but I do have carpet to be vacuumed and benches to wipe down. My old washing machine in the bathroom struggles but it gets the job done. As I pushed the vacuum stick back and forth I was thinking about Gino's idea and wondered if I could really do it, I know there won't be any pain but what if it turns out worse? I will do some research on the computer later on.
Shopping day also today just to get milk, bread and a few essentials, the rest I get at the market like meat and veggies. I try to eat healthy but sometimes I just get some take away there's an endless supply of fast food where I work, and then there's Nona. I loaded up my bags at the supermarket around the corner and walked back to the flats, sitting on the steps was Gino and a young lady I hadn't seen before. I was introduced to Maria who was a very pleasant lady, at least I thought so, she asked me if I lived in the building but I think she was just making small talk so I excused myself and went upstairs. I guessed she was the big blind date from last night that Gino mentioned.
I didn't want to think about it too deeply because if I was to be honest I was as jealous as hell, maybe she stayed the night, maybe she didn't.
I have to stop lusting after him, it's not going to end well for me and he's straight anyway, apparently. I have to get myself into some sort of routine which doesn't involve him, and I certainly can't be a part of his life any more than I am.
I watched some DVD's, made lunch then pottered around. I did think about going to the club tonight but thought better of it, a few drinks and a lot of rejections tells me it won't be a good night anyway. Being the start of the week there won't be many people there. I rang Nonna to let her know I was okay, she said that grandad wasn't the best, his gout was giving him hell again. I told her I would come by tomorrow and bring something for it. I was brought up by my grandparents when my parents were killed in a car accident when I was only a baby. I never knew them, nor do I remember them, but I have photos of a very handsome guy and pretty woman that I sometimes look at. I look at my father's face and I do resemble him a lot, he was very handsome. I had a good life with my grandparents who loved me to death and were very protective of me, I have told them I am gay but it doesn't seem to make any difference to them, that's the type of people they are.
With that done I sat in front of my computer and watched some you tube videos and eventually I morphed to the porn site. I went all out tonight and stripped then played edging for the next hour until I couldn't hold off anymore and the river of cum soaked into the towel I had placed across my legs. For the rest of the night I trolled plastic surgeon sites for ideas while playing with my balls. I did think that I might like to sit out the front, but I didn't want to make small talk with Gino and his new friend.
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