Imago

Imago Arc 1: Lust Chapter 3: Boundaries

I left Mason's apartment in a much better mood than I'd arrived, and my walk past the three intervening buildings was a light one, despite it being chilly and almost full dark. I wasn't scared. We may have lived in the projects, but the people were good to each other. There was almost no crime, and I wasn't expecting anyone to accost me.

Which was why I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone accosted me.

"I've been waiting for you for hours," hissed a voice from behind the bushes next to the front entrance. "Where were you?"

It took me a hot second to get my bearings. "Time Girl?" I asked.

"Yeah, and you didn't answer my question," she said. She stepped into the light and showed a face weathered and aged. She wasn't old, but she was clearly past her 20's, and she'd been a teenager the day before. How long had it been for her since I'd last seen her?

"I'm so sorry. My first try at using my new toys was rough and hurt a lot. I was hijacked by friends trying to make me feel better. I completely forgot I was supposed to meet you. I'm really, really sorry."

"Whatever. It's not like I have to deal with you anymore after this," she sneered. Damn, I'd really pissed this girl off.

"I guess getting your number in case I want to hire you in the future is out," I muttered.

"Hard pass. Hunting through time for outfits is tedious A.F." She handed me an envelope. "Check to make sure these are the right ones."

I looked at the three photos. Yes, yes, and close enough. "I don't remember him wearing this shirt with these pants, but I'm not mad at it."

"So we're done here?" she asked.

As soon as the "yeah" came out of my mouth, she was gone. I slid the envelope into my pocket and continued up to the third floor.

That's where Isaac was waiting for me. "Oof, the emo outfit. Want to talk about it?" How long had he been waiting in the hallway with the bag of garbage, pretending to take it out? I fished out my keys in record time.

"Already did. Thanks. I'm good now." I was lying to him, but he didn't need to know that. I'd just had a taste of what being in Mason's family was like, and I wanted that. Fuck. Now I was in love with the idea of them being my in-laws.

"Alright, but you know you can talk to me about anything," Isaac was saying as I closed my door. I chained and deadbolted it behind me.

Mom was watching television on the couch again. "I brought you breakfast instead of dinner, since you were set for tonight." I eyed her. Her hands were shaking.

"You eat it," I told her. "I could tell yesterday you didn't eat, and it looks like you haven't had anything today either. You need to stop starving yourself."

"I promised I'd never let you go hungry, and nothing is going to stop me from that. I get one meal for free per shift, and it's always going to go to you." And yet she refused financial assistance. We qualified, but every time I brought it up, it became a fight. I stopped trying.

"Alright, but I ate, so you need to as well." I went to the fridge and brought the to-go container to her with a fork. "Eat." I sat down next to her. "I'm not leaving until you do."

After a couple of bites, she set the fork down. "I can't. It's making me nauseous."

"How many days have you gone without food?"

"I don't know. A few. Maybe more."

"Your stomach doesn't know what to do. Let that settle in, then take another couple bites. Keep doing that." I gave her a stern look. She laughed.

"Okay, Doctor Zac." She ate another bite. "Did you have fun over at Mason's?"

"Yeah, I really did." I paused and thought about following Beth's advice for a minute, then decided to go for it. "Mom, I'm gay. I was struggling with it, and Mason had me come over and talk it out with him. Jamie eavesdropped and told their mom, so she knows, too. That's why she had me stay over. She wanted me to know I was loved and supported."

She put the styrofoam box down on the end table next to her and brought me in for a shaky hug. She really was getting frail.

"Did you know already?" I asked her.

"Nope, but I've had your survival on my mind. Your sexuality never really concerned me that much. Besides, I barely get to see you these days. Either I'm working or you're buried in homework. I've missed so much of your life the past few years."

I shrugged. "I'm sixteen. It's not like anyone else my age actually hangs out with their parents either. I'd say we're pretty normal there."

"You're probably right," she laughed. "Maybe I'm not the worst, then?"

"Not even close." I got up and kissed her on the forehead. "You keep eating. I haven't even touched today's homework yet." I gestured at my outfit. "I was having an emo day, but I need to buckle down."

"You're a good kid, you know that? I don't tell you often enough, but I'm proud of you."

I could feel my face heat up as I was walking off, but I chuckled. "You're going to make me get full of myself."

Homework was surprisingly fast and light, and I still had an hour to read the manual before I turned in. During that session I learned something very interesting.

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in a year. I was out to the most important people in my life and they accepted me. I summoned my confidante Mason to tell him everything that happened.

"Jamie's a royal pain. I'm sorry for that," he responded after the story. "Glad that it worked out for you though." He sat down and rubbed his temples.

"You don't sound very enthused," I pointed out. "Not feeling well?"

"My head hurts. I think it's all the skipping time I'm doing. Remember, a few hours ago, I was at the spring formal, and then here with two of you, then with just you, then it was a day later and you were coming out to me, and now another day later with you telling me that coming out to the other me went well. I feel like a pinball."

"Maybe you need some real time rest," I guessed. "It's Saturday, so maybe we can just hang and rest for a while.

"I'm kinda hungry. I know your fridge is usually empty, but there wouldn't happen to be something to eat in there?"

I jumped up and grabbed the camera. "Nope, but I can do something really cool with the projector." I cycled through the pictures, showing him all the ones I took the day before of peoples' lunches. "Pick one," I told him.

He landed on a snack bag of Doritos and a sandwich. "Dude, I think that was your lunch yesterday -- the original you, that is. All that good shit and you want the simplest thing on the menu?"

"Everything else looked gross," he said.

I went to print it off. "You're such a toddler. Your mom had to serve the spaghetti sauce separately last night so you could have noodles with butter and parmesan."

"That's how we do it in our house. Jamie dumped all her vegetables into the pasta and ate it all mixed up, right?" I nodded. "Serving it all in pieces lets everyone choose what they like. I don't see the problem."

I put the picture into the projector and set the dial for "subject only." "There isn't one with the way it was served But Mason, dude. You can't live on just carbs and cheese with the occasional slab of lunch meat." I projected the meal onto my desk.

"Holy shit," he said through his first bite. "This is real food."

"You're a real person," I reminded him.

"That's a powerful box. What else can it do?"

"Not sure yet. I've been reading the manual bit by bit when I have the time, but it's really dry and extremely technical."

"Let me see." I tossed it onto the bed next to him and he opened it as he ate. "Uh, dude, this is in, like, hieroglyphics or something."

I glanced at the page he had open. It was all in English to me. "If you set the fourth calibration dial to seven, the subject is produced without a will of their own and will do exactly as told per the intention of the user, and not the verbiage used in the command," I read aloud.

"The hell sort of language just came out of your mouth?" he asked.

"English," I said. "Too technical? Want me to paraphrase?"

"It was a bunch of snarling and clicking," he said. "That's some freaky magic there. I don't think anyone but you is allowed to read or understand it."

"The lady in the store could use it." I told him about the shop and the creepy old woman, showing him the tattoo around my wrist.

"I don't think that thing's just a promise," he told me. "I think it translates for you. Good way to make sure only you can use it. What about the camera? Is that magic, too"

"Magic, no. From the future, yes. Don't know about the printer. I don't think I'm allowed to talk about how I got the camera, though. The girl who gave it to me seems stabby."

He finished eating and threw the bags in my trash. "That helped." He picked up the printer and turned it over a bunch of times. "Also not magic? I'm guessing they're just a means to get pictures to use the magic on."

"As far as I know, yes. And apparently the camera has more storage than I could possibly use in my lifetime."

"Both of them have USB ports," he pointed out. "If you had a computer, you could sort and organize your pictures. Plus, you could print things from the internet, too."

"But alas," I said.

"Go to my place and visit me. Get a pic of my laptop, then make a copy here. I can get it unlocked and free or anything the real me might not want you to see."

"I hadn't thought of getting a computer, but you're right. Unfortunately, that's a no go right now. You and Jamie are leaving today to spend a week in Seattle."

"Oh, it's Dad visitation week? Now I know what date it is. I'd been wondering. You should have a calendar or something up for me."

It was the week every semester I dreaded, and the reason I hated the summers. Mason and his sister had to go across country. It was part of the divorce settlement with their mom. The summers were the worst: nearly three months without him. I'd been trying not to think about it, pretending it didn't exist. The magic stuff was helping, and having a copy of him would help immensely.

"I guess I'm going to be out of my box a lot this week," he mused.

"You're taking this well. How are you so cool with this state of being?" I asked him.

"Honestly? I've already seen the magic at work, so I know it's real, and I know you well enough to know you're not lying about the real me still living undisturbed, so I don't feel like I've been kidnapped. As to the whole not being a real person thing...," he shrugged. "It's as strange to you as it is to me, and I'm curious enough to play it by ear with you. If it ends up sucking, I can just not exist, but it doesn't suck yet, and it has the potential to be kind of fun."

"Thank god you love sci-fi," I said. He laughed softly. The chuckle was so soft and boyish it made me melt a bit inside.

"You know it. I'll tell you what. Let me take a nap, and we can start turning your life around when I wake up and your mom's at work. I have some cool ideas."

"Works for me. I need to understand this book more, and make sure she doesn't come in and see you." I also had something I wanted to try without him knowing. It was all well and good that he was okay with me being gay, but I doubted he wanted to see it in action.

I read for a while, and then shifted to watching him while he slept. He was so beautiful he made my heart sing. I listened for Mom to get up, and made sure to leave my room quietly while she was out in the hall. She wouldn't knock to see if I was alright if she saw it with her own eyes.

"You look better today," I told her, keeping my voice low. "I take it you listened to me and kept eating?"

"I got through about half. Did you eat the rest for breakfast? I left a note."

"Didn't see it," I told her. "I had some snacks in my bag that some friends gave me and I ate those. "You go ahead and finish your dinner for breakfast. You're going to have some energy today."

She looked at me sideways. "You sure?" When I nodded, she shrugged and went in for her shower. I sat at the small kitchenette table with my manual and my school bag, so it would look like I was doing homework.

After microwaving her half eaten omelet, she shoved a fork full into my mouth before diving in herself. She sat with me and ate quietly for the most part. "What sort of book is that?" she asked. "Those don't look like words."

"Magic book in an ancient language," I told her flippantly so she'd think I was joking. "Complex spells. I'm learning how to summon dragons and cows and turnips."

"Goofball. What are you going to be up to today?"

"I'm going to kick it with Mason until he leaves for Seattle. We'd be hanging out already, but he's asleep." The half truths were coming easier. She finished up her food and headed off to work, peppier than normal.

I went back to my room quietly and snapped a picture of the sleeping Mason. Then took the printer to the kitchen to print it off. Then went back to my room and traded the printer for the projector and took that to my mom's room, since it had a lock. I placed the picture inside and turned the dials to a new setting: the one to make a mindless servant that would do what I wanted.

I projected it onto the bed, sleeping in the same position as the one in my room. "Don't make noise," I told it. "Lie on your back." It turned over and stayed motionless. It still had on the light blue shirt and khakis from the dance, but rumpled from a few extra hours of use and a nap.

The first thing I did was what I'd wanted most in the world. I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his, finally learning what his lips felt like on mine. They were soft, but motionless. "Kiss me back," I breathed. It was like heaven and fireworks all at once as we made out on the bed.

I opened the buttons of his shirt and kissed my way down his smooth chest. I didn't want to think of Isaac, but I couldn't help going over his move sets, trying to provide pleasure instead of just taking it. I spent time on his nipples, flicking them with my tongue, biting them gently, blowing on them. His stomach was so smooth and flat that I couldn't help but run my hands over it.

I opened his belt as I mouthed over the lump in his pants, darkening the tan fabric with my saliva. Unbuttoning and unzipping him, I reached into his boxers to pull out his dick, which rested soft and docile in my hand. I played with him and teased him with my tongue, but he wasn't getting hard. Was there something wrong with my technique?

I kept playing with him with my hand as I kissed my way back up and returned to his lips. I opened my eyes to look into his from up close. I wanted to see the blue from a lover's distance.

I stopped cold.

Tears were streaming from the corners of his eyes down into his hair. "What's going on? Why are you crying? Whisper it."

He complied. "Why would you do that to me? I thought we were friends. That was...I don't want that."

"You were in there the whole time?" I breathed.

"Please delete me," he whimpered. "Please."

I rushed to the box and did just that, horrified. His consciousness had been alert and awake for that whole thing. It wasn't an empty doll I could just play with. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry." I was whispering to an empty room, possibly hoping I could somehow apologize to his essence. "I didn't know," I repeated over and over as I backed to the door and slid down it, knees to my chest. "I didn't know."

I wasn't sure how long I'd been sitting there like that before there was a knock on the locked door behind me. "Zac, you okay in there?" Mason called through the door. He was the untouched one -- unfazed -- still good with me. I pulled the picture out of the projector and folded it in half, shoving it into my pocket. I'd have to destroy it later. That picture was my shame.

I unlocked the door and carried the box past him, back to my room, and set it there. He followed me in and closed the door. "You're crying. Like, a lot. Your eyes are crazy red."

"I don't want to talk about it," I told him.

"Isn't that why I'm here? You pulled me out of that picture for someone to talk to."

I sighed and looked out the window. There was a small wooded area behind the complex, and my view was straight into the canopy. I wanted to run out into that forest and never be seen again. I had to tell him, but I didn't have to say it was him. That would set him off again.

"You know that guy I had a crush on? Well, I made a new kind of copy of him."

"Dude! Seriously, you need to cut that shit out. You're tearing yourself up over a guy who doesn't like you. Move on."

I ignored the admonishment and continued. "The setting was to make a mindless automaton. I wanted to touch him and stuff."

"That's gross and creepy. You made a sex doll in the image of someone who doesn't want you. I need to tell you this on no uncertain terms: that's a violation of the privacy of the real guy. This isn't like making a copy who has the same level of free will as the real one and can tell you to fuck off if you're too personal. I hope to God that you've been crying because you realized you can't do that shit."

"It's worse than that," I told him. "I misunderstood what the setting meant. He was in there the whole time I did stuff to him. He couldn't stop me or say no. He begged me to...I deleted him right away, so he couldn't go through any more pain."

"You stopped touching him immediately, stopped his trauma, and then had a breakdown?" I nodded. "Then you at least did the right thing in the end." He sat on the floor next to me. "Look at me. This, this thing with us, this thing with me here, it can only happen if you promise you learned your lesson. No more experimenting with people for sex. Not even if you do find a sex doll setting. Imagine if some girl liked you and made a sex doll of you to play with."

I did imagine it. I wasn't sure if I'd poured out too much emotion, but the thought didn't bother me. It flattered me. As long as this hypothetical girl remembered I wasn't the same thing as her toy, she could have her way with it. But Mason clearly felt differently. He didn't want his privacy leaked out like that. "I wouldn't feel violated," I admitted to him, "but I'm not everyone. You'd feel violated, and that means others would, too. So I'm not going to do it anymore."

"Good. So long as we're clear. You really wouldn't mind?"

"Nope. Maybe I'm more of an exhibitionist than you are. Remember how we'd go to the stalls to change in middle school gym? I didn't need that. I just did it to keep you company and because we were friends." And because I didn't like being apart from him, but I wasn't going to add that bit.

He sighed. "I guess we have different boundaries and limits. You'll keep things clean?"

The barbed wire tattoo on my wrist tightened and I could feel the steel cut into my skin. "I promise," I lied.

Author Notes:

I have a Discord channel where I post status updates of my writing, and that will serve as a nexus for my other works on Nifty for easy access. Here is the join link: https://discord.gg/kVUrhJ7

I also have a Ko-Fi for TIPS ONLY. None of my work is behind a paywall, and the Ko-Fi is only there for anyone who wants to make my life easier. There is no pressure to donate, and only gratitude in return. The link is in my discord channel, linked above, because it looks like being linked to there directly from Nifty is against Ko-fi's TOS.

Shout outs this week to all my new Discord members, and to those who have engaged with me over email. I'm doing my best to keep up with correspondence, but I also have a streaming schedule and need to write Arc 2. As of sending this, Arc 2, Chapter 1 is written, and I'm working on 2-2.

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~Jayce ( jaycemarvel501@gmail.com )