Im Yours

Published on Jul 26, 2012

Gay

I'm Yours San Francisco (19)

They float, Georgie, they float. And I floated too. For the second time that day. I had forgotten to use enough sunscreen on my chest and face the first time, so I had to end the pleasure all too soon. Now though, the cool waters of the Pacific carried my body and blocked out almost all noise behind a friendly, distorting barrier. I almost started humming in pleasure when I felt a colder current gently glide by the back of my head, playing with my hair. The image of swaying corals entered my mind..

I floated for so long. Or I didn't - it couldn't have been very long. Soon my legs started burning again and I turned over and smoothly dove in. The feeling of my body stretching and moving without effort filled me with calmness, as usual.

I walked out of the water, "Harry? Where's Louis and Zayn gone?"

He was frowning, but he's been frowning the whole time these past few days, so I'm not surprised. Guess who's bothering him again.

"I don't know, somewhere. I don't think they're coming back, said they'll meet us at the venue," he threw his tank top on top of the pile of things under the umbrella. I sighed.

"What's going on this time?"

Harry didn't reply. I picked up my towel and threw it over my shoulders. I stood in the sun, so my hair can dry out as well, thinking about the show we were about to do the next day. Given all the new arrangements and the bigger number of songs, we haven't been all that coordinated. This would be the third show of the tour and it's about time we get everything right.

"Hey," suddenly Niall was next to me, getting all shirtless and sexy. I smiled. He nodded in the direction of the sulking Harry, "Did she call him again or..?"

"M-no," I shook my head. "He's just sitting there. We'll have to be leaving soon, Zayn and Louis are going to be waiting for us at the venue."

"Let me do a few quick laps and we're going."

His bum was more than appealing in his colorful trunks and his jaunty stride made me smile. He was just about to leap forward and into the waves, when Harry's phone rang. Niall stopped and turned around to watch him talk to his girlfriend. Listening to Harry's replies and imagining the things she must be saying to him makes me feel sick, sad and mad. But he won't listen. I know he and Lou have been discussing every aspect of the whole deal time after time, and still Harry insists things will get better. 

He raised his voice only once this time and I cringed when he did. He finished with a simple `okay'. Niall was already walking out of the water.

"Harry," he called, "what did she say this time?"

An exasperated look crossed Harry's face as he jammed his phone in the pocket of his trunks. Niall hesitated. Then he walked over to him on his beach chair.

"Come with me to the pool?" my man said softly. Harry looked up at him blankly, or maybe questioningly.

I was left alone, hoping Niall would be able to swing things in a better direction. He doesn't like to intrude on people's relationships, and he usually keeps his opinions to himself (unless it's something about our relationship, that's one other thing I love about what we have, he's much more inclined to voice his thoughts about anything that's happening between us), but sometimes when he does speak up, his words can have a huge impact.

I got a letter the other day. We all get tons of fanmail and we sit down to read it together at times, but this letter was given to me personally by Martha. I can't imagine what it must have taken Dave to mark it as that important when he was sending it.

Basically, I had completely forgotten about him. We hadn't talked since a bit after things with Niall worked out. And afterwards I just pushed him out of my mind because I had no clue as to what to tell him. He had watched us on Ellen. In his letter, he was saying that he understands why I hadn't contacted him further, but there was an obvious touch of bitterness and perhaps accusation to his words. And he's completely right to feel that I was kind of using him only. I feel terrible, but, as you might have already guessed, I still have no idea how to resolve the issue.

Niall will be refraining from going through his mentions on Twitter for a while. I mean, we both realize it's pointless to be affected by `haha not only u can't sing but your also fags it doesnt get any worse lol' or `omg you stupid faggots did you suck simon cowells dick to get you to the final' or, my favorite, `Stop pretending to be gay for popularity because you can't sing, being gay is not a joke!!'. But still, when these comments are directed towards you or towards the person you love, it stings no matter how much you try not to care. Martha insisted on doubling the security. Hopefully, the commotion will die down in a few weeks and people will get used to seeing Niall and me showing affection for each other in public.

I was completely dressed when my blond leprechaun came back. I noticed his trunks had dried out. 

"What happened?" I asked, aware that he might not tell me.

"I'll tell you after I..." he pointed to the water and ran into the waves.

I folded Niall's clothes and gathered Harry's belongings with mine and then I watched my boy's blond head poke out of the water here or there. After some time he walked out, dripping and gorgeous. I threw him a towel. It covered his frame adorably.

"Jess is coming to Vegas. I mean, Harry's going to fly her out to Vegas when we're having the show there," wet blond locks fell on his forehead.

"Did you magically like..fix everything?!" I was baffled.

He chuckled.

"We talked, and...Harry's going to do this last thing, final effort and...he'll see how it goes and if it doesn't work out, if he doesn't feel that...that things are better, he's going to end the relationship."

"What's to guarantee he won't...I don't know, decide he can't bring himself to do it?"

Niall shrugged sorrowfully.

"Nothing, I guess. I just hope everything we talked about will like...I hope it will matter when the time comes. If the time comes."

He turned towards the sun and closed his eyes. From my beach chair I watched the way the droplets on his legs and belly gleamed and the beautiful peace on his face. My boyfriend.

"Niall, I don't know what I'm supposed to do about Dave..." I said. hopeful that maybe his wisdom can help me too.

"You don't know how to deal with something?" Niall threw me an incredulous smile. "I don't know, man, I don't know. You have to find away to apologize..."

"I know, I know I do."

"We could have three-way.." he laughed to himself.

"You'd consider that?!"

"Shut up."

A colder gust of wind picked up the dangling ends of Niall's towel and he shivered exaggeratedly. I got up from my chair and closed the space between us. I opened my arms to hug him, but the little step he took backwards stopped me.

"Come on, there's no one around," there were a bunch of people down the beach from us, but it was peaceful other than that since the beach was the hotel's private property.

I pulled him close. One of the most beautiful feelings is the one of him melting into my embrace, and his hair softly rubbing my cheek. I sometimes imagine closing my eyes and stopping time at such a moment. It would be the perfect way to spend an eternity.

"Write him back and explain yourself," Niall said quietly. "Or, you still have his number, right? Call him. Tell him you were...I don't know, too caught up in what was happening? Just be honest."

The familiar faint smell of vanilla coming from his hair softened the colors of the world. I decided it was time for a cheesy but sincere profession of my feelings.

"Every day I'm grateful for having you and for having the chance to be with you," I said without letting him go. He didn't reply, "Can we kiss?"

"Yeah."

I held him by his shoulders and slowly moved my face closer. He was smiling. I was so very close when the smile disappeared. His lips twitched, I could count the tiny streaks of lighter blue that ran all through his irises if I had wanted. Maybe one day I will.

My whole body was tingling even before our lips had touched.

Next: Chapter 21


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