Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here. If you don't like any of the following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language, etc.
This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Please do not copy without my consent. Please practice safe sex.
Subject: I'm Not Gay?. Am I? Chapter 5
It was sunny and warm this morning when I knocked on the metal door of the trailer. I remember standing there and my body was shaking as I prepared to face Daniel. I literally jumped when his door snatched open and I saw him standing in black briefs in the doorway.
"Eric! Hey. Come in," he said as his eyes darted behind me, looking up toward the farm house.
"It's clear. Mom and Dad aren't back yet and Josh is still asleep," I said as I entered his trailer and sat down on a small chair. I was surprised at how clean and orderly the place was. In the three years he worked for Dad I had never been in the trailer Dad let him live in out back.
"I'm kinda surprised you're out here," he said as he leaned against the kitchen counter.
"Well you told me to come out to the trailer. Figured I had no choice."
Daniel nodded, and shifted his position. "In case you're worried, I didn't do that much to Ryan. I just fucked him up a bit and told him if he screws with you again he'd have to deal with me. Doubt you'll have to deal with him again."
"Thanks, but you didn't have to get involved," I said, staring at the floor.
"Yeah I did. He had a knife on you guys! What the fuck is up with him? Are you guys involved or something?"
"What the hell you mean by that?!" I said, angry at what he was implying.
"Hey, it's cool Eric. You don't have to tell me. But I gotta warn you - that guy is fucked up. What he did to you guys wasn't," he said.
"Don't want to talk about it. I came out here like you asked me to. So here I am, what do I have to do?"
"What you mean? You don't HAVE to DO anything. I just meant.. well, if you wanted to have some more fun, I thought it might be easier for us to meet out here. We have to be careful though, I don't want your Dad to find out I'm fucking his boy."
"This is not going to be a regular thing. I let you do it once more – that is it! Then this is over, and you never tell anyone about yesterday and last night. So lets get it over with," I said, glaring at him.
"Wait a sec, Eric. Do you think I was blackmailing you or something?!"
I stood up, facing Daniel, shaking with anger. "All I want is this to end. I never want to talk about last night again! Josh can never know what I did to him!"
"I would never tell him, Eric!" Daniel stepped forward, gripping my shoulders and staring down into my eyes. "Eric, everything is our secret. I told you last night, I took care of Ryan, and Josh has no idea what you did to him – he was asleep! What happened between you and I is our secret! You don't have to do anything, I will never tell. I didn't mean you had to come out here for another fuck as blackmail," he said, pulling me forward into his arms.
I shoved back, and looked up at him. "What the fuck you think I am? I'm not some faggot like you!" I screamed at him.
"I never said you were anything, I just mean... well, it was good last night wasn't it? We both had fun. I needed to fuck and you were good. God Eric, I had watched you get fucking ripped and hot over the past year. Of course I wanted to tap that ass. And you liked it both times I fucked you," he said, as he reached over and gently took my hand and placed it on the bulge of his black briefs. I jerked my hand back from the hardness.
As I looked at Daniel, he slowly pushed his briefs down his hips and legs until they hit the floor. I stared at the floor, as he took my hand and led me through the trailer into his tiny bedroom. While I stood still he removed my white tank top, and unbuttoned my khaki shorts, and slid them off me. I numbly stepped out of my flip flops and let him pull me down on top of him on his bed. I closed my eyes as his mouth began to suck and lick my chest.
My mind was blank as I laid there and submitted to what I needed to do. I heard his threat last night, and I couldn't risk anyone knowing what I had done to my brother. Or what I had fantasized about. I had to endure it no matter what. When Daniel's mouth sucked on my cock, I remained limp and numb.
"Eric," he panted out as he touched and caressed me. "I loved that night I fucked you in the shower, and last night, fuck! I loved filling your tight ass with my load," he moaned out. I laid still, taking what I needed to for my brother.
"Eric, what's wrong?"
"If I let you fuck me now, will you never come near me again?" My words were monotone as I looked up at the ceiling.
"Eric, remember last night? Remember how you begged me? What's wrong?"
"I'm not gay. I'm only doing this to protect Josh. I can't let you tell anyone."
When I felt Daniel climb off me I looked down to see him standing at the end of his bed. "If there is one thing I know, Eric, it's that you are gay. You liked having cock up your ass last night! You begged for it! And I don't need to blackmail you just so I can fuck you again. Get the fuck out of here and come back when you realize how much you want my cock up your ass again!"
I stood and got dressed as he watched me. On the way out of his bedroom I heard his voice behind me.
"I want you, Eric. You loved it in the shower with me and you loved it last night. All I want is to fuck you again." I felt the need in his voice, but I also felt the power of control. I knew at that moment Daniel wanted me, just like Todd had wanted me at Sarah's. I had power over faggots and I could use it.
So now as I walk back to the farm house I know Daniel will not talk about my actions last night. I had been terrorized by Ryan. It had been a one time moment of confusion and it is over now. I just need to make sure Josh doesn't tell anyone about Ryan's visit to the farm, and everything will finally be over. I headed up the stairs to face my little brother.
"What's up?" I said, as I nervously stood in his bedroom doorway. I glanced as he raised himself up and leaned against his pillows. The sheet slipped down to his waist, revealing his bare chest.
"Just waking up. Where you been?", he said, nervously flattening the covers at his waist.
"Oh I was just out back talking to Daniel."
"Is he okay? I mean, did that guy hurt him?"
"He's cool. He took care of everything. We were lucky when he saved us yesterday."
"What did he do to that guy?"
"Don't worry about it, Josh. I'm sorry it happened. You should never have been involved," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Wasn't that Ryan from your class? I remember him from the football team."
"Doesn't matter. He won't ever be back."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. But hey, listen, I don't want Mom and Dad to worry. Yesterday has to be our secret." I said, looking at him for a response.
"It's cool. I won't tell. But, um, I'm sorry," he said, and two tears rolling down both of his cheeks.
I walk across the room, and reached down, wiping the tears. "Josh, shhh. Let's not talk about it. You got nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who's sorry," I said, grabbing him in an embrace.
"I couldn't help it, Eric. I was scared, but I couldn't help it. It felt so good. I didn't mean to say those things to you while you were...um, you know. Why did he make us do that?" His voice was a sob, as I held him tighter.
"Shhh, Josh. It's okay. I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget it ever happened," I whisper.
When I pull him back out of my embrace, I wipe the tears from his face again, and I see his eyes look down in embarrassment. I look to where he is staring and see the sheet has slid back from his waist. Josh's cock is uncovered, and it's fully erect. I look away quickly, staring up into his eyes. He looks into mine, our faces only inches apart. I see the slight stubble on his chin and my finger traces through it. My brother seems to have grown up over night. We continue to stare, but when his mouth opens to speak I feel a shiver run through me.
"Eric, am I gay?"
"No. Neither one of us is gay. Why would you even say that," I whispered to him.
"Because I liked it, Eric. I liked it a lot," he whispers back to me, and more tears slid down his cheeks.
"Josh, it's ok. That's natural. Blow jobs feel good. But we were forced. Ryan forced us. I had to do it to protect you. You know I had no choice, right?" I pleaded, staring in his eyes for understanding.
"But you liked it too. I know you did," he said, as tears dripped from his chin and I watch them slide over the smooth skin of his chest. My eyes move further down to look at his cock again. It is like last night, I still can remember all of the cum I swallowed from him. My cock betrays me again now as I feel it start to stiffen in my shorts. I shake my head "no" to Josh, but I feel my body tingle with desire. How could I have done that last night? How could I have felt those things? How can I STILL feel like this?
I see his hands move toward me, and I seem to be watching them as if I am detached from this moment. His fingers grip the fabric edge of my ribbed tank top and pulls up, revealing my bulging shorts below. His fingers burn my skin as he unbuttons my shorts, just like how I undressed him yesterday when Ryan forced me. I see my zipper lowering and the tip of my cock is shiny with pre-cum, sticking above the waistband of my briefs.
"Look Eric. You are just as hard as me," he said, his voice clearer, as we both look down at my cock.
When I look up into his eyes again his face seems to be closer. The space between us shrinks and before I know it I feel the feather lightness of his full lips touch mine. Automatically my eyes close, and I feel again a light kiss, then another. I know this is my brother, but the touch is so light and soft, and I press forward giving him a return kiss.
As we hug, I wrap my arms around him and look out the window over the lawn toward the barn. I know I want to protect him, but this is not the right way to do it. I whisper into his ear, "Josh, this is wrong." But I feel his hands pulling my tank top up, and I raise my arms allowing him to remove it. I wrap him into an embrace again and feel out nipples brush together. One of my hands betrays me and slides from his back to his chest, cupping his muscle and feeling the hardness of his nipple. My other hand runs up to his neck, into his hair, and our faces shift so that our lips are meet again. This time the kiss is not light, but more urgent as our lips press together again.
"Eric," he whispers as our lips separate, "do it to me again. Please Eric, I loved it. Please suck on my cock again."
The words rip through me, but I am mesmerized as I feel his hands touch my waist and pull at my shorts. My hips betray me now as I raise them, allowing him to move my shorts down. I feel air on my exposed cock and balls and we both stare at my throbbing red cock. I look at his and almost can feel it again in my mouth like last night. The blasts of cum had squirted into the back of my throat. Ryan had ordered me to drink my brother's cum. Ryan. Ryan is no longer here. Ryan is not making me do this now. This is me doing this. This is wrong!
I'm off the bed and stumbling back against the doorframe, my shorts and briefs falling to my ankles. Josh reaches for me, kicking the sheet from himself so he is exposed before me totally nude, his muscular body calling for me.
"Eric, come back." His hand reaches for me, and we look in each other's eyes.
"Shut up! Fucking SHUT UP!! You are acting like a faggot!" I scream, as I run down the hallway, tripping with the clothes at my ankles. I look up to see Eric standing in his door, naked and his cock pointing straight at me.
"Get the fuck away from me!" I scream, and stumble, shaking the shorts and briefs from my feet and running into my bedroom. I throw open the window and lean out breathing in the air, gasping for oxygen to fill my lungs.
"Eric." Josh's voice is behind me, and I turn to look. We are standing and facing each other. Before me is a man, with a strong muscular body. I look at him feeling the temptation of lust wash over me. His legs are defined and shaped with strength, his thighs smooth and bulging with powerful muscles, his abs cut into hard wedges of lean youth. His arms and chest curved with muscles from the weights in the basement. In this moment he is not my brother, he is a nude handsome man. He is not here to attack or rape me, he is here to be with me.
I want to scream for him to leave, but my body and cock control me as I walk to him until the tips of our cocks touch. I look up into his eyes, and see the same lust as I am feeling throughout my own body.
"Josh, we can't. This is wrong. This is sick," I whisper, but my hips press forward allowing our cocks to rub further together.
Josh steps forward, and now our pecs touch together, or nipples meet, our thighs touch, our shafts press into each other's abs. I have to stop this! My hands reached up and shoved him back, pushing him to my bed. I climb over him, grabbing his hair like Ryan has done to me. I violently wrench and pull at his head, and scream down into his face.
"You fucking little faggot! Get the fuck away from me!!"
My chest heaves, as I straddle over him. We freeze, staring into each other's eyes. He is not afraid of me. He has the power and I cannot stop him. I don't see it but I feel it his hand enclosing around my cock. The touch makes my body convulse as I lean down, my mouth an inch from him and I whisper, "Please Josh, stop."
Our mouths meet and we both open wide, pushing our tongues deep into each other's mouths, the passion finally over taking us. I feel the temptation win, as I submit to my aching desire, kissing my brother with the longing and urgency I have felt for him for months now. Nothing stops us as I lower myself on top of him and we began to caress and touch each other as no brothers are to ever touch. My hands go directly to feel him where I am not to supposed to ever touch my brother – rubbing his hard cock, feeling his balls, running my fingers along his ass crack, touching his pucker hole. The taboo desire urges me forward as I begin to now use my mouth, licking, sucking and kissing all of these areas that I am never to taste! As I bury my face into his balls and lick back to his hole, I know I am doing the worst sin of the world, but I cannot stop. I am tasting my own brother, and I fucking love it!
"Eric, oh yes, Eric! Fuck yes!"
I take his cock into my mouth, raising his hips like I did last night and deep throat his beautiful meat! I hear him repeating my name over and over, and begging me to kiss him again. So I move back up his body, our mouth meeting in ecstasy, wild sexual abandon allowing us too finally be together.
"Oh god, Josh! Oh Josh," I moan out, kissing him with an intensity I've never felt before.
"Eric, Eric, oh god, suck me more, drink my cum!"
"Josh! I want to swallow all of your cum!"
We separate our mouths so I can move back to his cock, and our eyes meet. I can hear my own voice scream out as I look him in the eyes, "Josh, Josh I love you!!"
"Eric, I love you! I love you, I love you!" His voice screams out too as I move to his cock, sucking with a wildness of an animal. Above me his voice yells out, "Make love to me, Eric!"
We roll on the bed, me flipping to my back, as Josh puts his cock to my mouth and begins to fuck my face. I can't see to get enough of him into me, I want him deeper. I need him inside me! And I feel my hole tingle, realizing that is what I need! I pull his cock from my mouth and move him down, so that his cock goes between my legs. We kiss again as I maneuver my ass to the tip of his cock. I can feel the pressure at my hole again - the hole that Ryan, Todd and Daniel have all raped! I hate being fucked! How can I want this I think, as I raise and lower my ass, letting Josh's cock rub back and forth through my ass cheeks. This is sicker than anything in the world, to want your own brother to fuck you! But I deserve the rapes! I deserve it because look how sick I am! I need to sin to be fucked from my sick body! Josh can make me pay for these disgusting thing I have thought and done! I am fucking whore!
"JOSH, FUCK ME!!!"
The room freezes in silence as the words echo off the walls. Above me Josh is panting and looking down into my eyes, his face a mask of confusion. I realize he has no idea what I am really asking for, so I have to show him. I slide my hand between us and grip his hard cock, pulling it slightly forward while at the same time shifting my hips so his mushroom head is pressed against my sphincter.
His face changes as he realizes what I want. "Josh, do it, shove your cock inside me," I whisper.
Neither of us move, as we both breathe deeply. He must be scared, but I need him to do it. I need to just let this happen. I will have done the absolute worst then and then this sin will be over! I hear my voice as I look in his eyes, "Josh, fuck your worthless brother's ass!!"
The pain rips through my sphincter as his hips shove against mine. Simultaneously we scream out "FUCK!" as his cock plows into my ass. I press my hands to the globes of his ass, and raise my legs, taking the cock all the way inside me. Like an animal he begins to thrust his hard dick into me, like dogs in heat we fuck.
"Eric! Josh! I'm home!" The slam of the kitchen door echoes through the house as my mother's voice rings up from downstairs.
My brother's flesh seems to morph in that instant to acid, burning through my body. We both shove at each other, his cock popping out my ass, our bodies flying off my bed. He bolts from my room without looking back, as I run to the doorway. I see him pulling his jeans on in his room, stuffing his hard cock down the pant leg, grabbing a t-shirt from the floor. He runs past me down the stairs.
Choking back fear and pain, I jump into my shorts and tank top, willing my cock down. In the bathroom I splash freezing water on my face, and then hurry down the stairs. Josh is carrying my parent's luggage into their bedroom.
"Hey honey," Mom says as she grips me shoulders and give me a quick hug. "Your Aunt Edith says hello!"
"Where's Dad and Lisa? I say, trying to breathe calmly, and looking over her shoulder for Josh.
"Oh your Dad and sister went on into town. I thought we could barbeque tonight, so I sent them to the store. They'll be back in awhile. So what you two been up to since we've been gone?"
Josh stood behind Mom silently. "Nothing," I say, "Nothing much."
"Josh, take your little sister's bag up and put it on her bed," Mom says. "I'm going to take a quick shower before dinner." She closes her bedroom door behind her and once again Josh and I are alone together.
In silence, he moves past me, grabbing Lisa's bag, and heading up the stairs. I HAVE to talk to him, so I run up the stairs following him. I didn't know what to say to him, but I have to face him.
"Josh."
"Shh! Mom is home. I, I can't talk to you."
"Josh, it was wrong," I blurt out.
He shakes his head in agreement and moves past me to his room. At his bedroom door I stop again, and he finally looks into my eyes.
"I think you are gay" he says to me. Tears fill my eyes instantly, as his words hit me. How could he say that to me?? His door starts to close, and he turns away, but I hear him whisper the word Ryan made him say to me yesterday. "Fag."
Walking back into my bedroom, I blink the tears away as I look at the bed. The bed where only a few minutes ago I was naked with Josh. The bed where I actually asked him to fuck me. The bed where I put his cock into my ass hole! No wonder he thinks I am gay! No wonder he called me a fag! Am I gay?! Is everyone right?!
I feel sick with disgust, yet I look at the wall. On the other side of that wall is my brother's bedroom. I want to be back in that bedroom. I want to apologize. I want to tell him how sorry I am for all this. I want to hold him again. I want to feel him again. I want to comfort him. I want to kiss his forehead. I want to kiss his lips. I want to taste his skin. I want to drink from his cock. I want my brother to fuck me!
I go down the hallway and stand outside his door. Anger fills me as I know I will never be able to face my brother again as a normal man. I am a fag to him now. I feel my feet move as I descend the stairs. Outside I look up and see the birds in the sky, as I move slowly across the lawn and the gravel drive.
When I open the barn door, I hear the groaning from above. I can see the hay shifting about me through the slats of the wood floor of the hayloft. I grab the ladder railings and climb up to the loft.
Sunlight is pouring through the opening of the wall that we use to toss the hay bales through, down to the corral below. Standing with a pitchfork in his hand is Daniel. He's shirtless, and I see the muscles rippling across his torso. His skin is shiny with sweat. His chest hair is light across his pecs, but leads to a dark trail down his abs leading into his jeans that bulge with muscles. He is more of a man than Ryan, Todd or obviously my younger brother. Daniel is in his 30s, and seems to be so confident and strong compared to all these other men.
"Eric?"
I say nothing as I cross over the loft to stand in front of him. He is slightly taller than me so I look up at him.
"What do you want, Eric?" he said, with a look of confusion and anger.
I stare back at him, and reach for my crotch, moving my hard cock in my shorts to show him I'm aroused.
"I heard you and your brother. I heard you begging him to fuck you. What happened, Eric?"
I lean over to the side wall and grab the heavy horse blanket from the hook. It has hung up here for years. Josh and I used it when were kids when we played up in the loft. It was heavy and kept the scratch of the hay from our skin when we used to picnic up here or play with the barn cats we had back then. I smell the fabric and it reminds me of my younger days. I shake it out, laying it down in the middle of the loft. Then I raise my tank top, and pull it over my head. Turning to face Daniel, I look him in the eyes.
"I'm not Josh," he whispers.
I unbutton my shorts and let them fall to the blanket, and push my briefs off too. I watch Daniel's eyes as they widen, taking in my body, and my erect cock.
"Come here, Josh. I need you to finish fucking me." My words are a whisper as I motion for Daniel to come to me.
I watch as he pulls off his cowboy boots and socks. When he steps onto the blanket we look into each other eyes, and he says, "I bet your Mom coming home interrupted you, huh? I saw your Dad drop her off. Didn't get enough of your brother's cock up that ass of yours?"
I nod and quietly say, "You didn't finish, Josh. I need you to fuck me."
I watch in silence as Daniel remove his jeans. This time as my eyes follow the treasure trail down to his trim bush, my cock betrays me more and seems to grow even further. I know I have to do this because I want this lust for my brother to end. Maybe if he finally fucks me the temptation will be over. Maybe if I live out the fantasy I can be free of this sickness.
Daniel pulls me into his embrace, our nude bodies press together and our mouths meet. In my mind I feel Josh's tongue enter my mouth again, and my body shakes. We sink to the blanket and I let Josh take over. His mouth roams my body, and I close my eyes feeling the mouth and tongue explore me. As my cock is enveloped by the warm wet mouth I hear my words, "Josh, I love you."
"I love you too, brother," I hear him reply. "I loved fucking you, I'm sorry Mom interrupted us. I want to fuck my big brother's tight ass!"
The words encourage me and I pull him toward me, "Josh, oh god little brother! I need you in my hole! Josh, FUCK ME!"
My legs raise and I feel the cock at my ass lips. Josh's gorgeous cock had shoved inside me but I needed it again to take me!
"JOSH! Fuck your worthless brother!"
The cock slams into me and the world seems to tilt on its axis. My mind is black with shoot red colors as I feel the pain and pleasure again inside my worthless ass hole. Josh is thrusting into me and I know just how disgusting and filthy this act is! I need this to rid me of the sin in my mind. Moans fill the air as the man above me pounds my hole over and over. I feel the cock pull from my ass and I open my eyes to see Daniel towering over me as he flips me to my stomach. I feel his muscled body lay on top of me and the cock at my pussy ass lips. Again it fills me and I close my eyes, seeing Josh in my bed as he fucks me. I start to whisper his name as a mantra over and over, letting the cock rip my hole wide as it slams into me. I am a filthy whore, letting my brother rape my disgusting ass. I scream out in ecstasy, yelling Josh's name over and over as I am fucked into submission by him.
"Josh, oh god Josh, yes, fuck me hard, fuck me like you fucked me in my bed. FUCK ME!"
Daniel's releases hot burning liquid pulses into my ass, and I clenched my cheeks aching for Josh's cum to fill me. My eyes open as I take the cum inside, and I look forward to see my little brother standing across the hayloft watching me being fucked. His mouth hangs open in shock as he watches and looks into my eyes. Daniel's hands grasp my pecs as he raises me up and I feel my ass lower onto the hard cock still inside me. Daniel is on his knees behind me as I sit in his lap feeling more cum bursting from his cock into my bowels. I stare into my brother's eyes as I aim my cock and the cum shoots out coating the blanket with 5 ropes of cream.
Closing my eyes from exhaustion I lean back as Daniel wraps his arms around me holding me to his muscled chest. I open my eyes again and see that Josh is gone, I can hear him below running from the barn, across the gravel drive. I stand, feeling the stiff cock slip from my cum-filled hole, and I step over to watch Josh run across the lawn. His body ripples with muscles as he runs in a sprint to the kitchen door. I still feel lust for him and I realize what a worthless piece of shit I am. In my ears I hear the words of Ryan, Todd, and Josh – "FAG". Lowering myself to the blanket, I kneel, but then bend forward till my face is against the blanket and my ass is in the air. I have to take more. I have to stop these feeling for Josh.
"Come on! FUCK my worthless ass AGAIN" The cock behind me slams inside and I close my eyes
The birds outside chirp and I hear my Dad pull up in the driveway.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Hope you are enjoying the story. It seems Eric is on a path of destruction, unable to determine who and what he is, and having feelings he cannot understand, and lusting for his own brother. Has he crossed the line? Does he really want his brother, or is this confusion from everything he has been through? Is he attracted to Daniel, or does his ass really crave more from Ryan and Todd? Will he ever find a way out of this to where he should be? I hope you learn it along with me and enjoy some pleasure too. You can email with your comments, questions, or whatever. Send them to mheast111@hotmail.com