Im Not Gay Am I

Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here. If you don't like any of the following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language, etc.

This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Please do not copy without my consent. Please practice safe sex.

Subject: I'm Not Gay? Am I? Chapter 13

Summer. I've always loved it. But it feels like I haven't had a good one in years. Last summer was months of healing and pain pills. And Josh. This summer was about me finally confronting my confusion. Instead of burying it... facing it and trying to figure out who the hell I really am.

Thad was staying on campus and Jeff was going to take summer classes there. I knew it would be difficult to be in the same town as those guys, but I wanted to avoid the farm. Instead Thad set the rules. He knew I had drugged and seduced him so I had no choice but to do as he asked or else face the risk of him exposing me to the college administration. I could have not only lost my scholarship but maybe even faced criminal charges. He barely spoke to me the final week of school until the last day when he informed me I needed to get the fuck outta town. In fact he ordered me to quit my job at the deli and give him a reference to take over my job there. I did as I was told, got him the job, packed up and left as soon as my last final was complete. I hated the thought of going back to the farm but I had no choice.

I regretted that night with Thad. I was drunk out of my mind and had been tricked by Jeff. It was such a fucking mess and I never meant to pull Thad into it all. But the sickness I had controlled me and I accepted that. Because no matter what I did I always ended up back between the legs of some man.

The weird thing is that sex with Thad had probably saved my life. I didn't want to die. I just wanted to sleep. Or maybe I did want to die since I felt the need to sleep forever. But the vision of Thad nude in his bed distracted me long enough to drop those pills. As sick as it was, seducing Thad had saved me.

I was a mess after Thad had left the room the morning after he had fucked me. I was covered with bruises from him hitting me and my ass was sore from his big black cock that had plowed into me during the encounter. For a long while I laid on the floor of our room in my misery. I cried as I battled with my thougghts. At some point I even considered myself gay. After all I had basically seduced THad in order to get fucked by him. I had wanted cock in my ass. Hell I had wanted it with Jeff. I had been having sex for a long time with different guys, so I must be gay. But then I started to think about all the sex and I realized most of it had been rape or forced sex for other means. I had never honestly gone to a man annd slept with him because I wanted him. Well - except for Todd. And Josh. But the more I thought about it the more disgusted I became. I had let the words of my bullies in high school control me. After all this time their words made me think I was gay. I was not!

Jeff tried to reach me a few times the following week, but I avoided him. The last I heard from him was an email I got after arriving back on the farm. He sounded pissed I had left school early and never bothered to say good bye. His note never mentioned what happened that night. We obviously had gotten too drunk. My guard was down and he made me do things I did not want to do....

Mom and Dad were glad to have me back. Lisa put together a little welcome home event. Josh barely said three words to me, which I was happy about. He was avoiding me at all costs. At night I would hear him lock his bedroom door, and I did the same. I barely saw him, and if he was home Jenny was usually with him. I was so glad I had helped set him up in that relationship. He needed to be normal and not a freak like me.

I felt good being home. Free to be away from what I had done at college. It seemed no matter where I went I would bring ths sickness with me. Yes, the farm still holds memories of me. It was the place I had done the worst of my actions. But everything was different now. Josh hated me, and there was no signs of my past summers where I had commited such horrible acts. In fact even the trailer home that Daniel had lived in out back was gone now. No sign of him. Dad must have finally had it removed, which was a relief. Since it was in that trailer Dad had caught Daniel and I.

Daniel. I hadn't intended on ever thinking about him again. I still felt like crap for what I had done. He was nothing but an excellent farm hand and I had cost him his income. I always wondered where he ended up. The second week at home I went into town with Mom to run some errands and we saw Dad's truck parked at Nellie's Diner. We considered stopping in to join him but at the stoplight we looked over and saw Dad in the front row of windows, casually drinking a cup of coffee. With Daniel.

He looked the same. As rugged and as handsome as ever. I remember how his body had looked in the sunlight up in the loft. He had fallen for me and I used him. But Daniel had helped me so much. He set up the secret cameras to film that day in the loft when I got my revenge on Ryan. And Todd. He helped me blackmail Ryan and get the tuition money I needed for college. But my lies to Dad had cost Daniel his job. And there he was talking to my Dad.

My ass muscled clenched in fear. My Mom silently drove on and neither of us spoke. I had no idea what she was thinking but I know Dad had proclaimed we were never to speak of Daniel again. And there they had been having coffee.

That night when Dad came in for dinner my whole body trembled. I had no idea what Daniel and Dad would be talking about that day, nor that Dad would even sit down and share a conversation with him. I ached in dread knowing Daniel probably hated me enough to tell him the truth. But the night went by with nothing. Dad barely spoke to me, and nothing was mentioned about Daniel. Even Mom seemed more quiet than normal. probably in as much confusion about what we had both seen.

Two nights later as I was getting ready for bed Dad came into my room. Like always he stammed a bit. He was never comfortable with me. And I always wondered what he really believed that day he had come into the trailer and found Daniel's head between my legs. He seemed to believe my lies that Daniel had been forcing himself on me, but even I knew it hadn't looked that way.

"Hey. So how's your final summer going?"

"Final summer?" I said in reply, and searched his face for any sign of why he would come to my bedroom that night.

"You know. By next year you will be graduated and working somewhere. So this will be it for you living here," he said. It sounded more like a command about my future than a prediction.

"Yeah I guess so. It's going ok. I'm still doing some online studies though. I got a big senior year ahead of me," I replied and sat down on my bed. He pulled out my desk chair and sat to face me. It was then I noticed the sack in his hand.

"Listen. I got you something. Figuring how you like to read, this is the best book ever made. So I want you to read it this summer," he said and handed me the sack.

I pulled out the heavy book. It was the Holy Bible. I looked up at him in confusion.

"Dad, you and Mom gave me a Bible when I was a kid. See. It's there on the shelf," I said and pointed at the leather trimmed book on the wall shelf.

"Well it never hurts to have a new one. Besides you obviously aren't reading that one, so this new one you can use," he said, and looked away.

I looked at him, confused. I didn't get it.

"So I expect that to be the only book I see you read this summer. You got it?" His words were a forceful demand.

"Why?"

He stood up and looked down at me with anger on his face. "Besides I am your father and I said you have to read it! In fact you need to read the Old Testament part twice! Leviticus. Read it!"

I stared back at him confused. He broke our stare and went to my doorway.

"You need to read about sin, boy. And how to beg for forgiveness. We all do," he said, his back to me.

It was then it hit me. My Dad was mad at me about sin. Sin I had committed. And it flashed through my mind about Leviticus. Something was in that chapter about how it was a sin for men to lie down with men. Daniel. My face flushed bright read and my throat constricted in fear.

"I spoke to Father Reilly. Made an appointment for you to meet with him tomorrow at 10am. Don't be late!" And he left. My Dad knew. And he had sent me to the church.

It was strange sitting in the rectory. It smelled musty and old. Lots of books, wood walls and old red rugs. Father Reilly was nice and gave me a coffee to drink as we sat in his office. He was kind. Probably the kindest guy I knew. We were not regular church goers but I had known Father since junior high when he was new to the parish. I felt safe in his office. And I was ready for whatever I had to talk about with him. Dad knew. I knew. And I knew the Father could never tell my confessions. I had read Leviticus overnight and thought this had to be the answer. God was my salvation. I had committed terrible sin and the best way to end my desires was to turn to God for help. Father Reilly maybe was the answer.

"Did Dad tell you?" I asked and looked at Father.

"What do you mean?" He replied.

"Dad gave me the Bible last night and set up this appointment. I know he met with someone recently. Someone that probably told him a secret about me. I just want to know what Dad knows," I said quietly.

"Eric. You Father is worried about you. That is all. So I think it is a good idea we talk. I can help you." His words were soothing. I had wanted someone, anyone to offer me help for my sin for years!

"I lied to my Dad. Caused a guy who was good to my family to get fired. I saw Dad meeting with him at Nellie's. It's obvious Daniel told Dad the truth," I mumbled.

"How did you get this guy fired, Eric?"

At that moment I had a choice. To lie again. Or to finally verbalize what I had caused. But more than the sin of getting a guy fired, I had the chance to finally admit about my sickness. Because the sickness was the cause of everything. In a strange way I was excited. I wanted to tell someone. I wanted to finally say the words out loud about the things I had done.

"I let the guy suck my cock. When Dad found us together I lied and said I was being forced. I wasn't. I put my cock in that guy's mouth. I wanted to." Tingles coursed throughout my body. Even my crotch. It was a relief to say it.

"Why did you lie, Eric? Why not tell your Dad the truth?" He replied calmly.

I laughed, a sarcastic tone stuck in my throat. "And tell me Dad I liked guys to suck my cock? Are you crazy?"

"Why cost the man his job?"

"It was the only choice I had. I needed Daniel to get away from me. Daniel knew too much. I had to make sure he was gone," I replied with tears in my eyes.

"Tell me about Daniel, Eric."

I explained about Daniel working as farm hand. I told about how kind Daniel had been to me in my high school year. How he lived on the trailer out back and was almost part of the family. How bad I had felt when I got him fired. How I had seen him naked and felt the temptation.

"Did you touch Daniel? Was this attraction between you mutual?" Father Reilly asked.

"Yes. If he had stayed on the farm we would probably ended up as lovers," I said truthfully.

The tears flowed down my cheeks and I hung my head in despair.

"Why are you crying, Eric?"

"Because. Because I am fucking gay!" I sobbed.

Several minutes he allowed me to cry. And then I felt his hand on my shoulder as he handed me a handkerchief. His words were soft. "Eric, you are not gay. You are a growing man. All men have these feelings of confusion. You are only discovering yourself."

I looked up at him quickly and blinked through the tears. Light shone down on us from the chandlier the hung above us. I felt hope. I felt nothing but raw hope.

"Father?" I mumbled.

He bent at the knees and crouched next to me, and held my shoudlers. "Oh Eric. How long you been torturing yourself over this? How long have you felt desire for men?"

"It feels like all my life, Father," I mumbled.

"Eric. Have you been experimenting? Have you touched men?"

"Yes Father. Yes!" I almost smiled as I said the words. The relief to admit this was arousing to finally let out.

"Oh Eric. All this time you have been torturing yourself for no reason. You should have come to me all those years ago from your first thought of men. I could have helped you. You are not gay, my boy. You are a normal guy. You just need a place to express yourself. To admit your sinful thoughts. To let all your desires out. And you can do that here. Because you are safe here. Always. Whatever is said here is our secret."

He pulled me up and I gladly sunk into his arms. My own Father had never held me like that and I needed it Only Jeff and Todd had even helpd me. Now I was finally being held by someone who didn't want to trick or seduce me. He wanted only to help me.. Despite my muscular build and height I seemed to shrink into a little boy at that moment, and let Father Reilly hold me. I leaned on him and cried as he stroked my back and soothed my fears.

He became my refuge. The first week I met with him for 4 hour long sessions. The floodgates opened for me and I told him about my desires. I let it out. All the sickness flowed from me and I found a friendship in him. He was what I needed at that moment in my life. My own Dad could barely look at me and Josh hated me. I was ignoring Jeff's emails. Thad would never speak to me again. But I had Father Reilly.

He was kind and helpful. And at each session would remind me at the end I was not gay. I was going through a sexual discovery about myself. He assured me all men do this and that most of the men in the parish have met with him about these same feelings at some point. He even he admitted he himself went through a phase of confusion. For some it happens early in life. Others in teens, others in later adulthood. But none of it means a guy is gay.

It was like a blessing. I felt such strength and power. I knew I was sick, but it wasnt something permanent. I could become whole again and Father Reilly would hlep me.

It was on the 3rd week of my sessions in town that I saw the same scene again at Nellie's. My father and Daniel in a booth by the window talking. I felt the fear in my gut again, but I knew this time I had to find out what was going on. Instead of going to the rectory I turned and parked at the far end of the the diner lot and waited. Within 20 minutes my father strode out to his truck and drove away, as did Daniel shortly after. It was amazing seeing him again. The way he walked so confident and strong across the lot, the tightness of his jeans, the strong jaw line, the look of total masculinity. I used to feel stirrings in my crotch when i looked at him in the past, and they returned. I felt compelled to put my car into gear and follow Daniel's old truck.

I tried holding back so he wouldn't be unaware. Eventually the journey let out onto the southwest highway. About 2 miles out of town he turned into a small farm yard but slammed on his braks and stopped just into the driveway. His arm shot out his window and waved, motioning to me to follow into the farm lane. He was aware he was being followed.

Once I parked I watched him climb from the cab of his truck. There he was looking not a bit older or different from the day he left my family farm. The tight worn jeans with holes. The plaid shirt open to mid chest showing off the muscles chest and trim hair. The tan skin. The rugged handsome face. I got out of the car and stood.

"Eric. Good too see you," his deep voice said. He stood by his truck with a gulf of at least 20 feet between us.

"What did you tell Dad," I replied.

The look on his face revealed he was surprised I knew he had talked to Dad, but he answered. "Not much. We just caught up on some old stuff. Buried the hatchet I guess."

"He sent me to the church. Got me a Bible to read. I can tell he knows something," I said.

"I didnt have to tell him, Eric. He saw us," he said as he folded his thick arms over his chest.

"He thinks you forced yourself on me," I mumbled in reply.

Daniel laughed with casual calm. "Eric, come on. You still lying to yourself? Your Dad knows more than you think. He knows what he saw. It was obvious what we were doing that day."

"So you told him everything then."

"Listen, your father and I are friends. That was a long time ago. I'm over it. I have no grudge on you anymore," he said and stepped closer to my car.

"Don't go near my father anymore," I said, my voice shook with fear. Daniel knew too much and I just couldn't risk anyone knowing.

His arms encricled me and I rested my head on his shoulder. It was a familiar feeling to be back in his arms. His hands caressed my back and I knew like always that Daniel was a good man. He would never tell. Not really. "I missed you, Eric."

In his shirt I mumbled, "I'm sorry, Daniel. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. It's not your fault. I was playing with fire. I had no right to do those things to you," he replied and hugged me closer.

I pulled away and looked at him. "It wasn't right, Daniel. I shouldn't have gotten you fired."

"Eric, it's over and done with. Besides my life is better now. So much better."

He stepped closer and once again his arms encircled me but this time it was different. This cowboy was looking at me like he used to so long ago. I leaned in with him and our mouths met. His lips opened and we kissed deeply. Our tongues together like molten fire. The kiss seemed to last several minutes before finally we broke away. "I think I owe you that," I said as I backed up and peeled his arms off of me.

I knew even that was wrong, but as Father had said I was not gay. I wanted to try and kiss Daniel again from the second I had seen him. I wanted to test out how I could handle my temptation. I was a stronger man now. It felt good to kiss him but not feel that all cosuming desire to do more gay things with him. I felt my sessions with Father must be working. Daniel's arms reached for me and grabbed my waist, but then instantly dropped and he stepped back. I could see his eyes watching a truck coming down the highway. We stood in silence as we both watched the truck drive in and park. Out climbed a cowboy not unlike Daniel much. Rugged, similar tight worn jeans and a shirt open revealing a masculine chest covered with a cover of trim brown hair. His smile was broad and he came over and offered me his hand.

"Is this Eric?" He said as he shook my hand vigorously. I looked back at him and then at Daniel searching for an answer to who this was.

Daniel's arm went around the waist of this handsome guy and said, "Eric, I would like you to meet Cal. My boyfriend."

I felt like falling to the ground in shock. There before me stod a gay couple. Two handsome rugged coyboys smiling with complete and utter happiness. Daniel was gay!

"What?..." I mumbled in reply.

"Eric," Cal said, "come on in. I got some food in the slow cooker going and I need ot eat. Am sure Daniel does too."

He turned and started back toward the small farm house. I shook my head but he motioned for me to follow and kept walking straight into the house door.

"Eric. Come on. It's ok. Cal is cool and yes he has heard about you. I want you to meet him. He's a great guy!"

I followed and sat down at the old worn farmhouse table and had my first meal with a gay couple.

I barely ate. Instead I sat in rapt attention as these two men prepared the dining room table and loaded our plates with food. They were so obviously in love, touching and laughing, their bodies brushing so closely to each other with delight and happiness. Who would have known Daniel would end up like that. Gay men were fags with makeup and high voices. Not these two cowboys! I watched the men eat with gusto and talk, telling me the story of their life together. This was their farm, they both shared and work the fields together. They met not long after Dad had fired Daniel. They were a happy couple, unlike my idea of gay men. They were strong powerful men, the opposite of the dance queens at gay clubs and in drag shows I had seen aboout online. It was fascinating to see Daniel this way. Once Cal went to the kitchen to clean the dishes Daniel smiled at me and laughed.

"Eric. Don't look so shocked!"

"I can't help it. You are gay, Daniel? Are you sure?" I asked.

He laughed the loudest bellow. "Eric! Yes I am sure. I just didnt really live it fully till I finally met Cal. But Eric come on. You know how much I love cock," he said and winked at me.

"Does everyone in town know? Does Dad know?"

"Who cares. Eric, being gay is not bad. It's great actually. And fuck, you know how hot gay sex is!" he laughed out with pride.

"Well it was bad for me. All of that fucking summer was horrible for me," I replied, remembering the things he and I had done to Ryan and Todd.

"Eric, are you telling me you haven't accepted you are gay yet?!" He said with his mouth hanging open in surprise.

"I'm not gay, Daniel. Dad has me going to sessions with Father Reilly. I've finally figured it out. Father has even told me I was just going through a phase." I replied urgently trying to get him to listen to me.

"Oh Eric. Come on. You fucked Ryan! You fucked Todd! Come on! You are gay and probably the hottest gay guy I know!" He said, smiling at me and patting my knee. "Stop denying it and enjoy it!"

I stood up quickly realizing I was being mocked. Once again it didnt matter what I did or said, everyone believes I am gay. Only Father Reilly understands. And like an idiot I had skipped his session today just to follow Daniel?! I needed to get away from him. At that moment Cal walked back into the room.

"Dishes are done. I need to take a quick shower. Hon, you want a beer? How about you Eric?" He said, casually oblvious to the tension on my face.

"I'll get em, you go shower," Daniel replied as Cal left the room.

In the kitchen I snapped at Daniel, "I dont want a fucking beer. I am leaving."

"Eric. Calm down. Ok so you are still in denial about it. But don't go," he said as he twisted the lid off a beer from the frig.

"I have to go," I replied and headed for the door. Daniel hand grasped my bicep and held me in place. At the same time the sound of old water pipes rattled in the house and the splashing sounds of a distant shower could be heard.

"I missed you, Eric," he said again as he looked at me and set his beer on the counter.

"Let go," I said.

"I'm glad he's in the shower. I love that guy, but I fucking missed you," he said and pulled me up into his arms. His body seemed to wrap around me as his mouth landed on mine and he kissed me with wild passion. I struggled in his arms but he held me in place and forced his tongue into my mouth. I tried to resist, but it was useless. My mouth opened wider and I offered my tongue to his. Our kiss was intense and his mouth eventually moved to my neck as I panted and whispered "I'm sorry Daniel what I did. I'm so sorry." I never had really been that attracted to Daniel, but the intensity of him made my body quiver. He was a reminder of my past and it felt good to relive the passion with him, but my mind filled with thoughts as a realized he was so different from my gorgeous Todd, stud Jeff, or my black god Thad. YEt my cock strained in my jeans, just as hard. I felt the cravingg, the urge, the need to have sex with Daniel.

"What about Cal?" I whispered as I pulled at the straining buttons on his shirt. Once it was open I felt that familiar chest and kissed him again.

"We don't have much time," he urgently whispered back.

I answered by peeling his shirt down his thick muscled arms and grasped his ass in his jeans and ground myself to him. Daniel deserved this. After all this time I owed him so much.

"Oh fuck Eric. I fucking love your body!" His hand rubbbed underneath my tshirt feeling the muscles of my body, so different than he remembered. "You are so fucking hot!" My shirt was puilled from my body and our mouths met again. We kissed like bitches in heat and moaned together kissing deeper, our bares chest together.

"DANIEL!"

Cal stood in the kitchen doorway, wrapped in a towel staring in shock at the sight. Daniel stepped back and released me, in shock. There was no covering up the obvious. We were caught.

"Cal. Cal, I'm sorry." Daniel mumbled while trying to calm his excited breathing.

I knew it was my turn. I owned Daniel so much.

"Cal. It's not his fault. I did it. I followed him out here today. I'm sorry. Don't blame him."

Daniel looked at me, and back at Cal.

In his bare feet, Cal crossed the kitchen and walked up to us. I wanted to run but instead I stood frozen in place by the site of him. Cal was even more gorgeous than I had realized. Shirtless, his body exuding pure sexuality. His chest was muscled like Daniel. His skin wa bronze from field work in the sun. And the towel was pushed so low at his waist the line of his pubic hair curled out, beckoning me.

"It's ok," he said and slightly smiled and reached over and ran a finger along my jaw line lightly.

"I would cut off his balls if he ever cheated on me. But with you... well I know all about your past together. And I can see why." Cal ran his hand down my jaw and across my left pec to my abs. "So this one time I will understand," he said as he glanced at Daniel with a look.

I blinked in confusion and looked at Daniel. Then back to Cal. Cal moved his hand from my abs around to the small of my back. With his other arm he did the same to Daniel and proceeded to push us forward, back into each other's arms. Daniel started to kiss my neck as I looked into Cal's eyes. I had no idea what was happening but Daniel's lips sent shivers through my body. I closed my eyes and felt the pleasure. Daniel was licking and tasting me as Cal ran his hand up and down my muscled back, and slipped it in side the waistband of my pants. Eventually his hand engulfed my ass and I closed my eyes loving the sensation of these two men using me. Then we started to move. Slowly I let Cal lead me by the hand as Daniel followed behind me clinging, his lips sucking my neck.

In the small bedroom the door shut. I turned and slipped back into Daniel's arms and hugged his shirtless torso. I felt other hands at my waist and the rough scratch of chest hair on my back. Hands cupped my pecs from behind and a mouth began to suck at my neck as Daniel's tongue entered my mouth.

It took me several seconds to realize what was happening but I put up no resistance. My hands knew what to do and I pulled Daniel's zipper down. I grasped his cock that I had tasted so long ago. I felt my open pants opening and sliding down. Time stood still as Daniel stepped back and undressed in front of me. His nude body was an handsome and rugged as the last time I had seen him with no clothes. He was a total man covered with hair and strong with muscle. I turned to look at Cal who still had the towel at his waist. I knew I was not going to stop. I wanted this. I wanted to be with these men and nothing would stop me from having sex with them. I reached and open his towel and let it fall to the floor. His cock was more than I had hoped for. It hung semi hard, arching out and down, the thickness of a beer can. I instantly grabbed it and felt the heft and weight of the meat. His smile was all I needed as I stepped into his arms and kissed him with passion as Daniel pulled the my briefs down and finally all of us were nude.

Cal was unlike any man I had ever seen naked. The hair on his chest was so different and on his legs was thick. His bush was trimmed and the size of his cock showed me the bonus Daniel was getting from him. I remember thinking I am naked in a room with these 2 men. I have to do this. I want to do this. Father Reilly can help me deal with it later. All I knew at that moment was I was naked with two handsome men and I wanted it to happen. It made the memory of Ryan and Todd fucking my mouth and ass flash through my mind. I wanted to experience 2 cocks in my body again.

We climbed on the bed and began to have sex. It was a blur as mouths traded place on mine. My cock would be sucked and shared by both. Asses lowered to my mouth ad I tongued them. Cocks exchanged back and forth in my mouth. Closer and closer I edged. I sucked on Cal making his dick rise to full capacity. I could barely suck it all but I finally sohved it all in deep into my throat. I wanted his cock to own me. Daniel fucked Call from behind as I feasted on the meat. The sex was incredbile but I knew I wanted to give Daniel what I owed him. I pulled Cal's cock from my mouth and yelled out. "Daniel fuck me!" Immediately he pulled his cock out of Cal's ass and came to me. He took me in his rugged arms and the world seemed to disappear. Our eyes met and we kissed on that bed. Daniel said to me, "Are you sure Eric?" I looked backk into his handsome face and said, "I have owed you this for a long time."

"Fuck my ass, Daniel," I said. I had to give him this. To set things right.

I was flipped to my stomach and raised up on all fours. Cal positioned himself standing by the bed and gripping his hard meat. I took it and sucked as from behind pain tore throough my ass. It took several thrust before I felt that familiar pleasure of cock in my ass. I serviced those men like a whore. At that moment I felt like I was on drugs, high with ecstasy for sex. I didnt care what I was doing was gay, i just know I wanted more and more of it. I loved the feeling in my ass, and the flesh in my mouth was not enough. I wanted to consume these cowboys who were using my young college body to give them pleasure. The more they moaned the greater the thrill for me. I felt such awesome power knowing these men were literally abusing my body but yet I controlled them. I controlled their pleasure. I let Cal fuck my face as Daniel owned my ass and pounded it. The sex was fast and furious and the house seemed to be filled with only the sounds of our moaning voices and the slapping of their balls against my ass and chin.

Time melted away. Between panting and moaning I begged for Cal to fuck me too, so the positions switched and my ass was violated again but the pain was even more intense by the size of the dick inside. It wasnt long and I was riding easily and letting Cal fuck me hard. I don't even know when it stopped but eventually his big dick was back in my mouth and tasted my ass on it as Daniel began to fuck me again. It was an incredible high. I was having gay sex and I fucking loved it. Father Reilly could never rid this from me, I felt wild and out off control. The sex became verabl as I begged for more and the men used me, making me ask and plead. Eventually it was too much for us all and I felt Cal's dick pulsate in my mouth and suddenly I looked up at him and he looked down into my eyes and said, "Come on boy, take my cum, drink it bitch!" My throat fill with the hot blast of his cum and I swallowed like a baby hungry for milk. Seconds late I felt the blast of hot cum splash deep into my ass and heard Daniel's deep voice behind me, "I'm cumming Eric! I'm breeding your fuck ass! FUCK ERIC!!!"

As soon as it was over and the cocks pulled out of my mouth and hole I felt the blackness enter my soul. I had sinned again. I collapsed on the bed and shut my eyes but heard Ryan's voice in my head. He had called me a faggot in high school and I was becoming one. I was living out Ryan's words.

I got up from the bed and silently dressed as Cal and Daniel crawled into each other's arm and kissing romantically. I pulled my shirt on and watched the two rugged men naked on their bed kiss and stroke each other. Cal looked at Daniel with complete happiness and said quietly, "I love you, Daniel." It hit me at that very moment for the first time in my life that maybe being gay was not all that bad. That these 2 men loved each other. Honestly loved each other. Why was I so afraid of it? Why couldnt I lead the same life if that is what my body wanted?

I turned to leave them alone and Daniel's voice called out to me. "Eric! You dont have to go. Take the clothes off and come back. Come on babe...."

I looked back at them both. They were naked in each other's arms. I admit it. Part of me wanted to crawl in with those cowboys and let them use me again. But I had paid my debt to Daniel. I had to go.

As I strode from the house minutes later Daniel and Cal followed me to my car, naked in the sunlight. Their bodies gleamed with sweat. In the broad daylight Cal's cock seemed even more enticing. Before I could stop myself I fell back into his arms and our mouths met. I let him push me back and before I knew it we were both almost fully on the hood of my car, naked and making love again. Daniel watched as I eagerly accepted more sex with his boyfriend.

"I have to fuck you," he panted out and I willing let both of them remove my pants again. I loved being such a whore in broad daylight. I almost wished for traffic to come down that farm roads just to see me being the slut I felt like. Cal's cock plunged into me and I willing let my hole be used again. I held my legs up as Cal gripped my waist and pounded into me. I stared at him and loved the move of his muscled body as he motioned back and forth. I felt like a porn star, literally getting fucked on the hood of my car in broad daylight. I didnt care of anything but Cal's cock inside my body. I spread even wider and begged for him to use me more. t was only seconds and I felt more cum flow into me. I had been bred by both cowboys. With his cock still buried inside me Cal leaned down and we kissed passionately. I knew at that instant how wonderful Daniel's life had become. He had an excellent lover.

Dressed and grabbing my car door I head Daniel say, "Thank you Eric. You didn't have to do that."

"I owed you. I was a prick to you before and I wanted to set things right."

"You have," he said and smiled.

"You are welcome to come back again. Maybe even stay the night?" Cal said, standing before me, his cock still dripping.

I shook my head no and grabbed my car door. "No I was only paying Daniel back for all the shit I caused before."

"No, what you were doing was having sex with a couple of men. Because you like it. Just like you liked it with Ryan and Todd," he said, staring at me.

I looked at him and felt the guilt of my nasty faggot side taking me over. I hated what I had done.

"Eric. You can't change this. You are gay."

"Father Reilly will fix me," I said to myself silently, and climbed into my car. As I drove away I glanced at those naked men who were now in each other's arms. They belonged together. I belonged somewhere, I just didn't know where. In high school, in college, even in their bed I was alone with only my confusion, my lust, and my hatred for my desires.

Thanks to all the readers who asked for more. This chapter is for all the guys asking for Eric and Daniel to final be together. Hope you enjoyed it. Give me your thoughts or requests. You can email with your comments, questions, or whatever. Send them to mheast111@hotmail.com.