I'm Not Dying! By Darne Moon.
I'm not dying! is an adventure tale that contains graphic sexual content between men. If you are not permitted to read such content please refrain from reading any further. I currently don't have an editor, and do have dyslexia so please be patient with grammatical mistakes etc. This is the first time I've written anything of this magnitude in this genre. If you enjoy this first chapter of this story please let me know at darnemoon@gmail.com, and I'm always interested in constructive criticism comments and ideas.
I've also recently started a Yahoo Group, you can find it at: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/im_not_dead/ Hopefully see you there :D
Chapter 3
Waking up next to Ian was amazing. We were both naked. He spooning me, his arms wrapped around my chest. It was the first time I ever felt comfortable in this position. Normally I get hot and frustrated and fight my way out of the embrace. I love cold beds and cant stand it when there's someone else making it warm.
I also didn't have a strange dream. Waking up kicking and screaming... wouldn't have looked good. I thank the stars for a peaceful first night with this guy. The weirdness can start now, well maybe not right now. I try to wriggle free from his grip as I'm desperate for the toilet. With great caution I manage against all the odds to get free from Ian without waking him. I sigh with relief, OK now step two. I'm in the worst position to get the door, on the other side of Ian. I've got to step over him. I manoeuvre onto my haunches and stand. Ever so carefully I place my right leg over Ian. Excellent half way! Step three however doesn't end how I planned. Yet once again my friend Sod comes knocking and reminds me of his law. As I'm slowly raising my left leg up and swinging it over Ian I loose my balance falling with a mighty crash to the floor. Ian immediately leaps awake up looking about like a wild man.
"I'm down here" I say casually, now horizontal on the floor alongside the bed. Ian's head appears over the side of the bed.
"Oh, Hi... err, right I know I could be wrong about this" He scratches his head and rubs his squinting eyes, "shouldn't it be me who tries to sneak away?" I laugh, both at the comment and how cute he looks.
"Ordinarily yes, but well, I need to... see a man about a horse"
"Ahh" He replies, lying back down onto the bed, "do you want me to go?" he asks as I pull my dressing gown on.
"What? No, cup of tea?"
"Yes please" He grins and tucks his hands beneath his head. I take a moment to look at his body in the morning sun. Yep pretty damn sexy. I shuffle off to the bathroom to deal with business before brushing my teeth and running down to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
All around buildings begin to crumble and people are running as fast as they can from a growing green orb of fire. Those who are caught up by it instantly turn to dust. Another shock shakes the ground, and more buildings come tumbling down. Screams fill the air, and then I recognise one of the buildings. It's the White House, but half of it is burning, the other half demolished.
I find myself lying on the floor of the kitchen, my head incredibly sore. Ian, wearing only his boxers is knelt alongside me tapping the side of my face. My eyes focus on him. "What... the... fuck!" I mutter.
"I heard a thud and came down to investigate and found you, well like this. Are you OK?"
I groan angrily. "I... don't know. My head hurts" I say sitting up and clutching my skull. The kettle clicks, waters boiled!
"That could be from the fall"
"Christ I've barely been awake ten minutes and I've hit the deck twice! Today is not going to be good!" I start making the tea, and open the fridge for some milk, "I'm surprised your still here" I say with a nervous laugh.
Ian thankfully is chuckles lightly and as I'm stirring the milk into the tea he comes up behind me and hugs me, chin resting onto my shoulder. "I think it's cute" he whispers, "and I think your very cute" he turns me around and kisses me pressing his body against mine and starts pulling my dressing gown off. I laugh as he breaks the kiss and starts kissing at my neck. Something that has always sent me completely wild. It doesn't take Ian much to get me hard. Dropping to his knees he starts to suck me off. He rolls his tongue around my head and down my shaft as his hands slide up the back of my legs and clutch at my ass pulling my midriff to him. He swallows me expertly with little gag, I groan with lust as he slowly pulls away. He sucks on the tip of my cock a little before diving down once more. Another guttural moan escapes me. He continues this action a few more times before picking up the pace. One of his hands starts to play with my nuts as the other maintains its grip on my ass, his index finger teasing my hole. I can feel my orgasm building deep inside my groin, and he expertly draws it out. Just as I'm about to shoot in his mouth his toying index finger plunges deep inside me and finds my prostrate immediately. Before I can protest a powerful orgasm explodes from deep within me. Like a wrecking ball its thunders through my body. Jet after jet of cum is pumped into Ian's mouth and he drinks it down. After what must have been a century of cumming he releases my cock and stands up with a proud and satisfied grin.
"I needed that" He says cheekily reaching around me and picking up a cup of tea and giving me a peck on the cheek. I am left speechless, happy but speechless. He sits at the kitchen table, again avoiding my mums seat and I join him. Judging from the sun I guess its about 10am. I'm getting good at telling the time by the sun, its all due to my time spent in the garden, but there is a clock behind me, and I just confirm my suspicion, "You got anything planned for today?" He asks eventually.
"Other than seeing Mum, no" I say distantly. The last twenty four hours have been a bit of a roller coaster. I feel a bit drained, but then that could be because of the intense orgasm I just had...
"Well, how about I give you a lift down to the hospital and whilst your visiting your mum I'll go get changed and stuff and if you want, I'll meet you later?" I like this, he's sexy, caring, funny and practical. I nod. Finish my tea and start to get ready. An hour later, after we're both showered, and with minimal horsing around I'm dressed and so is Ian despite my best efforts to thwart him. Not before long we're on the road, cruising towards the hospital. I dread to think what's awaiting me, the Dragon's never really been that keen on hospitals, and once she's sobered up... christ... I hope they medicate her. A lot. We pull up at the drop off area and I hand the helmet to Ian. He can clearly see my apprehension and grabs my hand, holding it tightly. "Don't worry, your mum will be fine. Don't be surprised if she is a bit agitated. I'll pick you up in a couple of hours" I nod my head, feeling a bit like a kid at his first day at school. He watches as I enter the hospital and rides off.
Inside I'm directed by the receptionist back to the psyche ward. I'm surprised I have to press a doorbell and wait to be buzzed into the ward. Oh my god! What has she done, they weren't doing this yesterday. A middle aged female nurse appeared at the door and let me in. Her grey/blonde hair piled on her head like a dog turd held in place by gallons of hairspray and countless hair pins.
"Yes?" she asks as I walk past the ward desk.
"I'm here to see Miss Moon I'm her son, Alex"
"Yes!" The nurse begins to shuffle through the desk, "Ah yes Mr Moon. The psychologist has some questions to ask you"
"Oh no!" I mumble.
"Everything all right Mr Moon?" She looks puzzled, "This is just routine, nothing to be alarmed at" She begins to chortle, I fail to see how that was funny but I grin non the less.
"Can I see her before I speak to the psychologist?" She nods and leads me over to a bed by a window, the curtain has been drawn right around except for the view. I glance out of the window as the nurse pulls the corner away. In all fairness the view is quite nice, the immediate hospital buildings are a bit of an eye sore but then there's just rolling fields right up to the coast. I am suddenly confronted with the Dragon in all her dehydrated glory. I can't help but cringe. My mum is pale, eyes bloodshot, shaking and looks like she needs a bath.
"Miss Moon, your son has come to visit" Says the nurse.
"Hi mum" I say as cheerfully as possible. Her response is a grunt, refusing to look away from the window. I walk to the chair beside the bed and sit down, I try to hold her hand but she snatches it away from me.
"I'll leave you to it Mr Moon, I will come and get you when Doctor Thomas is ready for you" The nurse says and she walks off towards the ward desk.
"Bitch" My mum whispers raspily.
"Sorry mum?"
She rolls over so she's facing me, her eyes burning, hair sticking out matted and greasy, "I said: Bitch!" she spat venomously. Ah the joys. The Dragon is angry, "Why am I here in this fucking place?" She demands.
"You... you tried to kill yourself I rang the ambulance and they brought you here" I look at my feet this is much easier than face her glare.
"Well thank you very much!" She says returning her attention to the window, after a couple of silent moments I hear her crying. We sit not speaking a word for some time, until the nurse comes for me. Mother and I part without a word. The nurse points in the direction of an office and she walks alongside me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, "It'll get easier" she says softly before swinging open the office door. Dr Thomas was not who I expected, I am ashamed to admit I thought he would be a man, but he's not, he's very much a woman. She's quite plump, garbed in the typical white coat of her operation. A handful of pens sit inside her breast pocket. There's so many pens the pocket looks as if its about to burst. She has a pointed and beady little eyes framed with narrow glasses. She spoke with a proud self assuredness.
"Mr Moon I presume" She says with a chuckle as I enter, "Forgive me, I've awaited all morning to say that. Please sit, sit!" She half stands come stoops. Her head bowed arm projected beckoning me to sit. Once I'm seated Dr Thomas also settles down, leans back in her creaking office chair and steeples her fingers, "You may go nurse" Says the doctor and the nurse leaves. I watch the doctor curiously, "Your mother, interesting woman. Done anything like this before?"
Straight to business then, "Once, but my brother knows more about it, we were both working away from home at the time. He had to ring the police up here from London and get them to pay her a visit. She was passed out drunk, but the police were alarmed at the quantities of pain killers about the house"
"I see" she craned her neck upwards like a flamingo. Her many chins wobbling as she did so, "I'm afraid your mother isn't very well at all. However..." she begins shuffling madly through her desk and produces a rather battered notebook, "I don't think she has a substance abuse problem, which means there's something else wrong and this can take some time to solve"
"But she drinks lots... like a lot everyday"
"But she isn't dependant, I've been watching her closely since she arrived. Yes she's angry, ashamed even, but she is not craving alcohol or any other substance for that matter. She just wants to get clean go home and forget about all this. Sadly for her that wont be happening just yet. I've pulled her file Mr Moon, and I'm afraid its not good. There is a consistent history of mental illness and its not getting any better. I want to send your mother to a special unit a couple of miles away. There she will get the care she needs. They'll monitor her and find the right balance of medication for her. They are very good, your mother will be more than safe and after she's settled in you'll be able to visit" She smiles softly.
"But... people try to kill themselves everyday but they don't get sent away to an asylum for it. They get stitched up and given some anti d's and told to get on their way!"
"Ten years ago, yes maybe we did do that, but now no we have these wonderful facilities, and let me assure you they are not asylums! There are no lobotomies performed there!" Dr Thomas chortles to herself again, seriously the people in this ward have the weirdest sense of humour.
"How long?"
"That is dependant on your mother, I expect a woman with her spirit I would suggest six months, maybe less. Depends entirely how she responds to the treatment"
"I would like to see this "facility", and I will need to speak with my brother" I ask, my mind pondering how I'm going to manage this.
"I'm sure there wont have be a problem with you visiting the centre. I'll contact them right away, and of course by all means discuss this with the family" She smiles once more before her hands snake across her desk looking for something. She grabs at a small address book held together with plasters, sticky tape, blue and stitching it seems, "You may go" She adds finally.
"Thank you doctor" I say as I leave the little office. I'm stood once more in the ward and I want a cigarette, and I'll have to ring Charlie. I nod to the nurse and tell her I'll be back, I make my way outside as I check my phone. Ah, a missed call from my brother. I step into the outside world as I dial his number. He promptly answers sounding a bit out of breath. I explain the situation with mum as I light my cigarette and walk towards the little garden I had been looking at when Ian had first approached me. I explain as much as I could but before I even finish my brother cuts me off.
"Yeah that sounds good. How much is it going to cost?" He asks sounding really out of breath, is he exercising?
"Well I didn't... I don't think the cost factor is important!"
"When you visit find out, I doubt a place like that is free" His words are punctuated by the occasional grunt.
"Charlie, what are you doing?" I ask,
"Well..." And suddenly the penny drops. He's got me on hands free and he's... I cant bear thinking about it.
"You sick fuck, your fucking aren't you, and you answer the phone. What sick bastard does that!" I hang up in disgust. About eight foot away from me a little old lady clearly out for her mid day stroll smiles at me.
"I hate it when they do that to dear" She mutters. At first I don't process what she's saying I just nod and smile, but then... I look at her shocked but she's turned away from me now and heading back to the hospital. What is this world coming to I think. I finish my cigarette and return to my seat alongside the Dragon. We remain in our original tableaux for an hour or so, mum staring out the window and me at my feet. Eventually the nurse approaches me with a slip of paper and silently hands it to me. Like a panther my mum pounces.
"What's that?" She demands
"Nothing"
"Don't lie to me Alex, what is it?"
"It's a phone number"
"I'm not going, I'm not going to some fucking nut house you can't make me" I sigh, I don't know if we can make her or not but I have to try and convince her.
"Mum, it'll be good for you, it'll be good for everyone" I try with a smile.
"Oh that's right, it's all my fault. But no-one ever cares about me. Whilst I'm lying here, your off gallivanting with some tart of a nurse. I know Alex Moon your brother told me when he visited. At least he came and visited me last night!" She rants.
"Ian, Ian was a nurse caring for you he offered me a lift home"
"And the rest! Your just a selfish little prick. Did you even bring me a change of clothes or anything? No of course you didn't probably fucking your little nurse slut!"
"Hello Miss Moon" I hear Ian declare. I groan placing my head in my hands, he's appeared from behind the drawn curtain separating my mum from the rest of the ward.
"Oh is this him is it" My mum spits, "Been entertaining him have you?"
"Well I tried to raise his spirits after spending all day here yesterday" He says with sickening politeness.
"Oh you did did you, that's nice for you isn't it Alex"
"I think we should go Alex, your mum looks a tired" Ian offers
"Yeah that's right piss off! I don't need you anyway. I've got your brother he'll take care of me" I try to kiss mum good bye but she rolls away. When angry she often spoke like this, both Charlie and I had come to expect it, but we were never really capable of ignoring it. I feel drained and useless. As Ian and I make our way to leave the ward I quickly come to a decision. I trot over to Dr Thomas's office and when invited in I just pop my head around the door.
"We'll do it, send her to the facility. My brother will deal with everything. Thank you Dr Thomas" She nods with a smile and I catch up to Ian, and for the second time in two days we leave the hospital together, his left arm cradling my shoulders. I quickly tap out a text message to my brother:
Hospital want to speak to you. And I press send. There if my brother's going to look after her, he can deal with the shit. He replies moments later with: Fine. I'm on my way back to London some work has come in. I'll ring when I get home.
Outside the hospital I feel much better, like a burden has been removed from my shoulders. We both light up a cigarette and discuss our plans for the day. Avoiding at all costs any reference to mum. "How about we go for a ride around the country side on the bike, stop for some lunch somewhere then head back to yours and actually watch a film!" He suggests between drags on his cigarette. I agree and off we go. We spend a couple of hours riding around the Snowdonian National Park, stopping occasionally to admire the view. Its truly stunning. We stop in Beddgelert (pronounced beth gelert) for something to eat and have a typical pub lunch. I insist on paying as Ian had gotten my lunch the day before. He tries to argue, but I don't take no for an answer. We eat ice cream by the river and Ian skims rocks across the water surface. I opt out knowing full well if I try, I will maim or possibly kill one of the passers by. A duck floats by, and immediately I want to kidnap it and take it home. It takes all Ian's negotiating skills to point out to me carrying a duck on a motorbike already carrying two people is both ridiculous and totally dangerous. I relent but only after asking the duck if it wanted to come with me. I assumed it said no when it swam away. Eventually we decide its time to head back to my place.
The events that follow are very similar to the previous night excluding the alcohol. We chat for a while before we go to "watch a film". I'm starting to think this is going to turn into a euphemism to go fuck our brains out. This time instead of being pinned to the bed by Ian I am riding on top of him. Completely in control and I love every minute of it. I watch his face as I ride up and down his long shaft. Feeling him penetrate me deeply. It's a very different experience from last night, just as pleasurable but not as raw. It's slower but more passionate somehow. I relish it for as long as possible. I'd kept him on the edge for so long his eyes were alive with lust. I could feel his cockhead pulse and swell with every rise and fall. His grunts were getting louder and deeper, until finally the steady pace grew to much for him. He held my hips and held me still and thrust deep and hard into me, over and over again he pounded my ass, I was wailing with desire each time his long member probed my prostrate. I wanted him to cum inside me again. I needed him to. Once again in unison we cum. My cock spews ejaculate across Ian's chest and stomach. Each spurt stronger than the last till eventually I'm spent. I feel Ian's cock pump more and more of his juice into me. I can feel it like a warm glow deep inside me. I smile at him, and he at me. He pulls me against his chest. My cum sticking us together. His cock still inside me. We kiss for what seems like hours and eventually fall into a gentle sleep.
At sometime around 2am Ian's phone begins to bleep and buzz like crazy. It's so loud it wakes us both up. I had by now explained to Ian my feelings towards mobile phones so he excused my cursing of the buggering thing. I watched his face drop as he read whatever message he had received.
"Is everything OK?" I ask. He turns to look at me, his face ghostly white.
"Have you got a TV?" He asks, obviously noting the lack of one downstairs or in my room.
"Yeah mum's room why?" Ian is instantly up out of the bed and pulling on his underwear.
"What's going on Ian?" I ask starting to worry. I copy him and pull my underwear on and we both go into my mum's room. I switch the TV on and wait for the little box to pick up signal. As the channels load what I'm faced with I didn't expect. There on the TV right before my eyes is the dream I had this morning. Washington in ruins. Huge plumes of smoke and green fire rise into the sky. In the distance the White house is destroyed.
"The attack came moments ago. Four explosives were detonated in and around the White House. President Arnold Schwarzenegger Junior has been declared dead. Seconds after the explosions at the White House a series of long range missiles armed with bombs much like those that attacked New York City ten day's ago, bombarded the city, killing countless"
"Oh my god" Ian says, he looks at me and I him. I'm lost for words, I saw this this morning. How can this happen, how! He shuffles over to me and hugs me as we continue to watch the devastation, "This isn't good" he adds.
"I have just been informed that Britain has declared a state of emergency across the land. All flights, ferries, and trains are being halted. Anyone who was intending to leave the country in the next few days must report their local British Embassy"
"Holy fuck..." I mutter... I am suddenly profoundly glad I have Ian beside me, I don't feel quite so vulnerable. We perch ourselves on the edge of mum's bed and stay up the remainder of the night watching the horror as it unfolds. The news broadcaster interviews countless scientists and politicians. Discussing things like the composition of the bombs, what materials were used and where they were sourced. Who has access to the technology to create such weapons. Eventually I start to feel sleepy again and I must have fallen asleep on Ian's chest.
A lizard, a hen with two chicks, a dog, a cat and a Kuala bear are all sat on a green road. Before them a large black eye is staring at them. There is some tension between the group. The lion and hen stand together. The lizard is alone its eyes fixed firmly on the ground. The Cat and Kuala Bear are also stood separately. The two chicks are advancing on the black eye with an air of curiosity. Alongside the Black Eye a monkey appears. It smiles at the collection of animals and moves between each group stroking or petting them. Then he returns to the black eye. They seemingly converses for a moment before they start to follow the road. Reluctantly each of the animals follow, some more quickly than others. Except for the lizard, who seems incapable of movement. Both the Monkey, the eye and the cat go to investigate and the lizards feet are chained to the floor. With great effort the monkey, cat and eye prize the chain off and the troop begin their advance down the road.
I awake to find Ian is also asleep. We're both lying curled up around each other on mums bed. I shake him gently awake and he smiles bleary eyed at me. We get up and leave my mums room. Ian turning off the TV. In my bedroom I check my own phone and see I've for a missed call from my dad. I decide I need to see him. I had after all promised a visit but had been putting it off. Ian and I get dressed in silence and I leave him to find his shoes whilst I go to make some tea and toast. He joins me in the kitchen and I tell him of my plans to go see my dad. I try to decline his offer of a lift there but he insists, declaring he'd be very interested in meeting a man who would have a classic Bonneville in bits with no inclination of putting it together.
So after I tell dad I'm coming to visit we're off. Hurtling through the country roads like two free birds. My dad lives close to the welsh boarder about an hours ride from where I live, this is the longest time I've spent with Ian on a bike and I love it. The ride is remarkably smooth and before I even know it we're pulling into my dad's street. He lives in a very different environment to the one I'm now accustomed to. Living in a large estate of Georgian buildings. His I point out the house and we wheel in. It's a mid week and as I expect there's no one but my dad in. Wendy away at work and the twins are at school although by the time we get there their due back within the next hour.
My dad's family offer an open door policy, and I just walk in, Ian however waits outside much to my amusement. My dad greets me with a strong hug, and I find myself having to bring my dad to his front door to greet Ian.
"Dad this is Ian he's a..." I find myself stumbling over the last word is he my boyfriend after two days or just well... a friend. Ian thankfully comes to my aid.
"Friend Mr Moon" Ian adds, his smile could melt stone, "a close friend" my dad looks at me and winks knowing full well what a close friend means. He's known me long enough. He scans his car port and see's the bike.
"Is that a..." My dad begins advancing on Ian's bike.
"A replica Mr Moon but yes its a triumph Bonneville"
"Oh no, please, Dan, please call me Dan. It looks just like the real thing"
"Yep, I build it myself I bought the parts over the internet, I tried to make it as authentic as possible but well, I had to have some parts made" I watch Ian as he starts talking my dad through the construct from bolt to bit.
"Shall I get some tea in?" I ask in general as they're both deep in discussion about how Ian managed to calibrate this with that despite the changes from imperial measurement to metric. I take the two grunts to mean a yes. Minutes later I emerge from the house to find they've both moved from Ian's bike to studying the bits in my dad's garage. I hand the tea out.
"You never told me you have your CBT" Ian states surprised, I just shrug.
"Yeah he's always had an interest in bikes just never followed it through" My dad states a little bitterly, "But Ian... well... I don't know if I'm speaking out of turn" My dad takes this moment to give me a glance, "But I'd love to get this bike working again" My dad tries to nod casually towards me, thinking I wouldn't notice. For some reason Ian finds this highly amusing.
"Well some of the parts need sandblasting, and some of the pipes are beyond repair, but I know guys, I say if I ordered the parts in the next few days and we got the bits that need it off to the sand blasters we're looking at about a month before its up and rolling.
"Really! That would be amazing!" My dad states ecstatically.
"Yeah, sure leave it to me" Ian whips out his phone and begins snapping photo's and emails them off to his sandblasting friend I assume. We stand around drinking tea looking at the collection of parts scattered about the garage. My dad looks like the cat that got the custard... or whatever that saying is.
A loud raucous is heard around the corner. My dad frowns, and I smile. My turn to be the hero I must to myself, now that Ian has completely ingratiated himself with my dad. The twins burst onto the scene like two whirlwinds of terror. My step brothers have arrived.
The smaller of the two, Ryan instantly clocks me and wheels his push bike up to me. It's been sometime since I've seen them however their now young men in their eyes and the brotherly hug is no longer necessary or wanted. I nod as he approaches me.
"All right Ryan?" I ask, he nods. My two step brothers are identical twins but at this stage in life its quite easy to determine whose who. Or at least that's my opinion, even their mum mistakes them for each other. Ryan seems a little sulky where as Franco seems virtually buoyant. It doesn't take me long to figure out why. Ryan has been turned down once again by the girl he likes. He doesn't say as much but as he sort of mumbles the events of the day whilst his brother quite aptly depicts the reality of the situation through the medium of mime. My dad and Ian naturally are not paying any interest what so ever now completely engrossed in "bike" talk. Hell I find it great my dad is immediately accommodating the latest man in my life. Hell it's been sometime since I could say I had a man full stop... apart from Lee... I need to ring him.
I invite Ryan into the kitchen and he sits down on a stool and begins to tell me all about it. I give the appropriate umms and ahhs until finally he asks me what I would do. I smile, the first thing I would do if someone turned me down is shrug it off, not in an I don't care kinda way, more like she (or in my case he) don't know what she's missing! I tell Ryan, so what she's turned him down. He's fourteen, got a whole world of sexual adventures before him, and one little stuck up tart isn't going to change that.
"Who's the new guy" Franco asks bursting into the kitchen, clearly bored of prancing around the driveway like a tit on steroids.
"Ian, he's a friend of mine" I say nonchalantly turning my attention back to Ryan who is now sipping a cup of apple juice. Christ these kids are quick. "As I was saying Ryan, don't let it get to you, and don't let your twat of a brother get to you either" Franco is in the process of throwing tea towels at my head. I ignore him to prove my point. Feeling daring Franco advances to pick up the tea cloths that have fallen from my head, "that is of course... until you have them exactly where you want them" before Franco even has a chance to dodge me I expertly whip at his face with a tea towel. There is an almighty crack as the cloth is whipped back just before his eyes. Franco screams and bolts out of the kitchen unharmed. He had forgotten I am the towel whipping champion 2015. Ryan bursts into laughter. I love hearing him laugh. It warms my heart faster than any fire, "come on I want you to meet Ian"
"Is he... is he your boyfriend Alex?" Ryan asks.
"Honestly" I look at Ryan who responds my glance with an equally contemplation expression, "I don't know" I ruffle his hair. They were the last people I told I was gay. I was so scared, more scared than telling anyone else. I knew if I lost these two I don't know what I would do. Franco didn't accept it as well as Ryan. Even now a few years on Franco's a bit funny about the whole situation. I keep reminding myself their fourteen, life is so complicated at that time of life. I swear I feel like Ian and my dad should get a room. They're both talking so animatedly about the old bike its embarrassing. I decide to step in.
"Dad, you want me to start dinner for you guys?"
"Well why don't you both stay for dinner?" My dad asks, this is one thing I love about my dad's new family, there is always room for one more. I look to Ian.
"Sure, thank you Mr Moon that would be great" I roll my eyes and shake my head at Ryan who laughs.
"Call me Dan for Christ sake Ian! Ryan don't tell your mother! Well if you want to get things sorted that would be great, its just the chilli pasta is that all right... your not a vegetarian are you Ian?"
"No... no I'm not a vegetarian Dan, chilli pasta sounds great"
"No problem I'll get on it right away, Ryan want to help?" I ask and he agrees, "tell me Ryan, what's the Italian name for a chilli pasta?"
"Americana" he says with all the self assuredness of a fourteen year old.
"Close but no cigar" I say as I start to spark up, "Its an Amatriciana, and what goes in it"
"Erm... onion, bacon, fresh chilli, chopped tomatoes"
"And pasta" I offer with a hidden laugh.
"Well yeah" We start preparing the food. Well I say we, Ryan does whilst I sip my tea and smoke. I am however supervising the whole while. As we're just about to pop the bacon into the sauce I hear the bustle and mayhem of Wendy arriving home. She is currently fighting with the front door cursing as she goes.
"Go help your mum" I whisper to Ryan as I take over the stirring of the sauce. He rushes off to the a chorus of hellos. Where there's one there's the other and like magic Franco appears from nowhere greeting their mum home like a pair of love starved puppies.
"Hello, hello, hello, now one of you take this" Wendy hands over one of her enormous work bags. Wendy is as far departed from my mum as you can imagine. She is quite a busky lady with a mountain of blonde hair. She has quick blue eyes that don't miss a trick. Before she even reaches the kitchen door to find me I've located a bottle of red wine and pouring her a glass, "Hello you!" she decree's surprised to see me, "Come here" She rushes at me for a hug. Laughing I greet her. Moments later my dad appears behind me to welcome Wendy home, marginally disappointed to find she's already armed with her wine and is rapidly producing a cigarette. My dad gives me a playful thwack on the shoulder. I had apparently taken his job.
I turn my attention to the sauce when it suddenly dawns on me... Ian. He's stood outside looking a little lost and daunted. I hand the spoon over to Ryan who is rarely far away from me unless theres something interesting on TV or he's got a new computer game. I excuse myself and drag Ian into the kitchen.
"And whose this?" Wendy declares as he walks into the kitchen, as she removes some more wine glasses from a cupboard.
"Wendy this is Ian, Ian, Wendy" I say, as her eyebrow raises.
"Nice to meet you Mrs Moon"
"Ah, no Wendy please, we only use first names in this house unless your a tax man. Your not a tax man are you?" she asks jokingly
"Ian is a nurse" I reply, Wendy's eyebrow raises impossibly higher, then she smiles broadly.
"I take it your the owner of the death trap in my car parking spot" she says
"I'm sorry Mrs... Wendy I'll move it now" Ian starts suddenly embarrassed.
"No need! I'm sure the Land Rover can handle one night parked on the road. Glass of wine you two?" She asks us both. I look to Ian then look back at Wendy.
"Best not, you know... riding" I state.
"Nonsense! Your staying the night!" Wendy decides pouring us both a generous glass of red wine, our evening already a for gone conclusion. I look at Ian who shrugs and smiles then accepts his glass with a thanks. Wendy and my dad retire to the living room for their nightly chat and the twins disappear upstairs leaving the gays in the kitchen. I give Ian a quick peck on the cheek, and ask if he's all right.
"Why wouldn't I be!" he states playfully pinning me against the cooker.
"Well... I know its a lot to take in all at once!" I answer our faces close.
"It's great, honestly reminds me of being home" he says softly, looking deep into my eyes. Christ I've known this guy for little over 48 hours, he's survived my mum, impressed my friends, and ingratiated himself with my family. This guy has to be a saint! Don't fuck this up Alex I tell myself.
The rest of the night is pretty conventional. We all sit down for the evening meal around the dinning table. Wendy and Ian share stories about work. I chat with my dad about his pear tree and how its has a biannual harvest and that he needs to crop the flowers well before they go to fruit during the fruitful year to ensure a balance out the crop the following year. At 9pm Ryan and Franco excuse themselves for bed and its just the "adults" left. That's when my dad produces his evil schnapps. He bought it on a cigarette run round Belgium and the stuff is vile. However not one to be proven a weakling I drink the stuff without even a tear. Ian tries a small glass and is nearly coughing up his guts. Wendy politely refuses regaling us with the story of a friend of theirs who had to be carried out the house after drinking it. I have to admit I only had three glasses before I start to think I'm loosing my eyesight.
At midnight Wendy and my dad go to bed themselves, leaving Ian and me alone in the dinning room. We don't really speak, in fact I think I can't, but he moves his seat over to mine and he leans his head on my shoulder. We stay there like that for awhile before I invite him to bed. We head up to the spare room like mice with iron boots. When we eventually get into bed we kiss but don't take it any further despite our raging hard ons. I roll around in the bed for a while trying to get comfy before Ian grabs me bodily and pulls me close to him. I can feel the heat and hardness of his cock against my ass as he holds me and I feel utterly safe. He whispers good night into my ear and we both fall into blissful sleep.