I'll Be, Chapter 0
I'll Be:
Prelude
by Skyler
LEGALEASE: If you aren't of legal age to read this story, please go soemwhere else now. The Disney site might be a good place...
NOTE: Again, I'd just like to thank Andrew, my wonderful newfound blessing in the form of an editor! Your ideas, suggestions and constructive criticism have been extremely helpful! Thank you so much for the dedicated hard work and assistance! Also, to everyone who is reading this and replying, THANK YOU! Your words of encouragemet continue to be an inspiration! I am honored that you appreciate my work... Peace and love to all of you... -Skyler
"Dude, look at me!" No response.
"Say something!" Still no reply, as his eyes remained fixed on some random area of the wall. He seemed to not even possess the energy to blink as he sat there, perfectly still and totally silent.
This quiet time made Cam that much more uncomfortable. It was not as though the conversation they'd just had had been particularly easy for him, either. Suddenly, he felt like being sick, his nerves became uneasy, body slightly shaking, and fears of what would happen now quickly assuming dominant control of his mind. He either wanted to yell or cry.
Tyler, the silent one, looked like he was going to be sick. His skin gone pale as if he'd just been punched in the stomach; breath coming in short, shallow gasps. He didn't dare open his mouth for fear that he would actually puke. His head was spinning violently and Tyler wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh, scream, or cry. A very strange sensation, this feeling inside of Tyler, but one not unfamiliar to most 16 year olds. Taking these things into account, Tyler concluded it was far safer to just sit there on the edge of his bed and stare into space not uttering a word.
After all, how often is it that your best friend of nearly ten years, the guy with whom you had done everything, the one you kept no secrets from and who kept none from you, told you he was gay?
Cameron and Tyler had been best buds since elementary school. They did everything together. Same sports, activities, interests, hobbies and friends. Their families even went to the same church, just so they could hang out together more often. Neither one had ever done anything that the other didn't at least know about. There were absolutely no secrets between the two youths. That is what hurt both the most and neither boy was really sure what to do now.
Cam had agonized over the decision to come out to his pal for almost three years, ever since he had been sure of his true feelings. He had sincerely hoped that by doing away with this terrible secret, his conscience would lay off him and there would at least be someone he could talk to about this most scary and frustrating part of his life. Now he wondered if that idea had been wrong. Perhaps this would be the end of a really great friendship. Though losing Tyler was a prospect he could not stand. Without Tyler, there was nobody else in his life to turn to. No one else he could trust.
The silence was deafening.
"Ty, please…. Say something, man!" Cam desperately squeaked. Pleading seemed weak at best, but sometimes we do things merely for necessity's sake.
However, words did not come yet to Tyler Jacobs' mouth. It wasn't as if he'd been dumbfounded or surprised by his friend's admonition. In truth, it made sense and Tyler had suspected the possibility for quite some time now. He just didn't know what to say and was still shocked, at least a little, that Cameron had actually admitted to it. The question that ruled his mind was: Does this change anything between them, and does this alter anything, or the implications of anything, that they'd done or discussed over the years?
These were the fears that plagued his mind at the present, and they were causing him to replay their entire friendship over in his head. He hated himself for doing it, but it just had to be done, if only for his own peace of mind. Until that concern was satisfied, he couldn't respond to his friend's pleas.
Still, he harbored one more bother. This issue troubled him more than any other with the sudden new development in their relationship. He couldn't help but wonder about Cameron's real view of their relationship. In truth, his biggest fear could come into focus any minute. Tyler, though he'd always dismissed them as natural hormones and adolescent exploration, had often found himself very attracted to Cameron. What did that mean now? What did it say about Tyler and his own sexuality? This could be a real problem.
The only sound in the room was the faint murmur of the stereo system in the background. Otherwise, all was still in Tyler's bedroom. Tyler remained in his position, seated silently on the edge of his bed, blankly staring at the wall. Cam sat on a chair off to his side, at his computer desk, staring nervously at Tyler.
"Dude, I should go. Give you some time to think about everything." In defeat, his voice betraying the words he spoke, Cameron rose after several moments and grabbed his car keys from the desktop as he moved to exit the room. This definitely had not gone as he'd hoped it might. Maybe his bud just needed some time to adjust. If that were the case, he would understand and be cool with it.
"Hey! Don't leave yet. Do you have to go?" Tyler's voice almost squeaked on his last words, surprising both boys. His head was spinning madly because of this new information. He was very confused, but knew one thing for sure: If he let Cam walk out the door at that moment, things would never be the same between them. They would grow apart and, although he was very confused, Tyler knew that to be one thing he could never allow happen.