Copyright © 2010 by Jaden Lane, All Rights Reserved. Permission to post electronically is given to www.nifty.org and its affiliated mirror sites only.
This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to any person, place, or written works are purely coincidental. It may contain consensual sex between young men. Do not read if you find that objectionable or if it is illegal for you to view this content for whatever the reason.
Sorry this chapter took so long, a huge part of the reason is that I've published one of my other stories "In This Cruel World". Yay :) (I'm very excited!) Direct links can be found on my MySpace page.
Also, if anyone's seriously interested in helping me edit, I could definitely use a second set of eyes to look for the typos that I miss and later cringe at when I scan the story online.
Always love to hear from you, please let me know what you think @: phantomscorpio77@gmail.com or stop by to see how the writing progress is going @: www.myspace.com/phantomscorpio77. Cheers, Jade.
).:.(<<
If You Could Read My Mind
Tuesday morning is a struggle for Neville that starts with a fitful sleep back in his own bed. It's not that his bed is uncomfortable; he long ago got used to his bed and knows it could be much worse. While not soft and warm like a real bed, Bailey's for instance, over time he has come to find his nest of towels and shredded newspaper comfortable enough. What keeps him up most of the night is a cough and sneeze that started yesterday and is getting worse, capped off with a pounding headache. Getting through first period Biology is a chore.
Sitting in History class Neville tries to think of when the next woman's game is. Spying on them doesn't interest him in the least, but rifling through purses for pills really seems like a great plan right now. Of course he has some money, but even the generic brand cold and flu pills are more than he's willing to part with. The girls high school team isn't likely be carrying the pills that grown women tend to have at the ready so their Tuesday and Friday practices won't help. Unfortunately for him, relief is days away as Thursday is women's hockey night at the arena.
"Damn it," Neville says, unaware that he spoke the thought out loud like so many times before, but aware that the few people around him look his way all the same. One of the reasons people think he's weird is that he sometimes talks to himself. Not full on conversations, just unaware that he thinks out loud sometimes. Living alone for two years will do that.
Folding his arms on his desk he lays his head on them. Paying attention today just isn't in the cards for him. He'll have to read the chapter in the textbook over again and try to focus on it tonight. Minutes later his own coughing fit wakes him from a light sleep. Sympathetic eyes from the teacher causes him to raise his hand.
After finishing her train of thought Miss Theodore nods at him, "Yes Neville?"
The fever-headache he's battling causes him to look like he's wincing in pain, "May I be excused ma'am?"
"You may, pack up your things and I'll give you today's work," She answers, "Class, go to page 32 of the red textbook and read quietly."
By the time Miss Theodore has transferred her notes to the chalk board Neville is ready to go. She gives him her hand written class lesson and indicates the two questions he is to answer. After thanking her Neville makes his way out of the room. He can't go to the arena yet, it's too early and he'll be too suspicious. He can't go to the library as he should be in class or at home. Barring either, his first choice is to sneak into the storage room of the small gym and curl up on the stack of floor mats or the crash pad used for jumping. Walking down the gym corridor he can see both large and small gyms are in use.
Not stopping at the gymnasiums he continues on to the school pool. The overhead fluorescent lamps are off, only the submerged lights in the sides of the pool cast any brightness to the room. Just like every other room in the school except the chemical storage in the science hall, the door latches are set so that they can be jimmied from the outside, thus students can't really lock them from inside. Using his pocket knife behind the strike he pries the door open and enters. The humidity of the room hits him instantly as he sneaks across the deck to the bleachers that are out of view of the hallway windows.
By the time he reaches the top corner of the bleachers his sinuses are already starting to clear. Dropping his book-bag on the foot well for the top row of seating and propping it against the wall, he bunches his coat up against it for a pillow and thinks, `Finally I can breathe. Maybe now I can get some decent sleep.'
Less than an hour later Neville is woken by giggles. Sitting on the bottom row of the bleachers, Josh's girlfriend Kelsey is lighting up a cigarette with another girl from their grade named Tara. Hoping he wasn't seen he ducks his head back below the raised bench in front of him and tries to not make any noise. Tara leaves after the cigarette and some nonsensical girl chatter that Neville can't even follow.
Kelsey urges her to get to class and says she'll be right behind. Once Tara leaves Kelsey walks up the rows of seating and leans across the row that Neville is concealed behind. Both Neville and Kelsey just stare at each other for a minute.
"Come here often," Kelsey asks with a raised eyebrow and a wink.
Neville's completely unaware that Kelsey was trying to be funny and pretending to pick him up, "Uh, no. You?"
"Yeah, this is where we sneak a smoke when the pool's closed during the day. Don't tell Josh. He hates me smoking," She says with a pouty expression.
"Uh, yeah," Neville answers.
"Wow, the cat sure did a number on you," Kelsey jokes as she sits and crosses her legs over so that nothing is revealed under her skirt.
"Funny. It doesn't have my tongue, but it sure would be a good excuse at a time like this," Neville says, sitting up and leaning against the wall so that he can look Kelsey in the face better.
Kelsey sighs, "Look, I'm sorry I got you banned from McDonalds. I didn't know then that those other guys set you up. How was I to know?"
Neville bites his lip. Kelsey has him feeling worked up. He gets anxious as he thinks, `Getting set up to look like I was stealing that food from McDonalds was payback for stealing Josh's hat. Not that I'll ever admit to anyone that I stole the hat from Josh, but if I'd only known at the time that it was his I would never have stolen it to begin with. Of course the theft Kelsey is talking about was when Josh's friends Aaron and James had me convinced that if I said I was friends with Josh that Kelsey would slip me free food. Just order like normal and when the food's ready meet them outside, then one of them will go in and so on, they told me. How stupid was I. Thankfully as mad as he was at me Josh paid for me rather than let me face whatever consequence I may have. And I paid him back with another punch to his face when he confronted me.'
"Aaron and James set me up, I swear."
"I know. I didn't then. I should have known that you didn't have enough money," Kelsey pleads.
"I had money," Neville contends.
Kelsey smiles, one of the pity smiles he hates, "They checked your pockets, remember? You didn't have much more than a dollar fifty. Good thing Josh helped you out."
"Can't you just let it go? That was over a year ago and your managers still won't let me in. God, you're such a, never mind," Neville trails off. Beneath the cold that is bothering him he's feeling the acid in his stomach churning.
Kelsey nods her head, "Bitch. You can say it. I was a bitch. You know, you're pretty good looking when you want to be."
Wanting to send Kelsey on her way Neville tries, "Uh, thanks. Look, I won't tell Josh I saw you smoking in here if you don't tell anyone I'm skipping class and getting some sleep in here. Deal?"
"He's not into you, you know," Kelsey says.
"Get lost bitch! I'm not gay," Neville protests.
"Whatever. Just stop staring at Josh, it bothers him. And yes, we've talked about it," She reveals.
"Don't know what you talked about; there's nothing to talk about. I don't like him that way," Neville continues.
"Then why do you always look at him?"
"Get real. All summer long everybody sees him without a shirt on and in just his shorts; hopefully for you you've seen his whole body. Anyway, look at him and then look at me. He's built and I'm a bone rack. You would want his body too if you looked like me. Hell, you'd want his built body too even if you had an athletic body like his friends. And then he's a nice guy too with lots of friends and stuff, and then there's me."
"Oh! So you're just jealous?"
"Yeah. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins and try as I may, unfortunately I'm not above it at times."
"And that's all it is," Kelsey asks, believing that Neville is embarrassed for wanting to look like Josh and be social like him.
His embarrassment is real, just not for the reason he's admitting to, "What I said isn't it?"
"I'm sorry. So why don't you ever hang out with anyone if you want friends? Like you sort of talk to Brooke, Bailey, and Megan, and only ever sometimes with Josh before that. How's a girl to ever think you're not gay and maybe even hit on you if you never talk?"
"Are you hitting on me?"
"No. I said you're pretty good looking earlier, and yeah, somehow you've gotten cuter since Christmas. But I'm with the guy you want to be! I didn't mean it that way, I just mean you understand because you want to look like him, so you can see why I'm attracted to him."
Neville bites his lip in an almost lustful look as he nods his head in agreement to Kelsey. He thinks to himself, `You might want to put a chastity belt or something on him then Kelsey. He's also seventeen and horny. I don't know what you two do together but I know his boner acts like a lightning rod to every pretty girl! And if there's a chance of being with him that way, whom in their right mind would turn him down. Not me! I think deep inside we both know that he's messing around on us.'
"See, there you go, all quiet again," Kelsey gently says with a chuckle.
Rolling his eyes Neville stretches the truth, "It hurts to talk, alright? I have a damn headache from this cold that feels like it's splitting my skull in two. In fact I think I'm going to go to the pharmacy and get something for it right now."
The truth is that he's afraid to talk to her because he doesn't know what to say. A good social life hasn't ever ranked high on the priority list to Neville since he left home, even if he was willing to risk one. Without a word he gets up to follow through on his statement of heading to the pharmacy. Kelsey gets up with him.
He turns to her, "See ya. Oh yeah, great talk. Based on our past I'll schedule our next chat for when, Graduation?"
"You're the Boo Radley of our school that never talks to anyone. If you've ever got something to say, I'm all ears. You can start now. Like what's the story between Megan Flannigan and you for starters! Rumours have it you have your first girlfriend. I'll accompany you to the store and you can tell me all about it, it looks like I'm too late to sneak into class anyways," Kelsey says to Neville and punctuates it with a wink.
"Uh, whatever," Neville says, completely caught off guard that she's suddenly paying attention to him.
A few blocks away and numerous repeated professions later that he and Megan are just friends, Neville is blown away by the prices he sees in front of him. With Kelsey beside him he just wishes she'd go away. All of a sudden now that he has friends in Brooke, Bailey, and Megan he's worthy of Kelsey talking to him. More so she's after non-existent dirt. He rather preferred when he was below her notice.
"Uh, I just want to ask the pharmacist something, why don't you go for another cigarette and I'll meet you outside in a second," Neville suggests, his hands full of different cold remedies.
When Kelsey is out of sight Neville pockets a box of cold pills and takes a much cheaper bottle of cough suppressant and a 4-pack of cough candies to the register. Stealing is a hard habit to break, and he wants to stop, but he also rationalizes that he's homeless, `What little money I have now isn't nearly enough to rent even a cheap dive yet. I can't afford to have this stupid cold.'
Getting to the cash register he has a change of heart, `Aw shit. She's got to be like retirement age and I keep stealing from her little store. I wonder if she's caught on yet? Does she know every time I buy toothpaste from her that a more expensive toothbrush disappears from her inventory?'
Looking the pharmacist in the eyes he says, "Uh, ring those through please. I think I'm going to go back and grab a box of pills too."
Walking all the way back to where he got them from, he pulls the box from his pocket and pretends to take it from the shelf. Feeling much better about himself as he returns, he puts the box on the counter, "Will these help me not feel like death warmed-over?"
"No. But they'll help with the cold," the kindly lady jokes. While her accent always makes Neville smile it's the first time he's been in her store that he's bothered to listen to her rather than worry he doesn't get caught stealing.
This time he actually engages her, remarking on the province he thinks they're both from, "A Bluenoser are you?"
"Cape Breton before we opened shop here over thirty years ago. It takes one to know one, even one so long removed. How about you?"
"Just upalong Halifax. We had rolling fields of emerald and gold that met the coolest forest of different yellow, green, and purple maple trees on one side and kissed the bright blue sky on the horizon where it blends into the deep blue of the ocean on the other side. The red-brick house, the blackwood barns, the cows in the fields, the white gazebo in the middle of the pond; I can see it all so clearly in my mind's eye. Sorry to fill yer boots with memories but the sun never felt better than when I was soaking up those breath-taking views from the top loft and daydreaming my afternoons away."
Responding to a few phrasings Neville uses, the pharmacist volleys back another Maritime saying, "Well, doncha know?"
Neville leaves the store with a smile and thoughts of home as he trudges through slush and snow on the sidewalk to meet up with Kelsey. He's not scheduled to work today so after walking back to school with Kelsey he heads for the arena next to it and makes his way unseen to his bat-cave. He takes the pills with a can of V8 he stole from the diner a few nights ago when Josh walked home with him in the ice storm. Along with a no-name can of tuna fish, he eats a can of soup with more than half his supply of salted crackers that he's been stealing handfuls of in his pockets every day when he works. Deciding the pills aren't doing anything, a shot of the night time cold suppressant he bought combines to do the trick and he finally manages to fall into a deep sleep.
Waking hours later he seizes the opportunity to use the facilities in the next room as soon as a group of early teenage boys leaves it for their game. After relieving himself he opts against a shower and raids the hockey bags and hanging clothes. He doesn't come across anything he can use so he satisfies his urge to steal by pocketing a 20 sided dice from one kid's pocket and heads back to his bed and reflects on his conversation earlier in the day with Kelsey.
`Of course I like Josh. Maybe I like Bailey more now, but he's hunky and cute and I'd still pay for a chance to get to be with him. Too bad he sits out of my sight on the bench all the time lately when he changes for hockey. He still showers at the arena but he always has a damn towel hiding the merchandise. I'm going to suffer withdrawal soon if I don't get to spy on his nice meat and potatoes or his dimpled lily-white butt. Kelsey my girl, no, I won't tell on you for smoking to him. Just like I didn't tell you he bums cigarettes off of Brooke and Megan at the diner and even has a pack of his own there now. More importantly you silly girl, I won't tell you that I'm wearing one of his undershirts right now and sometimes sleep in certain gear I've pilfered from his hockey bag!'
).:.(<<
Throughout the school day Bailey obsesses over Neville more than usual. One little detail from the day before has been on his mind ever since it happened; Neville kissed him! Waiting for the last bell of the day to ring and release him from school he relives the moment again, `It was just a peck, it doesn't mean anything. Guys kiss like that in some cultures. Still, I haven't noticed it to be part of the culture here on the island. I can still feel his lips on my cheek! Did I close my eyes when he kissed me? I think I did!
Then he ruined everything and followed it up with a disclaimer that it didn't mean anything more than thanks; just a physical expression of gratitude. By mistake I think he put it and said it's kind of gay. That was right before he went as pale as I remember him when we first met. Does that mean anything? Like if he blushed instead would that indicate embarrassment? Or maybe that he likes me? Blushing usually means one or the other, right? But going pale, what does that mean? Mortified by his action? Is that because he was disgusted or because he likes me and doesn't want me to know? When does he work next? Friday? I wish I could slip something in his chicken noodle soup that would make him tell me if he likes me too! That would still give me time to buy him something for Valentine's Day. What should I get him? I've never seen him eat anything sweet, maybe flavoured condoms?"
Later that night after Josh has left and Bailey and Megan are finishing off the daily clean-up Megan notices his sullen demeanour, "Come on Bailey! What the hell's wrong with you, Josh just pranced his thoroughbred ass out the door and you didn't even peak? I'll crush your balls if you tell Brooke but even I'd bed him. Got Pancakes on the brain do ya?"
Looking around to make sure no family members have come downstairs Bailey gives in, "He kissed me yesterday and said it didn't mean anything. Just his gratitude and then I think he looked disgusted that he kissed me. It was only on the cheek but for a second there Megs, I thought that the cutest, sweetest boy in the whole world might just like me in a more-than-friends way. I know I promised everyone I wouldn't go all boy crazy here but it fucking stings about as bad as Jeremy denying I ever was his boyfriend."
Megan leans over the counter and shares, "Brooke and I aren't the only ones that know you are into him. Hell, if Josh has any sense even he sees it too. This whole set-up is so backwards! Brooke and I can't even flirt at school or work but Josh gets to drool over girls and has all but touched my breasts. Neville drools over Josh and gets boners he tries to hide behind his server apron. Oh yeah, he's as gay as you. And the boner's a nice one too, yes I look. You drool over him, but we already know you're a 'mo. I say if you want his to play with his boner you should have turned the kiss on the cheek into a kiss on the lips, chicken-shit!"
"You think he's cute? I jabbed him a couple nights ago, I think he's skinnier than we even thought," Bailey suggests.
"Yeah he's a little cutie. Brooke already told you, we can fatten him up. He checks you out all the time too, especially now that you've totally shed the gut. Some days we have to follow him into the back to get what he forgets when he steals a look at you," Megan says and punctuates with a sly grin.
Bailey sighs, "I don't know. I don't get why he does this to me. Yeah, I think he's like, totally adorable. And hung, I sorta checked and the bulge is all him and isn't just prominent because the rest of him is so thin. I'm more than a little worried how much bigger his boner as you put it can get than it already is just hanging loose! But then he'd be like holding a skeleton or something. So his body is iffy. But he's so sweet and polite and says the cutest things and oh my God, I just get so madly in love with him and I've never felt anything close to this. Even when he insults me my heart just melts. Brooke's right, I am so screwed!"
"Well use me as your cover," Megan offers.
"Huh? Why," Bailey asks.
"Just the other day I was informed from my best friend in the whole world Kelsey that word in the halls is that he likes me. We can do a bait and switch. Unlike your sister I still find you guys fun enough. Not enough to marry, but I may just go after him myself for you," Megan says, sarcastically mentioning Kelsey for being a bit of a busy-body.
"You'd do that for me? Not that it would work," Bailey considers.
"No, I'm not going to mind-fuck a friend for you. Oh Bailey, you're so dumb sometimes! You have to attract him into your bed on your own," Megan says and sticks out her tongue before turning back to the last of the food she's wrapping.
"Just remember someday when you and Brooke want a kid and you want it to genetically be both of yours I'm the sperm donor you've asked to sleep with," Bailey says and sticks his tongue out at her in return.
"No, I think your response was `ew, yuck' and to almost vomit and faint. We're sure it would take a threesome with Neville to coax anything remotely genetic out of you," Megan says while placing a pie plate back in the display counter.
"How can you be so liberal. You talk about sex like it's nothing," Bailey questions.
"Half the world has a penis, you're not the only one. Talking about sex is nothing, don't be such a prude. Brooke used to be just like you. But we're curious if Pancakes gets to put his in you or you in him. Well, not so much Brooke, but I think it's kinda hot."
"I am so not having this conversation. You're right bonkers, you know that?"
"And that's why you love me so much; I ignore all the inhibitions that you clam up over like wanting to feel Neville inside you! Plus I'm not afraid of the dark," Megan says, hitting the light switch and running up the stairs.
Bailey shouts up after her, "You're such a hag!"
Stopping near the top step Megan fires back, "Try that the other way around! You're my fag hag, I've got bigger balls than you. Yup, you're my bitch, Bitch!"
"Ah, another civilized conversation I see. How refreshing," Cathy comments as she looks up from the television.
Megan smiles, "Yuh-huh! I was just telling Bailey that's why you all love me. Speaking of; if Scaredy-cat starts screaming like a girl down there it's because I turned the lights off on him."
"He should be fine, I think he's comfortable with the house now, no thanks to you," Cathy observes.
Megan knows her limits, she also knows Cathy enough to know this isn't pushing the boundaries, "Yeah, but it's funny isn't it? You're son is the biggest girl of the three you hatched!"
Taking the cash box from Megan, Cathy agrees, "Lord help me for saying this, but it is a little sad. How'd we make out tonight?"
"Alright, sort of slow. I think everyone's sick of the weather already. On the plus side, that group of teachers from school are going to make every Tuesday night here their ladies night after their department meetings, so you better not stop making squares on Tuesdays. I think they ate more than half a pan and even insisted on paying for their coffee refills. And that old couple were in again, can't get enough of the toasted roast beef sandwich smothered in cheese and gravy. They asked for the polite lad from Nova Scotia and almost left because he wasn't working today. I guess they know Neville, the lady gave me some penicillin to give him. I had no idea he's from there, did you?"
Cathy perks up, "No. That reminds me though, I still need to get him working on his social insurance number for me. How much is in the deposit?"
"Only three hundred and change. Worst day yet, but it looked like a ghost town all night. No one's going out. Even the school looked like one in three kids weren't there today. Speaking of which, how's Brooke been?"
"You might want to sleep in the spare tonight, I don't know what's coming out of her more tonight, phlegm or cussing," Cathy advises.
"Oh great," Megan rolls her eyes.
"Worse than usual tonight. I can't think of a time in my life when I was ever that moody, and I know I could be hard to handle when I was your age. I used to think Bailey was so fragile because she was so tough, before we caught on he's just delicate in general."
"Yeah? Well this delicate flower would like to catch the end of the manly Tuesday night Leafs game. You know, because I love the sport and not just to stare at the hot guys. If you need me I'll be in my room watching it. By myself, with the door open," Bailey says over his shoulder as he walks past Megan and his parents.
"Don't forget the night-light," Jonas teases.
"I hate you people. And next time find a place with more stairs. I don't think the twenty five up here or the twenty two upstairs are enough. Oh yeah, there's another two up to my room," Bailey jokes as he makes his way through the living room and rounds the corner to the wide staircase with its accent lighting neatly hidden behind the wide wooden railing.
In his room Bailey strips to his boxers and picks up the pillow that Neville held onto a couple nights ago. As he watches the remaining minutes of the game on the couch he hugs the pillow. After the game he has a shower and takes the pillow to bed with him, wishing it was really Neville and not just a pillow he held tightly.
Elsewhere in the house Megan does her best to soothe Brooke before she goes to bed. Brooke is sleeping well for the moment so Megan cosies up next to her lover and holds her as she drifts off to sleep. She's sure Brooke will wake and push her away at some point, feeling too hot or uncomfortable. But until then she can snuggle and take solace in the strength of her relationship with Brooke while others seem so lost.
).:.(<<
For the remainder of the week Neville avoids any contact with Brooke, Bailey, and Megan. The only exception is the classes they share together, but he plays up his cold as the reason he's so withdrawn. He knows he has to work with them, but he doesn't know how to deal with what he's done. He really wishes he hadn't kissed Bailey, because since that kiss he only wants more. He wants something he can't allow himself to have. He's even spent some time trimming and taming his hair again, wanting to look good for Bailey. On impulse he's gone so far as to steal a tube of hair styling paste out of the hockey bag of a morning shinny player.
The next day Neville works with Josh is Saturday. During a lull in the afternoon Neville steps out back with a small plate of banana pancakes. Josh grabs his pack of cigarettes and joins him.
Stepping out onto the back loading dock he notices Neville smiling, something he's seeing a lot more of lately, "You've got something on your face."
"Where?"
Josh smiles too, satisfied to have Neville going, "Just above your chin. No, a little higher. There, you got it."
"Thanks," Neville says sheepishly.
"No worries," Josh throws back as he lights a cigarette.
"So much for the fresh air once again." Neville inclines his head towards the just lit cigarette, "When'd that become more than a once in blue moon thing? You're always so health conscious."
"Yeah, you're right," Josh says and butts out the cigarette. Social smoking is more his way of fitting in.
Neville takes the pack and lighter and tosses them in the dumpster a few feet away.
"That was like, two hours' pay," Josh says, not entirely mad that they're gone.
"Think of it as buying yourself two pink lungs for the low cost of one hours' pay each," Neville tries to get out through a mouthful of pancake.
"It's bad enough Megan calls you Pancakes. You're going to turn into one soon," Josh says and attempts to take the second pancake off the plate from Neville.
"Hey! Throw that in the garbage and I"ll...oh, sure help yourself," Neville says when Josh crams the whole pancake in his mouth.
Both boys sit on upturned milk crates in silence for a couple minutes until Neville gets up to go back inside. Josh grabs him by the arm gently to stop him. Neville instantly feels panic, wondering what Josh is about to say or do, but doesn't show it.
"I need to apologise to you," Josh starts, not sure just how to say what he wants to say, "So Kelsey says you're not gay? Sorry Nev, I feel like an ass, I almost thought you had a thing for me. Well, I guess you do sort of, but not like that. Look, if you want to work on your body some we could hit the gym together you know?"
"Uh, I can't waste my money on a gym membership. Even the YMCA charges too much for my liking. Thanks though," Neville carefully ignores the question of his sexuality. As for the YMCA, he has looked into the price of a monthly membership, not for working out but for the benefit of the washroom and showers.
Josh shakes his head from side to side, "We can use the one at school; it's what I use and it's free."
"Maybe. I don't think your friends would want me around," Neville says, reaching for an excuse. Working out with Josh would be torture on his eyes and his circulation. Josh would figure out in no time that his body does in fact inspire a sexual reaction in Neville, "I don't know. Thanks but no thanks. I don't think I'm the lifting weights type after all."
"If you want a body like this, you've got to work for it. Girls are starting to notice you lately. At least Kelsey and her friends are. You're trying to look better and you don't look as ashen as you did before we had jobs and there's almost some meat to those bones of yours. Food agrees with you buddy, but too many pancakes and you'll go from toothpick to...well, one giant pancake," Josh jokes.
"That's not going to happen," Neville grunts. Being poor is something he thought Josh and he have mutually acknowledged without ever saying anything. Josh just stepped over that invisible line and Neville feels disappointed and violated. He shrugs his shoulders and writes his chances at a real friendship with Josh off just a little more.
Taking their coats off back inside the kitchen and hanging them in the storage room, Josh catches what he thinks is a lustful glance from Neville towards Megan, "So you like her don't you. That's what Kelsey heard, that you and her have something. No offence but here I was so sure you were all horny for me and it was getting worse here at work and all along the love struck eyes lately are for her aren't they?"
Neville can't stop a laugh from escaping, "No, honestly, I promise I don't want her that way any more than I want you. Maybe I want a body like you, but Megs reminds me of my sister Jules. That's gross."
Josh rolls his eyes at what he thinks is another of Neville's little white lies. He decides to engage what he believes to be a lie for the fun of it, "Oh, so now you have a sister too? How come no one's ever seen her? Hey what happened to Kenny anyways?"
Neville's mind races to smooth over his slip-up, "Those bastards killed him I think. Take your pick of how. Uh, I meant my television sister. You know, Julia Styles? I think of her as what my sister would be like if I had one. Sorry, I know I'm weird."
"Oh, yeah? That is weird," Josh says, knowing that actress does movies, not television.
Brooke and Bailey are both in earshot unbeknownst to Josh as he pushes Neville on Kenny, "So really, what happened to your brother? Everyone thought he was a homeless kid. Are you the bastard that killed him?"
Neville tries to keep the lie simple, but his tongue keeps on going, "No. He moved up to Montreal to stay with some friends. Never seen or heard from him since. Never writes, never calls. Good thing for him too because he stole a bunch of my stuff when he took off. I think my Mom saw him last."
Josh wants to force the issue, especially because the last time he got Neville to talk about Kenny he played him off as his cousin. That and he's a little ticked off that Neville, a thief himself, is complaining about what in Josh's mind is a supposed theft at best. But with their aprons back on he realises they are too close to the others for him to try to draw the truth out of Neville. He hasn't told anyone about finding Neville's home inside the hockey arena yet, he wants to talk to Neville and try to offer him some sort of help. If Neville isn't too proud he's thinking about offering half of his bedroom at home to him. Now that he thinks Neville is straight it makes the idea easier to stomach, although ultimately he'd like to somehow get his employers to take him in.
Instead of putting Neville on the spot he lets it slide for the time being, "You've got something on your face again dude, just below your nose this time."
"I'm such a mess today, thanks again," Neville says as he wipes at his face.
).:.(<<
A few fridays later with Bailey and Megan gone back to Moncton for the funeral of a friend that died in a snow mobile accident while driving sober to a Leap Day party, Brooke is alone in the cafeteria for lunch. Having stayed back because she didn't know him and the diner needs someone to work, not wanting to sit alone, she gets up to head to the library in hopes of finding Neville. Josh watches her leave the cafeteria, cross the hall and disappear into the library only to reappear alone a minute later. Getting up from his friends he excuses himself.
He catches her in the hallway, "Try the pool. He's taken to catching forty winks on the bleachers there. Do you know how to jimmy the doors?"
Brooke's a little taken aback, "No. Why?"
"Use a bank card or your school card or a metal nail file or something hard. Put it in the door jam right behind the latch and slowly pull it forward. It'll release the catch and you can open the door, but I never told you," Josh explains with his hands.
She can't get over how the school and the town works. Apparently everyone knows how to break into rooms at school. People know Neville sleeps his lunches away in the school pool. People knew he was near starving to death before the Regan's gave him a job. The old pharmacist couple now visit once or twice a week at the diner, only when he's working and have tipped him so far with disposable razors, deodorant, toothpaste, and a candy bar. He tries to hide it as do they. And rumour is split 50/50 that he's either gay or homeless, sometimes both, or that he and Megan are dating. All this but no one seems to cares enough to find out the truth. They all just go on ignoring the situation.
Brooke damages her bank card but manages to get into the pool area. True to Josh's word, Neville is sprawled out on the bleachers and using his book-bag and coat on top of it as a pillow. She was just seeking him out for company at first but now she's a little mad at the world as she tries to figure her friend out that keeps everyone at arm's length. She straddles him and sits on his lower stomach to wake him.
Neville snarls, "The fuck's your problem?"
"Put the sword and shield down! It's just me. I'm bored so I found something to occupy myself," Brooke smiles.
"And that would be me? I thought you and Megan were girlfriends. Go sit on her," Neville says, adjusting under her weight.
"Well, if you want the truth I'll give it to you. This place is full of too many secrets and people talking behind other's backs, all the while still managing to look the other way. Everybody's still waiting on your secrets but here's mine. I'm gay. No big deal; you already knew that and have kept it to yourself. So here's my real secret; you kind of do it for me on the boy side, mostly because of who you are. Not that I'm even bi, or coming on to you because Megan's away. She's the bi one that likes you a bit. I'm just sitting on you because it fun," Brooke states.
Neville smiles, "Uh, that works I guess. I didn't know she's bi. You know people think Megs and I are seeing each other?"
Brooke doesn't dance delicately around the subject, "Yeah, but you blew it a few weeks back. She searched high and low but didn't find your Valentine's Day box of chocolates for her. People think a lot of things. Now it's your turn. Tell me something about you. Like your family and why a kid from Nova Scotia is here seemingly by himself, or why that old couple tips you for dinner with stuff from their store. Or why you kissed my brother a few weeks ago and avoid him now while he's going completely insane over you."
Neville's tired of carrying the burden alone, "Look, I really want to tell you, I think you guys are the best. I'm just not good at sharing myself. So if it seems I dole myself out one crumb at a time that's just how I am. Normally right now I'd shove you off me and ignore you for weeks until you give up on me. So just staying and talking with you is a huge step for me. Someday when you know it all you'll understand. Can you deal with that?"
"I can deal, but you haven't said anything yet," Brooke points out.
"I know, I'm good like that...Here, yeah, I'm from Nova Scotia. My family situation is more fucked up than you could ever believe and that's why I'm here...It's not much better in some ways, but it's infinitely better in other ways...Like, at least I'm alive...Again, not really saying much of anything, I know. Give me until after work tonight. We can roast marshmallows 'round the campfire and I'll tell you," Neville says with great pauses between speaking, physically biting his lip a handful of times as he speaks.
To himself he adds, `I may not have just said anything tangible or concrete, but in what I did say I'm trusting you with my life basically you know? You better really be an angel, it's time to test your wings.'