Copyright © 2010 by Jaden Lane, All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording , or by any information storage and retrieval storage system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. (Permission to post electronically is given to www.nifty.org and its affiliated mirror sites only.)
This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to any person, place, or written works are purely coincidental. It may contain consensual sex between young men. Do not read if you find that objectionable or if it is illegal for you to view this content for whatever the reason.
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).:.(<<
If You Could Read My Mind
"Hey Sweetie," Neville dreamily says as he slips under the covers with Bailey.
"Hey Babe," Bailey responds while letting Neville enfold him in his embrace.
Feeling Bailey's pyjamas and the extra layer of boxer-briefs beneath them, Neville's spirit drops, "No sex tonight? You still trying to work things through?"
"No. I love you, and I love sleeping around with you."
"But?"
"But nothing. Stop thinking for once, stop worrying."
Neville turns away, "Uh, yeah, okay."
"Nev! Don't take that as a bad thing. I wish I could see what you see in things. But I'm me and you're you. You asked me not to change you. Look at you. You have huge hang-ups, but you get around them. Most of them. Sometime you're going to have to get around your guilt, and just accept that I forgave you. I layered because I love it when you undress me. Sue me I wanted to make the anticipation last longer," Bailey says, pulling out his waistbands.
"Oh, so you are going to bottom for me?"
"Just don't jam the whole thing in. We don't need a ruler to know it's long and fat. I'm nervous as a witch in, well, a witch-hunt, but I still want to ride it tonight. A perfect record is tempting, but I'll take 23 and 1."
"That's one way of looking at it; if we're counting condoms. See if you still feel you've had the better end of things after this," Neville says as he gets a good grip and pulls down Bailey's pyjama pants and underwear in one motion.
After enduring as much as he can bear, Bailey pushes Neville off and gives him a hand before finishing himself off. Collapsing into a sweaty pile after their first time changing roles, Neville whispers in Bailey's ear, "So uh, did you like that?"
Bailey shakes his head, confiding that he didn't like it, "You know what they say; big hands, big feet? Being so tall naturally makes you bigger down there too. Fuck Nev, you're normal state is just about as long and fat as mine is when it's hard. It looks like it's being strangled in that thing."
Removing the condom Neville admits, "The elastic band part pinched a bit."
"Just like you to think you not that big," Bailey says.
Neville kisses him, "That was still pretty awesome! I did like it, sorry you didn't."
Bailey waives his hand as he tries to harden his heart, "That's going to take some serious getting used to. You're solution is easier, Trojans come in large just a row or two over on the shelves. My solution is that I'm going to have to give it up enough that it becomes easy for you to get in, and then I have to find a way to start liking it."
).:.(<<
Following a quickie when they're supposed to be going over university applications, on a snowy last day of January in 2001, Neville asks, "Can I use your address for my application? Mr. Sox and I don't get mail service where we live."
Bailey grabs Neville's thigh, "Sure thing! Then I can hold your hand when your acceptance letters start coming in! But then you'll have to have the talk with my parents about why. The knocking-my-sister-up conversation seemed to go pretty well, the homeless conversation should go over better. When you get accepted to everything and I don't, just think of me every now and then when my parents adopt you and give you my room and send me and my rejection letters off to work on Smitty's uncle's fishing boat."
"You're coming with me," Neville hollowly protests, planning to fully fill out his application for appearances sake, but not intending to actually send it.
Bailey kisses Neville and jokes, "Are you asking me to university in Vancouver or back to the bed? Can you really take me again that quickly?"
Taking the opportunity to get Bailey's mind off their applications, Neville hops on the bed and teasingly spreads his legs. He invitingly rubs his hand between them, "Here, Vancouver, and most definitely on the plane there! As Duncan would say, let's do this shit, yo!"
).:.(<<
On the first day of their new semester, Josh catches Neville in the halls at lunchtime, "Hey Nev, how goes it?"
"Awesome, you?" Neville replies as they head to the weight room.
"You know Corey Duggan, right? I know you don't like him. Anyway, he was actually nice and asked about you at practice earlier today. He said to pass on to you that your friend Crystal is back on this run after 6 months of union-imposed short hauls. He didn't even call you a name," Josh shares.
Neville hugs Josh, "That's so awesome! I'm going to go see her this week then and tell her everything! I haven't seen her in ages! I'm so glad she's alright again!"
).:.(<<
"Josh, can you help me carry the old broiler downstairs?" Jonas asks, intending to keep the broken piece of kitchen equipment for parts.
Knowing Neville is at work at the bar, he quickly agrees, hoping Neville hasn't left anything out, "No problem Mr. Regan."
"Good. Take that end. Do you want to carry forwards or backwards?"
"I'll go backwards," Josh decides.
"Just watch out for a cat then," Jonas states.
Josh plays stupid, "What?"
As they start down the stairs Jonas explains, "It's the second cat I've found down here, but I already have two just like it upstairs. If Bailey or Bethany sees it, I'll have three. I've checked all the doors and windows above ground, and all the basement windows have been bricked over. I don't know for sure how it got in, but my guess is Bailey hid all of them down here and didn't even know there were three. This one's a good mouser, so I let it stay."
"You're a kind man, Mr. Regan. I won't tell Bailey."
Jonas then puts Josh on high alert for his friend, "Good. When we get to the bottom, swing around and we'll take this to the back room in the corner, the one with the shelves. I'm going to turn it into a workshop in the spring, once we get these industrial sewing machines all removed and the shelves cleared off."
In the cavernous basement with Josh, Jonas eyes a path on the ground that is clear of dust. Seeing this, Josh suggests, "It's pretty busy today, Bailey's probably freaking for us to get back."
Jonas holds up a finger to Josh, "Just stay down here with me for a minute. It looks like someone other than the cat's been down here."
He keeps Josh by his side as he goes to investigate, following the trail to the door that connects to the next basement with the bowling lanes under the lawyers office, a building which he also owns, and into yet the next basement, and up the stairs.
His key works on every single lock along his way, including the back door of the vacant music store on the other side of the law office. He's shocked that the same key works on all of the doorways, realizing that it is in fact the master key for all the locks, even if they are keyed differently. He realizes that clearly someone else has a master key.
Josh tries to justify what he knows Jonas is thinking, "That's a lot of footprints, it's probably from when we all go over to the pool tables upstairs."
Jonas frowns, "I'd think so too, but someone's coming in that doorway and tracking in slush and snow. Look, it's still wet. Let's check upstairs. I'm getting a locksmith over here first thing tomorrow, maybe call the police too."
Mr. Sox follows as they check out the spaces in the final part of the building, until Jonas is confident it's vacant.
He leads Josh back to the basement, locking all the doors along the way, and wedging a board under the doorknob in his direct basement to prevent someone from entering again before he can change the lock. With that done, Jonas motions Josh to be quiet with a finger over his lips. He grabs a hatchet off the wood shelf and follows the path in the dust through his basement.
Ready to swing the tool at any intruder, they follow the path back through the doorway into a smaller room that has the three water heaters for the restaurant and his home. It's the same room that he intends to turn into a workshop. Boxes of odd junk they inherited when they moved in still sit on the shelves, from a time when the space the diner occupies used to be a dress shop. Scanning the room, despite an obvious attempt to sweep by Neville, he sees areas that footprints have completely cleared the dust from the floor.
A familiar bag is carefully hidden behind a large old sewing machine. Not giving away that he's spotted it, Jonas sends Josh back upstairs. Between the mop sink and water heaters he notices a towel hang-drying off a nail in the wall. A second look at the mop sink brings the realization that it is being used as a shower. On the other side of the water heaters he spots a sleeping bag and pillow, nearly hidden on the lowest shelf. Walking along the shelves Jonas spots hidden piles of clothing that he too recognizes. On a lower shelf behind an old hand operated wool-spinning machine is a hockey bag with equipment and a couple sticks.
Jonas has no doubt what is going on. He just doesn't know what he's going to do about it. To keep Josh from alerting Neville, he heads back upstairs and requests Josh come back downstairs for a minute. Josh's heart is in his throat when he joins Jonas downstairs.
Jonas spins a quick and convincing lie to Josh, "Bailey has to be sneaking down here to see the cat. Why he needs three is beyond me. I'm unlocking all the doors for his little ruse, just don't tell him what we found. I'll bring this other cat upstairs on him one day next week and tell him if he pulls this stunt again, he's the one that's going to be looking for a new home. I know you look out for your friends, but don't tell him. I want to watch him sweat for a few days and I'll talk to him after Valentines Day."
Josh is relieved that he has time to give Neville a head's up. He's going to insist Neville move in with him over the coming weekend and get out of the basement, "You're the boss Mr. Regan. My lips are sealed."
).:.(<<
When Josh leaves for the night, Jonas heads straight to the basement. He knows Neville won't finish his job for at least another hour, but he hurries all the same. Not believing what every single sense in his body is telling him, Jonas goes over to the backpack behind the sewing machine and opens it. Pulling out a binder, he flips through page after page with Neville's name on them. As he puts it back a very thin personal planner in the bag grabs his attention.
Pulling the school planner out and seeing Neville's name on it, Jonas mutters aloud, "Son of a bitch! The kid really is homeless after all."
Trying to place the planner back into the bag, an envelope falls out of one of its pockets. Jonas pulls both back out of the bag. In neat handwriting the envelope is labeled `Should I Die'. Curious to see what it means, Jonas doesn't resist temptation. He opens up a letter written in penmanship that would make even a drafting student jealous.
Should I Die; The Last Will and Testament of Neville Reilly.
There are some truths that need to be settled about the body this belongs to:
I was born Elijah Harold Johnson on November 22nd, 1982, fourth of six children to Wendy Angela Turcotte and Michael Donald Harold Johnson of Halifax, Nova Scotia. Preceded in birth by Michael Jeremiah, Seth Donald, and Kristen Wendy, pursued in birth by Julie Angela and Trevor Oliver.
On July 2nd, 1998 I was kicked out of home for kissing another boy, Steve Greenwood, also of Halifax, NS. With the gracious help of long-haul truck operators Crystal Miriam Reilly of Sherbrooke, PQ, and another driver I don't know, I hitch-hiked to Charlottetown, PEI.
Over the time since, I have in small but amazing ways been cared for by Crystal, Helen MacLeod of Charlottetown, PEI, Davis Millar (formerly of Charlottetown, PEI, current address unknown), and finally Jonas and Cathy Regan of Town Square Diner (I don't know the exact address), Charlottetown, PEI as well as their children Brooke, Bailey Andrew, Bethany, and Miss Megan Flannigan.
Bailey, please cherish what I gave you, as I did what you gave me. Words cannot express how much your love lit my way from the moment we met.
My heartfelt gratitude goes out to all of these people who have helped me, as well as Josh Wharton of 58 East St, Charlottetown, PEI, Mr. & Mrs. O'Keefe of the downtown drug store in Charlottetown PEI, and Reverend Ingrid Francis of Centennary United Church in Charlottetown, PEI, for all treating me with dignity. I have not been homeless, for home is where the heart is, and my heart is with all of you. I also give my thanks to Erin Gilroy and Miles Fitzgerald of Overtime Sports Bar in the Simmonds Arena and Sports Complex.
I hereby bequeath:
My Swiss Army pocket knife engraved with my birth initials EHJ to my son, Elijah Braydon Regan of Charlottetown. PEI. It is the only item I posses with emotional value, given to me by my younger sister and brother on my thirteenth birthday. I wish I had something more to give you but I am separated from my worldly possessions. I wish I had a chance to get to know you and watch you grow. Your birth and your little smile have brought immeasurable happiness to my life. I hope you grow to love your mothers and not hate me.
Peace of mind to Steven Greenwood of Halifax NS. I don't blame you Steve. In fact, I fondly think of you as a happy point in the story of my life. I hope you are well.
All monies in my bank account at the TD Canada Trust branch in downtown Charlottetown, under the joint account of Crystal and Neville Reilly, to Josh Wharton. Like you, I know what it's like to be poor, but I have also known the riches of your heart for being my truest friend despite your initial misgivings. Use it to go to school Josh, and please remember me when you have a family, a degree, and a career.
Anything the Regan family wants of my possessions that they may remember me by, on my person or in the basement of their home. You are truly kind people and I could not have gotten by without you.
God's will on my paternal genetic donor; hopefully promising to murder me excludes you from His kingdom.
God's love and mercy on my mother, brothers, and sisters. I love you all, even though I had to leave.
My body to the ground as my fellow man sees fit.
My soul to Christ if he'll have it.
Neville Reilly.
Jonas takes the will upstairs and photocopies it. Racing back downstairs, he punches a cement wall so hard he feels he's broken something in his hand. He struggles with one hand to replace the will to its envelope, the envelope into the planner, the planner to Neville's bag, and the bag back to its hiding spot.
).:.(<<
Returning with her husband from the hospital at 5:30 in the morning on Friday, Cathy is relieved that nothing is broken in his hand. She just wishes he would tell her what he did. A little more than an hour later Jonas watches Neville sneak out the side door and off to school. Once his kids are on their way too, Jonas tells Laura Wharton and their day cook Lewis that they have to man the diner alone for the day. He calls in Ronnie to help out.
As soon as Ronnie shows up, Cathy is again baffled when Jonas asks her to drive him on a shopping trip to Moncton. He only states they need to prepare for a visitor, and won't elaborate as he leads her downstairs. By the time they reach the back room she is shouting at Jonas to explain himself.
Every possible scenario is racing through her mind, from one of their parents dying and the other coming to live with them - perhaps Jonas in his shock forgot to mention a death - to a lovechild Jonas had outside of the marriage coming to stay. As Jonas pulls back boxes on a low shelf to reveal a pillow and sleeping bag, and then more boxes higher up to reveal tidy stacks of clothing, Cathy knows exactly what she's seeing, but her mind rejects it. Cathy neatly puts back the boxes, as if replacing them will make the discovery of what's behind them less real.
Finally in the parking lot of the furniture store they used to patronize in Moncton, Jonas reaches into his coat pocket and hands her the photocopy he took of Neville's will before he carefully returned it. Cathy starts crying.
"I know. I was so mad for him that I punched the wall in rage. He's been living in our basement for months. The mysterious value-brand tuna fish cans, the value-brand soup and vegetable cans in the God-damned value-brand bread bags that get put in our recycling have to be him. The missing crackers and the missing key you told me about, but I didn't believe? They have to be him too. We knew he was evasive, this is why," Jonas stops, too choked up to say more.
When he finds his voice again he adds, "Cathy, we fired him for being homeless, and he forgave us. God, if we only knew. We'll get him a dresser and a bureau to match Bailey's. He can sleep with Bailey for all I care, or whatever's going on with them, he can have his own room if he prefers. We'll buy him his own bed if it comes to it. I don't care. We won't allow the father of our sweet little angel grandson to be homeless a moment longer."
"We'll going to right those wrongs. Whatever we would have paid him; we're giving him for school. And if he can forgive us a little more, we'll give him his job back too, and get him out of that bar."
That night when they expect Neville to be getting home from his bar shift, Cathy and Jonas wait in ambush for him to sneak in. As soon as he gets in, Neville reaches back on a shelf to find a can of tuna for Mr. Sox and finds everything missing. He freezes and starts scanning his surroundings. Searching the shelves in practiced silence, Neville is panicked when the light turns on.
Falling to his knees in submission he looks Jonas in the eyes, "All good things must end. Josh gave me the head's up. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Yeah, in one hand I am, don't get me wrong, I know what I've done isn't right. But in the other hand, it's the only way I could think of surviving. I'm just so tired of living a lie, jail will be a relief. Thank you."
"We got you a high-boy dresser like Bailey's. Your clothes are washed and put away in it upstairs. The guest room's yours. Bailey and your pillow are already on the bed, and your sleeping bag should be done in the dryer by now, if you want to use something familiar as your cover," Cathy reaches out and claps her hands over Neville's shoulders when he looks to stand up and protest, "Just try and argue me. Josh and Mr. Sox are in your room too, waiting for you."
"Josh?" Neville asks, his voice devoid of the anger and betrayal he thought he'd feel.
"He wanted to stay and calm you. Plus, apparently you owe him some sleepovers on your floor. Now that you have one, he says he's collecting payment," Cathy states.
Jonas raises his hand and shows Neville the tensor bandage around it, "When I found your bag last night, after Josh went home I opened it to confirm it was yours. I kept going through it, I couldn't stop. I was so mad at how you've been living. Then I came across your will. Reading your truths, and seeing how you've worked so hard to keep your life together, I was so angry that I tried to put my fist through a cement wall. When we got back from the furniture store in Moncton I needed Josh and Ronnie to help Bailey carry the dresser upstairs."
Standing up, Neville starts to cry, "Okay, I won't fight you. I'm going to take that room and I'm going to cry like a baby all night because you guys have always been so amazing to me. But I have to pay you something. I won't live off you for free."
Cathy shakes her head, "And what have you been doing since October? The only difference now is that your bed is more comfortable, and you can heat up your canned food. Or you could join us as part of the family and eat with us. We do own a diner after all; there's always something that needs to be eaten before it gets tossed out."
Jonas opines, "Those are the two big life style changes as far as I can see. Now you don't have to sneak around. But Neville, no more cats, okay?"
).:.(<<
Over the P.A. system with five minutes remaining of an early June school day, Neville is called down to the office. His class makes the customary ooh's and aah's like they would for anyone, but Neville feels his pulse speed up. Inside the office, Mrs. MacLeod smiles and waives for him to enter the principal's office. His pulse quickens more when Jonas and Cathy are already inside, along with Reverend Francis, the principal, and a couple people he doesn't recognize.
As he apprehensively enters the office, Mrs. MacLeod enlightens him, "Neville, we'd taken the liberty to submit your marks, and some of your work on your behalf for some awards. This young gentleman is Mr. Clarke. He's here on behalf of the Governor General's office."
Neville looks at Mr. Clarke, "As in the country's representative for the Queen? That Governor General?"
Mr. Clarke clears his throat and answers, "The one and only. It's been brought to our attention that you are an exemplary student with top-notch marks. You were submitted as a candidate for one of our annual awards, and when the Governor General read of your remarkable circumstances, she dispatched me to come talk with you."
"Uh, okay," Neville says, casting Mrs. MacLeod an attempted scowl, but fighting to hide a smile.
Mr. Clarke continues, "Yes. It's our understanding that you have been accepted to the University of British Columbia in your quest to become a social worker."
Neville is skeptical, "How? I didn't apply?"
Mrs. MacLeod speaks up, "Your guidance counselor found your application in the garbage, complete, but missing the application fee. The faculty here all chipped in and paid your fee and sent off your application. We then started looking into scholarships and other sources of funding for you to go to school."
Cathy cuts in, "When Mrs. MacLeod told Josh, he told us. By then you were living with us so we intercepted your early acceptance letter from the university. We've been in contact with the school and your Reverend most of the time you've been living with us properly."
Reverend Francis takes over, "Upon hearing of the will you had written, at my insistence, Cathy and Jonas gave me a copy of it. We all used our separate channels to get to this point."
Neville is dumbfounded, "And this point would be?"
The unknown stranger in the room addresses Neville, "For starters, that would be that I am the lawyer you've been living below, and now above. I'm here to start the process of legally changing your name, if it so is your intention. Following that, my office will expedite the process of getting your social insurance number and birth certificate re-issued to you. I'm also going to be your legal advocate for when the media gets wind of things. All pro-bono."
Neville is still lost, "Gets wind of what?"
Jonas answers, "Neville, Mr. Clarke is here because you have been awarded a bursary by the Governor General that will pay for your room and board, as well as tuition throughout your years at university, provided you maintain your grades. I'll let Mr. Clarke explain."
"Each year the Governor General awards an indeterminate number of such bursaries to deserving students. Legal ramifications aside, your will, which was submitted on your behalf, states that you were homeless for two years, seven and a half months. All the while you drove yourself to attend school with zero documented truancies, not a single late on your file, and maintained impeccable grades. The recipients of this award are made public, as well as their qualifications and achievements. You will garner attention."
"I don't want any attention! I don't want any legal ramifications. I just want to live an honest life. I don't want your award!"
In a familiar booming voice Reverend Francis silences him, "Neville Reilly, you have suffered and given enough! Now is the time for you to be humble and accept what others have fought for you to have."
Through sobs, Neville agrees, "Thank you everyone. Alright. I don't take spotlight well; I'm going to need help with it. And I don't want my families affected. My new family or my old one. Keep them out of this please?"
Neville's principal finally speaks, "I'll also be looking for a rough copy of your valediction speech by the end of next week. Helen will help you with it."
Neville cracks a broad smile, "My valediction speech? Awesome!"
).:(<<
By the weekend Neville's nerves are at an all time high. With a press release from the Governor General's office set to be issued the following Monday, the shroud of anonymity that he's cloaked himself in for the past few years is about to dissipate. In the wee hours of the morning he finds himself unable to relax enough to find even a shred of sleep. Not wanting to disturb Bailey's peaceful slumber any more than he already had, when he snuck into bed upon returning home from his job at the arena's sports bar, his hormones not yet fully satiated even after the great lovemaking that ensued, Neville slips out of bed and heads to the computer to access a free porn site that Bailey has bookmarked.
Slightly relieved minutes later, Neville decides to spend some time focusing content of his valediction speech that he's drafted up on the computer. Instead he ends up being distracted by an icon that shows his two friends are online. Four time zones away in Vancouver, it's just past eleven o'clock for Duncan, and one in the morning for Jon in Houston. As they chat about Duncan's infatuation with his best friend Benji, Jon and Duncan both express surprise to find Neville online. He's chatted with both friends many times since partially moving into Bailey's room in late February, only using his guest room until recently on school nights to keep Jonas and Cathy from objecting. With Jon and Duncan's attention turned to him, Neville relates that he can't sleep and then explains why.
Half an hour later Jon and Duncan are shocked, but both convinced that Neville is not lying about the homeless story he's just proffered. Getting back to his restlessness, they each offer to help him with his speech. His loose idea is to give an insightful speech to his classmates using himself as an example. He doesn't intend it to be a slam against his classmates, but rather an eye opener as to how they see the world and how they can grow in order to affect the world they live in. Duncan is onboard right away with ideas, and Jon's suggestion is to infuse it with key lyrics from popular songs in order to emphasize the ideas.
Over the next few days, together with Jon and Duncan, Neville pieces together songs poignant to his situation for his valedictory address. He doesn't know more than half the songs, but pretends to and goes along with it, only insisting that the two he does in fact know, get worked together. He's very happy with the story told through the lyrics and is pleased with what Duncan and Jon have come up with to assist him. After Mrs. MacLeod is happy with it, Neville submits it to his principal.
).:.(<<
Having been given the day off at the pharmacy by the O'Grady's, Neville opts to sleep in with Bailey and catch the mid-day Sunday service rather than his usual early morning, pre-work time. Returning from church, Neville is shocked when he walks in through the front door of the diner. Stepping back he speaks a little too loudly, "What are you doing here?"
As everyone in the diner turns to look at him, he doesn't wait for an answer. Leaving the door open behind him, he starts running down the street. Many blocks later he stops running, but doesn't stop to sit down until he hits the boardwalk. There he spends the night lost in thought, reflecting on his past few years, and his life before that.
Late at night he returns home. Climbing the stairs of the fire escape, he's startled when he realizes it's his brother smoking a cigarette in the chair on the landing and not Bailey. As he reaches the landing he shrugs. The brothers hold each other's gaze for a long moment before Neville nods his head and sits in the other chair. Staring at the stars above, both sit lost in thought, neither speaking for the remainder of the cigarette and the next one.
Taking a smoke from the pack on the window ledge, Neville lights it and inhales. After his coughing subsides and he extinguishes the cigarette, he turns to his brother, "Hey Seth."
His older brother stands and motions Neville towards himself. After sharing a long hug Seth speaks, "I've missed you, little bro."
Squeezing his brother even tighter before letting go, Neville says, "Look at us, a couple of grown men crying. Have a seat. What brings you here?"
"You," Seth says, not bothering to joke around.
"Yeah. Uh, how are you?"
"I feel like I won the lottery! Even better! A hundred times better, now that we know you're okay! How about you?"
"I don't know. It's all a little more than I can handle; it's all overwhelming. How long are you here?"
"No idea. We took Mom and Dad's credit card, so however long as we want. They'll kill us but...sorry, bad choice of words."
"It's okay. Really. I don't get upset when people say that, it's a common saying. But can we talk in the morning? I'm guessing you guys came for my graduation? Tomorrow's going to be crazy, and I'm on overload right now."
"Yeah, sure. They gave Kristen your room and I have Bailey's pullout. You have to sleep with your friend or me. Friend? Boyfriend?"
"Boyfriend. It's complicated, but he's so amazing. We haven't slept apart for weeks now and it feels so right. I'll sleep with him if you don't mind, no offence."
"None taken Eli! We don't mind. When we talked with your boyfriend, he arranged for us to come for your graduation. We're all happy you've got someone who loves you so much."
"I knew you guys wouldn't care. But it wasn't any of our decision. He decided for us. Your father killed poor Eli; he ripped the beating heart right out of him. I'm still your brother because you and Kristen came to see me, but I'm not him anymore; I'm not Eli. I'm especially not your father's son. It's uh, Neville, now. Nev for short. I'm legally changing my name."
"Well then Nev, I'm not wasting any breath making excuses for Dad, won't even try. Forget him. Me and Kristen are here. Jules and Trevor would have wanted to come too, but we didn't tell them; they're still too loose-lipped."
They both sense an electrically charged storm cloud above and a powder keg of explosives at their feet. Neville acknowledges it, "Tell Little Mike I still love him too. In my heart I've always known he didn't mean for this."
Relieved, Seth gushes, "He couldn't face you. I think he doesn't want your forgiveness because he's never forgiven himself. You're his cross to bear, I swear it. He's beat himself up real hard for what he did. Like even physically cut himself to match the scar he caused you in the equipment barn. If it means anything to you at all, he cried so hard when we saw you on the news and that you're alive and well. He's sorry beyond words for what happened."
"Maybe he can visit before I go to Vancouver. I don't know. This is all a bit much for me, too much at the moment. I'm going to bed. You coming?"
"Yeah. I'd share a bed with you if you chose to, you know? I'm not afraid of you or ashamed of you. We all learned how much we love you when you had to run away."
"I'm not ashamed either. We'll talk tomorrow, I promise. I'm sure you've already seen him, but there's a little guy I want to properly introduce you and Kristen to."
In the morning Seth gets up early and takes in the scene before him in the other bed. His brother, equally as tall as himself, is tightly curled into a ball on the bed. Just like Seth remembers; only Neville's head is uncovered. A new change to him is Bailey wrapped around his brother. He wakes Kristen and invites her on a jog. Being early risers from growing up on a farm, they make sure to tickle Neville awake and tell him that he and Bailey have at least half an hour to themselves before their hectic day gets going. Locking both doors to the room, Bailey and Neville take full advantage of the time given them and passionately express their love in bed. As practiced as they are getting in bed, Bailey makes love with such intensity that they both start their day weak-legged, but less tense.
The day starts off crazy and just keeps going. With Bailey, Megan, and Neville all graduating, there is a lot of time spent getting ready, taking pictures, and running around. When Neville takes the podium for his valedictory address, he is a ball of nerves. He forgoes his written speech and instead addresses the auditorium on a more personal level.
"I'd like to speak to you all today about fear, hate, harassment, and bullying, about love, compassion, tolerance, and the humanity within us all.
Yes, now the truth is out, and the valedictorian address I'd prepared was somewhat autobiographical. These cards I'm tossing in the air right now, they are that speech. I've just decided to scrap it and address you all on an even more personal level. However, I ask you to not look at the person giving the message. Instead, look beyond me; open your hearts and minds to the message itself.
This is not meant as a slight; to say that you've looked at me for three years like I was never here. In truth, the majority of you have done just that, but I know that is simply human nature. Yet some of you refused to just accept my station in life. Yes, a small handful of amazing people in this room veered from the flock and truly tried to help. Please understand that through it all, while I spurned their genuine efforts, and tried my hardest to remain invisible to the rest of you, I'm actually grateful that I've been able to live life on my own terms.
Thus, I could give a speech about how for three years a homeless boy in the midst of your small and tightly knit community fooled everyone here. Only, that wouldn't be completely accurate.
Hence I could give a speech about how for three years, a homeless boy in your midst managed to mostly slip under the radar, merely drawing some attention because of the enigma he was. Accordingly, I could tell a tale of how he piqued just enough curiosity in everyone he touched, but rarely drew enough compassion for anyone to fully act.
Again, I'll concede that some tried, but my lack of faith in humanity almost always found ways to rebuke their efforts, or manipulated them enough as to protect my truth. And through it all, tragic as it may be, glorified as it is in the local news currently, my story isn't that different from any other graduate's that I stand before. The speech I had prepared for today focused solely on my journey. It pointed only to the fear, hate, harassment, and bullying that I faced from many.
So in its place I'd speak to you about life and truth, about hope and courage, about the love, compassion, tolerance, and humanity within us all. About deciding for yourself what your own potential is; and then going after that dream. No matter what the people around you say or do, no matter the limits they have set for you. Show them all you're not just blind sheep, waiting in a cue."
Using the varied harassment and bullying he's endured over the past three years as examples, Neville delivers an anti-hate speech and challenges his classmates as they go forth in life to have compassion and tolerance, to stand up against any harassment they see. Looking from one video recorder to the next in the dead-silent auditorium as he concludes his speech, he regrets his choice to speak from the heart. The silence continues for a painfully long moment before finally he is met with overwhelmingly loud applause.
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Sitting around the diner a couple hours ahead of their reservation for a graduation dinner, Neville's family are all chit-chatting randomly. His friend and teacher, Mrs. Helen MacLeod, and her sister, Reverend Ingrid Francis, are with them along with Crystal Reilly, Beverly and Patrick O'Keefe, as well as Erin Gilroy and Miles Fitzgerald. Even Josh and his recent girlfriend Eileen have decided to join the family, forgoing their own dinner with friends.
Kristen picks up baby Eli, "He's so cute! He looks just like..."
Seth cuts her off, "He doesn't know yet. I didn't tell him."
All conversation stops as Neville speaks up, "Tell me what?"
"You know the family trees? Our trees?" Seth refers.
Neville quips, "Yeah. Eli doesn't look like a tree."
Seth's face reddens in anger as he explains, "Dad mostly cut yours down the day after you ran away. He left a burnt stump that he wouldn't let me and Mike get rid of. Anyone that looked could see that there was a maple missing between Kristen's and Julie's. But there are three more trees now. Mom and Dad tried to replace you with Rory."
Kristen takes over, "Rory Patrick actually, and he was born just about ten months on the nose to when you left. We don't think Mom wanted to have another kid. Then because Rory's fourteen years younger than Trevor, they decided to have a second child right away so he's not alone. So we also have another baby brother named Callum Ross. They're Irish twins; born less than a year apart."
Seth cuts back in, "And your little guy here looks just like Callum. Blue eyes and red hair. Funny how I'm hazel, you're green, and the rest of them are blue. And after the first six of us all got the same blonde, Rory's dark brown, and Callum's a red-head."
Kristen points to Seth and Neville, "You can tell we're all family, but you two are so close, just thicker stubble on Seth. The red's just a phase, both Callum and your little cutie here are going to be blonde just like us. We all started off as red-headed babies, strawberry-blonde toddlers, and then to this. I love Eli's bluish green eyes!"
Megan speaks up, "They're turning green, like his. A month ago they were still dark blue, but our doctor said it's common for most eyes to start out as blue and turn into their eventual colour. She's pretty sure they're going green because there's no amber in them, so not likely hazel or brown. Strange, cause Nev's usually so full of shit it even comes out his eyes, but he didn't pass the brown along. Even though you just said most of you are blue, the green has to be a family trait from you guys. Brooke's family is mostly blue, with the occasional brown."
Seth turns his head, "Megan right? You've been taking care of our brother haven't you?"
"A little," Megan admits.
Kristen explains, "You're just like our other sister that he was real close to; Jules. She used to hang off him as if he was fly tape and she was a stuck fly. It figures he'd take to you."
Seth and Neville look to each other, silently agreeing. Seth grabs Neville's shoulder, "So back to the trees. Now it's green, green, red, gold, red, green, green, green. Not sure how we'll sneak one in for your little guy."
Neville smiles, "Mine's gold?"
Seth nods, "Yeah. When Dad planted a tree for Rory we were all pissed. Mike borrowed Grandpa Johnson's ditch digger and we ripped your stump out. Trevor and Jules wanted your new tree to be gold, to honour what you mean to us, so Kristen and I searched all the family properties and found the biggest ones we thought we could transplant. Then Mike and I put in the best looking Princeton Gold between the Crimson Kings and Emerald Queens, and it's finally taken root and starting to grow this year."
Kristen points out, "It looks like the golden jewel of the group. You are the crown prince among us."
Neville rolls his eyes, easily bantering with his family that he hasn't seen for three years, "That's me. I'm a jewel for sure!"
Brooke scoffs, "Tell me Pancakes used to not be such a downer. Like, he once knew how to smile and laugh, how to love, and how to take a fricken compliment?"
Kristen thinks back, "He was always the most serious and respectful of us, but he was always fun and laughed easily. Definitely the most witty, but he kept it on the down-low. No, I don't think he ever knew how to take attention though. He was always shy and didn't like to stand out or be noticed."
"He's also right here you know," Neville says and casts a look at Kristen, one they both almost tear up over as it brings back a flood of memories to both of them.
"Yeah, we figure when he hit high school he started spending more time by himself, sneaking off so he could develop his own identity," Seth explains the accepted idea as he looks from Brooke to Bailey, and then to their parents, before confiding, "Mike and I thought once he out grew being Batman that it was because he finally found his dick and liked the adventure of playing with it in new places."
Neville protests, "No, I wasn't like Mike and you! No shame! Neither of you had an ounce of shame! I was never anywhere near as adventurous as you guys in anything, especially masturbation. I did sneak off a lot, but it was to be alone with my thoughts and not my dick! I couldn't exactly tell everyone what was on my mind. And Batman still rules!"
Bailey naively asks, "What was on your mind, other boys?"
Looking from Bailey to his siblings, Neville bashfully acknowledges, "Uh, yeah. In grade nine, Steve was the most beautiful person I had ever seen and I wasn't confused anymore. I was so happy to be gay when he hinted that he liked me. But I had to hide those thoughts and it made it easier to hide them if I just hid in general. I wanted to tell you guys, but I was too afraid to. I sure-as-shit didn't need Big Mike on my case for being a Nancy."
After a short silence, Josh hands Neville a new Boston Bruins hat.
"What's this for?" Neville asks.
Josh looks away, "The old one looks like crap now. If you're going to represent in another NHL city, you need a good Bruins hat. Since I never really knew your real birthday, you can consider it, birthdays, Christmas, and graduation gifts all rolled into one."
Neville pulls Josh into a hug; one Josh doesn't protest or shrug off, one that Josh actually returns tightly. Far more than the hat, his friend's full acceptance is the greatest gift Neville can think of, "Thanks Josh."
Now that Neville's spirits have lifted, Seth asks, "So you lived on your own, in hiding places here, for two and a half years?"
Neville closes his eyes and nods, "Uh, yeah, pretty much. I had a couple places in the arena for a couple years. Then when that went bust, I was squatting in the basement here."
"How about you show us your Bat-caves before dinner? We don't want to see, but we kinda do want to see how and where our little bro's lived these past few years," Kristen reveals before asking the group, "Have you all seen it? Where he lived?"
As everyone other than Josh indicates they haven't seen the places in the arena that Neville lived in, Seth playfully pushes his brother back into his chair, "And Eli? Neville I guess now, just so we're clear on things? Now that we found you, if you ever run away on us again, when you get to Vancouver, if you don't write and call, email, and instant message us; you're dead meat little bro. You won't have to worry about Dad; that's a promise from me. I will track you down, tie you up, and sew a satellite GPS tracker into you!"
Leaning back into a safe and warm hug from Bailey that is punctuated by a lingering kiss to the side of his neck, Neville can't stop smiling, "I've missed you guys too, so, so much!"
[the end]
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Dear Reader:
So here we are at the end, it's been a fun ride. Thank you so much for reading, and a special thanks to everyone who has written me along the way; it I truly appreciate the feedback!
As with my other stories, this isn't the end of Nev and Bailey. I fully intend to have them prominantly in my main story when I get it to the College section. Look for it no later than summer 2011 there, it will be called In the Shadows of Our Lives, and will be a continuation of this story as well as In This Cruel World, and In the Shadow of Our Lives. I have a few other characters to throw in there too, but that will have to wait...For now I am getting back to Jon in his story, In the Shadow of Our Lives, of which I am also posting the first chapter of Part 2 of that story today (Wings of Tomorrow). Nev and Bailey will appear in it, I'm thinking roughly chapter 5.
For anyone interested, I am publishing this story. It's in the hands of editors right now, so I'm guessing it will be available sometime before Valentine's Day either through my myspace website or my publisher @ http://www2.xlibris.com/BOOKSTORE/author.aspx?authorid=57965.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
~Jade xo