Copyright © 2010 by Jaden Lane, All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording , or by any information storage and retrieval storage system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. (Permission to post electronically is given to www.nifty.org and its affiliated mirror sites only.)
This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to any person, place, or written works are purely coincidental. It may contain consensual sex between young men. Do not read if you find that objectionable or if it is illegal for you to view this content for whatever the reason.
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If You Could Read My Mind
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When Mr. Whiskers breaks into a purr just inches away from his head, it instantly brings Neville from a restful sleep to wide awake in the early morning. The blinding flashlight beam that fixes on him a moment later is accompanied by Josh's voice, "Seriously? You're sleeping on the bottom shelf?"
"Obviously," Neville whispers, "If you don't know what to look for, you'd never know this is my bed. What's going on? How'd you get in?"
"I used your spare key from the roof, Einstein, and this guy purring totally gave you away," Josh says as he reaches down to pet Mr. Whiskers.
Neville grabs Josh's hand and shushes him.
"Aw, don't get all excited that I came over for some nookie! And don't shush me! You don't have to whisper today 'cause no one's home right now. Time to go to the hospital, papa!"
"What? Brooke gave birth?"
"Don't look so surprised, that's usually what happens nine months after you get a girl pregnant. Bailey called me and, damn, put some clothes on dude, don't strip it all off! Bailey called and asked me to dig you out of your hiding spot so that you're there."
Neville's green eyes are glassy, "I can't go. Their parents don't know."
"Think about that one, genius! They know it's not mine, and it sure ain't Bailey's or Megan's. That leaves you and Immaculate Conception. Their parents have bet not only the manger, but the whole damn farm on it being you."
"Oh," Neville absentmindedly says with one hand pulling at the short curls of his honey-blonde hair and the other tracing the hair in the crevice of his stomach from his belly button downward.
"You going to put something on already and come or stand there naked and sniffing clothes?"
"I'm trying to find something completely clean. Almost everything's been worn at least once or twice since I did laundry. I need a clean shirt if I'm going to get to hold my baby and I don't want to smell, and clean underwear would be a bonus too. Besides, it's not like you haven't seen a guy naked before. If you don't like what you see then turn the flashlight off me," Neville says, flexing his tight abs and arms for effect.
"You're right, your clothes do smell. Wear my shirt. I'll swipe a pair of Bailey's boxers for you from upstairs and stay before school to do a load of your fucking laundry when you go to the hospital and then let myself out. Hurry up, she's in labour buddy. Be there to see him born."
"Thank you," Neville winks as he hops into the shower that he's rigged up. He's toweling dry by the time Josh makes it back downstairs, "Can you feed Mr. Whiskers a can of food too for me, and give him some fresh water? His bowls are behind the counter in the next basement. I feed him on the shelf under the cash register. Our cans of tuna are hidden behind my clothes on the shelf right there."
His hair still dripping wet, Neville is whisked out the front door of the diner and on his way to the hospital. Hours later when Eli arrives there is an uncomfortable acceptance between Neville, Jonas, and Cathy.
After a few minutes with Brooke and Eli, Megan comes to the waiting room to let Neville go in to see his son.
His fear and worry are temporarily pushed aside by his pride and joy. He's choked up as he holds his son for the first time, "Hey little guy, I'm your daddy. The original Eli, only I wasn't good enough. You're going to be an even better Eli than me because you're going to be loved. Your mommies and I are going to make sure of it."
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Having climbed Bailey's fire escape and seeing his stocky frame lounging in pyjama pants, Neville opens the door that's never locked and lets himself in. Bailey looks up as Neville kicks off his snow-covered shoes onto the floor mat and leans back against the door, "Hey."
Bailey scrambles to put a shirt over his pudgy stomach, "Hey, I wasn't expecting you! What are you doing here?"
Standing in Bailey's room, between jobs on a Saturday afternoon in early December, Neville's come to see his two day old son, now home from the hospital. Instead he answers, "I'm visiting with you and sharing, like I promised. I want to show you that your friendship means a lot to me. Even if I blew my chances as your boyfriend."
Bailey gives him a smile, "Okay, let me get Brooke and Eli for this."
As Brooke settles Eli into Neville's arms, Bailey urges, "Start talking, come sit down."
"We'll start with my family. I think I told you both I'm one of six kids. Mike's the oldest, he's the one I was bugging when I got the old scar on my arm. It was totally my fault for goofing around and I don't blame him. He's also the one that caught me kissing another guy and told on me. I know if he could, he'd take it back in a heartbeat. I could tell right away he wished he didn't tell on me. I don't blame him for that either. After him there's Seth, then Kristen. I came next, followed by Julie, we called her Jules, and Trevor's the youngest.
The first four of us are all a year apart, then there's two years between me and Jules, and one year between her and Trevor. We're all a year apart in school because the first four of us were all started a year behind for some reason. Teachers would instantly recognize me by my threadbare clothes as Seth and Mike's little brother because I only ever wore their hand-me-downs. Mike always got the clothes first, too big for him so he'd grow into it, then I'd get whatever Seth outgrew after he got it from Mike. Kristen and Jules got a lot of boys clothes and poor Trevor would get their hand-me-downs.
I'm fully Irish Canadian on my paternal side. French Canadian and Mexican on my mom's side. My maternal grandmother is where the Mexican comes in, but she was born here, so I'm first generation Canadian. All sides are purely Roman Catholic, but I've found a good fit in The United Church of Canada, it's surprisingly progressive.
Now here's something a little more substantial. I'm from Nova Scotia. A little rural township I guess, but basically Halifax. Pretty much across the island from where the old couple I work for are originally from. I was raised on a dairy farm just minutes from the city. My mom and her husband both grew up on dairy farms there and that's how they met. All the families have known each other for generations, so all the dairy farmers there are a pretty close-knit community and marriage between them isn't uncommon."
Bailey questions, "Then why are you here? Why aren't you at home, or with friends or relatives there?"
"You know why. My sperm donor couldn't accept his seed being gay. He hid behind religion, even though we had a great father-son relationship before that day. My whole family is real close. My brothers and I would fight, like brothers do, but we were always real tight. All of us really were best friends as well as brothers and sisters. Not that any of us ever got in any real trouble, but we always put ourselves first, always stuck up for each other, even with Mom and him. But the asshole couldn't tolerate me being gay so I had to go."
Brooke asks, "So is Crystal like your aunt then or what? How about that guy that ran the arena that's gone now?"
"No, neither are exactly family. Crystal was an amazing friend, and Davis was a pretty awesome guardian."
Brooke presses, "If he's gone, where do you live now?"
"Uh, you guys have to keep it really low-key, okay? Um, I live in a, well, I guess it's like a group home, of sorts. Everyone there is related one way or another, but there are different relations, and the whole thing's very crazy and sensitive. It's not completely legal though, so I'm begging you to please not ask me to explain it any more than that. Just understand that it's for the best, and it's by far the best home I've had since I've been here."
"You could live here," Brooke suggests.
"Your parents wouldn't go for that. They're pleasant to me, but let's face it; they don't much like me for real just right now. It wouldn't, uh, I couldn't. That's real nice of you to offer, but I have a hard time being around people that don't want me around. It's a huge complex I've developed since getting kicked out of home at fifteen."
Brooke presses, "It's got to be better than being homeless. Do it for Eli."
"I'm not homeless. I do have a home. Not your conventional kind of home, but it's best for me. And what's best for Eli is a stress free environment. I'll be around. Once things calm down I'll look into renting a proper room. Okay?"
Bailey is circling the room, much like a vulture. He also won't let it go, "Are you related to that old couple?"
"No. I don't live with them or anything, they're just amazing people. Please don't push it more Bailey, please?"
"Okay, this is a huge start. I wish I had a brother. Two older brothers and one younger; what was that like?"
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As the conversation changes to Eli, who Brooke is holding again, Neville knows all five answers to a word scramble that has been growing all day on the radio. He recognizes the fifth clue as an anagram of a race of characters from the British Doctor Who series that his family used to watch. He interrupts a story Bailey is telling, "I know the answer."
"Huh?"
"That word scramble on the radio, I know the answer; the Daleks from Doctor Who. Shush, he's going to repeat the other clues. That one's easy, K-9 was his robotic companion. He travels in the TARDIS. Two more! Another easy one; The Master. One more! So simple, he's a Time Lord. Bailey, give me your phone."
"Why?"
"Did you hear the guy? The prize is now up to one of three trips to see a concert and spend New Year's Eve in another city! Chicago, Houston or Washington!"
When he gets through Neville covers the phone so that Brooke and Bailey can't hear, "Hi! My name's Bailey Regan and I can answer all five clues you guys just gave on the radio, and that they're all from Doctor Who!"
Giving the answers on the radio, Neville's awarded his choice of trips, "Uh, it's warm in Houston right? Houston would be so amazing! Thanks!"
"You said you were me," Bailey protests as soon as Neville hangs up.
"Had to; I still don't have ID. You can think of it as a gift. Maybe your old boyfriend Jeremy can go with you and you guys can lose your virginity is Houston!"
"No way! If you're giving me the trip, you're coming with!"
"I don't know. What I do know is that I have to get my butt over to the arena soon for my shift, and you take over downstairs soon. Plus, I have to grab something to eat; my tummy's growling. See you little guy," Neville says while stroking his son's cheek with his finger.
Bailey grabs his arm and holds him back, "Come over tonight, just like old times? We'll talk about this trip idea of yours. I'll set up the pull-out for you, okay? That way if my parents kill you in your sleep it's easier to clean up! If the fireplace is going when you get here, it's only because it's supposed to be a real cold one tonight."
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Neville's head is still in the clouds when he spots Josh walking past the bar during a slow period early into his shift. After getting Erin's permission to take off for a few minutes he catches up with Josh, "Hey Josh! C'mere."
"Nev, what are you doing here? How's your boy? Wait, you aren't back to living here are you?"
"No, I can't live here with Davis gone. I work in the bar there. I thought you knew, sorry. What are you doing here? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Uh, I need your help."
"I just came to get my stuff from the team lock-up. We're playing some outdoor hockey man! What's up?"
"Here, just give me your hockey bag. Act casual."
"Why? What trouble are you in?" Josh asks, but hands it over when Neville's whole face pleads, "Fine, here."
"Thanks. Come with me?"
"What are we doing? I only need my skates and stick. What do you need my bag for?"
"Nothing. Don't stress, I'm not perving on your magnificently odourous equipment. Just come here."
After checking the dressing room assignments to find which of the teams currently on the ice is visiting from another arena, Neville leads Josh to the maintenance room. Quickly letting them in, he puts Josh's bag down. Removing the grates to change room 4, he says, "Watch the door."
Moments later he returns the screens and motions Josh to go back out into the hallway.
Josh won't budge, "What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"Nev, what did you steal?"
Nothing. Let's go."
"No way, I don't do theft."
"You don't. I do. Sorry for involving you."
"What do you need so badly? Money? I can give you money."
"Just take a walk with me?"
"What did you take?"
"A cell phone, alright?"
"If you need a phone you can use mine."
"No I can't. My brothers and sisters could trace it back, and I need to call home. I need something from them but I don't want to leave a trace," Neville says, lifting Josh's bag, "Here's your bag, thanks. Sorry for making you do this. It's all on me, not you. You're not an accomplice because you didn't know what I was doing. You're a better person than that. I'm really sorry for using you Josh. How much more time do you have?"
Still rooted in the same spot and not willing to go back into the hallway, Josh again asks, "Why?"
Neville hands Josh the phone after dialling his family, "Here. Ask for my mom. Wendy Johnson, no one else. Say you know me and you're calling on my behalf, her son Eli."
"No," Josh refuses and pushes Neville's hand away.
"It's ringing," Neville comments as he puts the phone to Josh's ear.
Neville's younger sister Julie answers the phone, "Hello?"
Josh sighs and takes the phone from Neville's hand, "Mrs. Johnson please."
"Just a minute," Julie replies.
Josh hands Neville the phone, "Here. I'm not doing this."
Neville takes the phone, his heart pounding in his chest when he hears his mother speak, "Hello?"
Rather than convey emotion, Neville's voice is cold steel as he speaks, "Mrs. Johnson, I'm calling regarding your son Eli. Don't repeat the name if anyone's nearby."
Wendy Johnson gasps, "Oh good Lord forgive me, you're alive!"
Neville's voice takes on a hash quality, "Yeah, but just listen. Don't talk. I'll hang up if you talk and you'll never hear from me again. Not just like the two years and change since my sperm donor promised to murder me and you turned me out either. If you don't shut it and listen, Mom, you'll never hear from me again, ever. Got it?"
"Yes," She tearfully answers.
"Good, now stop crying. I'm sure everyone's watching the game and won't notice, but I can't handle you crying; it hurts too much. I need something. I need my passport that we got a few years ago when we went to visit Grandma's family in Cancun. Grab a pen and paper and send it to this address. Don't come after me Mom, don't make anything of this. I'm fine, I still love you, in a way. But if you say anything to anyone, and someone finds me, I'm having your husband sent to prison. Okay? That's the deal. I'm alive and free, and so is he. Kapiche?"
"Kapiche. Your passport? I have it with my keepsakes," She informs. Neville can hear a child in the background.
He's thrown off guard, "Uh, well I need it. Being homeless would be a lot easier with ID, now that I'm eighteen."
"I lit a candle for your birthday. We do every year. We make the day special, talk about you, share memories."
Sudden anger rises in Neville, "That's real touching. Is that supposed to make me forgive you for kicking me out? Remember the deal; I talk you listen, or I hang up."
Chastised into silence, Neville's mother meekly agrees, "Go ahead."
"I need my passport. It's the only ID I have. I'm doing alright. It's been real shitty but I've gotten by. Can you send my passport so I can start getting papers together and get my life in order? I'm applying for school in the new year and I need to be a real person to get in, not just some borrowed name that never existed.
If you can't do this for me and keep quiet about it, you might as well have let him kill me in a fake hunting accident as he planned. Something kept you from letting that happen. Well it pretty much amounts to the same Mom, if you don't extend me this small kindness now. Whatever it was in you that let me live that day, I'm hoping it will give me this too. I can hear you have company, so let's hurry this up."
His mother complies, "What's the address?"
Covering the phone Neville turns to his shocked friend, "Josh, what's your address?"
At first it seems like the words are foreign to Josh. He tries to focus, "What? My address? Why?"
"Yes, your address, what's your address?" Neville says to Josh before speaking back into the phone, "Look Mom, it's not my address. I'm still homeless. The address I'm giving you isn't mine and it won't lead you to me so don't even try. Just overnight the passport to me there if you ever loved me, and I'll promise to see you someday."
To the dead silence over the phone Neville continues, "If you can't do this for me I'll never pray for your soul again, and I swear to God you'll die an old lady without ever hearing from me again. You know I can do it to you too; two years surviving on the streets has given me the conviction to stick to that resolve."
"I'm sorry," She starts.
Neville cuts her off, continuing on as if she didn't say anything, "And this phone is stolen just so you know. If it gets reported and the police call, you tell them it was some scam trying to get your credit card number. Now the passport, don't put your name or a return address on it or else it connects you to this call, and you'll get me sent to jail. I'm only here for a couple days tops, can you do me the small kindness?"
She repeats, "The passport to you, no return name or address, don't mention this phone call. I'll do it. Eli, I love you. I miss you so much, we all do. What happened, it wasn't right."
Hearing the desperation in his mother's voice, Neville cracks, "You saved my life Mom. I'll always love you for that alone. Not that I don't love you and miss you guys every day; I do, all but that asshole. But I've also nearly starved to death and nearly frozen to death. I've tried selling my body, thankfully there were no takers, and have done so much wrong in order to survive. That rests on your soul as well as mine. Repeat the address?"
Neville repeats it back to Josh as she repeats it to him. Josh nods his head affirmatively.
"Good, now hide it from Mr. Johnson. I'm sure Monday's still your grocery day, please send the passport then. Use the postal outlet kiosk that's beside the grocery store, and express post it if you really ever loved me. Remember, don't call this number back. I stole this phone to call you. Just warning you that I'm taking the battery out and smashing the phone as soon as I hang up, so I won't be answering it if you try."
His mother pleads, "Won't you come home?"
"Not a chance as long as that vile man still lives," Neville says as he remembers, "Oh my God, how is Grandpa?"
She pauses, "Oh Eli, he fought the cancer for a while longer. I lost him the winter after I lost you."
Balancing his emotions to this point, he finally falls over the edge and tears start to form and fall from his closed green eyes, "I'm sorry Mom. I know you were close."
Hoping to exploit the moment, she tries, "Eli, come home? You're Dad's not upset anymore. He didn't really mean it. He's very sorry. Come home? Things would have blown over in a few days or weeks."
Neville's knees give out and he drops to the ground. He wonders, `Have the last two years and change of barely surviving really been for nothing?'
Another wave of white-hot anger flares within him. He regains the cold edge to his voice, "I can't. Not after everything. That's not fair to even say that Mom; you're the one that told me to run and never look back. You may have been right then, you may be right now, but we'll never know. I love you. Send the passport if you still love me. Bye."
As Neville presses the end button on the phone Josh exhales, unaware he's been holding his breath, "Holy crap!"
Neville nods his head, "I told you Josh. None of it was a lie. My dad really was going to kill me and I have been on my own ever since you've known me. Thanks for always helping me, you are a Godsend. Now pick your jaw up and watch the door for me again?"
"Why?"
"Because you don't steal, and I don't feel much like it anymore either. Here, figure out how to wipe the memory for me and then stand guard while I return this," Neville commands.
Playing with the phone, Josh comments, "You've been to Cancun? Must be nice, I've only been over to Boston."
Neville looks up to the fluorescent lights as he tries to quell his tears, "Yeah, my Grandma was born here but her parents were from Mexico. You can only really tell by the shape of my eyes I think, but all our eyes definitely came from Grandma's side. So anyways, yeah, when Grandpa was in remission a few years ago we went to visit Gran's cousins and family in Mexico. Mostly I played on the beach with my brothers and sisters."
"You didn't tell her about Eli."
"Uh, someday, but not today. That was hard enough. I didn't know how to, and it wasn't the time," Neville says, wondering about the infant he's sure he heard over the phone.
"What was that you asked your mom about your Grandpa?"
"He died from cancer. He was real sick this time, when I got chased out of home."
"Were you close?"
"Yeah, real close. They were just a couple farms over. One or two of us were always sent over there when we were younger. You know, pretty much to give Mom a break because six of us were a lot to look after. I used to always volunteer to go because I loved to pretend I worked in the cheese shop on their farm, and they let me help out. They'd get me to straighten out the shelves and make display castles out of the small bricks of cheese and I just thought it was fun. I never realized then that they were partly putting me to work to keep me from running around and destroying the place, and partly just putting me to work!"
Josh hands Neville the phone, "Here. I wiped the recent calls, and then did a reset to original settings. This card's like the brain or DNA of the phone, so give the phone back, but we keep this thing and ditch it. The kid can take it to the phone company and get a new one so no harm, no foul. At least he won't have to pay for a new phone."
"Okay, stand guard again?"
Neville returns faster than Josh would have thought possible, "Thanks Josh! Go have a great game."
).:.(<<
"Mom, Dad. We need to talk. Nev's been staying over a lot lately. He always tries to protest at first, and as you know, more than before he's giving in and staying. We're not sleeping together. Not like kissing or touching, and certainly no sex. I'm actually pretty certain he's homeless too, but this isn't about that. You've always been cool with him crashing in my bed. Door open and all but whatever. In fact you've been awesome, all things considered. So please keep that thought...Nev won me a trip to Houston and I want him to go with me."
"Houston? Kids your age can't go to Houston alone," Cathy answers.
"He's 18 Mom, I'm 17. You're just mad at him because he got Brooke pregnant. You should really ask Brooke all about that some time you know. Like how he was so in shock that he was pretty much catatonic, and basically trapped in his own mind while she targeted, and then used him to breed. Sexually, all he's ever wanted is to feel connected to a lover while the guy you know, is in him. And I wouldn't do that because he wouldn't let me into his heart. Trust me; I don't get it but he has close to zero desire to put his in another guy, let alone a girl."
Through raised eyebrows, Cathy and Jonas look to each other. They communicate with their eyes that they have much to discuss after Bailey leaves. Cathy already suspected that Brooke had been the aggressor of the two based on Neville's meek nature, and her dominant nature. Jonas watched Neville enough when he worked at the diner to know for sure that girls do not register on his radar. Bailey's information confirms their suspicion.
With both Cathy and Bailey's eyes on him Jonas makes a split-second decision, "I don't see why not. You've done your community service and your probation is up. Just behave in Houston. Treat him with kid gloves Bailey. Think with your brain, not your heart and not your other head. Whatever's going on between you two lately, you are both wound tighter than a juiced baseball."
).:.(<<
Wednesday morning Josh hunts Neville down in the library after his high school hockey practice. Handing Neville the passport, Josh shrugs his shoulders, "I had to lie for you. My Dad opened it when it arrived because he wanted to make sure it wasn't porn or something, I don't know. It's not like I bother to hide my Hustler and Penthouse collections in my room."
Neville snaps his fingers at Josh, bringing him back from wherever his glazed-over eyes were, "The passport?"
"Oh yeah, I guess I got a little side tracked there! Anyway, I told him your cousin, Elijah Harold Johnson, was visiting you and your kid on his school's Christmas break before flying south to join his family, and he needed his passport that he forgot at home, so we used my place so that my Dad would be home to receive it."
"He didn't buy it did he?" Neville asks.
"Actually, he did, Harold," Josh nudges Neville.
"I never went by that name. I never liked it much. It sounds old and stuffy to me, plus it's one of the sperm-donors names. I liked Eli."
"Wait, you're saying Neville doesn't sound old and stuffy? I've met dozens of other Josh's, but I've never even heard of anyone else being named Neville."
"Uh, okay. Thanks for helping."
"That's it?"
"Oh, I can get you some money I guess for you tomorrow. I kind of ate the lunch I brought already and I'm still hungry. I was going to use what I've got on me to get a hot dog and a juice at lunch."
"Fuck off! I don't want your money. Inquiring minds want to know why you need the passport in such a hurry. Skipping town before Cathy and Jonas drop an alimony notice in your lap?"
"Uh, no. Bailey won a trip to Houston on the radio. Well, I did actually, but I pretended to be him. He's making me go with him, so I need my passport."
"You gave me your famous on-the-spot-pause there. You are coming back? I'll find you myself and drag your ass back if you skip out on your kid. Don't be like your dad."
"I've thought about it. What good am I to Eli? But then I want to be there too, so I'm coming back. I promise. But again I ask, why can't you be my boyfriend? You know me as well as your dick knows your hand."
"My dick knows my hand because it doesn't want to get to know you that way. I'm sure your ass could give me hours of fun, but when we flip you over so I can fuck your tits while you blow me, that's where it goes south, partner. I mean you got nice tight pecks Nev, but I want to sit on a chick's stomach and fuck her tits while she blows the tip until I white-wash her face."
"That's your fantasy?"
"Fuck yeah!"
"Okay, I guess I never thought of that because I don't think of girls. You know, it may not be a girl's idea of hot, you blowing your load on her face or in her mouth."
"Then unlike you, I'll wear a condom! I'll even cuddle afterwards and listen to her girlie problems. Just think about how hot it would be to rub your boner between a firm pair of big, perky tits! Don't tell me my ass is better than that!"
"Ten times better, easily. If you're willing to be bi, I could take you from behind while you do your thing to a girl. Although my fantasy involves you and my hot ass, but you're too afraid."
Josh laughs, "No, I'm not afraid of you anymore. I'm just not turned on by you. There's a difference. I'm afraid of Mr. Boucher giving me a shit grade if I'm late for his math class. C'mon, let's go, the warning bell's going to ring."
"We've still got ten minutes."
"I haven't been to my locker yet, and I need to see what Courtney's wearing today!"
"Ah yes, Courtney. Of course; you'll need time for your boner to deflate before entering your math class. You know, a hot teacher like Miss James has her choice of any guy her own age. No way she's interested in any of you horny teenagers that worship her. She probably laughs inside at how sad all you little high school boys are."
Josh stares off dreamily, "See you at lunch unless they let us out earlier for the storm."
).:.(<<
An impending storm holds off throughout the day, but the forecast for overnight is worse. Worried for Neville, Megan and Bailey are waiting after school to escort him to their home with Mrs. MacLeod looking on. Knowing that Mrs. MacLeod will take serious offence if he refers to them as Gestapo, Neville instead curses, "Grozit!"
Megan acts offended, "What now? Did you just tell me to grow zits? No thanks! Unlike your average pimple farmer here, I take care of my skin. Almost as much as Bailey!"
"He just employed a made-up curse word from a series of Star Trek: New Frontier novels that he's borrowed off my shelves," Mrs. MacLeod says with a disapproving nod of her head at the two of them.
"Fine, I know why you're escorting me. You all win. But I have to stop by the arena first and talk to my boss."
Once they're out of sight from Mrs. Macleod, Neville stops and turns to Megan and Bailey, "Okay. Here's the deal. I know you guys are looking out for me. I appreciate it, and I won't fight you guys, much. If I promise to be by in an hour or so, will you guys let me do a few things first?"
Bailey tries to joke, "Like what? Make snow angels? You better not be cutting me out of that fun!"
"Says the ten year old," Megan hits Bailey, then turns to Neville, "What super-secret things do you have to do?"
Neville rolls his eyes, "Masturbate, Megan. I can't do it if I stay over and I've been needing to rub one out all day."
Megan cocks her head at him and waves a finger, "The offer still stands for me to relieve you of your penis."
"No doubt. But seriously, after the arena I have to stop off at home and leave some food out for my cat and change his litter. And I want to grab some clothes too. Besides, you'll both be working tonight so I'll get bored. I'll come by around 9."
Megan counters, "Why don't you come by around 6 or 7 and spend some time with my girlfriend and your son?"
"Uh, fair enough. Sometime between 6 and 7 then. Mr. Whiskers is going to get mad at me for deserting him."
).:.(<<
With everything agreed upon, as Bailey and Megan start walking home Neville crosses the outdoor ice rink on the school field. Inside the arena he finds Erin preparing nacho toppings for the night, "Hey Erin, got a sec?"
"Sure Guv'na. If you're wondering about tomorrow, take it off if you don't mind. If we're open, we won't be busy. You know you need a phone that I can get a hold of you at? And apparently some jeans that are long enough for you too! What do you do with all your money, smoke up?"
"No, never touched a drug in my life," Neville says, pulling out his passport, "Look, here's the deal. See this? That's me. The address I gave you is my friend's. I'm technically homeless, I stay with friends. That's my real name, but I'm legally changing it to what I gave you. All my money was going to my college savings, except for what my cat and I eat. Now it's probably all going to my week-old son."
Erin's taken aback, "Wow, okay?"
Neville carries on, unaware of how surprised Erin is, "Yeah, but that's not what I came to talk to you about, and I wasn't going to flake off on my shift tomorrow. I was wondering about getting a week off around New Year's. It's almost strictly kid's tournaments here that week. Men's league and night time shinny are cancelled. My ex and I won a trip to Houston on the radio. Everything's paid for and we get a thousand dollars cash to spend there."
"I think that will be okay. Your ex huh?"
"Yeah, he's talking to me again, finally accepted that I screwed up huge when I somehow slept with his sister."
"Slow this down for me. You slept with your ex's sister way back when, which he has every right to kill you for, and you had a kid a week ago and didn't say anything at all to me?"
"Uh, yeah, we were real busy last week."
"We were too busy for you to mention you just became a freakin' father?"
"Well, when you put it that way...I'm really happy, he's so amazing...But I'm a little embarrassed to be a teenage father."
"Holy crap! Hey Miles, you hear this? Our little man here is a dad!"
Miles pops around the corner with a bottle of Tequila and three shot glasses, "Babe, anyone that's more than half a foot taller than me isn't a little man. It figures the girls are trying to bag him. Congrats Guv'na!"
).:.(<<
Partway through the night a horrific noise coming from the fire escape wakes Neville. He gets up and takes a moment to realize it's not Eli crying from down the hall. The noise doesn't stir Bailey, so Neville creeps over to the door to see what pathetic animal is making the noise. He's worried his cat somehow escaped the basement and got caught outside. His emotions take over when he spots a drenched and miserable looking cat outside that he's long ago befriended, but is too skitterish for him to be able to coax inside. Making eye contact through the glass, Mr. Whisker's brother now cries even harder to be let in as he paws at the door.
Looking at the pleading eyes and hearing the sad meows, Neville can't bear to let the cat freeze to death outside so he opens the door to a blast of cold. Just his luck, the cat backs away from the door. Neville quietly tries to lure his kindred spirit inside to no avail, getting wet himself with the sleet and snow that is whipping around outside. Attempting to step outside into the weather only makes the dishevelled cat back off another couple feet towards the steps. Almost giving up, looking at the water that he's letting in, Neville tries one last thing.
He leaves the door partly open and walks away from it, taking a seat on the pull-out bed that Bailey was on when they went to sleep, and looking away from the door. Having heard Bailey's earlier excuse about the pull-out collapsing, to get in bed with him while still slightly asleep, Neville interests himself with the pull-out. Stretching out on it, he finds that the front does collapse, but upon investigation he also finds the bar that braces it in place and sets it.
From the corner of his eye he can see that the brother of Mr. Whiskers has slinked inside and is attempting to hide behind the large urn of a potted plant that is over five feet tall. Neville slowly makes his way to the door and closes it, the cat watching but not moving a whisker as he does so. Neville looks hard for one more cat that he knows has to be somewhere nearby outside, but is always the most untrusting of the trio he took Mr. Whiskers from.
Before slipping back into bed with Bailey, Neville uses Bailey's sweatshirt from the evening to wipe the wall and hardwood floor dry and his own shirt to dry the cat. He debates using the pull-out, but the bed is just way too comfortable to pass up. They can both make their half-assed excuses in the morning he figures, for now he wants to get back to the softest, warmest bed he can ever recall. After a few minutes debate, he reaches out and rests his hand on Bailey's arm. Being in contact with him is just too good of a feeling to pass up on.
The morning announces itself with more grey skies, but the sleet and strong winds have temporarily subsided and now only snow is falling. Bailey woke a few times through the night because he's not accustomed to another person's movements in his bed again, and because he normally ends up on the side Neville occupied. He was beyond tempted to fondle Neville, but didn't. His emotions are still torn as he hopes for another night with Neville staying over so that he can do so.
Debating the pro's and con's of it, he checks to see that Neville is asleep and decides to go for it. `Wow' is all he can think when he gropes Neville, he's really missed playing with Neville's member. The brief contact makes Neville stir and change position, causing Bailey to quickly recoil.
Thoughts about getting re-acquainted with Neville's manhood get pushed from his mind when a striped grey cat leaps up in front of his face and starts purring. Bailey's surprised but pleased that the cat he's been feeding and trying to trick inside for weeks is on his bed. Reaching to pet the cat, it backs away. Sitting by his feet, the cat looks from Bailey to Neville and back.
"Hey there, how'd you get in," Bailey asks as he slowly puts his hand out for the cat to smell.
Startling the cat as he sits up, Neville sheepishly explains, "Sorry about that. He was dying outside. At first I couldn't figure out why he was making such a sad sound on the top level of a fire escape in the first place in this storm until I saw the food and milk saucers you have out there. I couldn't let him die."
"You're awake I see," Bailey comments, very worried that Neville is aware of just being felt up.
"Yeah. Nice way to wake up," Neville is very aware that Bailey was just cradling his crotch and tracing his length but he doesn't let on, "To the purring of a little beast that was a half-frozen wet rat only hours ago, that is. Look at him now, all groomed and playful. You wouldn't guess he's even capable of making such a bone-chilling noise."
Bailey cautiously pets beneath the cats chin, "You're fine now aren't you girl? Yes you are, aren't you Bonkers?"
Neville remarks, "Bonkers huh? Just so you know, from this vantage point, Bonkers is a boy."
Now it's Bailey's turn to be sheepish, "Don't let my parents know about him, we've never really had pets. I'll keep him in my room with the door closed. If he's quiet they never have to know."
Feeling happy for his fellow stray, Neville points out, "You're going to need a litter box. I think he's already been looking for one. I heard him pawing."
"You've always had a cat haven't you?"
"Tons. We used to find so many barn cats, they're like a plague when you live on a dairy farm. We always had at least one in the house. None as pretty as this guy though. He's so awesome!"
As he watches Bailey play with the cat, and occasionally petting him too when he rubs up against him, the sight of Bailey with bed-head and his cute face arouses Neville.
"I heard Eli up a little while ago, I'd really like to go have another shower if it's alright with you and then maybe hold him for a bit and let Brooke and Megan rest. And thanks so much for letting me sleep over again, your cloud-bed is just awesome. It's like one giant, amazingly warm, fluffy pillow," Neville says as he slips out of bed.
For a brief moment he makes sure Bailey has a good chance to take in the tent in front of his track pants. Bailey does stare, way too long in fact, but Neville pretends not to notice. He's absolutely certain that Bailey has feelings again for him now, but he doesn't know what he wants to do about it. He needs time to think through it through. For the moment he just wants his problem to deflate.
"Uh, I've got a bit of a problem in case you didn't notice. Could you like maybe grab a towel from your linen closet and toss it in the bathroom for me? I'll leave the door unlocked; I just don't want to parade this thing around if you know what I mean."
"Oh. Oh," Bailey says, pretending to just catch on to what Neville is purposely waving in his face, "Sure. I'll just drop one inside the door. I'll bring your bag for you too. I don't want to go through your personal stuff on you."
Neville laughs inside that Bailey just moments ago did exactly that; went thought his personal stuff, "Yeah, thanks. Maybe just toss the bag and a towel in the bathroom for me then?"
Under a steady stream of tepid water cascading over him, unlike his garden hose hooked up to the cold water tap because the water from the hot tap is too hot, Neville almost forgets to even wash as the shower is so soothing. Facing the bathroom door but looking to the ceiling while purposely soaping his groin for much longer than necessary, he's confident that Bailey sneaks a good look when the door opens slightly and his bag is left for him.
Finishing his shower quickly once Bailey shuts the door, Neville hopes, `What's your game Bailey? Are we going to get back together or are you just missing me? I still love you, please find it in your heart to forgive me.'
).:.(<<
A week later on a smoke break, Bailey sneaks up the fire escape to feed Bonkers, but finds he's not in his room.
Taking too long as he searches the ally for him, he gets caught by his father, "Bailey, if you're looking for the cat we don't have, a week ago I'd say to try the dumpsters. Monday seems to be garbage and recycling day for whomever around here has a thing for tuna fish and canned soup and vegetables. He's been drinking water and eating leftover tuna set out for him there for at least two months, along with the chicken and milk you started giving him on your balcony the last few weeks, right up until you took him in."
As Bailey steps towards the dumpsters without thinking, he realizes he's caught. Jonas just laughs, "I said I'd have looked for him there a week ago. He won't be there now. Oh, and your mother prefers the name Felix. You'll have to discuss that with her when you decide to tell us you're harbouring a cat."
"You know about Bonkers?"
"Bonkers? Good luck selling that to your mom, but it fits him perfectly! It is like he has split personality."
"How'd you find him?"
"Every time Eli cries, he meows at the door. He meows like crazy, all day, locked up in your room! Last week Brooke and your mom were letting him roam the house until you kids should be getting home and then locked him back up for your charade. Sometimes he manages to escape your room and we don't quite know how, today we found him in the basement after you went to school. I'm surprised you didn't notice he wasn't in your room. Today we decided to see what you did when we didn't put him back."
"So we can keep him?"
"He's already caught a few mice in the house, so yeah, he's earned his stay."
"So where is he now then?"
"He's probably hiding in his spot under the table beside the couch in the living room; that seems to be his safe place to watch from. Either that or he's getting some attention in Brooke and Megan's room. Now Ronnie could use a hand in the kitchen, it's still busy."
).:.(<<
Going to bed early after an exhaustive search for Mr. Whiskers, Neville is saddened, `How can I ever take care of a kid when I can't even take care of a cat? I thought we'd bonded alright but he chose to run off into the piles of snow outside and I was too careless to notice him getting out. Is that how things go in my life? My son is born so karma takes my kitty-cat away? I was just trying to help the little guy survive; I didn't mean to take his affection for granted.
I know I've been pre-occupied Mr. Whiskers. I tried to keep your litter box clean with new newspapers and even switched to tuna in water so that you didn't get bad oils in you from eating the other stuff. Aw, how am I going to sleep tonight knowing you're back out there in the cold Mr. Whiskers? I'm sorry I failed you buddy.'
The next day as he visits with Brooke, Megan, and Eli, Neville is elated to see Mr. Whiskers watching Eli from the safety of a bookshelf, "Got a cat do ya?"
"Don't act all innocent, Bailey spilled his guts that you're the one that let him in."
"You strays have to stick together, you don't have to defend it Nev. Besides, Felix is just what Bailey and Bethany need so they don't feel left out," Megan says with a punch to Neville's stomach.
"Yeah, well I'm just relieved my little buddy has a better home now," Neville says with sincerity. Looking at Mr. Whiskers he's more than curious as to where the cat Bailey has taken to calling Bonkers has gotten to.
"Here's a question for ya; are all of your family jolly green giants? How big were you as a baby? Should we expect Eli to tower nearly a foot and a half over us too?"
"I have no idea. Yeah, even the girls are tall, but Mom was pretty short."
).:.(<<
After eating in the diner with Megan, Neville gets stopped by Jonas as he takes his plates to the dishwasher, "Do you have a minute to talk?"
"Uh, yeah," Neville says while being led into the store room.
As Jonas closes the door he asks, "There's no need for a paternity test is there?"
Neville looks down at Jonas, "No sir, Eli's mine."
"Going by Brooke's description it wasn't exactly consensual."
For once Neville's fight or flight instinct is telling him to fight, "No offence to Brooke, sir, and I'll accept full responsibility of Eli, but I promise you I didn't force that to happen."
"The way Cathy and I understand it, Brooke did. She's told her us that you were nearly in tears and not really an active participant. What I want to know is how a boy your size couldn't manage to push her off and get away. I know Brooke wanted this; she and Megan always planned to have kids young. I'm sure she chose you as soon as we got to know you. But are you really that downtrodden in your life that you just let it happen?"
Neville doesn't know how to respond, "I don't know what you've heard, but I was deeply in love with Bailey. I still am. Eli is amazing, but if you want the truth sir, I didn't expect pregnancy until it was too late. As naive as it sounds, I didn't think that at only half, or quarter-hard, that I was going to create a baby. I don't know why, but I felt paralyzed. Like in a dream when you try to move your arms and legs but can't. Only it wasn't a dream. That sounds like a load of horse-apples, even to me, but I swear to God Himself, it's the truth."
"You're living in a group home I hear. We'll cover the costs of raising Eli, but what if we give you a room, pay for your expenses, pay for your school?"
"In exchange for what? As much as Brooke may have wanted this outcome, I'm not terribly upset with it. Surely I could have fought her off somehow, but she gave me something my life was never destined to. We did it twice. Eli is not a mistake or the product of rape or anything evil. He's a blessing I don't have words to describe. I don't need your bribe, and he doesn't need to grow up knowing he is anything but loved."
"Then here, take back this cheque you gave Brooke and cash it. Jerry Smith says it's still good. Buy your son a teddy bear or sleeper or something already. And don't mess around with Bailey in Houston. My son's been mind-fucked enough already. He doesn't need you in his head, and you don't need him in yours."
"Yes sir," Neville says as he's led to the back door, but feels otherwise, `Your son is back to molesting me when he thinks I'm asleep. I think he's gotten over things. Who knows though, the whole situation is messed up.'
).:.(<<
Back for a visit the next day after school, Neville has a plush stitched-cloth polar bear that he spent much of his homework time on finding last night. After visiting Eli for a while he pops into Bailey's room for a short visit.
When Mr. Whiskers jumps off the bed to greet Neville, Bailey looks up, "I know what you're thinking, I got a cat so that I don't feel left out. I' don't know, maybe it's true. I sure would feel better if he'd not leave me for you."
"You have two cats, surely one of them likes you."
"No, that's the only cat."
Neville looks at his missing cat, "Sure it is."
"What do you mean: sure it is? That's Bonkers all right, aren't you boy? Yes you are, aren't you?"
"Nope, not a chance. This guy's markings are close, but his whiskers are longer and his nose is lighter. He has the longest whiskers I've seen on a cat," Neville points out as he picks the cat up, inside thinking, `That's why I called him Mr. Whiskers. Thanks for purring for me buddy, I miss you but things have worked out well for you.'
"You really think so? How could we have two? You only let this guy in."
"Your Bonkers is way more timid than this guy. This guy purrs differently too, listen to it, so soothing. I'd bet they're the same litter, probably brothers, but definitely not the same cat," Neville says, knowing that there are in fact three cats and guessing that they all must have stuck together out of their litter. He knows this with certainty because along with the two he's seen inside the Regan's home within the past couple minutes, he saw the most skitterish of the three by the dumpsters when he went to school in the morning.
"Okay, if you say so," Bailey says with an animated wink to let Neville know he doesn't believe it.
Bailey waits until Neville is ready to leave for his shift at the sports bar to drop the news, "We're shutting down for three days and going to Moncton for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. You and I fly out of Moncton for Houston on Boxing Day. You should come with us for Christmas."
Neville is caught off guard. He hadn't anticipated being alone for Christmas, especially not seeing Eli. While disappointed, at the same time he's relieved that he doesn't have to deal with what he now views as an awkward holiday, "We'll do gifts before you guys go then. I want to keep it real small though. I'll catch the greyhound to Moncton and meet you at the airport."
"Who are you going to spend Christmas with?"
Putting on the coat Josh tried to tell him was too small for himself last year, yet is still big enough for Neville's long arms and body this year, Neville sighs, "I'll do some rounds. Christmas Eve I'll help Reverend Francis at the church. Christmas Day I'll stop in to see the O'Keefe's, Josh, and then have dinner at the church. I'll have a early night and then onto the bus first thing in the morning."
Bailey decides against arguing, "See you tonight?"
).:.(<<
When Neville returns after his shift, Bailey is in a mismatched pair of pyjamas on top of his bed, petting Bonkers, "Seems you were right. At dinner we were talking about how his personality seems so bi-polar and Mom had agreed that Bonkers is the right name for him. Then Bethany brought him downstairs for dinner, but he was already watching us from the top of the kitchen cupboards. So we realized he has split personality because he is two different cats! They're like exact twins, except you were right about the nose, one is slightly lighter."
"And the whiskers?"
"Yeah. But Dad is pissed. Well, as pissed as he gets."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm calling them both Bonkers because we can't really tell them apart."
"They're way different! This one hides a lot and the other is in your face! This guy's nose is brown and the other one's is pink. Their markings are close but I'm pretty sure the other guy has a more solid pattern on his head."
"I know, just getting your goat. The one with the light nose and long whiskers is Max and this guy is Felix."
"You're keeping them both then?"
"Yeah, but Dad made it crystal clear that the next one to let another cat in is taking its place in the alley! Oh, hey, everybody wants you to come with us for Christmas. You have to be there for Eli's first Christmas."
"I don't know Bailey. I don't want to miss Christmas with Eli, but I don't even know your family."
"The only ones you won't know are my grandparents. Mom's parents will only be with us Christmas day. We can sleep in longer before we hit the airport instead of you hopping a greyhound first thing Boxing Day morning. It's going to be a hellish long day as it, flying to Toronto to get onto a flight to Houston."
"Uh, Bailey? Your family's been so nice to me already. I can't always be living off your generosity like this."
"It's not generosity. I thought you stayed over because we were tight again and you were cool with it."
"Well, let me just clear up a few things for you then Cheekio! I'm not a charity case. I have my own home and life. I'm just guarded about it all. If you could read my mind, if you could see things from my view, I know you'd understand. But you can't, so you'll just have to take my word for it. That's the best I can offer."
"And?"
"And what?"
"You said a few things; that's one. So what else ya gots for me?"
"I appreciate you being such a good friend. Your family has been great too; Brooke, Megan, your parents. But I have to stop staying with you. Two ex-boyfriends sharing a bed is, well...weird, if not just plain wrong. 'Specially if at least one of those boys wronged the other."
Bailey is uncomfortable, "No, you're probably right."
"Well I am right. We both deserve better than this and I just can't live this fantasy anymore," Neville says and flees, leaving Bailey in shock.
[to be continued]
).:.(<<
I've published one of my other stories: In This Cruel World! It's available in paperback and e-book formats worldwide through Amazon, Kindle and many other online retailers. Check my myspace for direct links: www.myspace.com/phantomscorpio77. So far I haven't collected any royalties from it, and am looking to get them donated on my behalf from my publisher to a gay youth support group. Any suggestions?
Cheers, Jade :)