If Only I Could

Published on Sep 15, 2002

Gay

If Only I Could 19 Yeah, I know it has been a while, been busy with moving again yeah i know again This time living bye the Sea. Just been enjoying living in the desert, and all that lovely heat :). OK getting to the important stuff. THIS IS FICTION. I don't know Britney Spears BSB N'Sync, or anyone associated with the groups. I don't know about their sexual orientation as well nor do I care. Feel free to contact me, here's mye-mail

Oh By the way there are some great stories out there read them. Lance JC and The astral Fan is cool of course it has Lance in it. If you haven't read it read sex in the city good story fun read love the little twist. Hmm Justin as a leatherboy just too funny. anyway hope you enjoy the story take care. everyone been waiting for this one.

"You Know you guys should get out of the pool and join the party" Kevin laughed

"Yes DADS" Melissa stressed " Stop being horny and stop molesting each other, save it for the Wedding night"

"I believe we have been properly chastised" I spoke into James ear as we stood there in the pool"

"Well she is yours?" James winked

"Correction she is ours as off tomorrow"

"Correction she is mine" Nick hollered

"I am nobody's thank you very much" Mel snarked

"You tell them Girl" Britney laughed and high fived Mel at the same time

"Oh please knock off the whole women power crap"

"Crap" Lily spoke she sounded very pissed

"Excuse me" Leighanne said tapping her foot

"Rephrase that buddy" Britney said

"Yes Dad" Mel spoke

I turned around to note that James had begun to move away from me in the pool. That traitor as well I noted that the rest of the guys were moving away form the girls there were definitely distancing themselves. The sorry boys as if I'm sacred.

"What it is I am women hear me roar please take some Motrin and relax" I smirked as I got out of the pool. The boys just watched shocked with mouths open.

"Bitch" Lily spoke

"That's BIOTCH to you and you say it like it's a bad thing"

"You have no gatekeeper do you? things just shoot out of your mouth." Britney added

"I have a gatekeeper otherwise I would have said a lot more. He's just gets overwhelmed sometimes. After all he can't catch everything"

"uh uh watch it other wise Lance won't be very happy when we cut wee Caleb off" Leighanne laughed

"I thought we covered it wasn't Wee earlier"

"Alright leave my man alone and all his parts thank you" James said laughing coming my defense all be it too late.

"You stay over there you deserted me earlier. Don't try and suck up now"

"But sweetie the women scare me"

"Yeah whatever ya big pansy don't let it happen again"

"Here you go Caleb have some more wine"

"Oh wine"

"Sorry no more of that I am not going to suffer all night"

"Oh come on you love wine" James whined "for me"

"For you huh well I will be horny then what"

"But I like it"

"Fine hey AJ think you could leave Kevin alone for the night what do you say one last Time for Posterity sake" I winked AJ caught my wink and looked at Kevin. " Sure I love it when you drink wine" he swooned

"I don't think so" Kevin laughed

"Yes I agree there will be none of that " James said grabbing my waist " You won't be having any more wine just in case" He directed at me.

"Yes dear" I smirked knowing full well that I got my own way he is so easy to manipulate.

We mingled the rest of the night it was fun close friends, old stories mostly of me and James so they could embarrass us. I was dreading the party coming to an end but it had to. We would have to get up early in the morning lots of preparing to do. It sucked that they were still going to separate us for the night. Despite not having any more wine for the night I was pretty drunk. I started doing shots with everyone, I was alternating it with the guys so they weren't aware until it was too late by then James I think was a little pissed.

"Oh Sweetie You look so sexy when you pissed" I slurred to James who was standing next to me actually he was more like holding me up.

"O really, Well you better be sober by tomorrow"

"Or else"

"You really don't want to go there . I can't believe you got pissed the night before our wedding. I don't care how sick you are tomorrow you better be at the alter. we need to leave" the last part was directed at the guys in hoped of ushering everyone home.

"Yeah Lance is right lets go, tomorrow is going to come fast" Britney said.

"You guys going to be ok with him" James asked Kevin and AJ

"Yeah we got it and we promise we get him sober by the morning"

"Yeah you better" Lance said he turned and looked at me I had a smirk and I was trying desperately not to let it through I as weaved back and forth, "and you just show up tomorrow " he then leaned forward and kissed me goodnight on the cheek.

"I knew you still loved me" I continue to slur my words this time I followed it with a hiccup

"Yeah I do"

"Ok buy guys take care oh him ok. Night guys" with that he left with Justin and Britney. I turned towards Kevin and AJ and smiled broadly " Shall we leave" I spoke quite clearly obviously still drunk but not to the extent as before. They looked at me with shock.

"What I was just playing with him I am not that drunk please you have seen me drink far more then that AJ, I was just playing it up I like the little scowl James gets when he is upset it is too cute"

"You are one strange duck "

"Yeas but you looooove me " I sang

"Don't push it ok come on lets get going before the sun rises" Kevin said grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the car. AJ had followed behind me laughing at mine and Kevin antics as I struggled to get away from him until Kevin finally picked me up and through me up over his shoulder. There I was again staring at his ass. Not that it was a bad thing I looked up and blew the hair from my eyes I smirked and made eye contact with AJ as I did I grabbed Kevin's ass. "Nice ass baby" I giggled only to receive a slap on my ass from him in return. "Easy boy my man is watching, AJ open the Door sweetie so I can load the fat ass."

"Hey"

"You sure maybe we should put him in the trunk"

"Kinky AJ" Kevin replied

"Hello I am right here and there will be no placing in the trunk "

"Relax Caleb" AJ said as he opened the back door for Kevin. Kevin let me down and nudged me to the door. "Here you go lets move its late and you need to get some sleep. Oh no throwing up in the back."

"hah ha Funny I am not going to get sick. You guys tell you what drive me home you don't have to let anyone know it will be between you and me"

Kevin laughed as AJ started up the car " We could do that but then you would be all alone tonight and god knows what you would get up too. We all thought this might happen so Lance is actually staying with Justin and Britney."

"You are kidding me you guys suck. You are definitely not going to let me enjoy tonight"

"No we are not plus you will be grateful tomorrow"

"I'm still not sure" I pouted.

"Lighten up" Kevin had turned around and grabbed my knee with his hand and gave it a little squeeze. Lance will be there tomorrow don't worry. "

"I know there is no where for him to go this time"

"Sure of that are you" AJ joked

"Yeah I am I already checked with NASA there are no space flights scheduled" I laughed

"Oh my God" AJ Burst out laughing "I almost forgot about that,"

"The last time that it happened when we broke up to ovoid em he did that inane space flight nonsense. I knew I was mad at him but shit I was so panicked I thought I had lost him for sure. What an ego boost when you ex boyfriend goes to the space to ovoid you."

"I m sure he won't do it again." Beside it was because of that you guys got back together. Lance told me when he was up there looking down everything looked so small and I guess put it into perspective for him."

"Still if he thinks he is going into outer space again he is extremely nuts. I am not letting him out of my site"

"A little possessive I see, poor Lance" AJ sighed

I reached forward to smack AJ but Kevin caught my hand and wagged his finger at me "No hitting my boyfriend."

I huffed and sat back don and watched he traffic go by. There was a surprising amount of traffic for being late. It started to peter out as we reached the side roads pulling into AJ and Kevin Neighborhood. I remained quite just thinking of tomorrow and what could go wrong. Why am I so uptight about it I really need to be more positive James is not going to leave me at the alter.

"Earth to Caleb come on lets go we are here"

"Ok , I am really tired all of a sudden. The sooner I get to sleep the quicker the morning comes"

"You never change just like a child at Christmas" Kevin smiled as he helped me out of the car. I hadn't sobered up much and I was still a little tipsy along with tired. I need to get to sleep. We made our way into the house following AJ as he made his way up stairs. Kevin helped me into the guest room and sat me on the bed . "here give me your boots and take your shirt off" I lifted the tight shirt up over my head and as I pulled it off I flopped back on the bed. Kevin looked at me and smiled." Well it makes it easier to take these off then he said as if pulled my boots off letting them flop on the floor. "Now the pants"

"What exactly are you doing that you need to take his pants off" AJ spoke from the doorway he was already ready for bed standing there in only his boxers

"Wohoo sexy ass " I laughed from my place on the bed. Kevin had a hold of he cuffs of my pants and my legs in the air. Getting ready to pull the tight leather pants off me.

"Stop flirting and be quite. And you" Kevin pointed to AJ " Come here and help me get him ready for bed God knows he is no help what so ever."

"All right I will help your so we can go to bed"

"what your going to leave me all alone tonight that's no fair what am I going to do how am I going to sleep"

"Easy close you eyes " Kevin laughed as he and AJ pulled my pants off leaving me in my Jock"

"WHOA wasn't expecting that" AJ exclaimed

"What did you expect me to wear with those pants." I felt something wet on my cheek I didn't understand why my cheek was wet then I realized I was softly crying the silent tears rolling off my cheeks.

"Oh God I forgot how he gets when he gets drunk. " AJ sighed "Why do you always get down Lance was right you shouldn't have done shots you always got modlin after you drank hard liquor."

"You hate me" I sniffled

"Oh God " AJ repeated

"AJ be quiet . No Caleb he doesn't hate you he just well we both were surprised. By what you were wearing. Now AJ is right you and the hard stuff don't mix well you have to agree"

I just nodded tears running down my face as I wiped at them with my arm. " I know I can't help it I have this fear everything is going to fall apart in the next few hours"

"Its ok we do understand but nothing is going to happen ok everything will happen as it should and by tomorrow night you guys will be married."

"You think"

"I Know " Kevin said " now come on and get into bed will you"

"I don't want to sleep alone guys why couldn't I stay with James tonight"

"Hold on Caleb" Kevin took AJ into the hallway. Look AJ we are going to up all night with we don't do something Caleb isso stressed about tomorrow he won't sleep and he won't be any shape in the morning. Both he and Lance deserve a great day without anything to spoil it."

"Ok Kevin I agree so what do we do"

"Let Caleb sleep with us" Kevin cringed waiting for AJ to complain.

"Ok Kevin"

"OK"

"Well did you expect me to freak? I did sleep with him for two years its not repulsive t me and plus I am not jealous of Him and you anymore. So lets go tell him"

AJ and Kevin entered the bedroom only to find Caleb bent over searching in the overnight bag that Kevin had packed. Both and AJ and Kevin stood speech less with Caleb's ass in the air Framed nicely by the jock strap. I "I forgot how nice that was"

"what" I turned around to see them staring at my ass. "Fond memories AJ"

"Yep" he grinned Kevin slapped him and laughed " you are not supposed to agree with him

"Well it looks like you will be seeing a lot of this ass cause Kevin grabbed the wrong bag"

"What do you mean" Kevin said

I picked up the bag and dumped it contents onto the bed out spilling cosmetics and jewelry. " Kevin you took Lily's makeup bag"

"AJ was doubled over laughing at the situation Kevin looked embarrassed "But how, why are your bags the same."

"Because she bought me the bag when I was up in North Carolina"

"Oh"

"Oh, so well I guess I better get to bed"

"Um about that Caleb you want to spend the night with us have a slumber party"

"Really"

"Yeah Really" AJ said

"Cool Man, lets go" I walked out and down the hall to their bedroom as I walked past AJ he grabbed my ass. I got a shiver down my spine as he did

"I'm spoken for" I responded

I heard AJ yelp and "he is as well" Kevin laughed "I promise he will leave you alone."

"No problem" I continued into thee bedroom grabbing the blanket at the end of the bed and jumping onto the loveseat curling up with the blanket when Kevin and AJ had come into the room.

"So what do guys have planned for this slumber party" making air quotes when I said slumber party.

"Sleep" AJ said " Especially you. You need to get some sleep and sober up. You better not be hung over tomorrow or Lance will have our heads as well as yours."

"I'm not worried I will be fine, its hot in here guys can you turn down the heat I don't think I can sleep"

"I am not freezing my ass off cause you want the room cold " Kevin laughed

"Come on Kevin it will be ok"

"I can't believe that you want the room cold" "Well if we don't he will only get sick especially since he drank tonight"

"But I.."

"Please Kevin" I sighed tracing my right side with my fingers giving him a puppy dog look.

"You know that really shouldn't work, and its not fair either." Kevin stood there with his rams crossed staring at me AJ just smirked and started getting ready for bed.

"Whatever are you talking about I am not doing anything"

"You know exactly what your doing and as do I. you always play the I gave you a kidney card whenever you want anything"

"What" I looked shocked more so that I was caught then anything else.

"Busted" AJ laughed as he crawled into bed. I just shot him a look.

"Kevin had made his way over to the thermostat and lower it instantly the air conditioner kicked in. When he turned around I was staring at him " I didn't say it didn't work probably always will but I just wanted you to know that I know about it."

"Oh" it was all I could say I felt really bad about it I laid there in silence as Kevin got ready for bed I didn't realize that AJ was watching me till he spoke.

"you know He's no mad at you"

"I Know I feel bad"

"He didn't mean to hurt you"

" I know he didn't, just feeling guilty"

"You feeling guilty, I am sure he never wanted to make you guilty"

"You realize he is in the room and standing between the both of you" I looked to see Kevin standing at the foot of the bed between myself and AJ, with his arms crossed smiling.

"Sorry never meant to make you feel guilty. You know you don't have to sleep on the loveseat there is plenty of room in the bed. Just as long as you can keep your hands of my body ."

"I am sure that I will be able to do that I will even sleep on AJ side. " I said as I got up and let the blanket drop exposing my ass. I looked back over my shoulders and smiled you sure you wouldn't want this I said as clenched my cheeks. He tried to swat at me but I was too quick and landed in the bed next to AJ I moved AJ I front of me " protect me from your big brute of a boyfriend."

"Hey leave me out of this" he laughed as he did was shaking and bouncing slightly on top of me Not good just made me hard and with what I was wearing that wasn't going to be hide able. And I am sure AJ could feel it he sat up and quickly rolled off smiling at me. He pulled the blanket up over us. Thank you I mouthed. Kevin tuned around and picked up the blanket and threw it at me "Here is your blanket you can curl up with that one. I for one am not going to freeze as you hog all the blankets"

"Fine by me I wouldn't want to have to cuddle with you anyway James is much cuddlier"

"Yeah well he is softer" Kevin indicating patting his belly

"That's not what I meant" I turned over and curled the blanket in ball flashing my ass at him." And wait till I tell him he's going to kick your ass, little boy"

"I doubt that beside he would have to get through AJ"

"I warned you before about getting me in the middle of it. Now go to sleep you too before I kick both your ass"

Kevin and I just laughed . Kevin turned off the light and climbed into bed. I could feel his weight on the bed. I was getting tired. The alcohol was also nipping my senses. The room was getting cooler. I could feel my self slipping into a nice sleep.

Back at The house

"Lance Buddy you going to be ok" Britney asked while rubbing his arm. Lance was already laying in bed wide awake when Britney and Justin knocked and entered his room. They wanted to see if he was ok. He had become quiet on the way home and didn't say much when he had arrived as well. Just quickly taking himself up to his bedroom.

"I am sure that C is not that drunk" Justin piped up

"Yeah he will be ok and sober in the morning" Britney added

"Kevin and AJ will make sure of it"

Lance just smirked

"What's so funny?" Justin inquired

"He's not drunk I know Caleb far to well he was just playing with me to see how I would react for some strange reason he like the way I look when I get slightly miffed." Lance added

"Huh" Justin asked

"Its ok I didn't figure it out till we were in the car. He will be ok and he will be here in the morning I am not worried about it . I plan on getting a good sleep"

"Are you sure, you so calm no nerves" Britney asked

"Nope no nerves at all. I know that this is going to happen. So tell me how are you guys doing with this."

"With you guys getting married?" Justin questioned "We are fine with it why ask us that now"

"Not sure about it It's just that's with it being a reality tomorrow I thought maybe it would cause you guys some grief is all even though I am not with you guys anymore"

"Relax we are really happy for you and Caleb and that is that . You Know we would be just as happy for you if you were still with us. Hint Hint"

"Well Justin I get the hint but I am not sure about coming back. I haven't told Caleb about that either not sure if he knows either. I will tell him after the wedding"

"You better " Britney said

Lance yawned at this putting his hands over his mouth.

"I think we better let Lance here get some sleep. We see you in the morning guy" Britney kissed him goodnight and Justin slapped him on the shoulder " Talk to you tomorrow dude"

"Shhh"

"Kevin stop laughing your going to wake him up"

"Well your not being quiet with the camera either jumping all around each other."

"Be quiet how could I resist beside I think we have our wedding gift. Huh"

"besides you started this taking a picture of us this morning"

"Well I couldn't resist blackmail material who would have thought I would wake up to find Caleb cuddled in your arms."

"Well about a confused as I was he never did that before even if he was drunk."

"I thought it was nice" Kevin smirked

"It was just I would have preferred it was you" AJ turned and grabbed Kevin in embrace

"Oh no more feeling for that hot guy in bed"

"Kevin didn't think you cared so much" I said as I slowly opened my eyes shielding them with my hands the light was too bright I turned to place my face in the blankets wow what a spin.

"Ughh, head rush moved to fast bright light bright light. Oh just kill me now"

"If we did you would miss your own wedding"

"Wedding Oh my god , I got to get going" I jumped up which was the wrong thing a huge wave of nausea and dizziness hit me at once. I shot my hand over my mouth and tried to dash to the bathroom unfortunately my center of balance was off " hmpff" face plant on the carpet it was from this position that I thought Kevin and AJ's carpet needed some improvements. I felt someone hold my head as I vomited and then someone else throw towels under me and place a cold wash clothe on my forehead. Finally the nausea stopped well the vomiting stopped the nausea was still there. Kevin and AJ sat me up and leaned me against the bed.

"Shit Caleb your eyes" AJ exclaimed how are we going to hide that

"What I groaned"

"Well you eye are all puffy and red. I think you burst a lot of blood vessels around your face"

"Oh shit no not today. Help me up I have to see" They helped me to the bathroom where I looked in the mirror. "Oh shit James is going to kill me I look horrible"

"Relax Caleb we can cover it with makeup I am sure Lily must have something in here bag some concelor. You get in the shower and wash AJ you watch him make sure he doesn't make any more face plants I will search her bag and grab some Tylenol as well. Don't worry Caleb this will all work out." Kevin spoke as he grasped my shoulder. Aj helped me in the shower and stood in the bathroom watching me

"Hey aj I am ok for a few minute and sat done n eh little bench built into the shower letting the warm water wash over me. "

"You sure "

"Yeah sorry about the mess"

"Don't worry I am just going to grab the towels and se what I can clean up"

He wasn't gone very long when he returned with Kevin in tow. " Hey Caleb here take these" he opens the door and puts two pills in my hands and then a glass of ginger ale "take those now."

"Ok" I quickly swallowed them I was feeling better it is amazing how a shower makes you feel . "I feel better after the shower not amazingly better but better"

"Well dry off and then get over her and let AJ fix those marks over your eyes."

"Why Me?"

"Cause you have more experience with makeup then I do"

"You know I will let that comment pass. Come on Caleb hurry up we need to get you over to your house"

I got out of the shower and started to dry off slowly and had to sit down again. Wow better get my land legs quickly. I finished drying off and went out to the bedroom where AJ and Kevin were waiting.

"Here sit down Caleb" AJ pointed to a spot on the bed and he kneeled in front of me and started placing the concelor around my eyes taking his time and careful not to get anything in my eyes. Meanwhile Kevin was gathering some clothes for me .

"Here C take these as he through some boxer and some sweat pants and a t shirt at me." I took them and nodded my thanks meanwhile he finished getting dressed .

"There Done you can get dressed and lets get on the rode before everyone thinks we kidnapped you" AJ laughed.

I quickly got dressed and stood waiting for some approval "Well guys do I pass or what"

"Umm Alex good job with the makeup can't tell at all lets go and this man married then." With that said they pulled me form the bedroom and out to the car . I can't believe it I am going to get married wow this is it I suppose no turning back now not that I wanted to anyway.

Knock. Knock

"You about Ready"

"Yeah Come in" The door opened and in walked Melissa she was looking beautiful wearing a long cream satin dress. She had wore here hair up which really became her. I had been sitting in my tux for the last 20 minutes just staring at my bare feet. I had been thinking about everything, the past, today and the future. I think I might be getting cold feet, I never expected to be so nervous.

"You said that you were ready you don't even have your shoes on"

"I know it feels good to be in my bare feet."

"Yeah well we aren't having a hippy love in, so here let me help you." Melissa sat on the seat near the bed and began helping put my shoes on slowly. "Are you going to go through with this? You have second thought"

"No, not at all, just nervous taking a big step you know"

"I know exactly what you mean I was in your position a month ago, but someone wise and dear leant me their ear and eased any fears I had"

"So you're here to return the favor huh"

"Yeah, but I am not giving you a long winded speech just using the same logic you used on me"

I laughed "OK lay it on me"

"Do you love him"

I paused at what she said not because she asked a difficult question or because I was unsure just because she caught me off guard. "Of course I do"

"Well then you answered the question. Now you need to get ready and come and marry Lance"

"Where's Kevin"

"Oh he was just tidying up some things is all , he will be up here soon"

"I wonder what is going Through James mind at this moment"

"He is probably thinking the same things"

Down Stairs

"Ok Buddy its getting close are you ready" Josh asked

"Yeah is it time? Lets go"

"Eager aren't we huh" Justin laughed he was sitting on the desk holding Britney's waist

"Yeah I am"

"Your not nervous" Kevin spoke as he entered the room, everyone turned.

"What's up Kevin? everything ok with Caleb"

"Oh yeah he's with Melissa I just came to see how you were doing and give you something"

"You don't have to give me anything."

"Yeah I do, Josh and I worked it out, you know the tradition something old something new something borrowed something blue"

"What?"

"Yeah we were about to do that" Britney said. Well I have something blue. She reached into here hand bag and pulled out a small blue packet and handed it to Lance. He looked at it and laughed and then put it in his pocket"

"Is that what I think it is " Justin said laughing

"Yeah its blue and glows in the dark."

"Always playing safe their buddy" Chris slapped him on the back. I have something for you as well. Lets see something old" He pulled out a pocket watch and clipped it to the front of Lances tux and placed it in his pocket.

"Well for something new I might have something for you" Justin said and pulled a small rectangular packet from his tux coat. Lance took it and opened it. Inside he found a new pair of designer sunglasses with a purple tint.

"Thanks Justin I appreciate it"

"Glad you like I had got purple cause it would match your hair color, who would have known Caleb would have been able to convince you to change it to something normal"

"There was no convincing he told me that if I didn't he wouldn't marry me." Lance laughed he was getting a little emotional with his friend giving him gifts he wanted to get through today with out crying I doubt it was going to happen now though.

"Ok so Kevin what do you have for me"

"Well something borrowed"

"Of course" Lance laughed " OK give it to me"

"Kevin reached up and pulled his medallion from under the shirt and quickly unclasped it and placed it in his hands. Lance looked up at him his eyes were wet. He knew what Kevin was offering.

"Kevin no that's yours and Caleb's, I can't wear it"

"Yes you can Beside you are only borrowing It. I expect it back in the am, besides it is appropriate after all he has given you his heart" Kevin reached around and placed the medallion around Lance's neck.

"There all done, now you are ready to get married I better go get Caleb, you coming Josh"

"Yeah I will be there in a sec" Kevin left to head back upstairs.

"Ok Lance I will be back I am sure I am leaving you in good hands with the guys. Ok Justin Chris make sure he doesn't make a dash and get him to where he needs to be . I'll meet you at the isle"

"Will do captain" Justin saluted Josh

"Josh wait a sec"

"Yeah Lance what"

"Tell Caleb I love him and I will meet him at the alter, oh and this" Lance ran over and kissed Josh on the cheek

"Yeah I'll pass that along " Josh laughed as he rubbed his cheek. With that he left to go upstairs.

"So Lance let's get you to the alter my friend" Chris said slapping Lance on the back and pulling him down. The hall to outside.

Upstairs

In Caleb and Lance's bedroom Caleb was pacing Melissa Nick, Leighanne, Howie and AJ had been helping Caleb calming down. They were all waiting for Kevin to get there . He was the one that could get through to Caleb and calm him down.

"C calm down all the guest have arrived Brian and Joey are seating everyone, Lily has everything under control. This is going to go off without a hitch"

"But"

"Look No more butts Caleb just relax"

"Where is Kevin AJ" Nick asked

"Downstairs he wanted to see how Lance was doing" AJ laughed

"Why? is James having second thoughts. I knew this was too good to be true" AI was breathing heavy I think I'm going to pass out.

"Relax Caleb your going to pass out, here breathe into the bag" Lieghanne push a bag into my hands and helped me breathe in an out of the bag. Here I sit on my wedding day in my bedroom breathing in a paper bag. Nervous that my Fiancé had dashed out.

"Hey Man" Kevin opened the door to the bedroom followed closely by Josh. I just looked at them entering the room they both had this strange look on there face. This only drove up my anxiety even more

"Caleb are you OK " Kevin cam over and sat by me " Guys what's wrong with him"

"He's nervous, he is worried about Lance"

"Oh Lance is ok Caleb." Kevin said holding my hand

"Yeah, he's already to get married. Its freaky he is so calm its eerie"

"He's Ok " I puffed out as I removed the bag form my face

"Of course, your not having second thoughts are you"

"No not at all,"

"I better get ready if he is down stairs."

I got up My breathing was slowly returning to normal I still none the les felt a head rush when I got up out of the chair

"Oh head rush"

"I swear you are going to do your self mischief Lieghanne said juggling a excited bastion in here hands. " Oh Bastion be good for mommy"

"Let him down Leigh" Mel said

"No he will get his little tux all wrinkled"

"I don't care let my godson play, at least one of should be comfortable " I said laughing as I tickled his neck

"Fine then but don't whine if he looks all discombobulated"

"Ok , well I guess we should get down stairs"

"Well not yet we have some last minute things to do"

"Like what?"

"You know something borrowed something blue and all that jazz" Nick laughed

"Oh Nick you are the romantic" Mel shook her head

"That's why you married me" and then he kissed her on the cheek

"Well let's get this over with I want to get this show on the road"

"Well ok here it goes" Leighanne pulled a piece of material out of her purse something blue I surmised from the color. She handed it to me when she placed it in my hands I saw what it was.

"I am not wearing a garter people" I smirked

"Oh come on AJ laughed you are no fun"

"I told you he wouldn't go for it" Howie said

"Well we can fix it" Nick smirked. I saw them look at each other in the room. Next thing I knew Nick was hurling himself at me and knocked me back on the bed and was sitting on my chest I felt someone else grab my right leg and hold it tight. When I moved my head to the right I saw it was josh. " you traitor" I laughed "what are you doing"

"Relax Caleb" Nick said as I was squirming " Help me Howie I need a hand with him" Howie came to help keep my body down.

"Ok AJ hold his leg " Kevin said. I felt Kevin pulling something up my leg , not something but the garter " I can't believe you guys" I could feel Kevin taking his time coping one last feel. I think that AJ caught on as well.

"Kevin sweetheart place the garter and remove your hand before you lose it." I could see AJ grin at Kevin then he turned and winked at me. Next thing I knew I was being let up. I tried to reach at the garter but the guys stopped me " We will only tackle you again" Kevin warned.

"Fine"

"Ok moving on something new is from me and Mel" Nick said looking in his pocket he pulled out a long box " Open it " he was like a kid I opened it up and it contained a silver bracelet one of the rigid one at either end was a piece of turquoise stone. I quickly put it on "wow this is beautiful." I said

"Well we have one more thing to give you, well Josh does"

"Umm what do you have Josh"

"Well Kevin and I decided to do something unique, Kevin gave something to Lance I would give something to you"

"Really what did you give him Kev"

"You'll see " he smiled

"Ok Josh lay it on me"

"Well its not much but it should take care of the something old and borrowed all in one" he pulled off a ring from his finger. And placed it in my hand"

"hey that's your ring from the MMC."

"Yep so now you can get married"

knock. Knock

"Ok Caleb you ready, everyone is seated and ready to go, Please hurry you don't know how hard its been keeping this dog clean and dry" Lily said exasperated

"Ok hey Zeus come here boy" I kneeled down and petted him. I was very careful not to let him drool on me. We both wanted Bastion to be our ring bearer but he could only walk halfway down the isle without falling. We decide to have Zeus pull him down the isle in a little cart. It's a good thing Newf's are good at being used for draft work.

"Its ok lily, is everything else ok"

"Oh yes"

"How's Jake?" He's good Joey and Brian are watching him he is a little nervous about walking down the isle. I told him he was going to be ok"

"He was really excited to be part of wedding especially when James asked him. He spent a whole day walking around the house to get the right speed down. Then he watched how James walked so he would be able to walk just like his uncle Lance."

"So that's what he was doing all morning I asked why he was walking up and don the isle and he told me he was practicing" Lily laughed

"Oh well I think Brian was going to take him over to where Lance is waiting with Britney so If you guys are ready we will go have ourselves a wedding" Lily said taking up position next to Howie and taking his hand.

"Ok Caleb its time lets go" Kevin said

"Yeah OK" I took one last look around and made my way downstairs to the back yard. I really hadn't had a chance to see it al put together ,it was beautiful. There were two gazebos at the end of the isle since both James and I were going to walk don the isle. Jake would walk down James and Melissa was walking me down the isle. There was another larger gazebo set as the alter. And the small amount of guest were seated in white folding chairs. Plus the huge white tenting up just incase of rain. They worked well considering it was so hot. it kept everyone in the shade. OK so here I am in the gazebo with Melissa and Kevin and AJ in front. The one next over was James and Jake and Josh and Britney. Lieghanne placed Bastion in the cart with the pillow and Nick hooked up Zeus. Now just wait until the music started. I had one out on the music James wanted the guys but I wanted something different in the end I won out. I could hear the start of the music it was beginning. Zeus and Bastion made their way down the isle.

There is something that I see in the way you look at me There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes But an unexpected way on this unexpected day Could it be this is where I belong It is you I have loved all along.

(Kevin and AJ had begun walking don the isle)

No more mystery it is finally clear to me you're the home my heart searched for so long It is you I have loved all along

There were times I ran to hide afraid to show the other side Alone in the night without you But know I know just who you are And I know you hold my heart Finally this is where I belong It is you that I have loved all along.

(Josh and Britney begin to walk down the isle)

No more mystery it is finally clear to me you're the home my heart searched for so long It is you I have loved all along

(Melissa and I begin don the Isle)

Over and over I' am filled with emotion Your And I am filled with the sweetest devotion As I looked into your perfect face

(James and Jake start to walk don the Isle)

No more mystery it is finally clear to me you're the home my heart searched for so long It is you I have loved, it is you I have loved all along

Lances POV

Looking down at Jake I could see him staring straight ahead very focused on what he was doing. He didn't want to make any mistakes. Jake was a good kid I am glad that he will be living with us. I will enjoy watching him grow up. I looked down the Isle and stared into the eyes of the man that I loved. He was breathtaking. His blue eyes were glowing. He looked amazing in his tuxedo. Oh my god I am getting excited at my wedding I am such a horn dog. I can't wait to put the ring on his finger.

Caleb POV

I was extremely nervous my palms were sweating I couldn't take any more. I watched as Jake left James in his spot next to me and went and sat next to Melissa and Bastion who was Giggling at this point kicking his legs wanting Zeus to pull him around some more. I looked at James and he smiled at me His eyes were wet as he tried to hold back the tears . I imagine mine were the same. James looked truly amazing I can't believe I am checking him out. Something caught my eye something was shining in the sunlight. I couldn't believe it I looked at Kevin who was watching AJ and then looked at James he smiled and fingered the medallion. "Kevin let me borrow it. he said it was appropriate since you had given me your heart" he whispered

The Minister cleared his throat and both James and I turned toward him. " Family Friends we are gathered he to today to see the joining of two souls and the Celebrate the love Caleb and James have for each other. We stand here gathered under god as witnesses the love o these two men. Who here gives these tow men to each other"

"WE DO" Melissa and Jake shouted happily I noticed the smile on James Face as he looked at Mel and Jake smiling from their seats.

"Thank you for your energetic response" the minister laughed

"Both grooms decided that they wanted something short and sweet. I believe that is how Caleb phrased it to me." So let me get straight to the point then shall I. I believe that Caleb and James have decided to use traditional vows."

"Caleb repeat after me"

"I Caleb Jacob Frost, take you James Lance Bass to be my husband"

"I Caleb Jacob Frost, take you James Lance Bass to be my husband"

"For richer, for poorer"

"For richer, for poorer"

"In sickness and in health"

"In sickness and in health"

"Till death due us part"

"Ok May have the ring" Kevin reached down and took the pillow from Bastion and handed it to the Minister. The minister took the pillow and removed James ring and handed it to me. They were slightly different rings. Both were platinum bands mine had a series of small emeralds and James contained a series of small sapphires. I took the ring in my right hand and reached out bad took James hand with my left. I could feel him shaking he was so nervous. I looked up into his eyes. I could see his eyes watering the tears falling freely. I felt the words get caught in my throat

"With this ring I give you my heart and soul for eternity" I sobbed out in between breaths I could feel Kevin and AJ rubbing my back as I waited at the Minister turned to James. Josh was standing behind James with his hand on James' shoulder.

"Ok James repeat after me"

"I James Lance Bass, take you Caleb Jacob Frost to be my husband"

"I James Lance Bass, take you Caleb Jacob Frost to be my husband"

"For richer, for poorer"

"For richer, for poorer"

"In sickness and in health"

"In sickness and in health"

"Till death due us part"

"Till death due us part"

The Minister took the other ring and gave it to James. James reached out and Took my Hand in both of his and smiled sweetly

"Before I do this I would like to say something"

'Oh god oh my God' he is going to change his mind. I looked at James he was staring at me smiling he took one of his hands and placed it on my cheek. "Relax I didn't change my mind" he laughed. I could here everyone else take a collective breath as well. " I just wanted to tell you how I feel with everyone here. All of our friends and family. Caleb when I look into your eyes I see joy, wonder, and limitless love for everyone you know. From the first time I met you and stared into your eyes I was enraptured the way to put me at ease. I love how you open yourself up to those closet and bear your soul . I love the way you sleep curled in my arms. I love so many things about you, most of all I love the fact that you love me. After everything we have been through , It has been you that has kept our love alive. This makes me the luckiest man alive." James paused and smiled at me he then took the ring and began to place it on my finger.

"With this Ring I give you my heart and soul for eternity"

My hands were sweaty and shaking as James placed the ring on my finger. I was so happy, not happy ecstatic is more the word. We finally had done it I never thought this day would happen. I heard the minister speak " Ladies and Gentlemen Meet Caleb and James Frost," he turned to us "You may kiss the groom"

This seems so weird I mean James and I have kissed each other many times before god we could have been world champs for the amount of making out we did. But this was different this was our first kiss as husbands. James leaned forward and placed one hand on the small of my back and the other on the nape of my neck. The kiss was soft and gentle, James was definitely holding back, I could tell. He pulled away and pulled me into a hug. And whispered into my ear " wait until tonight Mr. Frost" and then pulled back. I could hear the applause from our Family and Friends. I noticed Marc over to the side with all of our paperwork.

As we gathered around the small table with Marc present we signed all the necessary paperwork. Making it as official as we could. As we did this I could hear the music playing in the background.

May it be an evening star Shines down upon you May it be when darkness falls Your heart will be true You walk a lonely road Oh how are you are from home

Mornie utulie Believe and you will find your way Mornie alantie A promise lives within you now

May it be shadows call Will fly away May it be your journey on To light the day When the night is overcome you may rise to find the sun

Mornie utulie Believe and you will fid your way Mornie alantie A promise lives within you now A promise lives within you now.

We got up and then made our way down the isle passing all of our friends and family clapping and applauding as we made our way through everyone. I was holding James hand tightly. "I can't believe it I can't believe it"

"Believe it Sweetie you are not getting rid of me now"

"Never wanted to I spoke as I leaned into is ear"

We had made are way t the back to the pool area of the yard. I could see Lily pointing and directing us she was looking nervous "Caleb James over here please for pictures"

"She always like that"

"Well whenever she does a wedding she is like that, but believe it or not she is calmer then most times I think that would be Howie's influence"

"You think"

"Ya look" I pointed to Howie off to the side watching and smiling Every so often lily would turn and smile at him

"I see" James laughed

"Come on you two Queens get going and stop Gossiping" Josh laughing I could here Kevin snicker behind him We turned around and both stuck out our tongues simultaneously at then the walked over to where lily was pointing.

"Oh my God they are even doing thing together and they just got hitched this is scary guys" Josh laughed The rest of the party joined us at the designated picture spot. I felt like I was at Disney world with those little picture area signs they have all over.

"Ok Everyone lets get a few with Caleb and Lance, then we will start with the wedding party" Jon shouted to everyone. Not only did we have the wedding party but all the guest were still around. We were going to have a small buffet/picnic for guest until we head later to Howie's for the reception. Everything was moving along well even with the guest and plus Lily had managed to get Jon both James and I really liked his work and we worked well with each other it was so great lily got him to agree to take pictures for us . James and I had been standing in poses as Jon shot pictures of us enjoying every movement.

"Ok lets have the best men next, First Caleb and Kevin then Lance and Josh then the hole group of Come on."

Lance's POV

I watched Kevin and Caleb ham it up for the camera. I was lost in thought watching the foolishness before me Caleb and Kevin were like too little boys always poised to be up to some mischief. Imagine what they would be like if they had been together as kids. I never noticed him standing next to me till he spoke.

"He is quite charming I can see what you see in him"

"Yeah I love him.." I turned to se Logan standing there looking at me.

"Oh hey Logan" a little surprised he was here after everything.

"I know you are surprised you did invite me, and Joey kind of pressed me to come

I looked at him and pulled him into a hug he was a little pensive at first but relaxed a bit. "I am glad you came sorry but I was just surprised. Why was Joey pressing you?"

"Well he scuffed his feet I guess I agreed to be his date"

"Date really!" I was surprised at this but not mad surprised just Joey never said anything.

"yeah I guess although we haven't call it that We have been keeping touch and hanging out since Nick's wedding I think he felt for me we both being in similar situation.

I smiled sadly " I know Jimmy don't worry about it what happens, happens but I really can't hate you or Caleb over this I told you this before I just wanted to say hello and congratulate you and Caleb"

"Thank you I appreciate it and I hope your date goes well" I just smiled

"I think someone wants you" Logan spoke pointing towards the camera I looked and saw Caleb wave at me as Jon was setting up for the last shot" Caleb pay attention your husband isn't going anywhere" Caleb blushed and turned around. Kevin just laughed at him

I stood watching ah few more minutes when Jon announced he wanted Josh and myself.

"Ok Lance stand next to Josh and watch the camera, smile" this was all too familiar Josh and I were really use to this it wouldn't take that long.

"Ok Guys liven up play around It as then That Josh jumped on my back . "Umpf"

"Silence you I am not fat"

"Ok But Your not carrying you" I laughed

Caleb's POV

"Hey Logan"

Logan turned around and stared at me " Yes Caleb, Congratulations"

"Thanks, Just wanted to thank you for coming"

"Hey Caleb"

"One second Kevin, Thank you and thank you for taking care of James while I was gone. Oh I hope You have a good time with Joey"

"Huh"

"Relax Joey and I Talk plus I see the way he is looking at us now"

"You are quiet smart are you not"

"Yes I am" I pointed to my head and then turned heading back to the picture taking. We spent another 45 minutes taking all sorts of pictures. I was getting hungry and what I could tell so where the kids an Zeus, all seemed to get fussy and fidgety when they were tired and hungry. " OK Jon we have to be done soon"

"Actually I took the last picture. I will get a few at the reception but know I think it's time for you too to cut some cake"

"Alright lets go I am starved" I pulled James with me and we stood before a beautiful 4 tired wedding cake. It was a shame to cut such a beautiful cake. But I picked up the knife with my ring hand and James laid his ring hand against mine. Of course Jon wanted a picture.

"Ok Ladies and Gentlemen Lane and Caleb are going to cut the cake. Oh and Caleb make sure you get some up his nose ok buddy."

"Ok Chris will do" I laughed

"You better not" James laughed " and you Chris stop giving him ideas" we cut the cake and I stood there smiling holding in front of James he had his piece as well. I Just held mine loosely and gently let him take a bite without pushing it in I could hear Chris and a few others moan about it. James just held his Cake in front of me getting ready to feed me I did detect a slight smile I knew he was up to something so as he put it up to my mouth I took my hand and smashed it into his face and nose. He turned around and wiped at his nose. Then taking what was left and smearing it on my face. We were both laughing as well and all the guests. I think Chris and Nick were the loudest .

"I don't think that was very funny " James laughed trying to give me a hard look. "Oh and trying to smash into my face was ok I suppose" I grinned " You are just upset that I managed to get you instead of the other way"

"Well yes"

We continued with our small buffet everyone gathered around walking about chatting and laughing James and I making out way around thanking everyone . Announcing that we would be leaving for The club shortly for the reception. The next of the night should be interesting if

It is you, performed by Dana Glover shrek soundtrack Copyright 2001

May it be performed by Enya, Lord of the rings soundtrack. copyright2001 EMI music

Next: Chapter 20


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