If Only I Could 15 Ok first off let me get this out of the way I don't know the BSB, NSync and Britney spears this story is complete FICTION. Hey imagin that twice in one week record for me well jsut wanted to end of on a more complete note. in the process of moving so may be a couple of weeks before i post again. Now just want to give a shout out to those people who have emailed me with ther comments I really do appreciate them. Keep up the comments.
It seemed like a dream to be back with everyone and be there watching as the rehearsal . Merely a formality I supposed everyone was stilling buzzing on a natural high after everything and my miraculous returned form the dead. Brian and Leighanne were so distracted the entire time merely soaking up every second with bastion in hopes of erasing the past. It was later that night when they realized that they didn't have any baby supplies. I invited them to send the night at the cottage that had been my home the last few months. I had supplies and a spare room. Brain was still reluctant to come and seemed very guilty about something , maybe that was the wrong feeling he couldn't be felling guilty about things. I spent the rehearsal just sitting with James holding hands . I sensed the guy he had come with watching us, but Justin and Josh seemed to be hanging with him. I know James was involved with him at some point and in some type of relationship but I never got the nerve to ask , a little cowardly but they say ignorance is bliss. I was surprised when James asked to come with me. He had taken off just before we left and went over to talk to this guy I learned his name was Logan From Kevin when he came back there was some sadness and regret on his face and Logan mirrored the same look.
I just finished setting up Bastion's room with an old air mattress. Brain and Leigh didn't want to be away from him. I could understand that James had went into use the bathroom and I was picking up some stuff around my bedroom, and taking this suit off. I was off in my little world when I felt it, Even after everything I felt it. I smiled to myself. Standing with my back to the door shirtless I stooped and spoke
"What's wrong, your being very quiet?"
"You knew I was here.?"
"I always know when you walk into a room, its just a feeling I get" I turned around and saw him standing there he seemed very timid in the doorway and cast his eyes downward. I could see a few tears down his cheek. God is this what we will be reduced to crying every tie we see each other. I tried to lighten the mood.
"You know James you have seen me with less then this on, no need to be bashful now"
"I know its just do you realize how beautiful you are"
I started to blush and he just chuckled to himself "I thought not" he made his way into the room and sat down on the bed .
"Is this ok" he asked
I sat down next to him, " Yes James what's wrong. I mean I know this whole coming back from the dead thing is freaky but something is bothering you. It has to do with Logan correct"
"Yeah, about Logan I need to tell you something"
"Your in love with him" I sounded defeated I felt defeated was this the end I missed my chance were James and I truly not meant to be together .
"Caleb I'm in love with you have been and always will be"
"I sense a but"
"Caleb, Logan and I were in a relationship, I'm sorry I shouldn't have started it . I was so lonely and sad all the time. Made some drastic changes."
"I know smiling touching one of his eyebrow rings"
He sheepishly grinned "well I was doing a lot of stupid things and Logan just showed u and started to watch out for me. We got to know each other and well we started to date I guess you can call it. He pulled me back from the edge and I will never forget that. I just feel like I was unfaithful to you that I cheated on you"
"I placed my fingers to his lips " James listen you never cheated . I am glad that this Logan was there for you and kept you safe for me. I'm sorry for what I put you through ."
"Caleb stop you can't be sorry for that you had no control and when you did realize it you came to me, to us right away."
"You can't be sorry about falling for someone else either James, when I was `dead' now can you" he smiled
"we make quite the pair now don't we"
"Yeah, but I love what we have when we are together"
"So do I. I love you with all my heart James" I turned and pulled open my dresser table and pulled out the ring I had. I had taken it off after the accident not sure what it meant and scared pole would ask too many questions with a man wearing such an expansive ring.
"I will wear this again if you want me too." I asked hopefully
James took the ring and looked at it he smiled and placed it on my fingers. " Caleb will you Marry me and spend the rest of your life with me and make me a happy man"
"Yes James" I gently kissed him on the lips and sat back to see the smile on his lips
"I have one condition James"
"What, what is it?" James looked a little panicked. " It's just that hair color has to go. I will not be married to a purple haired freak"
"Freak?"
"Well you are my freak. I do like this other side of you this wilder side"
"You do, do you?" James had moved closer breathing on my neck slowly beginning to run his lips gently around my neck in a series of small kisses. It ticked especially his lip ring . I moaned softy and pulled James closer to me an d felt his body meld into mine slowly running my hands through his short hair. James moved his hand to my head and neck then slowly moved his lips to mine and began to kiss me very softly then becoming more forceful until he eventually slipped his tongue into my mouth. Another surprise his tongue was pierced just what exactly did he have pierced. This could be interesting to discover I fell back unto the bed with James on top and slowly began pulling at his shirt until I had pulled it about his head and off . James sat straddling my chest and I was amazed he looked so beautiful, better then ever in my mind . Better then any memory because he was here. He had his nipples pierced and I saw some of his multiple tattoos he had gotten which were a stark contract from his pale skin tones. I just smiled at him.
"I like James very nice very nice indeed. Tell me what else is pierced as I gently tugged on his nipples. He just wagged his eyebrows it had that mischievous grin. I was joking but he seemed serious my jaw dropped in total disbelief. "You didn't"
"Only one way to find out" he spoke while nibbling my ear. This definitely had my attention. I was eager to find out. I began to fumble with his pants. Dam buttons my fingers just weren't working. I could feel James give a chuckle. He stood up and kicked off his shoes leaving him barefoot and shirtless. He was staring at me with a cheesy grin on his face. "So having problem are we" let me help . He slowly pulled down his pants as he pulled them don he gyrated his hips very suggestively I watched in awe and he released his manhood from the confines of his tight pants he let them slide over his thighs and fall to the floor. . There he stood in all his glory. He definitely had been wrking out more, his body was evry hard and well defined. Oh my he had done it, I can believe it. My mouth was open and I was sure I was drooling. I have never wanted someone more. It felt like an eternity since we had been together.
"I take it you like"
"Yes very much so"
"Well I would like to see you as well. Lets go." James took hold of my hands and pulled me up and off the bed until I was standing before him. I softy ran my fingers over his tight muscles as he detached the button of my pants and let them fall to he floor. He then loped his fingers in my briefs and pulled then down only to let then fall as well to the floor. I quickly stepped out of my clothes and moved closer to James rubbing our bodies together as he began to kiss me passionately I could feel his penis become hard and engorged as he ground against my thigh. It seems like forever that's we stood there and kissed. Never taking it further just in each other embrace kissing. The next thing I knew James had swept me up in his arms and carried me back to he bed. He softly laid me upon the bed and moved on top of me. He leaned on his arms and stared down at me. I smiled at him and ran my hand gently against his cheek. He turned his head to kiss my fingers then returned to gaze at me
"You make me whole, do you know that ?"
"yes I feel the same way James, please make love to me"
"Are you sure"
"Yes"
I reached over to the bedside table and pulled out some lube and a condom. Thanks to lily she gave them to me in hopes I would find someone to sue them with. Who would have thought. I opened the packet and began to slowly roll it on to James' hard cock. He just closed his eyes and moaned. I slowly massaged some lube onto him then laid back. It had been a while since we had enjoyed each other. James slowly entered watching my reaction and I his. Once he was completely in he leaned forward to kiss me and slowly began to grind against me. It was an amazing feeling being so close to him to feel him inside me. Soon the tenderness was over and lust took over. He began pumping faster and faster. I was in exactsy. He was massage my prostate with each stroke. I wasn't going to be able to hold out long. I could feel it coming.
"OH GOD!" I screamed as I came panting out of breath. James Followed my lead an came right then
"FUCK CALEB!" oh exhausted he laid down on top of me , panting and sweating. He lifted his head from my chest and looked unto my eyes before kissing me. In between Kisses he spoke.
"I Kiss love Kiss you Kiss Caleb Kiss, now Kiss and Kiss forever"
"I love you Too James. I don't want to wait to marry you, I want it as soon as possible"
"Are you sure? I thought you wanted something big"
"No, I want to do it I don't care how small it is we can elope. This experience has shown me that I don't want to wait please lets do it lets plan on three weeks"
"That soon?"
"Are you backing out?"
"Nope, just making sure" he grinned.
I got up and grabbed a wash clothe to James and grabbed some boxers for me and quickly got into bed spooning with James.
"I like this"
"So do I"
We laid in silence listening to each others breathing until we fell asleep.
It felt good to wake up in someone arms again it felt dam good. I was so lucky things finally seemd straight in my head. I laid there with my eyes closed. Feeling James' chest rise and fall. I think he was awake watching me. No doubt. I can play this game then and pretend to be asleep. But our little piece of paradise was to be interrupted . By someone knocking at the door.
"Come in" I knew he was awake
"Shh, he's still sleeping"
"No I'm not" I lifted my head up and stretched yawning as well. I looked to see Brian at the door with Bastion in his arms. "Hey Brian hey Bastion, how's my little buddy"
"he's ok we just need to find out where his formula is?"
"No problem third cupboard from the fridge. Did you sleep well ?"
"yeah we sleep great actually" he grinned I'm not surprised."
Well be down in a minute to start the day"
"Ok , Um Caleb thanks"
"Hey no problem you guys deserved to stay here anyway."
"Not that Thanks for this ." Brian motioned pulling bastion up into his arms. The baby was playing with his hair saying dada.
" I told you I would take care of him."
"I now you did, well better get down and feed him see you in a little bit"
With that Brain left I was till getting a weird feeling from Brian but I couldn't place it why was he giving off this guilty feeling. I decided to ask James
"James, "
"Yes C what's up" he was sitting up in bed with the blankets barely covering his waist. I was a little distracted"
"Umm You do look good"
"Is that all you had to tell me"
"Well no, I want to ask you something?"
"Ok go ahead"
"Its about Brian I get this feeling from him like he's guilty for doing something what is that all about?"
"Oh" James looked cautiously " well " he began "I think that's its is something that you really need to talk to him about"
"Then I'm right"
"Yeah , but its better if you talk to him about it "
"Please James tell me" James looked at me debating over in his mind what he should do.
"Caleb after what happened he was upset I mean understandable well he blamed you for losing his son He thought you failed him and broke your promise to him"
"Oh my, and know here I am all showing up and fulfilling my promise
"yeah its just he has to work it through, but let him say it to you ok , "
"Ok I promise"
"Good know I think we should get up and start getting dressed. Big day today"
"Yeah I know"
"So do you have a tux,"
"Yeah Lily made me get one for the wedding she was going to drag me along as her date"
"hm, should I be jealous"
I laughed "What do you think"
"I don't think I do" Good boy lets go get washed up race you to the shower. With that I was up and running pulling the sheets with me.
"Why you little" James was up and following chasing me into the shower. It was and uneventful shower it could have been better but I kept putting it of I wanted to get ready to help Mel out I felt bad not helping here all these months. I needed to be there today. Quickly we got dressed I took my tux downstairs with me since James didn't bring his suit with him we would just get ready there. When I came into eh kitchen it was quite a site Brian was trying to feed the baby while Leighanne was getting ready. She needed to leave soon, you know that hole professional look hair and makeup this morning. Brian however seemed to have more on him then in Sebastion's mouth. That usually means one thing he's not hungry.
"Hey guys hey boo" I said ruffling Bastion's hair he just cooed and smiled getting excited. "Come on Sebastion eat for daddy" Brain sounded frustrated
"Um Brian when he gets like that means he is usually not hungry or full, You can just bring some snacks for him with you eat will eat a little bit all day."
"Thanks Caleb" he didn't seems to happy for my suggestion
"Not trying to but in just noticed that about him over the last little while. In a few days you will nknwo all that little stuff, I see he just enjoys talking today"
"Yeah, keeps saying Dada"
"You know that's the first time he talked was yesterday"
"Really"
"Yeah"
"Wow that's so cool, now I can tease mommy that your first words were dada" Brian sang happily to the baby
"Hello" came a voice from the hallway
"Morning Lily"
"Morning JJ, I mean Caleb"
"Its ok Lily"
"Oh Hello, why didn't you tell me you had guest I look terrible" she was flirting and pinching my arm
"Last minute thing, but they were extremely welcomed guests" I winked at James, he had the good sense to blush Lily caught this
"You old dog you?" She playfully slapped my arm
"Stop It I wagged my hand under her nose"
"Oh like the ring" Brian just looked up and smiled , Leigh was coming in the room. " Morning what ring?"
"My, so when is the big day?" Leigh smiled
"Three weeks James answered"
Brian sputtered "Three weeks" Lily choked on the coffee and Leighanne just stood there flabbergasted.
"Yes three weeks after everything that has gone on I don't want to wait any longer for something to go wrong."
"We will get married in the back yard and have the reception at the house. Something small, I would like my Godson to be the ring bearer since he is walking by then."
"Wow sure. I'm sure he would like that wouldn't you Boo"
"I would like you to be one of my groomsmen as well"
"Wow"
"I am planning this for you so don't worry, my wedding gift to you"
"You don't have to do that Lily" James said as he came over to me and put his arms around me hugging tight.
"I want to and I won't take no for an answer."
"She's won't I know her"
"Stop it and don't tell lies"
"Who's lying" I grinned
"Careful you!" she threatened
"Or what , I have my big menacing boyfriend to protect me"
"Leave me out of this she looks frightening"
"Fine be that way" I grinned at James
"We better head out"
"Cool idea, I want to help out if I can"
"Ever the proud Papa"
"knock it off" I said to Leighanne
"Brian you're a mess go wash up and grab your suit. Come her my precious baby boy"
I smiled it was so nice to be back with everyone to see Leighanne and Brian fussing over their baby. Me having James with his arm around me. Wearing his ring this is great. This is what life is about. And I get to see Mel marry the man of here dreams.
Later at the reception
The wedding was beautiful. Lilly out I did herself this was so perfect Mel loved gorgeous and Both Nick and her looked so happy with each other. The reception was going great here I am Dancing with mel in her beautiful gown while Nick dances with his mother.
"Did I tell you that you look so radiant"
"Yes you did but it bares repeating"
"Ah , takes after my own heart"
"I am so glad you were hear today. I dreaede it your absence"
"I'm so sorry sweetie about all this"
`Shh" she placed here finger to my lips" "You were not responsible, I'm just gald your ok and back where you belong"
"I feel like this is where I belong as well"
"Good, so next month I get to dance with you at your wedding"
"Yeah I do, you want to give me away as well" I laughed
"I would never give you away but I'll share you with Lance"
"That's so generous of you"
"The ceremony was beautiful. I was nervous walking you down the isle"
"You didn't seem it"
"Well it was had to with the guest speechless and fainting"
"I can't believe that they never got the word around , my God some of the guess were terrified thought they were seeing a dead man walking down the isle"
"It was kind of funny know that you think of it"
"I expect lots of grandkids from you and Nicky" is aid pointing to Nick and his mother waltzing. "You think that she' having the same conversation with him?"
"Probably you know, maybe slight variation"
"So are you and Lance gonna give me little Brothers and Sisters"
"Did I fail in explaining the birds and bees to you little girl . Poor Nicky what will he think tonight, beside my ovaries are long gone"
She laughed, she was so beautiful when she laughed "You can adopt you know, I do now the birds and bees and Nick hasn't complained yet"
"TMI"
"You are such a goof at times but I love you so much I know I don't need to but I have to tell you something"
"What? You can tell me anything"
"I know that. I just want to thnak you for everything"
"For what?"
"For this, my life"
"I didn't" she stopped me with her eyes. There wer so vocal at times she was so good at communicating a thought with just here eyes. I stopped to listen to her.
"I can not express how much I love you or to thank you for everything that you've down for me. You cared for me when I was younger, always there to play with me and protect me from the nightmares. You were there when mom and dad died, no thought to yourself you just gave it up and took care of me. Not many young guys would do that . You never regretted it , you never took it out on me how I ruined your life and you never asked for anything or got anything in return."
"Oh that's where your wrong. I got you, you made my life complete you gave me purpose and made me so proud. I know your parents are watching you know and are so proud. You loved me and accepted me for who I was and you loved me unconditionally. You gave me that sense of family that I always thought was missing"
"You are very easy to love you where your heart on your sleeve. Lance is one lucky Guy. I am lucky as well to have known you. I just wanted to know that you mean so much to me and I am so happy that you are here with me today and back with us." she had started to cry. I knew it was coming she did a good job at holding it in all day. I was crying as well me the big old softy . The song at come to an end and it was time for the bridal party to dance. I was standing there looking a Mel and saw Nick approach and stand waiting to dance with his new bride. I let her go and pulled him in a hug.
"I love you so much , you take care of here hear me?"
"Oh I will don't worry"
"I know you well I just needed to say it " I kissed him on the cheek and put Mel's hand in his. And turned to find James. That's when Kevin grabbed my hand.
"Don't worry I got permission from your Fiance . He said it was ok'
"So nice to know that my Fiance is willing to ship me off whenever he need to , just a commady"
"Just Dance with me"
"Ok"
"I am so glad you're here with us it makes me so happy to see you here, to hold you in my arms"
"Why Kevin are you flirting with me"
"Be serious"
"I know Kevin , I like this as well"
"Lance is telling everyone about you guys getting married in a month I haven't seen him this happy in a long time"
" I am glad. I and so sorry for what he went through I wish I could just go back and make it go a way"
"That's because you love him. You would take on his pain and yours just to make him happy"
"yeah I would"
"You are so sappy, you now that"
"Well aren't you all flirtatious with me Mr. Richardson"
"Is that what you want"
"I one point yes, But you Now had that done it got the T-shirt" I smiled at stuck my tongue out
"You little. I don't remember you complaining at the time"
"Oh I never said I was complaining we had one night of perfection, would not want to mar that with anything else. Beside my heart truly belongs with James and you with Zander"
"I know just like to tease you. I have something for you as well"
"Oh a gift already "
"Yes " Kevin stood still and reached into his pocket and pulled out my medallion. And placed it around my neck.
"Oh Kevin my medallion how did you"
"They found it after the crash and Lance gave it to me, it belongs with you."
"Oh Kevin thank you I thought I lost it forever" I was crying again god I was sappy today.
"Kevin will you be my best man"
"Of course Caleb"
"Thanks Kevin" We stood together swaying to the music just enjoying each others company enjoying the evening. Things were definitely looking better.