If Not Now...

"if not now..."

by

Ritch Christopher

(Copyrighted October 2001 by the author)

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. This is a work of gay fiction. It contains graphic sex and explicit language. If you are offended by such, underage, or live in a city or territory where literature of this nature is illegal or unlawful, please exit now.

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CHAPTER FIVE

(conclusion)

The stage was set like the beginning of a horse race, with all the jockeys maneuvering their steeds before entering the starting gate, which is to say, all the players in this drama were cocked and ready to make their move. Bret and Ryder were all set to head for Atlanta, Marge was waiting with bated breath to hear from Rhonda about going to Chattanooga, and Randy and Jerry were primed to reveal the greatest scandal ever told in Lumpkin and ruin some of the others' plans, although they weren't aware of it.

Jerry and Randy thought better about approaching old man Teasdale with the story they had learned from Nate. If Aaron was actually Grand Master of the Klan, as everyone assumed, then his retaliation against the two young blackmailers might be more than they bargained for. That left only Bret. Now Bret didn't appear to have any money, so if was futile to blackmail him, although Bret was the obvious choice. The best thing they could do with their scandalous knowledge would be to use it to stir up a heap of trouble...just for meanness...and stand back and laugh like hell as they watched the chips fall where they may. Hell, they didn't know how to blackmail anybody. It was just the idea of it that excited them. Neither of them knew just how to explode the bomb. The item they were hiding was not the kind of tidbit that could be printed in the Stewart-Webster Journal, nor was it the kind of thing they could call the radio station with to dedicate a song to Nate from Bret. No one would understand that. The best plan was to drop anonymous hints to Aaron and Bret and let them get into another fight and reveal the whole kit and caboodle in front of the whole town. Jerry and Randy might be the town dummies but they were smart enough to know that everyone would turn out for the Sunday river baptism, but they couldn't figure out how to manifest Bret and Aaron's confrontation. It was sure to be a big blowout if they could pull it off. The two boys laughed out loud just thinking about it...what would really be the capper would be to have Nate there, too. Godamighty! What a sideshow! Too bad they couldn't charge admission. They were almost sorry they couldn't reveal it was their plan so that they could take the credit for the biggest showdown in the whole history of Webster County. They were supposed to meet up with Nate by the river. They would think of some way of conning him into attending Chad's service. They shouted with glee just thinking about it.

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Marge kept busy straightening her room as she awaited Rhonda's call. She was in the process of waving her sheet in the air to let it fall in place on her bed when she suddenly bent over with pain. It was more like a sharp cramp in area of her bladder and then blood began to spew from her vagina. It was almost three weeks late, but her period was starting. She wasn't pregnant, after all. This put everything in a different perspective. The only people she had told about her supposed pregnancy were Ryder and Rhonda. Ryder would be relieved, of course, but Marge wondered if Rhonda's offer to leave town would still be open. After all, the pregnancy excuse is what had given her the courage to leave Lumpkin...now she didn't have to leave. Now Ryder wouldn't have to marry her. She was enjoying her cramps for the first time since she began menstruating, five years ago. She had the urge to call Ryder and tell him the news as soon as possible, but she didn't want to tie up the phone in case Rhonda called. She thought it was best to wait on Rhonda first, to see if they were still going to Chattanooga, and THEN call Ryder in that order.

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Bret and Ryder had conjured up a plan with Mae to call Aaron and see if he would come over to her house to cut her some sticks with his power saw, to stake her pole beans. If Aaron agreed, this would give Ryder enough time to go home and pack his duds, then he would go to work late and put in his hours so he could be paid. Bret said he would meet him later downtown.

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Besides being the two meanest boys in three counties, there was something about Jerry and Randy that Nate couldn't trust. After the two had left him on the river bank, Nate tried to remember what he'd said to them and wondered if he'd said something they could use to hurt Bret. Nate and Bret hadn't just had sex on a whim, they were good friends, but, in Lumpkin, white boys and colored boys weren't supposed to make friends. It was an unwritten law of the south and everyone knew that if the law were broken, then "Katie bar the door" for the offenders. Nate decided, even though it was risky, he'd better high-tail it into town and warn Bret, just in case Randy and Jerry were up to no good.

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Around 1:30 PM, Rhonda phoned Marge with the news that they both would be welcomed at her relatives in Tennessee. Marge reluctantly told Rhonda about starting her period and that the urgency to leave town was no longer in play. This annoyed Rhonda because it messed up her plans about leaving with Marge accompanying her. She began to present her argument.

"Now, Marge, that's even better, now that you know you're not carrying Ryder's child. You can leave without worrying about the responsibilities you were going to have becoming a mother. We've all but made our plans, so I beg you not to go backing out on them now. We can still go. I have the money for the bus tickets and my aunt told me that Woolworths on Market Street was hiring waitresses for their snack bar. She said if we both couldn't get jobs there we could still try at McClellans or Grant's or Kress'. They've got a big Sears-Roebucks in Chattanooga, too. She said she knew we both could find work and if we stay with her for a short while...why, it won't be long before we can afford a place of our own. I was up there visitin' one time and, Marge, let me tell you, those Chattanooga boys are so dreamy. They have manners and everything...Why, most of 'em have their own cars...and then, there's Missionary Ridge, Lookout Mountain...Hey! That's where Rock City is...and Ruby Falls. Wouldn't you just like to have some boy take you on a picnic at Ruby Falls and take a whole roll of pictures and send 'em back home to your mother?"

"My gosh, Rhoda, you make it all sound so wonderful!"

"It is, honey, believe me! You just GOTTA go and that's all there is to it."

"Rhonda, you know Momma and Daddy are gonna be real mad at me if I go."

"I know, but Marge, if you don't leave Lumpkin NOW, while you have the chance, you know you'll be here the rest of your life. Oh, did I tell you that Chattanooga is the home of the first Coca-Cola. They give tours there and when you're finished seeing the plant, they actually give you a free Coca-Cola. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Well, do you think I should talk it over with my folks first or just pack two suitcases and leave when they go out?"

"Honey, if it was me...I'd just leave them a note and fly as fast as I could to the bus station. I'll have your ticket all bought and waitin' for you there."

"You know I want to..."

"Then, DO IT!"

"OK, I will...Do you know what time the bus leaves?"

"I think there's one around five o'clock this afternoon."

"Gosh, I don't know if I can be ready by then."

"Take what you can and we'll buy whatever you need once we get our jobs. I don't know if Woolworths supplies waitresses' uniforms or if we have to buy them. You know, if we're not working the same shifts, we can get by wearing the same uniform...only at different times. I want the kind that has the pocket over the breast and you can fold a handkerchief out and wear it like a calla lily."

"I saw Debbie Reynolds wearin' one like that in that movie we saw."

"I know. That's where I got the idea....OH! MARGE! I'm just so excited!!"

"Me, too,"

"Well, hang up and hurry up and pack. I'll meet you at the Greyhound no later than four-thirty. Can you find a way to get there?"

"I think so. I have to call Ryder and tell him about the baby. He'll be so relieved he might even drive us to Chattanooga in his truck."

"GANGWAY, MR. WOOLWORTH! HERE WE COME!!!" Rhonda squealed, as she hung up.

Rhonda's enthusiasm had rubbed off on Marge. Never before had she been this excited. She was leaving home, hopefully for good. Marge went into her momma's room and pulled out two dusty leather strapped suitcases from beneath the bed. She thought she'd better call Ryder before she packed, otherwise, how would she manage to slip downtown with two pieces of luggage? She lugged the bags into her room and set them on her bed, then she picked up the phone and called Ryder. In her heart she knew that Ryder didn't love her any more than she did him. Sure, he might miss her for a while after she was gone, but he would be free to date any girl he wanted and with the next girl, he would know better to "pull out" or wear a rubber or something the next time he tried something.

"Hello?" asked the voice.

"Is Ryder there? I mean, is he busy?"

"Just a moment...I'll get him."

"Thank you,"

A couple of minutes later, Ryder answered the phone at his work.

Marge had two pieces of news to relate to Ryder, she'd better tell him about the baby first and maybe he wouldn't be so upset when she told him the second item about her leaving with Rhonda.

To say Ryder was relieved was putting it mildly. President Truman had said something about feeling like the moon and the stars had fallen on him when he was told he was the new President the day FDR died. Ryder felt like the moon and the stars and the whole fucking universe had been lifted off his shoulders when Marge told him she wasn't pregnant. He didn't want to listen to anything else she had to say, as he couldn't wait to break the news to Bret. A world and a life with him now seemed possible. In just a matter of moments after Marge called him, the sun came out shining brightly on his future. He hadn't paid much attention to Marge and her leaving for Chattanooga. It registered with him that she wanted him to come by her farm around four o'clock and take her to the bus station, but the reality of what she was saying didn't seem to make an affect on him. He just politely agreed, told her he would be there to pick her up, and hung up the phone.

It would be impossible to say who was the happier, Ryder or Bret, when Ryder called him with the good news.

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Randy and Jerry were heading down the dirt road leading to the Teasdale farm when they saw Ryder coming out the front door carrying two suitcases. The two observers backed up and parked on the shoulder of the highway until Ryder left. Ryder made several more trips into the house and each time he exited, he carried boxes and bundles.

"Whaddya think he's doin'...movin' out?" Jerry asked

"Either that or he's stealin' old man Teasdale blind, while he's not at home." Randy replied.

"Shit! You know Ryder's not stupid enough to steal anything from that old fart. He'd hunt you down and shoot you if it weren't nothin' but a postage stamp you'd stole..No, I think he's either goin' somewheres or he's movin' to someplace else and I don't think he's just goin' on a trip. You don't take nothin' but a suitcase on a vacation, certainly not as much stuff as Ryder's carryin' out of that house."Jerry said, proudly over his detective work.

"I think you're right, Jer...I wonder if he's slippin' out...without lettin' Old Aaron know he's leavin'...'cause if Aaron KNEW he was leavin', he'd be on the front porch watchin' and makin' sure Ryder didn't take anything that didn't belong to him." Randy added, proving the he could play Dick Tracy, also.

"I have an idea! Let's drive around and see if we can find Aaron and then ask him real innocent-like where Ryder's goin'?"

"Now, that's a plan. Wonder where he'd be this time of day?"

"Downtown, I bet."

"Then what are we sittin' here for, let's get goin'!"

Randy started his Kaiser and he and Jerry sped off in search of Aaron Teasdale.

Things were happening all over Lumpkin all inter-related but not connected to one another.

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Aaron was not happy about going to Mae's to help her with her pole beans but what would people say if he had failed to perform his Christian duty to a widowed lady, even if she was the town gossip. Mae came out of her house to thank and watch him cut the boards into stakes, but she didn't offer to help him. She stood there trying every method she knew to get him to tell her why he had screamed at his son at the funeral. Aaron kept on sawing, listening to her probe with deaf ears. Aaron was no fool. Like everyone else, he knew better than to tell Mae anything. He wondered if he told her it was snowing would half of Lumpkin would be downtown trying to buy sleds and long underwear after she had finished spreading the weather report?

"Sure was nice of you to come over and help me on such a short notice," Mae said to Aaron.

"'sall right," he grumbled. "'twon't take long," he hoped.

"Was a mighty nice service that Chad preached for Alma. Aaron, she looked so nice in that black dress. Did you pick it out?"

"Yes'm." he said,

"Well, you sure did a good job and I hope you don't mind my saying how nice she looked after the way Cyrus Turner made her up. She looked just like she could just sit up and join in singing the hymns. I'm glad you asked for all her favorites...she loved music so."

"I didn't pick 'em. I think Chad and Lois did."

"Well, they did a good job, anyway." Mae said, dabbing her right eye pretending to be tearing up. She was ready to launch her attack. "And I was so glad to see that Bret made it home in time for the funeral."

Aaron's hands stiffened and he refused to reply to her last comment.

"Bret's such a handsome boy. When he was just a kid, I used to think if he had long hair, he would look just like Alma. The two of them were so close."

Aaron remained silent, he continued sawing. Mae was moving in closer for the kill.

"Did you two talk much? I mean, did he give you any idea where he'd been?"

"No!" he said with emphasis, trying to let her know she'd pried enough into his business. "Do you have any more boards to cut or is this it?"

"I suppose that's all I have." she replied.

"Then I guess I'm through and I can leave." he said.

Mae wasn't sure how long Aaron had taken to make her bean stakes. She wondered if Ryder had had enough time to pack and get all his belongings from Aaron's farm.

"Well, Aaron, would you stay for a glass of iced tea...or I could stir up a pitcher of lemonade in no time. You must be thirsty and that's the least I can do for all the work you've done for me."

"Thank you, ma'am. but I'm not thirsty. If you've go no more wood for me to cut then I guess I'll be gone." Aaron said,

"Oh, I DO wish you'd stay awhile and chat. I don't suppose I'll be coming over to your house so often now that Alma's gone?"

"Thank God, for that" Aaron said to himself, then to Mae he replied, "No ma'am, I guess you won't."

"We'll still be seein' each other at church on Sunday though. Are you comin' to the baptism Sunday?"

"I suppose."

"Well, I guess I'll see you there...Aaron, I just can't thank you enough for helping me today. I wish there was some way I could repay you. Maybe I'll make you a lemon cake and you and Ryder can share it."

"Thank you, but you don't need to go to any trouble bakin' a cake."

"I want to, though. Do you suppose Ryder's gonna keep on livin' with you?"

"I suppose, but it's up to him what he wants to do...Well, I gotta go. Bye, Mae, you have a nice day."

"I will, Aaron, and I promise you that when these poles beans come up, I'll pick a mess of them for you and bring 'em over to your place."

"That's quite all right, Mae, but I never eat pole beans. They give me gas."

"Well, I'll bring something else. I just have to repay you some way. I'll think of something."

"I'm sure you will, Mae, I'm sure you will". Aaron tipped his hat to her and got into his truck. He drove down her dirt drive and waited to pull out onto the highway. He saw an old blue Kaiser coming his way. Randy recognized Aaron's truck about to pull out in front of him. He honked his horn and Aaron stopped to let them pass. Instead, Randy stopped his car in front of Aaron's, blocking it.

"Say somethin' to him, Jer."

"Mornin', Mr. Teasdale." Jerry yelled, "Nice day, ain't it?"

Aaron didn't respond. He didn't know why they had stopped, but wished they would go on or get out of his way so he could proceed down the highway.

"We was just by your place and we seen Ryder...Guess you're gonna miss him."

"What in hell was Jerry talking about?" Aaron wondered. Ryder was never home this time of day and Aaron thought that the two town pranksters were pulling his leg or making up some lie. Aaron's curiosity got the best of him and he thought he would try to find out what the two of them were up to now.

"Where did you say you saw Ryder?" Aaron yelled back at Jerry, who was leaning out of the car's window."

"Over't your house. We seen him carryin' out all kinds of suitcases and boxes and stuff. Randy and me just thought he might be movin' out or somethin'...Is he?"

"If you boys'll move your car, I have to go home." Aaron said in a gruff.

"Oh, Mr. Teasdale, I don't 'spect he'll be there by the time you get home. Looked like he was almost through and about ready to leave."

"Where to?"

"Don't know, we didn't talk with him. We just seen him gettin' ready to leave. If he IS goin' somewhere, he'll probably stop downtown to say goodbye to everyone and maybe fill up his truck with gas or somethin'".

Aaron couldn't wait for Randy to move his car, instead he drove his truck around it and headed his truck toward town.

The two boys laughed with glee. Aaron looked angry and they knew if he found Ryder, Aaron would give him "what for". Now if they could only find Bret and relate to him what Nate had said. Oh, things were going too well for the two trouble-makers.

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Bret had already packed his gear and had caught a ride with one of Mae's neighbors, Kiley Hughes, and was sitting at Kidwell's Emporium waiting on Ryder to pick him up. Rhonda had packed two suitcases, bought two one-way tickets to Chattanooga and was sitting at the Greyhound station waiting for Marge.

As luck would have it, Lois and Chad had gone to Cuthbert to look at a second hand tractor Chad had seen advertised in the Journal. So Marge had had plenty of time to pack and she sat on her porch awaiting Ryder to drive her to meet Rhonda. Jem had taken advantage of his parents being gone and, unbeknownst to Marge, he had slipped off to go skinny dipping in the creek.

Marge saw Ryder's truck pulling into her drive. As it travelled down the long dirt road, she saw that the bed of the truck was filled with boxes and what looked to be suitcases. Ryder stopped near the steps and got out to see Marge sitting with two suitcases by her side.

In unison, Marge and Ryder asked each other, "Where are YOU going?"

Marge wondered if Ryder had heard a word she had said about going to Chattanooga. Ryder was faced with having to give Marge an explanation for his packed truck bed.

"Don't you remember? After I told you about getting my period, I said that Rhonda asked me to go with her to Chattanooga for a visit?" Marge asked him.

"I guess you did, but I don't think I remembered anything after you told me we weren't gonna have a baby. How long are you gonna be gone?" Ryder asked.

"Don't know...just a day or two...maybe longer." Marge replied. "Why is your truck filled with stuff? Did you move out of the Teasdales?"

"Uh...oh...yeah."

"Where you movin' to...Mae's?"

"Heavens, no. I couldn't live there. No one could. Aaron used to say that Mr. Bradley took poison to get away from her instead of havin' a heart attack...I...uh...well...Bret...he wants me to...Bret asked me...ah hell, Marge, I'm goin' away with Bret for awhile?"

"Where to?"

"Don't know...just somewhere."

"For how long?"

"Not long...I don't think. He just wanted someone to spend some time with...he's grievin' over his mother and all..."

"I know. They were so close."

"Anyway, I told him I'd quit my job and come with him 'til he gets to feelin' better."

"That's nice of you, Ryder...but what about us...were you just gonna leave and not tell me."

"Marge, we might as well say it...both of us. There ain't no "us". There never was an "us". It's always been you and Bret. I was just a poor substitute. You didn't love me and I guess I pretended to love you to make you believe I was Bret and you'd go on lovin' him, even though it was me takin' his place."

"Why didn't we say this before, Ryder?"

"I was goin' to, but I didn't want to upset you...and then after you told me you were expectin'...I COULDN'T tell you, then."

"Poor Ryder," Marge said, genuinely, "In the middle between his best friend and his best friend's girl. You're a mighty big person, You know that?"

"You know I cared about you. I had to. We wouldn't've done the thing we did in the barn if I didn't. I wish there was some way we could both put that out of our minds forever...like it never happened."

"We could try, but that's not the kind of thing that's so easily forgotten." Marge said, putting her hand to Ryder's cheek and cupping it tenderly.

"Ryder, some day, you're gonna meet the right girl and when you do, I'll envy her because she'll be getting one of the most wonderful boys in the world."

"Thanks, Marge. If I ever meet someone like that, I hope the person will always remind me of you."

"You're sweet." Marge said, leaning up to kiss Ryder on the cheek, while Ryder stood there cherishing the moment and soon he composed himself.

"Well, now...are these two suitcases all you have?"

"Yes,"

"Good Lord, you sure are takin' a lot of clothes for just a few days' visit."

"I told you, I might be staying longer."

Ryder stopped and looked at her. "You're moving for good, aren't you, Marge?"

Marge knew this was not the moment to pretend or lie to Ryder. He deserved the truth.

"Yes, Ryder, I'm finally getting out of Lumpkin."

"Me too."

"I knew it." she said. "Isn't it funny, we both live our whole lives dreaming and talking about leaving and we wind up leaving at the same time without knowing about each other's plans."

"Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways is what your daddy preaches...Do your parents know you're leaving?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. Where are they?"

"Gone to Cuthbert."

"We'd better get goin' then."

Ryder packed Marge's luggage on top of his, opened the passenger door for her, like a southern gentleman, closed it. Then he got in and started the motor to take them to the gateways to their freedom.

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Nate had gone up and down Main Street looking through every store window looking for Bret. He was out of breath when he finally spotted Bret playing a a game of pool in Kidwell's Emporium. Since colored people weren't allowed into the pool table area, Nate used a nickel he had in his pocket to peck on the glass window until he drew Bret's attention. Nate beckoned Bret to join him outside on the sidewalk. Bret walked out still carrying his cue stick.

"What's up?" Bret asked.

"I don't know," Nate replied..."but somethin' bad."

"Whaddya mean, 'somethin' bad'?"

"Bret, it's Randy and Jerry...they're up to somethin' and I'm afraid they're up to no good."

"Well, what are they up to that involves you or me?"

"Not you OR me, Bret...you AND me?"

"What do you mean, Nate? Do they know somethin' they shouldn't know?"

"Maybe..."

"Do they know somethin' about what Aaron caught us doin'?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Well, how the hell do they know anything? You didn't say nothin', did you?"

"I might've."

"When...and where?"

Nate stammered, heed and hawed until he manage to describe in detail everything that had happened and been said among the three of them at the river earlier that morning.

"Good Lord, Nate, how could you do such a thing? Do you think they told anybody?"

"Don't know, but I saw them while I was on my way to town to find you and they were headed toward Mae's farm."

"Jesus Christ! You know what it means if she finds out about it!!! Goddamn! My advice to you, Nate, is to get out of town as fast as you can. If my daddy and certain members of the Klan find out about it, you know what they'll do. If they catch you, they'll cut your balls off just before they string you up on a light post!!!"

"I know it and I'm skeered. Bret, I'm so sorry."

"There ain't time enough to be sorry, you'd just better git and git quick."

"What'll you do?"

"I'm leavin' town...just as soon as Ryder comes to pick me up."

"Where you goin'?"

"Don't matter...you just better git out of here in a hurry."

"OK...bye. Bret...believe me, I'm sorry."

Nate ducked between the emporium and Timmons' Laundry, hiding but he was still able to stick his head out to observe if anything happened. Bret walked out into the street and looked both ways, From the north, he saw Ryder's truck approaching. From the south, he saw his father's truck coming about the same speed as Ryder's. The bus station was across the street and two doors south of Kidwell's and Rhonda came out on the sidewalk to see Marge arriving at last. It was Nate who saw Randy's truck following in Aaron's tracks.

Aaron saw his son, but he also saw Nate's head protruding behind the corner of Timmons. Aaron's blood pressure was rising by leaps and bounds. His face was red with blood rushing to it in anger. Ryder pulled his truck over to the curb of the bus station and got out to open Marge's door and get her suitcase. When Marge got out, she ran to hug Rhonda for girlish support. They were both excited about sneaking off on their trip. Bret was watching what was happening in front of the Greyhound station and wondered what was going on...who was leaving with whom and where? Was Marge going to Atlanta with Ryder and him, after all? Bret leaned his pool cue against a wooden post and decided to ignore his father as he walked across the street to meet Ryder and Marge.

Just then, Aaron, still in a rage from seeing his son so close to Nate, reached down in the floorboard of his truck and picked up his hunting rifle, which he always kept loaded...all Klansmen did this for self-defense.

Bret had almost reached Ryder when Nate observed Aaron aiming his gun at his son's back. Nate ran from between the two buildings and yelled "NO!", loud enough to be heard in every store in Lumpkin. Nate's scream had startled Aaron. It had also alerted Ryder to look and see who had cried out. It was then that Ryder saw the rifle aimed at Bret. Ryder quickly stepped forward to shield his lover as Aaron jerked the trigger in reaction to Nate's cry. The bullet took a sniper's path and went through the front of Ryder's chest, missing his heart by half an inch and lodging itself in Ryder's right scapula. Ryder didn't make a sound as he fell. The noise made Bret turn around just in time to catch his fallen lover.

Aaron was aware he had fired accidentally and froze when he saw he had hit Ryder. He dropped his rifle. Bret took his eyes away from Ryder to look up and see who the shooter was. Nate, being fearful for his life and Bret's too, grabbed the pool cue that Bret had left standing, and ran toward Aaron. Nate used the heavy end of the stick to land a blow in the middle of Aaron's forehead. Aaron instantly fell, and now Nate saw he had wounded Aaron and with an irresistible instinct decided to finish off his prey like a bear or a mountain lion. Four...five...six.. he counted the times he hit Aaron in the face or on top of his head. Aaron was bleeding profusely. His face was beyond recognition.

Charlie, the sheriff, had heard the sound of the gunshot and ran out to see Nate beating Aaron. He ran over and took the cue stick out of Nate's swollen hands, wrestled Nate to the ground, and handcuffed him. Then Charlie walked over to Aaron. He bent over and felt for a pulse beat in Aaron's neck, but there was none. Aaron. the Worthy Grand Master of the Ku Klux Klan, was dead...beaten to death by a colored boy. This was a new chapter for the archives of the journal...AND south Georgia.

Across the street, a large crowd gathered. Bret was holding Ryder in his arms like a mother would caress her baby. He was kissing Ryder on his forehead, his cheeks, and his mouth.

"Don't die, goddammit!" Bret screamed. "Don't die. I love you...You love me...We're gonna spend the rest of our lives tother. We're gonna be together like husband and wife! Don't you remember? Speak to me! Say something! Tell me that you love me!." Ryder had not lost consciousness. He fixed his gaze into Bret's eyes.

"Sssh, Bret, there are people watching, please don't." Ryder managed to whisper through his pain.

"Let 'em watch! They might learn something. Fuckin' hyprocrites won't let people love each other."Bret said directly to Ryder. Then he looked up to the growing crowd that surrounded the two of them. "Did everyone hear my last remark. This is Ryder I'm holdin' in my arms. He's dyin', but not before I tell him that I love him. Did you get that? Yes, I love him! And he loves me. We ain't queers and we ain't faggots. There's nothing girlish about either one of us or the way we feel. We're two normal boys that happened to fall in love and planned to spend the rest of our lives together! Now, does anyone see anything wrong with it? Huh? Does anyone have anything bad to say?"

The crowd looked down at Bret who was holding his dying lover. Both men and women welled up with tears. Most of the whole town had known the two boys since they were born. They'd seen them grow up together like brothers, especially after Ryder had been orphaned. For some strange reason, no one saw anything wrong with their loving one another.

Rhonda had put her arm around the weeping Marge. Marge focused through her tears as she watched the two men in her life before her. She listened to Bret's words and everything became abundantly clear. She saw through all the meaningless words the two boys has said to her. It had never been she who they loved. Ryder was not the middle person between Bret and her. She had completed the length that had joined Bret with Ryder. It was they who were meant to be together. She knew she was naive, but she wondered if she could've ever figured this out before, on her own.

Someone had called the local clinic and an intern, two nurses, and a male attendant arrived with a stretcher. The intern politely removed Bret's arm from Ryder chest and placed a stethoscope on it and listened.

"His heartbeat is a little fast but it's heavy and steady. Could a couple of you men help put him on that stretcher there and carry him to the clinic?" There were more than two dozen volunteers reaching for the wooden board covered in sheets. Six men picked up Ryder and all but ran down the street carrying him.

The intern placed an arm on Bret's shoulder. "He's young and he's strong. I think we can save him. Have faith, say a little prayer to help us do what we can for him."

From out of nowhere came Mae. She put her arm around Bret to comfort him. "Don't you worry none, Bret. Ryder's gonna be all right. I know it. God meant for you boys to be together and He ain't gonna take him away from you this soon. You have to be strong and brave. He's gonna need somebody who loves him to take care of him and get him well. Do you hear me?"

Bret was coming back to reality and was astonished at what Mae had just said to him. She almost sounded sincere. He put his arms around Mae and hugged her and the two of them walked together arm in arm toward the clinic.

The bus leaving for points north, including Chattanooga, was ready to depart.

"What should I do, Rhonda? I don't want to leave now."

"Marge, Ryder has Bret here to take care of him. They have each other and neither of them needs you now."

"You mean I should go?"

"Yes," came a voice in the crowd. It was Lois. "Go on, little daughter. Leave while you can. Don't worry about Ryder or Bret...or me and your daddy, for that matter. You've earned your chance to get away and see part of the world. I never did. I spent my life here like most women...Mae...Alma...Don't wait until you're fifty and wonder what might have been, like we did. Go see for yourself."

"Oh, Momma, do you mean it?"

"Of course I do, darlin'"

"But what will Daddy say?"

"Your Daddy agrees with your Momma." said Chad, who had been listening four feet away in the crowd.

"Stay as long as it takes. If you find what you're looking for, then know that it was God who showed you the way. If you don't find it, then you know you've always got someplace to come home to."

"Oh, Daddy, I love you."

"And I love you, darlin' daughter. Now go before you miss your bus."

Marge gave her mother one final hug and put her arm around Rhonda and the two of them boarded the bus.

Cyrus Turner arrived with his measuring tape, which he always carried, and mentally began to pick out a coffin for Aaron. He had a very elegant casket made of bronze. The same kind Roosevelt had been buried in. It was guaranteed to keep a body dry for 100 years. Charlie took Nate to jail to book him for murder. After the commotion had settled, Randy and Jerry got in Randy's car and skipped town. No one realized they had left because no one missed them.

Three days later, Ryder was well enough to travel. He and Bret had decided to leave in the evening while no one was around. He sat in the lobby of the hospital waiting for Bret to come pick him up to leave for Atlanta. Bret had gone out to his old farmhouse for one last walk with the ghosts and memories of his childhood. He felt sorry for his momma and the hardships she had struggled through with Aaron. He packed most of the things he wanted to keep...a couple of high school trophies, a red bowl that had belonged to his one and only pet dog, Titus, his mother's Bible with all the crocheted markers and a picture of his momma, Ryder and him. Aaron had taken the picture, so he was not in it. Bret had paid his last ounce of anger toward his daddy by asking Cyrus to bury Aaron far away from his momma's grave. Let her spend her eternity in peace away from Aaron. He'd also asked Cyrus to bury Aaron the day after Nate had killed him. No service, no scripture. no prayers, no hymns, no flowers, and no nice words said over the body...just place him in a hole somewhere while no one was around. Maybe the Klan would come to his grave, if they could find it, and burn a cross if they wanted to.

The day before he was to leave, Bret had gone to the county courthouse and had the deed to the farm and all its land put in the name of the county orphanage. He wanted nothing or needed nothing for he and Ryder were leaving Lumpkin forever. At 8:00 PM the next night, Ryder and Bret left together, without even saying goodbye.

END