If Love Were All

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.

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IF LOVE WERE ALL

by

Ritch Christopher

With literary enhancement by

Les Martin

Chapter Eight

"DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS"

Sandy was horrified by the scene of her dad giving head to Marc, her boyfriend and the sire of her fetus. She ran as fast as she could to find her mother. Marc was praying that the ground would open up and swallow him instantly, while Burt was so high on marijuana, all he could do was laugh hysterically. Marc's only recourse was to get away as fast as he could. He could not confront Liz Sholler over what had just happened. He ran out of the greenhouse, around the side of the Sholler residence, jumped into his dad's car and sped home, breaking all posted speed limits and ignoring traffic lights and stop signs. Marc no longer feared Mr. Sholler harming him now because he was totally convinced that Liz would come after him now with any and every weapon she could get her hands on.

Marc's demise would have to wait, however, for Liz first had to deal with her husband. When Sandy haltingly described what she'd seen in the greenhouse, Liz pushed her daughter aside, flying out the back door to see for herself. When she bolted into the solarium, she looked for Marc but all she saw was Burt at the end of the third row of plants. He was lighting another joint.

"Liz, ba....by!" Burt said with a glissando slur, "come back here, pussycat, and join the party..."

"BURT! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMNED MIND?"

"I think I just found it and it feels wonderful!"

Liz stomped down the aisle between the flower boxes to get to Burt and, with her right hand, slapped him across his face, toppling him backward until he landed on the floor with a thud.

"You goddamned fool!" Liz shouted at him. "No, that's not right! I'm the fool! How could you have hidden your homosexuality from me all these years? Through our entire marriage?"

"Liz, sweetie, I'm not a homosexual!"

"Then did Sandy come running into the house and tell me a big lie? She said that you were performing oral sex on Marc?"

"Well, I did do that! But that doesn't make me a queer!"

"Good lord, listen to yourself, Burt! You're as high as Mount Everest and you just had sex with a minor...a MALE minor at that!"

"Liz, calm down! It's not the end of the world. I was just getting to know my future son-in-law a little better!"

"How many other men or boys have you had sex with?"

"None, sweetheart!" Burt said, staggering, trying to get up on his feet. "I was just curious to see why Sandy found him so attractive."

"You've done a lot of dumb things in your life, but this...this...I don't have words to describe it."

"Oh, if you'd had the chance you might have done the same thing to Marc."

"Burt! Honest to God! I can't believe those words are coming out of your mouth! DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MARC JUST MIGHT HAVE AIDS?"

"Liz, for goodness sakes, sixteen year old kids don't get AIDS!"

"You realize, of course, that I'm going to divorce you over this!"

"What?"

"You heard me. Sandy is my witness. You broke your marriage vow to me. You had homosexual sex with a child. You molested him! I'm first going to see you locked up in jail and when it comes time for our divorce hearing, I'm going to have everything you own and everything you're going to earn the rest of your life."

"Liz, baby, you don't know what you're saying. Why don't you go into the house and have a glass of wine or take one of your Xanax and after you've settled down, we'll talk this over like normal people."

"NORMAL? What the hell do you know about 'normal'? Do you have any idea if word gets out about your...your being gay, I won't be able to show my face anywhere in Holyfield."

"How's word going to get around? Sandy and Marc won't say anything. They're gonna get married!"

"Like hell they are. As far as Sandy and I are concerned, Marc is a dead boy! NO! I'm not going to kill Marc. I'm going to need him to press charges against you for molestation and infidelity at our divorce hearing. THEN I might kill him!"

"Aw, let me go into the house and take a cold shower and see if I can sober up just a bit. Sandy and Marc grew some pretty powerful pot! The best I've ever smoked."

"Burt, you're not going into the house. It's MY house now and it's off limits to you. You can get into your car and...and go...go to the nearest gay bar and see if you can find a new boyfriend who has a place for you to stay."

"A gay bar?"

"You heard me, you faggot!"

"Liz, this is getting ridiculous! I'm not gay!"

"COCKSUCKER! YOU SUCKED MARC'S COCK, DIDN'T YOU?"

"Liz, for God's sake, the neighbors will hear you. Sandy will hear you!"

"Why shouldn't she? She's seen the 'visual' of what you were doing to her ex-boyfriend, she might as well have the 'audio' to go with it. I just hope to God that Marc goes home and tells Ted what you did to him because I want Ted to have you arrested for defiling his son!"

"You're making a big deal out of nothing!"

"Did you swallow?"

"What?"

"'Did you swallow'. That's the first thing you asked me when I performed oral sex on you twenty years ago."

"I don't remember that!"

"You SHOULD! That was the only time I stooped to debauchery. I never did it again. ONLY ONCE! And then you had the nerve...the effrontery...to ask me if I swallowed. SO? DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SWALLOW MARC'S...I don't want to say the word out loud!"

"Yep! I guess I did. I guess you're right, as usual. I guess I'm a queer now. Maybe I can drive over to the country club and go into the locker room and see how many dicks I can suck. It's kinda late but maybe someone will like the way I suck and offer me a place to stay tonight."

"Frankly, Burt, I don't give a flying fuck where you go tonight or any other night. I...I suppose I'll be going to Wichita tomorrow and take Sandy with me. You can come by after I'm gone and pick up whatever clothes and other personal items you want to keep, because when I get back...any of your stuff that's still inside MY house, I'm burning it in a big bonfire!"

There was still plenty to say, but Burt, still in a stupor, walked past Liz and out of the greenhouse to get into his car and drive away, heading somewhere in the night.

It would have taken the board of directors at the American Psychiatric Association to render a logical explanation as to why Marc Browne did not have a nervous breakdown, or in medical terminology, a psychotic break, after returning home from the Sholler's. Sure, he was shaken, a nervous wreck, but he had the intelligence to act nonchalant when he saw his dad. Marc said 'hello' to Ted, walked passed him and went to his room and fell apart. He didn't tell Ted about what happened with Burt that night or any other night for the rest of their lives. He only told Buddy about it, some time later.

The following day, Liz flew to Wichita with Sandy, and Marc never saw her again until years later. Sandy, being a science whiz, found a way to abort the baby at her aunt's house. Sandy never had sex with another boy or man. After she went to the University of Kansas, four years later, she met a female soccer player, fell in love with her and maintained a lesbian relationship with her even after she got her doctorate in nuclear science.

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Lisa was recovering nicely in the hospital. She enjoyed the special care from the nurses and the psych staff...so much so that she asked Charles Alford if he would extend her treatment for a few extra days at Holyfield General Hospital.

The day after his encounter with Burt, Marc put a bar of Lava soap under his armpit to spike a temperature on the thermometer, telling his dad that he had the flu just to get out of school for the rest of the week and avoid Sandy in case she was there at the school.

With his mom away in the hospital, Toby felt more relaxed around the house. Ted, Buddy, and Marc---all three knew about his secret and how their mother had reacted upon catching him in his sordid act. Nothing was said about it by him, his dad, or his brothers.

Buddy was now torn between his feelings for Scott and his newly discovered feelings for Clint that had been revealed in the episode in his bedroom. If Buddy had ever had the slightest clue that anything might or could develop into a relationship with his best friend, he would never have gone to The Foxhole and certainly would never dreamed of going to a motel with his favorite teacher.

Things were better for Ted also with Lisa away in the hospital. He visited her every afternoon and, after he'd prepared supper for the boys, he went back to the hospital to sit with her until visiting hours were over. To make her recovery more speedy, he, reluctantly gave in and cheered her with faux excitement about their trip to the reunion. Actually, after hearing about Rex's tragedy concerning his wife and children, Ted found himself becoming eager to see his old best friend and lover.

Even though Buddy, Marc, and Toby hated the idea of going to church on Sunday, the three boys overcame their resistance and went with Ted anyway. Marc almost got a stiff neck, craning his neck to see if any of the Sholler family was at the church service, as he didn't know that Sandy and Liz had gone to Wichita and Burt didn't want to confront Marc and especially Ted, for fear he could be arrested.

The next day, Ted went to see Charles Alford for the checkup he'd promised Charles he'd have. He took Buddy along with him for his annual physical examination. In the back of his mind, Buddy kept thinking about what Clint had said about being checked for HIV, AIDS, or any other STD. Buddy was comfortable about thinking Scott was disease free and the guy at The Foxhole, his only other sexual encounter, was probably 'clean' as well...at least hopefully.

Ted was in one examining room and Buddy's room was further down the hall at Charles' clinic. A nurse drew blood from both the Browne's and after Charles had finished examining Ted, he went down to give Buddy the medical 'once-over'.

"Buddy, how are you?" Charles asked, cheerfully.

"Fine, sir."

"Everything going well at college? Are the band half-time shows going to be up to par as usual?"

"I hope so. We've been practicing day and night."

"That's good to hear," Charles replied. "Now, if you'll slip off that dressing gown, I'll check you over."

Buddy had no qualms about undressing in front of Charles because Charles was the only doctor the Browne family had ever seen. He took off the backless green hospital gown and Charles listened to Buddy's lungs and heart. Charles went through the regular medical routine; tapping on Buddy's back and chest with his fingers. He checked inside Buddy's ears, nose, and throat. Then came the worst part when Buddy had to stand, turn his head and cough while Charles poked deeply into Buddy's scrotum. The final phase had Buddy on his hands and knees on the examining table as Charles put on a rubber glove and squirted an ample amount of KY jelly to probe into Buddy's anus to feel his prostate gland. As soon as Charles inserted his finger, Buddy responded with an involuntary erection, which he tried to hide, and when his gland was touched, it took all of Buddy's willpower to keep from having an orgasm.

"Oh, God," Buddy exclaimed, quietly.

"Feel good?" Charles asked.

"Let's say it hurt good," Buddy laughed.

"Buddy, you know that anything you say to me stays with me--by law."

"Yes, sir..."

"I've been your physician since you were a wee toddler."

"Yes, sir."

"I've examined you countless times and, well, I think I know your body pretty well."

Buddy began to get a bit nervous. "I suppose so, Dr. Alford. Is something wrong?"

"I hope not. I mean, your vital signs are normal. Your lungs are clear and your heart is VERY strong. I'd say that you're in excellent health...that is until we get your blood, urine, and stool sample reports back from the lab."

"How long will that take?"

"Oh, a couple of days..."

"So do you...suspect something is wrong with me?"

"Buddy, you know that anything you tell me...I can't tell your dad or mom. It's just between us..."

"Yes, sir."

"Then will you answer honestly to a few personal questions?"

"I guess so."

"Buddy, when I was doing your anal probe just now, I noticed that both your internal and external sphincter are slightly torn as if something has been inserted. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I think so."

"Buddy, what I'd like you to tell me is if you've...well, I know how young men like to experiment with parts of their body...have you had anal sex, either by yourself with some kind of stimulating object...or with another man?"

'CAUGHT!', Buddy thought. "I...well..."

"Come on, don't be shy. I'm your doctor, not your minister or your judge."

"Yes sir, I...I had sex with a man."

"Then that explains what I felt. I...I don't need to know any of the vivid details, but, I presume then that you are...gay?"

"Yes, sir, I am...but my dad knows."

"Then that's good. I hope he was startled or angry when you told him."

"No, sir. He kind of...accepted it."

"How about your mom, Lisa?"

"She...she knows, but I didn't tell her. Some anonymous person called her on the phone and told her. That's when she freaked out."

"And that's one of the contributing factors that led me to admit her to the hospital. Is that what happened?"

"That was only part of it. There were other things which involved Marc and Toby, but I...I don't have to tell you about those, do I?"

"No, no. I'm just here talking with you...doctor to patient or rather, friend to friend. I hope, when you had anal sex, you acted safely and used a condom."

"No, sir, I didn't."

"Oh, my! I guess just to be safe I'd better have the lab run a few more tests on your blood."

"Does it look like I have something wrong with me?"

"There's no outward signs of the usual STDS...gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, no festers, boils or warts. Of course we can't be certain until your bloodwork is finished."

"And you'll know in a few days?"

"The test for HIV and AIDS takes a bit longer, but if you KNEW the person you had sex with, you must've had a pretty good idea that he was HIV negative."

"Yes, sir. I'm almost positive."

"Then we have nothing to worry about. BUT, a word of caution, never trust anyone, not your best girlfriend--or boyfriend--because you can never be sure that she or he hasn't had sex with someone else who's carrying a virus or disease. From now on...safe sex! Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now, I'll go tell the nurse to add the order for your bloodwork before it goes to the lab. There is a quick test that can be run in almost twenty-four hours, but it's not reliable and often comes back as a false-positive. I'll have that one done as well."

"Whatever you think...you're the doc!"

"So...you're gay?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Got a steady boyfriend yet?"

"Kinda...well, almost two."

"Wow! Sounds as if you're trying to make up for some lost time!"

"Not exactly! Since I'm being honest with you...I've only had sex two and a half times."

"Half? Coitus interruptus?"

"Sir?"

"Ask your dad. He's the one that should be telling you about the birds and the bees. That's his job! Of course, not many fathers know how to talk with their sons about gay sex. If there's anything you need to know, just call me. You know Seth, my son. You and he are rowing the same boat. Surely you know he's gay by the way he looks at you. I've always looked at you to see if you were getting his message. I think he's had a crush on you for years."

"Seth?"

"Come on, Buddy, don't be coy. You know precisely what I'm talking about."

"Well, yes, I...I guess I do. I've seen him looking at me at dinners on Friday night."

"Well, if you find out some day in the future that you're 'unattached', maybe you and Seth could go out together...you know, to a movie. I realize he's two years younger than you, but seeing that our families are so close, the two of you are bound to have many common interests. I hope that when Seth decides to come out openly, he'll find someone nice like you to be with...that is, ONLY if you have a couple of condoms in your wallet, if you know what I mean!"

"Yes, sir, I'll remember that if ever Seth and I...well, you know...I'll remember"

"GOOD BOY! Now, I hope I'll see you at dinner next Friday night when all of us go out. Of course by then, we'll have your lab reports back and you'll feel more relaxed."

"Yes, sir, I sure hope so."

"Your dad is waiting for you up front. I'll call you as soon as I hear something."

"Thanks."

Dr. Charles Alford wasn't aware that he'd just placed a thousand pound weight on Buddy's shoulders. He would carry this burden of fear until he found out he was disease free.

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Rather than fan Lulu's fire of suspicion, Scott ignored Buddy totally during band practice for the rest of the week after Buddy had called him. Buddy realized Scott's motive for being a bit distant and went along with it. This seemed to relax both of them. Also, Buddy remembered his and his dad's appointments with Dr. Alford yesterday and he was more than a little concerned about the blood test results after Clint had warned him about unsafe sex. So the drum major and his band director hid their feelings and decided to play it cool and not give Lulu any more reason to play the sleuth.

Having seen Buddy and Mr. Parsons at the motel actually didn't bother Lulu nearly as much as the questions she was about Clint and Buddy's relationship. She and Clint had 'separated' and she HAD called him a cocksucker in anger, but now she wondered whether what she surmised in haste actually was true. She and Clint had gone steady for nearly three years and had had sex numerous times in practically every conceivable way. They had never tried anal sex, primarily because she had imagined how much it would hurt and probably would be messy.

For the rest of the week following the motel sighting, Lulu had avoided Buddy during band practice, but she eyed him constantly when she was sure Buddy wasn't looking at her. Buddy was tall, handsome, much more so than Clint and if Clint had even the slightest hint of being gay, Buddy would be Clint's ideal choice for a sex partner/best friend...and the two guys had spent many nights are each other's houses and only God knows what they had been doing!

The more she observed Buddy, the more, in her mind, he became a rival. She began to doubt that she had pleasured Clint sexually and wondered if Buddy was better at it than she. She tried to imagine Clint going down on Buddy; the mental picture horrified her. Clint was excellent at cunniligus, allowing her to reach multiple orgasms in a matter of a few minutes. But could Clint really perform fellatio on Buddy? Damned right he would, she thought...and Buddy would enjoy the hell out of it, not only because it was Clint pleasing him, but because he had taken Clint away from her!

Lulu and Buddy had always been friends, but mainly because Buddy was Clint's best friend. It was a package deal. If she wanted Clint for a boyfriend, then it was automatic that Buddy would have to fit in somewhere whether Lulu liked it or not. But the day following hers and Clint's break up, she found herself actually hating Buddy for the first time. Maybe she had ALWAYS resented him because of Clint and Buddy's brotherly bond. Perhaps she wasn't too far off her mark, Clint just MIGHT be Buddy's cocksucker and vice-versa! Her thoughts soon descended to the gutter! If Clint had stuck his penis inside Buddy's ass and then had the nerve to fuck her...it was more than she could take! She would have to find some way of punishing BOTH of them! Then the thought hit her that Clint had never once said he loved her, not before, during, or after sex. WHY? WHY, INDEED? Because Clint loved Buddy! It had been obvious the whole time, she thought. She had told Clint countless times that she loved him and was IN love with him, but every time, when it was Clint's turn to return the phrase, he would placate her by kissing her instead! That settled it !Buddy HAD to go if she wanted to get Clint back...and when she did, she'd show him who could fuck better and give better blowjobs! That was her only method of recourse!

Now, what would it take to break up Clint and Buddy's friendship? Her mind began to race with many devious plans. She could casually let it slip around the campus that she'd heard that Buddy was HIV positive or Buddy had plotted to take Clint away from her to make Clint HIS boyfriend. No, that would be saying that she doubted Clint's masculinity, especially since he and Buddy were almost inseparable! The best approach would be to tell some of her fellow band members about seeing Buddy at a motel with Mr. Parsons. Of course, she would lose her band director AFTER he had been fired by Dean Cunningham. That's exactly what she should do! That would be her plan!

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When Ted and Buddy left Dr. Alford's office, Ted returned to his office and Buddy decided to go back home and brood. He wouldn't rest easy until his bloodwork came back from the lab. If Dr. Alford was correct, Buddy could get the result of a preliminary report by tomorrow afternoon. If THAT was negative, that would temporarily relieve some of his tension.

Not since he was eleven years old had Buddy gone into his parents room to explore through drawers, the closet, the medicine cabinet, but with everyone gone except Marc who was in his room feigning an illness, Buddy decided he would sneak into his dad's closet to find his dad's high school annual which Ted had showed all three of his sons from time to time just to demonstrate how tough things used to be when he was in high school.

Ted had sparked Buddy's curiosity when he mentioned Rex's name. Buddy simply had to see what his dad's old boyfriend looked like. As he walked down the hallway, Buddy eased Marc's door open and saw that he was asleep. Toby was at school; Ted was at his office; and Lisa was still in the hospital, so all systems were 'go' for Buddy to enter his parent's bedroom. He knew where his dad kept the yearbook, on the shelf of the closet underneath a stack of sweaters.

Buddy took the book from the closet and sat on his parent's bed to browse. He had seen his dad's picture before without paying much attention to any of the other students. Buddy was amazed that nearly all the guys had crew cuts or flat-top hair cuts. The girls were all wearing long full skirts with enough material at the hem to stand straight out if they decided to whirl around. All the guys wore blue jeans, v-neck sweaters, white socks, and loafers. The girls wore white socks, too, turned down at the tops to form a wide bulge around their ankles...and the shoes looked so funny...saddle oxfords with white toes and heels and a big band of contrasting leather around the middle. Some of the girls appeared to be wearing tiny black ballet slippers. Many of the girls wore their hair in pony tails with 'bangs' across their foreheads. They all seemed to look like cheerleaders, whether they were or not.

The senior pictures were in the front of the annual and were alphabetized. If Ted had mentioned Rex's last name, Buddy couldn't remember it, but how many boys in high school could be named, 'Rex'? Buddy perused the pictures slowly, page by page until he reached the 'h's'. There he was...Rex Hastings...Dad's boyfriend. Buddy was surprised to see how handsome Rex was. 'Damn,' Buddy thought, 'Dad and I have similar taste in men. No wonder Dad was attracted to him because I could have been attracted to Rex as well. I wonder what happened to break them up? Of course if they had stayed together, Dad would've never married Mom and none of us boys would've been born.'

Now that Buddy had a clear image of Rex in his mind, he looked through other sections of the book for other pictures. When he got to the sport section, he found several photos of Rex--Rex on the wrestling team, Rex on the basketball team. The guys on the basketball team were wearing extremely short shorts, not like the baggy mid-thigh uniforms the team wore at Holyfield High. 'Damn! They all looked sexy with their full thighs showing...especially Rex. There was one close-up shot of Rex playing basketball, doing a hook shot, and if Buddy looked carefully, he was sure he could see Rex's jockstrap, showing a full package.

Buddy's imagination raced on, trying to envision his dad going down on Rex. 'I wonder how far the two of them went when they were alone?' Had his dad experienced anal intercourse with Rex? Which of them was the dominant one in the relationship? Which did what to whom?'

The longer his mind dwelled on his dad and Rex's and their sexual antics, the more excited Buddy became. Soon he had a raging hard-on under his jeans and he felt an unbearable urge to jerk off, fantasizing about his dad and Rex together. No one was at home. Marc was asleep, so Buddy decided to indulge in some one-on-one sex by himself. So he eased down his jeans and briefs and slowly began to masturbate while looking at Rex. After a while, he started to wonder how Clint would look in a pair of Rex's basketball short pants? That's all it took to take Buddy over the edge and he climaxed...not just a little, but too much. His ejaculation spilled all over his parent's bedspread and some had even gotten onto the carpet!

Buddy was a mess with white streams all over the top of his jeans, his underwear and every place around him. A rather large splotch had landed on Rex's picture. Buddy looked around for ANYTHING to clean himself when he heard Marc ask, "Need a towel, bro?"

"Shit! Marc! I thought you were asleep."

"No, I was awake when you opened my door, then I heard you go down the hall into Mom and Dad's room and I became curious when you stayed in here so long. I wanted to see what you were doing..."

"Did you see enough?", he blurted out.

Marc laughed, "Certainly more than I expected to see!"

"What is it with this family that no one ever knocks before entering a room?"

"I don't know. You didn't knock when you peeked in on me."

"I guess you're right. I'm just as much at fault as anyone."

"Do you mind if I ask what you were looking at that got you so turned on? Since I know you're gay...it couldn't have been a picture of some girl."

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."

"Try me."

"Come here, but watch where you step...part of me is on the carpet."

"Ooowee! You sure cum a lot!"

"I swear this is the most I've ever cum in my life."

"So show me the picture! Maybe he'll excite me too!"

"I doubt it, but look at this guy doing a jump shot."

"So?"

"I...I really shouldn't tell you this because I promised I wouldn't tell anyone...then I fucked up and told Clint accidentally."

"Told Clint what? Come on, I'm your brother! If you can tell Clint, you can certainly tell me."

"Promise you won't breath a word to Mom or to Toby?"

"Promise..."

"OK, this guy...that one there...his name is Rex...Rex Hastings...and, well, he used to be dad's boyfriend."

"Shut up! Are you serious or is this some bullshit?"

"Honest to God! Dad told me himself. I just had to get a look at his picture in Dad's high school annual."

"Dad was queer?"

"Don't say 'queer'...'gay'! Dad was gay!"

"Was or IS?"

"WAS! He and Rex haven't seen one another since high school."

"Dad told all of this to you?"

"Well, Mom sure as hell didn't tell me!"

"Holy shit! Does Mom KNOW?"

"Heck, no! If she knew, she'd've left dad years ago. You saw how she reacted when she caught me in bed with Toby! She freaked out and landed in the hospital."

"So it was you and Toby who sent her off the cliff? I thought it was me and Sandy who did it to her."

"Say, you never did tell me what happened when you went over to Sandy's house to meet with Mr. Sholler?"

"Shit, that's something YOU won't believe!"

"He didn't get his gun after you, did he?"

"No, it was MY gun he got."

"YOUR gun? What do you mean. You don't have a gun! I was nearly a teenager before Mom agreed to let me have a cap pistol!...I still have it!"

"Good, I might want to borrow it the next time I see Mr. Sholler."

"So, what happened? Damn, you know all MY secrets. You walked in while I was shooting cum all over creation!"

"Brace yourself...but like you told me...DON'T SAY A WORD TO ANYONE!"

"I promise."

"Mr. Sholler blew me!"

"Did what?"

"When I got there he was high on pot and before I knew what was happening, he had my pants around my ankles and he gave me a blowjob!"

"Marc, are you making this up just so he won't come after you?"

"Ask Sandy, she saw us!"

"HOLY FUCK! What did you do?"

"I ran like hell when she went inside her house to tell her mother!"

"Shit! And you didn't tell Dad?"

"Would YOU have told him?"

"No, he'd've been in the bed next to Mom's at the hospital!"

"Have you seen any of the Sholler's since?"

"They weren't at church yesterday. I suppose they're all hiding in their house behind locked doors."

"I guess they'll stay that way forever. We both know how Mrs. Sholler is."

"Heck, when I first got there, he told me about the wedding plans he was making for Sandy and me."

"You can't get married at your age without Mom and Dad's permission."

"Thank God for that!"

"Did he say anything about what's gonna happen with yours and Sandy's baby?"

"I think I'm supposed to marry her and move in with the Sholler's."

"Damn! Live in the same house with Mrs. Sholler? No way!"

"At least all SHE did was scream at me and threaten to cut my balls off. She didn't try giving me a blowjob."

"Marc, I'm your big brother and I won't let you move in with the Sholler's! Hell, within twenty-four hours, you'd be in the same room with Mom and Dad. SHIT! Why don't we rent an entire ward at the hospital for ALL of us? Y'know, we are one fucked-up family! Maybe when Mom gets home, we should make a suicide pact...all five of us. Then we could seal up all the windows and doors; blow out the pilot light in the stove; open the oven door and turn up the gas as far as it will go. We're all fucking nuts! You should have seen Dad dancing in the kitchen the other night when Toby and I caught him..."

"Dad was dancing in the kitchen?"

"Naked...STARK NAKED and jerking off at the same time!"

"God, no!"

"Yep, Toby and I both stood there at the door while he pretended Mom was sitting at the kitchen table and he shot off all over the table and the floor."

"What did he say when he saw you?"

"I think he said, 'hello'? What else could he have said. Now, let's recap the situation...Mom walked in on Toby while he was jerking off. Toby and I walked in on Dad. YOU just walked in on me. That just leaves you. No one has walked in on you yet...so what time do you usually jerk off so that we can walk in on you and even out the score?"

"I was walked in on by Sandy while her dad was blowing me. Doesn't that count?"

"Yeah, I guess it does, come to think of it!"

"Wait, Buddy, you left out about Mom walking in and finding you in the bed with Toby."

"I guess I thought that DIDN'T count since it was so innocent. I've been holding Toby like that since he was...well, since ever. You know full well that I'd never touch him, not in a million years. There is ONE 'walk-in' episode, you DON'T know about!"

"TELL! TELL ALL!"

"Dad and Toby walked into my bedroom while Clint and I were messing around."

"CLINT?..STRAIGHT-AS-AN-ARROW CLINT?"

"Yeah, but I won't go into vivid details about it."

"Was Clint on his knees praying for you when Dad and Toby walked in and thought he was giving you a BJ?"

"No, heck. Well, Dad and Toby know about it, so why keep it a secret from you? Clint and I were giving each other BJ's at the same time!"

"Damn, dude! Looks like your belated sexuality is getting into top gear."

"Yeah, mine, Toby's and yours!"

From the doorway, Toby said, "Hi guys! What are the two of you doing in Mom and Dad's room?"

"Well, Tobe, if you look closely, you'll see semen all over me, the bed, and the carpet. So I guess I'd better tell you the truth. You see, I thought Marc needed one more masturbation lesson. He's not quite up to par as you and I are...but now, I think he's ready to graduate."

Marc held back his laughter as long as possible and finally just fell apart and began laughing out loud, hysterically. Only ten seconds passed before Buddy joined him. Poor Toby had no idea why they were laughing, but he laughed along with them anyway. This moment was the most relaxed any of the brothers had experienced in days. Their laughing continued for most of that afternoon.

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Ted came by the hospital from work to see Lisa before going home to make dinner for the boys. Lisa was sitting up in bed looking at herself in a hand mirror. Ted hardly recognized her because her hair, which was usually chestnut brown, was almost platinum blonde and had been cut much shorter. She was wearing an exorbitant amount of make up which really looked good on her. It was if she had been totally made-over on Oprah's show.

"Lisa, is that you?"

"Of course, silly?"

"What? How?"

"They have this darling little beauty shop on the first floor and Charles thought it would make me feel better if I could make a few changes in my life. Do you like it?"

"Well, sure...you look beautiful!"

"I thought I'd pop everyone's eyes out at the reunion next week."

"You'll do more than that! They'll be buzzing about you for the next twenty-five years!" Ted said.

"I'm afraid twenty-five years from now, it'll take a lot more than a beauty shop makeover for me to make an impression when we go to our fiftieth reunion. I'll need some plastic surgery to get rid of a few lines and wrinkles. Then, everyone else will look seventy-five and I'll be thirty once again. I was thinking about a breast enhancement. I don't mean twenty-five years from now, but soon. I wish the idea had occurred to me three months ago and I'd really knock 'em dead next week."

"Lisa, you don't have to get yourself all dolled up for me. I'd love you if you were old and gray."

"Who says we're going to be together when YOU'RE old and gray?"

"What are you talking about? It's that medication Charles prescribed for you, isn't it?"

"Maybe, but if it IS the medication, I should've been taking it all along to deal with the pressure of raising three teenagers."

"Then I presume Charles is going to discharge you from the hospital in a few days since you're looking so well?"

"I love it here! I might just stay the rest of the week!"

"But if you're well, our insurance won't..."

"Who says I'm well? I might go home today or tomorrow and walk down the hall from our bedroom and see what kind of sexual perversions your sons are involved with and have a total relapse!"

"Lisa, they're not MY sons, they're OUR sons!"

"Not any more. You can have them all to yourself. I want no part of them from now on."

"Lisa, I don't know what you thought you saw, but there's no perversion among our boys. You almost gave Toby a nervous breakdown when you saw him masturbating."

"I suppose he learned that from you! It was nasty and I wanted Toby to know it!"

"It WASN'T nasty, Lisa. Masturbation is normal. All boys do it...even girls if you care to admit it!"

"I never touched myself that way!"

"That's probably true. You'd hardly ever let me touch you."

"Ted, your sexual appetite has always disgusted me. If I hadn't wanted children, I might never had allowed you to touch me!"

"Too bad I didn't know that before we married. I might have made a few changes in MY life."

"It's not too late, darling."

"Yes, but the kind of changes I need don't come from a barber shop!"

"I'd tell you to have an affair, but there's the danger that you wouldn't be discreet...and you'd get caught! There would be a scandal and I couldn't be president of the PTA any longer."

"You'd honestly let me have an affair? Can you hear yourself? Do you know how utterly insane you sound?"

"No, dear, I'm just being myself for the first time. My visit to the hospital has opened my eyes to a lot of things. I've neglected my personal self by becoming a mere housewife and the mother of three ingrates! Did you see your 'homosexual' son in bed with his youngest brother?"

"Lisa they weren't doing anything wrong. I discovered that Toby quite often goes into Buddy's room just to be held...to feel the love that you and I have failed to give him!"

"I wish NOW I HAD had Buddy arrested for molestation. I would have if I hadn't fainted."

"DEAR GOD, LISA! Buddy was NOT molesting Toby!"

"Then what was he doing in a motel in the middle of the afternoon with one of his teachers?"

"I...I don't know. I don't have all the facts yet."

"It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to find out that Buddy is a queer!"

"So what are you going to do when you come home? Have Buddy arrested then?"

"I'll let you deal with him. After all, he's YOUR son."

"OUR son, Lisa, OUR son."

"He's not my son any longer...neither is Marc. I hope Burt Sholler has Marc arrested and sent to prison for statutory rape."

"JESUS! What about Toby? Do you want to have him put in chains and locked to his bed?"

"Only if there's a way to keep his hands above his waist!"

"Lisa, I'm going home. I have to fix dinner for OUR sons. I'll call you later tonight."

"Don't bother! You should concentrate all your time on your three sex delinquents and forget about me. What you SHOULD do is give them a loaf of bread and some water and send them to bed WITH their bedroom doors open so that you can watch them. Of course, you think what they're doing is 'normal' so you might get a kick out of watching their perversion!"

"GOODBYE, LISA!"

"Toodles!" Lisa replied, coiffing her hair.

Ted left the hospital in a huff. It was nearly six o'clock, but dinner for the boys would have to wait! Ted needed a real drink, not cooking sherry! He got in his car and drove around, not knowing which way he was going. Finally, he saw a neon sign advertising cocktails. So he pulled into the parking lot and walked into a bar called Andy Panda's.

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Lulu sat by the phone with a hairbrush in her hand. It took a few minutes for her to muster enough courage to hit herself in the nose with the backside of the brush. She inflicted enough of a blow to her face and nose to inflame her sinus passages and cause tears to come down her face. She was ready now to make her phone call. She dialed a familiar number and waited four rings before someone answered.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Walters...?" Lulu said, in her best whimpering and sniveling voice.

"Yes...?"

"Oh, Mrs. Walters...I'm so heartbroken..."

"Louise...Lulu? Is that you, dear? You sound terrible! What's wrong, dear?"

"Mrs. Walters...it's just terrible."

"What is?"

"Clint and me..."

"Clint and you, Lulu? What happened."

"We broke up, Mrs. Walters."

"I...I'm so sorry to hear that, Lulu. Clint hasn't said a word to me about it."

"I...I can understand why..."

"Lulu, you're talking in riddles! I have no idea on earth what you're trying to tell me."

"I...I feel lost without Clint."

"I'm sure you do, dear. But I'm sure whatever happened is just a silly lovers' spat. You can work it out between you. After all, you two have been sweethearts for such a long time."

"Mrs. Walters...what happened is something Clint and I can never work out."

"Then tell me what happened, Lulu. I'll see what I can do."

"That might help if you DID talk with him."

"Lulu, give me some place to start. Tell me why the two of you broke up."

"He...Clint doesn't love me any more. He loves someone else."

"Are you sure? You're the only girl that Clint talks about."

Lulu began to cry louder. "That's the problem, Mrs. Walters, Clint's not in love with another girl...it's a guy!"

"Lulu, I don't know what kind of nonsense you're playing, but I know for sure that Clint could NEVER fall in love with a guy!"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"I will!"

"Don't look too shocked when he tells you who the other guy is!"

"Why don't you prepare me for the shock by you telling me first?"

"It's Buddy, Mrs. Walters, Buddy Browne."

"I know I don't believe you now. Clint and Buddy have been best friends since they were children."

"They're more than just best friends. How many times have they spent the night together at each other's houses?"

"About the same number as all best friends do, I'd imagine."

"Did you know what they were doing when they went to bed?"

"Watched TV, played games..."

"Games with each other's bodies..."

"Lulu, how do you know this?"

"Mrs. Walters, everyone on campus knows Buddy's a queer. It's common knowledge among the band members...and Clint sleeps with him, doesn't he?"

"Oh, my Lord!"

"Now, can you see why we broke up and it's impossible for us to ever see one another again."

"I...I'll have to find out for myself, Lulu. I can't accuse my son of something without proof."

"I'm sure Clint will lie about it! Why don't you ask him first if he knows Buddy is gay?"

"I will!"

"Thanks for listening to me...good night, Mrs. Walters."

"Good night."

Lulu replaced the receiver on the phone. Her tears had turned into a devilish grin, while at the Walters house, Vivian Walters hung up the phone and shouted, "CLINT! COME HERE INSTANTLY! I need to talk to you about something...NOW!"

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(To be continued in "If Love Were All-9").