All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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IF LOVE WERE ALL
by
Ritch Christopher
with literary enhancement by
Les Martin
Chapter Six
"MY BUDDY"
It was surely a sign of good friendship for Clint to come over to support Buddy in such a dilemma, especially when Clint was straight and had just learned of Buddy's homosexuality plus the fact that Clint had broken up with Lulu, his girlfriend by defending Buddy to her.
Buddy was still shaken by the news Clint had related to him over the phone about the possibility of Lulu's phoning Lisa to blab that she'd seen Buddy coming out of a motel with her band director, Mr. Parsons. Ted, Buddy's dad, was still in the dark about this mysterious situation that had his wife fainting and going to bed ill. However, when Buddy went to the back door and saw Clint standing there, Buddy felt a slight sense of relief.
"Hello, Clint," Ted said, still seated at the kitchen table.
"Mr. Browne," Clint replied.
"Here, Clint, sit down at the table and join Dad and me," Buddy said. "Have you eaten yet?"
"Yeah, I ate at the mall while Lulu was shopping. I told my mom so that she wouldn't hold dinner for me."
"Clint," Ted began, "Buddy and I were having a little discussion. It halted when he told me that he had something important to tell me but it would have to wait. Are either of you boys ready to fill me in?"
Buddy and Clint looked at each other as if to say, 'You wanna go first?'.
"Dad, Clint already knows about my being...you know..."
"Gay?" Ted asked.
"Yes, sir."
"I suppose I should've known that you would tell your best friend before you told your father..."
"I'm sorry, Dad, but...well, like what happened with Toby, things of a... well, a sexual nature, are not discussed openly OR privately in our house."
"Clint, how did you feel when Buddy told you?"
"Well, sir, needless to say, I was shocked at first, but after I went home and thought about it, it didn't bother me at all. I can only assume that Buddy's been gay all along and it never interfered with our being best friends when I didn't know, so why should it be a problem now?"
"I hope you won't mind my presumption, but hearing what you just said, I'm to assume that you aren't gay...?"
"No, sir."
"Then I admire your stance of being so open-minded and choosing to remain best friends."
"Oh, Buddy and I have a lot of differences...music, movies, clothes, girls, but that's all a part of being best friends. It would be kinda boring if we liked everything exactly alike. We have things to discuss and disagree over. That's the way it's always been between the two of us."
"Then that brings me to my main question," Ted said. "Buddy told me tonight that he's gay and that you, Clint, already knew. Then what's the missing link that Buddy couldn't tell me until you got here?"
"Dad, this is gonna be hard to say...I mean, Clint already knows about it, but...but today...I...I sorta had a...I had sex with a guy this afternoon, Dad...in a motel...and Clint saw me when I was leaving with the guy."
"Oh? That didn't shock you, Clint?" Ted asked.
"A little, maybe...but that's not the deal..."
"Oh?"
"Dad, Lulu was with Clint and she saw me and this guy, too."
"Then I guess she was the one who was shocked if she didn't know that you were gay."
"'Shocked' is putting it mildly, Mr. Browne. Lulu blew a gasket!"
"I thought the kids of today were more accepting of each other's lifestyles. Why would Lulu be so upset at learning Buddy's gay?"
"Dad...I don't think she would've been so upset if she hadn't seen who I was with..."
"Some friend of Lulu's she didn't know was gay?"
"Not a friend, Dad. It...it was one of Lulu's and my teachers."
"Oh, Jesus, Buddy! How could you have been so careless?"
"That's not the worst part, Mr. Browne. Lulu got so angry she said that she was going to call Mrs. Browne and tell her what she'd seen!" Clint added, quickly.
"Oh, good GOD! Things are beginning to become clearer. Lisa must've had a traumatic afternoon...Toby, Liz, Sandy, and Marc...all topped off with Lulu's phone call. DAMN!"
"Dad, I'm sorry. No one was supposed to see me at the motel. I had no way of knowing anyone would call Mom or you."
"Can I know the rest?...The teacher's name?"
"Dad...it was Mr. Parsons, my band director...Lulu's, too."
"You see, Mr. Browne, when Lulu told me her intention, she and I had a big fight. Hell, we even broke up over it! I...I couldn't stop her."
"Scott Parsons, huh?"
"Yes, sir."
"Did Lulu say anything about calling HIS wife, too?"
"I didn't hear her mention it, but I guess it's a possibility. She went into a rage and accused me of having a gay relationship with Buddy and she screamed, 'Cocksucker' at me while I was driving away from her house. I wouldn't be surprised if she calls my mom to tell her what she thinks about Buddy's and my friendship."
"Hell hath no fury..."
"Pardon?" Clint said.
"Nothing, son, I was just thinking out loud. I suppose we should put our heads together and see what the three of us can do. I'll have to deal with Lisa first, and that's going to be very difficult to say the least."
"Oh, God, Dad, if Lulu DID call her...I'll never be able to face Mom again!"
"It seems you'll have to stand in line, Buddy. Toby and Marc are ahead of you."
"What's with Toby and Marc?" Clint asked.
"You'd never believe what's happened in this house inside of one day, Clint...not in a million years. If some soap opera was to write this into one of their plots, the audience would switch dials because it's just too un'fucking'believable. Sorry about the curse word, Dad."
"It's all right, Buddy, it was appropriate," Ted replied.
"I'm your best friend, wanna tell me anything about what went on?"
"Buddy, why don't you take Clint into your room and tell him as much as you want...except what you and I were talking about before Clint arrived..."
Buddy knew that the 'Rex' topic was never to be mentioned to anyone, not even Clint. "Sure, Dad."
"Now that I have a complete picture, maybe I can talk to your mother."
"Come on, pal," Buddy said to Clint, putting one hand around the back of Clint's head and guiding him out of the kitchen. As the two of them exited, they ran into Toby standing just outside the kitchen door. Toby didn't have to say a word to Buddy because Toby's face told Buddy that he'd heard the conversation with the three of them. Toby looked scared, puzzled, and sad, all at the same time.
"Hey, Tobe! You...you feeling better? You...you want something to eat? Dad's in the kitchen. Just tell him you're hungry and he'll fix you something."
"I...I'm not especially hungry, Buddy."
Buddy got on his knees and looked Toby straight on. "Look, little guy, I...I heard about what happened this afternoon between you and Mom. I have to go talk with Clint for a little while and then I'll come into your bedroom and we can talk about your problem...OK?"
"I...I don't think I want to talk about it," Toby replied, on the verge of tears.
"Look, you and I will get everything all patched up like always. OK?"
"We'll see..."
Buddy gave Toby a big hug and went upstairs with Clint. Toby quietly went into the kitchen to be with his dad. He was reticent about looking at Ted, even though his dad was very sympathetic with Toby's embarrassing moment with his mom. As a teen, Ted had never been caught by his parents while playing with himself, but only because he feared that his mother would've had the same reaction as Lisa did earlier with Toby...only maybe worse. Toby wasn't able to look his dad in the eye. It was bad enough that his mother had seen him naked but she had seen what most mothers shouldn't see...ever. Toby wondered how his dad would have reacted had he been the one to walk into the bedroom just as Toby climaxed.
Among Toby's peers at school, the topic of masturbation was all but taboo. Only older students bragged about it in gym or in the showers after practice. But Toby was twelve, too young to know about such things. It was only because his puberty was a bit more advanced that it had become a problem, since no other twelve-year-old kid even had pubic hair such as Toby had sprouted. He was probably the only one in his age group who was capable of having a wet orgasm. He was fearful of what his dad might have to say to him as he entered the kitchen.
"Hey, Tobe!" Ted said, trying to appear as if everything was normal and fine. "Did you decide you were hungry?"
Ted's question relaxed Toby as he was expecting his dad to confront him immediately about the 'incident'. "Some, maybe..."
"What can I fix you to eat, son?"
"A sandwich, maybe...some soup or chili...or even a pizza...whatever causes you the least amount of trouble, Dad."
"Son, I'll fix you anything you want...a steak, maybe?"
"No, sir, a cheese sandwich will be fine."
"One or two?"
"Uh...two, I guess."
"Then, two it is. Want them toasted or grilled?"
"Grilled would be great."
"Good! Just have a seat and keep me company while I make you the Browne Grilled Cheese Special...coming up!"
"Thanks, Dad."
"Uh...how was school today? Did you stay for wrestling practice."
"It was cut short. Coach had a dental appointment...so I came home early."
"Oh, well, I'm sure your coach will make up the lost time with you."
Toby didn't acknowledge his dad's remark with a reply. Instead, he sat at the table with his head down while his dad began to make the sandwiches. After a minute or two of silence, Toby, quietly said, "Dad...?"
"Yes, son."
"Did...did you hear what happened today?"
"I heard about a lot of things that happened today. What are you referring to?"
"I mean about Mom and me."
"I...I heard 'something' happened but I wasn't given many details. You... uh, want to enlighten me?"
"I...I was bad, Dad! REAL bad."
"Good heavens, don't tell me that you broke one of your mom's figurines or knocked over one of her prized plants? I can see how that would make her upset."
"I...wish it were that simple, Dad. At least I could help pay for a broken figurine using my allowance...or I could repot a plant."
"It was something worse?" Ted was still playing the innocent inquirer. He chose not to press Toby, but let him reveal as much as he wanted or needed to.
"You don't know ANYTHING about what happened?"
"I'm afraid I'm mostly in the dark, son. Was it something so horrible you can't trust me enough to tell me about it?"
"Sorta..."
"Your...uh...your mom is in her bedroom with her door closed, so why don't you and I talk about it...man-to-man and see if I can put some light on the subject? Maybe if we put our heads together and talk about it...it might not be as bad as you think."
Somehow, Toby got the urge to speak blatantly. "Dad, did you ever teach Buddy or Marc about...about...MASTURBATION?"
Ted was so surprised by Toby's openness using the taboo word, he almost dropped the skillet.
"Son, where did you hear that word? And why did you ask me that question?"
"I just gotta know. Did you teach them about it?"
"Being perfectly honest with you, Toby, I can't remember that I did."
"You know what it is, don't you, Dad?"
"Of course, son, every man knows."
"I'm not a man yet, Dad...neither is Marc. Buddy is almost a man. How are we supposed to learn about it if you don't teach us?"
Ted could feel a branding iron on his forehead searing a permanent 'F' for 'failure as a father'. He realized how his sons had been going through growing pains with no one, especially their father, to guide them. He had abused their pubescent years unknowingly or maybe it was on purpose out of sheer embarrassment. Toby's inquiry had only fortified the worthless feelings Ted had felt all afternoon since coming home.
"I...I guess...well, my dad never taught me about it. It's just one of those things that a man...a young man...a boy learns by himself. It was something that my dad never discussed with me...and I suppose I was wrong by forcing you to follow in my footsteps."
"Is it a bad thing to do?"
"No, son, it's...it's normal, I guess."
"How old were you when you found out about it?"
"I don't know...maybe fifteen or sixteen..."
"But not twelve?"
"No, son, not twelve..."
"Is it a sin?"
"When I was a kid, the preacher at my church taught us that it was. Only he called it by another name...Onanism...named for an Old Testament character named Onan. The Bible says that Onan committed a sin when his...his seed spilled on the ground."
"Your preacher said that in church?" Toby's eyes grew in disbelief.
"Yes, he did. I guess he was warning all kids my age that it was a sin and we weren't supposed to do it or we'd risk being punished by God. Of course, even though my dad never used the word out loud, I was given all kinds of terrible reasons never to do it...like I could go blind or hair would grow on the palms of my hand for everyone to see. I was also told that if I did it by myself, I could ruin myself physically and never be able to have children with a woman."
"Did you believe all those things?"
"For a long time, I did. Then, when I was about fifteen years old, I had a best friend...Rex...and the two of us decided we'd defy our parents and try it anyway...I...well, Rex and I started to enjoy it and after a couple of months when neither of us had any problems with our eyes and there was no sign of hair in our palms, both of us...Rex and I began to believe we'd been lied to about it."
"So you didn't believe any of those things again?"
"No, I guess Rex and I didn't."
"So you didn't believe it was a sin anymore? You didn't think it was a bad thing to do?"
"No, son, I guess we didn't..."
"Well, Buddy and Marc convinced me that there was nothing wrong with it and I...like you said...decided to learn about it all by myself."
"Oh?"
"Yes, sir, this afternoon---only...only Mom walked into my bedroom and caught me."
"That must've been mighty embarrassing, huh?"
"Dad, I wanted to die. I started thinking of ways to kill myself. I almost jumped out of my window to hit the ground below when Mom screamed, 'Nasty! Nasty!"
"I had no idea she did that, Toby. I'm sorry...really!"
"Dad, it isn't nasty is it?"
"No, son, it's not. It's just something that women or girls don't understand. I suppose to your mom, it would appear to be nasty. I mean, she, just like me, isn't not aware of how fast you're growing up."
"Buddy and Marc said that they do it all the time...they even said that YOU did it too."
"Wow! I guess I failed with your brothers as well."
"Dad, if you had been the one who walked in on me instead of Mom, would you have shouted, 'Nasty' at me?"
"No, son, I'm sure I wouldn't have."
"Would you have told me to stop?"
"Probably not. I suppose as soon as you saw me, you'd have stopped all by yourself."
"I guess so..."
"So...you talked to your brothers about all this...but not me. Why?"
"I don't know. I DID want to...after my...my accident in wrestling practice."
"Toby, I feel as if I've let you down. I've let your two brothers educate you about life when it was my job to educate each of the three of you."
"Dad, I guess what I need to know is...is it all right if I keep doing it? Buddy said if I did it two or three times a week, I'd never have that same kind of accident in wrestling practice again."
"Buddy is probably right," Ted suddenly got the courage to use the 'taboo' word in front of his youngest son. "Toby...masturbation is quite normal and it's healthy for your glands...your prostate gland to be exact."
"What's that...prostate gland?"
"That's something I will teach you. You won't have to go to your brothers to ask questions any longer. I'll be the father I'm supposed to be."
"But...but what about Mom?"
"You leave her to me. What you and I say will be man-to-man...no mothers or females allowed. I just wish to God I'd had the nerve to talk with Marc and Buddy when they were your age."
"I betcha there's still a lot you could teach 'em!"
"Son, after today, I'm sure there's a lot I SHOULD have taught them."
"Buddy's gay, isn't he," Toby announced, right out of the blue, stunning Ted again. "I know what 'gay' means, Dad. You don't have to teach me that."
"Why did you say that about Buddy?"
"I was outside the kitchen door when you, Buddy, and Clint were talking."
"How much did you hear?"
"Enough to put two and two together. I heard Mom scream when she got that phone call. Now I know it must've been Lulu calling her to tell her about Buddy and his band director at the motel..."
"Oh, God, little pitchers..."
"I know...have big ears. So I heard it. Is it true?"
"As long as you overheard Buddy and Clint talking about it...yes, it is. But, man-to-man, will you promise not to ask Buddy about? He'd be just as embarrassed as you were when your mom walked in and discovered YOUR secret."
"Dad, I guess you know that Marc got Sandy pregnant?"
"Good Lord, Toby! You found out everything before I did!"
"Boy, you should've heard Sandy's mother screaming at Mom. She called you a few bad names, too."
"At this point, Toby, I probably deserved them."
"Does that mean Marc's gonna be a daddy and that'll make me an uncle?"
"It's still too soon to know that until we get all the facts."
"I suppose all of this hit you pretty hard, huh? Finding out that Buddy's gay, Marc's gonna have a baby, and Mom went crazy when she caught me masturbating...all in the same day!"
"Yes, son, I'm...I'm a bit shaken to say the least. I'll tell you what! Let's change the subject while I finish grilling your sandwiches, OK?"
"What do you wanna talk about, Dad?"
"Uh...you choose the subject!" Ted said as he buttered the bread.
Toby sat silent for a few minutes while he ran through a dozen topics of discussion and finally said, "Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Can a person really grow marijuana in a greenhouse in someone's backyard?"
The falling skillet burned Ted's leg as it dropped from his hand!
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For the second time in less than a week, Scott entered the 'Andy Panda'. It had been almost twilight as he got out of his car so it took little time for his eyes to adjust to the darkened cocktail lounge. Just as Scott had anticipated, he saw Fred sitting at the same stool...and yes, sounding a huge belly laugh, Sally was at the opposite end of the bar being the life of the party for two men who had yet to realize she was really a transvestite. As soon as she saw Scott she yelled, "Hey, honey! Did you come back to buy your old momma a drink?" Scott ignored her and sat down next to Fred.
"Hey, John," Fred said. Scott almost looked around to see whom Fred was addressing, then realized that he had told Fred that was his name.
"Oh, hi, Fred!" Scott replied.
"If you don't mind my saying it, you look a lot different from the last time I saw you."
"Different? How different?"
"You seemed to look more relaxed, happier. The last time you were here, you were all upset about something. Why the sudden change? Have a good day?"
"A great day, Fred. Or at least, a great afternoon!"
"Uh, oh, sounds like you scored."
"I...uh...I wouldn't call it scoring, but I did have some wonderful sex."
"Not with your regular partner, I presume. I don't know if you have a wife or a lover, but no one gets excited as you look unless it's with someone special."
"You're right there, it was with someone special."
"Well, good for you. Maybe if I keep hanging around here for a year or two, someone special might come into my life."
"I wasn't even looking for someone special...it's like that someone just suddenly came into view. I'd known that person for almost two years...then all at once..."
"That's the way they say love happens...when you're not looking for it! Hell, I keep looking for it and then I stop looking for it and nothing seems to happen to me either way. I still have the comfort of my longtime companion, Johnny Walker...of course, I can't fuck him. I could suck on his neck or lick his label or even take a chance of using him as a dildo to shove up my ass. But with my luck, he'd break into a hundred pieces of glass and I've have a tough time explaining that to an ER staff. I guess it's safer with a gerbil."
Scott had no idea of what Fred was talking about but he gave him a condescending grin and a placating laugh. He held up his hand to get the bartender's attention and ordered a shot of Johnny Walker for himself and another for Fred. Fred thanked Scott by toasting him with his empty glass.
"So...this 'someone special'," Fred continued, "are your feelings serious?"
After a moment of real thought,he told himself and Fred, "I think so."
"On your part or both?"
"Both, I'm pretty sure."
"Then I hope it works out for the two of you."
"Fred, for the first time in my life, I saw the real me...the one I've always wanted to be."
"You suddenly realized your mistake by marrying a woman, didn't you? I've seen all the signs, time and again. I nearly made that mistake myself. I almost married a woman for companionship, but then before I took the giant leap into straight matrimony, I suddenly saw I could be just as lonely or lonelier in the wrong kind of relationship. There's a huge difference in being alone and being lonely."
"That's just it! You hit it on the head! I've been married for ten years and have been lonely all the time except when I'm with my kids."
"It's too bad your first relationship with a man didn't work out."
"I can see that now and I regret it."
"Where is he now?"
"I heard from my mother that he finished med school and was thinking about going to New York to work for a special project or maybe even to go into private practice."
"Wow! You could've hit the jackpot and married a doctor? Do you know if he's got a boyfriend or a lover?"
"That's not the kind of thing my mother would know about. She still doesn't know about our relationship. She doesn't know that either of us had gay feelings. Hell, I wasn't sure about myself until a couple of hours ago!"
"Feels kinda nice, doesn't it? To finally know, I mean."
"Yeah, at long last...but now, I'm not sure where to go from here."
"A wife, two kids, and a gay lover on the side! It sounds complicated, but there are millions of guys like yourself with the same predicament."
"Millions?"
"Believe me...millions!"
"I had no idea..."
"Just don't start spreading the news or millions of wives will stop procreating and that'll be the end of civilization as we know it."
The bartender set the drinks in front of Scott and Fred and they raised their glasses up for a silent toast.
"How many gays do you think there are in the world?" Scott asked.
"Latent or overt?"
"Both..."
"Different analysts have different percentages. Some say five percent. Others guestimate it as being twenty-percent. I'm not a statistician, just an observer, but I'd say twenty-five percent or even higher. Hell, back in the 60's and 70's when Masters and Johnson put out their findings on the sexual actions of men, they claimed that nearly ninety-percent of all American men had experienced some kind of homosexual sex. It might not have been more than a Boy Scout campfire circle-jerk, but that's close enough to count. With more and more famous people coming out of the closet and with more and more biographies of world figures revealing their homosexual secrets...world leaders, composers, artists, conquerors, even popes...it's not quite so scandalous any more. It wouldn't surprise me that if in fifty years, half the world's population will be engaging in open gay and lesbian relationships!"
"Jesus, Fred, you ought to write a book on the subject or go on a national speaking tour."
"I'm just talking about things I've learned sitting by my lonely self, on a lonely barstool, in a lonely bar for many lonely nights. You'd be surprised what a person will tell you after he's got a couple of drinks under his belt. It's true! Alcohol loosens the tongue. I used to think...and maybe I still do, that if the police want to find out the real truth, they should give their suspect about a half bottle of good scotch before they give him a lie detector test. People always seem to let everything out that they're trying to hide, when they're under the influence of a good whiskey. Shit! O.J. would've been put in the gas chamber or in prison for life if old Marsha Clark had poured half a bottle of gin down his gullet. Hell, he'd've probably confessed to killing his wife, her boyfriend, and maybe even that he'd fired the shot at 'JFK' from the grassy knoll."
"Fred, you're a born philosopher!"
"Fuck! I know it but no one else does."
"Just keep talking and the world will beat a path to your door."
"I'll be right here, waiting on all of them!"
"Want another drink, Fred?"
"Never refused a free one in all my life."
Again, Scott held up his hand at the bartender and he came over.
"Give my friend, Fred, another one on me."
"What about you? Aren't you gonna have one too?", his erstwhile drinking partner asked.
"No, Fred, I guess I should be getting home to face the music."
"You...you're not going to tell you-know-who about you-know-what, are you?"
"Not just yet! I want to enjoy my new bliss before I have to suffer the consequences."
"Can't say that I blame you! Hell, I've gotten to the point where, if someone looked at my pecker from the next stall while I was peeing, I'd probably drop to my knees and beg him to marry me! Get all the love you can while you can. I have no place to go except here...but YOU! Hell, you've got MORE than one place. I have to say that I envy you and I offer you my blessing."
"Thanks, Fred."
"Listen, if it doesn't work out with you and your new 'special someone', how about telling him to come to Andy Panda's and look for the guy sitting on the third stool from the left side of the bar."
"I might just do that, Fred!"
"Hey! Ask him if he's got a lonely friend, will you?"
"I don't think he has, but..."
"Shit! I wouldn't know what to do if he walked in here stark naked and offered me a free ticket to the Bahamas!"
"You're too hard on yourself, Fred!"
"Nope! Actually, I can't seem to get hard any more."
Scott laughed as he started to leave. He left Fred as Fred was saying, "Then there's always Sally...yuck! I'd rather join a monastery and fuck little choir boys!"
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Sally couldn't look at her mother all the way home from the Browne's. Whatever relationship she'd ever had with Marc was suddenly over...forever! She contemplated suicide for a moment. All she had to do was open the car door and throw herself out on the pavement. Even if it didn't kill her, there was always a good chance she would abort the baby.
"I hope you're proud of yourself, Missy!" Liz shouted at her. "You've not only ruined your life, but you've made it impossible for me OR your dad to hold our heads up among our friends ever again! I am so disappointed in you. How in the world could you ever let Marc Browne get you pregnant? When I was your age, I never thought about having sex before I was married...neither did your father! My God! When I think about Marc putting his nasty thing inside you, it gives me shivers! Did you honestly want to lose your virginity in such a horrid manner? HIGH? ON MARIJUANA?!"
"Mom, please! You're driving too fast! You're gonna kill both of us!" Sandy cried through her tears.
"It might be a good thing! Both of our lives are over anyway! Maybe I should go over to Kimball's Funeral Parlor and crash through the front door, then they wouldn't have to come and transport our bodies to be embalmed. Of course, if the car burst into flames, we could be cremated naturally and save your father the expense."
"Mom, are you gonna tell Dad when we get home?"
"Of course I am! Maybe he'll get angry enough to shoot you before he goes over to the Browne's to kill Marc."
"Mom, you don't really think he'll hurt Marc, do you?"
"Very frankly, I hope he shoots his testicles off first...then his penis...and that he has two bullets left--one for his heart and one for his peanut-sized brain!"
"Mom! PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT!"
"Didn't it occur to either of you to use a condom? I suppose not! You're too young to have intercourse, so why should you be old enough to even know what a condom is for? MY GOD! Didn't you get sick and want to throw up when he...he splashed all that nasty...that nasty...SEMEN into you?"
"No, Mom! I knew what his semen was like. I...I tasted it a couple of times before I let him actually do it to me."
"YOU DID WHAT?"
"I...I gave him a blowjob!"
"OH, JESUS!"
"I had to, Mom...after he gave me one..."
"I'm going to have to park the car on the side of the road! I'm feeling faint! On second thought...maybe I will let you have an abortion just so the surgeon will cut out all your female parts to be sure that this never happens again!"
"Mom, it's only a baby..."
"And YOU'RE only a baby!" A new thought occurred to her. "What if Marc has AIDS or something worse?"
"It was his first time, too, Mom."
"Well, he could've picked it off some toilet seat...you never know..."
"You don't really know much about sex, do you?"
"Sally, shut your mouth or I'm going to slap you...HARD!"
"You can't get AIDS from a toilet seat, Mom."
"That's how little you know, Missy!"
"No, that's how little YOU know, Mom!"
"Sally, don't say another word until we get home and see your father! DO you understand me?"
"Yes, maam," Sally replied, dejectedly, as Liz sped home sixty-five miles per hour (in a 30 mph zone).
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"So, what's going on?" Clint asked Buddy, once they were both in Buddy's room with the door closed.
"You heard, Clint."
"No, I mean about Marc and Toby?"
"In a nutshell, Marc got Sandy high on marijuana and then proceeded to get her pregnant. Mom walked in on Toby while he was jerking off...and then, I guess that's when Lulu called her and told her about Mr. Parsons and me."
"JESUS CHRIST ON A CRUTCH! You're family sounds like, 'All My Children', the soap opera!"
Buddy chuckled sadly, "It kinda does, doesn't it?"
"...and then your Mom fainted? Damn! I not surprised that she didn't have a stroke. My mom would have dropped dead in her tracks!"
"Well, the night is young..."
"How IS your Mom?"
"No one's seen her, not even Dad."
"Then she might BE dead..."
"It's possible, but I don't think so. I heard her crying when I came down the stairs to talk with Dad. It's more like she's learning to come to grips with the twenty-first century. She still thinks she's living way back in the 1950's...probably has an old poodle skirt hidden away in her closet."
"What's your dad's 'take' on all this?"
"I don't know. I feel really sorry for him. On top of Toby's, Marc's, and my dilemmas, Dad's got a deep personal problem himself...only I'm not suppose to tell anyone about it."
"Is his real estate business going down the tube?"
"Nope, something a lot worse than that!"
"Dr. Alford told him he's only got six months to live...is that it?"
"Stop asking because I'm not going to tell you. I have my own problem or problems to worry about...Lulu, my parents, Mr. Parsons...plus the fact that I'm gay. I don't know if I have the gumption to help Toby like I promised him."
"Buddy, you and I have been best friends forever. I've never kept any secret from you. You know more about me than anyone because I've always told you everything...even what Lulu and I do on a date."
"I know..."
"So I won't ask you anything else about your dad's problem, but...but will you tell me what happened between you and Mr. Parsons at the motel?"
"You want the PG version or the triple 'X'?"
"Triple 'X', of course. I want to hear EVERYTHING...blow by blow...if you'll pardon the expression!"
"I...I made love to him...and he made love to me."
"Holy shit! You mean you lost your cherry?"
"Yes and no."
"What does that mean?"
"It was the first time anyone has ever fucked me, but Scott, Mr. Parsons I mean, was not the first person I've fucked."
"Damn! Now I find out that you've kept TWO secrets from me. Who was it?"
"I...I don't know..."
"BULLSHIT! What do you mean you don't know?"
"I...I never saw his face..."
"You fucked him up his butt and never saw his face? Were you fuckin' blindfolded?"
"No...I went to The Foxhole."
"Christ! You fucked some unknown guy through a glory hole?"
"How did you know that there were glory holes at The Foxhole?"
Clint's face reddened. "Never mind how I know!"
"Clint? Have you been there, too?"
"Uh...maybe...once...twice..."
"Now who's keeping secrets from whom?"
"Shit! So I went there to get a couple of blowjobs when Lulu was on the rag."
"Are you honestly saying that you let another guy blow you?"
"So what?"
"Why didn't you come to me? I would've done it for you. I mean, we're best friends...we've jerked off together before."
"Yeah, I know...but if I'd let you do it...it would've been too personal and too involved. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Who knows where it might've led?"
"Yeah, who knows...?"
"Look, getting back to your problem...please tell me that you used a rubber when you fucked this guy at The Foxhole...?"
"I...I didn't have one. Hell, I didn't expect to fuck anyone when I went there..."
"Oh, Christ! You know you're gonna have to get checked for AIDS, don't you?...Oh, JESUS! Did you use a rubber with Mr. Parsons?"
"Well...no..."
"FUCK! DICKHEAD! WHERE ARE YOUR BRAINS? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING...OR WERE YOU THINKING?"
"I guess not..."
"Well, whether you want to or not, you've got to tell this to your dad!"
"I think Dad's had all he can take in one day. If I added this information to what he's already learned, not to mention his own problem, he'd...he'd probably kill himself and I wouldn't blame him if he did!"
"You're probably right. Shit! If your mom finds out you fucked someone without wearing a rubber, you'll have two suicides on your hands."
"Maybe four...Toby, if I don't talk to him...and Marc, if Mr. Sholler doesn't kill him first."
"You don't think that Sally's dad would actually..."
"It wouldn't surprise me one bit."
"God! And to think the biggest problem in my house is ants. That's all my mom and dad talk about is ants...which exterminator to use...who's the cheapest...which insecticide to buy at the supermarket? FUCKING ANTS! That's all I hear when I come home from school every day. Then I get up in the morning for breakfast and there's ants in the sugar bowl and it's like World War Three starting all over!"
"Clint? Do you think there's a chance that Lulu WILL call Mr. Parsons' wife?"
"I don't think so. She likes him too much. When we saw the two of you coming out of the motel, she didn't get angry at him...she was only mad at you."
"Why, do you suppose?"
"I guess when she thought you were having gay sex, she thought maybe you and I had done it too. At least that's what she was screaming when I left her."
"I wish she had been right..."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I wish you and I had had sex."
"Bull! We've been through all that! You know we never would have. I'm straight and you're...well, not so straight!"
"You just said that we never kept secrets from each other..."
"SO?"
"So, I...I've kept one from you for a long time."
"NOW WHAT?"
"For years, since I learned how to masturbate...well, every night, I've been thinking about you when I get off."
"You're talking crazy!"
"No, Clint, it's true. I've imagined you and me having sex in every possible way."
"Well, I'm glad you just 'imagined' it because it never would have happened in real life."
"Would you have at least tried it if I'd ever asked?"
"No way!"
"I dreamed about holding you naked in bed...kissing you...touching you... putting my mouth on you...even fu..."
"BUDDY! SHUT UP!"
"Does my saying all that out loud frighten you?"
"No, it makes me want to double up my fist and pop you one in the jaw!"
"You know...just talking to you about it, right now, has given me an erection."
"BUDDY! I'M WARNING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME!"
"What about you? Do you have an erection?"
"FUCK, NO!"
"Prove it..."
"WHAT?"
"Prove that you don't..."
"I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT...NOT TO YOU, NOT TO MYSELF, NOT TO ANYONE!"
Without a bit of hesitation, Buddy reached and groped Clint in his crotch and instantly, Clint pushed Buddy backward onto his bed.
"You liar! You're as hard as a rock!"
"SO WHAT?"
"It's like my dream coming true. You...here in my bedroom...alone...each trying to hide his erection. I've always hoped you'd have some feeling for me this way."
"I NEVER SAID I HAD A FEELING FOR YOU...except for being best friends."
"Yeah, but your erection is telling me something different..."
"CHRIST! I'M LEAVING! I thought I was doing you a favor by coming over here to be with you while you talked with your dad...but you're turning this into something that's really putting our friendship in danger."
"Then, as long as I'm baring my soul...let me say one more thing..."
"What?"
"Before I...I got...involved with Mr. Masters...I knew I was in love with you...NOT just best friends...but REAL love."
"If that's the last thing you have to say to me, then I'm leaving."
"Clint Walters! Before you go...maybe never to return or never to be best friends any more, can you stand there and tell me that you've never loved me?"
Clint stood silently for a couple of seconds before offering a reply. "No, Buddy, I can't say that I don't love you...because I do. It's not the kind of love you want from me...I could never feel true love toward any man, not even my best friend. I'll confess...a couple of times at night when I couldn't get off thinking about every girl I'd ever known, I...I occasionally would think about you and us getting off together...but that's as far as it went. I never thought about having sex with you...sex, the way you want it."
"But you'd let some stranger give you a blow job at The Foxhole!"
"I know. It does sound kinda stupid, doesn't it?"
"Especially, when you know how badly I wanted you."
"Yeah..."
"Clint? I still do. In spite of Mr. Walters and what happened at the motel, I want you."
"If I said 'yes' to you...don't you know how complicated things would get? I'd be fucked up, too."
"Even if you said, 'yes', just this one time? I mean, like you said, we might never be best friends after you leave."
"I don't think I meant 'never'."
"So?"
"Buddy, are you willing to risk all that we've meant to each other...all the things we've done and shared as best friends, just to let you go down on me one time?"
"I am if you are..."
"OH, FUCK IT! I couldn't steer my car with the huge boner I've got just now...I might as well...SHIT! Where do you want me? Standing? Sitting down? On the bed? In a chair? HOW?"
"On the bed, I guess. Maybe you'd better take off your jeans. They might get in the way..."
"Damn it all!"
Clint stalked across the room from the door to the bed and took off his jeans and shoes and lay on the bed.
"SATISFIED?"
"Not entirely...your boxers, too."
"FUCK!" Clint raised both legs and tugged to get his boxers off with both feet straight up in the air. Then he lay back down with his head on the pillow. Buddy walked toward him just as Clint sat up and rigidly took off his shirt, then his socks, rolling them into a ball and throwing them across the room. "There! I've got nothing left to take off...so whatever you're planning to do to me...do it and get it over with!"
Removing none of his clothes, Buddy got onto the bed, spreading Clint's knees so that he could get to his prize. It had taken years, but now Buddy had Clint the way he'd always imagined. He wasted no time with foreplay. Buddy moved onto Clint's organ and began pleasuring it as he'd often dreamed.
"OH, MY GOD!" Clint exclaimed, writhing in ecstasy while putting the extra pillow over his face.
If this was to be Buddy's one and only time to have sex with his best friend, Buddy wanted to make every moment count. He explored the insides of Clint's thighs, his scrotum, even the strip of flesh which led to Clint's anus, with his tongue. He was going to delay Clint's orgasm as long as possible. Clint was clutching the extra pillow with both hands, digging deeply into the covered down.
Buddy continued his journey by going upward on Clint's torso...past the treasure trail to his navel and both nipples. His tongue traveled farther until it reached the pillow which was hiding Clint's face. Buddy flicked his tongue at the base of Clint's Adam's apple like a car idling at a traffic light waiting for the 'go' sign. Slowly, Clint removed the pillow to see why Buddy's action had stopped and Buddy began to lick under Clint's chin.
When Clint spoke, his voice was much quieter and subdued as if he were trying to catch his breath. "What now? You want to kiss me?"
"Very much so..."
"Then, do it. I couldn't stop you now if I wanted to..."
Gently, Buddy put his mouth over Clint's and bravely tried to separate Clint's lips with his tongue. Buddy was astonished when Clint opened his mouth so easily to receive Buddy's tongue. Suddenly, without a word spoken, Buddy was no longer kissing Clint, but instead, Clint was kissing Buddy, wrapping his arms around Buddy's back and pulling him tightly toward his chest.
"Oh, God, I love you, Clint!"
"Shut up and let me kiss you..." Clint replied.
Buddy's second shocker was when he felt Clint's hand trying to grope him though his trousers. The kissing and petting continued as Clint unzipped Buddy's fly until he had his hand on Buddy's flesh. This was more than Buddy could've ever expected, dreamed, or hoped for. Clint's hand grasped around Buddy's organ and he slowly began to masturbate his friend.
"Wait!" Buddy said as he sat up on the side of the bed to remove all his clothes.
"Hurry, before I get out of the mood," Clint said to him.
Once he was naked, Buddy crawled back on top of Clint with their bodies touching head to toe and Buddy began to kiss Clint again. Both of them began to grind their crotches into each other's. Soon they began to sweat and their chests made a squeaking noise as they rubbed against the other's.
"Clint?"
"What?"
"Do you love me just a little?"
"You know goddamned well I do...and always have."
"The same way I've loved you?"
"Yes, asshole, now shut up and show me what you want me to do to you!"
Buddy slowly turned until he was into a '69' position and they both engulfed the other's shaft simultaneously...just as the bedroom door opened.
"Son...I...oops!" Ted said from the doorway. Behind him was Toby whose eyes almost popped when he saw Buddy and Clint naked on the bed. "Sorry, I'll talk with you later... Come on, Toby, I'll put you to bed." Ted eased the door shut, quietly, but quickly.
Buddy and Clint had popped up their heads like two hungry tortoises from opposite ends of the bed when they heard Ted's voice.
Clint plopped backward onto a pillow, raising his forearm to hide his face and exclaimed, "SHIT! Now I'm REALLY fucked!"
"No, you aren't! Dad won't think anything about what he just saw. He has a boyfriend! Oh, shit! I wasn't suppose to say that!"
After a few moments of letting Buddy's last remark sink in, Clint began to laugh out loud, almost uncontrollably. "I just hope my mom and dad solve their ant problem before I get home!" Clint continued to laugh.
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(To be continued in "IF LOVE WERE ALL-7".)