If It Weren't for the Two of Us Chapter 36
Thank you for continuing with the story. Trent's story overlaps with Lance's in his book: Hi, I'm Lance, as you probably are aware.
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Timothy
36
August 23
I haven't written anything in the journal in weeks. My play is done. Mike and I looked it over before he had to report to school. I'm proud of it. He was too. He sheepishly asked if he could make a couple suggestions. I trusted him completely, of course. The man taught me, so I know his educational expertise. The changes were simple, but they did help the flow in a couple of places.
Ethan sadly picked up Sascha.
Since the play is done, I haven't had this journal out as much.
Mike did leave for a few days. He went on his own to a simple town called Hope. It had artists and antiques. He found a quaint bed-and-breakfast. We called each other all the time. He said he was having a good time but seriously missed me. Heaven knows I missed him.
While Mike was gone, I helped Zach with a community aid thing with his church. It felt rewarding. I'm glad I did it. He said he hasn't heard from Lance. I wish Lance knew that Zach really did care for him.
I am sporting facial hair now. With Mike away, I thought I'd try it. It looks okay. The moustache works better than the beard. The jury is out. Scott likes it. Lance hates it. Mike came back and said he liked it, but I'm not sure if he was just being nice. Evan said it looked fine. We'll see. I do think it makes me look older. Well, except for a spot in the beard that just doesn't want to fill in evenly.
I still haven't seen Dad. He hasn't talked or texted me. So be it.
Once Mike gets school under way, Lance wants us to get together so that we can get to know Jakob. It seems to be going okay, but I'm still concerned.
The station has added to my writing duties, which was a compliment in a way. Not in a financial way, but... The hosts have me comment almost every day. I just love it. I'm not a part of the show by any means, but I'm on the air quite a bit.
We're six weeks from Matt and Ali's wedding. I've been in communication a lot more with them. Ali is over the moon. Matt seems more along for the ride.
I'm looking forward to the fall. This will be my first holiday season being in love. I'm really looking forward to that.
"Are you able to come over for dinner on Thursday?" Lance asked. "It's my birthday, and I'm having a few people over. You will be able to meet Jakob."
"It is? Then absolutely. Can I assume Mike can come?"
"Yes, yes, yes. Of course." Lance added, "No gifts; just come. 7:30."
"I can't wait to meet your new boyfriend."
"Hmm," Lance said. "I'm not sure if I will ever get used to saying and hearing that, but ... it's nice to be able to. Trent, I tell ya, I lived in denial for so long. It is nice just not to have to tense up questioning if I am gay. Once you accept it, it's like breathing for the first time."
"Oh, I can so relate. I was there at one point. It was just like that. Oxygen!"
"Love you, buddy. See you in a few days."
He had grown so much. It is sad that it took a car wreck to fix his life, but ... no alcohol, coming out, finding a guy — it was all probably for the best.
—
As summer wound down, it was a little more challenging to get together with friends. Mike had traveled and then had to get ready for school. It was nice just to have dinner with Lance and Evan. I was very curious as to what I would think of Jakob. I didn't want to come off as a judge-y friend. I'm happy he has found someone. Deep down I was afraid I wouldn't like Jakob or at least think he wasn't right for Lance. Two alcoholics. It scared me. It probably will for a while.
Mike came to my house first and had the gift ready. I signed the card. We drove together.
Lance answered the door. As we went in, we thought the place looked great.
"What have you done with the place? I can't tell why, but it looks really good," Mike said.
"Jakob's touch," Lance answered. "Evan and I came home, and Jakob had cleaned, straightened and made simple changes in the arrangement. You should have seen what he did to my bedroom."
"That lost cause?" I joked.
"I know! He has a flair for it."
Evan and Jakob were in the kitchen. Lance took Mike and me in to meet him. He introduced us. Jakob informed us that his name was spelled with a K.
"So, you're the one who got away?" Jakob said to me.
"Wha -?"
"Jakob!" Lance said.
"I'm sorry," Jakob said. "I've heard a lot about you. Lance speaks extremely highly of you."
Okay, that was odd but polite at the end. I'm not sure if I am going to like this Jakob. He wasn't what I was expecting. I figured Lance would attract some stud. I mean — with that dick. Jakob seemed like a simple average person. Gosh. Saying those words in my mind suddenly made me wonder why that sounded like a flaw? Lance seemed taken with him. As his best friend, I would be supportive.
Evan and Jakob brought the food to the table. Lance brought out glasses with tea.
"If you guys would like some wine, Evan has a bottle in his room that we can open."
I was thrown. "Um. That's nice of you, but we're just fine with tea."
I never wanted to see Lance and alcohol in the same room. Obviously, that couldn't last forever. I realized there was a strength in him being able to say that. Good for him for being tough. But no need.
"Mike, how is the school year starting?" Lance asked.
"Oh. Um." He went silent. "I think I have some good kids in the mix. I've only had them a week."
That was an exceptionally awkward answer. What was that about?
"So, Jakob, how did you and Lance meet?" Mike said, trying to change the subject.
"Us? We've actually met in AA. A few of us go out after some meetings for coffee. Well, Lance leans toward milkshakes. But we got to know each other that way. And I can't figure out for the life of me why, but he sees something worthwhile in me."
The two leaned in for a kiss.
"He's good for me," Lance said.
"How sweet," Mike said.
"I went with Lance to his first meeting," I said. "I think I remember you there. Forgive me if this is too personal, Jakob, but I seem to recall you were kicked out of your house at 17. Is that right?"
"Sadly, yes. It ... was not good. If I was gay, I was not welcome."
"Like it's something you can just turn off," I said. "I'm not doing well with my father right now, either. But your situation was really harsh, and at such a young age. I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
I felt like I had brought the conversation down.
"Gentlemen, everything is delicious," Mike said, rescuing me.
"Thanks," the three of them said in unison.
"Evan did most of the cooking," Lance said.
"It's your birthday. Of course."
"Like that means anything. He cooks all the time."
"Apparently he's cooks healthy, because you look great, Lance," Mike said.
"I love you more every day, Michael Terry," Lance said with a smile.
"I was trying to lose that 20 pounds, and I finally got that last pound to drop off. But I do give credit to Evan. I'm eating out less, and certainly junk food isn't around the house. Between no alcohol and the drop in weight, I feel so much better. I've also been doing better at work. They threw me a ... well, it was just cake ... but during the festivities today, Jason pulled me aside and told me I was doing a super job. He even hit on me."
"Wait, what?" Jakob asked.
"Don't worry. He was half kidding, and I shot it down."
"Jason is indeed something," Mike said.
"Oh yeah, you remember," Lance said.
"But what a house!"
Once dinner was over, Evan pulled out a key lime pie. After it was sliced, Jakob brought everyone a piece. A birthday candle was placed in Lance's slice.
"My favorite!" Lance said.
We sang. Mike and I harmonized beautifully. Jakob even remarked that our voices were beautiful.
"We've sang together a few times. It started when we drove to see his parents last month. Oh! We have something for you in the car," I said, hopping up.
I darted to the car and got the small box.
"What's this? I said no gifts!"
"Just open it. It's very simple," I said.
Lance ripped off the paper. Popping the tape on the box, he opened up the tissue and pulled out a T-shirt. It had a rainbow flag and said PRIDE.
"We thought you needed one. Now that you are out, it seemed essential. Mike and I have matching ones, so when we go out, we can be adorable together."
I suddenly wondered if that sounded like leaving Jakob out. That was never our intention. Hopefully, he didn't think so.
"Aw. Sweet guys. I love it. Now I really feel `out.' It's perfect."
He opened the card.
"We thought about funny or dirty, but went with this," I said. I knew it was mushy.
He smiled at both of us. "I'm lucky to have friends like you, too."
He gave both of us a hug and then went back to finish his pie.
Shortly thereafter I helped clear the table. Evan, Jakob and I rinsed plates and loaded the dishwasher. We talked a moment. I noticed out in the living room Mike and Lance had pulled to the side. I wasn't sure what they were talking about. Lance gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. I had a hunch. Mike gave him a simple kiss on the lips.
It wasn't long before we prepared to head out.
"It was nice meeting you, Jakob," I said.
He agreed. I'm not sure what each of us thought of each other. He seemed nice enough, but I seemed hesitant to be completely convinced. We said goodnight and walked to the driveway.
"What did you think of Jakob?" I asked Mike in the car.
"He seems nice enough. He and Lance click, so I'm glad Lance has someone to ease him out of the closet."
That should have been my job as his best friend, but with the two of us, the sexual tension was too much. But I couldn't help but feeling a little bit replaced.
"And you?" Mike asked.
"I don't know. I guess he's okay. I always pictured Lance having the most beautiful guy in town."
"Too late. I already took him," Mike said, grabbing my hand.
"You're sweet. But Jakob seems so ... just average. And that shouldn't be my opinion. I mean, how shallow to just judge people on their appearance? But is that the natural default? You're right, Jakob is nice enough. Lance likes him; I should too."
"You may be a bit jealous, too."
"Jealous? I'm with you, Mike."
"I know, babe. But you two are so close. You truly define best friends. I almost get jealous of you two at times. When someone intervenes in a friendship, it's natural to feel a little pushed out."
"Hm. Maybe. I just want Lance to be happy. I'm just cautious."
"He clearly sees something in Jakob. Sounds like he is finding the greater beauty on the inside."
"You say that so well, hon'. It's like you're a teacher or something."
We chuckled.
At bedtime, we snuggled closely. An evening thick with male love was a nice aphrodisiac.
"Can I come inside you tonight?" he whispered in my ear as we turned out the lights.
"I'd love it, baby."
The moon was bright, so it offered the perfect romantic lighting. We could slightly see each other's bodies in the darkness. I chose the first position as Mike lied on his back. After lubing his stiff rod, I lowered myself to impale my hole onto it. As he entered me, we both moaned. I slid up and down his erection for several minutes. Neither of us spoke words, just sounds of accepted pleasure. I arched my back and rode my lover, relishing the sensation of his flesh moving inside me. Any distracting emotions I had been feeling during the evening dissipated as I felt Mike's throbbing cock fill me.
Mike leaned up and grabbed my body with his hands. We strained to make our lips meet. We sat. We kissed with his pole firmly in me, but we stopped fucking and concentrated on kissing.
"I love you, Trent," he moaned into his kisses.
"Me too, baby. Me too. I want to feel you on top of me."
We changed positions. I lied on my stomach. Mike moved up behind me. His dick found my tunnel again and charged inward. He groaned into my ear.
"Yeah. Fuck me. I love feeling your body on top of mine, Michael."
Mike locked his arms underneath mine. He let every ounce of his beautiful body lay on top of mine. I loved the feeling of being surrounded by his love. He pushed his cock into me in rhythmic thrusts. I loved hearing him groan with each push. One of his hands moved under me and gripped my chest as he further fucked my ass. I wanted this to last forever, but I knew with his rigorous pounding in this position, Mike would erupt inside me soon. I moaned as he pushed, and we were audibly in sync. As his volume escalated, I heard my mouth almost whimper while he pleasured his flesh inside my body.
He pulled out his cock. "I don't want to come just yet."
I rolled to my side, and he moved forward; we kissed for several minutes. He grabbed my dick as we kissed. He groped. I moaned. We kissed. He groped some more. I moaned louder. We kissed some more.
"I want you back in me, Michael," he pleaded into my lips.
We resumed our position. He recoated his hardened meat with glistening lube. I awaited him to enter my ass again. It was glorious when he did. My hole was filled with him, with his passion. He slightly gyrated his engorged erection inside me before he began his pumping rhythm. We groaned in intense pleasure as his drilling continued. His throbbing flesh glided against my internal skin.
Mike's arm wrapped around my neck as if we were wrestlers. He grunted in ecstasy into my ear. I echoed it with greater volume.
"Fuck me, Michael. Fuuuuck me. FUCK me."
"J.T.! Oh yeah. J.T.!!!!"
I could tell by the way his cock was shoved and paused in a new rhythm that my passage was being lined with his lustful liquid. He muffled his groaning at my ear, but I could sense each spurt of his cum by his oral growl at my cheek. Both hands moved under my chest, and he pressed us together tightly. With one final gasp, his tight squeeze on me relaxed. His body went limp, crushing me with his weight, which I welcomed.
"Ooooooohhh, J.T. Making love to you never gets old. I love you so much," he whispered to me.
"I want you to stay inside me," I replied.
We rolled on our sides. I grabbed my dick and pulled and stroked and grabbed. Mike reached around and caressed my balls as he continued to thrust his cock in me, trying to maintain the rigidity of his manhood.
It only took a few minutes of our combined movement and stimulation to get me close. I called out loudly in my pleasure. Mike pushed his crotch to help bring me to the edge.
"Yeah, Michael. Fuck me more. Fuck me more."
We squirmed in our moaning.
"Come for me, beautiful," he whispered to me.
"I'm coming," I moaned. "Yeaaaahhh."
My seed spilled onto the towel across the bed. The first stream overshot the towel. The rest rushed from my dick in timed spasms. Mike's breathing matched mine, and it took a moment for normalcy to be restored.
"We should probably do the sheets tomorrow," I joked.
—
It was Friday and I was the first to go to work. I planned on returning in the evening and then spend the weekend at his house.
Mike and I settled into a routine of sex about twice a week. It was still intense when we enjoyed it, but just sharing a bed was equally satisfying. I loved sleeping next to him.
—
Mike and I ran before showering together. We got dressed for an afternoon of Saturday shopping. I was hoping to get a couple new things for the apartment. Paychecks helped — finally. As we finished a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, I remembered something from the evening at Lance's apartment.
"When Lance asked how school was going, your answer seemed odd."
"Oh." Mike didn't say anything after that.
"Is something wrong at work?"
"Not anymore."
"Honey, what happened?"
Mike looked away. "I am hesitant to tell you. I don't think it's a good idea."
I held his hand. "Tell me." I hoped I sounded appropriately concerned.
"It won't be easy to hear."
"We're in this together, honey. You can tell me."
"An ... accusation ... was made against me. I was called into my administrator's office during in-service week to discuss it."
"What kind of accusation?"
"Sexual. It was told that I tried to turn students gay."
"What!!?? That doesn't even make sense."
"It was your dad, Trent. He brought the accusation to the school."
"WHAAATT!!?"
"I convinced them that ..."
"WHAAAAAATT!!?"
"Trent, it's settled ..."
"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!! That asshole!!"
"Babe, ..."
"How can you even look at me knowing that my father tried to fuck up your job. OH MY GOD!!"
I jumped up and went into the bedroom to get my keys and wallet. I rushed to the front door.
"Trent! Where are you going?"
"Where the hell do you think? He's not getting away with this."
I'm sure he probably would have tried to stop me, but Mike didn't have the chance. I was out the door.
As I made the 45-minute drive to Toomersville, I was seething. How could he do that? How!!?
I pulled into the driveway, slammed my car door shut and stormed into the living room. Dad was in the recliner reading the newspaper. I startled him.
"Trent ..." he gasped.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!!?? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND??"
"Son, I was only thinking about you."
"Thinking about ME!!?? By HURTING the most important man in my LIFE??! The man I love! How hateful have you become? How much darkness is in your soul that you try to ruin the career of an incredible teacher — and the person that means the most to me!? You are hateful, Joe Kyriazi!! You are a HATEFUL man!"
Mom burst into the room. "What's going on? Trent! What's all this shouting?"
"Does she know!? Does she know how cruel you are?" I screamed, pointing at Mom.
"Trent, think about it," my father said. "You started looking at those pictures the year you had his class. Don't you think he has something to do with changing the way you are? It can't be a coincidence. There has to be a reason that changed you. How many other kids could he have done this to?"
"Have you lost your mind!? That doesn't even make sense. You couldn't accept that it was just your own DNA when I was born, huh?"
"Son, we've always ..."
"I hated living in this house because of the things you said to me. His class was the only thing that gave me hope. He didn't do anything to me. He didn't change me! He's just a good teacher. We didn't even have any talks like this until we were both adults. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS DAD?? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HOW COULD YOU HURT ANOTHER PERSON'S CAREER THAT WAY?'
"Trent, your father is ..." Mom started.
"An ass!!" I stared him right in the eyes. "You're an asshole. I'm embarrassed to be your son. You are the most hateful man I know! We are done, Dad. You and I — WE'RE DONE!!"
I started back to the door. "I never want to see you ever again."
"Trent, please wait," Mom said.
"Mom, I'm sorry you are trapped in the middle of this." I looked directly into her face. "But I feel sorrier that you're married to him."
I slammed the front door behind me and got into my car. As I backed up out of the driveway, I saw Mom peer through the front window and turn back to my father.
As I got out on the highway, my blood was surging. It was a wonder it didn't burst from my veins. My eyes welled with tears. My nose ran.
After blowing my nose, I had to call Lance. As I screamed into the phone, I knew he didn't know what to say, but he let me talk, let me vent, let me scream.
I drove to his place instead of Mike's. When he opened the door, he said nothing. He just took me in his arms and held me. There were absolutely no words that could make this better.
My phone buzzed. It was Mike.
"Babe, tell me you are okay."
"I need to think. I'll be back this afternoon. I'm so sorry, Mike. I am so sorry."
I tossed the phone on the couch cushion. I buried my face into Lance's chest.
"Why would my father do this to me, to Mike, to us. My God! I hate him so much. I fucking hate him."
He held me tighter. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed.
"Trent. I don't know what to say. I can't begin to think of the right words. But I do know that Mike and you love each other. No matter what happens with your dad, you two will be okay. He is there for you. Just take this one day at a time."
"Fuck. How can Mike even look at me. My family almost ruined his career."
I eventually calmed down somewhat. Lance and I grabbed a light lunch. We went back to the old college bistro. He grabbed a wrap; I got a burger. I only ate half of it. I found it difficult to fully breathe for a couple of hours. Eventually, I knew I had to head back to Mike's place.
"Call me if you need me. Love you, Trent."
"Thanks for being here for me. You always have my back. Love you, Lance." I kissed him on the cheek.
"Always," he whispered.
I dreaded walking into Mike's house. I couldn't even fathom what to even say to the man I love. He looked me in the face as I quietly walked in. He opened his arms, and I walked into them. He held me. The two of us stood quietly. I began sobbing. I wasn't sure why. Was it because I had now cut off my family? Was it because the man I love was hurt? Would he feel different about me? Mike held me closer. The dam burst and the tears flowed for several minutes.
After regaining my composure, we sat on his back deck. I looked at the flowers we had planted.
"How can you even look at me?"
"Trent, you and your father are two different people. I deeply love you. That won't change. Okay?"
I nodded.
"Yes. I was hurt. I was thrown for a loop. I didn't expect to have to defend myself against something that never happened, but ... I did. My administrator stood with me."
"Thank God," I softly said. "What was he thinking??!!"
"I take it you went to see him?"
"It lasted about five minutes."
"What did you say?"
"Well, I screamed more than said probably, but I told him I never wanted to see him again. Ever. We're done."
"Nothing's forever, babe."
"Maybe. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for this. I don't even want to see his face."
"What about your mom?"
"God. I'm sure she feels trapped. She's married to him, but also knows the wonderful man you are. I can't imagine what her life is like at the moment. But, you know, I'm not going to take that on. That's her issue. She'll have to figure out how to handle that burden."
We sat quietly.
"Thank you for not hating me," I eventually said.
"I love you, Trent. I always will."
"I'm not really in a shopping mood. Are you okay if I just head home for the day?"
"I understand."
Ten minutes later he gave me a firm hug at the door. We softly kissed, and I headed home.
August 29
I needed to write. I needed to express outrage. I don't care if I ever see my father again. I feel so betrayed, so ... stabbed in the back. What a horrible man. He's an asshole.
This had to hurt Mike so much. How did he hold this inside and not tell me? He had to be infuriated. How is his heart big enough to forgive me? That's not the right word. He isn't forgiving my father. At least he is able to separate the two of us even though we're in the same family.
I've felt disappointment and anger at my father before, but this is just rage. Sheer rage. I hate him for fucking with our lives.
—
After being miserable the rest of the weekend, I talked to my station managers and asked if I could duck out when we didn't have a live-anchor show. They were agreeable, sensing it was important.
I drove to Jerome Hawkins and headed into the school office. Within 10 minutes I was in the principal's office.
"Thank you for seeing me," I said. "I left work because your office staff said you had no appointments to leave the building this afternoon."
"Well, Mr. Kyriazi, when I saw your name on the message, I dropped everything. How would you like to start?"
"I cannot begin to think of what my father said, what he insinuated, but I wanted you to know — completely and fully know — that it is all untrue. Michael Terry is an outstanding teacher and a wonderful man. The students love him. He cares about his classes. He never, ever did anything that could remotely be construed as ... inappropriate. It is important to me for you to know that."
"Well, first, thank you for seeing me. Had I felt seriously about your father's accusation, I would have asked for you to come in. Like you, I think Mr. Terry is a true asset to our school. I rarely, if ever, get any type of criticism about him. But I hear a lot of favorable remarks from parents and students."
"Good," I said.
"You do understand that when it comes to student safety that I have to take any report seriously."
"I suppose that's true."
"I asked your father what proof he had of any of the alleged sexual influences Professor Terry had made against you."
"There were none! Ever."
"And your father didn't offer any proof." Mrs. Keeter shifted in her chair. "He said it was the obvious reason that you are gay."
I rolled my eyes.
"Mr. Kyriazi, may I ..."
"Please, call me Trent."
"Okay. Trent, might I politely ask if you are gay?"
"Yes. I accepted it this spring and came out this year."
"And are you currently involved with Mr. Terry?"
This was awkward. To say "yes" sounded bad.
"Following my college graduation, Mike and I did establish a relationship. But please know, I came to him. He barely recalled me from all those years back other than being a good student. It was me that went to him. Please, please know that. I just wanted someone to talk to."
"And why him?"
"Dad suspected my sexuality in high school. I was miserable. I hated being at home. School was just okay, but Mi ... Professor Terry was the bright spot to my day. I felt like he cared. He made every student feel that way. He believed in us. I felt one person believed in me. I was too terrified to come out to anyone at school. I shouldn't have been; my friends have been pretty great. But ... coming out is a very scary thing, Mrs. Keeter. Our university basketball team used the gym here on certain days, so I thought I'd talk to him. I suppose I knew he wouldn't judge me. He wasn't one of my peers. I had less to lose. He always seemed smart. But he was just nice."
"And gay ...?"
"I actually didn't know that at the time. I thought he could be. Maybe that is why I was willing to take the risk. But he never gave any indication that he was. His professionalism during my years in high school was impeccable."
She jotted something on a notepad.
"But, yes, we are seeing each other now. And he is a wonderful man. We know our age difference seems a bit unusual, but we are two adults who find the best in each other."
"Well. Okay. I thank you for coming to see me," she said. "It confirms my instincts were correct."
"I am SO sorry my father has been a jerk. He just couldn't accept the fact he had a gay son. He was looking for anything or anyone to blame. I can't even look at him anymore. But I am very, very sorry that he brought these untrue allegations upon Mike. It's horrible."
She held out her hand to shake mine.
"Thank you for coming."
"Thank you for seeing me."
As truthful as my words were, I knew there was that gym shower episode. Thankfully, Dad knew nothing of it. That would have been a hand grenade.
As I left, I debated as to whether I should tell Mike I had visited her. I wouldn't hide it, but would I offer the information? I wondered if she would mention it.
* * * *
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