If It Weren't For the Two of Us Chapter 14
I am expecting backlash on this chapter. No matter your thoughts, stay with me. I hope you share what you feel.
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14
Today we received our grades for the term papers. I received a 2.6.
"That's a C+!" I silently muttered to myself. Passing, but considering how much that paper weighed me down, that was totally disappointing. I found it hard to concentrate the rest of the class. Fuck.
"Trent, can I see you a moment?" Professor Grainger said as students were leaving.
I didn't feel like it. I was bummed, but I was prepared to suffer through any criticism he might have. The professor sat at his desk. I stood in front of it.
"Trent, I noticed your expression as you saw your score. Please know it was a good paper."
"A 2.6," I softly said.
"Easily a passing score, I still expect you to finish the course above a 3.0, provided you are ready for the final. I just wanted to say that as good as the paper was, I was expecting more. I've come to find you as an extraordinary student. This is the second course in which I've taught you. I just don't think you reached your potential on this one. I don't know. Has something distracted you?
"I've just had three major projects or papers — senior level — and it's been a lot, plus wrapping up the basketball season. And ... I was raped."
"Dear God!" Professor Grainger said, standing up, whirling around and sitting back down to listen to me. "Here on campus? Are you okay? Were the police called?"
"I'd ... I'd rather not discuss it. I'm seeing Dr. Owens each Friday. I'm okay."
"I am SO sorry. That's ... I can't imagine. That's horrible to go through. If it was on campus, please make sure the University is on top of it."
"It wasn't."
"Under those circumstances, no wonder you were a bit off from your game. It was a solid paper. I can raise your score to a 2.9."
"You don't have to. If you feel this is what it deserved, I will accept your score."
"Please know I am deeply troubled by what happened to you. Again, you are an outstanding student. When you have a chance, read the notes I made at the end. I think it will help you in the future. I can see you having a great career in public relations, broadcasting, communication ... the sky is the limit. Please feel free to use me as a resource."
"Thanks, Professor Grainger."
I left feeling disillusioned. It was a good paper. I hated that he put me on a different scale than others. That didn't seem fair. But it wasn't fair that I just threw in the rape card either. I didn't really know if it was rape. Everyone else called it that. That was a cheap comment on my part.
That whole class threw my afternoon into a funk.
I threw my books onto the couch. Grabbing a Diet Coke, I slumped down. I didn't feel like watching anything, doing anything. I didn't even feel hungry.
After wallowing in my gloomy pity for an hour, a text came in. It was Lance.
"Depressed."
"Funny. Me too." I replied.
"Want to come over? I have Diet Coke for you."
"Absolutely."
It was 5:15 when I got there. Upon entering, Lance put ice in two glasses. He poured Diet Coke into one for me and iced tea in the other for him. He placed both of them on the coffee table.
"Why are you bummed?" he asked me.
I told him the saga of the paper and the score depressing me. I probably embellished all the hours I put into doing it and how I felt it was a quality paper. We debated whether it was fair for an instructor to grade it on the level he felt we were capable of instead of equally with the rest of the students in the class. We examined it from both sides. I'm not sure if I felt better, but it was somewhat therapeutic to talk it out.
"So why are you down?" I asked.
"Maria told me she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore last night," he said.
"Oh," I said.
"Yeah. She said I was moving too fast and that she wasn't the type to sleep around."
"Ah. Um, surely you aren't faulting her for having morals, are you?"
"No. But ... no. Damn it. But isn't that why girls go out with me? They want to see it?"
"Can't someone date you because they like you? You're more than a penis you know. How strong do you come on?"
"I'm pathetic. I don't know what I want. But when someone has sex with me, I feel like they want me."
"Hey. Hey. A relationship doesn't happen on one date. You'll find someone. The right person is going to want to be with you."
"You don't," he said sharply.
"That's not fair. I'm in love with someone. And besides, you are still in denial that you're gay."
"I'm ... figuring things out."
"What have you figured so far?" I shot back.
"That nobody wants me."
"Stop. You're a catch, Lance. At least, when you let people see inside you. You are way more than what you show people. There's more to you than ... what's on the outside. Let people see the real you."
"You only get me because we jack off together."
I laughed. "Not exactly. And we haven't done that very often."
"Why do you get me then?"
"You let me see your heart. When I needed a friend, you were there. You confide in me. You don't judge me. You listen. We're open with each other. I feel comfortable with you. I can't go along with the whole friends with benefits thing, but ... if that's something you need, work that out with someone else. Stacy likes it. Just screw around with her."
"Gawwwwd!!" he screamed.
"What?"
"That's just it. After Maria, I called her this afternoon to see if she'd like to go somewhere and ... you know."
"She said she would need a complete date, and apparently that was all I was interested in. Stacy shot me down. That's why I called you. I'm the boy no one wants."
"Then ... be the man that people do want."
"How ..." Lance started.
The door opened and Zach walked in. We said hello.
"We will probably get dinner, Zach. Would you like to join us?'
"Oh, that's kind Trent, but I can't stay. The storm the other night destroyed a few houses a couple blocks from here. Well, major damage let's say. Our church group is helping to repair and rebuild them on Saturday, but we need to cart off a lot of debris. Our youth leader managed to get a truck tonight, so several of us are going over to help clean up and clear away a lot of the damaged material. I'll be out late, Lance."
"Wow," we both replied.
"That's so nice of you, Zach," Lance said.
"You're a good man, sir," I echoed.
"Thanks guys. I just have to change clothes and put on appropriate boots."
Shortly, Zach was off. It was now 6 o'clock and we agreed we were hungry.
"I still need to use those caf' credits, but I'm bored with that. Pizza?" Lance asked.
"Always up for `Za. Delivery or eat there?" I responded.
"Let's go. We always do Parma Sean's. Want something different?"
"As long as it isn't too expensive. I'm stretching my funds as far as I can these last two weeks."
Twenty minutes later we pulled up to Roman Column. There were several empty tables. The place had one size of pizzas intended for one or two people. We each agreed we needed our own. To order, we checked off the toppings we wanted on a list, and they hung it on a string. From there, it was custom made for each customer and cooked in minutes in a crazy hot oven we could see at the back. Eight minutes later, our number was called, and piping pizzas were being carried by Lance back to the table. The restaurant served beer, but Lance just ordered water. Good. Was that a price saving move or just a smart move? I hoped for the latter.
The pizza was fantastic. We both agreed we wish we would have discovered the newer place earlier in the semester.
We briefly discussed Zach's kind work. Lance said some very nice things about him, despite the two of them being extremely different personalities.
"What about Cole?"
"He's nice too. He's working again tonight. I've always been impressed how he manages his time. He balances work, study and dating flawlessly."
"Girlfriend or girlfriends?"
"In the year we've roomed together, he dated someone the first of the year for a couple months. They broke up and he met someone new at a Halloween party. They've been rather serious for three or four months."
"It's hard enough for us to jack off with roommates," I said stuffing pizza in my mouth. Garbled with a mouth full, I added, "Where do they do it? How do they find time?"
Lance didn't say anything.
"When you've slept with women, where do you do it?" I asked.
"Different places. Occasionally they make an effort to have the apartment to themselves. Once I knew Cole and Zach were out for the night and I had Stacy over. I even did it with Lori in a car."
"That sounds easier for guys to do it," I said blankly.
"Depends what you do."
"And how you do it. I hated it in Detrell's car," I said.
"I'm sorry, Trent. Change the subject??"
"No. I brought it up. I can speak of ... it ... as long as I don't dwell on it. It was just really uncomfortable how we did it. It hurt too."
"That totally bites. That asshole."
Circling back, I said, "So ... Cole ... think he's done it in your room?"
"I know he has."
"How?"
"One Sunday, Zach was at church, and I was returning from a visit home. I got there in the afternoon. I accidentally dropped something in the trash and when I went to dig it out, I could tell there was a used condom in a tissue."
"Hm."
Lance leaned forward. "He has to get it fairly frequently. One of his drawers was open one day and I could see a box of condoms in there. A box!"
I smiled.
"I investigated one day," he continued, "and he has lube and a sex toy in there too."
"Dude! Respect some privacy!"
"I know. I felt bad for looking. I dropped it after that. I was curious, but ... then after I saw it ... I wasn't."
"You're terrible."
"Didn't I say that earlier tonight?"
We finished the pizza, and each of us got a refill. We wanted to chill a bit before heading back. Lance's demeanor seemed more up.
"Feeling better?" I asked.
"Yeah. You?"
"I do. I like our time together. I don't have to hide anything from you. We have a unique friendship," I said.
"Whiiiiiich could go further ... just sayin'." He let the side of his hand rub up against mine.
"Insatiable flirt," I fired back.
He looked around to see who was close. No one was near enough to bother with us.
"Just thinking about us fooling around has me hard as a rock right now," he softly said.
"Why do you say things like that!!"
"You know you like it when I do," he smiled.
"To a point. To a point."
If anyone else had said such things, I would have been appalled, but Lance could get away with it. We had developed a very unique friendship. I loved our brutal honesty, even if I thought Lance had several shallow tendencies.
"Who was the first guy you ever saw hard," he randomly asked out of the blue.
"In person?"
"Yeah, of course."
I thought. No one came immediately to mine, but there obviously had to be someone.
"High school. Senior year. Gym class. A guy named Nate. At the end of class, some guys would shower, but many were too conscientious. Too shy. Nate often did. I am kind of surprised. He wasn't hung or anything. I think he just liked being naked around others. I noticed him coming out of the shower looking ... longer. By the time he dried off with his towel, it was bolting from his crotch."
Lance's eyes widened. "He didn't mind that people could see it?"
"I don't think so. The locker room just got very quiet."
We both smiled at the simple story.
"By the way, you're a total prick," I said. "I have a raging hard-on right now."
"Wish I could see it," Lance said.
"If we don't start talking about grandparents or dung beetles or calculus, it's going to be challenging to walk out of here without it being awkward."
He laughed. And agreed.
We switched the conversation to his post-graduation plans. His apartment idea sounded good. He was still expecting his cousin to arrive by July 4. Lance's degree was in management. Jason had offered him a starting position at one of the gyms.
"It's something to get me started," Lance said.
"Why aren't you seeing Jason anymore?"
"I wasn't really seeing Jason. He just wanted my dick. He couldn't fit it in his ass, but he loved playing with it. After seeing me a couple times, he was on to the next cock he could find."
"Calculus, grandparents, bugs..." I said. "If it weren't so early, I would say the two of us should go dancing. But no one would be there. Who knows if they even open this early? Ever danced with a guy?" I asked.
"No. I don't think of myself as a good dancer. I hardly dance with women. How many men have you danced with?"
"A whopping two. Both were awkward. Mike got drunk the first time. I did the second time. It's odd that I would want to go back, but while things were fun, I loved dancing. As it turns out. I didn't think I'd be good either. But, the right music, the freedom to be yourself..."
"... alcohol ..."
"Yeah. That's when it turned bad. Fucking Detrell."
"Ready to head back?" he asked me.
"Sure."
We laughed a lot on the drive back. For two guys who were depressed earlier, our mood had changed considerably. He said he was going to see his folks one last time before graduation. He wasn't heading home immediately after school was finished. It sounded like the job and apartment had to be set up, so he'd only be able to go home for a few days at the end of May.
We walked back into his apartment.
"Help yourself to a Diet Coke," he told me.
I heard him go into the bathroom. The door was open, and I could hear him take a long piss. I found a glass and prepared to get some ice. I happened to glance at the top shelf. Behind a few items, I could see a couple bottles of liquor. I breathed out a sigh. I hoped the visit with his parents might do him some good. I dug some ice out of the freezer and popped the can of soda.
Lance came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the floor in a wobbly hug.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Thank you. I was so depressed earlier. I'm in a much better mood. That's all because of you," he said.
"That's what friends are for. You did the same for me, too."
He looked in the fridge. I was afraid he would rip into the 12-pack.
"We could go for a run," I suggested, hoping it would divert him from choosing a beer.
"Now? Nah."
"Just FYI, you've put on a few pounds since our last game," I said jokingly.
"Great. I'm fat. Now I'm depressed again," he fired back.
I walked over to hug him and pull him away from the fridge. "You know I'm kidding, but watch your calories, dude."
"Yes, mother," he said sarcastically. He gave me a quick kiss. "Thanks for caring."
I hugged him harder. I didn't chastise him for the kiss. It was friendly, and to be honest, I was getting used to it. I loved my time with Lance.
"You know what we could doooo ...?" he said with an evil leer. "My roomies are out for the night..."
He locked the front door. I looked at him.
"Let's jack off," he said.
"And the One-Track Mind Award goes to ... Lance Wheeling," I mockingly said, followed by fake applause.
I went into the bathroom. It was my turn to take a leak. I flushed and came back to the living room. Lance was shirtless and his belt was unbuckled.
"Let's do it," he said quietly walking up to me. "I don't want to cross any lines, Trent. You're my friend — my best friend — so tell me if I push too hard. But do you wanna?"
"How about I make a deal with you. I'll join you IF you promise not to have any alcohol all night."
"Oh, now sexual gratification comes with a deal, huh?" he said sarcastically. Calling my bluff, he said, "I'm in."
"Uh ... where?"
"I don't care," he said.
He pulled off his shorts and briefs together. He stood naked before me, except for his socks. I found that sexy for some reason. His penis was getting erect. Lance didn't get a lot bigger when he got hard, but it thickened in girth — amazingly somehow — and stood straight out from his crotch. I always liked how my erection jutted skyward. He jumped onto the couch.
I brought my drink into the room, put it on the coffee table and then pulled the coffee table back a few feet. I grabbed a clean towel out of the bathroom and laid it at the foot of the couch. I pulled my shirt off and laid down on it. I looked up toward Lance. He was stroking his organ making it fully erect. I lifted my ass off the towel and slid everything off. Except the socks. We matched.
"Attaboy," he said, turning on his side to look at me.
He continued to pull on his cock. My dick was almost at full mast. I fondled it and my balls.
"Does Mike swallow when you come?" he asked.
"Wow. You don't hold back," I said. "Don't ask us about our personal sex life. It's between us. Just imagine all you want, and there's a good chance it's true."
I pulled on my dick in a steady rhythm. It felt good. I hadn't had an orgasm in a while. I was due to give myself some pleasure. Lance rubbed his cock down at the base. I went all up and down mine.
"Do you want to see if your ass can take me?" he asked.
"Nooo-uh! Sorry, only Mike gets to have this sculpted butt," I said, turning over to show off my ass.
Lance reached down and cupped one of the cheeks of my ass.
"Hey," I said, turning back over.
His hand grabbed my cock. Gently he rubbed its entire length.
"Your meat is beautiful, Trent. It really is. Are you comfortable with me touching it?"
His inquiry was childlike. It wasn't arrogant or forceful. He was checking on me to make sure I was okay.
"It feels good," I said. It did. I surprised myself by allowing him to touch it this time. I wanted us to have boundaries. The two of us could easily get each other hot. I remember that first shower over two months ago — with Mike. I had just come, and then Lance joined us. I can't believe I fucked him that night. It was crazy; it was like we were three different people. Lance looked so hot that afternoon. He still does. His body is always smoking hot, even with a few extra pounds added on.
He leaned over the couch and jerked my cock for a couple minutes. I softly moaned. He crawled down to join me on the floor. His hand roamed over my chest, then it found my throbbing cock again.
There we were ... jacking off. It was becoming more than that. Did I want it to be more than jacking off? This scenario had weighed on me. In the back of my mind, I wondered about the two of us. The sexual tension was off the charts. I thought I had it under control. I was in love with Mike. But. This felt good.
I wasn't doing any second guessing. My judgement was finely tuned, but I needed to find something out. I reached over and grabbed his giant hard-on.
"Oh yeaaaahh, buddy," he sighed.
I rubbed it down at the base like he had been doing. He put his arms behind his head and let me jerk his erection. He closed his eyes. His smile was huge. His breathing became audible as I serviced his cock.
"Ohhh, Trent. Yes."
Lance wasn't ready for my next move. His body jolted for a second when he felt my mouth slide down on his erection.
"Holy fuck, Trent. Oh, man! Fuck yeah."
He was harder to suck than Mike. It was not as enjoyable, but it was intriguing because of its size. I let my tongue get sloppy all around his fleshy shaft.
"That feels good, buddy," he said.
"Want to crawl into the bed? It'll be softer," I said.
We got up. I grabbed the towel. Lance had the single bed in the room. He laid down. I snuggled up beside him. We looked into each other's eyes. He moved forward to kiss me. I didn't reject it. We moved closer and wrapped our arms around each other. Our kissing became passionate. I reached down and grabbed his cock again. As we kissed, I gently pulled on it. He moaned in his kissing.
I sat up and spread his legs apart. I moved my body between them. My hand clutched his erection again and stroked it with some force. I leaned over to lick the underside of Lance's balls as I jerked his cock.
"Ohhhh, buddeeeee," he breathed.
We stayed like that for a few minutes. Lance got louder as I pounded his cock. I was certain his moaning was loud enough to travel through the walls. Even though I cautioned him, he kept moaning to me, letting me know my efforts were what he wanted. I paused a moment to quiet him. I leaned down and we kissed some more.
"My turn," he whispered into my lips.
Lance turned me on my back and thrust his mouth over my dick. His mouth was incredibly warm, and it felt nice going up and down the entire length. He swallowed every inch of me.
"Nice, man," I quietly said and tilted my head back to enjoy the oral service.
Lance hummed as he sucked my cock — a moaning hum. I was getting the attention, but he was enjoying it even more I thought. The blow job was warm and exceptionally wet. My dick felt incredibly slippery from his mouth and tongue spreading his natural lubrication.
"That feels really good, Lance. My cock feels so good," I told him.
He slurped on it some more. I wasn't close to coming but knew I had passed the point that I would somehow decide to stop. I was in this, and my rod was enflamed, the thought of turning back was impossible.
I turned my body to where we both could get each other's dicks in each other's mouth. As we 69ed each other, both of us took an arm and grabbed each other's ass. Lance moaned loudly around my cock; I mimicked the action around his. My fingers gripped his ass cheek and massaged his soft skin. It was a beautiful butt. It felt nice in my hand. My ring finger traveled up and down his ass crack. Slowly it crawled further down, eventually reaching the opening to his hole. I wriggled my finger right at the entrance and sucked on him harder. I sucked faster. I sucked louder.
"Ohhh, man!" he said loudly, taking his mouth off my cock. "Don't make me come yet."
He maneuvered on top of me and started kissing me with passion again. Our dicks rubbed together as we made out. His hips started thrusting his erection up and down my body, as he moaned in his kisses.
"Will you fuck me again, Trent?" he asked with genuine sincerity. "I ... I've wanted you to fuck me again for so long. Your cock would feel so good inside me. Please say yes."
I looked into his eyes. With no words, they were pleading, begging.
"Buddy, I'm not tested until next week. I don't think I should."
He got up and grabbed the lube and a condom from Cole's drawer.
"We can use this," he said, holding up the packet.
"You don't think he'll miss that?"
"What? Like he has them counted?" Lance said.
"Will it fit me? You said he was not as big as us."
"We'll find out," as he ripped open the packet.
He placed the ring of latex at the tip of my erection and rolled it down. It was tight, but it worked. He positioned the towel under us and grabbed the bottle of lube. He made my cock nice and slick. I grabbed the bottle and squirted some on my finger. It probed Lance's hole.
"Oh, yeah," he said in approval.
I slid a second lubricated finger in him, widening his passage.
"Mmmm," he moaned.
He spread his legs and lifted them in the air. I placed my cock right at Lance's ass and let the head of my erection enter slowly. He inhaled sharply. Then relaxed. I slowly moved in further until I was all the way in. That felt nice.
"You okay?" I asked with a heavy breath.
"Yeah. Start slow."
I grabbed his legs and slowly withdrew my cock, pushing it back in before it completely exited. I moved back inside him. Deep. Both of us moaned. I started my rhythm, fucking him gently, slowly. We didn't say anything. We just breathed as we fucked. Breathed and fucked. Breathed and fucked. My cock was pulsing, throbbing. The stimulation of our sex was intense. I didn't want to take it too fast. I wanted this to last.
"Trent, you feel so good inside me. Thank you for fucking me," he said to me with honest adoration in his voice.
"Yeah. I feel good inside you too, bud. My cock is loving fucking your ass." I was on my elbows looking down on him.
He let go of one of his legs. Lance clutched his hard-on and stroked it with force. His moaning started again. He got loud. I actually came close to matching his volume. We were into this, and it felt incredible. I started thrusting him harder. My crotch slammed into his hole with force. The tickle of my bush pushed up to his balls.
"Oh yeah, Trent," he called out. "More, more! Fuck me harder."
I complied. He was jerking his hard flesh like a tank. His strokes were powerful and huge. He began to growl and snarl as he pleasured his monumental phallus. I kept thrusting my hips, sliding my cock in and out like a metronome. We almost sounded like animals. Groaning, growling, moaning, fucking. My lubed cock continued to slide in and out of his passage with ease. The stimulation for both of us was a testosterone overdose. Our voices blended in a harmonious moan. I loved fucking Lance. I couldn't deny it.
"Ohhh. Oh yeah, Trent. Fuck me! Fuck me!! Fuck my brains out!" he screamed. "Fuuuuckkk! Oh ... oh ... oh, I'm so close!"
I fucked him harder somehow. I lifted my body on stiff arms. I could feel my facial expression almost become savage. "I'm so hot, buddy. We're so fucking hot."
"Oh, man. Oh fuck. Make me come, Trent. Fuck me! Make me come."
"Come for me, buddy," I told him. "Make that big salami come."
His orgasm sounded almost brutal as the first shot fired a foot in the air before landing on his chest. He continued screaming loudly as each spasm from his cock unleashed another stream of cum onto his torso. After his erection stopped oozing his pent-up liquid, his volume decreased. I stopped fucking him and pulled my cock out. He looked at me in surprise knowing I wasn't finished. I peeled the condom off my red shaft and crawled up further. I leaned over to kiss him and then slid my cock into his cum dripped on his body. We kissed again and then I sat up. My arm moved my dick all into his cum. I took my hand and scooped up more, slathering it up and down my entire seven inches. "So hot," he said.
"Put your hands on my chest," I directed.
He stiff armed my pecs and I leaned into him. I started jerking my cum-coated dick. I moaned. I breathed. I gasped. I moaned some more.
"You're so beautiful, Trent," Lance said looking up at me. "I want you to come on me. Come all over me."
I wasn't ready. I wanted to keep these sensations going. My cock felt stimulated down to every single nerve. The sensations were off the chart. I tilted my head back as I masturbated my manhood hovering over Lance.
"Work it, baby. Work that cock," he called, spurring me on.
I pulled and yanked. I moaned and groaned.
"My cock feels so good, bud," I said back.
The stickiness of Lance's cum on my dick was all sorts of amazing. It was hot, it was stimulating, it was magnifying the touch of my grip. I groaned, bordering on whimpering. I looked back down at him, watching him smile at me as I pleasured myself in front of him. My cock throbbed, verging on exploding.
"Close, bud. I'm close."
"Yeah, man. I'm here. Shoot your load all over me. I want your cum. Give it to me."
"Oh, oh, I'm ... soooooo ... closssssssseee ..."
I jerked my cock. The intensity matched my moaning and growling. I screamed out as my orgasm flared. The first stream of cum shot several feet to Lance's cheek. He hollered in awe. The next landed on his neck. A few more waves of cum landed on his chest. He continued to hold me up with his arms. Eventually after my climax subsided, I was suspended above him just panting, trying to regain my breath. My face was flushed. It felt both electrified and on fire.
Soon, he lowered me to his side. We turned to kiss for a minute. We had both perspired a bit in the heat of passion. Our naked bodies glistened. The smell of our sexual energy permeated his bedroom. Then we laid side by side. He clutched my hand. We interlocked fingers.
"That was the most amazing sex ... ever," he said to me, staring at the ceiling.
"It was good," I agreed. "That's what Mike and I have. Just imagine that."
"Holy fuck," he whispered.
I unlocked my fingers and moved to hold his dick again. He followed suit. We just laid there. Messy. Still. Connected.
My thoughts were on several paths. My moral compass was splintered. I worked each thought. Fondled each thought, gently analyzing it in mind as if I was using my hands. I evaluated my choices. A smile crossed my face.
"You're smiling. I'm glad we did this."
"Hey buddy, this was a one-time thing, okay?" I said, my voice sounding important.
"You sure? It was pretty great," he replied turning toward me, then realizing he was going to get cum all over the sheets. He turned back.
"I'm sure. I love Mike. I am IN love with Mike. I can't be friends with benefits with you. Tonight ... we had ... so much pent-up sexual tension. I ... we ... needed to get past that. I needed to prove to myself that I want Mike. Just Mike. And I do."
Lance went quiet.
"You're my best friend, buddy. I love you for that. I'd do anything for you. Well, except ... this ... behind Mike's back. I hope I didn't mess up our friendship by going along with this. I felt like I had to prove something — to myself. I'm now sure I can totally commit myself to him. This really is ... was ... a one-time thing."
"If that's true, you gave me the best you could. It was amazing."
I kissed him again, slightly leaning my body over him. My free hand ran a finger in circles through our cum on his chest.
"I wonder how many people you came out to tonight," I chuckled.
"What?? What do you mean?" he quickly called back.
"Oh, come on! These walls are fairly thin. You don't think anyone heard us?"
"You think? Hmm. Shit. Well, I don't know if I would say I `came out.' I'm not sure if I'm gay or not."
"You were screaming `Fuck my brains out' to another man. I think you kind of lean that way," I said matter of fact.
"I dunno," he said before laying silent a minute.
I ran my finger through the cum again. I spelled his name in it.
"It's probably even more mixed signals, but ... we're a mess. I'd be willing to shower with you."
Lance smiled and scrambled to his knees on the bed. He gave me a quick peck on the lips.
"I'll take those mixed signals."
We put the lube back and wiped up a bit. We made the bed to disguise any drips that might have remained. Lance had the shower ready, and we stepped in.
We lathered each other's chest. It took several times to get everything off Lance's. We smiled at our handiwork. He'd give me an occasional kiss. I accepted them but needed to let him know they needed to stop after tonight. I planned to tell him when I left.
As Lance lathered my crotch in suds, I asked him how his ass felt. He said fine, but he'd let me know tomorrow. We laughed. My cock got a little hard again as he cleaned and fondled it. As always, his dick felt amazing, hard or not. We enjoyed cleaning each other. It was a completely different aspect of our friendship. I knew it was inappropriate. I crossed a line. But I felt like I could do anything with Lance. If circumstances had been different, we could have been a good fit. As we finished up the shower, we joked and made small talk. I wondered if — hopefully when — he would allow himself to be truthful to others. And himself.
Lance turned off the water. Sliding the curtain open, he reached for a new towel for me. His was hanging on the rack. We stepped out and started drying off.
"Just wanted you to know, I'm home," said Cole, popping his head in the open bathroom doorway.
We both jumped a foot. Lance let out a small scream.
"Sorry," chuckled Cole. "It was slow at work, and we had an extra person on shift. I volunteered to come home early."
"I DON'T believe it!" I softly said. "How does this keep happening to me?"
"We were ..." Lance started, trying to find words. Any words.
"You don't have to say anything to me," said Cole. "Just wanted you to know I was ... here."
Cole went into the kitchen. We walked into the living room. Our clothes were all over the floor. That probably told more than both of us being in the shower did. Awkward. Sheepishly, we pulled our clothes on.
"I can leave," Cole said. "In fact, I called Carrie. I might pop over to see her."
"No. No. No." I said. "I'm going to head out."
I dropped the towel and Cole momentarily saw me naked. He stared at my cock. While it wasn't hard, it was still fairly long. He tilted his head.
"You too?" he said in mock outrage. "Life is so unfair."
Cole's phone rang. It was his girlfriend. He held it up to show us her picture and then stepped outside to take the call.
"Gawd! I can only imagine what he's telling her," Lance said in a bemoaning tone.
"I tell you, I'm cursed," I said. "This happens to me waaay too much."
"Yeah?"
"Uhhh, from Day One. Hello? Do you not remember walking in on Mike and me?"
"Oh. Yeah." He lightly chuckled.
"My roommates did when I started to jack off ... These guys in the library ... Kevin caught Mike and me in bed ... and now this. I'm cursed."
"Well. I have an awkward evening ahead of me. Good lord."
I wasn't sure how to approach how I felt, but I needed to make sure things were clear before leaving.
"No matter how it ended, it was good, Lance. We got this out of our system. I love you, buddy. I do. But I'm Mike's boyfriend. I hope I can make that last. As long as it does, I am going to be loyal to him. As a couple, I want us both to be faithful, and if that is what Mike wants too, I think the two of us can move forward with a good future. I'm in love with him. You were worried about hurting me the other night, and I hope by agreeing to this tonight, I haven't hurt you."
"You gave me incredible sex, possibly the best in my life. How could you have hurt me? I know you belong to Mike. I'm completely envious. But I don't know if I have things figured out. Hopefully one day."
"Hopefully without so much drinking," I said as softly and tenderly as I could. "Keep your promise to me tonight, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay."
We hugged. Following the embrace, we held each other and looked into each other's eyes.
"I love you too, buddy," he whispered. "Thanks for being the friend I need."
"Almost what you need," I smiled. "And no kissing after tonight."
"Then let's make this last one count," he said.
We went in for one last passionate kiss. My feelings were clear. We had developed a strange friendship, but it was the best one I had ever had. The kiss was hard and long. We pulled apart.
"Call me tomorrow. Let me know how ... this ... goes," I said waving my arm around the living room.
Lance grabbed me again and held me tight. We didn't say anything. We stood there for a minute. Eventually we let go and I left. Cole was outside, and I gave him a simple wave as I started my walk. Like Lance, I couldn't imagine what was going through his roommate's head.
But I had to wonder what was going through Lance's head. My thoughts were all over the place, but I felt good about it.
April 29
I can't say I'm proud of what I did tonight, but it was something I knew had to be done. I had conflicting thoughts about my feelings for Lance. His flirting was fun, I had to admit. I couldn't go along with this whole "friends with benefits" idea. It just doesn't seem right. But when Mike said we needed some temporary space so I could be sure about what I really wanted, I felt tonight was something I should do. There is a tinge of guilt, yes, but more importantly, there is relief. I know. I know for sure. Mike is the one for me. There's no doubt. And even after amazing sex with Lance, that tells me what I need to know. My heart belongs to Mike.
As I write that on paper, it doesn't really seem to make sense. But it does. When we hit pause, Mike said he wanted to make sure I knew we belonged together. He was all I knew at that point. He probably didn't want to think of me with other guys, but ... he knew it was possible. I do hate that I had sex with someone, but I now know. No matter what, I know I want to be with Mike.
I do have to worry about Lance though. His feelings for me are probably stronger. Deeper. At least I think we both know where we stand now. But I'd love for him to find the right guy. Heck, I'd love for him to admit that he wants a guy. He has a lot to work through. He still needs to discover who he is. I just hope he can do it sober. I just don't want the drinking to be his fallback. He's my friend. And I love him. He's the closest friend I've ever had.
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I am eager to hear your thoughts. I am braced for hate mail. You can voice your opinion in the comments on the blog, too. timothylane414stories.blogspot.com