Disclaimer: This story is purely fictional, and therefore it does not imply that any of the characters portrayed in this story (i.e. the five members of Westlife) are gay...
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IF I LET YOU GO (PART V) Author: Jay Cee
Shane rested his foot on top of the ball, thinking, planning an attack in advance. He was lined up with Mark and Kian on either side of him, facing his aggressors, Nicky and Bryan, although he definitely had trouble thinking of Nicky in that way. Shane turned to Kian, then to Mark, nodding his head slightly, then faced Nicky, a smoldering look in his eyes. Nicky had no idea what Shane was thinking. He kicked the ball to Kian.
The game was on.
Nicky ran towards Kian, who scooped up the ball in his hands and ran for the goal, crudely marked out with sticks embedded in the earth, at the end of the field.
Nicky protested, "Who said this was a rugby game? Damn!" and gave chase to Kian, who was pulling away like a champion.
Kian deftly avoided him, sending Nicky sprawling in Shane, who was trailing close behind Kian. But not anymore. The crash of bodies left them entangled on the lush green grass, Nicky feeling dazed for a second as the other three continued the game, unconcerned about them. It was then that he realised that he could feel something warm, something fuzzy under his hand. Somehow his hand had found its way up Shane's shirt, the light fuzz of Shane's chest tickling the tips of Nicky's fingers.
"Oh, uh, I'm sorry Shane. Shit. Uh..."
"Don't be Nicky..."
Their eyes lingered for a moment, locked on each other's gaze. Nicky felt kind of weird. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could any words out, Shane was bounding down towards the other end of the field, where Kian was jumping up and down, celebrating an early goal. What would he have said to him anyway? He wasn't sure exactly, but the amount of time his eyes stay focused on Shane's butt travelling down the field started to make him think about things. He fell back into the grass, his eyes directed at the clouds overhead. Then from nowhere Bryan's face appeared, blocking the view.
"Some help you are Nicky," Bryan said, "weren't you going to play for Leeds United? They couldn't spot talent if it came up and hit them in the face!"
"Shaddup Bryan"
"Whoa! Some comeback! Get up off your lazy butt and give us some help would you??"
"Nah, I'm going inside. You guys keep playing." Nicky got up off the ground, his shorts covered in green grass stains from the collision with Shane, and headed back towards the house.
"WHAT???? Come back here!!!"
Nicky raised a hand in the air, signaling Bryan to stop, that it was of no use. The Sligo boys came up behind Bryan, Shane being the first to voice his concern.
"Where does he think he's going Bryan?"
"Beats me. What's his problem lately? He always seems to be pissed about something."
"I wonder..."
All Mark could think about was the horse ride he and Shane had planned, "Anyway, Shane, can we go for that ride now?"
"I dunno, it's getting a little late for a ride, I wouldn't mind a walk though."
"Cool, let's go."
With that they headed off for the forest down towards the stream, leaving Bryan and Kian to go back to the house.
"Why does he want Shane all alone to himself??" Kian was all concern...
Dearest Georgina,
It's Nicky here. As if you didn't guess. Hmm, I really don't know how to put this, especially to someone that I love and care for so much. You know that it's been hard for us lately, with me never being there very much, with touring, recording, promotions. I just think its time for us to cool it off a bit. I feel as though I can't be everything I want to be for you right now Georgina. I'm so confused about everything at the moment, what I want form life, where I want things to take me. You don't need to be dragged into this mess with me. You don't deserve that.
Nicky stopped writing, tears streaming down his cheeks. How could he do this to Georgina? How could he be such a bastard to someone who had been so in love with him for so long, who had been with him through the ups and the downs? He read over the letter, and it seemed to avoid what he really wanted to say to her. Who he really had feelings for. He folded the letter in half, leaving it on the desk. He got up from his chair and laid down on the bed, sobbing quietly.
Bryan walked slowly down the corridor, admiring the paintings that adorned the walls of the house. He walked past Nicky's room, the door left half open. Bryan peered in, wondering how Nicky was doing; he hadn't seemed too good after the game that afternoon. Looking in, he noticed that Nicky was fast asleep, but his pillow was wet, not near his mouth, but a small damp patch was noticeable near Nicky's eyes.
"There really is something wrong him..."
It was then that Bryan spotted the piece of paper, neatly folded, on the desk near the window. He picked it up, unfolding it carefully.
"Dear Georgina... Shit, I shouldn't be reading this."
That didn't stop him. His inquisitive nature got the better of him.
"I'm so confused about everything at the moment..."
"Bryan, what are you doing here?" suddenly Nicky was awake. "Why are you reading that?"
"And what are you hiding from us?" Bryan retorted.
Shane deftly jumped from rock to rock, avoiding falling into the briskly flowing water of the stream below him. He sat on a log on near the stream, waiting for Mark to join him. Mark stepped between the rocks, not showing the same agility as Shane, but managing to cross the stream all the same.
Mark sat down next to Shane, taking a deep breath, needing to build up his courage to speak.
"There's something wrong, isn't there Mark."
"Yeah, you got that right Shane."
"You know you can tell me anything Mark."
"I know, I know. I just don't know how you're going to take what I'm about to tell you, that's all."
"Well, what is it then?"
"It's about Kian, Shane." Mark's cheeks went red with embarrassment. "I'm in love with him, and I'm don't think I'm ever going to get that love back from him."
Shane was speechless. "Fuck," he thought, "Mark's gay." There was a moment of silence, then Mark looked up at Shane, his big, brown eyes stained red with tears.
"Does he know about this? Have you told him?"
"Of course I have. We fooled around a bit Shane. Nothing really serious, but enough to make it hurt like hell when he didn't tell me he loved me."
"So Kian's gay too?"
"He's no lady's man Shane. He's probably deep-throated more cocks than you've had hot dinners."
The thought of Kian's mouth engorging some horny guys cock made Shane spring to attention.
"What am I going to do Shane??"
Well, if you want to know what happens, now that Mark's secret is out, keep checkin' back for part 6!! e-mail jay102@hotmail.com