************** If I let You Go 13 **************
*********** Ryan's POV ***********
I was staring at myself thru the mirror of the men's room. Fuck! When I finally got the courage to tell Jason how I feel about him, Jack had to arrive! Maybe this is heaven's way of telling me not to tell Jason how I feel because he probably doesn't feel the same way about me.
I washed my face and was drying it with a paper towel when I saw Jack enter the men's room. I gave him a weak smile even though I didn't like him that much at the moment.
"Hey," Jack gave me a nervous look as he went to the faucet beside me. I threw the paper towel at the basket and was about to leave when Jack stopped me. I gave him a quizzical look as he faced me. He was looking at me apprehensively as he dried his hand.
"What?" I asked him.
"You like Drake?" Jack almost whispered to me as his voice got a little hoarse.
"What?!" I was taken aback by his question.
"I-uhhh---We're sort of seeing each other," Jack said to my utter shock as he looked down the floor. "I---am gay." All I could do was stare at my stepbrother in disbelief.
"You...you're gay?" I asked him stupidly.
"Yeah," Jack forced himself to look at me again and gave me a nervous laugh. "Jason told me..that I should tell you the truth and that you'll be okay with it."
"Jason knows you're gay?" I looked at him dumbfoundedly.
"It's a long story," Jack was speaking in a soft voice. "Tommy and I weren't that discreet in Nice." He paused for a few seconds and I just stared at him silently, still digesting the information he told me. "You okay with me being gay Ryan?"
"Yes, of course," I said a little hastily. Jack leaned closer and gave me a hug and a pat on the back.
"Thanks," Jack said simply before walking out the men's room. I composed myself before returning to the table. The food we ordered were already served and I found Jason laughing at something Drake said.
"Hey," Jason grinned at me broadly. I couldn't believe how much that grin comforted me. It feels like all Jason has to do was smile at me and all my problems will go away. "Drake owns a yacht and invited us to go sailing with him when school's over."
"You can stay for a few days here, right?" Jack urged me. "We can go sailing down the coast. Drake and I could take a few days off from work if you guys are up to it."
"You going?" I asked Jason slowly.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Jason laughed out.
"You should come with us too," Drake gave me a warm smile as he put his hand over Jack's on the table. "We'll have a great time."
"I'm in," I nodded my head at them. I saw Jason smiling at me happily and I couldn't help but wonder if it was such a great idea. I'm starting to doubt if Jason feels anything for me also. What I'm feeling for him go beyond mere attraction and I'm afraid that Jason doesn't feel that strongly about me also.
"Jack told you about him and Drake?" Jason whispered to me as we were walking behind Drake and my stepbrother. We decided to window-shop for a while then have some ice cream.
"Yeah," I answered Jason.
"You didn't tell him about you?" I knew Jason was going to ask me that sooner or later.
"I'm just working up the courage to do so," I said to him timidly.
"Whatever happens, I'll be here for you, okay?" I felt Jason draping his arm around my shoulder. "Besides, I don't think Jack will get angry at you."
"Some people told me that something was going on between Jack and Tommy," I confided to Jason. "I didn't believe them until now."
"You've got to admit that Jack and Tommy look good together," Jason grinned at me as he pulled back his arm. "I hope I'll meet someone like Tommy."
"Huh?" I stopped abruptly and looked at Jason in surprise. He just didn't say that he would like to have a boyfriend, did he?"
*********** Jason's POV ***********
Shit! I didn't say that aloud! I didn't say that aloud!
"Uh," I looked at Ryan uncomfortably. "I meant I wish I'll meet someone who would look at me like the way Tommy looked at Ryan. They were so in love with each other back in Nice."
"Oh," Ryan said in disappointment.
"We'd better catch up with Ryan and Drake," We quicken our pace and caught up with the two lovers. We spent an hour just walking around the area and window shopping before heading to Iceberg's and ordering some ice cream sundae. Jack and Drake shared one and Ryan and me shared another.
"Umm," Ryan looked at his brother nervously. "Jack? Can I tell you something important?"
"What?" Jack answered him. I saw Ryan giving me a nervous look so I put my hand on his thigh and patted it gently. Ryan smiled a little at me before looking at his brother again.
"Since you already came out to me, I guess I might as well come out to you too," Ryan said slowly. "I'm gay too."
"You mean you guys are---" Jack eyes grew big as he and Drake looked at us in disbelief.
"No!" Ryan denied vehemently.
I was really starting to enjoy the day. I spent the whole morning with Ryan and we seem to be getting along fine. In fact, I felt like we were really getting closer. I caught him looking at me a few times today like he wants me. But hearing him say that right now makes me think it was just all in my head.
We ended up watching a movie and Jack treating us to dinner. It was already dark when Ryan and I got back to the campus. Even though I know that Ryan's not interested in me that way, I still caught him a few times looking at me like he wanted to eat me. But I dismissed that as just wishful thinking on my part. Besides, if Ryan was interested in me, I didn't know if I would have the courage to tell how I feel.
"I had a great time tonight," Ryan said to me as we walked up to the freshman dorms.
"Me too," I grinned at him as some guys who were sitting on the steps in front of the building were giving us looks. "Thanks for helping me put up the posters."
"Anytime," Ryan replied with a smile. "If you need help with any activity, just tell me and I'll be there."
"I'll keep that in mind," I said goodbye to him and then started to walk to my dorm. I was a block away when I heard Ryan calling my name. I turned around and saw him rushing up to me.
"What's wrong?" I asked him as he catches his breath.
"I-umm---" I saw his face was a little red. I didn't know if it was from the running or from embarrassment. "I was just wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me tomorrow. If you're busy, you don't--"
"I'd love too," I cut him off and gave him a shit-eating grin. "How about we meet at the council office at noon?"
"I'll see you tomorrow then," Ryan beamed at me happily before turning around and walking back to his dorm. I watched him for a few seconds before starting for the dorm again.
*************** To Be Continued *************** Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com