If I Am
Hey, this is the first time I've tried writing something like this. I was inspired by some really good stories: some of them included "Kevin and Justin", "Forever"/"Equilibrium", and "Route 66 Rocks!" While I did consider writing about Joey from N'Sync, I felt more comfortable writing about Kevin at this point in time. So here goes... since this is my first time... please feel free to email comments or constructive criticism to me, and I'll respond as quickly as possible. I'll post more if there's interest. Email : ajantis20@hotmail.com
Just to let you know: I'm gonna try and have a fairly slow-paced, less cheesy story. From the look of things, it'll probably be fairly talky as well, although I'll try to keep it down. Bear with me, folks. So don't read this expecting an instance romance, a quick jump into bed, and hot, wild, passionate sex right away, although I presume that will all happen somewhere down the road.
DISCLAIMER
This story is completely fictional and is not meant to reflect the actual personalities or sexualities of the Backstreet Boys. If any member of BSB is gay, it's their business. If it's illegal or you're too young to read the story where you're living, please refrain from doing so.
If I Am
Prologue
"Dammit!" I frantically rushed into my office and started scouring the cluttered desk for the grade sheet I had to scoot over to my professor ASAP.
The day had not gone well. I had woken up late, which had royally screwed up my schedule for the day. I'd been late getting to class, late getting to a meeting with my advisor, yada yada yada. It seemed like the day couldn't get any worse.
"Geez, Alan, calm down. What happened, Prof hounding your cute little butt again?" That was fellow graduate student and a capella group member, Gina, speaking. She was one of my closest friends on campus, and great fun to be with, but occasionally annoying. Right now, she was in full-on annoying mode, but I simply ignored her and kept on searching.
"There you are!" Frantically sweeping the stack of papers into my knapsack, I rushed back out, eager to drop the grade sheet off without getting too much of a chewing-out by the Prof. Scrambling into my car, I dumped a Jonatha Brooke CD into the stereo and shot out of the grad student parking lot...
The next thing I heard was the sharp screeching of brakes and the burning smell of rubber...
Chapter 1
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Looking to my right, I saw worried green eyes staring back at me.
Tap tap tap.
Fighting against a terrible headache and protesting muscles, I rolled down the window.
"Are you all right?" A mellow voice with a slight Southern accent. Sparkling green eyes. Well-defined features. Something nagged at the back of my mind; the guy looked way too familiar, but I was too dazed to really figure it out. Confused, I nodded.
"Well, Kev, don't just stand there, let's get him out of the car already". A different voice. I saw a shock of blonde hair at the edge of my vision but was too dazed to turn my head.
"You're right, Brian". Strong hands reached in to lift me out. Next thing I knew, I was slumped over on the pavement, trying to block out the tumult of voices around us.
"Oh my god! Alan, are you all right? What happened?" Even through the pain, it wasn't hard to pick out Gina's voice.
"I'm sorry... Alan? It was my fault, I should have been watching the road more carefully" A firm hand clasped my shoulder. I looked up into the same pair of dazzling green eyes, which now held a concerned expression.
"Ngh. It's okay. As much my fault as yours". I gritted the words out through clenched teeth, but it was getting harder to concentrate through the throbbing headache.
"Look boys, it's nice to see the two of you making friends, but let's concentrate on the important things shall we? Like getting Alan to a hospital sometime in the next decade, maybe?
An ambulance siren began to blare in the background. That was the last thing I heard before I lost what remained of my already tentative grip on consciousness and fainted.
Chapter 2
Music playing in the background...
"If I gave you the sky
If I laid down my life
Would you believe me then?"
(Jonatha Brooke, "Because I Told You So")
Opening my eyes, I was rewarded with a sharp stab of pain. I squeezed them shut and moaned softly.
"Finally awake, I see. Took you long enough, sleepyhead" The tart tone of Gina's voice betrayed how worried she actually was. I just stuck my tongue out in the general direction of her voice.
Someone coughed. "Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Tang, but I just wanted to let you know that you were really lucky. You came out of that accident with a whole lot of nasty bruises and a fairly mild concussion. If your friend can send you home, you're free to go. Mind you, no exercise or strenuous activities for the next few days" That was the doctor. I was a little disappointed that it hadn't been the mellow voice I'd heard earlier. Ah well.
"Yeah, doc. If it's possible, I'd much rather die a painful and horrible death from this blistering headache on my own bed, thanks", I joked, and opened my eyes. Ouch. The pain at the back of my head was still there, but I gritted my teeth and kept my eyes open this time.
"Well, given the return of Alan's feeble sense of humor, I'd say it's safe to take him home. See ya later, doc", Gina interjected.
Gina bundled my stuff up in that very Gina-ish, efficient manner of hers, and hustled me into her beat-up station wagon.
"So Ginny, what happened after I unceremoniously blacked out on that pavement? Nothing too embarrassing I hoped..."
"Oh nothing too bad, except that you probably picked the worst time and place to faint and drool all over the sidewalk". She glanced over at my blank stare and threw her hands in the air. Thankfully, she placed them back on the steering wheel before we could sideswipe any unsuspecting pedestrians or cars. "Geezus, you'd think that after having been in an a capella group for three years, one would be able to recognize Kevin and Brian!"
"Nope. Nada. No bell rung over here". I racked my brain for clues, but all I could recollect were intense green eyes staring at me, and I involuntarily shivered.
"Hellooooo, Earth to Alan! Earth to Alan! I swear, you have been buried in your books way too deep lately" She gave me a look of pure exasperation. "KEVIN RICHARDSON and BRIAN LITTRELL! Backstreet Boys! Total hotties! I want it that way... Millenium... anything ringing a bell yet?"
Then it struck me.
"Oh my god... you mean THAT Kevin and Brian. You mean two Backstreet Boys saw me collapse and make a total fool of myself on the pavement?"
"Stop gaping like that, boy, or you'll swallow a fly before you know it" Gina smirked.
"Wait" I squinted at her. "Since when were you a Backstreet groupie? Spill, girl!"
Gina blushed. "Well, anyway, Kevin and Brian stayed until the ambulance came to get you, but they had to rush off for a pressing engagement. They left their insurance details with me, and said someone would call to arrange the payments and stuff"
We pulled up to my house, and Gina basically manhandled me into my bed. I struggled to get up, but Gina put one hand on my chest, and shoved me back onto the bed. Man, that girl was strong.
"Sit! Stay! Doctor's orders!"
"But Gina, if I don't get those papers done, the prof's gonna have a fit!"
"And if you don't get some rest, I'll have a fit! Calm down, Alan, I gotcha covered. I'll get the scores for rehearsal tonight, and let your students and prof know about the accident. Don't worry, okay?" Her eyes softened and she stroked my hair. "Just get some rest, you've had a busy week"
I finally capitulated, but only after making her run through my list of errands a couple of times.
"Thanks, G..."
"Get some sleep, already!" She waggled her finger at me on her way out.
I lay back against the covers, thinking about how weird a day it had been...
Chapter 3
Ring ring ring.
"Damn alarm clock..."
Ring ring ring.
Oh wait, that was the phone. I fumbled around and finally managed to pick up the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is Alan there?" Southern twang. Warm voice. Something clicked in my sleep-fogged brain.
"Oh... hi... Kevin? Wait a sec". Deep breathe. Deep breathe. Be cool. Be calm. "What's up?"
"Hey, not disturbing you, am I? I know it's kinda late, but I wasn't able to call till now"
I glanced over at the clock. Four in the morning. "No, not a problem at all"
"Really glad to know you're not too seriously hurt. Listen, I tried calling the hospital, but they said you'd already been discharged, so I took a gamble and tried the number Gina gave me when we exchanged insurance details... I'm really sorry about the accident, I was totally not paying attention to the road..."
"Hey, don't worry about it, I'm the one who was driving like a drunken maniac anyways " I silently smacked my forehead for making a totally miserable attempt at a joke. Gina was right. I did have a god-awful sense of humor.
"No seriously, I feel really bad about the whole thing, so I was wondering if I could treat to you to a dinner sometime in the next few days before the band has to return to Florida"
"Lemme check my planner". I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Yeah, looks like the next couple of days are free. How about this Friday evening?"
"Great, that'll be perfect! That's our night off. When and where do you want to meet?"
"How about the Boston U Student Union at five-thirty? You know where that is?"
"Yeah I think so. Alright, see you there!"
Click. I looked at the receiver for a couple of moments, unable to believe for a moment that I was going to have dinner with Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys. Then I dialed Gina's number to break the news to her, and regretted it moments later once the ear-piercing squeals of delight came back over the phone. Most definitely a very weird day...
Chapter 4
I paced restlessly around the living room. It'd been two days since the accident, and I'd recovered somewhat, although I still felt at times like a whole mass of bruises. Having been confined to my apartment the past two days, the lack of activity had driven me up the wall, so I was looking forward to getting out of the apartment and meeting Kevin.
I looked at the clock. Four-thirty. "Damn, still an hour to go" I thought, as I plunked myself down at the computer and switched it on. Almost by habit, I started surfing, and before I knew it, ended up in an all-too familiar chat room for Boston gays. I shuddered... I'd promised myself only two weeks ago that I would never ever go cruising online again. Seeing HIS handle in the chat room window only made it worse... I quickly closed Explorer before HE could private me, and I tried my best to suppress the dark memories that seeing HIS name had aroused.
The doorbell rang. I swung the door open to see Gina with a wall-to-wall grin plastered on her face. She'd badgered me incessantly to let her accompany me to the "rendezvous" with Kevin, claiming that I needed an escort since I was technically still an invalid. I suspected that the chance to get a photograph with Kevin was just as strong a motivating factor, but quickly caved in. Gina had a way of getting what she wanted, whether it was with a strong twist to the arm, or the proper application of gentle emotional "persuasion".
Oblivious to my thoughts, she flounced in, gave me the once-over, and raised an eyebrow. "You know, given the fact that you're meeting a Backstreet Boy for dinner, you might wanna dress up a little from your usual unhip standard".
Inwardly, I groaned. Gina was on yet another of her fashion-kicks in which my attire usually ended up being the butt of her jokes. "Come on, Ginny, I think khakis and a sweater is plenty dressy".
She shrugged. "Not like it matters, since neither of you is gay..." My heart thumped and my throat went a little dry. Was that a questioning tone at the end of what she had just said?
I quickly grabbed my coat and opened the door. "Sooo... it's a nice day out, and we've got some time to kill, what say we go for a stroll?"
Gina narrowed her eyes. She knew me too well; she knew that I was trying to change the topic, but let it pass. We strolled out into a gorgeous Boston evening. The sky was clear, with that deepening shade of blue and the barest hint of clouds on the horizon. I took a deep breath of the warm spring air and felt a lightness of being that I hadn't experienced in a while.
"Alan?"
"Yeah?"
"You okay? You've seemed kinda down these past two weeks, but I haven't really had a chance to talk to ya..."
I swallowed, forcing down a sudden lump in my throat. "Ginny? I'm fine now, okay? I'll tell you about it sometime, but let's just enjoy the evening for now" We kept on walking down the quiet street, until Ginny started recounting the juicier gossip that had been circulating around the graduate students about some of the profs in the department. I couldn't help but smile; Ginny often knew exactly what to say to lighten my moods.
Before we knew it, we'd arrived at the Boston Student Union. I looked at my watch. Five-twenty five. Hordes of college students were streaming by on the sidewalk, but I looked anxiously around anyway.
A hand clapped down on my shoulder...
"Hey, Alan"
I spun around...
Chapter 5
There he was. Kevin. It was somewhat unsettling to see a bona fide celebrity up close.
Gina, of course, was the first to break the ice. She immediately jumped into the fray and started chatting him up. While she did so, I took the chance to take a closer look at him, since the first time we'd met, I'd been kinda out of it from the accident.
Kevin was even more attractive in person than I'd imagined. Clear emerald eyes, sharp features... a well-trimmed goatee... shoulder length hair tied back in a tight ponytail... in other words, a total hunk. Then I noticed what he was wearing... khakis and a sweater, exactly the same combination I was wearing. I choked down a laugh, but launched a smirk in Gina's direction. Apparently, she had noticed as well, since she surreptitiously rolled her eyes at me when Kevin was momentarily distracted by a call on his cell phone. We continued to make idle chitchat for a while, but Gina finally excused herself after noticing the frantic shooing motions I'd been directing at her.
Kevin turned to me. I gulped, once again noticing how ungodly handsome he was up close, but refusing to let my thoughts wander further in that direction.
"Hey, Kevin, sorry about that... Gina's kinda a huge fan, and she can get a little overenthusiastic sometimes".
"Don't worry about it... she seemed really nice. I was more than happy to talk for a bit. Hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of making reservations. Have you ever heard of Wasabe?"
It was all I could do to keep my mouth from hanging open. "Wasabe? Geezus, that's like the yuppiest, not to mention THE most expensive restaurant in town. I heard from friends the appetizers alone run upwards of fifty bucks..." I stopped myself from babbling on.
"No worries, I'm paying, remember? I'm a big fan of Asian food, and I figured you wouldn't mind some sushi?"
I silently chided myself; Kevin was a member of a group with worldwide fame and success that had sold millions upon millions of CDs. Of course he could afford a meal that would probably cost the amount I spent on groceries at Meijiers every month. "Yeah, of course, I'm always up for some sushi... and hey, I get to see how the rich people live, for once" I joked.
His eyes dimmed for a moment. I was taken aback and wondered whether I had said anything to offend him, but the look of sorrow that had flashed across his face was gone.
"Okay, so Wasabe it is then. From what I could find out, it's near here, so why don't we walk?"
"Yeah, that might be safer, given that we've already crashed into each other once". I smiled to soften the joke. Apparently, Kevin got the sarcasm, since he smiled right back, which had the unintended side effect of making me weak in the knees. I made a mental note to never again underestimate the effect of being at the receiving end of a dazzling smile from a true blue BSB hunk.
I was saved from embarrassment and just the littlest bit amused when Kevin's cellphone rang and started playing an electronic melody from Prince's Purple Rain album. He quickly answered it with an apologetic glance in my direction.
While he was busy talking, I took the chance to review what I knew about BSB and Kevin. Having never been a real fan of the group, I'd made use of the last two days to bone up on the group and its songs so that I wouldn't be caught off guard if I'd to talk to Kevin about his group. Gina had even allowed me to borrow her "Black and Blue" and "Millennium" CDs after much ribbing and teasing on her part. In the process, I'd gained a real appreciation for their music, which I'd always dismissed before as bubblegum pop.
"Alan? Sorry, business stuff"
I snapped out of my reverie. "Don't worry about it, you guys must be really busy right now, what with the new album being released just such a short while ago".
"Yeah, it's been kinda crazy, so the break in Boston has been really nice". Before he could elaborate, we'd arrived the art-deco-ish exterior of Wasabe. The host hastily ushered us in and settled us in a private booth, earning several hostile glares from people who, from the look of things, had been waiting in line for quite some time.
Wasabi was kinda hard to peg down, but it looked like an anime fan had been in charge of decorating the interior, with the end result being that the entire place looked like one gigantic splash of riotous colors and images.
"By the way, you mentioned you were on a short break? Is that why you and Brian were in town?"
"Yeah, one of AJ's best friends is a grad student at Harvard and she was getting married, so we came down here to serenade at her wedding and have some fun in Boston while we were at it. That's why me and Brian had to rush off for the dress rehearsal. Anyway, Alan, if you don't mind me asking, what were you and Gina giggling about earlier?"
"Oh" I blushed. "Umm, well, she'd been teasing me earlier about not dressing up enough for a Backstreet Boy, so we both found it kinda amusing when you showed up wearing a similar outfit to mine".
His mouth quirked. "Really? That's funny... I usually prefer darker clothing, but I thought I'd fit into the college crowd better this way... Anyway, so tell me about yourself"
"Ummm... okay... what would you like to know?"
Kevin leaned back and spread his hands. "Anything, whatever you feel like telling me" He smiled and starting counting on his fingers. "Well, I do know your name is Alan, and from your looks, you're obviously Asian, but that's about it, so start talking..." His smile broadened.
"Okay, here goes, but I have a tendency to babble, so be forewarned..." Seeing that Kevin was undeterred, I forged on. "Well, my full name is Alan Soon Hui Tang, but most friends just call me Alan or Al. And yes, I'm Asian. My parents moved to California from Taiwan when I was one. I did a bachelor's in political science at Berkeley and decided to continue my education in being a professional slacker by starting a Phd program here in political and ethnic studies at Boston University two years ago. Ummm... okay, what else, I have to confess; I'm more into alternative than mainstream pop. Okay, that's enough about me... it's payback time. What about you, Mr. Kevin Richardson? What deep, dirty secrets can you reveal, Mr. Kentucky Boy?" I tried to adopt a mock- avaricious expression, only to realize how miserably I'd failed when Kevin started chuckling.
"Alright, alright. My full name is Kevin Scott Richardson, and I'm a member of a singing group called the Backstreet Boys" He grinned impishly. "It's a nice little hobby, and it's been moderately successful".
Now, I'm usually a fairly shy guy, so I don't know why I did what I did next. Maybe it was because of Kevin's friendly manner, or maybe because I was becoming more comfortable in his presence, but in any event, I reached over and smacked him lightly on the forehead.
Kevin assumed an expression of mock-hurt. "Ow! What did do that for?"
I smirked. "You deserved that dope slap... I said I wanted the gory details, Mr. Richardson, and I meant it; what you just told me I could have grabbed off any of the numerous internet sites devoted to you. So, seriously, what's being in Backstreet like?"
His eyes took on a thoughtful look. "It's tiring, for sure, but really rewarding. I've said this many times before, but you just get this huge rush going up on stage, you know? It really makes the endless touring all worthwhile. Oh, and of course, it helps to have four really close friends in the group. We've been together so long, it's almost like we're family" He smiled, but I heard the faintest hint of a catch in his voice when he said that.
"Can't hurt to be rich too" I drawled sardonically, but regretted what I said when I saw the hurt flash in his eyes again. "So, tell me, did you write any songs on "Black and Blue"?", I asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Kevin's expression brightened. "Yeah, I wrote a couple of slower songs on the new album, and I've come up with a couple more for the next one. Hopefully, they'll make it into the final cut".
"Cool! I wish I had that kind of artistic ability. My creative ability is limited to the extent of arranging songs"
Kevin leaned forward, a spark of interest in his eyes: "Oh? Do you sing too?"
"Well, yeah..." I fidgeted a little. "I've been in a co-ed college a capella group for the last two years called Decaphonics. Our repertoire's pretty varied, but consists mostly of alternative music. We usually leave music by N'Sync and BSB to the all-guy groups on campus. The group's been around for six years, and we get a fair number of gigs, although we've still got some way to go before getting as big as you guys", I joked.
"So which songs have you arranged?"
"Well, I've arranged about six songs so far, but I guess my favorite one thus far is "When Doves Cry" by Prince"
"That's pretty awesome. One of my favorite artistes is Prince"
"Yeah, I know, you said so on your website".
Kevin raised an eyebrow. "You've been doing your research, I see..."
I blushed furiously and stammered, "Well, umm... you see..."
He laughed, "it's okay, I was just teasing ya".
Our waiter arrived at that point with menus. I took a look, and literally bugged when the prices proved to be even steeper than I'd imagined. Kevin, on the other hand, hardly blinked, even suggesting ordering the hundred-dollar sushi plate as an opening appetizer. We wrangled over what to order for a bit, his wish to treat me to a sumptuous dinner at war with my guilt at ordering such exorbitant dishes, but I finally caved in.
As dinner proceeded, we continued to chat, and we found that we shared a number of similar interests, such as the fact that we both counted the Shawshank Redemption and Babe among our favorite movies. I found myself fighting a losing battle to avoid being increasingly drawn to the mature, thoughtful and attractive man before me. Kevin was a great listener, and something about his presence was very reassuring and comforting.
"So, Kevin, honestly, could you see yourself doing this for the rest of your life?"
"Well, I guess somewhere much, much further down the road, when I get way too old to perform anymore, I'll consider quitting. Even then, I would still be involved in the music industry in some way, whether it be writing or producing". He looked away for a moment, eyes wistful, "I know I talk about the rush of performing and all, but there is a sense of fulfillment you get the end of a day when you've done a good job and you know your fans are satisfied. Besides, being a successful artist allows me to push for the kinds of causes I believe in".
"Yeah Kevin, I understand, my dad died of cancer too".
He silently nodded. I'd read online how his dad's death had torn him inside, and how painful it still was for him to openly talk about it. We continued eating for a while, before I suddenly remembered to check my watch.
Eight ten. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed...
Chapter 6
... "dammit, I forgot about rehearsal tonight! It's supposed to be in ten minutes!"
"Well, let's call for the check then". He whipped a VISA card out of his wallet and handed it to our waiter.
"Shit... sorry Kevin, I wish I didn't have to run off this early, but the concert's in a month and a half, and we still have tons of stuff to do..."
"Don't worry, I totally understand... hey, do you think anyone would mind if I sat in on rehearsal?"
My eyes must have bugged at that point, because Kevin looked a little crestfallen and murmured something about a joke.
"Oh, of course you can come... I was just a little surprised, that's all". I smiled to reassure him. "I'm sure the rest of the group will be more than a little glad to have you there. Maybe you can even help with some of our choreography, since sometimes it seems like all the guys in the group have two left feet when it comes to singing and dancing at the same time".
"Great! Let's get going so we won't be late then"
We rushed out and took a cab over to the music school where the rehearsal was. I had doubts about bringing Kevin to rehearsal, worried that the rest of the group might have trouble focusing if a celebrity was present. At the same time, I really wanted to introduce Kevin to a group that had been a huge part of my life these past two years.
We got there pretty quickly, and I rushed into the room as warm-ups had already started. Gina turned to give me a hug, but stared in shock when she saw who had entered the room before me. Her expression was mirrored to varying degrees in the faces of my other friends in the room.
I quickly moved to try and defuse the awkward situation. "Hey guys, this is Kevin. I'm sure you all know him. We were having dinner, and he wanted to sit in and listen to us. Hope no one objects?" I pleaded.
Gina, astute as ever, quickly picked up my cue. "Of course not! We'd be more than glad if you could even give us some pointers... Alan and some of the other guys here just seem to have rocks for feet when it comes to choreograph". I'd heard better jokes from Gina, but there was nervous laughter, and the tension had been broken.
Although people were still nervous with Kevin around, we quickly got into the groove of things and started working on a few songs from our repertoire, including "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls, and "Unsent" by Alanis. I glanced at Kevin from time to time, afraid he'd feel ignored, but he smiled at me every time and seemed to be really enjoying himself.
Rehearsal was going well until we hit a snag with "Kung-Fu Fighting", which was one of our dancier numbers. Like Gina said, the guys in the group just couldn't seem to follow the choreography and hold a tune at the same time. We were all getting frustrated, since this was a problem that had bugged us since the beginning of the semester.
Kevin, noticing this, started making a couple of suggestions for changes in the choreography. Before we knew it, he had re-choreographed most of the song, making it much simpler and yet more energetic. He also suggested a couple of shifts in vocal parts for other songs. By the end of rehearsal, everyone in the group regarded him with a newfound respect, and Kevin appeared really satisfied as well.
Before we knew it, rehearsal came to an end. Julia, one of the younger members, looked apprehensive for a while, and then approached Kevin.
"Umm... Kevin? Would you like to come with the rest of us to the local pizzeria? We usually hang out there after rehearsal"
A look of surprise flashed across Kevin's face, and he broke into a smile. "Of course, if you guys don't mind having an old fart like me around!"
We made our way to the pizzeria. Unfortunately, I didn't get as much of a chance to talk to Kevin, since the younger members of the group, like Julia and Pete, basically monopolized his attention the entire time. The situation only worsened when we got there, since now everyone in the group wanted to talk to him. I began to feel increasingly annoyed. As far as I can recall, my exact thoughts at that time were, "Well, the only reason he's here is because we were having dinner together. Why isn't he talking to me?"
Realizing that I was going to blow my top in jealous rage if the situation continued, I hastily excused myself for the night. Kevin looked up in surprise as I was leaving.
Walking out into the night air, I realized how silly I'd been. It wasn't like Kevin was a friend, let alone a boyfriend. The man was married, for crying out loud. It certainly seemed like we'd bonded during dinner, though.
Lost in my reverie, I was a little surprised when Kevin came up beside me. "Hey, stranger, why the sudden hurry to leave?"
Startled, I stammered, "Oh, umm, nothing really, just realized it was really late and I had stuff to get done"
"Well, want some company?"
"Yeah, sure. Don't you need to leave early tomorrow though?"
"It'll be okay, I'll power nap on the plane"
We strolled on, just enjoying the quiet and crisp spring air, until Kevin broke the silence as we were nearing my apartment. "Hey, Alan, I wanted to thank you. I had a great evening tonight"
"What? You thank me? Should be the other way around, don't you think? You were the one who paid for dinner" I smiled at him.
"No, seriously, I really needed to not have the whole celebrity thing intrude into my life tonight and be reminded of how hectic my life can sometimes be. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would have been like if I'd gone to college instead of jumping straight into showbiz... I think I got a little taste of that tonight".
A trifle embarrassed by the sincerity in his voice, I was more than a little relieved when we reached my apartment. Kevin seemed slightly distant, so I asked, "Kevin, anything wrong?"
"Well..." the reluctance plain in his voice, "oh what the heck, I don't know why I'm telling you this, but things between me and Kristin haven't been going all that well lately"
I was taken aback. Kristin. Kevin's wife. My mind was reeling, but that was nothing compared to what he said next.
"Actually, I should be honest; things are going terribly. We're annulling the marriage in a couple of days, but the Firm is trying to keep it hush-hush and everything"
"Oh my god..." my mind was struggling to cope with Kevin's revelation. "I hope this doesn't come across as totally trite, but do you need to talk?"
"No, it's okay. I think the difficult part is knowing how the media are going to blow it up. It's hard enough losing going through a separation, let alone doing it in the spotlight. That's why I just needed to be plain old Kevin tonight, rather than Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys. You gave me that..."
Before I knew it, he'd grabbed me in a huge hug. Startled at first, I hugged back and mentally chastised myself for noticing how firm his back muscles were. We hugged for what seemed like forever, and as we disengaged, I felt a light brush against my cheek. My mind froze... had he kissed me?
We stood there in silence for a while, before Kevin spoke. "Hey, I really should go. The rest of the guys are probably wondering where I am. Thanks for tonight".
"Yeah, no problem" My heart was beating rapidly as I asked, "hey, do you want to exchange emails? I was thinking we could stay in touch..."
He smiled. "Sure, that'd be great!"
After exchanging contact info and promising to stay in touch, we both turned and walked away, he into the darkness, and me into my apartment. I closed the door and tried desperately to get the feel of his strong firm body against mine out of my head.
"It has been one interesting day," I thought to myself as I walked to what now seemed like a cold and empty bed.
A week later, while browsing in a Borders store, I saw a headline on a tabloid newspaper, which screamed:
BACKSTREET SHOCKER : KEVIN DIVORCED!!!
To be continued...
Author ------
So, any comments? It's developing a little slowly, which is the way I intended it to be, but things will begin to pick up in the next several installments.
Ajantis