Ice Storm

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ICE STORM

Written By: Bill Hudley

The boss cut us all loose today at 2:30pm. The rain and sleet we've had all day is projected to become a major ice storm later tonight. I work in the city but my heart is on the farm where I grew up. I live 19 miles from work and a normal commute is 25 to 35 minutes. Today was the exception, the traffic looked like rush hour, but then I suppose it was rush hour with everyone closing early.

When I was about five or six miles from the farm, the rain and sleet became so heavy I pulled over and parked at an underpass. The wind was strong, adding to the already miserable conditions and some rain and sleet even blew through the underpass. I sat there, motor running and thought about what I had to do when I got home, getting the livestock into the barn would be first, then firewood for when the power goes out.

I had heating oil in 5 gallon cans in the shed out behind the kitchen for lamps and heat if the firewood runs out.

Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move up at the top of the underpass. My first thought was a large dog was waiting out the storm. I lowered the passenger side window to see what was there.

Now I could see that it was a person. I jumped out of my truck and approached the incline up to where the person sat. Cupping both hands to my mouth I shouted to the person up there.

"Come down, get warm in my truck before you freeze to death!"

There was no movement. Fearing the worst I charged up the steep incline and saw a young man in his late teens or early twenties, I guessed. He couldn't speak he was so chilled. I picked him up and managed to get him in my truck, it was then that I saw his skin was a blueish color, I hurriedly turned the truck around and headed straight to the Hospital ER as fast as I could go on the icy roads, it was only a few miles back toward the city. Once in the ER, nurses piled blankets on him, and wheeled him off for more urgent care. I had taken possession of his belongings before they rolled him into the ER I looked in his wallet but there was no driver's license, only a student ID card from the local community college. His name is Keaton Cannon, and he's 19.

I called the phone number on the card and woman answered. I asked if Keaton Cannon was her son and she said he was, I was telling her how I had found him, when a man came on the line yelling, they didn't want to hear anything about him.

"We're through with him. We don't have a son anymore." he yelled and slammed down the phone.

I sat and brooded about that for a bit. My mind flashed back to my Dad, and how afraid I was to tell him that I'm gay, fearing he would be done with me like Keaton's father had just proclaimed about his son. I wondered if it was this was the reason for his banishment. My father never `disowned' me, but I was keenly aware that he truly thought that being gay was my choice. I left home then. I couldn't bear seeing the

resentment he showed toward me. I hadn't returned home before my Dad and Mom were killed in an auto accident. We never reconciled.

Now the bank and I own my 85 acre farm, I work in the city as an Electrical Engineer with a large regional construction company. I worked hard and put myself through college while I was estranged from my Dad.

My brother had no interest in the farm and I managed to buy him out, I've always held this place dear to my heart, somehow I'm tied to this patch of land, it anchors me and keeps me here, it is my roots, I've always loved this place. Dad bought it when I was just four years old, I don't remember living anywhere else.

I'm 28 years old and I've never had an actual relationship, only fleeting nights with someone I thought I needed at the time. Over the past twelve years I've been with five different men. I know I'm not ugly, but no one would call me handsome. My eyes are a brilliant green (my best feature I'm told), my skin tone is ruddy, my hair a dark red, Auburn in the winter time and a lighter orange-red in the summer. There are plenty of Freckles on my body, enough for two or three people I thought. I'm 6'2" and weigh in at about 175 to 180, depending on the season. Cat Head biscuits and Sausage gravy in the winter keep me nearer the 180 mark. My body isn't ripped and toned like a gym rat but I'm hard and lean, my muscles are from farm work, one man running 85 acres is almost impossible, but doing it while holding down a full-time job keeps me always behind in the never-ending maintenance and repairs and planting.

I seem to have a compulsive aversion to the bars and clubs that are the center of activity for gay men in our city. I've never felt comfortable being in a gay bar or dance club. I know it's all because of my messed up head. I have to find a way to co-exist with who I am and the gay lifestyle that they guys in my town seem to prefer. In a city as big as Louisville there must be guys like me but I have no idea where to find them.

I was relieved when after about three hours, a doctor came out and told me that Mr. Cannon would be kept at least overnight, explaining that almost all hypothermia patients are monitored for a minimum of 12 hours.

I was not yet allowed to see him so I asked the doctor to let Mr. Cannon know I would be back here in the morning to check on him. I explained that he had nowhere to go and I was going to offer him temporary shelter in my home.

I reluctantly left him there, hoping that he would get my message that I'll be back here in the morning. Meanwhile I had to get home and tend to the livestock on the farm.

After getting the cattle, chickens and my horse all fed and bedded down, I took out yesterdays pot of soup and warmed in on the old wood stove. in the kitchen. I'd kept the old stove because it was what my Mom cooked on and it fit the old farmhouse. I only fired it up in the coldest weather for the heat and the hot water tank. when the power goes out it takes a while for the crews to get out in the country repairing downed power lines. The stove provided heat and hot water when the power was out.

I called the hospital to ask about young Mr. Cannon but I was told that only family could be given that information. No explanation I could give would suffice, I ran into the proverbial `brick wall' with every argument I tried. I knew with this storm my office would remain closed and I would drive in to collect the boy. First off, I decided that with the ice and snow predicted for the wee hours I would put the tire chains on the truck. I drove it into the barn hallway and shut the doors to keep the howling wind at bay. I got the chains on in about a half hour. Big Red, my horse watched my every move with his head out his stable door. I talked to him just about all the time I was there, which is normal for me. I talk more with my horse than I do with people it seems. Before I left I checked to make certain his horse blanket was securely buckled I told him about the boy, how I had found him and that I would be bringing him here to the farm, while I mucked out his stall.

Just a bit after 1:00pm the boy came walking into the waiting area, I saw him look around and knew he had no clue who had brought him here. I stood up and held out my hand.

"My name is John Brown, I know it sounds phony, especially from a stranger, but it is who I am, for real! I had to look in your wallet to get your name for the Hospital, so I know you're Keaton Cannon."

I asked if there was anyplace he wanted to go and he kept his eyes downcast and said that he didn't have anywhere to go. After hearing his father rant that he no longer had a son when I had called his home, I knew I'd take him in until he was on his feet with a job and a place of his own. Looking outside, I could see that the daylight was fading and there seemed to be no let up in the sleet, I knew I had better get started back to the farm soon, the livestock couldn't feed themselves.

"Everyone calls me Jack. If you've no place to go, then you come with me. I have to get home soon and you're welcome to ride out this storm, warm and cozy at my place. I have a small farm a few miles out-of-town.

I'm not a pervert or weirdo, you'll have a room to yourself with a lock on the door if you feel the need for it. Is that okay with you?

"Do you meant it? I could be a psycho serial killer! You know nothing about me."

"I called the number on the Student ID card in your wallet, Keaton. I spoke to your Mom, then your father got on the phone and I know enough to think you could use a friend about now. I've plenty of room and you'll be welcome to stay there. I live alone with a big dog, my Horse, 22 head of Hereford Cattle and lord only knows how many chickens. The weather is turning for the worse, we need to get on the road. Are you coming?"

"Y...Yes...Mr. Brown. Thank you...they told me you brought me in here and you likely saved my life."

"It was just pure luck that I saw you move out of the corner of my eye.

When I got you into the truck, you were turning blue so I brought you here to the hospital pronto. It was the ER team that saved your life, I just drove you here."

"I thought I was going to die in that storm. You rescued me. I'll forever be in your debt."

"Let's go Keaton, and please call me Jack."

I had remembered that Keaton was wearing only a light jacket and threw a wool army blanket in the truck when I left the house. As we got ready to leave I took off my jacket and put in on him and we dashed out to the truck. I had left it idling so it would be warm inside. The heater in the truck as high as it would go but Keaton was shivering in his thin jeans and my heavy parka, he wrapped the blanket around his legs. I was almost sweating with the heater on high.

I had my hands full driving on the ice which had covered the road, we crept along slowly even with the tire chains and 4-wheel drive on my truck. In less than thirty minutes I pulled into the car port at the farm and hustled Keaton into the kitchen. I opened the wood stove in the kitchen and saw that the breakfast embers were still glowing, so I tossed in some tinder and got the blaze alight, added the kindling then the firewood. The kitchen would be warm in a matter of a few minutes. I pulled the left over pot of vegetable/beef soup from the fridge and sat it on the stove to warm. I warmed a cup of this morning's coffee in the microwave and gave it to him to warm up his insides too. Keaton kept my parka on, poor kid, he's still chilled to his bones.

After he ate some soup, I led Keaton upstairs to the spare room, my Brother's old room actually. I found some of his old jeans pushed way back to the end of the closet, they almost fit Keaton, maybe one size too large. Anyway, they would do for around here. I found an old sweatshirt I've outgrown and tossed it over to him. I showed him the bathroom and urged him to fill the tub with hot water and stay in it until he warmed up. When he came downstairs after the soak bath I took time to look him over and decided that Keaton Cannon was a quite a very nice looking young man. When he smiled at me my stomach did a flip-flop.

"Keaton, I have to go out and get the livestock bedded down and feed them all, I'll be about an hour doing it all."

"Mr. Brown, uh...I mean Jack, let me help, please. I used to work on my granddad's farm every summer, I can help feed and pen them up, if you have another Jacket I can wear.""

"Thanks Keaton, maybe tomorrow, but not tonight. You shouldn't be out there just yet. I'll put some blankets on the couch and maybe you and find something to watch on the TV if the satellite isn't blocked by this storm. I won't be too long, the cattle are in the shed by now, I'll just throw down some hay and give the water, I'll be done in about 20 minutes, you get yourself warm, okay."

"Yes Sir...but...I...I want to help you any way I can."

I got him bundled up and settled on the sofa, he looked up to me and smiled, I could see he was still cold so I got my Mom's electric blanket from the hall linen closet, plugged in and put it on him under the other blankets. I went out and across the barn lot and found the cows already in the sheds on both sides of the barn. It took me a few minutes to break ice coating the sliding door track and wrestle them closed in the sleet and howling wind, next I went up the ladder to the loft and began breaking open bales of hay and tossing it into the loft chutes that led to the racks below. In minutes the cattle were contentedly chewing away and water in their trough.

I checked Big Red's feet, cleaned them out a bit, put his favorite sweet feed in his feed box, then rechecked his heavy horse blanket and fetched him a bucket of fresh water I'd brought up from the house. I ran my fingers through his mane, warding off future tangles, rubbed his ears and tickled his nose. Big Red and my dog Bear are the only living things that I truly love, a sad state for a 28 year old man.

On the way back to the house I ran over to the Hen House and fed the chickens. I turned the chick brooder on, the heat from the bulbs would help as long as the power stays on. By the time I was back in the kitchen, Keaton's cheeks had a robust glow and he seemed happy and full of life, he's like 180° from the poor guy I took to the hospital. He shed the layers of blankets, stood and tugged up the jeans up that were too loose on his tiny waist. I studied him closely for the first time.

Keaton stood about 5'8" or so, he's very thin or lean, his eyes are startlingly blue, his hair a dark blonde, I imagine it will have lighter streaks in the summer sun. His facial features were the almost the classic surfer boy look with his shock of unruly hair. I imagined his legs tanned in the sun and densely covered in hair so blonde it looked white against his tanned skin. I felt a stir in my crotch looking at him. I shook my head to rouse myself and break from this reverie. The last thing I need is to fall for a college kid, little did I know then just how hard that fall would be.

I made us cornmeal Hoecakes and we finished up the pot of vegetable soup for our supper. Keaton ate nearly three bowls of soup, a stack of Hoecakes and two glasses of milk. When I finished, Keaton jumped up and took the dishes to the sink, rinsed them out and put them in the dishwasher.

"Jack...what do you like for breakfast? I can cook fairly well and I need to do something for you. You've given me so much. There just isn't anyway to repay you for all you've done." "I'm certain I won't be going to work in the morning...there's bacon, eggs, frozen biscuits, ham and sausage. I?m not a picky, I'll eat whatever you fix Keaton, and be thankful I didn't have to cook it"

I didn't even bother to turn on the TV, with this weather I knew the satellite signal would be disrupted. I fetched us two mugs of hot, black coffee, turned on the radio for the news, started a fire in the fireplace, told Keaton to wrap up in on the couch and I settled into my easy chair. We both were asleep in minutes I woke sometime after 4:00 in the morning to a chilled room, I saw that the fireplace held only dying embers and the wood stove was already cold. I quickly tossed tinder and kindling onto the embers and the tinder flared up and the kindling caught fire, I added pieces of firewood and went to start a fresh pot of coffee.

After the fireplace caught I took a piece of burning wood and put in into the Warm Morning stove, tossed in tinder and kindling and the room was warm and toasty in about 15 minutes. I looked at the piled up blankets on the couch and at first I thought Keaton wasn't there, but finally I saw his nose peeking out, the only part of him not covered by the blankets. After stoking firewood in the kitchen stove, I headed up to my room, stopping at the hall closet to get another blanket to put over Keaton. I went to the east facing a window and could see the sky brightening on the horizon and knew daylight would soon begin creeping its way slowly toward us, a sheen of ice coated everything in sight and the sleet was still coming down. If this holds true to form, we'll have a few inches of snow on top of the ice by tomorrow night. I turned and went back to the kitchen, picked up a pad and pen and took stock of the food provisions, making notes of what's needed on a pad. All my lumbering about the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets, woke Keaton and he roused from his blanket nest and stretched himself awake.

When Keaton stood and raised his arms stretching and yawning, the tee shirt rode up exposing his hard, flat stomach while the too large jeans slipped down to cover only half of his round little butt. I went bone hard in seconds! The lower abdomen of a fit and trim young man, from the navel to his pubes, is a very special erogenous zone for me. Keaton's right hand grabbed at the jeans to keep them from going to the floor. I saw the terror on Keaton's face, fearing he'd be naked in front of me, he blushed crimson.

"Sorry about those jeans, Keaton. I need to go into town for provisions, there'll be snow behind all this ice. You want to come with me and we'll get you some jeans that fit."

My hard cock still throbbed, I Kept myself behind the furniture to keep it hidden from him. While he was folding up his blankets, I slipped by him and up to my room without him seeing my bulging crotch; not that I expected him to look there.

The hardest part of the trip back into town was getting from the house to the main road. My 'driveway' is nearly a mile long from the highway to the house. Even with 4-wheel drive it wasn't an easy drive by any means, but it was much better than in a car. We carefully made our way into town in about 45 minutes, the Farmer's Co-Op was our first stop, for feed for the chickens, salt blocks for the cattle, more sweet feed for Red, and then on to WallyWorld for extra batteries, milk, and various groceries on my list. I sent Keaton to the Men's Department to find some jeans. I joined him while he was looking at the hoodies. I looked at the jeans he was wearing and felt myself hardening again. This kid has the body that low rider jeans were made for. Smiling at him, I told him that the ones he had own aren't for farm work but he should keep them and that he'll need to pick out some khakis and regular work jeans, and flannel shirts also. No one within 50 feet of him would be working once they see his body in these low riders! JEEZUS! I'm still hard just looking at him!

I led him over to the heavy coats and told him to pick out what he wanted and to get a fleece hoodie too. Staying fully clothed and in light jackets in the house helped to reduced the amount of wood and fuel oil we would use when it gets bitter cold out there. Back at home, we took the things for the house in from the truck, and then drove into the barn lot with the feed and salt blocks. Once everything was stowed away and the animals fed and watered, we went the chicken coop and collected the eggs, then fed and watered them too. Back in the warmth of the kitchen we finished the pot of vegetable soup for lunch. Again Keaton had the dishes rinsed and in the dishwasher before I finished my cup of coffee.

I excused myself and went up to my room, telling Keaton I had some paperwork to do. I closed the door, stripped my jeans and boots off, sat at the computer and pulled up my favorite porn videos. I had my release in less than five minutes.

The storm lasted for three days, with the sleet stopping after about 36 hours, then it snowed for another 24 hours. After the snow, the temp plunged into the low teens... and stayed there. Some time during the fourth day of the snow and ice, I realized that I?m really enjoying having Keaton here these past few days.

There was no sign of the weather warming up and I knew I had to get in to work in the morning. Auto accidents were happening at a fearsome rate, the only saving grace being that there was not much speed involved, and no serious injuries to date. That night after dinner, we were sitting near the fire and I told Keaton that I would be driving in to work tomorrow.

"Keaton, it's too cold for you to look for a job just yet, there's just no place to go to get warm. You wanna just stay here? I'm enjoy your being here, us doing the chores together...I never knew what I was missing...before."

I saw Keaton lower his head and a blush crept up his neck and he nodded his head yes. When he looked up I saw tear stains on his cheeks.

"Hey Bud...did I say something wrong? What's is it?"

"It's... it's... just that... Jack, you've been so good to me, you've never asked me for anything. Not even why my father has disowned me.

Your generosity to a complete stranger overwhelms me at times. I'll clean up the place some and have you a good supper when you get in tomorrow tonight. It's a good feeling to know that there is something I can do for you. I'll take care of Big Red and Bear and the cows and chickens, and muck out what needs it. I'll be thrilled to have something to do for a change."

By the week end, the temp had risen enough to start the ice to melting; I kept the livestock in the barn until all the ice and snow had melted off the barn roof, melting ice sliding off a barn roof kills animals every year. They cows started their trek around the farm, eating grass from the few bare patches where the snow and ice had melted away. As always, they moved around the fields, following the sweetest grasses and always ended their day grazing the way back to the barn. Keaton and I settled into a routine; me going into the city to work and Keaton doing house chores and tending to the livestock and chickens with Bear's expert assistance.

For me, coming home to someone, was the best feeling ever. I was truly amazed what a difference having someone else in the house makes, I really like having Keaton here. At the barn I noticed that only one half of the sliding double doors for the sheds on each side of the barn was opened.

That was the way I normally kept them once cold weather sets in. Out back Keaton had broken the ice on the pond for the cows to drink.

Saturday morning a bit after 8:00am I answered my ringing phone, it was Keaton's mother calling. She had saved my cell number when I called from the hospital. I assured her that Keaton was fine and called him to the phone. I went back to my room, wanting to give them some privacy. After their talk Keaton told me that she had to wait for his father to leave the house long enough for her to call and ask about him. He said that she was sending me some money to give you for taking me in and taking such good care of me.

As we sat eating our Sunday supper, Keaton told me that he'd be going in with me tomorrow to look for a job. I knew his wardrobe was severely limited and I took him into town, Wallyworld was the only thing open after six on Sunday evening. He settled on more khakis, a blue button down oxford cloth shirt and a neat looking faux leather Bomber Jacket.

We were on our way out when I remembered shoes so we turned and picked up a pair of work shoes, socks and underwear and a Sunday Paper for the "Help Wanted' ads. I told Keaton that he had to have a cell phone for these places he where he applies for work to contact him. We swung by the electronics department as we were leaving and picked up a cell phone with prepaid minutes and no contract. It was nothing fancy, it didn't even have a camera, just a basic cell phone and he it set up and working in less than half an hour.

In the truck on our way home I saw Keaton writing something down. He looked over and saw my puzzled look I suppose.

"I'm keeping track of everything you spend on me Jack. I'll pay you back, I promise."

"That's not necessary Keaton, I like you being around. I don't want or expect you to pay me."

"Jack! I have to repay you, I can't stay here if you don't let me repay your kindness. I need to be on equal footing with you. I don't want anything to come between us as friends, owing a friend money can kill a friendship, and I will always want to be your friend. I gotta pay it all back Jack."

"Okay, I think I understand you, why you feel that need. I do appreciate you wanting to do that. It tells a lot about your character and proves I was right to offer you shelter here in my home, it only makes me like you more. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, use this address for your applications if you want." I said.

"Another thing Jack, when do you want me out of here? I know I have to get a place, I can't expect you to keep providing for me."

Suddenly I felt horrible, like I might even throw up. I've never thought a minute about him leaving. I don't want him to leave. But I know he will, he's a lot like me in many respects. I can't convince him to stay,

why would he? I'm 9 years older than him, and a frustrated gay farmer who has to work in town to keep the farm going, not a very bright prospect for a 19 year old. But despite all the negatives, the fact is, I'm already crazy for him. He's a good young man, a hard worker and he's been a great companion for me these past weeks. I don't want him to leave. Since that morning that he yawned and his jeans slipped down, he's been my masturbation fantasy. I knew that it wouldn't take much more for this old farm boy to fall in love. I so wanted to tell him that I never want him to leave.

"Only when you're ready Keaton, I know you want to get your own place and provide for yourself. I understand all that, but I know when the time comes, I'll be very, very sad to see you leave. We're good together. I want you to know that you can always come here, you're welcome here always, anytime night or day."

Later he came into the TV room and shyly asked it he could put my cell number into his phone. I took his phone and entered my cell and office numbers for him, and he loaded his new number into my phone.

For supper, he fixed steaks from the freezer that he had put out to thaw when we left that morning. We had pan fried steak, a baked potato, biscuits and coffee for dinner. After getting the kitchen squared away, Keaton spread out the ?Help Wanted' section of the paper on the kitchen table, marking the ads he liked and writing down the qualifications required. After he finished with the paper he asked if he could use my computer to research these places he'd found. I asked if they had company names in the paper but he said no, he was going to look them up with the white pages phone number reverse search. Just enter the phone number and the program provides the name of the person/business that has that number.

Before bed, Keaton was showing me the Corporate bios he had pulled off the internet showing the company structure, mission statements and the Better Business Bureau ratings for each. I was pleased to see that he was so well prepared. I got the feeling that he would be employed fairly soon. It happened on the third day he was actively looking for work. I got a call from him at work, so excited that he had found a job and would start in the morning.

Keaton's job was with a Construction Specialties company that sells and installs several different products. He would work in the warehouse office, maintaining the inventory records for parts used by installation crews installing the products. Few people know that a 6 foot chain link fence Corner post has over 60 separate parts required to hold the fence and barbed wire. He was proud of himself, I could hear the satisfaction in his voice. I knew then that he would do well and that I might as well resign myself to the fact that Keaton will be gone soon. That made me very sad.

Again I wondered about him. I've never seen one single thing that would make me think that Keaton could be gay outside of that phone call with his father. That made me think that he could be gay, but I really didn't know and nothing he said or did made me think so. What I do know is that I would keep him here with me if I could. After work we were on our way to the farm, Keaton was terribly excited and I decided we'd clean up and go have us a fancy restaurant celebration meal. I saw a Kohl's store and pulled into the parking lot. You need more clothes for work Keaton, do you have to wear a uniform or just casual clothes?

"It's all casual, but I just need a couple of things until I get my first check." Keaton said.

"You know that they'll hold back your first check, it'll be nearly a month before you see a paycheck, but don't worry, you know I won't let you wear the same clothes for a month! Relax and quit worrying about what I do for you. I like doing it. Just like I like you staying here with me. I'll really miss you once you leave Keaton."

We left with five work outfits, more underwear and socks (no, I did not get to see how the knit boxers fit him.) At the farm we dropped our bags in the house and headed out to the barn to feed and water. The weather was up into the mid 40's today with the same predicted for tomorrow, so I planned to let Big Red out into the paddock for some fresh grazing in the morning.

Back in the house I sent Keaton up with his clothes and told him he had an hour to shower and dress, meanwhile, I went to my room to do the same for or celebration meal. We were headed out to a local SteakHouse and an 8 ounce Filet Mignon with a Baked Potato, grilled sweet onions with red, green and yellow peppers in butter sauce with mini loaves of brown bread with honey butter. Keaton ate like he'd never have another meal, when he lay down his knife and fork he had a contented smile on his face. "Thank you Jack, that was the best meal I've ever had. You've spoiled me since we met. I want us to always be friends Jack. I'll never forget you and what you've done for me."

We were both quiet on the way back to the farm, both very full and contented with our celebration dinner. In the kitchen we removed our coats and hung them in the mud room. I poked around in the stove to get the embers glowing and put more wood in.

We watched TV for a while then Keaton got up saying he wanted to get his clothes ready for tomorrow, his first day at work. He was excited, more so that I have seen from him in the month he's been here. I got up too, planning to go to my room and get on the internet for a bit, while I was shutting the house down, Keaton started up to his room. Halfway up the stairs he turned and ran down them, rushed over to me and grabbed me in a big hug. I was startled at first, the knowing I might not get another chance, I hugged him tightly to me. A tremor ran through me then, When he laid his head on my chest and thanked me for being his friend, I bent over and kissed the top of his head and hugged him tighter to me.

"Thank you Keaton! I never knew I was missing so much in my life until you came into it. You've changed me and for the better, I'll always be grateful for this time we've spent together. You're a special young man and you will do well. Please remember that you can always call on me, I'll always be here for you."

He hugged me tightly and stepped away, he opened his mouth to say something but stopped. He leaned over and kissed my neck, turned and ran up to his room. I went to the kitchen to get a paper towel to mop up my tears. Our days together are numbered now, he'll be gone soon. What will become of me then?

When I came downstairs Monday morning Keaton was sitting at the table drinking coffee. He's been ready for his first day at work for about an hour already. I filled my insulated cup and we both grabbed our coats and hit the road. When I pulled up in front of Keaton's new office, he looked over to me and gave me a nervous smile.

"Wish me luck Jack."

"Good luck Keaton, just relax Bud, you'll do fine. I should be here about 5:00 to pick you up. Go get'em tiger. Show em what they've been missing. Call if you need anything. Later Bud.

He waved when he got to the door, I waved back and drove off. I can't remember a day when I felt so down. Everyone at work asked if I was okay, I wanted to say ?hell no I'm not okay,' but then I'd have to explain...wasn't any of their business anyway. Like always, Old Jack will keep all his feeling bottled up inside, never letting anyone get close. Except Keaton got close...he got close without even knowing it.

Damn I am one messed up, up tight, queer son of a bitch. I Can't even tell the guy I'm crazy for him, in love, not even in lust. Sure I'd make love with him in a heartbeat if that was what he wanted. But living with him for the past six weeks or so has shown me the man he's gonna be, the man he already is growing into. Fuck! What am I gonna do when he moves out?

Not long after lunch the boss called me into his office. Oh Fuck...what's been screwed up this time. Going to his office usually means he's sending me out somewhere to undo what someone else has fucked up. Sure enough, I have to go to St. Louis for a repair job at a beer brewery there. Damn I hated to go off and leave Keaton alone. He'll be fine, he's got his driver's license and can drive my truck while I'm away, he'll take care of the animals too. Usually I looked forward to these trips, away from home; it was when I usually went out looking for sex...but this time, the guy I wanted would be in my house and waiting for me to come back so he could move out and get away from me. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I just can't win in this love stuff.

Driving home that afternoon I told Keaton that I'd be going away on Wednesday and would have to let him know after I got to the St. Louis jobsite how long I'd be away.

"I'll miss you Jack but I'll take care of things here. Red, the cattle, the chickens and of course Bear." "I hate to put all that on you Keaton, I usually hire a guy at the Co-Op to come and feed the livestock. I don't want to go. I know our time together is getting short and I want to spend every day and night with you I can before you move on."

"Jack! I'll just be in town, you can stop anytime after work, I'll come and see you on weekends when I get wheels. We're best friends now. I need you more than ever now that I know you."

"You sure know the right things to say to an old guy, it's just that your being here has shown me that I lived a very lonely life before that Ice Storm brought you to me. It's you I'll be missing Keaton. But we'll get along I guess, hell...we have too."

"Once I get my debts paid, there's gonna be something I want to talk to you about Jack. But I gotta be through with owing you first...Don't say it...I know you don't want me to repay you, but I gotta, Jack. I gotta be able to stand equal with you and look you in the eye when we have that talk."

I looked over at him and saw the determination in his face. What ever it is he has to talk about, I can see it's really important to him. Damn his hide, why can't he be a little shit like the other kids his age, then again, he wouldn't be the Keaton I fell for if he was like the others his age. He's only 19 but already more of a man than lots of guys my age or older.

Wednesday, Keaton drove us to work in my truck and let me off at my job then drove on to his office. I took a cab to the Airport about 10:30 and flew out just a bit after noon to St. Louis. After looking over the job at hand I figured it would be Saturday before I could fly home. I got my butt in gear and dived into the work at hand and never once thought about going out to one of the bars.

I called Keaton after dinner and we talked for twenty minutes or more, mostly him telling me all the stuff he did today that we would have done together when I was there. But it was us talking, that made me feel better, just hearing his voice. When we finally hung up I went to take a leak and looked in the mirror.

I said to my reflection...'you're one fucked up mess John Brown, falling for a kid nine years younger than you, setting yourself up for a whole lot of heartache...coming at you real soon now. It serves your stupid ass right, falling for a kid! STUPID!' I sat down on the toilet and cried, sometime later I woke in bed, didn't remember getting there at all.

I dreamed of the Ice Storm, finding Keaton half frozen except in my dream he became my partner and lover, we slept together, made love and worked keeping the farm going. Everything I've always wanted. I didn't know it then, but that dream would be the one thing that kept me sane in the coming months.

Three weeks after I came back from St. Louis Keaton told me he and a guy where he worked were going to share an apartment. The place was close to their office and he could save more money for his goal. His friend was saving money to get married and they got along well. I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the gut, I thought I would puke right there in the truck. Keaton even asked if I was okay, he said I looked really pale.

There was nothing for me to do but accept the truth. Keaton was moving out, leaving me back where I was before the Ice Storm brought him into my life. All too quickly the day came, we loaded his things in bags and boxes, and tied a tarp over them in the bed of the truck. When he rang the doorbell at his new place a good-looking guy about his age opened the door and broke into a huge smile. My heart sank. I was certain that the roommate was interested in Keaton for a lot more than half the rent.

Keaton introduced me as his friend and I shook the roommates hand, passed off the boxes and bags and turned the truck around and went back home. I called into my boss and told him I had to take a couple of days off. Personal problems.

That first day he was gone I was drunk before dark and when I woke from my stupor at nearly 10pm I remembered I hadn't fed the stock or Red. I bundled myself up and headed out for the barn, cussing myself for being such a fool. To forget to feed the animals was unforgivable...these animals depend on me...it was past time for me to leave my private pity party and pull my weight around here.

When I finally got to sleep that night I had the Ice Storm dream again, we were happy, living together, loving together, just to guys in love, making our way through life together. I know that has to be a dream, my life just doesn't happen that way. The dream would come back ever 10 days or so. Just when I thought I was getting back to being Jack Brown, the loner, the dream would come again. I wanted the dream every night.

I was happy in the dream, Keaton was there and he loved me, like I love him.

Now since he's moved to town, Keaton calls about once a week, usually on Sunday night. Once about two months after he had moved into town, he asked to come for the weekend and I was as happy as a little kid having him back home. When Keaton stepped out of the truck Bear hit him hard, jumping up and licking him all over. They would wind up with Keaton on the grass with Bear in his lap. Bear missed him as much as I did it seems. He cooked all our meals like before and we watched TV, me in my chair and him on the sofa. We talked a good bit, him telling me about his job, it felt good having him back even if it was just a weekend. He wanted to be here and that made me feel warm all over and even a bit hopeful that one day he come back home to us. I asked him if he wanted me to take him back on Sunday night or wait and drop him off at work Monday morning.

"Monday morning Jack. That'll give me one more night here at home with you and Bear.

My spirit soared when he said that, this is home for him.

"You've made me a happy man this weekend Keaton. Like old times. Bear and I have missed our friend."

He gave me a look that I didn't recognize, like he wanted to ask something or tell me something. I couldn't figure it out. Just when I was about to ask what he was thinking, Bear crawled up on the sofa with him for his body massage and ear rub. I let it go. If it was important, he will tell me. I don't want to do or say anything that would make him stay away.

I'm not sure which of us enjoyed the weekend more. I felt a little better about his not being here everyday, I wanted him back home but I'd settle for whatever he was willing to give me. I can be happy if I know he's coming back for another visit in a few weeks. Now that he thinks of this place with Bear and me as his home now, I figure I?m ahead of the game right now; that's good enough for me...for now. We talked every week at least once, sometimes more. One night about six months after he had moved out, we were talking on the phone and he startled me by asking what I did for sexual release.

"I've always wondered what you do Jack. I guess you masturbate but don't you ever go out for real sex?"

I stuttered and stammered a bit then making a joke of it said...

"Why are you wondering what I do for sex Keaton?"

""Uh...I don't mean to pry Jack...it just that you've never mentioned sex. With most guys, that's all the think of or talk about. I just wondered."

"Come to think of it Keaton, you've never mentioned it either. What do you do for sex?"

"I just masturbate, I have my little fantasies like everyone I suppose, dating takes too much time and cash, and you're lucky if you might get a hand job from a girl. I'd just as soon stay in my room and dream about the sex with the perfect person. I get off good that way." Keaton answered.

"Sometimes I do like you just said and sometimes I watch porn on the computer. I'd rather get off and move on than to invest all the time and money it takes to get laid. I'm a bit particular about who I'll partner up with for such an intimate act."

"Me too Jack, it needs to be someone special and someone I really care about."

"Exactly! Now, can we talk about something else. It's a bit weird talking about sex with you. I'm so much older than you it just doesn't seem right to me." I said.

"You're not ?so much older that me' Jack. Nine years between us is just about perfect for me."

"Yeah it's okay for being friends I guess, but that's about it I suppose."

"No way Jack...Lots of folks are 10 or more years older than their partner, I don't see how it's a big deal to tell the truth." Keaton mumbled.

"People closer in age have more in common usually, and that makes getting along a lot easier. Plus lots of folks stare at couples with many years difference in their ages."

"Well it's getting late Jack. I should get to bed. It's good talking to you, sometimes I miss you so much it hurts, my chest gets tight and I have trouble breathing. I'll let you go now, talk to you soon...I miss you Jack."

Aww fuck! just when I'm getting used to him not being here he drops that bomb on me. He misses me! BFD! What's he think I've done every minute of every night that I sit here alone, watching the phone, trying to make him call me. How I sit here and fight the urge to drive to his place and get down on my knees and tell him how much I love him and want him home with me. I'd do it too if I weren't afraid of it chasing him away. I'm too scared to tell him just because he could end up hating the fag that took him in. Nothing for me to do but sit here and hope he wants to come home this coming weekend.

I woke up this morning and realized suddenly it was the last week of April. I had to start tilling the fields so that I could sow the wheat and corn fields, make a garden patch and clean out the fence rows. I started out close to the main highway where the wheat would be sown.

This time every year I take a week's vacation from work and get the fields ready to plant.

When I got to the field I saw that a dead tree had fallen during the Ice Storm and I hooked a chain around it and pulled it out of the way. I hooked the chain around the root stump and accelerated slowly, when the chain went taut, the tractor started digging trenches with its rear wheels. I cranked up the RPM with a foot on the break to make it smoother than jerking then my foot slipped off the brake when I turned to look back at the stump. The tractor surged forward, the chain snapped tightly and the front of the tractor reared up like a horse and fell backwards throwing me to the ground behind and the tractor and it fell on top of me.

Immediately I knew I was in big trouble, I was hurt bad, mostly at my chest, I was having trouble breathing and my right arm was twisted and under my back. I could see fuel leaking but it was diesel and I wasn't fearful of it catching fire. It took me a few moments to get my head thinking clearly, but finally I remembered my cell phone and called my neighbor just down the road, no answer. It was getting harder to breathe; I called my boss.

"Harry...help me...I'm hurt...bad...at farm just off highway hurry...call 911... I need an EMT quick!"

I guess I blacked out, I woke in the hospital ICU. The first person they let in to see me was Harry my boss. He told me what had happened and I began to remember ...he also told me that I had four ribs broken, a collapsed lung, a broken collarbone, a compound fracture of my right arm,

a dislocated shoulder and I'm probably concussed too. If I hadn't had the cell phone with me I'd be dead by now. It would have been several days before anyone missed me and I would have bled to death in that field in an hour or less.

"Jack...I?ve called Keaton...he's going to take care of the farm, feeding the stock and Bear too. I took your keys from your bag of belongings here and Keaton had his roommate drive him out to the farm. I told him it would be okay to uses your truck to get back and forth to his job and the farm. He's here in the waiting area, but he's really shook up about your accident. I told him to wait until he's calmed down a bit before seeing you. Uh...Jack...ah...listen...Keaton's a good young man...don't push him away...he really cares about your ornery old sorry ass for some reason."

Harry was holding my hand all the while he talked. I knew Keaton wasn't the only one who cared about me, Harry and I have worked together for nearly 8 years now. I know I can count on him...he saved my life this time...I could tell that he knows how I feel about Keaton...he was letting me know it's okay with him. I silently mouthed "thank you" to him and squeezed the hand that was holding mine. The ICU nurse signaled him it was time to leave and I drifted off back into la-la land, I dreamed the Ice Storm dream again, the one where Keaton and I are partners and lovers. I never want that dream to end.

Each time I would wake the nurse would check my vitals, call in the doctor and then stick a needle into the IV and I was off to la-la land again.

I learned later that when Harry first told Keaton the extent of my injuries and that I was in critical condition that Keaton broke down.

Harry managed to get him outside and into his truck to keep from disturbing the entire ICU. Harry said the kid was bawling like a baby, that it was all his fault, he should have been there helping you ...that he wished he'd never left the farm, that everything he had ever wanted was all right there on those 85 acres. He told Harry that I saved his life that day I carried him to my truck and then to this same hospital, how I waited for him, then came back the next day and when he told me he had nowhere to go, I just took him home with me.

He told Harry that there were things he had to tell me, before it was too late. He told Harry he had to go in alone the next time they let visitors in. Harry told the ICU nurses that Keaton was Jack's younger brother, half-brother, and his only living kin so that they would let him in to see me.

For once I woke early and before the 15 minute visitation time was to start, I saw Keaton coming through the glass doors. He really looked bad, I guesses he hadn't been asleep much, his eyes were rimmed in red, he was getting too thin, too. He came up to my bed, head down I could barely hear him say hello.

"Jack I've only got a few minutes and I have to tell you something before it's too late. I know you're in a bad way. First, my father disowned me because I'm gay, he found my porno mags and flipped out. So now you know I'm gay...a fag...a queer...you'll probably hate me but I have to tell you how much you've meant to me. You took me in when my family threw me out. You've never asked one question about it. The time with you was the best I've ever known, I should have never left you and the farm, I was so happy there with you. It's my fault you're hurt...this wouldn't have happened if there had been two of us in that field. I'm so sorry I wasn't there.

Jack...the real thing I need to say is that I love you Jack. I mean I?m in love with you. You're the best man I've ever known, if things were perfect, you and I would be together, partners and lovers. Remember I'm a pervert and that's why I say these things, I just want you to know how I feel about you. I don't expect any sort of response, I just needed to tell you that I love you. That's what I was gonna talk to you about when I got you repaid. To let you know that it was my choice, not out of pity, not because you?ve been so good to me. Just because I really do love you and would want you to be my life partner it things were different.

There. Now you know.

"Keaton it's not your fault. Now listen carefully to me...come closer....Keaton, I love you, you're my friend but that isn't the way I want to love you. Keaton, I'm gay too! A pervert like you said. I want you to be with me, to live together, work the farm together, to sleep in the same be and make love together, that's the way I want to love you.

You're my guy Keaton, the one, the one guy for me."

He collapsed in sobs onto the side of my bed. I placed my hand on his head and tried to console him, to make him know it's all right. When he looked up to me with tears flooding his cheeks he just said "really? you mean it?"

"Yes I've never meant anything more than I mean this Keaton Cannon. I LOVE YOU! We'll be together, I want you to come home, Bo and I miss you terribly. Look at me Keaton...will you come back home where you belong.

You can drive my Dad's old pickup truck and go where ever you want but just come home to me and our bed at night. Please say you will."

"But...but...J...Jack....I...uh...YES! YES I'll be there when you get out of here, oh migosh...I can't believe this...you're like me...you're gay...really! Oh wow!"

Keaton held my hand to his cheek and smiled at me through the tears running down his cheeks.

"You're all I've ever wanted Jack, you're perfect for me. It's hard to believe that you want me like I want you. I can hardly wait to get you back home and well again, we're gonna have us some fun Jack."

My cock was stirring, not getting erect but plumping up a bit; finally telling him how I feel about him got me going. It twitched a bit more and Keaton's eyes got big. He looked up to me with a questioning look then back to the tent rising under my sheet. He wasn't sure what was happening but he looked back to my swelling cock.

"See what you do to me Keaton? Laying here my body all broken and having you by my side gets me hard. You bet we're gonna have us some fun.

Quick kiss me before they make you leave."

He stood up, still holding my hand, glanced to the nurse's station, bent down kissed me on the lips, our mouths open but no tongues this time. He smiled the biggest smile I'd ever seen from him.

"You concentrate on getting your body healed up Jack, I've got so much love for you stored up we may not get out of bed for a month. I gotta go, here comes Nurse Ratchett! I Love you, John Brown."

It took a little over a month before the doctors released me to go home to recuperate.

Because of the rough road from the highway to the house, I went home in an ambulance, laying down. There would have been to much bouncing about if I had been in a sitting position. Keaton and Bear were standing at the front door when the attendants wheeled the gurney to the door. Once I was inside, Keaton had a place made up for me on the sofa. This old house never looked so good, I came close to never being here again. Even worse, I came close to never knowing the love that Keaton and I will share. After the EMT's left, Keaton was on his knees beside the couch and holding on to me, hugging me gently, kissing me face, my eyes, my lips.

when he raised up to look at me I said...

"Keaton, sometimes I feel like it was me that was rescued that day at the underpass. Having you there, us working the farm together, living here in the house together; has been the happiest time of my adult life.

You've made me realize what my life can be. You don't have to say anything, I just want you to know how much your being here has meant to me."

Keaton kneeled there, still holding my hand he bent over and kissed my lips again gently, his lips pressed harder against me, his tongue moved across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth to him and a deep shudder ran through my entire body when his tongue probed my mouth, Sometime, a lifetime or so later it seemed, Keaton pulled away and lay his head against my chest. He sighed and said in a quiet voice...

"I've wanted to do that since the night you brought me home. I want you Jack, you're just right for me, I think you're just perfect. I really want to be your partner, you and me together, and I desperately want us to make love, when you are well enough. Watching you hide your erections behind the furniture and running up to your room to relieve yourself has made me crazy. I want to be the one that satisfies your needs. I love you Jack Brown and I know you love me."

I was so stunned from his kiss, I couldn't speak. I just pulled him to me and hugged him as tightly as I could manage. I was almost in tears, I've never really believed that I would ever find a soulmate, and for it to be Keaton makes it all the more fantastic and wonderful. Finally, someone who loves me, someone that I'll give my life to, my own man to love and be loved by.

I was restless, I tried to get up but Keaton had to help me stand. I was so tired of being an invalid. It was expected at the hospital, but here in my home...in front of Keaton...no! I never want him to think of me that way. I made my way into the kitchen and stood looking out at the farm.

"It's time to plant that garden and look at me. I'll hire a couple of hands soon.

Keaton came to stand beside me.

"Once the garden is tilled I can do the planting after work, you just draw up a plan where you want each vegetable to go and I'll plant it for us."

I felt Keaton's arms go around my waist and hug me to him, I couldn't stop the tears welling up in my eyes. Then, I lost what little composure I had and the tears streamed down my cheeks. I hung my head, ashamed to let him see me cry. Keaton turned me around to face him, my head still hung down, I couldn't look him in the eyes just yet. When he hugged me to him and kissed my neck, just below my ear my whole body shivered and shook with my sobs. I wrapped my arms around him and cried like a baby.

Once the sobbing had stopped, Keaton lifted my chin and stared into my eyes for what seemed an eternity but was really only a few moments. He laid his head on my chest, holding me close.

"Please let me love you Jack, we need each other."

"You're sure Keaton?"

"I'm sure that Jack Brown is the best human I've ever met. I'm sure that these few months with him have given me hope and a reason to live, when it seemed I'd lost everything. I'm sure that Jack Brown loves me, I'm sure he would sacrifice himself to help me. I'm sure that I've fallen so very much in love with him, just being near him lifts me up, he makes me feel like I can do anything in the world. I'm sure too, that I need him much more than he needs me. Please Jack, let me love you."

I couldn't speak, an unbearable ache lodged in my throat preventing me from making a sound. With my body trembling, I hugged him to me, we stood there silent until I could finally speak again.

"Yes, we'll love each other Keaton."

Time passed by so slowly, but eventually, I was getting stronger, it takes me almost five minutes to walk to the barn that's only 50 yards away.

I wait until Keaton leaves for work then I go to the barn and spend an hour or two brushing and grooming Big Red, I put him out in the near paddock and watch him buck and kick and run about like a colt for a while. Then when he settles down to graze I head back to the house.

I spoke to my Doctor and go the okay to have sexual intercourse IF I would be cautious and take it slow and easy. I grinned when he said that; slow and easy sex with Keaton would be heaven on earth to me.

When Keaton got home from work, I had a pot of soup on the stove. He commented that he smelled the soup before he got to the door. Going to put away his jacket he stopped as he passed the couch, noticing that all the bedding was put away and the house wasn't like a sick room anymore. He looked back over his shoulder to me and raised an eyebrow.

"Dr. Mattson gave me the okay to resume light physical activity today."

Keaton turned and dropped his jacket in a chair and took my hand.

"In that case Mr. Brown, you come with me. I?ve just the right ?light physical activity? in mind that is long, long overdue. Come Jack, lets make love."

Once upstairs in our room, Keaton began undressing me. When he pulled away my tee shirt he lay his face against my chest.

"Ilove all that chest hair Jack. Makes me know I?m with a man, I never have wanted to be with boys, it's always been a man that interested me."

We lay on our side, naked, holding ourselves together for the first time.

Keaton's kisses seemed to devour me, he couldn't get enough. His roaming hands finally made their way to my groin and he took my drooling cock in his hand. His eyes got big and he moved to look down at my cock.

"Oh my...looks like Jack's been keeping a BIG secret. Oh baby, I love your big fat cock."

Before I could reply he slipped down and looked up to me as he took all of me into his mouth and throat. I thought I was going top blow my load then. I think he sensed my state and he backed off.

"I love you, Keaton. That afternoon at the Emergency Room...when you came walking up to me when they released you. I fell for you right then.

Since that time you've pitched in and done everything you could think of to help out around here. You've impressed me in everything you do. I'll be yours for as long as you want me."

Keaton leaned back and looked at me.

"I'll settle for about 50 years to start with, with an option for more when the first 50 runs out. I want you Jack, now kiss me. Show me how you love me."

Everything I thought I knew about being in love flew out the window with the kiss that followed. The love and passion that claimed my body was the most exhilarating feeling of my life.

When Keaton's hand clasped my throbbing cock again, something in him snapped. He was wild, his lips and tongue covering every inch of my body he could reach. He licked and kissed his way down my torso. He spread my legs and put his face and tongue to work at my groin, where my legs met my pelvic region. I heard his taking in deep breaths and moaning as he let the breath escape The memory of the moment when our bare flesh first touched will go with me to my grave. I never knew that love could make such a difference in the most mundane everyday events. I almost blew my load just holding him against me. Keaton knelt and helped me step out of the wad of pants and shorts around my ankles, my shoes and socks were off next and still on his knees, Keaton wrapped his arms around my butt and lay his beautiful face against my abdomen, My hardening cock rose up under his chin. He looked up to my eyes and took my cock in his hand, slowly moving it back and forth. Seeing the clear pearl at my slit, his tongue darted out and licked it clean, making me moan out loud. He looked up to me again, opened his mouth and took all of my hard cock into his mouth and throat. The sight of him looking at me with his mouth stuffed with my cock came close to sending me over the edge. I pulled back, my cock slipping from his mouth with a loud slurp.

I pulled him to his feet and we lay on the bed.

With him on his back, I lay on my side, my leg pulled up across his legs with my knee nestled up against his testicles. My hand roamed his chest, tweaking at the little brown nubs of his nipples. I leaned close and let my tongue trace down his treasure trail of fine, almost invisible hair.

His body wasn't ripped from gym workouts but toned, smooth and muscled from honest hard work. He had worked on his Grandfather's farm every summer from the time he was nine years old. I raised up and looked at him lying there. Keaton is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

I fought the tears brimming again, ?get a grip Jack stop sobbing like a little girl? I thought to myself.

My hand moved downward just below his navel and bumped into the head of his throbbing, leaking penis. Our time of foreplay was gone. I took his cock and sucked him deep into my throat in one gulp. No gagging, no trying to go deeper. I had all of him inside me in one swift plunge.

This is my Keaton, my man, my love. He let out a moan from deep inside himself when I ground my face hard against his pelvic bone, my throat muscles rhythmically working up and down his shaft. My free hand circled his testicles up high, near the base of his cock and pulled down hard stretching the cords inside. Keaton roared loudly.

"YES! OHMIGOD YES! Harder JACK! Stretch my nut sac, pull harder, ohmigod JACK! OH JACK!. YES! YES!"

I felt that old familiar tickle in my own testlicles, I knew my ejaculation was just moments away. I crouched on my knees beside him and gobbled up his delicious cock, it filled my mouth. Keaton thrashed about the bed furiously, he was as close as me, we were going to reach our orgasm together.

"OH FUCK YEAH! JACK! JACK! SUCK ME. TAKE ME, LOVE ME, JACK!

One moment I'm sucking him and the next his semen is dripping from my chin, I can't swallow it fast enough. As he winds down from his orgasm I begin licking up the spilled semen on his legs and crotch. Exhausted we lay there gasping for breath, in a few moments, Keaton tugged me up and we embraced and kissed briefly. We were still gasping for air. I rolled to my back and Keaton moved and lay his head on my chest with an arm across my body, a leg across mine, I pulled the sheet and blanket up and covered us as we began to drift off to sleep. I heard him whisper...

"I Iove you Jack, always and forever. I'm you are mine...at last."

I don't know how long we slept, I dreamed that Keaton was making love to me, his hands caressing my body, his lips kissing everywhere he hands had touched. The wetness of his mouth on my cock woke me, this isn't a dream. Seeing Keaton's beautiful face distorted with my hard cock filling his mouth again triggered my release and my orgasm filled him to overflowing. My mind and body were both wracked with unbelievable pleasure as Keaton suckled my cock until I was completely emptyied.

Sliding back up to me he kissed me so tenderly I felt the tears welling up yet again. I now knew for certain that against all odds, somehow, someway this fantastic young man wants me. I would never have to sleep alone again.

I slept until six the next morning, I woke to the smell of coffee brewing and I went looking for Keaton. He was bent over with his head in the fridge getting the makings of our breakfast. When he stood and saw me standing there in just my boxer shorts he gave me the brightest smile I've ever seen. I opened my arms He sat the food on the counter and stepped into my embrace. After a tight hug he looked up and said "good morning lover," Causing my body to tremble as I saw the love in his eyes. Quickly he raised on tiptoes and claimed my lips with his. A long, sensuous, cock hardening kiss that made me want to take him back to our bed. He pulled away smiling, then leaned back in for a quick little peck on my lips. Looking to my eyes again he said.

"Last night was the best night of my life Jack. You make me whole. I fear I need you like I need air to breathe, I want you to take me back to bed but I know we have things to do. The cattle, Red, the Chicks all need our attention. Get your shower while I fix our breakfast."

When I reached for him again he ducked under my arms and came up behind me. He quickly kissed me just below my ear and sent me off to shower.

Once I was finished and dressed he came and told me to watch the ham and omelets while he showered and dressed. Breakfast took longer than usual,

we each sat at stared lovingly at the other for long intervals, our feet and legs touching beneath the table. At last when we finished and cleaned up the dishes we got out the heavy coats to go to the barn.

Outside, about halfway to the barn I stopped, threw back the hood on my coat, spread my arms wide and yelled out to the top of my lungs.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH KEATON CANNON, I?M IN LOVE!"

At first he was surprised then he laughed happily and did his own shout to the world.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH JACK BROWN AND HE LOVES ME!?

The steamvapor streaming from his mouth into the frigid air as he shouted, somehow made his statement louder and more profound to me. My heart swelled with my love for him.

Bear was running and jumping up to us, sharing in our joy. We managed to get to the barn and this time I followed him up into the loft. He turned as I was stepping off the top step and leaped into my arms, his legs locking around my waist as I held him to me and surrendered to his kisses. Never breaking our lips from the other we fell into the hay stack still locked together. For just a few moments after ending our kiss, we lay there holding each other, no words were spoken, but volumes were understood as we looked into each others soul. I was a bit dumbstruck, as I understood how wonderfully lucky we were. In time we rose and took care of our charges below, sending the hay down the chutes, then clamoring down the steps to feed and water Red. Outside again, Keaton took off at a run to the chicken coops as I watched and marveled at my fantastic luck, and a happiness I never knew could exist.

From that day on, quitting time at work brought a new joy to my life. I drove to pick Keaton up at his job and we rushed back to the farm. We soon established a new routine, as soon as we were in the house we kissed and hugged for quite a while before we headed out to the livestock. This day, the kitchen was filled with the aroma of Pot Roast cooking in the crock pot with potatoes, carrots, onions and a delicious gravy. Back from the barn we headed for the shower and took our time there, comfortable now with each other's bodies, so much so that often we had our first orgasm of the day there in the shower.

The fifth night we slept together Keaton surprised me as we lay in bed.

He rose and straddled my hips and leaned over to kiss me then said.

"Tonight I want you inside me, you're going to fuck me Jack."

"I've never done that Keaton, but I'll do whatever you ask. Just tell me what you want."

He jumped off the bed and reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a tube, I later learned was an anal lubricant. Following his instructions I lubed up my hand and his anus and began to stretch him out to accommodate me. The moment my fingers entered his body I was hooked.

The heat inside him felt so good and I could plainly see that Keaton enjoyed what I was doing. As I lubricated him I watched his face, he clearly like my fingers up inside him. His hard cock leaked a steady stream of clear nectar; with my free hand I pulled his cock away from his body, looking up his eyes were closed as I probed inside him with three fingers now. I really had no idea how this could possibly give him pleasure, but he liked what I was doing so I got creative and began to turn my hands and stroke different places inside him. One of my fingers stroked against a hard rounded place and Keaton screamed out

"OHMIGOD...YES JACK YES...do that again." Keaton was panting his butt wiggling like mad on four fingers and part of my hand. I pulled his cock up and plunged it deeply into my throat bringing another roar out of Keaton.

"Oh Jack...now babe, now...put your fat cock inside me babe, please Jack, fuck me now, fuck me hard babe. Do me...show me how much you love me.

Kiss me Jack. OH jeezus you feel so good!!

Keaton squirted a huge glob of lube into his hand and grabbed my bobbing cock, slicking me up good. He told me to knee walk up between his legs which were spread wide apart, I held his ankles in my hands. Keaton positioned my cock at his anus and told me to push in steadily, he pushed down and suddenly my corona was inside him. I gasped out loud, I wasn't prepared for the feelings assailing the head of my cock. He put his hands against my thighs to keep me still while he got accustomed to my cock inside him. We kissed long and deeply, our tongues stroking every part of our mouths and teeth. Somewhere in mid-kiss, Keaton began pulling on the backs of my legs, pulling me deeper inside him. I held my breath fearing that breathing would ruin this exquisite moment. His heat intensified as my cock traveled deeper into him. When I had all of my cock deep inside him he sighed loudly.

"Oh Jack! You fill me up babe, so good, you feel so good inside me."

We kissed again and Keaton arched his pelvis and ground hard against my cock deep in his guts, automatically I pushed back against him and at that moment I knew that this was the best feeling I have ever experienced. I pulled back and slid in faster, when Keaton moaned as my cock plunged deep, I found my rhythm and began to fuck my Keaton, my love. I a very few strokes all our tender loving kisses and gentle foreplay was gone. We transformed from sweet and tender lovers to two men in rut. I plunged in and out of him as fast as my hips could move, Keaton pushed up and slammed his pelvis against my cock as I hit the deepest penetration.

Sweat poured off my body as I kept plunging deep, we both grunted each time we ground together. I saw Keaton's eyes roll back and he became a wild man, his hips took over and he fucked my cock inside him. I didn't realize it was happening but one minute I was pounding my cock into him and the next I was on my back with Keaton straddling my hips. I looked at his handsome face and he was off in another world. His hips never missed a beat. When I saw him grab his cock and start jerking it I knew it couldn't be much longer, I had felt the first twinges deep in my testicles as my semen started its journey.

"Cum Jack, cum now, we're gonna blow baby, fuck me hard Jack, fuck me baby. fuck me, fuck me, OH MY GOD...yesss!"

I felt the semen rising in me and begin its headlong rush to spray the walls of Keaton's rectum. He shouted that it was time, "Jack..you're making me cum, JACK...CUM WITH ME...AAARRRGGGHHH! OHMIGOD...JACK, JACK, JACK...aaaggghhh. Oh baby...JACK. Jack...Jack...my Jack, mine...kiss me...oh Jack...oh man!"

Keaton pulled my face to his with his hands and stuck his tongue down into my throat, it couldn't last we had to have air. When we broke the kiss he clutched me to him.

"Never leave me...you're mine...never leave you...my Jack, my love....mine."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks again, This had been the most profound moment of my life. Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that filled my mind and body. I had just found out what it feels like to be loved, I couldn't get our bodies close enough together.

I wanted to crawl inside him, to love him like he had loved me. There were no doubts now, there was no pity in that act. Keaton had shown me what love between two men can be. Ecstasy is the only word that even comes close to to what I felt.

Still gasping for air, we laid back, me on my back cradling Keaton's beautiful face on my shoulder with his body glued tightly to my side. One of his hands cradled my softening cock. His lips made soft little kisses on my neck while he whispered his love for me in my ear. By the time our breathing was back to its normal rate we were soundly sleeping. I dreamed we could fly! Keaton and Me, flying through the air with arms outstretched, floating, diving then soaring up to meet and kiss high in the air.

I woke a good bit fore Keaton, we had shifted a bit in our sleep and I lay there still holding him but now I could see his handsome face as he slept on my chest. Looking down at him sleeping contentedly, I said a silent prayer that he would always be in my life and in my heart. In a few moments Keaton stirred and began to waken. Slowly he opened his eyes and seeing me looking at him a big smile brightened his face.

"Mmm...morning lover. You were a tiger last night babe. I've never felt so loved, ever. You're the best babe."

He leaned over and lightly pecked my lips, and hugged me again.

"Gotta pee babe, let's get up and I'll fix you your favorite breakfast with all the trimmings, I'm starving! I could eat a horse this morning."

His hand moved down and circled my soft cock. "Or maybe I'll just get my protein here."

My cock started plumping up. "Not yet, Babe, we have to eat and do our chores."

We rose from bed and as I passed the mirror in my room I saw the huge smile on my face. I can't ever remember a happiness like I feel this moment.

Keaton had done his business and brushed his teeth when he came out of the bath.

"Your turn babe."

When I entered the kitchen Keaton stopped what he was doing and came to me and put his arms around my neck and laid one on me. Before he was through I was sitting on the edge of the table, to keep from falling, and we were still bathing each others tonsils. I spread my legs and pulled Keaton up against me, his hardening cock began pressing against me. I lowered my hands and pulled his hips hard against me. He gave me a devilish look and ground his cock against me.

"You feel that Jack? Tonight's your turn, my hard cock is gonna fuck you tonight. I gave myself to you last night, you give yourself to me tonight. I can hardly believe we're standing here like this. My heart is so full, you I ache all over. I love you more than I ever imagined possible."

I ran the tip of my tongue up his neck and nibbled his ear lobe before putting my tongue in his ear. Goose-flesh ran over his body, his breathing quickened and he molded himself tighter against me. His body began to writhe and undulate rubbing against me. Finally he gained control and stepped back, his eyes wide and a look of surprise on his face.

"Whoa! I gotta cook Jack...down boy...down." He said laughing. "We gotta get some food in us so we can do all this again tonight. Whisking a bowl of eggs for scrambling he leaned over and nipped at my earlobe and tongued my ear. When reached for him he skittered away out of reach.

"Food first lover. Then we'll see."

I looked over at him thinking, yeah, I could just about eat him up. No one has ever affected me like Keaton has. In many ways it's like I only started living nine weeks ago when I carried his near frozen body to my truck. It has to be fate, me pulling over at the same place he sought shelter, me catching the slightest movement as he crouched trying to keep warm. He would have died there that night if I hadn't been there, I know that he wouldn't have lasted more than a couple of hours in his condition. It's ironic the way things turn out sometimes, my saving Keaton turned into him saving me. For the first time in many years life was good for me. I?ve never been this happy in all my life...and this is only the beginning of us together.

It was getting on up into the morning and I was glad for a Saturday with Keaton. Looking over at him standing at the stove in his form fitting knit boxers and tee made my cock stir in my shorts. Keaton was taking the biscuits from the oven and I got the plates, cutlery and coffee cups to the table, a couple of paper towels as our napkins, then stood and watched his backside as he finished cooking. Desire for him rose up again, thinking back to last night my cock strained against my shorts, I walked up behind him as he was stirring the eggs in the skillet, letting my hard cock rub against his butt. Chuckling under his breath he pushed back against me, then leaned his body back to my chest and stomach. He turned his head as far as he could and I bent to kiss his lips. He sat the skillet of eggs aside and turned, put his arms around my neck and we kissed like it would be our last. When we broke the kiss, he looked up and I let my forehead rest against his.

"I'm so happy Keaton. I realize now that at last I'm whole. You fill the void, that empty space that I feared would never be filled. I'll always love you and I'll never let you go,"

He moved and looked up to me. "We gotta eat if we wanna get back to bed and play, Jack. I'm just as happy and blown away by ?us' as you are. I've dreamed of us being like this back when I first came here. We are so perfect together, in and out of bed."

We filled our plates from the stove and moved to the table. We sat side by side at the table, our bodies touching from our hips to our calves and we ate. We both went back for seconds and finally with the dishes loaded into the dishwasher we got dressed to go to the barn. Even passion has to take a back seat to life on a farm. Things have to be done, regardless of the weather, or the sexual needs of two horny men, even if our cocks made us think the time could be better spent in bed.

With the warmer weather, Big Red has been spending his days in the paddock but I've kept his horse blanket buckled on him outside. When he hears the barn lot gate open he heads to the paddock gate and waits patiently until I've made sure his stall floor is clean and fresh straw strewn about for him. Most horses sleep standing up but old Red is a lazy bugger and loves to stretch out on his side.

Keaton opened the doors and let had the cows out of their sheds to spend their day grazing, then he moved on to the chicken coop while I had Red in the barn hall cross ties brushing him down with the Curry Comb. Big Red kept nuzzling at my shirt, knowing that I'd have a sugar cube or two to give him when I was finished. I gave him his sugar fix and rubbed his ears then tickled his nose a bit, a little parting ritual I always do with him. I led him out to the paddock and when I unsnapped the lead the took off running and bucking, throwing his heels high and neighing his thanks for letting him run.

I switched off the lights and closed the big door and headed back to the house, I saw that Keaton had finished with the chickens and was back inside. He had our provisions list and the empty kerosene containers and we headed out. Saturday morning meant a trip into town for provisions for the livestock and food for us. We got everything on our list and I drove straight to the barn lot to unload the feed. I stopped and put the Poultry Feed in the chicken coop. Keaton ran ahead to the house saying he had to ?go' in a hurry. I laughed and told him to go, ?I'll finish up?.

Back at the house I started laughing again. It wasn't his need to use the bathroom for what I thought...starting in the kitchen he left a trail of his clothes he was shedding as he made his way up to our bed, leaving a trail for me to follow. First were his shoes a few feet apart, next were the socks, then his flannel shirt on the banister newel post, his belt was about halfway up the steps, his jeans on the upstairs newel post, his knit boxers at the bedroom door and inside on the bed, sitting propped up by pillows, sat the now naked man of my dreams.

The look on his face made me know he means business, his intentions were to initiate me into the joys(?) of anal sex as a bottom, last night I was the top, today would be my first time to even try bottom. I was a bit apprehensive, feeling certain that there would be a good bit of pain.

Then I remembered how much Keaton had enjoyed last night and I knew he only wants me to feel like I made him feel last night. I opened my phone and snapped a picture of him sitting naked on my...uh...our bed. Putting the phone down I started unbuttoning my shirt. Keaton leaped from the bed.

"No...Wait...let me undress my prize. He kissed me while his fingers undid the buttons on my shirt. Quickly he moved to the top button on my worn and faded jeans. Once the button was undone a light tug popped the fly buttons open and he reached his hand inside my tightie whities and pulled out his prize. I jumped a bit as his cold hand wrapped around my warm and rapidly thickening cock. He was greeted by a steady flow of the clear pre cum. Stroking my cock he looked up to me.

"You have the most beautiful cock I've ever seen Jack, so long and fat,

with a perfect helmet; just right for filling my mouth and throat and other places as well."

With that said he took my cock into his mouth to the hilt, my knees buckled and I fell onto the bed. He rose and tugged my jeans and underwear off my butt and legs in one smooth motion. He stretched out atop me and we kissed and held each other for a few moments. Keaton pulled me up and into the bathroom and instructed me on cleaning myself out and went back to the bedroom. When I was sure that I was ready, I went to him. Keaton has stripped the bedding back and had extra pillows there to put under my butt while he made love to me. Once I was on the bed Keaton took charge and I gladly did his bidding. From the time I saw him sitting on the bed his cock had been standing tall, leaking and dripping his clear sweet nectar in anticipation of what was to come.

We lay together, kissing and fondling each other until he couldn't hold off any longer. With the Ultra Glide lube he worked a finger inside me.

I was surprised, I was expecting the same sort of pain as when the doctor gave me a prostate exam, but the entry was smooth and pain free.

All the while as his fingers loosened me up, the other hand was tweaking and pinching my nipples making me moan and cry out.

I was amazed to find myself pushing down and squirming around as Keaton's three fingers moved in and out of my anus, it was already feeling good with two fingers, and I began to babble a bit with four fingers and part of his hand moved in and out of me. When he finally stroked across my prostate I nearly came off the bed. In just a matter of minutes I was telling Keaton to do it, I wanted him in me. He applied more Ultra Glide to my butt and his cock. I spread my legs as wide as I could and watched as my beautiful Keaton places the tip of his throbbing cock at my entrance. He leaned down to kiss me and he told me he would stop as soon as the head of his cock was in me to let me get accustomed to having him in me. He took both hands and held my face while he kissed me, I guided his cock and in mid kiss his cock head popped in me.

My eyes went wide and a silent scream filled my brain. I managed to stifle my voice and just groaned loudly. He was right though, in just a few moments the shock of the initial pain was replaced by a feeling of fullness. Keaton began a gently rocking motion that soon had him inching his way inside me. Then as he was kissing me again, I pulled on his legs, I was ready for more of his cock in me. His rocking motion developed into the rhythm of fucking and the fullness I felt was amazing.

I already knew I liked having him inside me, I wanted all of him. When I asked for more he rocked a bit deeper, it wasn't enough. I locked my ankles behind him and on the next downthrust I pulled him all the way inside me.

"OHMIGOD! JEEZUS I'M SO FULL. Oh Babe, do it..do me now...you feel so good...fuck me Keaton, please, more, faster, do it. aawwwggghhh!

Yes...oh baby...oh...oh...unnngh. Harder, faster...ohmigod...I never knew...KEATON...I LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU...Awww FUCK IT, YES...unnnghh"

Keaton settled into his rhythm stroking deep, up fast plunge deep. This was feeling to good to be true, I couldn't imagine anything feeling any better. Then when I met his deep stroke by pushing up hard and grinding my butt on his hard cock I found nirvana. I bucked and twisted against his throbbing cock fuckinf his cock with my butt churning and thrusting against his hardness, I watched as Keatons face twisted and grimaced as he worked hard to please me, to please us. Jeez...every touch, every thrust he made pleased me. I was completely awed and amazed that anal intercourse could be so erotic, sensual, sexual or pleasant...no pleasant is too weak an adjective, it's more like stupendous or fantastic. The descriptive words are irrelevant, his cock touched off feelings and emotions I've never before experienced. I love getting fucked by Keaton!

He slowed a bit, catching his breath; I imagined he needed a short rest before he brought us both to our orgasm. I fear that he's made me a cock slut. I can't imagine ever not wanting this. Taking advantage of his slower movements I began rotating my hips as he ground hard into me.

Ohmigod! How good he makes me feel, I never want to stop, just let me cum and let him keep plowing my butt until we cum again and again.

"Oh Keaton, Oh baby...make me cum baby...make me cum with your hard cock...AWWW SHIT...That's it Babe, fuck it hard...awww man...Oh...Oh...yeah, it's starting Keaton...it's starting...OH MY GOD!!!

NOW!! NOW! OH KEATON, KEATON...I'M GONNA SHOOT...NOW...YES...UUUNNNNGGGHHH!! KEATON, OOOHHH YESSS...AAWWRRGGHH!

KEATON...LOVE YOU..LOVE YOU..OOH...OH KEATon...SO GOOD...OH, oh, oh, all mine...your mine...love you...mmm."

We lay lifeless, Keaton on my chest, his cock still deep inside me and still hard as before. With every little movement I made, I felt his hard cock move inside me. I never knew this pleasure so complete existed. I only hoped that we would do this again...soon! We slept.

All too soon the weekend was gone and we were on our way to work on a cold Monday morning. I stopped at his office and he reached over and squeezed my hand...

"Love you babe." He said as he left the truck and went into his office.

I drove on to my job almost giddy with happiness, these two months win Keaton have been the happiest times of my life.

We settled into our new life as lovers, partners and of course part time farmers. As summer started turning to fall, Keaton told me he wanted to start back to college to get his Computer Science degree. He told me he?d take night and weekend classes and with the credit he already had, it shouldn't take more than two years to finish. I was quiet for a few moments then I spoke up.

"That's wonderful that you want to get your degree babe. but let's talk about it first, okay??

"What?...you think I shouldn't??

"No, no...I?m all for it...look Keaton...you agree that we're a couple, committed to each other and we share in everything, right??

"Yes, always? He said.

"Then if you truly mean it, you'll need to quit your job and go to school full time to finish in a year or so. We have the money...yours and mine.

It's ours Keaton, we share, remember. You go and get that degree and we'll be home together at night."

He started to protest..."but Jack..."

"We share Keaton, we're a team, you and I. You help me, I help you. That's it, you'll take our money and get that degree. There'll be no arguments, you're not a single guy anymore. What we do, we do together."

He couldn't come up with anything that sounded even halfway like a good rebuttal, finally he smiled a sheepish grin and hugged me.

"How did I ever get so lucky for you to find me that day of the storm? You're right there's only ?ours? now, Jack."

Keaton enrolled at Jefferson Community & Technical College, (Jeff Co Tech) in their Computer and Information Technology program. He's projected to get his degree in three semesters. I couldn't be prouder of Keaton if he were my own son. He's working hard and maintaining a 3.90 GPA. He's at the head of his class and should be able to write his own ticked at graduation.

After our little talk about there no longer being his and mine, only ours, I visited with a lawyer and made Keaton my legal heir to everything I own. I waited a while before I told him about it, I wanted to tell him on our first anniversary. We decide that the beginning of us was that day in the ICU when we told each other we were in love. So May 15 became the day we celebrate our anniversary.

Keaton graduated on time and at the head of his class. He had two offers from local companies. He settled on a company specializing in Automotive IT applications. His starting salary was more than I made after 5 years with my Engineering company.

Since I had the truck, Keaton bought a Volt gas/hybrid for his 40 mile round trip commute and our leisure driving.

I'm completely healed from the tractor accident, we're working on the house, repairs, clean up, paint, Keaton gave me a widescreen flat panel LCD for my birthday last week. I gave him a 3 year old Pleasure Mare to ride when Big Red and I go out for a ride on the farm just because I wanted him to have her. Big Red seems happy to have her in the next stall, we're planning on them breeding when she comes in season later this summer.

All in all, I don't know of a thing that would make either of us any happier. We're happy with our jobs, we're happy with the farm and our responsibilities there, but the real joy is being crazy, madly in love with a person who is crazy, madly in love with me. It's doesn't get better than this.

The End