Warning: If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please leave now.
This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Any similarities is just a coincidence. ___________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 8
Sophia and Ivan were silent during the drive to the hospital, both lost in their own thoughts. The last time Ivan had seen David, Sophia's father, was during his mother's funeral. Ivan had known that he had cancer but that was two years ago. He had even witnessed how the man bravely fought and killed the disease.
"What happened? I thought he was okay already." Ivan asked Sophia.
"We thought so too but a few weeks ago I got a call from Michael saying that Dad was starting to complain about some pain and was always exhausted. I told Michael to get him to the hospital for a check-up. That's when the doctors found out that the cancer had come back and it was spreading fast." Sophia explained.
Ivan didn't know what to say other than, "I'm sorry." Sophia just nodded to him as her eyes watered again.
Ivan hadn't been to the hospital since his accident. Walking down the quiet corridors gave him chills. He followed Sophia into a room and found Michael sitting beside his father's bed. David was smiling at his son as they held each others' hand. Michael, however, was crying .
"Ivan!" A little boy called from the other side of the room. The boy ran to him and hugged his legs. Ivan smiled at the boy who looked exactly like Michael when he was five. "I missed you." The little boy whispered to Ivan's jeans.
"I missed you too buddy." Ivan looked down at him as he ruffled the boy's brown hair.
"Hey Junior, come on. Let's go and get something to eat." Michael called to his little brother. Ivan looked at Michael and nodded.
"But I'm not hungry and I want to talk to Ivan." The boy whined. Ivan could see the impatience on Michael's face so he tried to convince the boy.
"Tell you what? We'll hang out later after you go with your brother." Ivan said as Michael watched him talk to his brother.
David Junior exhaled sharply and let out a prolonged, "Okay." Michael nodded a thank you to Ivan before leaving the room with Sophia and his little brother.
Ivan directed his attention to Michael's father who was watching the entire Interaction. "You two used to be inseparable." The man smiled. "But now all you could do is nod at each other." He frowned.
Ivan didn't know how to respond so he just sat down on his bedside and looked at his hands folded in his lap.
"How are you doing?" The man asked in a lighter tone.
Ivan tried to smile. "Okay." He looked at David. He looked so thin and fragile. The features that his children got from him were now almost unrecognizable.
It was awkward for Ivan as silence enveloped the two of them. He didn't know what to say to the dying man. But as he remembered how he had always wished that he could have at least been granted the opportunity of talking to his mother when she was dying, he regained composure. This man was like his second father. He may not be Ivan's blood father but he had always been there for him since he and Michael had met. Ivan tried to imagine what he would have said if this was his mother lying on the bed right now.
"I'm sorry." Ivan's voice cracked. David looked at him. "For not staying in touch. I didn't even check on you."
David smiled and said, "It's okay." Not trusting his voice, Ivan just nodded. "I know my son did a pretty stupid thing but," David paused and coughed. "But you know he still cares for you."
When Ivan didn't answer, he continued. "Look Ivan, I don't want to push you so I'll make a deal with you." Ivan could see David struggling with his breath.
"Are you okay?" Ivan asked him with full concern.
Michael's father nodded. "I'm okay. I just really need to say this." He breathed deeply before continuing. "When I see your mother up there, I'm going to give her a message from you."
Ivan just stared at him, wondering if he was serious. "So?" David asked him. "What will be your message?"
Ivan decided to go with it. "I love you and I miss you so much."
"That's all of it?" Ivan nodded. "Okay. I'm gonna talk to her for you." The man took a long pause. "Just promise me one thing."
"Anything." Ivan smiled and held his hand.
"Please be there for Michael when I die." Tears threatened to fall from the dying man's eyes. "I just don't want my son to be alone. Or you."
Ivan's eyes began to water. "David..."
"Please." The man said in a weak voice.
"I promise." Tears were now running from both their eyes.
"Thank you." As David closed his eyes, Ivan felt the man's grip on his hand tighten. "That's all I needed to hear." The man's hand suddenly went limp.
Ivan's eyes widened. "David?" The man didn't answer. "David?"
"Pops?" Michael called for his father as he entered the room. When he saw Ivan's face, he immediately ran to his father's side. "No. Pops!"
Sophia and David Junior also rushed into the room after seeing what was happening. Ivan tried to give the family some space and moved to the side by himself crying. He saw Michael crying on his father's chest and went behind him to rub his back. Michael looked at him and slowly faced him.
"He's gone Ivan." Michael sniffled. Ivan closed the distance between them and pulled Michael towards him. The other boy clung on to him as he cried on his shoulder.
"I'm here for you." Ivan whispered to his ear.
Later that night, Ivan called Jean and told her that Michael had asked him to stay the night and wanted to do that. She said it was fine and asked him if Jesse could stay in his room. Ivan said okay and hang up after saying goodnight. Ivan and Michael had slept over at each other's houses many time over the years. They had always shared a bed but now that they had been apart for a year, Ivan didn't know where to put himself.
He was sitting at Michael's desk when Michael got out of his own bathroom attached to his room wearing only a pair of boxers. Ivan knew this was a very awful day for Michael but he couldn't help but look and admire the boy's body. Sure, he had seen it before but it had been at least a year ago since the last time he had caught a glimpse of his Greek statuesque body.
"Do you need anything?" Ivan said walking to the door. He wanted to avoid seeing Michael almost naked especially at a time like this. As much as he normally enjoyed such a sight, he felt it just wasn't right.
Michael settled on his bed and pulled the blanket over his chest. "I'm good. Thanks."
Ivan was desperately looking for a reason to leave the room. "I'm just going to check on Junior." Michael just nodded. "Then I'm going to get some extra blankets."
Ivan opened the door to leave. "What for?" Michael asked. Ivan looked at him. Michael had already sat up causing the blanket to fall to his waist.
"So that I won't get cold on the floor?"
Michael scowled. "You're sleeping on the bed with me. You're my best friend Ivan. I won't let you sleep uncomfortably on the floor while I'm sleeping on the bed."
Ivan just nodded and left the room. Ivan went to Junior's room which was just across the hall. He found the boy already asleep. He stood by the door for a moment, trying to prolong his return to Michael's room. Ivan sighed and walked back to his ex best friend's room.
The room was already dark when Ivan came in. Michael must've turned off the lights. Both of them couldn't sleep with any light on. He could hear Michael's steady breathing. He must be asleep, Ivan said as he went silently to the other side of the bed.
Ivan carefully sat down on the bed, not wanting to wake up the other boy. He laid himself down slowly but couldn't help noticing how his heart was beating fast. He tried to breathe deeply and calmly but it only made him shiver. His hands had become cold, but he gently rubbed them together and used them to massage his arms.
To the boy's surprise, Michael stirred and put an arm and leg over his shivering body. "You're cold." Michael stated with his eyes closed. Without opening his eyes, he lifted the blanket to accommodate Ivan. Ivan froze in his position. He didn't know where to move. If he faced away from Michael,
they might end up spooning but if he turned to Michael's side, their faces would be close enough to feel each other's breath. And with the other boy's leg near his hardening member, Ivan really couldn't move anyway.
After deciding to just sleep the way as he was, he heard the unmistakable sniffles of Michael. "I already miss him Ivan." He said as he snuggled closer to Ivan.
Ivan turned to face the crying boy just in time to avoid having his knee touch his erection."I know."
"I need you." The boy sobbed. Ivan struggled with the consequence of his position, feeling Michael's breath on his cheek and smelling it's sweetness.
Ivan gulped and said. "I'll be right here when you wake up." That seemed to calm Michael down and after a while the sobs subdued and turned into soft snores. With his aching erection and the heat of Michael's bare skin against his it took an hour before Ivan finally joined Michael in deep slumber.
The next morning Ivan was awakened by Led Zeppelin playing softly from Michael's stereo. He opened his eyes and saw Michael sitting at his desk staring at a picture frame. Ivan knew it was a picture of Michael and David. Ivan sat up and got out of the bed. He walked over behind Michael and saw that he was right. It was a picture of him and his father. It was a picture from the day David bought Michael his first CD, an album by the Backstreet Boys. Ivan was the one who had taken that picture on Michael's ninth birthday.
"That was a great day." Ivan said from behind Michael.
"Every day with him was." Michael replied turning to him. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
"No." Ivan smiled. "It was actually a nice way to wake up."
"He loved Led Zeppelin." Michael said as he picked up a Led Zeppelin record. He stared at the cover as he spoke. "I remember when mom left us and Dad burned all the records we owned. He said that music would just remind him of her but he never was able to burn this one." Michael smiled wistfully. "He said that he couldn't burn the other love of his life."
"You used to hate it when he played his records." Ivan commented.
Michael nodded. "Yeah but I secretly loved it. They always give me this feeling I couldn't really describe, even now."
When he saw Ivan's forehead wrinkle, he continued. "It's like my stomach is churning and my heart's going to burst. But all of it in a good way."
Ivan smiled. "Sounds to me like you're in love."
Michael returned the record to the table. "I know. It's ridiculous."
"No, it's not!" Ivan said as he sat on the computer chair next to Michael. "It's beautiful." He put a hand on Michael's shoulder. "And it's you."
Michael was about to say something but Ivan cut him off. "Open your laptop." Michael looked at him strangely. "C'mon. Turn it on." He did as what he was told and took the laptop from the desk and gave it to Ivan. "The last time I checked you had at least a thousand of songs in here and now you have..." Ivan opened Michael's music folder. "Almost three thousand! See, you love music."
Michael looked down so Ivan tapped his shoulder lightly. "Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of."
He avoided Ivan's eyes. "Music was mom's thing. It doesn't deserve a place in here."
"Michael, you're dad fell in love with music way before he met your mother. It was just a coincidence that she loves it too." Ivan tried to prove the point. "You said it yourself. He couldn't burn his entire record collection." Ivan picked up the Led Zeppelin record. "Especially this one."
Michael looked at him and was about to say something but his cell phone rang On his night stand. "Excuse me." He said and went to pick up his phone. "Hey, Alex."
Of course, Ivan thought. He wondered why she wasn't there last night but given the situation, he really didn't have the opportunity to ask Michael. "I think it's time for me to go." Ivan said as he stood up.
"Wait. Hold on." Michael covered the phone with his hand and spoke to Ivan. "Why?"
Ivan shrugged and smiled. "I'm sure Alex is already on her way and besides, I have to see if my room's still in one piece after Jesse slept in it."
"What, are you guys sleeping over now?" Michael asked, completely forgetting Alex on the phone.
"Jean sort of gave him an invitation and I just agreed with her." He could tell Michael had more questions to ask so he continued. "I gotta go." Ivan gestured to Michael's cell phone. "Alex is waiting." With that, he left Michael's room and closed the door behind him.
Michael held the cell phone back to his ear and talked. "Hey, sorry. It's just Ivan..."
"So you guys are okay now?" Alex asked.
"I don't know actually." Michael reviewed the recent events in his mind. "I guess so."
"Good." Alex said. "I hope the three of us can soon get back to normal."
"Yeah." Michael paused as he imagined the three of them hanging out together again. That'd be nice, he thought. "So how's your mom?"
"She's better now compared to last night." She exhaled deeply. "You should've seen her. She was such a mess."
"Sorry." Michael said.
"No! I'm the one that's should be sorry. I should have been there for you." She said sincerely.
"It's okay. I understand." He replied.
When Ivan arrived at his house, Jean had already left. On his way to the stairs, he noticed Jesse in the kitchen. "Hey." Jesse greeted him. Ivan didn't respond and continued to go up to his room. He knew Jesse would have left it in a mess. He even could've gone through his stuff. He suddenly remembered his journal that he kept at the bottom of his dresser. He hurried to his room and found it just the way he had left it. Everything was still in place and the bed was made neatly. He narrowed his eyes as he thought that there must be something wrong in his room. He could just feel it in his gut. He checked his drawers, the closet, and his dresser. He went through the papers on his desk and the things on his bed stand. Everything was in their perfect place, even his journal.
He went back downstairs to confront Jesse. "Did you go through my stuff?"
Jesse laughed. "And good morning to you too." Ivan cocked an eyebrow at him. "Of course not. Why don't you relax? Take a pill or something."
"Isn't that supposed to be your thing?" Ivan said as he took some orange juice from the pitcher on the table.
Jesse laughed again. "Oh my god. And I thought Jean was exaggerating about you being a morning bitch on a bad hair day."
Ivan choked on his juice. "She said that?"
"Of course not. Morning bitch on a bad hair day is all mine." Jesse grinned.
Ivan realized how he was treating Jesse. "I'm sorry."
"It's cool dude." Jesse's smile softened. "I'm sure that not being a morning person is genetic."
"Yeah. That and for suspecting that you went through my stuff."
Jesse went beside him and put his arm around his shoulder. "Dude, seriously. It's okay." Ivan smiled at him. "And besides, who said that I didn't read your diary."
Ivan's eyes widened. "Oh my god! Dude! You have a diary?!" Jesse was practically screaming in excitement.
"No. I have a journal." Ivan stated firmly.
"Journal. Diary. What's the difference?" Jesse asked.
"Diaries are for girls and always starts with `Dear Diary,' while journals are like narrations of the days of your life." Ivan explained.
Jesse nodded at him mockingly. "Whatever."
Ivan shook his head and saw the waffles Jesse was eating. He took some and put it in his mouth. "Hey! I was eating that." Jesse scolded him. Ivan started chewing and realized the awful taste. He rushed to the garbage bin and spat the chewed waffles into it.
"Tell me that wasn't Jean's waffles." Ivan said after rinsing his mouth at the sink.
"No." Jesse beamed with pride. "I made them." Ivan felt like throwing up as he remembered the taste. Jesse noticed his expression. "What? Dude,
it's tasty."
"Yeah, tasty as in too sweet and too salty at the same time." Ivan tried to cover the taste by drinking more orange juice. "You should totally stop cooking."
Jesse narrowed his eyes to Ivan. "Funny. You're like the tenth person to ever say that."
"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" Ivan asked, changing the subject. "I don't have to be. Our friend Michael just had his father die."
"My friend." Ivan said emphasizing the first word. "And there's not going to be any funeral. They had his father cremated and the jar containing his ashes will be kept in their house."
"Really? Damn, I really didn't want to go to school today." Ivan heard Jesse talk to himself.
"But family and friends will get together later this afternoon to commemorate him." Ivan said. Jesse's face lit up. "You're not family or exactly a friend either."
"But, dude, I'm a friend of a best friend." Jesse tried to convince Ivan.
"I don't know. You know how you and Michael don't really get along. I don't think it's best for you to be there." Ivan said sincerely.
"He hates me." Jesse declared.
"You did steal his parking spot." Ivan pointed out.
Jesse tried to argue. "The dude doesn't own the spot!"
Ivan shrugged. "Well, he's pissed anyway."
Jesse exhaled deeply. "Whatever. I'll just call in sick." He looked at Ivan. "How's he doing by the way?"
"He misses his father badly. They were pretty close." Ivan replied.
Jesse nodded. "Okay. I'll be going now. Just send him my condolences."
Ivan smiled. "I'll make sure he gets it."
After taking a shower and changing his clothes, he drove to Jean's diner to fill her in on the details and tell her about the get together that afternoon. He then proceeded to Michael's house. He went inside the open door and was greeted by Junior playing with another kid.
"Ivan!" Junior shouted as he ran towards him.
Ivan knelt down to the boy's level. "Hey buddy. Who's your friend?" He asked looking at the other boy.
"I'm his uncle." Junior said proudly.
"Nu-uh!" The other boy protested.
"Okay you goofs, cut it out." Mark, Sophia' s husband, said walking into the room. Ivan smiled at the sight of him. He looked more fatherly. Definitely not the always-high-and-drunk Mark he knew from high school.
"Hey Mark. How's it going?" Ivan said giving him a hug.
"I'm great. You?"
Ivan wanted to say `okay' but he didn't want this to be about him so he went with, "I'm great." Mark looked at him like he already knew what had happened between him, Michael and Alex.
"Do you guys need any help?" Ivan offered.
"No. Sophia and I already have it under control. Why don't you check on Michael? He hasn't come out of his room since breakfast." Mark said.
Ivan really wanted to avoid it but knew that he had no choice. Besides, he had a promise to keep to David. He went upstairs and knocked on Michael's door. "It's me, Ivan." He heard no response but he went in anyway. He walked in on a sleeping Ivan hugging the Led Zeppelin album and the picture of him and his dad. He came closer to Michael and found tears on his face. Ivan hesitated but ended up wiping them with his hand.
Michael opened his eyes and saw him. "Ivan?"
Ivan immediately removed his hand from Michael's face as he stuttered. "I, I was just uhm, checking on you and uh... and I saw uhm, tears on your face and I uh..."
Michael smiled. "Ivan, it's okay, no big deal."
"Right." Ivan smiled nervously. "So where's Alex?" He asked, changing the subject.
"She was about to come here but her mom..." Michael's voice trailed off.
Ivan already understood. "You want me to go and get her?"
"Ivan, it's okay..."
Ivan shook his head. "No. This is for your dad. The three of us should be together."
Michael looked away. "Yeah. For dad."
Ivan suddenly realized what he'd said. "No! I mean, I'm here for you too. The three of us should be together for you, David and your family."
Michael looked at him. "Thanks Ivan." He smiled. "I really appreciate it."
Ivan just nodded at him. "I'm gonna go to Alex now." He walked to the door.
"Ivan." Michael called to him and Ivan turned around. "I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you when your mom died." Ivan nodded again before leaving. As good as it was to have Ivan in his life again, Michael still wasn't convinced that he had been forgiven.
First of all, thank you to all those who cared enough about the story to e-mail me. I really thought no one was reading me anymore. At least I know now that you guys are still with me on this so if you don't feel like it or if it isn't really your thing, you can not e-mail me. It's no biggie :)
On the topic of quicker submission of chapters, I'm afraid I can't really write any faster than one chapter per week. The thing is I'm nineteen years old and still a student nurse. My only free days for writing are during Wednesdays and Saturdays. The rest of my days are spent on attending classes or interning in the hospital, so please understand. Okay? I guess, that's it.
Thanks for reading guys! And thanks again to Mr. Scott for proof reading my work.