Warning: If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please leave now.
This story is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. ___________________________________________________________________________
Jesse didn't know what had made Max agree to come up to his room with him. Maybe it was the desperation in his voice when he begged, "Please Max. I don't want us to be like this. Just let me explain." Or maybe Max had come to the party because he wanted to tell Jesse what a jerk he thought he was. Ever since Max had walked in on Andy and Jesse in the basement, Jesse had spent most of his days thinking about how to apologize and explain everything to Max. He had played the conversation over and over in his head at least a hundred times, but it always ended differently. Sometimes, it would end up with Max on top of Jesse, kissing him fiercely. Sometimes, it ended with Max walking out on him. And now, Max was sitting on his desk chair in his room but the words Jesse had rehearsed refused to come out of his mouth.
"Well?" Max said, distracting him from his thoughts.
Jesse exhaled and said, "I'm gay."
"Yeah. Seeing you kiss that Andy guy already told me that."
Jesse tried to decipher Max's tone but he came up with a blank. His face said nothing either.
"Well, are you mad at me for it?"
"What, that you kissed that guy?" Max said, surprise in his voice. "Of course not." And then he added, "I'm not mad at you Jesse. I'm disappointed."
Jesse looked away from him. "Because I'm gay." He stated.
"No. I'm disappointed because you lied to me about it." Jesse met his eyes and knew Max was telling the truth. "I thought we were cooler than that."
"We were." Jesse wanted to kick himself. Max was right. They had grown Really close, but he was too preoccupied with getting Max to like him romantically that it had gone over his head how accepting Max really was. But would he accept the fact he had feelings for him?
"We are, Jesse. We are cool." Max said, a smile forming on his face.
Jesse smiled back but in his head, he was wondering if he should tell Max how he felt about him. Ivan had done it to Michael. Jesse was sure he too could find that courage somehow. But, of course, it apparently hadn't gone so well for Ivan.
"As long as there are no more secrets between us." Max added lightly, but his eyes were looking intently at Jesse.
Jesse fought hard to keep the expression on his face from falling. He didn't want to lie to Max again but what if this one piece of information could ruin their friendship for good?
"What is going on out there?" Max asked going to the door.
"Huh?" Jesse hadn't been paying attention to anything aside from Max and his thoughts. But now, he could hear noises and chattering from outside his room. The party suddenly seemed louder.
Max opened the door and the sounds from outside washed into the room. Jesse heard someone say something that caught his attention.
"Andy Pearson?!" A girl voice said incredulously.
Jesse's eyes immediately went to the bottom drawer of his nightstand where he had been keeping the tape of him and Andy, in case Andy couldn't keep his end of the bargain.
He wrapped his hand around the drawer handle, wishing to himself that the tape was still inside. He slid the drawer open and the tape was gone.
This can't be happening, Ivan thought. Jesse wouldn't be so stupid as to leave the tape of himself and Andy out in plain sight. Ivan ran back into the house, hoping that he had heard the boy wrong. But when he arrived inside, a crowd was already forming around the door to the basement rec room. It seemed like whatever was happening, everyone at the party was eager to be in on it.
"He has a sex tape." Ivan heard someone whisper.
Ivan tried to think positively. Maybe Jesse recorded himself with other guys. He hadn't seemed troubled at all when he had done it with Andy. Maybe that was just one of the things Jesse did for kicks. But Ivan had to face it. If that were the case, Jesse would surely have told him about it.
Ivan was struggling to pass through all the people that blocked his way when he heard someone from the basement. "Is that Andy Pearson!?"
Ivan cringed. This really was happening.
Loud footsteps came running down the stairs and shouted, "Get out of my way!" It was Jesse followed closely by Max.
Ivan saw the fear in Jesse's face. Nope. That wasn't the face of a guy that had a habit of recording himself having sex. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, Jesse saw Ivan and the two exchanged worried looks.
"Can you please just get out of the way?" Ivan asked the people in front them.
Out of nowhere Michael started gently pushing through the crowd. "Come on, guys. Nothing to see here." His voice was calm but it was firm. As he passed Ivan and Jesse, he tried grabbing Ivan's arm. But accidentally, he grabbed Ivan's hand instead.
Ivan quickly pulled his hand away from Michael, who appeared to be equally as surprised as he was. Michael quickly turned away and continued advancing towards the stairs leading down to the basement with Ivan, Jesse and Max following him.
As Jesse landed at the bottom of the stairs, he saw himself on the TV screen. He was exposed. Not just his body parts but also his sexuality. That moment, he felt more naked than he actually had in the footage.
"Turn it off!" Jesse shouted amidst the hoots and holleringas he walked his way past through the crowd to the TV.
"A sextape, really? Now that's original," said by an amused Randy who was standing close to the flat screen on the wall.
Jesse, having heard the remark, growled as he stomped across the basement. Ivan was behind him while Max went straight to the power cord to unplug it.
"Okay, party's over. Everybody out!" Michael announced, clapping his hands together loudly to get the room's attention. "C'mon people. Party's over!"
Groans of disapproval went around the room but everyone obeyed Michael's command. Michael followed the crowd to the door just to make sure everyone would be leaving.
"Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame." Randy said to Jesse as he passed by to leave the room.
"You did this." Jesse hissed.
Randy shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not." He said, walking out through the door.
"That dirty little bitch! I know he's the one who did this." Jesse said to no one in particular.
"C'mon Jesse. Randy isn't that type of person." Max said certainly.
"Yeah, it could be anybody." Alex added.
Jesse wanted to argue about how Randy was exactly the type of person
that could do such a thing but it did seem a little far fetched. He looked at Ivan who he knew was thinking the same thing. "If this reaches Andy..."
"Let's not go to the worst case scenario." Alex said.
"Jesse's right Alex. If he finds out that people have seen this video, he'll go crazy. We have just outed him and Jesse." Ivan said.
"It's not like we played the tape in purpose." Max tried to pacify them. "And Jesse will be fine. I have his back and so does the Alliance. I'm sure everyone will support him through this."
Jesse managed to smile a little. Max can be so sweetly sincere at times.
"The Alliance?" Alex asked out loud although she seemed to be only speaking to herself.
"Yeah. I'm sure the group will be able to do something--
"No, that wasn't a question for you guys. An idea just popped in my mind. I think I might have a plan to stop this news from reaching Andy." A wicked smile formed on Alex's face.
The three boys just looked at her with curiosity. Alex just raised her eyebrows.
"I'll tell you guys all about it tomorrow. Let's just sleep it off for tonight and don't worry I'll be making some moves on my own later to kick-start my plan."
Ivan, Jesse and Max just exchanged worried glances.
"Alex, you know what you're doing, right? You're not gonna get yourself into trouble or anything." Ivan said.
Alex rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying. I have a few tricks of my own. I promise it doesn't involve any danger."
"Okay then..." Jesse said tentatively. "Well, you guys can go. I still have some cleaning up to do. Any signs of a party being thrown here will be enough for my parents to ground me until I turn 18."
"Don't be silly. Of course, we'll stay and help you clean up." Alex said.
"Yeah. We don't mind." Michael agreed as he returned from clearing the people out of the rest of the house.
"No. I'll stay. You guys can take off." Ivan said pointedly, looking at Michael. It made the boy stop in his tracks but he recovered immediately.
"Okay then. Let's go Alex." Michael nodded his head towards the door .
"Are you sure babe? I don't mind at all, really."
"I'm kinda beat." Michael reasoned. "Sorry Jesse."
Jesse waived it off. "Its okay. I have Ivan here anyway." He looked at Ivan, sensing the tension between him and Michael.
"Let's go then." Alex said as she hooked her arm with Michael's. "And I want to talk to you about something too." The two went back up the stairs and soon Michael's jeep could be heard driving off.
"I'll stay here and crash if you don't mind." Max said to Jesse.
Ivan and Jesse exchanged looks. That was unexpected.
Max then quickly added, "I forgot my keys to the house and I don't wanna wake up my parents."
"Sure. It's fine." Jesse said a little too nonchalantly. He didn't want to make it seem like the thought of Max staying the night excited him, which it really did.
"Guys I think I'll start cleaning out back." Ivan announced and left the two boys in the rec room.
It looked to Ivan like things were starting to work out between Max and Jesse. But as for him and Michael things were far from working out. He didn't know what had come over him. He had come down hard on Michael and he didn't have any right to do that. Who was he kidding? He was just another gay guy in love with his best friend. Of course it would never work. But sometimes Ivan would see a look in Michael's eyes that gave him hope that maybe--just maybe, he could feel the same way about him.
Ivan tried to push back his thoughts about Michael and suddenly felt fortunate that he had Andy to worry about again. It was ironic. When his world revolved around his own problems, especially with his tormentor, he wanted them all to be over. And when it seemed like they finally were, his mind had been taken over by his feelings for Michael. But now, he was picking Andy over Michael -- well, to mull over anyway. He really didn't know what to do about all of this mess. He felt guilty for even getting Jesse into this position and he had to admit, outing Andy didn't give him any pleasure at all. He felt sick to his stomach just thinking of what Andy would do if he found out that he had been outed at a high school party. And what was Alex's plan? The smile on her face wasn't the sweet friendly kind that she had for her friends. It was the wily one with a mean streak to it.
Ivan was picking up trash in Jesse's backyard when he saw a passed-out Jake on one of the benches. He walked towards the bench and pondered if he should wake him or let him get eaten up by mosquitoes for a night. Ivan thought it would serve him right after what he did to him at the dance. But before he could decide what to do with Jake, the boy's eyes opened.
"Ivan," he said as he pulled himself up to a sitting position. "Where'd everybody go?"
"The party's over." Ivan said as he picked up the empty beer bottles nearby.
Jake took out his phone to check the time. "But it's just 2 am."
"We ended the party after somebody had decided to play Jesse's little sex tape with Andy on the big screen in the basement rec room." Ivan explained.
"What? Who would do that?"
Ivan shrugged. "We don't have any idea. Let's just hope Andy doesn't find out about this." He felt a nervous tingle as he pictured Andy beating him up.
Jake stood up and reached for Ivan's shoulders. "Relax, Ivan. Maybe not a lot of people saw it."
"I was there Jake. If you weren't so busy chasing on girls or guys or any mouth you can shove your tongue into, you too would've noticed that almost everyone at the party saw the video and it was clearly showing both their
faces."
Jake winced. "I'm sorry. But if it makes you feel any better I wasn't out here tonight to hook up with someone else. I came here just for you, so I could talk to you."
"That's funny. 'Cause I came to the dance for you and you totally blew me off." Ivan stopped and tried to contain himself. The conversation was deteriorating and it wasn't helping either of them. "I'm sorry. I'm just going to finish cleaning up out here. You can go home now if you want to."
"No. Let me help you." Jake said and offered to take the black trash bag from Ivan.
Ivan hesitated at first but then handed the bag quietly to Jake. The two boys walked around the yard, picking up bottles and cups.
When they finished, they went back inside the house and found Jesse and Max eating sandwiches from the kitchen counter. They were in a middle of conversation and Ivan couldn't help but notice the smile on Jesse's face.
"Jake, I didn't know you're still here." Jesse said as he saw the two walking in.
Jake smiled sheepishly. "I passed out on one of your benches outside while everything went down."
"How are you holding up?" Ivan thought he had to ask although Jesse seemed to already have lightened up for some reason.
Jesse nodded yes. "You guys hungry? Max here can make you sandwiches."
Max, with his mouth full, groaned at Jesse but had a smile on his face.
"I'll have one." Jake went Max's side to help with sandwich duty.
Jesse made his way to Ivan who was on the other side of the kitchen. "You sure you don't want one?"
"I'm fine. But are you sure you're all right? You suddenly seem so okay." Ivan pointed out. It was strange to him. A few moments ago, Jesse had been upset and had even been putting blame on Randy but now he just seemed like he was over it.
"That's because I am okay. Max and I were just talking and he made me realize that I am surrounded by friends. That I'm not going to go through this on my
own. I have you, Michael, Alex and him. Especially him."
Ivan agreed. He was just worried that things would go bad for Jesse because of what had happened. After all it was so much like what had happened too him not too long ago. But Jesse was right. He had friends. Something that Ivan didn't seem to have had at the time.
"Worrying won't do any good, you know. So just take it easy Ivan. I know you. You have the tendency to overanalyze everything. But what's done is done and whatever's gonna happen from here, we'll face it together. I promise. Everything will be okay."
"You think so?"
"I know so." Jesse grinned and opened his arms to offer Ivan a hug.
Not used to being affectionate with Jesse, Ivan rolled his eyes and caved.
"God, I'm the one who will walk into school on Monday as a newly outed gay guy and you're the one who needs assurance." Jesse said and they
both chuckled.
A cell phone started beeping and the two separated to check on their phones. "I just got a text from Alex. She said to meet up tomorrow morning
at 10 in Jean's diner." Ivan stated. Not long after he finished, the others' phones beeped one by one. They all got the same message. "I guess, we're all going then."
The next morning, Ivan was the first to arrive. He greeted Jean a good morning and sat on one of the stools at the counter.
"How was the party?" Jean said as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him.
My best friend and I are on the outs because of my undying feelings for him and Jesse just had a sex tape released, Ivan thought. "Eh. You know... The usual high school rager." Jean didn't need to know what was going on. The last thing Ivan wanted was to worry her.
Jean looked like she wanted to talk more, but customers started coming in. Jean attended them and after Ivan finished his coffee, he tried helping her out around the diner. Soon, Jesse arrived and he and Ivan ate breakfast while they waited for the others.
"Is Max coming?" Ivan asked Jesse.
"Yeah." Jesse replied simply.
"What time did you guys get up? I tried to wake you up before I left but your room was locked."
Jesse's eyes were fixed on his food. "I don't know. I didn't really check the time. Eight-ish, I guess. Then I drove him home."
Ivan narrowed his eyes at Jesse. He didn't even look up from eating his food and there was an odd tone in his voice. "There's something you're not telling me."
That made Jesse look up to meet his gaze. "What are you talking about? Since when did I keep stuff from you?"
"Now, apparently."
Jesse put down his knife and fork. "Fine. Busted. But promise you won't tell anyone." Ivan nodded. "Max and I made out last night."
Ivan's jaw dropped. "No!"
Jesse grinned. "Yes. But don't tell anyone okay? Max doesn't want anyone to know."
"But I thought he was straight. He said so himself."
Jesse shrugged. "Well apparently he's heteroflexible. It was a pretty heavy make-out session with a lot of crotch grabbing."
Ivan's head was full of questions. "How did it even start?"
"Well, our lips met..."
Ivan squinted his eyes at Jesse who chuckled and response. "I don't know. We were in my bed and I started feeling his breath on the back of my neck, I turned around and a few moments later we were going at it."
Ivan was going to ask for more details but Max had arrived. "Hey." He greeted him with a conscious effort to sound normal.
"Hey." Max greeted back and sat on Jesse's side of the booth.
"Good morning." Jesse greeted him with a smile, which Max returned with a bigger smile.
Ivan was across the table and couldn't help but notice how the two actually looked like a couple. As Max was making his order, Ivan saw an actual couple walking into the diner, Michael and Alex. Alex was giggling as Michael whispered something in her ear.
Ivan's stomach started to turn. Suddenly he was nervous and didn't know to act around the two of them. At the party, he didn't have any inhibitions because of the alcohol in his system but now, it all felt awkward and uncomfortable. "I need to go to the men's room." He announced and left the table.
Ivan splashed some water on his face and stared at his reflection in the
mirror. He thought he looked pathetic, fighting a battle he knew he would lose. He loved Michael and the more he realized that fact, the harder it was to be around him, especially seeing him with Alex. Whenever he was near Michael, he'd feel the need to touch him, feel him. But it just couldn't be. He was just himself--just a friend. And that is something that he'd always have to live with. The thought was depressing but it was the truth. And like everybody always says, the truth sometimes hurts.
Thank you guys for patiently waiting. I know it's been a really long time since the latest update but I promise that I'll try to post the next chapters faster. What do you guys think of the latest chapter? Feel free to tell me your thoughts through email or through the readers' page. :)
Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for patiently editing my work. For those who aren't still members of the facebook readers' page, we have lots of room for you guys. If you want to join, here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/
Thanks! Keep on reading :)