I Lost Myself

By Leather Pleasures

Published on Mar 22, 2007

Lesbian

You should know the usual spiel by now!

This story contains consensual sex between women. If you're offended by same sex relations please don't read any further!

leatherpleasures@hotmail.co.uk

This is one of my darker stories!

I had been on a buzz all day. It was Jenny's birthday and I had it all planned out. I had made a reservation at her favourite restaurant and I had also been to the jewellers to pick up her present. After I picked up a bunch of her favourite lilies I headed home to surprise her. When I arrived home I knew straight away that something was wrong. In the living room there was an open bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table. I unsteadily followed the sound of moaning to the bedroom. I stopped when I got to the doorway. Jenny was on her hands and knees on the bed. A familiar woman who I couldn't place was wearing my strap on and filling my girlfriend's ass with my favourite purple dildo.

"Get the fuck out of my house" I whispered as I gripped the doorframe and tried to keep the bile that was rising. "Get the fuck out of my house!" I yelled as I dragged the woman off my bed and through the living room and out the front door. When I slammed the door I leant against it for a minute and then took a deep breath and headed to the bedroom.

She knew exactly how I felt about cheating, we had talked about it and she knew that if anyone ever cheated on me they would be shown the door without any discussion, and yet I come home to her being fucked by a familiar woman I couldn't place and they have the nerve to use my toys.

When I got to the bedroom, Jenny had put her robe on and was sitting on the bed crying. Was I was suppose to feel sorry for her? It always used to upset me to see her cry. I went straight to the wardrobe and started gathering her clothes. I kept telling myself to ignore her because I knew how angry I was and I didn't want to do something I would regret later. I had an armful of her clothes and carried them to the front door, opened it and threw them out. I went back to the bedroom to get some more.

"Please say something, talk to me...yell at me...anything!" Jenny cried as she hit me to get my attention. I kept ignoring her but I could taste the blood from the inside of my mouth. I didn't realize I was biting down on my lip. When I finished throwing her clothes out I went up to her and grabbed her arm and showed her the front door. She did try to put up a fight but she knew that she wasn't going to win. Once I had got her out the front door I slammed it shut and fell to my knees. I couldn't cry because that meant Jenny would win. I don't know how long I was on my knees for, when I opened my eyes the room was dark. I got to my feet, poured myself a scotch and tried to figure out what I was suppose to do next. I downed my drink and then made a call.

When I knocked on the door she opened it and I went in without saying a word, I knew exactly where to go. When I got to the room I turned around and faced her. "The safeword is the same... use the crop." I told her as I stripped and faced the metal cross. I felt her come up behind me to restrain my wrists, ankles and waist. When she had finished I closed my eyes and waited. Whack' for falling in love with you... Whack' for believing we could last... Whack' for all the times I held you tight when you cried... Whack' for all the times you said you loved me... Whack' for all the times I said I love you... Whack' for all the times you made me laugh.

I could still feel the pain each time the crop made contact with my back. I will get Jenny out of my mind. I will not hurt from what she did to me. It was a good thing I was held in place because it was getting harder to stand up and I could feel my wrists stretching, but I welcomed the pain.

Whack' for all the times you touched me... Whack' for all the times you made me cum... Whack' for all 6 anniversaries we had... Whack' for me getting down on one knee and asking you to be my wife... `Whack'

When I woke up I was in my bed. I could smell Jenny. I tried to sit up but the pain shot threw me like a spear and I felt the waves of nausea surface. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder guide me back down. "Don't move sweetie." I heard Jenny sob. I closed my eyes and let the pain consume me. I don't know how long I had closed my eyes for; the next thing I felt was a soft gentle hand rubbing cream on my back.

"I did this to you...I'm so sorry, I don't know how to make it right." Jenny cried. I couldn't find my voice to reply. I didn't want to reply. I wanted her to hold me and make all the pain go away. "I can't believe she didn't stop until you passed out. How could she not see what state you were in? It has been so long since you went to see her and it's all my fault, it should be me with all these welts. Tell me how I can fix this?" I listened to Jenny as she moved around to look into my eyes. "Oh baby! Please don't cry!" Jenny sobbed as wiped my eyes and tried to hold me but realized she couldn't so she gently stroked my head.

"You can stay her until you find a place to stay, ok?" I quietly told her as I sat at the breakfast bar sipping my coffee. It had been just over a week since Jenny got a call saying that I was in trouble. This was my second day out of bed. I could just about manage to wear a t-shirt without too much pain. "Are you sure you don't mind, it's not a problem for me to stay at a hotel." Jenny gently told me as she came to sit next to me. "No, it's fine, stay her until you get yourself sorted." I told her as I stroked her bare arm as I got up to refill my coffee.

I took my coffee outside and sat on the deck and tried to analyse all the thoughts in my head. I know what the right thing to do is but I don't think I am strong enough to let her go, but could I forgive her if she stayed? Would she do it again? I just want to make her feel how I feel. I couldn't let anyone else touch me now She was the first girlfriend that I let touch me, it took me six months and she had the patience to wait. "Hey you! It's time to put some more cream on your back." Jenny said gently from behind me. "How long have you been standing there?" I said as uncovered my back for her. "Your going to end up with scars." She said as she carefully rubbed the cream in. Once she was done I got up without another word and left her there on the deck.

She was sitting on the deck with her head in her hands crying. I saw her reach for her phone and answer it. A few minutes later she joined me at the breakfast bar and told me that the flat she looked at the other day would be ready in a couple of days. The thought of living in this house without her suddenly hit me like a kick to the stomach. I made my way back to bed because I felt physically sick.

I had made a few phone calls while Jenny was at work. When she got home I grabbed her arm and took her straight to the bedroom. "What are you doing?" Jenny said as she tried to release her arm. I was gripping it tight and I knew she was going to have a bruise in the morning. "Shut up!" I growled at her as we got into the bedroom. I directed Jenny to the chair in the corner of the bedroom. I think I scared her because when she saw my face she stopped resisting and sank into the chair while I put the restraints on her. I then left her alone in the bedroom.

It was at least ten minutes before I went back in but this time I bought with me a familiar face. Jenny gasped when she saw us. "Keep your mouth shut!" I said before she had the chance to speak. The woman's name was Sam and the reason she looked familiar is because she is the owner of my local sex shop and she was also the same woman who I threw out of my house the other night. I had phoned her earlier and talked with her and she was more than happy to come over.

I told Sam to strip and then get on her hands and knees on the bed and wait for me. As I passed Jenny on the way to the bathroom I could see that she was trying not to cry but when I found her eyes she let out a sob. She knew what I was about to do. I came back out a few minutes later still fully clothed but I had put my harness on under my jeans. I threw a bottle of lube at Sam and told her to put some on her anus. Once she had done that I took out my dildo and put some lube on it.

I didn't have to look over to Jenny to see if she was crying because I could hear her from the bed. Once Sam was ready I climbed onto the bed, grabbed her hips and forced my dildo into her ass. She cried out as my hips made contact with her ass which stopped me from thrusting it in any further. I didn't give her time to adjust as I fucked her with it. I could feel my eyes burning as the tears ran down my face. I looked over at Jenny and I could see her shoulders shaking and her eyes were closed. "Keep your fucking eyes open and watch me!" I yelled at her as I continued to fuck Sam. All of a sudden it hit me and I realised what I was doing. I pulled out of Sam jumped off the bed and went out the front door.

It took me a minute to find the keyhole on the front door. When I managed the door flew open and I fell in onto the floor. It took me a couple of attempts to try and stand up. "You're drunk!" I heard Jenny's voice somewhere in the room. "What's it to you?" I slurred back at her trying to find some more alcohol. As I poured myself some scotch I felt her arms around my waist. "Don't touch me." I hissed at her trying to pull away but she was too strong for me. "Don't touch me." I sobbed at her. "Shh...Let me just you." She whispered into my back.

We stood there for what seamed like hours. "I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry! You should leave." I said as I turned around to face her. "I don't want to, I want to stay with you." Jenny said as she wiped my tears away. "Come to bed with me and hold me please, I don't want to talk." I said as I lead her to the bedroom. "Ok, in the morning." She said as she followed me to our bed.

leatherpleasures@hotmail.co.uk

Next: Chapter 2


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