I Hate You So Much That I Love You

By Marcos Rojas

Published on Nov 22, 2005

Gay

Hi all of you out there! I know this been log. Maybe too long... Hope you still can remember what this story is about. I planned a little change now, but you will see that. Feedback, as always is required!

Marcos


I hate you so much that I love you 3

Coming home from school Enrique checked his father's office. Seeing there were no threats he quickly went upstairs and entered his room. Dropping his backpack he pushed the start button on his laptop, chaotically taking off his clothes and sending them into all possible directions. He had just a few seconds to look down on his little bud. Enrique Junior was his pride, uncut as his mother fortunately didn't really care. Enrique was pretty horny at the age of 15, he actually was feeling physical ache if he couldn't jack off at least two times a day. His hand was shaking, as he clicked on his favorite site. A sexy guy appeared on the screen. Downloading the video, Enrique started slowly stroking his 8'. It was just too much. He needed to get away from school, from the stress. The dialog box blinked and Enrique started the video turning off the sound. This was his measure of protection not to be caught by his father. Finally on his bed he started touching his pecs playing a while with his nipples.

Enrique had no clue which his father's plans were for that day. Seeing the boy's car the father grinned and parked further away from the house, so that his son couldn't hear him coming home. Sneaking in the house he took off his shoes and walked up the flight of stairs. Biting his lower lip his eyes smiled. "This should be the best gift for him!" However the silence was annoying, this wasn't typical for Enrique. Even while learning the boy always listened to music, as music was like a drug for him. He now could only hear strange noises from the room. As he got closer he could hear the heavy breathing of Enrique. The father still didn't realize what was going on in his boy's room. Finally reaching the door he opened his eyes widely. There was his boy on his back hammering away with a speed that made his own dick react. The entire beauty of the boy seemed so new for him now. Sweat made the olive body of the boy shiny. The black hair on his arms and pecs, leading down to his belly and to his pubes gave him a special look. He always admired his boy's body. The long years of football training strengthened Enrique's body. He pretty much had the looks of a jock. He blushed suddenly realizing he has just been spying on his own son, but just as he wanted to turn around Enrique's body stiffened, the boy yelled and with a content whiny "Oh yeah!" released his load. Thick cum flew through the air and landed on the boy's hair as he was moving without being able to control his body. The father was stunned. He was overwhelmed by this new experience. He never thought about his boy in this manner. That this boy had started his sexual life never crossed his mind. Now he was wondering whether there was more to know. The typical thoughts of a parent gathered as storm clouds on a blue sky. Feeling his orgasm fade away Enrique rolled on his stomach. Being in his post-orgasm state, halfway sleepy, he wanted to check again if there was anything threatening. His dark brown eyes met his father's eyes.

"Oh shit! Oh! Dad! Oh! Ahm, how long have you been standing there?" the boy asked out of breath and freaked to death.

"Long enough to see what was going on!" the guy answered. He gave his boy another look of disbelief and walked away.

Enrique felt his face burning. He dropped his head on the pillow. It was then in his deepest shame that he realized he didn't even look at the monitor. "Oh God, I really don't want to know this!" He turned his head to find a black monitor. Fortunately he has forgotten to set the player to repeat the clip. "At least he doesn't know I'm gay!" Deeply ashamed Enrique took a shower.

It was time to face his father but he still didn't have the guts. "How can I face him now? What is he going to tell me? I have just destroyed my good son image! Dear Lord!" Enrique was sweating. He might have been a pretty smart kid for his age but he sure didn't know how to handle this situation. The minutes passed and he knew he had to do something, at least go talk to his dad.

He struggled for a short while then decided to face his destiny. Enrique was actually all his dad had, so he didn't have anything to worry about. The two of them had a pact, and Enrique knew there is only one moment he starts hiding things from his father and their relation will have to suffer. He didn't want that to happen. With his 15 and his experience he clearly knew his father was the only person who he could rely on. Walking down the stairs he took one last deep breath and entered the room. His dad was, as usual sitting at his desk and reading something. Lost in his thoughts the man didn't see his son coming. Enrique stood there and observed his dad for a while. He still was a young man, a beautiful young man. He still couldn't understand why he has chosen to take care of him. At his age he should have been dealing with other things like going out and get himself a life, because the one he was having couldn't really be called a life...

"Dad... Uhm..." The man didn't bother to interrupt his reading.

"Something on your mind?" He said raising his left eyebrow. This was a sign for Enrique. He knew this is going to be interesting. He sighed and took a seat on the other side of the desk. This is the well known seat students or editors take whenever his dad works at home and doesn't bother to go to his office. This is the magical chair, where truth is always said.

"Well... Dad... Uhm..." Enrique wanted to begin and gave his dad a helpless look. His entire face screamed for help, but the man didn't bother to look at him.

"You already said that twice." The man answered in a somehow amused tone.

"The... THING... I was doing..." Enrique tried to begin from somewhere.

"What THING?"

"THE thing what you saw... today... earlier...in my room... me..."

"You what?"

"Come on dad, you know... Me..." Enrique felt the blood rising into his head. `Great, not only that I behave like a cheerleader, I turn the color of Barbie too!'

"You what Enrique? Say the word! What were you doing?" The man said putting down his book. He still looked good. In fact he looked great for his age. No wonder since he was only 27. And already a father. With a 15 years old kid. Something that is biologically impossible but it actually is. However the story is too painful for him to remember it. In his entire life this was the first time where he didn't face the facts and was trying to lock facts away somewhere into a deep corner of his mind. That was kind of difficult given the fact that Enrique reminded him of all those thing. But as they say, time heals all the wounds and pain, and one has to look at the bright side of things. And Enrique has been giving him a lot of good things. He was his everything.

"I was..." Enrique looked down suddenly realizing that there was a carpet too, and there were some lines on the carpet. And he also could follow these lines with his toe.

"You were... Say it Enrique!"

"I was masturbating! Jacking off! ¡Pajeándome Papá! ¿Está bien?" He was now angry. Why did his dad have to be such a asshole right now? Why exactly now and in this situation? Couldn't he realize how embarrassed he was?

"And why is that so hard to say? Aren't you eating Enrique? Don't you drink and sleep?"

Enrique looked at his father with disbelief. He had him now, as he was completely clueless where this conversation was heading to.

"Enrique, this is a normal thing! Hijo, you're no longer a boy! And I'm glad you found out about what more that specific little friend of yours can do. I am just deeply sorry that you didn't tell me earlier. I mean I could have told you so many things, now you had to find it out all by yourself."

"Well dad, I can't go asking you how to masturbate. I mean, hey, we are like in the 21st century, I can use the net you know, if I want to find out something. Besides... I never thought you..."

"That I am also doing it???" If Enrique hadn't been red enough until then he turned the deepest shade of red now. The man was looking with an understanding smile at his boy.

"Well my boy, I have breaking news for you. I am also just a man, and as you can see, I don't really get laid that often... So I also need some kind of alternative to get rid of this kind of stress and frustration. I mean I guess I don't have to tell you how can it turn you mad if you can't..."

"No dad, you don't!" The spontaneous answer made both of them laugh.

"However there is one thing I would like to ask you. Two actually. The first one is to be free when you are doing it. Don't build up any kind of control! If you feel like screaming or crying, than do it! You need to discover the coordinates of this aspect of your body and soul. And if you should decide to make the big step and make a girl happy, please take care of..."

"I will! Hey don't come up with that! I had that in school and I keep on having it all the time... It is sooo booooring!"

"But useful! Unless you don't want to..." The man just sighed and looked away.

"... be like you. With a messed up life because you have to take care of a kid." Enrique said with the deepest bitterness in his voice. He never stopped wondering why his dad was taking care of him. He always had this guilt, he felt like his dad had to give up his life own life just to raise him. That seemed totally unfair to him.

"Don't you dare saying that again! Did I ever give you reasons to think of me like that? Did I ever blame you of having made me unhappy?"

"Never, but still..." Enrique was struggling whether to say it or not.

"But what?" The father opened his eyes widely.

"Other kids have a... you know...parents... and they... are... I mean..."

"A family..."

"A family."

"I'm sorry for not being able to offer you that."

"No dad, Grandma already told me the story and I understand it completely." Now it was the man's turn to look rather in disbelief at his son.

"She did? And what exactly did she tell you?"

"Well, that basically because of mother we couldn't have a family and that I never should blame you for not having a normal family. Still she never told me any of the reasons WHY you actually live alone and never did go out on a date or stuff like that. She isn't willing to tell me that! NEITHER is she..."

"Enrique, you know I love you, but this is something I don't want to talk with you about. Yet. The time will come and we'll talk about this too, but it's too soon."

"So you are not marrying Roxanne yet..." Enrique sensed the dark clouds gather. If there was something that made his father mad and inaccessible that was the family-topic. Sometimes he felt even more mature than his own father. And why he never had a family and his dad never bothered to offer him one was one of the biggest questions of his young life. But there was always a line, and he did push this line further and further. He could sense his dad getting more and more worried and preoccupied and that was a good sign. It was somehow his young ego, and even his dad was his idol this was something he needed to find out, and there was no price that was to high to pay. For the moment it was quite enough and he let his dad escape again.

"Now Mr. Stroker, do we have some observations or are we having too much spare time to think about thing we weren't supposed to?"

"Daaaaaad!!!" Enrique was trying to argue but his father was up in a blink of an eye and Enrique had to defend himself.

"No you won't! I am not a kid anymore! Dad stop it!" Just like always he was yet too slow for his dad. Enrique wasn't really a jock and he has just recently discovered his passion for sports. Which motivation stood behind this sudden change were of course both ON the field and In the lockers, AND of course well enough guarded under seven seals in his mind. Enrique always ended up getting tickled to death from his father and he was just helpless. He knew he will be eventually begging for mercy and promising to be a good boy. But this time he even had to go further.

"You will clean the garage!"

"No, I am NOT going to clean up that mess!" Enrique protested pointing with his index towards the garage as if it was a place worse than hell.

"Oh you are going to do it! And the best thing is you will do that till 9 o'clock!"

"9 o'clock? But it's already 6!"

"So? You have a problem with that?"

"The hell I have!"

"Well I can understand that perfectly since you are standing here and wasting your time!"

"Whatever!" Enrique just raised both hands into the air and gave up. Once again he was defeated.

Walking out of the house he headed towards the place of his horror. He hated the garage. It was too big and too full of all kinds of garbage. Old books, old clothes, everything they didn't need. The house was huge, it was actually the summer residence of his granny, who didn't like the Paradise. After she remarried with her second husband she went back to New York, that's where life is pulsating she always says. Enrique loved the Paradise and it was not just because of the climate, but also because of his happy life there. His life seemed to be a long vacation, each time he finished his to-dos he could switch into tourist and enjoy all what others paid thousands for. It was perfect.

Lost in his thoughts Enrique begun sorting out the chaos, analyzing each item then putting it into the most suitable box. It was his way of working and his dad made fun of him each time he could. He used to come into his room sit on the bed and look at him cleaning up his room. He always said it is just fabulous how he could turn the chaos into the ultimate chaos and afterwards being still able to find the place of each and every item. This time it was the same, and even if they wanted to, they couldn't park the cars for the night in the garage. `History of the United Kingdom, Hamlet, Cervantes... good to read them, amazing how much did Dad read...Huh? What is this? What an awful language!'

"For the love of my life, Dani. Never forget this weekend we spent here... Should faith decide to tear us apart, remember me each time you look at this castle. This is where I gave you my heart and life. You are my life, the knight of my castle... Love Ch. 26th of June 2003."

`What on Earth is this? Who the hell is Ch? Two years ago? That is when I first moved in here, in June, two years ago. I guess I'd better ask Dad...'

Enrique went on with his work, and somewhere around nine as his dad forcefully had to hunt him out of the garage he remembered he had to ask something.

"Hey dad! Look what I've found! Some flame of yours huh?"

The man took the book in his hand with a grin but suddenly got serious. Too serious. Enrique's smile faded. He never saw so many dark clouds in the same time.

"Ahm Dad, you wanted to eat! Come on, the looser has to do the dishes!" But he was the only one to run, his father remained on the very same place with the book in his hands. He slowly whipped the dust from the book and looked at the castle. Opening the book a very familiar handwriting made him shiver. Two sparkling green eyes were looking at him, a face with sweetest smile, expressing the truest love he ever experienced. The only LOVE he ever experienced. Daniel slowly closed his eyes and smelled the book. Even after two years he could smell the sweet perfume. How long has he been searching for his Bible, how many argues did he have with his mother because of this book, because of this last memory of his great love. As he wasn't to be convinced to say goodbye to this last item of his past as his mother forced him to. `You have responsibilities now Daniel! You can't let your past destroy your son's life! Start acting like an adult for the first time in your life! You can not, you mustn't sacrifice your son because of your stubbornness. Give it up and you'll see that life will give you other satisfaction! Do it for your son if you don't want to do it for me!' And the next day gone was the book, and he understood that there was nothing to do, and now, after two years, two long years where he fought this giant battle with himself it appears!

"No one is going to take it away from me now! This is all I got! I am allowed to have the memory! I can't have HIM but I can have the memory of him! I have a right to have at least the memory of my life... the life I gave up..."

"Dad! Are you coming? It's getting late!"

"And how late... Too late...Way... too... late..." Daniel sighed and a single teardrop rolled down his cheeks.

To be continued?


So how was it? Drop me a mail with your comments, suggestions etc.

Marcos

(tulindobebito@yahoo.es)


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