Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, as are all of the characters. This story is about the conflicts and inner turmoil between two teen boys, one Black and one Latino and how they overcome them. If that bothers you then I suggest you don't read.
Edited by Metis *******************************************************************************
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"Around My Way" High School and Interracial (last updated January 5th) *******************************************************************************
"I HATE ANTHONY"
by Maddy A.
CHAPTER TWO: LUNCH TABLES
Brian sat at the lunch table he shared with his four close's friends. Across from him sat Riley, one of the only few white people who attended their high school. Riley was heavy set with medium length blonde hair that at the moment was streaked with blue. He was into punk rock and fit in as much as Brian did. They had a common bond in musical tastes and Riley was one of the funniest people that he knew. Next to Riley sat Tracy on one side and Jackson, sometimes known as Jacky, on the other. Jacky had to be the one who didn't fit in the most with the group. He was fairly popular and was on the basketball team. Jackson's mother was Italian and his father was Black and you could clearly see both sides of his heritage shown on his face. His skin was extremely light like his mothers, with a slight tan to it and he kept his curly hair closely cropped into a low fade. Most people would naturally assume that he was one hundred percent Italian and that bothered him. He was proud to be half black and he felt that when people would assume that he wasn't mixed, they were denouncing his father. His eyes were coal black and held an intensity that intrigued some and put off others. He stood at just over six feet and was very muscular, but still lean at the same time. His girlfriend Regina sat next to Brian. At first Brian didn't get along with her. He found her obnoxious and at times a little too loud for his liking and he hated her dyed red hair, he thought she looked cheap and the color didn't go with her caramel complexion.
The main reason he didn't like her in the beginning was a reason he wouldn't admit to anyone, he barely admitted it to himself. From the time that he met Jacky in the eighth grade until late last year in the tenth, Brian had the hugest crush on him. No one knew that Brian was into guys and he would have it no other way. He didn't want to be gay and he especially didn't want anyone else to know. His mother would kill him if the people around his neighborhood didn't first. You can't be a black man from the hood and be gay. You just couldn't. Being gay made you less than a man and Brian didn't want to be looked down in that manner. Regina was around Brian's height and thick in the waist, but cute in the face and eventually won over Brian with her charm.
"Oh my god can you believe that Marissa would take Arthur's side instead of Ryan's?" Tracy exclaimed.
"I know what you mean. That just goes to show you that rich people have no sense of loyalty." Brian exclaimed.
"No, what you mean is that white people don't know how to be loyal." Tracy said. Riley looked up from his lunch annoyed by Tracy's racist comment.
"What do you mean white people don't know how to be loyal? HELLO----Irish guy, sitting right here." Riley countered.
"Well Rye's it's true." Tracy said nonchalantly as if it was a fact and not a statement. Brian hated when the two of them went at it. Now he loved Tracy, she had been there for him when he felt like he had no one, but he couldn't stand some of the racist comments she would say from time to time. He knew that Tracy wasn't truly a racist person. She just listened to her father ramble on one to many times on how unfairly he felt white people had treated him. Despite the fact he was a high-ranking officer in the army, he still felt like "The Man" cheated him. Brian hated when people would blame all their problems on white people. True, racism still existed, but he felt that no one's problems should be put on anyone else than that person. This wasn't 1950 when black people didn't have any rights. It was the new millennium and he didn't like that old school way of thinking. His mother always told him, `A man is responsible for his own actions and no other man is.'
"You know what Tracy, shut up and eat your lunch, I can see your ribs through your shirt." Riley said and the table erupted in laughter. Brian tried to stifle his laugh, but he couldn't. Tracy glared at them and got quiet. Every one knew that if Tracy had a sore spot it was regarding her weight. She hated being so thin and didn't like it when people pointed it out. She didn't have an eating disorder, just a high metabolism. She wished she could be thicker like Regina, then maybe she could keep a man. Riley and Brian got into a discussion about the latest albums that they bought.
"You have got to get that new Muse album dude. `Time is running out', it kicks wicked ass!" Riley exclaimed.
"No dude I didn't buy it yet. You gotta let me borrow that. I'm strapped for cash and I don't get paid for another two weeks. I'll let you borrow my Interpol album." Brian stated.
"Which one?" Riley asked.
"Turn on the bright lights."
"Hated it, how about your, Smiths singles album?"
"Done, but you know I was only joking when I'd said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head and by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed, so why don't you throw in your Hawthorne Heights album and we have a deal." Brian said, quietly singing the lyrics to his favorite song.
"Done, and nice usage of the Morrissey song lyrics by the way. But you know, I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar, I am the son and heir of nothing in particular." Riley stated plainly, speaking the words instead of singing them as well, to the signature "The Smiths" song.
"You shut your mouth how can you say, I go about things the wrong way..." Brian responded in the same manner and they both joined in to sing the last part. "I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does..." They both fell back laughing. Everyone at their table looked at them like they were weird, but they were all use to Brian and Riley's odd musical tastes.
Jackson sat in silence, quietly observing Brian. They had been friends since eighth grade, but sometimes he felt that he didn't really know him. Lately he was starting to have weird thoughts about him that left him confused. He loved his girlfriend Regina and was sexually attracted to her, but lately he was starting to think that maybe he was attracted to Brian. No, scratch that, Jackson wasn't into guys. He never looked at guys before, but lately he had been noticing small things about Brian. Like when he would smile, the dimples on both his cheeks would deepen. When he laughed, the corners of his nose crinkled up and his upper lip would curve or how smooth his dark brown skin was, almost like black silk. Jackson was kicking himself for those thoughts. He knew he couldn't be gay. If he were, then he would have been having those thoughts about other guys and probably for a longer time. He only had those thoughts about Brian and it had only been going on for about a month.
"Aye Yo, Dizzy man, you coming over to chill later?" Jackson asked. His voice was thick with that familiar thick gruffness that almost everyone from their city had. Tough when necessary, but with a hint of eloquence. A weird combination that many tried, but rarely mastered, Jacky being one of the exceptions.
"Sure dude, I didn't know we were hanging out today?" Brian said. Jackson had started acting weird around him lately. He couldn't place the vibes that he would read off of him, but they both intrigued and frightened him.
"Oh I thought that we could hang out today, you know just us boys." When Jackson said that Riley looked over at him with curious eyes.
"Well where's my invite?" Riley asked. It wasn't that Jackson didn't like him, in fact he did like him, but he couldn't understand the changes that he made. Two years back, Riley had been one of the most popular kids in school. He was only one of a handful of white kids, but he fit in with just about any group. He had been the freshman class president and first string on the football team. He had one of the prettiest girls in school as his girlfriend and a shit load of friends. Then one day he showed up at school with a punk rock clothes on and his normally long dark blond hair was dyed into this funny green color and cut into a faux hawk. He stopped playing football and hanging out with all the other jocks. He seemed to be depressed a lot of the time, but Jackson didn't feel that they were close enough for him to probe, but he couldn't help but to wonder what made Riley undergo such a radical transformation. Sometimes he would feel awkward around him. He was the only person who had been friends with Riley both before and after his transformation.
"Of course you can come, you don't even need an invite. You guys just meet me at the Gym after school. Coach want to talk to us about something then we could bounce." Jackson said. Brian put his Turkey sandwich down and looked in disbelief at Jackson. All of Brian's friends were more than aware of the hatred that he felt for Anthony.
"Well then I guess I'll just have to meet you at your house because there is no way you are getting me to wait for you at that damn Gym where Big and Tan Asshole can dish out some shit on me." Brian stated. His tone was cold and hard and left little room for argument. Jackson was all too aware of the problems that Anthony and Brian had with each other and he did not understand why there was so much hate between the two of them. Brian was one of the funniest people that he knew and had the biggest heart to go along with his big smile. If you needed something and he had it, he would give it to you. Anthony could be a cocky son of a bitch sometimes, but it all came from a good place. For almost four years Jackson had to endure the battle that waged between Brian and Anthony and sometimes he would be torn as to whose side to take. On one hand he had Brian, his goofy smart ass little friend who could charm the legs off of a paraplegic then on the other hand was his buddy from basketball Anthony, who was equally, if not more charming, confident, and honestly brash. A trait that Jackson sometimes respected and other times loathed.
"Dizzy you don't have to worry about Anthony, just wait up in the bleachers, I'll only be a second." Jackson whined. Brian knew that he would eventually give in because Jacky possessed this annoying characteristic where he could bug the shit out of you until you gave him what he wanted. Brian referred to this as "Only Child Syndrome" or more commonly known to his friends as O.C.S. Brian himself suffered from this occasionally but not as bad as Jackson did.
"Fine whatever but if he gives me shit your going to have to hold me back because I don't want to have to fuck him up!" Brian said sticking out his thin chest to make himself seem bigger. Everyone laughed at Brian's feeble attempt at making a threat against Anthony. They all loved Brian, but Rocky he was not.
"Don't worry dude, if that punk tries to fuck with you, I got your back!" Riley said. Brian playfully punched him in his shoulder as a sign of agreement and they went back to eating. Brian was thinking about skipping Chemistry class and going down to the computer lab but he didn't want to leave his lab partner Lucia alone. Lucia was a short petite Italian girl with long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. Brian didn't want to like her because she was the current girlfriend of the one person in the world he wishes would just disappear. Lucia and Anthony had been dating since the start of the school year and now it was early November. Brian thought that she must have been stuck up and full of herself, just like all the other cheerleaders were but she wasn't. She wasn't dumb and ditzy; in fact if it weren't for her, Brian would probably be failing the Chem. He didn't know what a smart, pretty girl like her would be doing with such an asshole like Anthony.
Speaking of the devil, Anthony came walking into the lunchroom with his two cronies Carlos and Reggie at his heels. Brain tried to avert his eyes, but it was like this force was pulling him to look in Anthony's direction. At the same time, Anthony just happened to be looking at Brian. Their eyes met and Brian quickly turned his away and so did Anthony. Anthony and his friends sat at their usual table, which was far enough from Brian where he could feel comfortable but close enough for the two of them to make eye contact. Anthony would glare at Brian from his table and each time Brian would see him, he turned his eyes away. This was a game that they were both aware that the other played. At Anthony's lunch table, he sat silently listening to Carlos talk about the latest girl he fucked.
"Yo! That bitch is mad crazy! She was all like `what the fuck is wrong with you! I gave you my virginity!', and I'm giving her the bullshit speech of, Tracy sweetheart I love you...but I just need some space." Carlos said, finding humor in what he did to Tracy. Reggie laughed along with Carlos but Anthony sat silenced by his thoughts. His trance was broken by Reggie's voice.
"Damn son, you really can't stand that kid can you?" Reggie asked. Reggie was new to the school that year but he fit in easily with the other players on the basketball team and the fact that his skinny light brown body stood at six foot five helped. He was thin, more like wiry but with the force that he put into his game you would forget that. He played like a professional, whole-heartedly and with his soul. He was a quiet guy and Anthony liked that about him. Carlos would get on his nerves sometimes with the way he would talk about girls and how he treated them but he was Anthony's best friend and he was not about to let him know about the things he was bothered by. He didn't know Tracy all to well but she seemed nice. All he really knew was that she was good friends with Brian. He use to think that they were dating but then she started to date Carlos so that thought quickly faded.
"Huh, what are you talking about?" Anthony asked him. He really had no clue who Reggie was talking about.
"Brian. Your going to kill him with the way that you staring him down." Reggie said and laughed alone at his own corny joke. Anthony hadn't even realized that he was looking at Brian and that wasn't the first time that had happened. On more than one occasion over the years he would find himself just staring intently at him. Sometimes it would just be a quick glance and other times it would be an intense stare. He used to look at him a lot back when they were friends and Brian never seemed to have minded. If he did, he never said anything about it.
"Shit fuck that faggot! I don't know why you ain't whooped his ass yet. That punk need the shit beat out of him!" Carlos said. He didn't have a reason to hate Brian but he just did. He thought that he was weird. He listened to different music than everybody else and sometimes he would dress in those awful rock n' roll T-shirts when he wasn't dressed like some preppy punk from some rich town. Brian wasn't rich, in fact he was lower middle class like most of all the other students at Martin Luther King Jr. High School but that didn't stop him from trying to dress his best. He liked to wear collar T- shirts and Khakis. Sometimes he would slum it with loose jeans and a T- shirt from one of his favorite bands but most of the time he liked to wear his preppy clothes.
"Yeah, I really don't like that guy-." Anthony started to say but was cut off when his girlfriend of two months kissed his cheek and sat next to him.
"Who don't you like?" Lucia asked.
"That faggot ass Brian." Carlos said. Lucia looked at Carlos with heat in her eyes. Brian was a nice guy and he didn't seem gay to her. A little weird with the way he dressed but he was still friendly. She even found him to be funny.
"Shut the fuck up Carlos. Brian's cool as hell." Lucia said. Carlos just rolled his eyes. Anthony looked at her intrigued.
"What do you know about him?" He asked.
"Oh you didn't know he's my lab partner in Chem. I thought I told you." She said. Anthony knew that she probably already did tell him but he most likely was not listening to her like he had a tendency of doing. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in the things that she had to say, it was just sometimes he had a lot of things going on inside of his head and it's was hard to get past the thoughts that ran through it. Anthony remained silent through out lunch but no one questioned him about it. Over the years, Anthony would get into one of his moods and not talk to anyone. Most of the time he was fine but usually during lunch is when one of his moods would come out.
The day flew by and school now had ended. Riley wasn't at his locker so Brian decided to bear it and venture down to the Gym alone. As soon as he walked through the doors, Anthony's face turned to him and glared. Anthony was standing next to Carlos who was trying to talk to one of the cheerleaders so he didn't pay Brian any attention, but Anthony did. He walked over to Brian and started in on him.
"What the fuck you doing here? You trying to join the team?" Anthony laughed at his own joke. There weren't too many people in the gym and Brian silently thanked God for the lack of an audience. He kept his eyes downcast as he responded.
"I am just waiting for Jacky."
"Well Jacky went home sick, I thought he was YOUR FRIEND how come you didn't know that?" Anthony asked, using that patented ass hole tone when he spoke that he perfected so well. Since Jacky had left Brian didn't see any need on sticking around and tried to make his way for the door. Anthony stepped up into Brian's face again. Brian was not in the mood to play their little game and tried to get past him but Anthony grabbed the strap of his book bag which inadvertently sent Brian falling back on to the Gym floor. Anthony looked down at him apologetically. He didn't mean to make him fall he was just trying to stop him from leaving. Brian accidentally bit his lip during the fall and he could feel it slightly swelling and taste faint traces of salt. There was a small amount of blood that was hardly noticeable but to Anthony it seemed like a lot whole lot more. He wanted to apologize but that wasn't his style. He just walked away and watched as Brian pulled himself up and walked out the doors with his head hanging low.
Brian made his way down the street towards his apartment building. His neighborhood was rough and you had to be strong to survive it. Sometimes he felt that he wouldn't. The occasionally past out drunk or drug addict lie in the alleyways that lined his block. Once in the safety of his room, he looked at himself in the mirror. His lip was swelling, but it wasn't very noticeable. He wondered why he had to be so weak. `Why did he push me?' Brian asked himself. In all the years that they had hated each other, Anthony had only put his hands on him that one time. He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but Brian found himself digging in his closet for an old tattered shoebox. He found it and tears threatened to fall. He opened it and the first thing that he saw was a picture of him and Anthony when they were eleven. It was taken the summer before they were to start sixth grade. It was the last summer that they had been friends. Brian had his arm stretched up to meet the taller shoulders of Anthony. Brian was facing the camera, but Anthony was looking down at him. Their arms over the other's shoulders. Beside the picture was a plastic rubber beetle that Anthony had gotten out of a gumball machine. He told Brian that since he already called him Beetle he thought that he would give him one, that way when Anthony wasn't around, Brian would always have his "beetle" near him. Brian closed the box and put it back in the far end of the closet. He pushed down the urge to cry and tried to remember that the love he use to feel for Anthony was gone. It was just sometimes it didn't always feel that way.
Down the street, in a different apartment building, Anthony was going through his own box of memories. There were a lot of pictures of him and Brian in there, but he didn't need to look at them to remember the happy times that they showed. He looked at them almost daily over the years and the photos along with the memories that they held were imbedded in his mind. He sighed to himself as he closed the box and put it back in its hiding place. He asked himself why he had to feel the way that he did and he asked himself why did it have to be about the one person that it shouldn't have been. His head was filled with confusion and his heart filled with regret. He closed his eyes to get some much-needed rest. Basketball training was hard and he wondered if it was really all worth it. Those familiar eyes that made his heart flutter filled his vision right before sleep over took him....
Copyright 2005
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