?I Had No Idea? - Part 40 BY - BNDMaster13@yahoo.com
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Yes, I know, I know, it has been way to long since I have posted anything from Alex's journal. But it just seems sometimes that life gets busier and busier. I also know that we have faithful readers out there that miss hearing what is happening in our lives. So I will work harder on posting more often. At least I will try! Summers tend to be less hectic, however, don't count on that.
I want to begin this entry by commenting on something that Robert mentioned in his post regarding Matt. He said that he and I have different ideas on the care and training of slaves. Yes, he is correct. Let me see if I can explain. Robert believes that once the initial training period is over a slave should be allowed to have more freedom. He is willing to treat his slave more like a person than like a slave all the time. I totally disagree! To me a slave is just that, a slave, my slave. He belongs to me body and soul. He has no rights, no choice, no say in anything I do with him. Robert allows Matt to own clothes. And not just old clothes but new fashionable clothes. Robert says he likes his slave to look like a kept boy. I once again disagree. Alex and Jose own nothing. I have exactly two sets of clothes that I allow them to wear. They each have one for school. Simple jeans, shirt and shoes. They also have one good outfit. Dress pants, shirts and shoes. They each have one coat and that is it. They have no socks, no underwear, no belt, nothing. What in heavens name does a slave need with anything else? What do I care if people notice that they wear the exact same thing to school every single day? So what, they belong to me and all it does is re-emphasis to them that they are my property. Robert says that Matt belongs to him so he wants him to look good. Matt's appearance reflects on him. I can see his point but, again in my opinion, a slave is a slave. I would rather have people think how mean I am if it helps drive home to my boys that they are mine. That they belong to me and I will use them as I see fit.
Now that I have vented, let me add, I really like Robert and he is exactly the master Matt needed. I am not sure if my brand of slave rearing would have worked with Matt over the long run. It works great for Alex and Jose but Matt is a totally different person. I have found people over the years that have an even harder way than I do and I have not always agreed with them. As I say, each to there own, whatever works for you and your slave.
So now I guess it is time to turn this over to my Alex. I have debated what to post but I think I will go back a few months and pull out this one. It goes along well with the points on slave training that I have just talked about. Just before Spring break I had started noticing that Alex was getting just a little cocky. Being busy at school with the slight freedom it gave him had, in my opinion, gone to his head. He seemed more concerned with his school work than serving me. So I decided to take the time over Spring break to bring him back to reality. I hope you all enjoy it:
As the tears rolled down my cheeks I hated myself for making Master Rick upset with me. Oh, don't get me wrong I hated just as much what he was doing to me, but what hurt me so deeply was the fact that my bad behavior had displeased him. Every ache of my body simply reminded me of the fact that I was his slave and had gotten myself sidetracked from that fact. I adjusted my sore body as best I could in the confines of the cage, I had been locked in now for over a week. It was so small I could hardly move, let alone find any relief for my cramped muscles and the bars on the bottom seemed to have made permanent grooves in my body. I stared through the cage bars at the tiny crack of light coming from under the garage door and wished that Master Rick would come and release me. The tears continued to stream from my eyes, because I knew it wasn't going to happen. He had told me at the outset he would not come and let me out until the day before school started again. Master Rick had been true to his word. In the last week the only person I had seen was Jose. He came out 3 times a day and let me out just long enough to stretch out my cramped muscles. Then he would unlock and remove the enormous butt plug that was kept locked in my ass and I would be allowed to go to the bathroom. If that was what you called it. All he did was set a bucket on the floor that I was forced to squat over. However, I had been ordered NOT to mess the cage so I was thankful for the bucket three times a day. Then he would place a food dish on the floor, I would eat the disgusting slop Master Rick was making me eat, then he would lock me back in the cage. Of course never once were my hands released from behind my back. God, I wanted this to be over so bad! What I really wanted was to have never messed up so Master Rick would need to punish me. Let me go back and start at the beginning and tell you how I got myself in this mess.
It all started when I had been required in one of my classes to take a study partner. I really didn't want to do this, as I knew how hard it would be to find the time to make it work. But as I had no choice, Master Rick gave me permission. We would meet every night for a week at the campus library. Master Rick gave me a curfew and I was required to be home, naked, kneeling next to his chair before it was up. The first two nights went fine. What was so awesome was that I was actually getting to talk to someone! It had been so long since I had said anything to a fellow student other than, "My Master will not allow me to talk to anyone," it felt like heaven. Unfortunately, I guess, it went to my head just a bit. Because on the third night I was so deep in conversation with my study partner that I lost total track of time. When I finally looked at a clock I almost crapped myself. It was over an hour past my curfew!
Needless, to say I flew home as fast as I could. I ran through the door and straight out to the playroom. Master Rick was watching TV and Jose was kneeling at his side. I started to blurt out how sorry I was for being late and disobeying him, but before I could his eyes hit me. The look on his face scared me so badly. His face was just a sheet of displeasure. Then the words came out of his mouth and I realized I had screwed up again in my haste to get home and apologize. "How dare you slave! Not only are you late but you have the audacity to not strip at the door! How long have you been my slave? How long has that been one of my standing rules? Not only that, but why are your hands free? You know the first thing you always do after stripping is lock your hands behind your back where they belong. Get your sorry ass back in the living room and once you are naked as a slave should be you may return here and I might allow you to try and excuse yourself for being late."
Oh my God! How could I have done that? Master Rick was right I was standing there with all my clothes on and I had failed to go immediately get the lock and lock my hands behind me. I ran back into the living room and stripped as fast as I could. As I folded my clothes and placed them in the closet I prayed that Master Rick would forgive me.
I reentered the playroom and went immediately to the toy shelves. I locked my wrist cuffs behind my back then went and kneeled at his side. I spread my knees apart and bowed my head like I had been trained. I sat there staring at the floor waiting to see what would happen to me.
Master Rick, let me sit there for quite awhile and castigate myself as I wondered what he would do. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I heard his stern voice, "slave, why were you late?" No emotion to it, just a simple question.
I quickly answered, "Master, Sir, this slave lost track of time, Sir!" I kept my head down boring a hole in the floor between my knees with my eyes. I wished I could have opened a whole and just fall into it, right then and there.
"slave, I will give you one more chance to answer me. I lost track of time is NOT good enough! I want to know why and how you lost track of time. When your Master gives you a direct command to be home at a given time, just how can you, as my slave, loose track of time?"
I proceeded to tell him the whole story. How I had been enjoying getting to talk to someone so much that I had forgotten to watch the clock. I wondered what he was thinking as I told him this. "slave, I can understand how that could happen. But that does not excuse the fact that you were late, or the fact that your dared to enter this house without removing your clothes. There is never an excuse for failing to obey me! You will be punished for this. I am going to have to think about just what it will be, but you will be punished. You have made me very unhappy! You put something you were enjoying ahead of me, your Master." Master Rick let it drop there, leaving me wondering what my fate would be.
Now, let me add to this, because I still had two more study days I had to go to. The next night everything went well. I was home on time just like I was supposed to be. However, the last night, while hurrying home, because I stayed a little longer than I should have, I dropped by backpack. Books and papers scattered everywhere. It took me forever to get them all picked up. I realized that I was going to be late again. I started off running, but despite my best efforts I was late. By the time I had gotten in the door, stripped, put my clothes away, and gotten out to the playroom I was 15 minutes past my curfew! Oh God I knew I was dead!
Master Rick allowed me to explain, but all he said was that there was no excuse. I should have left earlier. He said I knew how long it took to get home and if I hadn't been in such a hurry I would not have dropped my backpack. He informed me that with two major screw ups in one week it would take him some time to decide what my punishment would be. The next morning, as I knelt over my dish eating breakfast, he informed me he had decided on my punishment. I wanted to know what it was going to so badly. I was scared half to death. But he told me that it was going to wait until Spring break which was a week away. In the mean time life would go on as normal. At least as normal as living in our house can be.
The last day of school arrived and I was really sweating what Master Rick had planned for me. I still had no idea what it was. I did know though that he had purchased something and spent sometime in the garage putting it together. When I got home that day I did everything perfectly. When Master Rick arrived I was kneeling naked in the middle of the floor, my hands cuffed behind me waiting for his arrival.
He ignored me for awhile as he settled himself in. Finally he walked out to where I was waiting, with a beer in his hand. I kept my head down awaiting what was to come. "Alex," he began, "you know what today is. I have held back your punishment for fucking up until now. Today begins Spring break and you will suffer the entire time. By the time we go back to school you will remember who and what you are. Your are My slave, period. You have no life except serving me. What privileges I grant you are only so that you can function as my slave. For the next nine days all privileges of any kind will be taken away from you. It is that simple. Get up and follow me, now!"
Master Rick walked toward the door into the garage and I struggled up off the floor as fast as I could to follow him. He opened the door and motioned for me to enter. As he flipped on the light switch I saw, sitting in the middle of the floor, a metal cage. I knew immediately that he intended to lock me up in it. It looked so small sitting there that I really wondered if I would even fit. I found out shortly that yes I would fit, not comfortably, but I would fit. Master Rick pointed to the cage and said, "That will be your home until the day before school starts. I am going to keep you locked in there all by yourself until then. Jose will come out three times a day and let you out just long enough to stretch your muscles, pee or shit, and eat then he will lock you back inside. I will not come see you, in fact once I walk out of this room you will not see me again until I release you on that final day. I want you to realize just what a privilege it is to have me as your Master. I want you to remember that without me you have nothing and are nothing. Your only worth is being my slave. I want you to long for my touch, long to hear my voice and know that you cannot have it. I want you to learn to appreciate what I give you and I will do that by taking everything away from you. I know this will be hard on you Alex, but I will never have you put yourself and your desires ahead of me again. Now let's get you ready, shall we?"
I could tell by Master Rick's face that he was very serious. My heart jumped. How could I ever take being locked up that long? But even more how could I go that long without seeing the Master that I loved so much? But he was right, I had screwed up. Maybe I had taken him for granted. Yes, he was right! I deserved whatever he decided to give me. I had failed to obey my Master, there was no excuse.
I meekly followed him over to the cage. Laid out on it were several things that I assumed I would be wearing while locked up. Master Rick started with a large butt plug which he shoved up my ass. This he secured in place with a harness. Next came a full mouth gag. It was shaped like a penis with a small tube hanging out of the end. I knew from experience what it was for. Master Rick would no doubt place a water dish near the cage. By placing the tube in the water and sucking on the cock I would be able to drink. It still fails to amaze me at that feeling. Having a rubber cock wedged in your mouth and sucking hard on it and feeling water shoot out. It feels just like the rubber cock is cumming in your mouth. Whenever Master Rick forces me to wear it my mind centers on what a slaves' mouth is for. For once Master Rick did not use his trusty padlocks to secure the gag or the harness in place. Only my wrists were secured behind me with padlocks. I realized why. If Jose was going to be taking care of me then he wouldn't need keys to remove the gag or the harness. The only other thing I was wearing was of course my cock cage locked on as usual.
Master Rick opened the cage door and made me crawl inside. It was as cramped as I thought it would be. I was forced to curl into a slight ball for him to be able to shut the door. The bars on the bottom pressed into me and I knew that it was going to a very miserable Spring break. But this was what I deserved. Master Rick was right I needed to be taught my place. He walked to the door and turned off the light switch. As he did he said, "slave I will miss you. I hope you are happy, this hurts me as much as it hurts you."
His voice sounded so sad I wanted to cry. With those words ringing in my ears Master Rick walked out of the garage closing the door behind him. Tears immediate welled up in my eyes. I think I have cried on and off ever since. How could I have screwed up and hurt my Master? How could I have forced him to need to punish me this way? I felt so worthless. I had such a wonderful Master and at that moment I didn't feel like I deserved him.
That brings us back to the present. I have endured this cage for a week now. I have suffered all alone, but I have learned one valuable thing. I have the most wonderful Master in the world! I will never take him for granted. I lay here longing for his touch. I long for the stroke of his hands on my body, for a kiss from his incredible lips. I long to be allowed to suffer pain at his hands. Anything just to be near him. To know that I am making him happy.
I hear a sound at the door. For just a second I hope it is Master Rick, but no, it is only Jose carrying my food dish. I want Master Rick so badly and yet I know I have to wait until my punishment is over. I will never allow myself to screw up so I loose the only thing that really matters to me in this world, My beloved Master.
Let me stop Alex there. First the cage is not that small! Alex is just a whinny baby sometimes. It is a normal size cage. Plenty big enough to keep a slave locked in. But then can I really say that? I wasn't the one locked in it all that time. I still use the cage quite a bit and to be honest Alex sort of likes the cage now. He is such a bondage pig that I think he gets off on being that confined. I have taken to having one boy in bed with me at night and the other locked in the cage. I wish I had bought one a long time ago. It is a real turn on to see a slave wedged into it just waiting for me to let him out.
Do I feel Alex learned his lesson, YES. He actually begged me to not send him back to school. He was so scared of messing up again. He begged me to go back to keeping him bound 24/7. I told him no. He needed to learn how to be my slave and function at school. To see him now is incredible. He walks around head down not even wanting to look up at anyone. I know the line I will hear, how can you be so cruel to Alex? You know what, it was a lot harder on me not having Alex over Spring break that it was on him locked in the cage. I MISSED HIM! I MISSED TORURING HIM! I MISSED HIS INCREDIBLE HOT MOUTH AND ASS!
As always drop a line and let me know what you think. I am always looking for new ideas to try out on my boys. Yes, I will work harder at posting more often, I really will. BNDMaster13@yahoo.com