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I cannot be gay
Last chapter: Deano and Jonathan were awkward around eachother after they had kissed the night before. Both of them felt the spark, something they didn't expect as they only kissed practising for their dates at the dance the following evening. At the dance, both boys decided to avoid eachother, and then Deano saw Jonathan with his date, he ran out of the school hall, and ended up at the ditch behind the tennis court where he and Brandon, his friend who died two years previously, always hung out. There he unexpectantly met Red Donovan, a handsome fifteen year old boy whom asked him straight out why he wasn't with his date at the dance, instead of wandering around outside. Deano told the stranger that he couldn't stop thinking about kissing his best friend, to which Red replied that he was in the exact same situation years ago, and pushed Deano to tell Jonathan how he felt. Jonathan later on that night decided to leave the party, and Deano left his date to run after him. Both of them confessed that they couldn't stop thinking of the other, and they were shit scared that they were "turning gay". Deano eventually allowed Jonathan to take hold of his hand and together the two best friends shared a loving hug. But what they didn't know, was that someone was watching them...*
Chapter 3
"God...I know I don't speak to You often enough, and maybe that's why I'm being punished like this. But I really, really need Your help right now. I was told and read in the Bible that it's a sin to be...well...to be gay. God, I have these feelings for Jonathan that I don't know why. All I know is I wanna be with him, so bad. Please, God...give me sign, give me something to tell me everything is gonna be fine. I don't wanna lose my best friend but I don't wanna make You mad either..."
Deano opened his eyes and stared at the blank TV screen in the living room. The main lights were off with only the fish tank giving any sort of light. He heard someone coming down the stairs. It was Jonathan, who as usual decided to sleep over. The latter made his made down the stairs and stood in front of Deano. A few seconds past with Jonathan awkwardly standing before him.
"You can sit down, you know," Deano said sarcastically.
"I know, you moron."
It was silent between the two best friends after Jonathan sat down. A little too silent for two fifteen year old boys.
"What are we gonna do about this?" Jonathan asked, sighing as he spoke, with his hands on his lap.
"I dunno, pal. I really don't know. Wish I knew. Fuck, I can't be gay."
"Do you think I wanna feel like this? I hate myself for it!"
"You hate yourself for feeling something for me?"
Both Deano and Jonathan stared into eachother's eyes and like one man they both spluttered out in sheer laughter. Suddenly the situation was crap funny to both of them. Deano almost fell off the couch, he was laughing to hard, while Jonathan was doing his best to keep his voice down, afraid to wake Deano's parents. Jonathan grabbed Deano just as he was about to slip off the couch. That was the trigger. Both boys immediately cut their laughter short, while their youthful eyes portrayed confusion and fright.
Jonathan pulled Deano over towards him, while he himself layed back onto the couch. Deano allowed himself to be pulled along, before he rested his head on Jonathan's shoulder. It was certainly a very intimate gesture from the latter and it was a good way to break the ice. Jonathan's arms went protectively over Deano's body while his hands were caressing his best friend's back. Deano sighed out loud at the feelings he was experiencing, not even to mention that he was rock hard in his trousers. Infact, he couldn't think of a time where he was more solid than he was at that moment and time. Together the two friends sat on the couch, each wondering what the other was thinking of.
"This is nice," Jonathan carefully whispered.
"Yeah, it is."
"Are you comfortable, dude?"
"Oh yeah, Jono. This feels great."
Silence.
"This is wrong, Deano. So wrong. We shouldn't be doing this," said Jonathan, with a hint of emotion in his strong voice. He wasn't stopping the caressing of Deano's back.
"Well if it is, lets just give it a few more minutes," Deano replied. Jonathan's response was to pull Deano tighter to him. Deano made the matter even more when he reached over Jonathan's body and held him aswell. Jonathan would never know why he did it. It just felt so right. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss onto Deano's head. Deano's eyes went as wide as the Kalahari desert and looked up questioningly at Jonathan. The smile from his best friend told him that everything was gonna be okay. Deano hesitated, and finally he reached his head upwards so it was level with Jonathan's. The latter senced what Deano's plan was.
"Dude, you really don't have to do this..."
"Shut up before I lose my nerve..."
Deano leaned forward and softly placed his lips on Jonathan's, who moaned in appreciation. Deano cupped Jonathan's face and continued the kiss. Both boys were rock hard inside their trousers. Jonathan smiled within the kiss and kissed Deano's forehead.
"I love you, dude..." he whispered when Deano released the kiss.
"God please forgive me, I love you too," Deano choked out as his voice didn't wanna give him the volume he wanted. Both boys felt the tears running down their cheeks. Deano threw himself at Jonathan with typical teenage enthusiasm. They held eachother like they were never letting go.
In the weeks that followed all the events that created an even stronger bond between Jonathan and Deano, things went pretty much back to normal. They still checked out girls with their friends, like always. Both of them trusted the other completely. Fact was, that both boys were not atrracted by other boys AT ALL! But when it came to eachother, they both gained a warm feeling in their hearts. That fact helped a little when it came to being labelled as "gay", which they both were terrified of. It wasn't until a couple of weeks later since their love declaration that things started to turn sour.
"Did you guys get a look of the new guy? Apparantly he has all the girls wrapped up in his little fingers already," said Witzel, one of their mutual friends at break time one day.
"Nah, haven't seen him. What's he like? Hope he isn't one of thse spoilt rich boys, we have enough of them around here," Jayden replied.
"I haven't either but I've heard the girls talking about him. Haven't been here a day and he's already the best thing since Big Mac's," Deano laughed.
"He has a weird name though, dudes. Can you imagine having a name like "Red"? I'll sue my fucking parents!"
A slight alarm bell went off in Deano's mind. Red...? OH FUCK...it couldn't be! Not the same guy from the ditch! The one whom he told everyting regarding kissing Jonathan to!! JEEZ...
"Haha, I can get used to be calling "Blue" but not fucking red!" Jonathan said before taking a sip of his Coke.
After the break, Deano entered Pcysics class. It was the only class which he didn't share with Jonathan. Before the break ended, both boys made excuses to Jayden and Witzel, saying that they had to piss like racehorces. When they entered the bathroom, they entered one of the stalls, and locked it. Deano pushed Jonathan against the cubicle and kissed the crap out of him. Jonathan replied with grinding his crotch against Deano's whom had to stop himself cumming in his pants.
"God, I want you so bad..." Deano whispered.
"Soon pal, soon we'll be at home where I can show you how much I love you," Jonathan said, looking down lovingly at Deano.
"See you after Pcysics, okay? I'll miss you, dude." With one final kiss Deano sneaked out of the bathroom with Jonathan following a minute or so after. Once Deano was settled in the class and started to take out his books from his backpack, the door opened once more. Deano didn't look up as he was trying to get his books out of his bag, and so when he did, his heart almost stopped.
"Well class, we have a new student. Red Donavan. Welcome, I hope you being here with us...uhm...Deano? Where's Richard today?"
"Uhm...he's ill, Mrs Palmer..."
"Oh, I see...well until he gets back, I guess you can sit next to Deano. Okay class, turn to page 15 where we left off yesterday and..."
Deano didn't even try and listen to what Mrs Palmer was saying. All he saw was this beautiful teen boy making his way towards him. And the fact that this boy knew one of his deepest secrets.
"Hey...don't I know you from somewhere?" Red asked after he sat down.
"Uhm...yeah we met when the dance was on on Saturday evening at the ditch behind the tennis courts."
WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?? he blasted himself.
"Oh yeah...its Damian, right?"
"Deano."
"Oh right, yes Deano. Great to see you again, man. So, how's this class usually? Boring or not?"
"Uhm...Mrs Palmer is a pretty awesome teacher."
"Are you afraid of talking to me, Deano?" Red asked.
"Why...why would I be afraid?" Deano countered.
"Oh please dude, if you think I'm gonna rat you out for what you told me that evening, you can relax. I'm gay myself. Feel better now?"
"How the hell do you remember what I told you? It was fucking weeks ago?" Deano asked amazed.
"I always remember a hot guy when I see one."
Deano wasn't really sure how to respond to that. He wasn't really gay in the full sence of the word. Other guys didn't make his cock hard so to speak. It was always Jonathan who made his heart jump everytime he layed eyes on him.
"Hey Deano, how about we get something to drink after school? Last time we spoke we didn't really get to know eachother that well," Red asked.
"Sorry man, I can't. I'm...kinda in a relationship now with that guy I told you about."
"You're kidding! Damn, I'm stoked that everything worked out for you guys. Im sad though, thought me and you would have been magical in bed together."
"Red, please dude...I'm not used to this, please stop."
"Deano! PAY ATTENTION!" Mrs Palmer yelled from the front of the class, and that was that for the conversation.
"So you met the new guy? Is he really all that?" Jonathan asked as they walked home after school.
"He seems alright, but NOTHING compared to you," Deano tried to avert the topic.
"Now I know why I love you so much, pal! Damn, its so unfair that I can't even hold your fucking hand right now."
"Well you can, but we're gonna get shit if you do that. Jono, I feel the same, but don't make it worse than in already is, okay?"
As they entered the house and closed the door, both boys immediately threw themselves at eachother, feeling eachother's bodies, feeling the warmth, enjoying the scent of the other, feeling eachother's heart beating rapidly inside their chests.
"Still can't believe we're doing all this..." Jonathan whispered as he held the smaller Deano close.
"Well believe it, because I'm right here, and I ain't going anywhere," Deano replied before launching himself at Jonathan, kissing him passionately. If he was gay, then so be it. He loved Jonathan. End of story.
"Why are you acting this way? Was it such a shock to see him again after all these years?"
"You don't understand, Mom! He didn't even recognise me. Not even a little. He's got a fucking boyfriend now, but back in the day he was all Mr Straight, that's why I never told him! Its NOT FAIR!"
"Calm down, please before your dad gets here. You know how he feels with this whole homosexual thing."
"How many times must I say I'm sorry! Jeez mom! Isn't everything being taken away from me enough punishment?"
"It was YOU who brought this over our family, you ungrateful little brat! Thirteen years of age and you couldn't keep your dick to yourself!"
"Wow Mom...and all these years you told me that you didn't blame me for what happened."
"A person can also handle and withstand SO much before they snap, Son! Go to your room, I need some space."
"Why don't I just go back to my old life so those fuckers can kill me, then all your problems will be a thing of the past. Just think how happy Dad will be knowing his GAY son is dead"
And with that, Red Donovan walked out of the kitchen and up to his room. As he entered, he bent down before his bed, and reached far underneath. There was a big red box with all sorts of books and trinckets inside. He finally found what he was looking for.
A photo showing two boys with their hands around eachother at the beach. Red carefully ran his finger over the one boy. They looked so happy together. He reached back inside the box and took hold of an old Christmas card. Inside was written:
"To my bestest friend in the whole world! From Deano"
Red closed his eyes. His right hand closed into a fist.
"I have never forgotten you, Deano. You're mine. You were my friend first, before that bastard came and ruined everything. This ain't over. Not by a long shot. I'm gonna get you back, like it once was. You are MINE. I'm gonna make Jonathan Riley PAY so bad he will wish he was never fucking born. Then we'll be together again..."
END OF THE THIRD CHAPTER!!! Please mail me if you enjoyed the story!! Send me an e-mail at whiteryan65@gmail.com I always make sure that I reply to each and every one I get!
Ryan White