Hybrid Theory Chapter 5
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Chapter Five
To Be Determined
As soon as our two-hour break in classes began, we jumped in Ravan's CX-5 and went over to my house only to find nobody there and most of my clothes and stuff scattered in the driveway and front yard. Ravan opened his hatch, and we collected everything, stuffing the little SUV to capacity. I couldn't tell which was worse, my anger level, my depression, or my concern for my mother. I texted mom's phone again, and there was a message saying the line had been disconnected. I went through my contacts and found the only family member I had saved in the phone -- my Uncle Mark, mom's brother. I called him and got voicemail. I left a message telling him if he heard from mother to have her call me. Since I haven't talked to him in about a month, I knew this call would send up red flags - that was kind of the idea. I was dead silent as Ravan pulled into the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru and ordered us two #1 combos. I didn't feel much like eating with my entire docket of assets riding in the back of his car. We didn't even make it back to campus before my phone rang.
"What's going on?" Mark said, skipping greetings.
"Have you heard from her?" I asked, ignoring his question.
"No, not yet. What's going on?" he asked again.
"There was a fight, I was told they are a childless couple, I'm with my best friend in his car filled with my whole life we just picked up off the lawn" I said, the crying starting again with the last part.
"Oh, fuck. You told them, didn't you?" Uncle Mark asked, he was the only one I'd ever come out to.
"Not exactly...but they found out" I said between sobs, "Dad's taken her somewhere. The house was empty."
"I'll snoop around, if mom and dad have heard from her, I'll let you know" he said, then a pause, "Kreg, like I told you when we first talked about it, straight or gay you're still MY family always." I sniffed hard and didn't try to talk for a second.
"Thanks, Mark. Please help me find them. I'm afraid he might hurt mom" I said.
"I'm on it, don't worry" he said, and we hung up.
"Who's Mark" Ravan said a little jealously.
"My uncle -- mom's youngest brother. He's only about 3 years older than me" I told him.
"So, he knew you were gay?" Ravan asked.
"We were always close growing up. He was like the big brother I never had. He told me about a year ago that he thought I was like him" I explained, "I didn't really know what he meant when he said it, we're alike in a lot of ways other than that."
"He's gay too? Does your mom know that?" Ravan asked.
"If she did, she's in denial" I told him, "But the way dad didn't like him and didn't want me to hang out with him was what made me figure out he was gay."
"Dude, your old man is...." Ravan said, shaking his head as if at a loss for words.
"Did you and him ever do anything?" Ravan asked, kind of sheepishly.
"What? No!" I said, but to be honest, I'd thought about it, "But if he'd made a move, I'm not sure I wouldn't have." Ravan gave me a look.
"When you see him, you'll understand" I said, siffling and giving him the faintest of smiles.
"You incestuous, horny little bastard" Rav joked, trying to elevate my mood. I finally opened the envelope and took a bite of my sandwich. When we got to campus, I ditched the leftovers in a trash can and added the meal to my mental tab of what I owed Rav so far. We made it through the rest of our classes though my mind was everywhere else besides on schoolwork. I met back up with Ravan at the end of the day and we made our way back to his nice, upper middle-class neighborhood. His dad hadn't gotten home yet but his mom came out to see what we were doing as we carried armloads of my stuff up to his garage apartment. Ravan stopped to tell her what happened. I heard her angry and concerned voice all the way up the stairs. I started to worry that I was overstepping my bounds and might get kicked out, after all, we were bringing every shred of clothing and other stuff that I owned into her son's room. Ravan came in with another armload and threw it on the bed.
"I guess I need to find a place to live" I said, halfway questioning him. I stood there with my ears back and my tail between my legs.
"Why do you say that?" he asked.
"Your mom sounded like she wasn't too happy that we were moving all this stuff up here" I told him.
"Oh no, it's not that. She was shocked and pissed that -- and I quote: "a mother would allow her child's shit to be thrown out on the lawn" -- her words, not mine" Ravan said, "Haven't seen my mom that pissed since me and Daniel broke her grandmother's vase."
"My folks aren't going to kick you out on the curb. You can stop worrying about that" he told me. Still, I felt like I was taking advantage of their hospitality. A car door slammed, and Ravan went outside. I just laid back on the bed, my brain still going 1,000 miles per hour. My phone rang, I expected it to be Mark with some news, but it was an unknown number. I started not to answer it but then thought it could be mom.
"Hello" I said.
"Mr. Silnorra?" the voice says.
"Uh...Yes, this is Kreg Silnorra" I answer.
"Hi, I'm Evan Winston from the university bookstore..." the man says.
"Oh, hello" I say awkwardly, sitting up straight out of habit.
"Well, I just wanted to ask if you're still interested in the job, sorry it took this long to get back to you" he said.
"Absolutely! I really need it!" I told him.
"Come by tomorrow with your class schedule and well get you set up, then" he said, "and welcome aboard!"
"I'll be there first thing in the morning, sir" I told him, we said our goodbyes and ended the call. Outside I heard more heated conversation from the driveway and decided to go down since it was probably about me anyway. By the time my foot hit the landing, Mr. Vargella -- Kris -- came over and wrapped me in an unexpected bear-hug or husky-hug.
"Uhhh?..." I let out, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Ravan told me what happened. You can stay as long as you want to. Consider yourself our third son" Kris said.
"Potential son-in-law" Ravan said. I shook my head, not sure what to say. My phone rang again, Mark's name popped up and I went back up the steps as I hit the button, to talk in private.
"Hey buddy, they're in a hotel somewhere in West Virginia. That's as much as she would tell me," he said.
"Wh..." I started, then it hit me. "He's headed for the Vanterran embassy in Washington. He's taking her to Vanterra."
"What? No! He can't do that. Can he?" Mark said.
"I don't think wives have a lot of say in Vanterran culture" I told him. I felt more helpless that I ever had. There was no way I could afford to get to West Virginia, and even if I could, who knows where they are?
"Goddam it! Fuck!" Mark screamed on the other end of the phone. Rav and Kris walked in just in time to hear the last part which was loud enough to hear without the phone on speaker mode. They looked at me and I put up a hand, letting them know to wait until I finished the conversation. Mark said he was going to try to figure something out and he'd call me later. I hit the End button and laid back on the bed a minute, then sat back up and told them what I'd learned. Kris looked worried.
"If he petitions the embassy, they'll be under Vanterran protection and likely on the first ship out" Kris said. My stomach lurched...again.
"Would it matter if mom refuses to go?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.
"She has no choice in the matter under Vanterran law" Kris said, "We are far behind Earth in some ways."
My tail was tucked so tight it was poking out between my legs and my ears were laid back, everything was blurry from my dilated eyes, and I was shaking. I may never see my mother again. Ravan was feeding on my energy, and his tail was tucked as well. He sat beside me and wrapped a furry gray arm around me and pulled my head down to his shoulder. Once again, I was crying on his shoulder, it was getting to be a far too common thing between us. Kris was in deep thought; he turned around and left the room. Rav's mom texted from the house and told him dinner was going to be ready soon. I told him to go ahead. The thought of eating turned my stomach right now. Ravan let her know we weren't coming down. He wasn't leaving my side. We lay on the bed with him just holding me until Danny came in with a tray.
"Mom insisted that I bring you guys something" he said, clearly uncomfortable. "Are you okay?...uh...I mean...I can't imagine..." I closed my eyes to keep the tears from starting again. Danny came and sat on my left side and put his arm around me too. I was sandwiched in a ball of gray fluff. "No homo" Danny said as he hugged me. Despite all that was going on, I could help but let out a stifled laugh at that.
I woke up very disoriented. I was still surrounded in gray fur -- apparently Danny stayed with us all night. Rav was on one side and Danny on the other. Danny's head was tilted back, his mouth wide open, and the sound of a chainsaw coming out of him. I looked to my other side and found Ravan awake and staring at me. When he saw I was awake he moved in to kiss me.
"This is homo" he whispered, winking. I didn't blush this time, I went after him with a kiss of my own. Behind me the snoring had stopped. Danny yawned, then noticed us. He jumped off the bed and said, "Okay...too much...I'm out!!" and exited back to the main house. I glanced at the clock, it was only 6:30.
"Can he even get in the house?" I asked. Ravan shook his head no about the same time Danny came back in.
"Mom and dad aren't up yet" he aaid, "But could you guys save that stuff for private times?"
"It was private before you woke up, we didn't wake you up" Ravan said. Danny gave him a look as he climbed back on the bed.
"Our skills are transferrable, by the way, if you watch us, you might learn something" I chimed in. Danny looked skeptical to say the least.
"I doubt Melanie would want anything put where you guys put it" he said.
"You might be surprised" I kidded. He made a scoffing noise, but from the look on his face he was thinking about it.
Danny turned some show on the TV. Me and Rav weren't really watching it. I was kind of just spaced out resting with his arm around me, enjoying the light musky scent coming off him. He was rubbing my arm, and I had to pull the covers back over my crotch to censor the results from Danny. My phone notified me I had a new text message. It was from a blocked number. I clicked on it to see what it was, expecting some spam message.
Kreg, your dad and I are leaving for Vanterra tonight. I'm not being kidnapped. Will explain later.
I reread the message. I guess she's made her choice, and I came out on the bottom. It's because I'm flawed; a filthy tail-raiser -- parak'ta just like dad said. All of a sudden, Ravan's caresses felt vulgar and filthy, I pushed him away. Any sign of arousal I had was gone. Rav just sat there with a confused look. I handed him my phone.
"I'm so sorry" he said and tried to pull me into his arms. All I could think about was my dad talking about people who...people like us. I'm losing my family because of my being fucked up and defective. Now, I would be alone, and it was my fault. A second notification bell. Ravan handed me the phone back. This one was from Uncle Mark.
Mark: Did she text you?
Me: Yes
Mark: I'm sorry
Me: Not your fault. I'm a dirty homo.
Mark: Me too, but don't say that - Call me
I didn't feel like being coddled and pacified right now. I turned the phone completely off and put it on the charger.
"What did he say?" Ravan asked.
"Nothing" I said.
Danny got up and peeked out the window. Seeing the lights on in the kitchen, he told us he was going back to the house.
"Talk to me, Kreg" Rav pleaded.
"I don't know what to say..." I told him.
He tried to hug me, but I pushed him away and locked myself in the bathroom. I undressed and got in the shower and stood under the hot water. I heard Ravan knocking on the door, but I ignored him. I felt a burst of cool air; he used the emergency key thing to open the door. I kept my back to him as tears ran down my face again. I could hear shuffling around, then the shower door opened, and he stepped in. He tried to console me, but I pushed him away again.
"Kreg, don't shut me out" he pleaded softly.
"You shouldn't be around me, I'm toxic" I told him.
"I'd rather be poisoned with you than alone without you" he said sadly, leaned back into the shower wall. It's like his words were echoing in my head. He tried to put his arms around me again. This time I let him pull me back to him; my back pressed tightly to his front. I could feel his junk, but for once it wasn't hard, just a soft lump against my left cheek and next to my wet tail hanging down between my legs. He rested his chin on my right shoulder and whispered into my ear.
"And...you're not toxic...at least...I don't think you are...I mean...if you are, so am I" he whispered. I didn't have words to explain how deep my self-loathing went. I just leaned back into him and sobbed until my tear ducts ran dry and the water started getting too cold to tolerate. We got out and I stood still and let him dry us off. Rav opened the door and started to walk into the bedroom, then jumped back.
"Dad, we're getting out of the shower!" he said.
"Good. I wanted to talk to you both" Kris said. Ravan sighed.
"Dad, we're naked. Our clothes are out there" Ravan said.
"Oh, fine. Come in the house before you leave, then" Kris said. Ravan waited for the door to shut and walked into the bedroom. The door immediately opened again, and Kris stuck his head in and said, "I've seen everything you've got, by the way, though I thought it would be bigger by now." Ravan threw the wet towel at him, but he closed the door before it hit.
"He hasn't seen everything I've got" I said.
"Me either, not since I was like, six years old" Ravan said, "Other than just now -- and that water was getting cold before we got out."
We got dressed and I took my phone off the charger and turned it back on. I had a lot of missed calls and text messages. As we walked down the stairs, I clicked on the oldest one from Mark.
Kreg please call me back
There were several more of those between voice messages saying the more or less the same. I clicked on the last incoming text message.
I'd rather not text you the information I have. When you clear your head, call me
I decided to call him after we talked to Ravan's dad. I pocketed the phone, and we walked inside.
"Hey shorty!" Ravan's dad said.
"He must be talking to you" Rav said, looking at me.
"I wasn't out of the bathroom when he came in" I said back. Kris grinned and Rav glared back at him. We sat down across from Kris and Kathy and waited for the speech.
"I have to be on campus by 9am this morning" I said before anything else got going. It was already nearly 8 o'clock and I didn't want to be late to meet Mr. Winston and get my bookstore job going.
"It won't take but a minute" Kris said, "I just wanted to see how you are. Danny said you got more bad news."
"I guess. I got a text from mom. She's not being forced to go. She wants to" I said with a lump crawling up in my throat again.
"I'm sorry" Kathy said.
"I know Kris already told you, but I'll tell you again, you're welcome to stay with us as long as you want. You and Ravan are great for each other. I've never seen Ravan so happy" Kathy said.
"Mommm!" Ravan whined.
"What? It's true. You moped around for so long after that Erin guy" she said.
"Eric -- you never could even learn his name" Ravan said.
"He treated you so badly, I didn't want to" she said, "Anyway, you're welcome here. Don't feel alone in the world, you have us."
I was still processing everything, but I told them I appreciated their kindness. Rav said we better get going, his first class today was an early one. We went out and got in the car. As he headed toward the college, I decided to call Mark back and see what he wanted to tell me that he wouldn't just text. I pulled up my contacts and clicked on him and put the phone to my ear.
"Kreg! Finally!" he said.
"Yeah, sorry. I had a lot on my plate the last few days" I said.
"I know" he said, "are you alone?"
"Not exactly, just me and my boyfriend though" I answered. Ravan glanced over at me and mouthed `what's going on?' I shrugged.
"I'm not on speaker though?" he asked, and I confirmed that he wasn't. Even so, he spoke very close to a whisper.
"Before your mom and dad boarded, she told me to go get something from the house" he told me.
"What?" I asked him.
"Her text said, if you ask, I'm supposed to tell you we can't discuss it over the phone" he said.
"So do you have it, whatever it is?" I asked him. The line was very quiet.
"I will not discuss this except in person...PERIOD" he said again.
"Okay. But is it money'?" I asked. He sighed again.
"Not over the phone" he said.
"Why did you tell me to call you? You won't tell me anything" I told him.
"I'll come pick you up Friday, I want you to come spend the weekend with me. We'll discuss everything then. Okay?" he asked.
"Okay, I guess..." I said, "This isn't some kind of trick to get me on transport to Vanterra is it?"
"You know me better than that..." he said. He was right. Mark was one of only a handful of people I trusted right now.
"Okay, see you Friday, then" I told him.
We pulled up in front of Rapid Resource, the campus bookstore, and I jumped out.
"Fill me in later?" Rav asked. I nodded and walked inside.
My first day was spent mostly filling out paperwork and figuring out my schedule. It was only 20 hours a week and since I just agreed to go to Mark's this weekend, those hours were out of the question. Mr. Winston was a very cool guy to work for. He wasn't that old, late 30s, and he insisted I call him Evan. I wasn't sure what to use for my address, I decided I better use Rav's, and I had to text him and ask for it. The rest of my first shift was stocking books and breaking down shipping boxes. Rav came in just before closing. I told Evan that Rav was my boyfriend, and Evan let him wait inside while I clocked out.
The rest of the week went by kind of slow. When Friday finally came, I was ready to find out what Mark was talking about. When Ravan texted back his address for the job application, I went ahead and texted it to Mark so when we got back to Ravan's Friday afternoon, I saw his dark blue Jeep parked at the curb in front of Ravan's house. I reminded Ravan about what I told him a few days ago. We got out of the car, and I waved toward the Jeep and Mark got out. I watched Ravan's face. It's not that Mark is like a muscle magazine model or anything, but he is built right in all the right places. Standing about 6'2" and 190lbs with a minimum of body fat. He looks like a lumberjack stereotype. It's a little cool today so he's got on a pair of old jeans, and a red flannel shirt with the top two buttons open showing the white tee-shirt underneath with just a little chest hair spilling over the top.
"Close your mouth dude, you're embarrassing me" I said as I elbowed Rav in the ribs.
"So, is this your boyfriend?" he asked me.
"Yeah, this is Ravan" I told him, "Ravan, this is my uncle Mark."
"Pleased to eat you...oh shit...I mean meet you" Rav said as his ears turned deep red inside.
Mark did a double take at that slip and then laughed. "He's a cutie, you were right about that" he said to me. I saw a second blush hit my boyfriend.
"Are you ready to take off?" Mark asked.
"Come in and meet Ravan's parents first" I told him. He gave me an impatient sigh but followed us inside. I introduced him to Kris and Kathy. I think Kris was getting uncomfortable about the way Kathy was staring at him. I finally told them I was going to spend the weekend with him. I kind of felt like I needed to get their permission though I knew I didn't. I kind of felt bad leaving Ravan alone.
"Maybe Ravan will be able to do some studying while you're gone" Kris kidded. I had brought a lot of drama to their house; I had to admit. I left Mark talking to Kris and Kathy while Rav and I ran up to get my stuff.
"Kreg...are you sure you don't want to go live with him?" Rav asked.
"Are you tired of me already?" I asked.
"Never. I was just thinking -- I mean, he's family and all that" he said.
"Besides, why would I want to be with this dumpy guy when I have you?" I told him. Ravan smiled but I could see him mentally comparing himself. "Trust me, I can't really think of him that way. We grew up together."
"What happened to you?" Rav said, "Why don't you look like that?"
"Keep talking horndog, and I'll make you regret it next time..." I was saying when Danny walked in.
"Next time, huh?" he said, "Hey who's bar bouncer is in our kitchen?"
"Rav'll fill you in, we gotta go" I said as I shouldered my backpack and went downstairs to go with Mark.
Lambodara 12/22/24
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