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Note from the author: Hi, guys. Sorry, it took so long, unfortunately. I had some technical issues (https://www.patreon.com/posts/89319882 - for those curious...), and then I was swamped with finishing the first parts of the sequels. I will post more frequently now and post FomEB and MNPA soon.
.. . The Life With Nathaniel . . A couple of months later. I wish I could tell you it went smoothly from then on. That the love we had with Nathaniel made everything possible... But in reality, life doesn't go that way, and we knew that. .
The Saturday I met with Ashley was pure hell! I remember it started pretty civil, and Nate and Jerry were trying to keep Ashley and me calm, but there was too much resentment. I am sure we both care about one another in some way, but this affair destroyed the relationship between Ashley and me to such an extent that I wasn't sure if we would ever be able to repair it. . Now, when I look back on those first months Nate and I tried to date, I feel awful for him. As he tried to balance life between the two of us, I honestly wondered why he even did that... I would have given up after two weeks. That's how bad it was... One good thing, though, was that he and Jerry became better friends this way, as Jerry was helping Nate immensely and was also rooting for our relationship. . For Nate was very important to keep both Ash and me in his life. We've tried many times to talk, and I suppose each one was a bit better, but so many hurtful words were spoken in those months that I believed that even if we managed to talk with each other one day, there would be things we would never forgive. . Thankfully, Ashley didn't want to forbid Nate from raising their child, but the thought that he would do it by my side was painful for her, and she hadn't forgotten to mention it every single time. . I found a place, and at first, Nate spent most of his nights with me while he still kept living with Ash, which was torture for me. After about two months like this, I was ready to give up. I wish I could be the mature one here, the one who understands and is patient, but no matter how understanding I tried to be, this was seriously killing me! . One night, he came, absolutely spent and exhausted, and asked me if he could live with me. I was over the moon and agreed. Ashley didn't contact any of us for over a month after that. . I wished we could at least enjoy the summer. We really tried, but with all the stress, pandemic, and everything happening all at once, we were happy sometimes that we could just curl up next to each other at night and hold on tight. If I ever came close to depression, it was in these months right here... . June and July passed like this, and in August, Ross and Kyle finally finished Jerry's basement. He and Ashley were like siblings they never had by this point. Yes, I mean this sentence with all seriousness. Jerry kept trying with Nate to somehow keep the four of us in contact. He was ecstatic when he called us with Nate to come and look at his new studio, and for a short moment, we all thought this would help us break the ice. We didn't even get to see it... . The following Monday, Ashley knocked on our door. At first, I thought it would be Nate forgetting something, but seeing her there made me double-check if I saw it correctly. I swore under my breath and opened the door.
"Hi, Nate is not here."
"I know. Can we talk?"
"Sure, come on in."
She stepped in and looked around since this was the first time she had entered this space. Her belly was now starting to show. She was about six months.
"How do you know he is not here?"
"I talked with him over on the phone. He is at Brandon's."
"Yeah."
"Can I sit?"
"No, I will make the pregnant woman stand..." I shook my head and pointed at the couch. "Just sit down, Ashley."
"I wasn't sure if you would want to speak with me."
"Why? Because you kept screaming at me for like an hour and kicked me out of the house?"
"I may have been a bit emotional then," she said to the carpet as she sat on the cushion.
"Nooo, I got used to it by now, don't worry."
"I swear, Richard, you are the only person that can make me this livid."
"Same here. What do you want?"
I stood in front of her with my hands in the pockets of my jeans.
"I've been to the doctor today," she started quietly and looked at her hands.
"Is everything all right?"
She looked solemn. No matter how cruel we can be toward one another, I care for her well-being.
"No."
I sat. There was no sneer, no maliciousness in me anymore. From the way she looked, I got genuinely worried.
"What is going on?"
She looked severely into my eyes.
"Do you mean it seriously with Nate?"
"Not this again, Ashley. What is going on?"
"Answer me, Richard."
"Yes, I mean it seriously with Nate. I wouldn't do this otherwise. I am not that cruel person to take your husband from you out of spite."
She nodded.
"Then I want to make a deal."
"What?"
"I will stop. Well, I will do my best to stop treating you like the traitor that took my husband away."
"Why?" I was now seriously worried for her life! I know reading only words may sound like a fantastic gesture, but one, she is not the kind of person to do this, especially after I saw her these past months, and two, she looked pale and apprehensive.
"I just want us to be a family," she started crying!
"What is going on, Ashley?!"
"I want this baby, Richard!" She held her belly and started shaking and crying.
I jumped on my knees right in front of her and hugged her as she cried. "What is going on?!"
She shook her head and clutched her arm around mine.
"Ashley, please, please talk to me!"
"The baby is too small. The doctor is doing some tests, but we had a long talk, and she asked me if there was some stress in my life recently."
"Fuck..."
"Rick, please stop swearing constantly."
I bit my tongue as this was absolutely not important now, but I just looked at her, urging her to talk more.
"I need this to stop!"
"You mean Nate and me?" I swear if she'd said that, I wouldn't know what to do!
"No. I am not stupid. Nate loves you. It would destroy him, and I would never forgive myself. I mean our constant fights."
"Do you want me to go away or not to go near you for a few months?"
"I kind of hoped we could just try to be better towards each other." . I was lost for words. She told me how she spoke with Mr. Harris, Jerry's father, before coming here, and they think it's God's sign or something. I swallowed a few thoughts about that and let her speak. She was worried she was being punished, and I tried to tell her that she didn't do anything wrong. If anyone did something wrong, it was Nate and me, but we just fell in love!
She nodded and cried some more. I held her, realizing that this was the first time we had touched since I was twenty-one! I felt sad realizing that and hugged her tighter.
We spent a long time talking. We started with both guilting ourselves and later even talked about our parents. It was so fucking heavy...
Nate returned with a broad smile and kinky look, but the second he found us in an embrace, our faces red from crying, he got concerned. We told him we were trying to be nicer to each other for the baby, and he seemed moved.
Ashley spent that night over at our apartment. She refused to sleep in the bed we shared, so we made her a cozy place to sleep on the couch. That night I fell asleep in Nate's arms, absolutely crushed by remorse, but I couldn't bear to tell about it. . . . . . Morning came, and Ashley made us breakfast. We ate, and she asked how we planned on celebrating Nate's birthday. Nate said we didn't plan anything special, and I silently ate as I couldn't bring myself to say that I actually did.
She asked if she could invite Nate's friends like she did every year. I saw that Nate looked like he would love that, even though he quickly looked at me, trying to seem unaffected. I smiled forcefully. I didn't like that she would be organizing it, I wanted to make something for the two of us, but when I looked at him, I knew he was genuinely excited about that. In the end, she knows him much better than I do. And she loves organizing events, while I, on the other hand, hate even attending them sometimes. Great... Ashley - 1, Rick - 0.
"Sure," I said with that forced smile and took a bite.
"It would be cramped in here, though. But it could be fun."
"Here? Nate, we can do it at our house. It's still your house as well."
"I live here, Ashley," he said patiently.
"Sure, but there is much more space."
"I know Ashley, but I don't live there anymore. I will come as much you need me to, but I live here with Richard," he repeated.
I saw her disappointment. She must have felt left out. She loves organizing and hosting parties. She cares for Nate's friends; from what I've been told, she was close with each partner of Nate's buddies and even with them. I felt sorry for her. How much has she lost when I took Nate... Father to her child, friend group, and chance to be the kind of person she always aspired to be. Supportive, caring wife and mother. I knew her well enough to know that even though she is often immersed in her work, she always liked the idea of being a wife and mother more. Good Christian girl... with good Christian dreams... I crushed it all in a single month.
"You know, Nate, in a way, that house belongs to all of us. And Asley is right. It's bigger."
I smiled at her. The shock in her eyes that I agreed with her was making me feel even worse.
"We could sleep in our old room if Ashley would be okay with it."
"I would love that!"
Damn... she must feel so lonely.
"Would you be really okay with that, Richard?" Nate must have known I am not a hundred percent comfortable with it.
"Sure, plus I need to see what Ross with Kyle had done with that basement!"
Ashley looked at me with a grateful smile. Little steps...
"Are you absolutely sure, Richard?"
"Yeah. I think it will be great, plus I hate organizing parties. But I can help Ash."
"That sounds great!" she sounded like a shy little girl just then.
"In that case, I thank both of you..." Nate said slowly, observing me closely.
She told us that she should go home, and Nate offered to drive her. .
From that day, we both tried our best to conceal our rage. It took a great effort, but we managed to tone it down.
. . . . . Fri, Aug. 21, 2020
"Happy Birthday, baby," I smiled as I brought him breakfast.
"Good morning, Richard."
I leaned toward him and kissed him. "How would you like to spend your day?"
"With you! I don't care for much else."
"How sweet. Don't worry. I am not going anywhere."
"Good."
I brushed his hair back and just took in the view I had. I had this amazing man in my bed. Someone I would never expect, yet I was grateful for every moment with him. Nathaniel just stared at me with a smile.
"You came from a run?"
"Yeah, I would shower, but I thought you wouldn't mind."
"I genuinely don't!" He sniffed my neck, which sent a tingling sensation all over my body. My little twisted man! How I love that about him!
"Your sweat and precum, I love what that does to me!"
"I love what that does to you as well."
I licked his lips and dove into his mouth, passionately embracing him. He raised my shirt over my head and licked my neck and shoulders. Then he traveled to my peck to bite my nipple lightly. I smiled and pressed him back onto the pillow and straddling his hips.
I untied the top of my pants and stood up above him. Nate watched me with hungry eyes, and I couldn't help but grin.
"Come for it, baby."
Nathaniel stood on the bed with me and dove into my mouth, sucking the air out of my lungs and pulling me closer. I grabbed him by his neck and twisted his face upwards to lick his neck and Adam's apple, hearing his moans as I pulled lightly on his nipple and squeezed his firm ass.
Nate scratched my back, and I saw the fire in him. He raised my arm and dove on my pit, feasting on it hungrily and licking me all over. I tilted my head in ecstasy and let him lick me clean before he knelt and pulled the pants down. He brushed his beautiful face on it and breathed it in before he took my dick into his mouth. I started slowly fucking his face and soon felt his tight throat spasm around my cock. This sent me into overdrive, and I pushed him away and ripped those shorts off him. We rolled and kissed all parts of our bodies we could reach.
I pinned him down, and he struggled with the widest hungry grin for a little while. He raised his head, trying to lick me as I hovered on top of him, and then I grabbed a rope from the floor and wrapped it around his wrists. He roared and pulled, trying to wiggle free.
I looked into his eyes, and that devious smirk played on his lips.
"You want to play it like this today?" I smiled at him.
"Take me if you can!" He whispered with a grin. Nate wrapped his legs around my waist and tried to turn me on my back.
"As you wish, baby!"
"Wreck me, Richard!"
"My twisted birthday boy!"
With that, we started to wrestle hard! We got pretty good at wrestling each other in these past months. The strength and aggression of this man were driving me crazy! One time, we made love in the most sensual way, and within minutes, we could be fighting for control and wrestling like madmen. I could never guess what side of this man I would encounter in the next minute. I loved it!
I pushed on his hip and jumped on his back, trying to pull his second arm to the first and tie them together, but he wouldn't let me have it that easy! He wiggled from me and raised himself, biting my forearm.
"Fuck!" In a surge of adrenaline, I roared and slammed him down harder before I pounced on those swollen red lips and destroyed them, making him squirm under me!
We rolled and twisted for minutes until I finally managed to tie his hands behind his back and spread his legs, diving onto that pink crack!
I enjoyed my victory and feasted on it like on my last meal until he howled and begged me to fuck him. His eyes were crazed and dark. I loved this side of him so much!
"Not yet, baby."
I turned him on his back and sat on his face.
"Eat, baby."
He looked into my eyes and started rimming me with such skill that I felt euphoric. I kept looking at his trembling and leaking cock, and then I couldn't help but to turn and take it into my throat. I heard his muffled scream and relished the taste of his precum.
I pointed the head of my dick to his mouth, and he gulped it down to the base, making me tremble. What that man could do with his tongue was fucking perfection!
"For fuck's sake, Richard, please, please take me already!"
"As my birthday boy wishes." I smiled and stood up. "Spread for me, baby."
I was standing above him, jerking my twitching dick watching him shamelessly spread his legs wide, inviting me with a dazed horned look, and parted swollen red lips.
I kneeled and gently lowered myself onto his body. I kissed his neck and ear.
"I love you, Nathaniel."
He looked at me with such a beautiful smile that I couldn't keep myself from kissing him as I gently brushed his thighs and slowly pushed in. He looked into my eyes with absolute submission as I gently moved deeper and deeper into his soft tunnel. I felt him squeeze the muscles around my cock, making me moan and kiss him again.
"I love you too, Richard!"
"My beautiful, amazing man!" I kept kissing him and moved in and out of him ever so softly.
I started to feel him trembling under me, and his dick leaked on his belly when I took it in my hand and soothingly stroked.
"I want to wake up like this every day!" Nate said it with such compassion in his voice that I felt elated.
"I want to be by your side forever." I was so emotional now that I couldn't stop looking at him.
It may sound strange to say such a sentence out of context, but at that moment, I felt like that, and I couldn't help but say it.
Nathaniel looked as if he was going to cry.
"Untie me, Richard."
I reached behind his back and did as he asked me to. He pulled my head close and kissed me while holding my face with both hands. We sped up our thrusts, and soon, we were both moaning and shaking. We were close. I kissed him the whole time until I felt I was reaching the edge of heaven itself.
"I love you so much!" I kissed him as I started shaking, filling him with my cum. Dazed and overflowing with so many emotions, it was hard for me to come down back to reality. Nathaniel smiled at me so lovingly that I thought there was nothing in this world I needed more than to see this smile.
Nate waited, and then he turned me gently on my back. He kissed me before he kissed his way down to my balls and tenderly licked them. After that, he lowered between my legs and kissed my crack, rimming me so well I thought I would come the second time soon. I felt his fingers, and then he reached for the lube, pushing into me two at once. I lay there in awe, watching him before he laid on me and filled me slowly with his cock. I hissed slightly, but he was so gentle and slow that I felt no pain. He started trusting in me, and soon he kissed me, trembling as I did before.
"I will always be by your side if you let me, Richard." He kissed me, and I nodded, moving with his thrusts. It took maybe a minute or two, and he started shaking and moaning as I felt him claiming me with his cum.
Nate lay on my chest and hugged me tightly. .
We rested there like that for a long time, enjoying the closeness we needed. I will never have enough of this man!
We spent the day in such harmony that I dreaded stepping out of this place. But around three o'clock, we got dressed and went to Ashley's. It's time to help prepare for Nate's birthday. . . . . .
We arrived, and I tried my hardest to stay composed. Nate held my hand as we stepped in, and Ashley welcomed us with a warm smile and she hugged us.
I have to admit she is slowly changing a lot. Since Jerry told his parents what happened and that he moved here, they became frequent guests, and from what I heard, they loved Ashley as a daughter they never had. Life is really strange sometimes.
Jerry showed me the basement, and it looked absolutely amazing! He had pretty much everything there, and they even changed the door and stairs. With how Ashley and Nate remodeled the house before, there was nothing original from our childhood I remembered. I have to say, I loved that.
I asked about the things Nate told me Ashley kept for me, and Jerry told me they were in our room.
"In our room?"
"Yours and Nate's, of course."
"It's not our room anymore, Jerry."
"Tell that to Ashley. She refuses to touch it. Well, to be honest, no one really uses any room upstairs anymore."
"Where does Ashley sleep?"
"She remodeled the office. It's huge anyway."
"That's a bit of a waste, don't you think?"
"Honestly? No, I don't think so."
I looked suspiciously at him.
"Not like I care. Keep your secret snares." I said mockingly and returned to help Ashley with preparations.
Nate and Jerry went somewhere, and only Asley and I stayed in the kitchen. We talked a little, and we both have been trying since the day she came, and it seems to be working. Little steps... I was grateful; the lump in my throat was slowly dissolving, and I started to hope this evening would be fine in the end.
"I heard you are down in that room."
"Yeah, I shouldn't be much climbing the stairs, and I have to say, I got used to that room. When we worked on the basement, I just took advantage of it and created the perfect bedroom down there."
"Really? I thought that you loved your old room."
"I hated it, Nate knew it and wanted to make the downstairs into my bedroom, but I didn't want to be so far, especially when we already didn't share a room in the first place. After Nate left, there was nothing worth for me to stay there."
"I see. I am sorry I didn't know."
"It's fine," she shrugged.
I looked at her, concerned. I cared for her and the baby. The image of her on our couch was still vivid in my memory. "How are you holding up?"
"I don't know... It's weird. I always expected that when I married, my husband would know he could have other lovers. I would just need him to come back to me. So, I never cared if someone else would sleep with Nate. I wouldn't care if he had a new woman every week." She looked at me. "Or man, I suppose now... Because I thought he would be here, by my side... I know he loves me just as much as I love him. But seeing him leave... That was something I couldn't stand."
I nodded. The room was filled with sadness, yet I felt like this was something we both needed to hear and say to move on.
"I know, I thought about that. I hated myself for it."
"Still, you couldn't help it."
"I suppose neither of us could."
"True."
"You know the house feels so lonely. I am grateful that Jerry decided to stay here, but on the other side, I am worried that I am just some leach that he pities."
"Ashley, I know Jerry. I know him very well, and trust me when I tell you he loves you! He would never stay if he didn't want. He could have just visited often or occasionally, and he would make peace with it. It was his decision to stay because he really wanted to."
She looked moved and nodded, wiping away her tears. "Thank you for saying that."
"I am pretty sure Jerry said it already."
"He did."
"You see."
"You know I miss you too in a weird way. I've missed you since you left when we were young, and I hate that we couldn't make things better between us."
"There is still a chance for that. I am not going anywhere this time."
She looked at me like she wanted to believe me but was worried about getting her hopes up.
I seriously need to stop running from people who love me! The only person I haven't run from was Jerry, and only because he ran away from me first... What kind of person am I? .
We heard the knock, and soon Nate came to tell us that Matt had come with Thomas and Brandon. Ashley composed herself and smiled at me.
Soon, the rest arrived as well. It was a bit awkward initially, but Nate's buddies were such great guys that the mood shifted quickly, and we had amazing times.
Even though I was tense and worried at the start, by twenty minutes, they had all been there. I was laughing my ass off with them, enjoying this wholeheartedly! Nate beamed and looked after all this time like he was in his own world. He was so hot! He was a kind, gentle host with a spark in his eyes and such a sense of humor that most of the evening we spent talking and laughing. Now I understood why Ashley wanted to make this party. I could see her in a totally new light. She was smiling a lot, kind, and even funny. They were a really compact group, and it was apparent they all knew each other very well. .
Ashley called us to dinner, and we sat. She made Nate sit at the head of the table, and she and I sat at his sides. We ate and had a good time when Susan asked Ash whether we thought about the name for the baby. Ashley said she hoped we could do the same as when Susan was expecting. I looked quizzically at Nate, and they explained that when Dan and Susan were expecting, they asked others what they thought they should name their little girl, and everybody would pitch in ideas.
The baby was now sure to be a boy, and everybody said something nice, but I felt a bit reserved.
"What you think, Richard?" Ashley asked.
I looked around. Dan with Susan and Thomas with Matt were whispering quietly with smiles.
I looked at Nate, and I was afraid, to be honest. There was only one name I'd found perfect.
"I don't want to be insensitive, so please tell me if I cross the line, but how about Luke?"
The room went dead quiet. Dan stopped talking, and Susan turned to me. Matt straightened his spine, and there was no sign of a smile on his face now. Thomas looked understandingly at Matt. Brandon was the only one with a warm smile.
I had no courage to look at Nate. Jerry frowned as he looked at each of us in confusion.
"After Nate's brother?" Ashley asked, but she also seemed slightly surprised by the room's sudden tension. .
I gathered all my strength and turned to Nathaniel. He looked at me for the longest time and kissed me, holding my head in his palms so tight I couldn't tell if I hurt him or made him so happy.
"Could you excuse me for a moment?"
Nate and I turned after hearing Matt's voice cracking. He stood up and left the table. Tom smiled gently at us and went after him. I started to feel bad. Seems like I destroyed the mood.
"I am sorry, I just thought...."
Nate stopped me with his hand on my forearm and shook his head before kissing me again. He was emotional. "Thank you."
He composed himself after a short moment and looked at speechless Ashley.
"I would love it if Ashley would be okay with that."
Ashley seemed to be moved by Nate's reaction and nodded.
"I love it."
Brandon raised his glass. "So I suppose it's decided. To little Luke Hayes."
Ashley asked. "How about Luke Thornton-Hayes?"
Now I got emotional as well. Damn, what is happening to me?
Everyone smiled and raised their glasses. .
I saw Matt looking at me from a distance while holding Tom's hand. Then he looked back at Tom and said something to him before he kissed the palm of his hand, and they returned to the table. Matt's eyes were red, and he patted Nate on his shoulder. Those two looked at each other in silent understanding before Matt smiled.
"I am sorry, but can I ask something?" Brandon spoke as Matt and Tom sat back at the table.
"I am a bit worried, Brandon. Your questions are dangerous sometimes." Matt spoke with a smirk.
Bran looked at the three of us. "You are not trying for the normal family award anyway, and you look like you can work together quite well when you want. I mean, I love what you've done with this place."
"Where are you going with this?" Nate asked as he put down his glass.
"Do you seriously want to drag that child from one place to another?"
We all frowned at him. However, he seemed unmoved by that and continued sincerely.
"Since no one will say something, I want to ask the question that we all think. How about you all live here?"
And it was going so well...
"I don't know how that would work, Brandon," I said calmly.
"Why?" this time, Ashley spoke. Oh no...!
"I mean, you need as little stress as possible," I tried to sound sensible.
"We haven't fought for over two weeks."
"Yay to us, but how long can we do this?"
"You know, you can just say you don't want that. That's fine. I just liked that idea."
"And where would all of us even live?"
"You can be in your room. I've been in my office anyway. The second floor is pretty much deserted now."
She really thought it out, did she... Fuck! I don't want this... I looked at Nate, and it was obvious how he felt about that.
"And baby Luke?"
"He will be at first in my room, and then we can make his room up in my old one."
"You have thought about that?" Nate asked Ashley. There was hope and love in his voice. But, it was breaking my heart...
"Maybe... I miss you here," Ashley admitted. .
Now I realized that they all silently sat there while we bickered. I felt even worse. I suppose it would be a dream come true for Nate to have both of us, the people he loves most, under one roof and with the baby, seeing him day after day growing up. But what about me? I hate this house! I am apprehensive about being with Ash daily, not to mention we would have no privacy.
I looked at Nate, and I could see he tried his hardest not to make me feel like he was pressuring me. "Let me think about that."
"Sure." He nodded with a loving smile.
"If you want, I can give you a number to one great relationship therapist. She is amazing with nontraditional pairings." That guy had the guts to speak some more...
"Great, Brandon, thank you, you're ideas are always amazing." I said sarcastically, "Next time, you can rather cook us something."
Matt chuckled. "I agree with Richard. Let them deal with their issues themselves, Brandon."
"I do. I just hate when people don't tell what they want and let it linger in the air."
"It's their air. Shut up."
"I know it's not my place to say this, but I agree with Brandon."
"Thank you, Jerry. Your opinion is heard." I was getting really frustrated here. Jerry looked at me, flustered. It was a long time since I used that tone on him, and I didn't even realize what effect it could have on him.
"Sorry, daddy..." He bowed his head. Then he realized immediately as these words flew out. "Damn it, I mean... Rick..."
I looked absolutely staggered at Jerry. I knew he tends to do that when nervous, but the setting was just the worst! Not to mention that it is just the remainder of this absolutely crazy grouping that should live under one roof. My sister, my ex-boyfriend, and my partner. This was too much!
Brandon burst out laughing after he saw my face. He probably didn't know yet that Jerry and I used to date, and he had this nasty tendency to burst out laughing in those least comfortable situations.
"Brandon!" Nate looked angry.
"I am sorry!" Brandon tried to stop laughing and raised his hands in the air. .
I facepalmed and just stood up.
"I need air."
I left and slammed the door behind me, sitting on the doorstep.
"Hi, princess."
"Matt."
He sat next to me.
"I must admit this is one of the most interesting birthday parties ever."
"I am glad someone is enjoying it."
"Look, Brandon means well."
"I know, but now I look like the one standing in the way. I want Nate to be happy, but I am not the kind of person he needs me to be."
"I don't think he needs you to be anyone you are not. Nate loves you, and he understands your point of view."
"Still, he would be thrilled living here like one big twisted family."
"Probably, but he will never make you do anything you are uncomfortable with."
"I know."
We just sat there, and the sun was slowly setting.
"What would you do?"
"I would keep both."
"What do you mean?"
"When is your birthday, Richard?"
"November sixth, why?"
"Come with me."
I didn't understand, but I stood up and followed him to his car. Matt reached into some bag on the backseat and handed me a set of keys.
"Rent free. Happy birthday."
"What the fuck?" I just stared at it, not understanding a thing.
"Give this chance. I mean, I may be wrong, but I have to say that no matter how much I hate Brandon's outbursts, he is usually right. You can call me superstitious."
"What does that have to do with this?" I showed him the keys.
"Try this. Give life with them a chance, and you can go here whenever you need space to breathe or take Nate and enjoy quiet time with him. I will write you an address."
"I could just keep the apartment we have now."
"Sure, you can, but that can lead to discussions about spending money on a place you do not even live in, and I need to pay the bills for this place anyway."
"Why don't you keep it?"
"Let's say I want to make a romantic gesture to my current partner."
"Why should Tom mind you have an apartment?"
"Let's say he wasn't very thrilled when I told him why I bought it in the first place."
Right... And still, you managed to be with him somehow... I must say it's impressive. "Still, I don't think he would make you give it to someone else."
"I am sure he wouldn't, but I think he would like that. Honestly, I wanted to rent it, but this way, it is a better investment. And I don't need the money."
"Damn... Thank you."
"Sure."
"Matt?" I looked puzzled at those keys again.
"Yeah, princess?"
"I don't know if I want to be raising a kid."
He patted my shoulder. "Then you fucked yourself into the wrong family."
"Hilarious. Thank you."
"Look, Richard. I don't have any answers for you. But how about you try one day after another and see how that will go?"
"I suppose I can do that."
"You want to be with Nate?"
"More than anything."
"You love him."
"Of course!"
"In that case, I am sure you will love that kid with all your heart. I know I will."
I nodded. . . . . .
Epilogue... A couple of years later. Again. I wish I could tell you it went smoothly from then on. That the love we had with Nathaniel made everything possible... But in reality, life doesn't go that way, and we know that. ...
After that dinner, it took us a few weeks of talks and enormous effort on all sides to find a solution. Finally, I agreed to live in that house as everyone was really into that idea with the condition that I would keep the apartment Matt gave me access to. . The three of us started attending therapy, and even though I was against it, I was later grateful for that. We managed to become much better towards each other. . I won't lie. There are days when I just can't stand this crowded house and wish I would never come here, but one thing Matt was right about is that I love that kid with all my heart! That little buddy is making our lives one massive rollercoaster of emotions. I hate being a dad and love it at the same time. I care for that boy more than any living person, including Nate, and I would never want to be without him. . In all honesty, nothing is great. But we are taking it one day at a time. Cherishing the good and trying to work on the bad. It's a fucking hard work. As relationships are...
Most other people don't understand, and some will never even try, but I suppose we got used to it. We kind of embraced the fact that we are now one big, twisted family.
But in a way, I think we are all happier than our parents ever were, and Luke is loved more than any of us were as children. So after everything, I have to say it was fucking worth it. . . One more note for those curious.
Ashley and Nate got divorced about a year ago. It was not easy for her, as she really loved being Mrs. Hayes, but we all agreed that even though we were living together, it was not okay, and I suppose she finally acknowledged I mean it seriously with Nate, and I am here to stay.
Jerry's is a story that could write a separate book itself, but trust me, he is happy.
So today I took Luke out from nursery, and we are going shopping. I never wore much jewelry, but I suppose I can manage one ring. Well... if he'll have me, of course.
Tomorrow, Nate and I will have a midnight date, and I plan something very special for this one. And since I am not a romantic, it will be a bit over the top!
The End :)
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