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Chapter 32 - The Beginning
Nate turned around and sat on the couch. He looked so tired. Now I realized that he hadn't even taken off his jacket yet.
"Is this over?" he asked, tilting his head back against the backrest of the couch.
At that moment, I realized it! It's over! Ashley knows! Of course, it was not all perfect. We will probably have to deal with fuckload of guilt-tripping, and it will be tough with the baby coming. But damn it! We can be together!
I felt a surge of happiness rush through me. I thought about Nate saying that whatever would happen, we would deal with it together. It was like a heavy stone was lifted off my chest, and for the first time, I could breathe!
I could scream out of my lungs that this crumbled, tired, unkempt man sitting in front of me was MINE! I felt on top of the world right at that moment!
"I think it's the beginning," I said with a warm smile, trying to conceal my excitement. Nate was obviously hurting, and he had every right to be. His marriage had just fallen apart because of me. He would have to fight to be in his child's life. This last realization calmed me down a great deal. But still, what remained was that I was so grateful and happy that I could be with him. I had lost hope weeks ago.
.
Nathaniel's sigh brought me back. "I meant the hiding, guilt, and stress."
I laughed. "I don't know."
Nate looked at me, and the pain in his eyes made me stop.
"Sorry. How was your talk with Ashley?"
"Exhausting. I feel like I'm failing down a black hole, and I wish it could just be over."
I sat next to him and hugged him. "I'm sorry. I've been feeling like that for the longest time," Until now. I brushed my hand along his arm.
He just nodded and nuzzled in my arms.
"Nate?"
"What?"
"So... now when you are officially out, would you like to date me?"
He chuckled weakly and looked at me. "I'd love to."
As I leaned over Nathaniel, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of finally being able to kiss him freely.
I straddled his hips, the warmth of his body seeping into mine, and held his head in my hands as I pressed my lips to his. The worries that had weighed on me before, that someone might catch us or that being together made us wrong, seemed to melt away.
"Come," I said, taking Nathaniel's hand and leading him up the stairs to my room. I knew I would have to find a place of my own soon, but for now, this would do.
.
Nathaniel's shirt lay on my pillow, and he picked it up with a warm smile.
"I couldn't sleep without it," I said, shrugging.
"I had yours the same way," he replied.
I took a moment to study Nathaniel, admiring the way my clothes hung loosely on his smaller frame. "You've been wearing my clothes?" I asked.
"You said I could do anything with them," he said, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
"I love it," I said, pulling him closer to me.
Nathaniel smiled, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes as he looked away. "So what do you think?" he asked.
"About what?"
"How do I look with a beard?"
I hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I don't like what that beard symbolizes. You only wear it when you're feeling at your lowest. So no, I prefer you clean-shaven," I said honestly.
Nathaniel looked at me with such appreciation that it felt like he was squeezing my heart in his hands. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and kissed him again. I enjoyed the softness of his hair between my fingers and the warmth of his cologne wafting around us.
"Will you spend the night?" I asked, leaning my head on Nathaniel's shoulder.
"Here?" he asked, looking around.
"Yeah."
"Sure," he said.
I had the sudden urge to ask Nathaniel if he wanted to find a place to live with me, but I knew it was too soon. We had only been sleeping together for a month. What was happening to me?
"So what now?"
"I'm not sure. We can live like a normal couple in love. I don't think there's a specific guidebook for that."
He laughed. "Right, okay. Although I haven't dated in a while, and with everything closed right now, I don't think we can go out for dinner or anything like that."
"Do you enjoy things like that?"
I realized there are still many things we don't know about each other.
"I do, but it's not necessary."
"I'm not particularly romantic, but I can try." In the naked truth, I hate romance. I find it cringy and never really found appeal to it... But I will try for this man.
"I didn't think you would be."
"Why?"
"I just had that impression," he shrugged.
"Is that a problem?"
"No," Nate shook his head with a smile. "Well, given that I was able to sleep with you, even though Jerry said that was unexpected from you, I'm hopeful. But there's one thing. Don't force yourself to do something just because of me. I want to know the real you. I don't need you to present a certain image for me."
"You're overthinking this a bit," I grinned.
"Maybe a bit," he nodded.
I pressed my forehead against his and gently pushed. "Stop that."
"Sorry, it's just... there's a lot going on."
"I know... But we'll handle it." I looked at him earnestly. "Together."
Nate smiled and gave me a tender peck before he laid his head on my shoulder.
"I have to say. I was fascinated by the way you and Ashley argued."
"I don't like fighting."
"No one does, but you were still considerate and respectful even when you were angry."
"You've only seen a few. We've both lost our temper at times, but it's true. I care about her feelings and respect her. How did you argue with Jerry?"
"He would usually start yelling and crying, and I just wanted to leave and never come back."
He raised his head and looked at me. "Okay, we'll have to work on that. I don't want you to run away every time we have an argument." This seemed to be a big issue for him. He had already mentioned it several times.
"Then don't yell at me when you're angry."
"I usually don't do that."
"Perfect. But if I ever get angry and tell you to leave me alone, do it! I see red when I'm mad. If you give me some space to cool off, I'll be able to talk with you later, but if you try to deal with it right away, I'll either lose it or leave."
He nodded. "Okay."
"But you can always just strip and bend in front of me," I tried to lighten the mood.
"I don't want to know who this approach worked with, but I like it."
I smirked at him.
"But when I'm angry, don't try to have sex with me."
"No, I'll just work up some sweat and walk around you," I winked at him.
He chuckled and wanted to say something, but I covered his mouth with mine and kissed him possessively. I really didn't want to talk more about this...
.
"You're not angry now, are you?"
He smiled. "No, I'm just extremely tired."
"Me too." I kissed his neck.
He moaned, and I started to undress him.
"Richard?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry, but could we please not do this right now? I feel like my whole world has fallen apart."
"Sure. So how about I just take this off?"
He chuckled as I pulled the shirt over his head.
"And these. I suppose sleeping in loose pants is uncomfortable anyway."
"Right..." he grinned, watching me unzip his pants. I sat him on my bed and took them off.
"You don't sleep in socks anyway." I smiled at him while peeling them off his feet.
"Can I at least keep my underwear?"
"Why?" I tried to look like a hurt puppy.
He started laughing. "Okay, take them!"
"They're mine anyway. Every single piece of clothing on you was mine," I said with a wide grin. "Man, I have to say I like that. I'm sorry about the reason, but I love it. You're officially allowed to wear anything of mine from this point forward."
"Thank you," he said with a warm smile, watching me stand up and undress.
I lay down next to him and ran my fingers through his hair, just smiling at him.
"You're happy."
"I'm beyond happy, Nathaniel. I am on top of the world!"
"That's nice."
"You want to ask why?"
"I kind of hope I know the reason."
"Ask me, please. I want to say it out loud!"
"Okay, why are you so happy?"
"Beyond happy!"
He chuckled. "So?"
"Because you're mine!" I said, absolutely thrilled, hugging him tightly. There's no way I could sleep now.
"I'm glad. I really am, Richard. But it's still not easy for me."
"I know... I care about her, too, but you have no idea how much weight has been lifted from me. I feel like I could fly. You're mine, Nathaniel!" I squeezed him and saw that some of my excitement rubbed off on him, too. His eyes got a little spark of life in them as he watched me.
"I love you, Richard."
"I love you too, Nathaniel!"
"I want to sleep." He rubbed his cheek on my pec. I kissed the top of his head.
"Sure." I wrapped my arms around him more snugly and gently played with his hair.
"I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep like this," Nate said with a smile.
"Right. Here." I moved a little, watching him fall asleep.
He opened his eyes and grinned when he saw that I was watching him.
"Are you going to watch me sleep?"
"I'm just making sure you won't disappear."
"And you said you're not romantic." He said with a sleepy smile.
It didn't take more than a few minutes before he was breathing evenly and asleep.
I kissed his temple and let him sleep.
.
I went down and brainstormed some ideas. Who says I can't be romantic? I can, I think, just with a twist, of course!
.
. . .
.
"Nate..."
"Richard?"
"Wake up, babe."
"What?" He raised his head, dazed and confused.
"Come."
"What's going on?"
"Just come!"
"What time is it?"
"Midnight!"
"Why are you waking me up?"
"You've been asleep since three o'clock, so I think you should be rested enough. Come on, please."
.
Nate sat on the bed slowly, and I turned on the light. He immediately covered his eyes and, after a little while, put them down, frowning around him. He was so cute. I could just eat him!
"Why...? Whoa...! Where are you going?" He looked at me, utterly confused. I had on a navy blue suit, my beard was trimmed, and everything I could think of and do in these conditions was just perfect! I felt like a million dollars!
I smiled at him widely. "We have a date. Here." I set a new beige suit in his lap with a vest, a white pressed shirt, and a green tie. He just looked at me with his mouth open.
"In the bathroom is a shaving kit. I went shopping so you can have your own things here. Come on."
"What?" He walked behind me, dazed.
.
In the bathroom were a few things I knew he used and that I could find in stores. It took me over an hour only to find them. But thankfully, everything was sold in one small specialized store on the other side of town... The cab fare for all these trips was mental! But I couldn't drive just yet. I called there and had a great chat with the owner. She was touched when I told her the reason and came to hand it to me after I made the order online. I'm becoming regular from now on! It cost me a small fortune, and I think I got maybe half of what he used, but I was sure these were the ones he used daily.
"Richard?" Nate looked at the boxes, stunned.
"Get ready." I ceremoniously handed him the oil I loved on him and started all this. He frowned as he took it from me.
"What?"
"I threw mine away."
"Why?!" I asked, looking at him in confusion.
He looked at me, and I knew...
"Jerry told you?"
"He had the nerve to ask me if he could borrow it. He said he liked the smell, and it made his skin feel amazing," Nate's tone was laced with frustration. "He hasn't said it outright. But since he's not using the upstairs bathroom, there could be only one instance when he could have found out how it makes his skin feel."
I sighed. I could understand why it was bothering him.
"Nate, why do you think I did it?"
Nate's expression turned hurt. "Tell me."
"Baby... I was crazy about it. Because it's the smell I always associated with you." I watched him, shamefaced. "I know it's not the most romantic thing I can say, but I wanted to feel your scent because I didn't think I could ever have you for real."
Nate's eyes softened. He shook his head. "You're weird sometimes, Richard."
"Yes, I am," I admitted with a sheepish grin. "But will you still wear it?"
Nate opened the bottle and sniffed it, looking at me thoughtfully. "Yes," he said finally, his lips curving a little.
I beamed at him and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.
"Great! Now hurry up -- we have a dinner reservation."
Nate's brow furrowed in confusion. "A reservation? Where?"
I winked and smacked his butt playfully. "Here. Just come down when you're ready. Take your time. I'll meet you in the kitchen."
"Okay..." he was still confused but chuckled a little.
.
. . .
I heard the steps and came to greet him.
"I couldn't find the blow dryer, and I borrowed your socks," Nate said apologetically as he descended the stairs.
"You're perfect," He looked amazing. He had really made an effort to look good, and I loved how the suit fitted him.
I kissed him and led him into the kitchen. Ben and Peter had a dining area next to the double glass door leading to a terrace. I had bought about two dozen candles and spread them around the room.
"I'm not very good at romance. So when I try, it might come across as a bit over the top and silly." I looked at him. I was definitely crimson red, blushing. "But I just can't think of something romantic... so I go with things that make me roll my eyes when I see them in movies."
"Richard!" Nate exclaimed as he stopped in the doorway, speechless at the sight of the candlelit room.
"I promised Ben we wouldn't burn the house down, so let's hope this won't be too much," I chuckled, pulling him inside. Nate looked like he was about to cry. I was pleased with myself.
.
"I hope you're hungry," I sat him down at the table and brought out the plates. "I know you don't usually drink, but I found this and thought I would ask. You've drunk beer with me before."
"I've only had it twice with you because I was too nervous to refuse," Nate admitted.
"Right," I said, putting away the bottle. "I can take it away if you don't want it."
"No, it's fine," Nate assured me. "I don't mind."
"Are you sure?" I asked, just to be certain.
"Yeah," Nate nodded with a smile. "I'm sure."
I poured champagne into glasses, feeling a bit silly and cheesy. It was killing me, but I was doing it for Nate, and I could see that he was really enjoying this. I couldn't stop grinning.
"What's the occasion?" Nate asked.
"It's officially the first day of our official dating," I replied, handing him a glass.
He laughed. "Officially official?"
"Yes," I said proudly.
"It's like one o'clock in the morning, Richard," Nate pointed out.
I looked at the clock. "Yes, we are officially dating for a whole 43 minutes."
Nate laughed with deep laughter, tilting his head back. "Okay, so this will be our anniversary?"
"Yeah, you get one over-the-top romantic gesture yearly," I said with a smile.
Nate laughed widely. "I can work with that. But I don't have anything for you."
"I have some ideas of what you could do for me," I said suggestively, with a wicked smile. "But later. Let's first enjoy our first date. Then I want to show you Ben's basement. You'll love it!"
.
We ate, and I couldn't stop staring at him as we spoke. I loved how we could just sit there together.
"Where did you get these suits? They are amazing." Nate asked, admiring the sleek, well-tailored jacket.
"I called Matt about them. He seemed to be wearing them a lot, so I asked him where he got them. He insisted on buying them for me. I helped him with Tom, and he was very generous," I winked.
I had to smile, remembering the state of Matt and Tom when they met me in front of that shop.
"I think if I asked Matt for a dozen, he'd buy them for me," I said, grinning. "You should see the guy who came to sell them to us. He was a pro! I swear, when I get rich enough, I'm buying a suit from there myself."
"Sure, why not? You should probably know, though, that Matt doesn't own a suit that costs less than a thousand dollars. He can drive the cheapest car, but he's adamant about his suits," Nate said.
"Why would someone spend so much on clothes?" I asked, shocked, shaking my head.
"He says it's because of the craftsmanship. He loves how they look and feel," Nate explained.
"I can understand that... but still, a grand?" I said, still shaking my head.
"These are probably much more, Richard," Nate said.
"We can look. We're supposed to come for a fitting on Monday."
Nate just smirked and shook his head slightly.
"How did he look, by the way?"
"Beat up," I laughed wholeheartedly.
Nate's brow furrowed with concern.
"Nathaniel, I know how weird that may sound, but trust me, that is a good thing. And don't worry. He wasn't beaten up - beaten up... Let's just say I don't think Brandon could have used his bedroom for the whole day."
Nate chuckled. "Man..." he shook his head. "We all knew he had someone when he broke up with Natasha, but Thomas..."
"Is it that surprising that he's gay?"
"He's not gay, Richard," he stated calmly.
"You too? What is it with you pseudo-straight people? Why couldn't he be gay, or at least bi?"
"You don't know him. I believe he's with Thomas, and it's sincere, but there are things about him you just have no idea about. But yeah, I suppose he's probably bi. I'm really curious how that will turn out."
.
Nate took a bite, complimented it, and just watched me lovingly. I couldn't stop smiling.
"Still, I'd rather talk about us, to be honest."
"Okay, I suppose I could handle such a topic one night a year." I grinned, and he laughed.
"What would you rather talk about?" Nate asked, looking at me with such a beautiful, warm smile that I thought I would eat him right there!
"Tell me about your childhood, for example."
His face turned cold. "That's probably my least favorite theme."
"Then pick the things you're glad you remember. I just want to know more about you."
"I suppose I can find some. Will you do the same?"
"Damn, I'd rather discuss relationships." I grinned.
Nate laughed.
.
"What day is it today, anyway?"
"Officially, it's Saturday, April 25th, 2020."
"And we will celebrate it at midnight?"
"Yeah!"
"And you say you're not romantic?"
"I'm not. You get one special event a year."
"Midnight dates. I like it."
"To midnight dates!" I raised my glass.
He smiled and raised his. "To midnight dates!"
I leaned in and kissed him, feeling completely self-absorbed and on top of the world. He's mine, I thought to myself!
.
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Chapter 33 - The Life With Nathaniel - https://www.patreon.com/posts/77360006
We are slowly reaching a conclusion. Only the last chapter left and the Epilogue (it will be posted together). It was a pleasure.
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Have an amazing rest of the day.
I. Dusk