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Chapter 25 - Confessions
Jerry stood there with a tray. I planned to take it from him, but he just plainly walked in. "Damn, guys, you should air the room." Nate and I stared at him. We were both naked and sweaty. Jerry put down the tray for us and looked at Nate. He didn't bother to cover himself. They stared at each other for a while. Jerry checked him out and smiled slightly. "I have few things to say here, so bear with me, please." "Can we eat while you talk?" I was starving and thought eating might prevent a fight if those two started something. So I grabbed the bowls and brought them to bed, handing one to Nate. "Don't you want the tray?" "No, mommy, thank you," I told him mockingly but with a smile. Jerry smirked and sat on my chair facing us.
Nate was steering his meal slowly and watched Jerry with that calm stone mask. The expressions of this man... I grew to love that I could guess a few of them now. "You wanted to say something." "Damn, you are hot. Both of you. I have to say you two look good together." "Thanks." Nate nodded "When Rick came up after you, I felt a bit guilty, me being the guest here and with you saving me back then, offering me to crush over here. You were right, Nate. I didn't like you. I was judging you, and honestly, I felt jealous. I thought that the next time I'd meet Rick's boyfriend, he would be, well... copy of me, to be honest. I kind of made my peace with that, even prided myself on that a little bit. But when I saw you, I was confused, and at first, I thought that Rick just got frustrated with you being the only guy around with the lockdown and everything going on out there, that he just fucked you and didn't know how to tell you to get lost. You know, with you living with him. He got a few clingy guys over in these months, and every time I was the one who had to come and explain to them that he's not that interested." "How did you know he wasn't?" "To be honest, Jerry is right. I called him a few times. Why are you telling him this, Jerry? Seriously you could have just left it out. I've spent the whole afternoon explaining to him that I am not that big of a slut." Jerry laughed. "Rick, you were a slut! Even before me!" "Oh, thanks, you are a big help. Did you want to say anything else, or would you like to leave now?" "What I wanted to say, Nate, is I was jealous when I saw that Rick allowed you things he never allowed me, and I wanted to push him and you. I was curious how you or he would react to me still calling him daddy, but after you left, I realized that you were really hurt by it, and I felt bad. So I went up just a couple of seconds after Rick. I wanted to knock and apologize, but I heard you telling him about you throwing something out of the window if he calls me boy one more time." Nate and I looked at each other. "How long did you stay there listening?" "Quite a while." Nate looked bothered by it a lot. Jerry saw that. "Look, I didn't intend to creep on you, but I got really invested, and after a while, it became very emotional even for me, and then... hot as fuck." he smiled a little.
"Right, so what do you want now?" Nate asked coldly. "I wanted to apologize. I don't want to pose a problem for you. I don't think Rick or I would go back together, even though I am up for a threesome anytime with the two of you." I shook my head, trying to give Jerry a hint that this was not a good time for remarks like that. Nate was obviously hurt, and I tried to remember everything we even said. Jerry understood, and his face again crumbled into an apologetic one. "Ok, noted," Nate said. "Look, could we please start over?" "Sure, Jerry. I appreciate that." "Thanks."
We ate, and after a short while, Nate looked at Jerry with a slight smile. "This is really good." "I am glad you like it, Nate." "How is Ashley?" "She is amazing. I played some action movie in the living room to cover for you at least a little bit, and then she asked if we could watch it together." Nate and I said in sync: "You watched an action movie?" / "Ashley watched an action movie?" We looked at each other. Obviously, none of us expected any of them to watch this genre. "You two weren't very subtle. So I tried to find something with as much noise as possible." I smirked at Nate, I expected him to be tense, but he also smirked at me. "Anyway, we talked, and she is great. I love her! I have known her for only a few hours, and I would invite her to my wedding if I had one. We talked about homosexuality, and Rick is much more complex for her." he then looked at Nate. "Is it something you can tell me?" he asked. Jerry was obviously shocked that Nate wouldn't pry. "Not sure. I think most of that you probably know, and those few things she told me not to tell you aren't my to say anyway." "I appreciate that you respect the trust she has in you," Nate said, and it was clear he meant it. "Damn... Rick, keep this man." Jerry looked at me. "He kind of is kept already," I said, feeling a bit down. "Right." Jerry now seemed a bit uncomfortable.
"So this was your room?" Jerry asked, looking around. "Yes." the both of us said in unison. "You two are hilarious!" Jerry laughed, and we had to laugh too. "It was my room. Nate had his man cave here, I suppose." Jerry raised his eyebrows with a questioning look. "No, Richard, this was my room." Nate looked at me. "Sure, but I meant the one you slept in was over there." I pointed in the direction of Ashley's room. Nate looked at me meaningfully. "You didn't sleep in the same room as Ash?" "No, Richard. This was my room before you arrived. Didn't you see the amount of stuff I took from here?" "I thought it was like your man cave, playroom, maybe office." "With my clothes, books, and a king-size bed?" "I thought Ash took over the closet in your bedroom. She always had an abundance of them." "That she does, But I had my clothes here because this was my room." With everything I knew by now, it made sense, and honestly, it made me really happy for some reason. "You think I would have a bed in my playroom? Couch would be wiser for that." "I thought you just reused my old bed." He laughed. "Richard, you didn't have a king-size bed. That was one of those things I changed, of course." "Really? And where is my bed?" "Down in the basement. Ashley refused to throw it out, as with everything you left here. So everything is packed safely, marked, and stored downstairs." "I assumed she just thrown it away or burned or sold it... Really?" "Richard. She loves you. She would never throw anything of yours away." "Damn." I shook my head, trying to collect myself. It made me really emotional for some reason. I already made my peace that all my childhood memories are only in my head as the rest is destroyed. I never even cared for it, but now that I knew she kept all of it, and I can access it... I was grateful.
"Does Rick know why you had separate rooms?" "Yeah, he does. Did Ashley tell you?" "Yes, she doesn't like the term asexual, but she agreed that it probably fits her best." "What everything did you talk about?" "Guys, you have been here for quite a while." Jerry winked at us. There was something on Jerry's mind. He kept looking at Nate like he wasn't sure what everything I knew or didn't know, and Nate saw it on him as well. "Whatever you dying to ask, do it." "Maybe we should talk just the two of us." "Right. You can say it. I've been trying to do it for the past few days." "What's going on?" I asked them. "I don't think it's my place to say." "As is neither of those you already did, yet maybe you are just the right nudge we needed." Nate looked somehow weak now. "Still, I believe you two should talk about that without the audience. So I will go down to Ashley. You can join us when you feel like it." "Thank you, Jerry." "I thank you, Nate. And good luck." He left, and I turned to Nate, who was finishing his meal. He looked so solemn somehow. Should I ask? Should I wait? What's going on?
I decided to wait and took his bowl with mine when he finished. I took them to the tray on my desk when I heard him behind me. "Ashley is pregnant." My whole world collapsed. At that moment, I forgot how one does breathe, and I had to sit down on the chair Jerry had just left empty. I would spew dozens of profanities, but I just froze, speechless, tears filling my eyes. I sat there like that when I felt Nate's hand on my shoulder. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how." "Don't touch me, Nate." "Richard..." "No. Really. Now just... Don't..." I put my face in my palms, shaking as tears fell, and I felt like I was falling into a black hole. I heard him kneel next to my legs. I could kick him, but I wasn't even angry enough for that. I was just so hurt that I felt like I could die at that moment. "Why haven't you told me?" "I wanted to, but at first, I didn't even know how I felt about you. Then I fell into this so hard I was afraid it would stop, and then I tried, knowing I needed to tell you, but I didn't know how. Everything was happening all at once, and hours became days, and I still haven't figured out the right time for it."
I remembered Ashley's words from the first day I came. She said they are trying to have a child. I disregarded it like everything she said then, and after finding out they were asexual, this motion was absolutely nonexistent for me. "Why? How?" "We always wanted to have children." "Haven't you said you don't sleep together?" "No. I said we don't like it. We only did it when Ashley ovulated. Just for this purpose." I remembered that I came here Friday. He was here in the afternoon. He's the kind of person working Saturdays. Why else would he be home from work Friday afternoon? I asked him that. He just quietly said, "Yes." I felt sick. "It was just a mechanical thing. I feel more for Ashley when I talk to her than when we were having sex, Richard, I swear." "Nathaniel, don't you fucking try to lighten your breeding with my sister while sleeping with me." "I am not sleeping with both of you. I will not be sleeping with Ashley anymore." "Right, you will only be raising your child together."
I sank into my desperation. What the fuck?! Could I get a fucking break? This whole thing is so heavy, and ever since we first kissed, my entire life just became one colossal mess! "Look, I may love sex. Yeah, I fucked around with loads of men, and I enjoyed my share of no-emotion-attached hookups, but for fucks sake, I have feelings too. And I sure used to have standards. Get the fuck out now." "Richard, don't deal with this alone. Please, let's talk about it." One hideous idea popped into my head. One I didn't even want to ask, yet at the same time, I felt more bitter than ever. "Do you remember when you asked me to stay after I told you it would be best if I left?" "Yes." "Did you know back then that she was pregnant?" "Yes." "Fuck.. did you then want to stay with Ashley so you can have a child and keep me here because you wanted to be sleeping with me?" He was silent. I looked at him. He looked worried, sad, and on the verge of crying. He nodded. Tears fell from my eyes, and everything was blurry. "Please go out," I asked him, crying. "Now!" I repeated when he tried to say something. I turned away and tried to calm down.
His hands touched my back. "Please, Richard, don't hate me. I care for you more than anyone ever." I remained silent, and he left.
As you surely know by now, I have Patreon, https://www.patreon.com/i_dusk
where this book is already finished, and I will slowly write Nate's POV.
The next chapter is here if you can't wait. Chapter 26 - There is only so much one can handle - https://www.patreon.com/posts/husband-of-my-26-75256145
Have a great day!
I.D.