So , this one could really be called "How taylor became my husband," or "How NOT to plan a wedding, " or... GEEZ, there are so many different headings that would work. When I proposed, I had a very simple ceremony in mind: our apartment, a minister, Jake and anthony - oh yes, and Gary (more on that below), the dogs, maybe a dinner at Carla's afterward, the end.
Nope. taylor had been waiting on this for a while. One night, when I was sitting on the sofa, catching up on journal articles he came out, parked himself at my feet and handed me a list. "Sir, I tried to keep my half of the guest list short, but I couldn't get it below 50 people." Then he gave me the puppy dog eyes. "FIFTY PEOPLE? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU KNEW FIFTY PEOPLE." "Well, they won't all come Sir, and... some of them, honestly, I just want to rub their noses in it. You'll see, that I included Master Frederick and his boy.... see what I mean.." Master Frederick and his boy DID come. So did the 76 other people we invited. There were times during the ceremony when I said "I don't know who that is, taylor, do you?" and he'd answer "I was about to ask you the same thing." Carla WAS very gracious. She closed the restaurant so we could have the wedding feast there, she had Richard and davey's handsome son Mike taking care of drinks (she had told us that if anyone put a hand on Mike, his husband Paul would probably not be pleased), and prepared a feast that exceeded anything anyone could have imagined. She even set up a small table for "the girls" as we were calling them.
Getting to that point. Why people have more than one of these....
"Sir, you know we have to start planning the first dance." "THE WHAT?" My boy began to laugh. "The first DANCE Sir. It's traditional. At the reception: the married couple dances, then they bring people in from the audience, and then everyone dances. We have to pick the music, the dance... and there isn't that much time (we had set a date 6 months in the future). Well, I remember a porn star who gave an interview once after a crappy performance on Robin Byrd (remember HER?). He said "I don't dance. I FUCK." I felt the same way. taylor could be very stubborn, and we were dancing. I took a deep breath. "Ok, what music do you want." He gave me a big smile and sat right on my lap. "You're such a great Daddy, Sir. You proposed to me with that Bruno Mars song. It'll be easy to dance to. anthony is a good dancer. He agreed to teach us." Why did I feel like there were forces in the background, taking control of my life? Probably because there were. So, once a week, anthony would come over to teach us this dance which taylor picked up right away. I always felt like someone had tied my shoelaces together when I tried to dance. anthony was a saint. Jake, on the other hand, when he came over, would take pictures for what he called his "blackmail book" when he wasn't laughing like a banshee. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: he's a CUNT. But I learned. It took a while, and I learned. taylor had lists: a list of who was doing what, a list of what food was being served, a list of where our wedding suits were . And he had a list of his lists. WHERE was he when I started teaching? Everyone needs a good sub who has a flair for organizing things.
One Saturday morning, after we had made love, and I was playing with taylor's nipple, I said "Hey, don't we need to have best men." I saw taylor's face: it looked like he had just taken the medicine Bella was taking (she had been eating a few too many things she shouldn't have on the street. We REALLY had to start doing something after the day she ate the blunt, but that's another story). "OH SHIT. I COMPLETELY FORGOT." I laughed, rolled on top of him, and pinned his wrists down. "Well..." I kissed him. "Daddy isn't completely in a fog." I kissed him again. "No law says there can only be two best men, so.." one more kiss. "How about Jake, anthony, and Gary, because he's the one who brought us together." I saw taylor's eyes fill. "Sir. That is SUCH a great idea. OH, I hope he says yes. " I snickered. I knew he would do it. taylor's not the only one in the family who can be a sneak (although I'm nowhere NEAR as good as Blossom. I can't tell you how many pair of socks became single since she came into our lives).
I would be lying if I told you I didn't get more nervous as the day got closer. I felt like there was a hive of bees, or a cluster of butterflies in my stomach. I did my best to fulfill my "husband duties" with my soon to be spouse, but I was failing there. Lots more cuddling, lots less sex. That changed. It changed on the eve of the wedding. Everything was set up, and all we had to do the next day was get gussied up, and get to the church. (Yes, it WAS in a church. That's coming). We took the dogs out for their evening walk, as we always did, walking hand in hand. We were both awfully quiet. Then taylor said "Hey, Sir? Do you realize that tomorrow night, when we walk the girls, we'll be walking as husband and husband, not as lovers?" I stopped so short that Bella yelped. "OH SHIT. You're right. My.... husband." taylor was the one who cried more easily. Not that night. I just started to bawl. As I hugged him he whispered "you don't cry much Sir, but when you do... you're always supercharged in bed... Fuck me HARD Sir. Make me be glad I'm not sitting down tomorrow." Well, if I do say so myself I performed admirably. taylor seemed to think so. He tried to scream out a few times, but of course, what can you do when you have your spouse's jock strap shoved in your mouth?" Some years ago, when Jake was on a panel about modern physics and spirituality, he had met this wonderful minister: a big, tall lady from the midwest: Fani Erickkson. He put us in touch. "Rev E" as she liked to be called, was more than happy to do it at her church. taylor and I did "pre-nup" counseling with her - taylor wanted to bring the dogs, and I said no. He brought that up at one of the meetings and Rev E said "I LOVE DOGS. I HOPE THEY"RE COMING."
Then, it was the day. It was fall: mid October. It turned out to be one of the last "golden days" of the autumn and it was gorgeous. taylor had gone to Jake and anthony's to dress: he didn't want me to see him until the church. anthony was helping him and Jake came over to help me. I needed the help. "Jake, I CANNOT believe I'm doing this." He laughed. "Sweetheart, if I could do it, YOU can do it. You have to. You held out the longest from the group. It's time. And he's right for you. You won't find better." When Jake walked me to the church, and when I met taylor in the back, smiling, holding back tears, his chest puffed out, I let out a deep breath - it may have been the first time I breathed in three days. "WOW. taylor. JUST FUCKING WOW." "Sir, it's bad luck to kiss in the church before the wedding so... I think you better get the piece under control." Yup, I had popped. "If you drip, everyone's gonna see the stain." We were wearing gray pin striped suits. As the music started and we paired up to start walking down the aisle, he leaned over. "Do you want me to walk with my hands behind my back Sir?" I shot back. "Do that, and it'll be six months before you feel my cock in you boy." "Then just... let me curl my arm in.. here." And down we walked. I don't think I can recall any of the words I said that day: I DO know that when taylor said "to honor and obey" anthony started smirking. So did Gary. There was a bit of a ruckus, as Frederick and his boy stomped out in a huff. (I found out later that they were fighting because the boy wanted to know when he was gonna get one of these, and Frederick suggested he contact me. The boy had answered "Maybe I will."). But the words were said, and then.. the kiss. I will NEVER kiss anyone, taylor included, the way I kissed him that day. I remember how soft his lips felt, and how, in that moment, as I was holding him, it seemed that years of tension had just left his body. I never asked him if he felt that way about me. And he DID steal the show. After we had exchanged rings, and kissed. He smiled, held up his hand and said in a loud voice. "MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" Tension broken.
The dance? Oi. The dance. I didn't have two left feet, I had five. But we got through a few beats of the music before we separated, and brought in the best men for a group dance. Then we started calling in the rest of the guests. It wasn't long before we were both down to shirt sleeves, tieless, and sweaty.
We were still at the restaurant, it was past the girls' potty time, and we went out for a walk, just the two of us and the girls. "Hold that thought" taylor said, smiling. "marriages have to be consummated Sir." I looked at him. "You wanna sneak away?" "I was hoping you'd suggest that Sir" We did. Jake and anthony teased us about it relentlessly for about six months, but we got into a cab, I slid my hand down taylor's shirt, and by the time we got out of the elevator into our apartment, I had him mostly undressed, my tongue deep down his throat. He wrapped his legs around me as I carried him into the bedroom, and I fucked him hard, again. This was one where the neighbors when they saw me congratulated me on my marriage. I asked them how they knew. "We heard" one of them said.
So, where did we go? What did we do on the honeymoon? It might surprise you. taylor had gotten very involved in genealogy. His family may have rejected him, but he still wanted to know. He found that he was part Hungarian, part German, and part Czech. Central Europe, here we come. I could speak a little German, and that got us through ONE country. The eye opener, was Hungary. Yup, taylor was DEFINITELY part Hungarian. He resembled every third man we passed. I teased him by telling him "GOD. I should send you home and stay here. I could have a different hot guy every night." "None of them give head the way I do Sir. I can tell?" He stuck out his tongue to tease me. At the hotel room, he didn't get to tease anymore. He had WORK to do, and he did it.
And so, I guess we're still newlyweds, since it's been less than a year. We go and visit Gary's bar every month or so. I still marvel at how that all happened. Had I left ten minutes earlier, had I called my bud and told him I was busy... My cliched lesson after all of that: life'll bite you in the ass. Be ready.
And there we go gentle readers. We're going to say good bye to Charlie and taylor now. I hope that if you're looking for your Charlie or your taylor, you find him. Take the scenic route. You never know what you'll find.
Until next time... RT