Dear Readers,
Thanks for taking the time to visit. I hope you enjoy reading. This is still in progress, in between school and work.
-- Alex
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How Long the Pandemic, Chapter 1
March 13, 2020 -- Exactly One Year Ago
It started off like any plans for spring break: let's go someplace fun. We'll drink, get high, blow off steam... the usual, right?
So we made our plans, my friends and I. One of us is from a pretty wealthy background (definitely not my family) and his family owns an enormous house up in the mountains. We -- 8 of us -- decided we'd all go there, spend a week skiing, probably invite some other people to a few parties and then they could crash there (it's a long way from most other spring break destinations around the state).
On Friday, we loaded up two cars (a nearly-new Yukon Denali and 20-year-old Expedition, for the car lovers out there). We left just after noon, and thought we'd be in for a trek. But the drive went by pretty quickly because we were having fun; even with traffic, stopping to eat, refueling, and driving slowly because of snow on some roads, we were in Telluride by about 8pm. We listened to every kind of music, from Motown to disco to pop to hip hop, and we were not embarrassed to sing along when we knew the words.
My friend Jake owns the house -- or rather, his parents do. And this place is enormous. He'd told us before that it was a big house (and he's the one with the brand-new GMC), but it was still a surprise. It was an incredible mountain lodge -- mountain mansion, really -- over 15,000 square feet of space, with two kitchens, gigantic living room and dining room, gym, sauna, theater, game room, pool, and two hot tubs. Plus ten bedrooms. We wouldn't even fill them all!
I use more names below, but I've changed them to protect the not-so-innocent. Honestly, if someone I know is reading this, they're going to figure it out pretty quickly.
As I said, there were eight of us. We've all been friends since our first year of college (some of us even longer because we went to high school together). All eight of us were in the same dorm -- same floor, actually -- because we were all on scholarships, some athletic, some academic, some both. At least that's what we assume; maybe it was random and just worked out this way. Anyway, we all became pretty close and have stayed that way since. I live with three of them now, actually, all football players.
I should say I'm a little bit of the odd man out in this group. And I'm serious about that "little" thing. Everyone else plays football, basketball, runs track, or swims. I am a gymnast. And if you've ever compared a gymnast to a basketball player, the first difference you'd probably notice is height. You'd be correct. At least in this instance... while everyone else in this Group of 8 is at least 6'1", I am barely 5'2". But I can hold my own: in workouts, pick-up games like soccer and baseball, all of it, I am probably center of the pack across the board. I rarely win anything, but I rarely lose (I'm never going to dunk a ball nor run faster than a track star, but I'm plenty quick enough on my feet and definitely the only one who can do an iron cross).
There's Jake, who I just mentioned. He's about 6'4" and plays basketball. He and Matt are roommates in a nice apartment back at school. Matt also plays basketball and he is the tallest of my friends at 6'6". Then there are Dylan and Josh. Dylan swims, and clocks in about 6'3". He and Josh (track, 6'1" or 6'2") live in a small house off campus with two girls they went to high school with.
Then there are my roommates, the football players. There's Tony (6'3"), Mike (6'4"), and Brian (6'4"). The four of us also went to high school together, although I was only really friends with Mike before the four of us found ourselves in the same dorm first year. Then we moved into an old house closer to school, which is expensive but also really nice. Since Mike is the only one of us with a car, it's nice to be closer so I can walk or ride my bike.
Anyway, we arrived and started unloading everything. We had tons of food -- we brought most of the stuff we needed with us -- literally thousands of dollars of food and drink. It was much cheaper for us to have gone to a big box store before we came down than to buy everything up in the mountains. It took a little while, then we all went to find our respective rooms. Most of us were along one hallway on the ground floor, but some were on the third floor. None of us had to use the bunk room or the master (I saw it, and it's like its own house, but my friend didn't want anyone using his parents' bedroom, which is fair).
After getting my stuff put away, I went back up to the main kitchen (the fact that there's more than one kitchen in this house blows my mind). We all snacked, by which I mean we ate a few of the frozen pizzas we brought with us and had a few beers. Although it was 28 degrees out, Jake, Mike, Dylan, and I then went outside to relax in one of the hot tubs. Jake and Mike were certainly tired after driving us down there, but Dylan and I just wanted to get in the water. In one direction, we could see the snow-covered mountains, and in the other, we saw the other guys inside playing pool. It was really relaxing.
We didn't stay in the hot tub for long after we saw the other guys leave the pool table. I remember seeing the clock in my room right before I hopped in the shower to rinse the chlorine and eight hours of travel off of me. I threw on some boxers, but that was it, and went looking for everyone else. I feel like I was walking around for half an hour, but eventually I found everyone but Mike in front of the gigantic fireplace and television in the enormous "entertainment room" over the garage. They were all playing Murder Trivia (it's really fun!).
I came in at the end of the game, so I wasn't playing with the other six of them. Unfortunately, I couldn't join in the middle, but I would definitely jump in on the next game.
They continued playing for another five minutes or so, when the game wrapped up. Matt had lost, and then stood up and took off his sweatshirt. We all whooped and hollered when he did this, as though it was a strip tease, and he sort of danced around.
"I didn't realize this was `Strip' Murder Trivia," I said after things calmed down.
"It wasn't, but it is now," Brian added. They ribbed me for a few minutes since I was only in boxers, but I told them I wasn't worried. I have a 4.0, and I'm pretty good at Jeopardy, and having played Murder Trivia before, I knew how this worked.
I might have been a little cocky about it. "Yeah, we can play all night, and I bet I'm still the only one standing in the morning!" But it was all in good fun.
And it started off pretty good... I got the first question correct. But then I missed the second, and then lost a duel to someone else. And then I missed a few more questions.
Every time, the guys got louder and louder, telling me I should kept my mouth shut. I was getting mildly worried, but then rebounded. Going into the last round, I was in third place -- plenty of room between me and last place (Matt again). So at the current standing, I was in no danger. However, if you'd played this game before, you know that anyone can win -- and therefore lose -- this game.
My phone started reacting really slowly. "NO! GO, YOU FUCKER!" I started shouting.
The guys were falling over laughing as my avatar failed to move and the others all overtook me. First one to fall. The loser of the game.
"A'ight," Tony said, "let's have `em." And he snapped his fingers at me.
"No, no, wait!," Jake said, as I reluctantly put my thumbs in my waistband. "Let's get some music so you can really do this right."
"For like, what, ten seconds?" I sarcastically asked.
"However long it takes, yeah," he said, scrolling through his phone. I heard a beep as he connected his phone to the house speakers (seriously, this house!), and Bootylicious -- which I know backwards and forwards (it'd even been on our playlist on the drive up, twice) -- started playing from the ceiling at a loud volume.
"WOOOOO! YEAHHHHH!" the guys shouted and clapped.
What's a guy to do, right?
So I moved over towards the fireplace under the tv, shaking my ass and moving around. I won't say I'm the best dancer, but since I'm a gymnast, I can move my body to a beat, and in a lot of surprising ways. And I did just, drawing it out as long as I could. First verse, just me dancing and twerking. Second verse, same as the first, with a flip, a split, up to the chorus. In that chorus, handstand, walking myself over to the fireplace and using the mantle as a brace to twerk upside down. And then the third verse, I turned my back, twerking through half of it until "over my shoulder, I blow you a kiss" (which I did), and started to lower my boxers.
I took my time through the first half of the chorus to get them down and kicked them up and caught them at the first "`Cause my body too bootylicious for you babe," and turned, holding my boxers in front of my cock and balls, and dance the rest of the verse. The guys hollered and clapped.
"Move your body up and down / Make your booty touch the ground" -- I leaned back with one hand and quickly pushed myself back up, then swapped hands and did it again, keeping myself covered through that verse. The guys roared with approval. In the fifth verse, I turned to the side. "I shake my jelly at every chance / When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance," and ran my hand down my side as I shook my hips.
The bridge? Right at the start, I threw my boxers at Tony, and the guys screamed and applauded. I but kept one hand in place though, holding onto my dignity (such as it was!) for just a bit longer. As DC sang "pow pow pow pow," I turned around again, and went into a deep twerk, one hand on my knee, the other still holding my junk so it didn't flop around too much. The guys absolutely roared, and after the first half of the chorus, I threw my hands up and started gyrating as I turned around, totally naked, totally exposed, but totally rolling with it. And my friends loved it! They went nuts and jumped up for the last repeat of verses and danced, too.
When the song ended, we actually high-fived. It was awesome.
But the song was over, and I was naked. Not that it was a big deal. We had all been on the same hall our first year, we worked out together, and I lived with three of them -- this wasn't the first time they'd seen me naked. And I'd seen them naked several times, too. No big deal, really, although this was a completely new context.
About a minute afterwards, the clock struck midnight. Did I turn into a pumpkin? No... it was clearly not the end of the night. After my dance interlude / strip act, we got back into Murder Trivia.
I plopped down back in the chair I'd been sitting in, sideways with my legs over the armrest, and we started a new game. And I was just not paying attention. There was too much goofing off and joking (good natured, but at my expense) for me to concentrate, so I lost again.
"What now?" I said.
"We'll think of something. Just stay exactly how you are," Jake said.
We started another game, and I was doing just fine. With everyone still clothed, it was highly unlikely anyone else would be performing that night. It was also getting late, so when that game ended, Dylan called it a night.
"I'm heading to bed," he said. And, as often happens when one person is ready to head to bed, everyone else started to get up, too.
I reached out to Tony for my boxers, but he refused. "You lost these, man. Sorry," and chuckled. So I walked though this enormous house with the guys as we went back to our rooms. A few of them took off their shirts, but I was still completely naked.
They peeled off as they got to their rooms, so it was only Tony, Josh, Dylan, and me as we got to the last few rooms in our "wing" of the house. I told them all goodnight as I went into my room and shut the door. I brushed my teeth, then pulled the covers back.
I hadn't really thought about it, but I probably would have slept naked anyway. The bed was super comfortable with a lot of covers on it. I had my own fireplace, too, if I needed it. So I just shut off the lights and crawled between the sheets.
The plan for the next day was to go skiing after lunch, and I was very excited about that. All of us had been skiing or snowboarding together many times, and we're all, honestly, pretty good. It was going to be an excellent day on the mountain -- one I'd never been to before, too -- so it's a wonder I ever fell asleep; it was like the night before a trip to Disneyland. But as I said, that bed was really comfortable and I was out in no time.
How Long the Pandemic, Chapter 2
March 14, 2020
I woke up and just lounged in the bed. It wasn't all that late, maybe 8:30am or so, and I lay there for about a half hour. Then I heard a knock at the door, and said to come in. It was Tony.
"You want breakfast?" he asked.
I said I did and started to pull the covers back. He said, "Oh good, you're still naked. Come on, just like that."
"Nah, let me grab something," I said, climbing out of bed.
"No, don't. It'll be funny," he said. And I agreed. After all, they'd said last night to just stay naked, so it would be funny.
I got up, washed my face and used the bathroom (and made sure I was nice and clean since I was stark naked) and went down the hall. The kitchen on my floor (next to the area with the pool table) was empty, so I went upstairs.
I heard everyone else as I got to the top of the stairs, and walked through the great room to the main kitchen. As I walked in, Brian immediately started applauding, drawing attention to me. I greeted everyone and waved, then shook back and forth, dick flopping left and right.
Mike, who had gone to bed the night before, was confused. "What the fuck? Why are you naked, Alex?"
Tony said, "Oh, he lost last night. Twice actually. So he has to stay naked now."
"Yep, the whole time we're up here," Jake added.
"What? I don't think so," I said. "I didn't agree to that."
"You sure did. You lost and Jake told you to stay naked," Brian said.
"For the game, maybe, but not the whole time we're up here!" I protested.
"Why not? It's plenty warm in here. We've all seen it," Tony said. There was a long pause before he added, "C'mon, have some breakfast and then we'll all get dressed and head to the mountain."
Alright, I though, they are just kidding since Tony just said we'll get dressed and go to the mountain. Nevertheless, I felt really exposed, since all eyes were on me and this didn't feel all that fun at the moment, so I sort of hid myself behind the counter (only Dylan was back there also pouring himself some cereal). I got my bowl ready and then quickly walked to the table and pulled myself up to the table.
Talk changed, and I definitely relaxed. We all brought up the mountain map on our phones and planned out the trails we wanted to hit. We agreed to stick together and just do easy stuff today, since it was our first day and only Jake knew the mountain.
Tony, Brian, Matt, and Josh all got up to leave the table, while the rest of us finished our breakfasts. Tony, Brian, and Matt walked around the big fireplace that separated the kitchen from the great room, and Josh went downstairs.
About ten minutes went by and Josh came upstairs in all of his gear. He was totally ready, headed into the great room where Tony, Brian, and Matt were.
"I guess the rest of us better go get ready, too," Jake said.
I got up, put my bowl in one of the two(!) dishwashers and started to head for the stairs. Brian, Matt, and Tony were all transfixed on the tv, but Josh said, "Guys, listen to this," and he gestured to the tv. "Matt, turn it up."
We all walked over, and the governor was on tv telling everyone about Covid restrictions. Basically, ski resorts were now closed for the next week.
"Fuck," Dylan said, "there goes our spring break."
"It's not so bad," Mike said, "We're all up here already so we might as well enjoy it."
"Yeah," I added. "This place has everything! We've got a pool, hot tubs, pool table, gym, theater, gaming system... who could ask for more?"
"Yeah... I just really wanted to ski," Dylan said.
We all agreed with that sentiment, but still, we were in a sweet mountain house -- palace -- and we weren't in any danger. We were, however, going to need more food. Jake volunteered to go to town to get stuff from the grocery store, and quickly opened up his phone to start making a list. Tony and Brian called out a few things as they headed downstairs to get their phones.
The rest of us all named things we could make. Just a few things, but enough for lunches for the week. We added some wish list things, too -- if we weren't going to be eating on the mountain, we wanted a few treats for ourselves in addition to necessities.
We had a small argument where we all tried give Jake some money, but he refused. It'd be easier after he got back, he said, because then we'd have the receipt and people could pay exactly what they owed. I finished off my shortlist, then headed for the stairs. We might not be going skiing or snowboarding, but I was going to go get dressed and brush my teeth.
I walked downstairs, and as I passed Tony's room, I heard him and Brian laughing. I stuck my head in, keeping my naked body around the corner (maybe it was instinct?). I said that Jake might be leaving soon, so if there was anything special, they should probably go tell him. They went off back upstairs, Tony slapping my ass as he walked by. "Hey! None of that, thank you!" and I continued down the hall to my room. I just went and brushed my teeth, then heard my phone chime.
It was a text from my mom, asking if we were safe. I said we were, but bummed that we couldn't go skiing. I sat down on the bed and chatted with her for a few minutes and asked about my dad and my brother and sister. I imagined I texted for about ten minutes before thinking, alright, it's time to get dressed.
I hopped down off the bed and went over to the dresser where I'd put everything away last night. Probably just wear pajamas all day, I thought to myself.
But the drawers were empty. I thought maybe I forgot, or misremembered putting my stuff away, because I was really tired last night. So I went to the closet where I'd thrown my bag. That wasn't in there either. I looked under the bed, in all the bathroom drawers, but my stuff wasn't there. All of it was gone, including my ski gear.
I stormed out of my room, marched down the hall, through the game room, and stomped up the stairs to the great room where everyone was still giving Jake their lists.
"Alright, where are they?" I demanded, holding my dick and my balls in one hand. I felt really self-consciously naked, so I was hiding myself as best I could.
"Where are what?" Mike said. Tony and Brian snickered.
"My clothes. What'd you do with them? Tone, Brian, where are they?"
"Don't worry about it," Tony said.
"I'm not WORRIED, I'm pissed. Where is my stuff?"
"It's all safe," he said, and I turned to go back downstairs. I'd barely taken a step when he added, "And you won't find them, so don't bother looking. Just enjoy yourself."
I argued for a few minutes until it was obvious this wasn't going anywhere. I just sort of grunted and stomped back downstairs. When I got to my room, I closed the door and locked it behind me. Who the fuck do they think they are, I thought. It's my stuff, and this isn't a game. Yeah, we're still in the house, but I hadn't agree to spend the whole week stark naked. It was funny the night before, it was funny at breakfast, and it might have been funny after getting back from a day boarding, but it wasn't funny now.
I was down there for a solid hour before I heard a light knock on the door.
"Who's there?" I called out.
"It's Tony. Open up, man,"
"Do you have my stuff?" I asked.
Silence.
"Open the door man."
"Do you. Have. My stuff?"
"No, bu--"
"Go away," I told him.
"Come on, man."
"Go away, please. Come back when you have my clothes." It sounded like he walked off.
A few minutes went by and then I hopped up from the bed. I crept over to the door. I unlocked it and slowly opened it up. The hallway was empty, so I closed and locked it again.
It was nearly lunchtime when my phone beeped. I opened up a text from Brian, asking me if I was okay. I responded back just one word. "Fine."
A few minutes passed and then another text: "Do you want some lunch?"
"I want my clothes back," I sent.
"Well, we're making lunch, so you should come and have some," Brian responded.
I didn't respond.
But I was starting to get hungry. I'd had cereal, but that was it. I could really go for a sandwich, or soup, or... honestly, anything.
I texted Mike, and asked him if he could bring me something. He said someone would bring me a sandwich, and I thanked him. A few minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I got up off the bed, walked over, and unlocked it. I cracked it open, and saw a sandwich on a place, lying on the floor. I opened the door up all the way and bent down to pick it up.
Big mistake! I was immediately accosted and picked up off the ground. Brian had me over his shoulder and was carrying me back upstairs. Toni, having picked up the plate, taunted me the whole way. We were practically shouting at each other by the time we got to the great room and Brian tossed me onto the couch.
I grabbed a pillow and covered myself. I was hungry and angry -- hangry -- and embarrassed. I was hangrambarrassed.
I was making such a scene that everyone was staring, but Tony and Brian were giving me a hard time, telling me it was just good fun, and not like they hadn't seen it before, and I didn't have a problem with it the night before... literally a ton of manipulation but I got sick of fighting them as everyone else sort of joined in. It was all mostly good natured, and these guys are my friends, so I started to relax again.
By the end of it, we were all laughing and I said, "Fine, I'll stay naked. You guys get to look at this all week" and I stood up and did a "Greek statue" kind of pose.
I was back in good spirits, honestly, and felt even better after I ate.
So there I was, the only one naked, and now committed to it for the week.
To be continued...