Legal disclaimer: this is fiction. I'm not implying anything about the NSync-members' sexuality or personal lives. I do not know them personally. (Although I do wish! ;->) If it's illegal for you in any way to read this, then don't continue.
Author's note: chapter two...hope you're enjoyng my story. Thanks to the people that gave me feedback. Will try and mail you all back personally. Thanks! My mail adress is still storykath@operamail.com
Chapter two: Even how bad and guilty he was feeling, Chris knew he had to talk to the others about Joey. Too much time had gone since Joey had ran away, and Chris had no idea where he was.
He mentally kicked himself for not believing in Joey. Had he ever lied to him before? Had he ever done anything to hurt anyone before? Chris felt like a total creep for taking a person he hadn't seen or talked to in ages' words over his best friend's.
Worry was starting to mix in with his other emotions. That look on Joey's face as Chris had come closer to him, it had been fear. -Some psychologist you turned out to be, Chris thought bitterly to himself. -Some friend you turned out to be... You wouldn't believe Joey `cos it meant dealing with the guilt you've been carrying around after seeing how unhappy Joey were with Jim, and for treating him like shit when he finally got out. He ran his hand through his dark hair. -If I ever see Jim again, I swear to God I'll kill him with my bare hands.
Lance entered the room, but stopped as he saw the expression on Chris' face. -Whoa! he said, -whoever's caused that look, is sooo dead! Chris stared hard at him, making Lance feel a little unsure. Then Chris sighed. -Get the others, Lance, we need to talk. Lance knew something serious was up and got JC and Justin. -I couldn't find Joey, he said as he came back. -I know, Chris told him. -He's the reason that we need to talk.
-What's wrong? JC said, -is Joey OK? -I don't know, Chris had to admit. -He stormed out of here this morning and I haven't seen him since. Before Chris, or anybody, could say anything else, JC was on his feet. -He has been gone since this morning and now you tell us!?! What the hell did you do to him, Chris? And don't think I haven't noticed the lousy way you've been treating him lately. Ashamed Chris couldn't answer. JC looked furious, which he was. Without another word, he grabbed his jacket and was gone.
-What's going on here? Justin asked Chris. The youngest member of the group hated arguing and looked as he were on the verge of tears. Lance gave him a quick hug. -It'll be OK, curly, he reassured him. Looking at them, Chris hoped so bad that Lance was right. But something told him that it wouldn't be OK, not even close. He realized that both Lance and Justin were waiting for his reply. -Something happened to Joey for about a year ago, he started. -Something bad.
You both remember Jim? he looked at them again. -Yes, Justin simply said. Lance wrinkled his brows. -The guy with the attitude? Yeah, I remember him. -Attitude? Chris asked puzzled. -He acted like he owned Joey, I kinda guessed that they were a couple, Lance explained, his look clearly gave away that he hadn't been all too fond of Jim. -If any of us got close to Joey, Jim would freak. He was SO not good for our Joey. Lance wasn't just protective of Justin, he would kick whoever that messed with his friends' ass.
Lance looked into Chris' eyes, scared over the hurt he found there. -Oh my God, he silently said, -what exactly did he do to Joey? Chris told them what Joey had confided in him with. Justin was angry. -How could you not believe him? he yelled at Chris, now the tears were streaming down his cheeks.
At that point Chris felt his own tears starting to spill. -I don't know! he answered. -I guess I didn't want to, Jim was my friend, remember? -Joey is your friend too, Lance said softly, but with a new egde in his voice. -I didn't want to believe him, `cos I hate myself for letting that happen to him, OK? Chris were practically screaming. -I was the one that got them together, and at first Joey seemed to be so happy about him and Jim. Then he started to change and I could see that he was miserable, but Jim kept telling me that everything was fine. By the time Joey left him, I had managed to make myself believe in Jim's lies.
-But why didn't he tell any of us? Justin asked. -We'd help him, none of us would let anybody hurt him. -Jim never let us near him, Lance said, turning to look at Chris again. -And I think Joey was too afraid or too ashamed to tell us. -You're right, Chris sighed, -about both. Lance had a worried look in his eyes. -Well, at least he's free from Jim now. -No, he`s not, Chris said slowly, approaching the subject that scared him the most. -Joey is not at all free from Jim.
He continued, feeling his mind slip into therapist-mode. -Being in an abusive relationship really messes with your mind. Most victims start to believe what the abusive part tells them, they actually start to believe that they are worthless and deserve being physically and mentally abused. And like in Joey's case, it didn't stop with the beatings. Rape is actually very common in these kinds of relationship even though many victims convinces themselves that it wasn't rapes, that they somehow consented.
-Good Lord, Lance whispered. -tell me he's not still there, that he's not still believing what that asshole told him? -I'm afraid he is, Chris got out, -and I think I may have made it a whole lot worse too. He started acting strange, being really submissive and I tried to get close to him. That scared him. I think that was what made him run away.
-Joey actually thought you were going to hurt him? Justin asked, -but that is crazy! -His heart knows I would never lay a hand on him, Chris said, rubbing his cheeks to get the tears away, -but right now his mind is playing tricks on him. A silence fell over the room as the three boys thought over what had been revealed to them. This was about as true a test of friendship as they came.
JC had been driving around for hours. The weather hadn't improved at all, making him even more worried about Joey. He hadn't taken his jacket with him and the temperature was freezing. The rain was falling heavily as it had done all day. In the horizont black clouds were tugging at their restraints, ready to attack the city.
A sweeping wind blew cascades of water at the car's windows, a storm was coming in fast. The sensible thing would be to get home and leave it to the police to find Joey, but JC refused to give up. Neither of them knew the town, so he kept driving to every place he thought Joey would feel safe in. He went through every park he could find, searched every coffeeshop, every place there was a slight hope Joey would be in. Frustrated and scared JC had reached the harbour. Cursing the rain that blurred his sight, he slowed the car down, looking over the now silent area.
His heart gave a slight jump as he saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench near the water. The wawes nearly hit his feet as they threw themselves at the egde of the harbour. JC was out of the car in a heartbeat and rushed over to Joey.
He was about to hug Joey when something held him back. Instead he sat down next to him, gently saying his name. If JC ever had seen someone on the verge of a breakdown, it would be Joey. He was soaked to the bone, his lips turning blue from the cold. His brown eyes were bottomless pits of aching pain, there was no will left, no hope. -Joey, JC tried again. -Please look at me. He reached out a hand and put it on Joey's arm, feeling him grow tense under the simple touch. Slowly JC took his hand away. -Come on, Joe, he said, -let's get you into the car. -No, Joey answered, the first word he had spoken since JC found him. -You'll catch your death out here, JC said, -it's freezing. I'm worried about you, Joey, if anything happens to you, it would kill me. Joey threw a quick glance at him before going back to staring out over the water.
Because of the rain JC couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw tears on Joey's cheeks. Carefully he placed his jacket over Joey's shoulders and put his arms around him. Joey didn't welcome the touch, but JC didn't let go. After a while he could feel Joey relaxing some, leaning into the hug. JC pulled him tighter to him. -It's gonna be OK, he whispered. -Whatever it is, I'll fix it. I'll do anything for you, Joey...
Joey didn't feel anything anymore, he had shut down all his emotions. He had to, he was scared of what would happen if he didn't. But having JC hug him felt good, he allowed himself to be protected for a while. Not long after JC could feel Joey moving a little against him and knew he had to act quickly. -Come on, Joe, he said again, -I'm taking you back to the hotel. This time Joey followed him, JC didn't know what had him the most worried, the expression in Joey's eyes or how cold he was.
Joey let JC put him in the car, and drive him back. He didn't notice JC looking at him, he went back into the safe place in his mind where nobody could reach him. They drove in silence. At the gate of the hotel, Joey felt a twinge of fear. He was back, he had wanted to leave this place behind. No, not the place exactly, but the persons inside it. Now he was scared, more scared than he had been in a long time.
Weakly Joey brushed his hair back, his body felt powerless and tired. Suddenly he felt very sleepy, a beginning headache throbbed lightly at his temples. The world seemed to go distant as JC led him out from the garage into the elevator. JC felt Joey leaning heavily on him and got to his room fast.
Totally out of strength Joey was about to just let himself fall onto the bed, when JC stopped him. -You need to change first, he said, keeping Joey on his feet. -Let's get you some dry clothes... With JC's help Joey got rid of the wet clothes and put on a T-shirt, socks and a pair of cotton sweatpants. -Do you want anything to eat? JC asked, -you haven't eaten anything since breakfast, and that wasn't much either... -I just want to sleep, Joey mumbled, moving for the bed. Once there, he just collapsed.
Without doubting a second JC got into his own room and threw on a set of dry clothes, before going back to Joey's room. On his way there he was stopped by Chris. -I saw your car pulling up, Chris said quickly, -did you find him? It was easy to see that JC was still mad at him. -Yeah, he finally said, -I found him. So what do you want? His words made Chris cringe a bit, but he didn't give up. -JC, there is something I need to tell you about Joey. -I don't think there is, JC answered coldly. -Just stay away, Chris. You're the last person Joey needs to see now, and I'm not too eager to see you either. I'll be with Joey if any of the others need me. Chris was left alone in the hallway.
JC closed the door to Joey's room, then got into bed next to Joey and pulled the covers over them both. Gently he wrapped his arms around Joey trying to give him some of his own warmth. Joey appeared to be in deep sleep, but his bare arms still were cold as ice.
A hundred thoughts raced through JC's mind all at once. What had posessed Joey to take off like that, he must had been sitting on the bench by the harbour for hours. A simple argument with Chris wouldn't have made him do that. Even if Chris had been a total jerk in the last couple a days. There were something really wrong with his friend, and JC intended to fix it.
Absentmindly he was stroking Joey's dark hair that was still damp from the rain. When he had barged out of the hotelroom earlier, the only thing on his mind had been Joey. It still were the only thing on his mind. Lately JC had been thinking of Joey a lot. He still wasn't sure if it was love, but there were some strong feelings there. Just the thought of what could have had happened to Joey all alone, made JC pull Joey tighter, hoping they could stay that way forever.
The time passed on, the storm knocked at the city's door. Low rumbles of thunder growled in the sky, lightning hissed at the windows. The rain still pounded down at the ground mercilessly. In the bed JC had fallen asleep too, still holding on to his friend. The weather could try all it wanted, both boys were away in the arms of deep sleep.
The storm went on for the night. It kept Chris, Lance and Justin up most of the night. Chris had told them that JC had found Joey, but that was all he had told him. JC didn't know the full story, they did. It was one of life's bizarre turns, the one who needed most to know, who had the greatest chance to help Joey, didn't know the crucial information. Those who were kept on the sideline, did.
Sleepy JC opened his eyes, somebody was turning restlessly next to him in the bed. Still a little fuzzyminded JC reached out to put his arms back around Joey, but stopped as he felt his skin being burning hot. Now completely awake, JC sat up. Joey was still sleeping, but moving around, looking like he was dreaming of something unpleasant. His face had a hectic redness, and there were small drops of sweat running down his face. Hesitantly JC put a hand on Joey's forehead, feeling the warmth emerging from the skin under his fingers JC knew that the time Joey had spent in the ice-cold rain hadn't let him off easily.
Carefully JC tried to wake Joey, who now was mumbling in his sleep. It was too low for JC to hear. -Joey, JC said quietly, -wake up, honey... He gently shook his sleeping friend's shoulder, -wake up, Joey. Joey's response scared the hell out of him.
At JC's touch Joey curled up in a ball. -Please, he whimpered, -don't hit me...I'll do anything you want... JC froze in his actions. For a moment he didn't know what to do. -Baby, JC said softly. -I'm not going to hit you, you know I could never do that, don't you? I love you, Joey, I would never hurt you, you mean too much to me... -JC? Joey asked in a small voice, still expecting the worst. -I'm here, baby, JC answered and took the trembling Joey in his arms. -I'm right here and I'm not gonna leave you.
He had revealed his secret to JC. Now JC would be mad at him too. Why did he have to do that, Joey didn't want to loose JC. Then JC's words sank in. -Aren't you mad at me? he asked, resting his head on JC's shoulder. -Of course I'm not mad at you, JC answered, rubbing Joey's back lightly. -Now tell me, did someone treat you bad, baby? JC fought to keep his voice calm, he wanted to take Joey in his arms and never let go, to protect him from everything evil in this world. And he might just do that too.
-It was my fault, Joey's voice was a bit slurred from sleep and the fever. -I made him do it. -It's was not your fault, Joey, JC said, -it was never your fault. Just tell me who he is and I'll make sure he never touches you again. -He's gone now, Joey said, his voice trailing off as he went back to sleep. -Jim is all gone...
Jim...suddenly the whole picture became clearer. Jim had been Chris' friend, Chris had fixed him up with Joey. Joey had told him what Jim had done to him. Chris had not taken it very well. It all made sense. And JC were still going to kick Chris' butt!
Worried JC laid Joey back down onto the bed and watched him for a moment. Then he got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. After rummaging around in the medicine-cabinet he found a thermometer. JC managed to wake Joey enough for him to put the thermometer in his mouth, feeling extremely tired Joey let JC have his way. A short while later, JC took the thermometer and Joey dozed off again. JC was left sitting at the egde of the bed, staring at the numbers on the display. Joey's temperature was close to 104 degrees.
After only covering Joey's body with a thin blanket, JC went back into the bathroom and put a washing-cloth under the stream of cold water. When he put it on Joey's forehead, he was rewarded with a sigh of content.
Looking down on Joey, JC couldn't resist caressing Joey's warm cheek with the tips of his fingers, the skin was smooth and slightly wet. The simple touch had JC's body reacting in a way he couldn't deal with then and there. A little embarrased he moved away, scolding himself for thinking about Joey that way, at a time like this. Sitting on the bed, next to the object of his affection, JC got the phone and got hold of the hotel's doctor.