Author: Xadith Feedback: Sure but be mature Xadith@aol.com NOTE: You can now find this story as well as other of my work at the yahoo groups http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Xadith/ Please make sure you read the notice before joining. Subject Gay Male Science Fiction Summary: Logan and Lucian have found themselves in the darkest woods, but a light, and a bright one at that, is finally shinned upon the world Logan once knew. Rating: NC-17 Adult content, Sexual situations involving like genders, language, Light D/s and BDSM, rape. Chapter: 3 of 4 (There will be another chapter or chapters after this one) These characters are mine and copyrighted. Any reference to real life people is unintentional.
The sun had long since fallen below the horizon by the time Lucian's eyes fluttered open. He was still breathing and it hurt like all the pains of hell. His body was one massive pulse of pain and throbbing hurt. His back felt like it had shattered, his arms and legs were almost numb but he realized it was just the pain so intensely thick that his mind was desperate to make him black out again. He forced himself to stay awake. Though the deepest gut wrenching stab of it all, he had to stay awake, he had to make sure Logan was all right.
It was then he realized that his head was resting on something soft. He was face down across the ground but under his cheek there was something soft but firm holding him up. He blinked a few times and tried to roll over, get a view of what was going on around him but the slightest movement made him scream out in pain.
"Easy, easy, I got you Lucian hold still." Logan's voice came as a welcome calm to the demon's alarm. If Logan was talking it couldn't be that bad. He wanted to roll over, he wanted to see Logan's face for himself. He tried to lift up, put his arms under him and rise but his arms refused to move and even the attempt made him groan in pain.
"I said hold still you idiot!" Lucian nodded slightly, the sudden smell of earth, blood and Logan filled his senses and the hell spawn realized at last where he was. Under his cheek, Logan's thick thigh was acting as a pillow. He was stretched out over the other's lap and the sting on his back came anew as Logan finished wrapping up the tattered remains of Lucian's wings.
It all came flooding back to him; the cat, the horse, the fall and the landing that tore him into pieces. He moaned but this time in the sheer disgust at his predicament. His arms went slack, his body relaxed against Logan's hands and lap and he just laid there, trying hard not to let the pain drug him into unconsciousness again. Above him, Logan was slowly and carefully washing away blood and bits of leaves from the last of Lucian's wounds. He was carefully cleaning out the open gashes and watching as the once crimson now black, demon flesh seemed to gasp and breath on its own.
"You really messed yourself up Lucian, are you going to be okay? I can't do much for you other then try and clean these wounds and keep you comfortable until the rangers find us." Lucian tried to talk but he couldn't get words past his lips. His dry mouth open and closed again before he finally gave in to the dizzy sickness that was clawing at him. His eyes closed once more and his went slack against Logan's lap. He just needed the night, the evening air would help, he tried to tell Logan, tried to offer some relief for the fear he felt in the other man. He just didn't have the strength.
I didn't know what to do, what could I do really? Lucian was a demon, not a human and I had no idea what I could do to heal a demon, if anything at all. Lucian woke up and I let go a breath of relief. I could feel him breathing, heard him moan and cry out in his sleep as I cleaned up his wounds with water from the near by stream. He was in so much pain and I flinched when I heard him scream of flinch. Why had he done that? Why had he thrown himself over a fucking cliff to save something like me? I was just a toy to him, something to amuse him until he found something else. It didn't make sense. I told myself I was going to save him if only to be able to ask him; to understand why on earth he would do that.
He was falling back asleep again, I felt his body go slack and I drew in a deep breath. There was nothing for me to do now but wait. I wanted the rangers to find us but how was I going to explain a six foot red man with tattered wings laying in my lap. My arm was sore, it didn't hurt as much as it had before and my ankle was feeling better too. Something wasn't right. I shouldn't be feeling better this fast. Even the cut on my forehead had stopped bleeding and I could feel it slowly repairing itself. This was too fast, I was healing way too fast. I hope, that if it had something to do with me former Angelic status, that Lucian had a few of the perks as well. Even as a demon he ad to have some benefits over human's right? I was so tired. My body was using up too much energy, I could feel it spreading out over the ground like the blood Lucian had lost.
I needed rest and so did he. For whatever reason, I pulled Lucian up in my arms, close to me before I laid back on the rocks beside the stream. Just a few hours, I had to close my eyes before I passed out. Just a few hours.
I don't know how it happened, didn't feel the pain or the blood, just the warmth of them when I opened my eyes. It was early morning, or late evening depending on your view point. It couldn't be more then one, two am at the most. I'm not sure how I knew that but it was just fact. My wings had sprung from my back sometime during the coldest part of the night. It had been below freezing and I think my body must have wanted to protect itself because Lucian and I were wrapped up tight in the embrace of black feathers. I stretched slowly, working out a few sore muscles and braced for the sharp pain that would come with moving broken bones. When it never hit, I blinked.
Looking over my body, my mouth fell open. I felt fine. I wasn't sick, hurt, bleeding, my wounds had closed and my arm felt as good as new, even better. This couldn't be real. I couldn't be without a scratch on me. However looking over my limbs and torso I found only a few small bruises left of what was the fucked up mess my body had been in. Lucian.
I looked down into my lap where the barely breathing lump was still out cold. He still looked like hell. His arms and legs were holding a better color, his lips didn't look so pale and the gashes over his back were almost gone. He wasn't healing as well or as fast as I had, but he was healing. I had no idea why I had healed faster, but my guess was it had something to do with my wings. Lucian's wings were still in really bad shape. The bones had set themselves but the gashes and tears were still wide and deep. I cringed. He looked to be in so much pain.
I was careful as I lifted one tattered wing. He moaned softly and I felt his breathing change. His face hadn't taken too hard a hit as it had been cradling mine under his chin. I remember the look on his face when he jumped over that cliff. He wasn't angry, he wasn't even annoyed looking, the only thing I could read in his face was fear. And somehow I knew, just knew it hadn't been fear of the fall. He was afraid of loosing me. I felt it in the way he clung to me, sensed it in the way he rolled to take the full force of the fall and I could damn near taste it in how he tried to struggle to his feet to make sure I was okay after we had hit the bottom. Lucian had wanted to protect me, and he had been scared that something was going to happen to me.
I looked down on the man in my lap and tried hard not to notice the way his face looked in the moon light. His lips were soft and warm, holding more color by the minuet. His cheeks were sculpted and his thick black lashes covered those hauntingly blue eyes in large half crescents. His black hair was swept back from his face, his red skin made his entire body only look more defined, more cut and worked into perfection. I couldn't see his tail but I imagined it was resting under his torn up blue jeans. His shirt had been ripped apart in the fall and I had removed what was left of it to clean out his wounds. Now his detailed back and shoulders were laid out before me and I gently ran my hand over the lines of the muscle.
I couldn't help it. He looked peaceful and quite, so handsome even with his wounds and scars. His tattered wings made him look rugged and tired, but he still seethed with strength. Just a bit taller then men, just a bit more defined, just a bit larger, and yet at this moment he was so vulnerable to everything around him. The big powerful demon, with the shit beat out of him by a bunch of trees and rocks. The same demon that had raped me and made me want so scream with desire and hatred for him all at the same time. He needed me. He had saved my life and now he needed me to save his. Could he even die? Did Demons die and go to hell all over again?
I shook my head out of the thought. I wasn't going to find out. I still had so many questions I wanted to ask Lucian, regardless of the fact he had saved my life, I needed to talk to him. Really talk to him, to find out anything about who and what I was, what we were. I don't know why he was so familiar to me. I still had no clue as to why his mouth felt right, his arms were welcomed by my body and even his arrogant smile made my stomach knot up. I had to find out though.
Lucian's sudden movement jarred me out of my thoughts. His back rose fast with a sharp intake of air and he screamed in pain. I jolted, looking down on him with new eyes, worried eyes. "Lucian?" He groaned in response, his hands curling up into fists and then relaxing again. "Holy hell...." I laughed. Not because he was in pain just the words, the irony of them. "Sorry, no such luck." I could feel Lucian smile against my thigh. He groaned again and tried to move over onto his back but fell forward again, his face buried into my leg once more and he closed his eyes. "I'm in a lot of pain Logan." "I know." "I need your help to push my wings back into my body. If I can't get them back in, I'm going to bleed to death." I nodded slightly, then realized he couldn't see me so responded with a soft "all right." "What do you need me to do Lucian?" The demon in my arms was silent for a long moment, as if he was gathering all his strength into himself for what lay ahead. "I'm going to rip open my back, I need you to fold my wings and push them into the open pockets. My back will seal and then I will most likely pass out again. Once I do, just leave me here and go for help. There are rangers about six hours walk north of this point. They are heading away from us, they are not sure where we have landed. You need to get to them, tell them I'm dead and go back to the cabin, I'll..." "No, I'm not leaving you here." Lucian looked pissed, even with his face in my lap I could tell he wasn't pleased with my response. "Logan you still need food and heat, you can't stay out here with me as long as it will take me to regenerate. You need to go find the rangers before they leave the area." I shook my head and Lucian bit my thigh gently. "Damnit Logan, just do what I tell you or else!" I laughed at him. He was in no condition to order me around and he knew it. "I'm not leaving you Lucian, forget it." "Look brat, if you don't promise me now that you will go find the rangers after this, I wont do it, I'll keep my wings out, force the bleeding to increase and kill myself within the hour. Promise me you will go." Damn him. He knew I wouldn't allow him to die and he knew I wouldn't go to the rangers either. "Fine, I promise." "Good. Now get ready, and no matter what, make sure you fold my wings down first before they go in, if they remain out I'm as good as dead." I nodded slightly and moved my hands to fold the wings. "Not yet, do it too early and the pain will be too much for me to open my back." "All right." I sat there, realizing now that my legs had fallen asleep and the sting of the needle like blood flow was hammering in my head. I pushed the feeling away and watched Lucian, waiting for him to do what was needed. His teeth grit together as the long slices in his back split open hard and fast. My hands went immediately to his wings, folding them as quickly but as carefully as I could before I pushed them down into the soft tissue of his flesh and muscle. He was sobbing in pain. Gasping for breath, he tried to grip my thighs but his fingers just barely clung to me. He was so weak. I forced his wings into his body and sat back watching, waiting for the wounds to heal and seal. They weren't closing. "Lucian?" He was sobbing, I felt hot tears soaking into my jeans and I lifted my hands to his back. He was trying so hard to concentrate, to make his body obey but I could feel it, he was so weak so tired and blood wasn't pouring out of him simply because there was none left to bleed. I felt a rush of anger flood my mind. "Fuck you Lucian, you cry baby demon, close your god damn back, close it! Now! You tough shit wanna be ass hole, grow up and seal your god damn back you bastard!" I don't know why I said it, why anger was the first thing on my mind but it seemed to work. Lucian's body respond immediately and the twin gashes down his body began to seal. Slowly at first but then faster as it went along, until the entire twin scars were once more closed and what was left of his wings were safely embedded inside him again.
Lucian was panting, fighting as best he could but the moment those wounds were closed he slipped out like a light. I could barely tell if he were breathing or not, his chest didn't seem to want to move from the pain that over came it with each breath. I fall back breathing hard. My back hitting the stone behind me with a thud as I just lay there, unsure what I was feeling, what I was going to do. I sure as hell wasn't going to leave him in the woods, not like this. I had to find a way to get the rangers here, to help him, to help us both. But Lucian still looked like a demon. His skin was red from more then just the blood, his small horns were protruding from his forehead, his nails were long and black, his tail was sticking out from the cuff line of his jeans, there was no way to explain him away. My wings fluttered behind me.
Could I fly us out? Could I carry us out of the tree line? That still wouldn't' do, I still couldn't get him to the rangers or back to the campgrounds looking like that. It was settled. I was staying here; at least until Lucian was well enough to change his form and I could get us both out. He would be pissed in the morning, but that was life. Would be the first promise I had ever broken, but I never said I would go to the rangers today, just that I would go to them. I smiled at my own cunning. Lucian might hate me in the morning, but I wasn't leaving him. I couldn't.
Lucian came to with a jerk. His body was sprawled out over the ground, the dew and cold grass chilled him to the bone and he shivered, sending a ripple of pain through his entire body. He felt sick, he was going to be sick if he couldn't get a handle on his body. His mind was clouded with far too many thoughts and all of them lead to pain. His cheek was resting on a small flat rock, a pitiful substitute for the warmth of Logan's thigh. But it pleased him in some ways. Logan had left him, hopefully to find the rangers and get himself to safety. The cold wouldn't stop and the dampness over Lucian's nearly nude body was soaking in deep. He was shivering hard, trying to control the tremors as each one rocked his wounds and made him more susceptible to the devastation of the pain. He couldn't let it get to him or he would never get enough strength to repair himself.
His black coal eyes closed and he attempted to push away the cold with the heat of his own flesh. It wasn't responding well but at the very least it was helping to calm his shivers. The sudden snap of a branch off behind him jarred his senses and his eyes lashed open. He tried to move, tried to turn his head to look back but nothing would obey him. He was simply too weak to do anything but lie there. The sound was coming closer, if this were a large predator Lucian might be shit out of luck. He didn't have the strength to fight off a game cat or something worse. He took in a deep breath, making himself very still, pulling at his body to gather enough strength for one backlash of his fist. If he could surprise the beast he might save himself.
Whatever it was, it was huge, and it seemed to be heading right for him with no concept of stealth. Lucian tighter his muscles and held back the groan of pain that came with the action. He had to get just one swipe at the creature, it may not be enough but he would go out like a demon rather then a rag doll.
When some tumbled to the ground near his head his eyes game open again and tried to focus on the large brown objects within view. He hadn't realized just how fogged his sight was until that moment, when Lucian's face filled his eyes.
"Hey." Lucian's heart sank. It was worse then a predator, the bastard hadn't left!
"lo.." He coughed, clearing his throat of blood and haze. His voice was horse and shallow and he pushed through it as best he could to get out what he had to say. "Logan you idiot, you promised me you would leave."
Logan just smiled at him and started to shift through the wood he had gathered to make some semblance of a fire. He had something slung over his shoulder and Lucian tried to make out what it was. Not that he cared at the moment, he was too pissed that Logan hadn't listened. "I told you to go get the rangers damnit. Why did you stay? They are long gone now, you wont be able to get them back this way. Damnit Logan stop grinning at me like that and answer."
"Shut up Lucian, I wasn't going to leave you here like this, you can't even roll over. Besides, I'm better then you think I am. I don't even have a scratch on me anymore, not that I know why but I don't." Whatever was over his shoulder was slung off and to the side before Logan went back to piling the wood. Lucian didn't argue, he didn't have the strength. In fact he was feeling light headed again.
Fuck no, he didn't want to pass out again, not when Logan was out here defenseless. He groaned, trying to pull himself up onto his elbows and roll over prove to Logan he was just fine and could take care of himself enough to let Logan go for help. He had to protect Logan, he had to keep her away from Logan, and they were wasting so much time, so much valuable time. He wouldn't let it happen, not to Logan, not to HIS Logan. After five minuets he hadn't budged. Slumping down into the earth once more, Lucian's world went black again.
I had a fire going. The matches I found in the saddle bag were most helpful in getting that done. I couldn't believe the luck, finally some small piece of good luck in all this mess that was my vacation. One of the saddle bags on Raven's back must have fallen when he through me. I found it up in the tree line not to far from where we landed and though it had hurt like hell to get my wings to work enough to get me up there I got it. I was far from a world class aviator Angel but with a leap here, climbing a few limbs there and a flap of feather to balance me, I made it up. I had been so proud of myself when I felt the leather bag within grasp. Getting down hadn't been easy, nor fun, but it was worth it to have the hot flames of camp fire roaring beside Lucian. There was also a blanket and I used it to towel off the demon then hung it by the fire to dry off. Running my hands over the soft material I could tell it was dry enough to put over Lucian. He was out again, not that I blamed him. He looked like hell and yet still as devastatingly sexy as always. If anything he looked more gorgeous. Laying like he was, stretched out over the ground, his long black hair fanned out in all directions, his face relaxed and every once of him vulnerable. How he thought I could just turn my back and walk away was beyond me. I didn't have any love for the bastard. Imprisoning me, tormenting me with his mouth, raping me every chance he got and making me into a moaning whore just for the hell of it.
Okay so there could have been worse torture but still. He had saved my life, but he had also taken my life away from me, or was going to if we ever got out of here. A smart man might have left the demon to die, hell a smarter man might have even helped the process along! I just couldn't. There was something in that demon's eyes that just told me, irrefutably, that he would never hurt me, never let anything else hurt me. Why or how I knew that was beyond my comprehension, I didn't really want to comprehend it either. There were still too many questions, too many things to be accounted for and my entire life was spinning around me like a bad dream, a fucking nightmare. I was an angel! I have wings growing out of my back that can heal me when I'm in pain. I had a demon master that had his own set of wings and a tail that enjoyed lacing itself around my thigh and making sure I was close. I had a demon lover that wanted to protect me, even from myself.
I ran a hand over my palm as I sat back on the stones. I put the rolled up bag under Lucian's head and the dry warm blanket over his ragged body. He was still out but showing signs of coming too again. His wounds were healing slower then my own but far quicker then human rate. I watched him from my perch on the rock, just watched the sunlight from the canopy glitter over his dark red skin. My wings fluttered and ruffled up at the sudden breeze. All in all it was a really nice day; cool but not cold, warm but not hot, with a nice breeze, sun shinning with a few clouds here and there. Any other day I would have say back and just enjoyed the sun.
What would it be like to fly on a day like today? To open my wings and just lift up into the air and feel the clouds race past my face, taste the wind and winter in my lips? What would it be like to get that close to the sun and feel so warm, so free?
Lucian's soft sound brought me out of the sky and back to the ground. I stood up and went to him, watching the confusion on his face when he found the blanket and the mock pillow under him. I smiled as he just gave into it, didn't try to figure out what was going on and just enjoyed the softness of the cover. His eyes moved up to mine and I smiled slightly.
"Where did you get this stuff? Why are you still here, can't you ever just listen to me?" I laughed softly. Still worried about me, still worried about my well being when he was close to death.
"Can you sit up at all? I have some food for you." He tried to move and I could tell he wasn't going anywhere without help. I lowered to my knees and helped him up to a sit. It was difficult, he was so sore and moving pained him a lot but hunger was pushing at him to eat something, and ego was demanding he look like he could handle the pain. I got him a bowl of soup I had set over the fire on some metal rods and a cup of water from the stream. He drank both quickly, obviously starved but too damn proud to say anything. He couldn't sit back against the stone with his wings in such pain embedded in his back, but he sat forward with the blankets over his shoulder and still he shivered.
I put my hand to his forehead and cursed. He had a fever, a high one. "Lucian I have to get you to a doctor." I moved to gather up the leftovers of the saddlebag and Lucian's hand caught me hard by the arm. "No, I can't afford to go to the doctor." I frowned. "I don't care about the money Lucian, you saved my life the least I can do it pay your medical bills." Lucian's smile puzzled me. "Has nothing to do with money brat. Look I'm fine, my body will take care of my wounds and sickness on their own, just need a little more time." I didn't like it, and I didn't like the way he was looking at me, as if I were the one about to die. "Why aren't you healing as fast as I did?" I took a seat beside him and Lucian moved to lean on me heavily. It must have hurt to do so but it more then likely hurt more to sit where he was without aid. "Your wings are the source of your power, as are mine. Mine are so badly damaged they much first repair themselves before they can repair me. Once they are healed enough, they will start in on me and I'll be fine, that's why you had to put them inside me. Outside the body, they don't heal fast enough." His eyes closed and I felt my fingers stroke his cheek before I knew what I was doing and yanked my hand away.
What was I thinking? What was I doing? I just nodded to what he said.
"They are almost healed enough to deal with my own wounds, just another night and I'll be on the road to recovery. That's why I wanted you to leave me Logan, you are too much at risk out here alone, when I can't protect you." "Protect me from what? Lions and Tigers and bears? Come on Lucian, it's just the woods; I'm not going to get eaten by a panther or something. I can take care of myself, it's you who can't even sit up on your own. And you wanted me to just walk away like an ass." I hated this, defending my reasons for staying, especially when I didn't even know why I had stayed.
Lucian shifted, trying hard to pull some of his dignity back to him. I didn't like this at all, I didn't like the simple fact I couldn't leave him here to die, run like I had wanted to do not but forty-eight hours ago. He looked up at me and I could see the need in his face, I could see his gratitude that he wasn't alone, but I also saw pure hatred at his own weakness, and anger that I had ever come close to witnessing it, let alone taking it in first hand.
"What can I do to help Lucian. I can heal myself, can I do anything to help you?" I think my words caught him off guard. He looked up at me with a mild shock yet something in him was incredibly warm. He shook his head slightly. I took in a slow breath, not sure what made me do it but I slid my arm around him and pulled him close to me. He was still cold. His deep red skin, which had held such heat, fire of hell that it must have been, was cold and sickly. Even with his fever, his skin was like ice. I pulled him close and wrapped my wings protectively around him. His shivering only increased.
We sat there for a long time. Hours. Just him leaning into me, his arms tight against his body, his hands clutched around the cup of water and would sip at it from time to time. My arms around him, my wings holding us both, and we just sat, completely silent. We listened to the sounds of the woods, listened to the timber in the fire crack and eventually die down into smoldering embers. And still we said nothing. Even with all my questions, I just couldn't ask them, I just couldn't think about them, I didn't want to think about them.
Lucian must have said my name four or five times before I finally heard him. My head shook and I looked down on him as he tried to move. He wasn't shivering anymore, he felt warm but that could have been from the fever. "Logan?" "Hmm?" "You awake now?" "Yeah. What's the matter?" "I've got to pee." I laughed.
We struggled to get him over to the bushes. The demon was a huge mass of muscle and bone, even sick and weak, he was heavy and extremely cumbersome. I got him propped up against a tree and held him up with one arm and my shoulder as he turned the brush into a toilet. When I heard his melodic laughter, a smooth rich sound that didn't appear sick as he felt, I arched a brow and met his eyes. He met mine and only seemed to laugh harder. The confusion must have been all over my face but he didn't bother to enlighten me. "Logan you have to be the most stubborn man I've ever met. Stubborn and complicated. Any other fool would have left me here to die and here you are helping me to piss. What are you doing here?" I glared at him, I didn't want to answer that, let alone think on it long enough to answer it. I didn't have an answer. He was obviously feeling better by that sultry smile on his face and I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. When he was done, I felt his tail slid against my ankle as he spoke.
"How about a swim, get the dirt and blood off us both?" He was right, we were both filthy, covered in god only knows what and our own blood. I just let out a breath and nodded before helping him over to the streambed. It got about waist deep in the middle, or so it seemed and as I stripped off my jeans I saw that Lucian was fighting back another wave of nausea. He wasn't as well as he would like me to think and he wasn't doing well to hide it. I glared at the back of his head.
"I see that Logan. Get over it and help me take off my pants. I've got to rinse my hair, it feels like a rats nest up there." His hair looked fine. It was shimmering in the dusk light and it didn't seem to have so much as a twig in it. Mine on the other hand was tangled and knotted beyond all comprehension. I didn't want to think about how cold that water was going to be but the idea of getting the sweat and blood off my skin was just too good to pass up.
Easing down into the fridged water, I helped Lucian get his pants off. He was moving better, his body was slowly starting to respond to the needs of his mind and seal off the wounds that had been plaguing him. Yet he still looked like death warmed over. "You sure you want to bathe Lucian, it wont be good for your fever." "It will help. I need to bring it down before I go into delirium. Don't worry, after tonight I'll be okay, just got to get through the evening."
My arms laced around Lucian and I helped him out into the middle of the stream. I could feel the heat radiating off him, like the water around us was sucking the warmth from his body, but with it the fever was dropping. He was leaning on me heavily, our naked skin pressed up against one another for the first time without sexual desire or intent. His black coal eyes were dim and clouded, the lack luster of them almost made me cringe. His tail slid around my thigh, hugging me in a soft embrace, a weak embrace and I pulled him close to me, letting him feel my heart beat steadily against his chest.
"Why'd you do it Lucian? Why did you just leap over that cliff? Why did you catch me and protect me? Why did you let this happen to you if I'm just some pet?" I don't know why I said it, don't know where it came from really but I had to know. Was I just some toy, an expensive toy worth a little trouble to keep alive?
Lucian's head came to rest on my shoulder. I could tell he was fighting to keep off the madness of the fever. His mouth was softly kissing at my throat, nuzzling me as he lay so perfectly still on my arms. I dipped us down into the water. I couldn't feel the cold anymore. Lucian's body had turned the stream into a bathtub of warm water. He groaned when the water hit his back. The wounds on his shoulder blades seeped out blood and something almost yellow in color. I watched the wound gape open and close again with complete fascination.
"Lucian what's going on? What's coming out of you?" He opened his eyes, I could feel his lashes flitter against my throat and he looked over his shoulder to his back and the trail of strange color that was flowing down the river.
"Toxins. Don't touch it Logan." I wanted to push him away from me, to get the poison away from me but I couldn't move. My arms stayed right where they were and if anything I pulled him closer, as if my body wanted to squeeze the toxic liquid from his body.
"What do you mean Toxins?" "When demons are hurt, their bodies make a poison so that if they are found, dissected, cut, eaten whatever, the have something like a venom to kill whatever killed them. Kind of a reaching out from the grave to strike back." He was loosing his battle with the fevers mind games. He was grinning and laughing softly as he spoke, as if amused by it all. My hand rose and I pushed his hair from his face gently. "Normally doesn't happen until after they die, guess I'm just lucky." "Always said you were a snake in the grass." He smiled at that and I repeated my earlier questions. "Why did you do it Lucian? Tell me."
He pushed at me lightly, but my strength was complete and I kept him against me, kept him warm as the water began to cool again. He took in a deep breath and sighed, putting his full weight on me. "Mmm...simple logic Logan." "Logic? What do you mean?" I shifted us, moving over to a steep embankment on the side of the stream where I could sit and work my fingers into Lucian's hair. "Yeap. I told them it wouldn't be that hard but you are so thick headed. I mean it shouldn't take a genius to figure out love and all that but you were so stubborn." I nearly fell back on the ground and Lucian tumbled with me. I caught him on his back between my legs. Seated in the stream, his lower body was still floating in the passing water. I could rinse his head here, it was deep enough to dip him and shallow enough not to drown him. "Love?" "Yeap. "What does a demon know about love Lucian?" I just rolled my eyes. It was clear he was completely out of it now. His eyes were hazed over with pain and he laid heavily on me, nothing but dead weight so to speak. "Oh about three thousand years of work in the field. But shhh, you aren't supposed to know this stuff." I had to smile at him. This kind of behavior made me wonder how he would act drunk. I figured it would be about the same.
"Three thousand years hu? Is that how old you are?" I leaned his head back into the water, sliding my fingers through the long strands and watching as more of that yellowish liquid seeped from his wounds. He must have been a lot worse off then he let on, a small pained groan slipped past his lips as a large amount of the liquid spread into the water. He was silent for a long while as I just massaged his head. He was easing in and out of conciseness but he didn't look to be in as much pain. His face fall to one side and I felt his heated lips press a kiss into my palm. It made me smile despite my concern for him. Lucian was beautiful, there was no denying that. Even torn up and battered he was so handsome. I felt my heart doing it again, not just sympathizing for him but wanting to care about him, wanting him to need me, wanting him to want me. I am such an idiot.
"Why are you so familiar to me Lucian?" I wasn't asking, I knew he couldn't hear me as he lay there wrapped up in my arms. I had too many questions and I didn't really want the answers to any of them. "Why do I feel like you have been missing in my life? Why do you make my skin hum and my body moan? Why do I care if you live or die when all you have done is control me and...protect me?" I drew in a deep breath and slid my hand through his hair once more, I needed to get him out of the water. His fever had dropped and he was looking more relaxed now that those toxins had oozed out of him. I wasn't sure if it was safe to touch him but I didn't care at that point. My arms slid around him and I lifted him up as best I could. I could bench press a lot of weight and Lucian, while slightly bigger then me, didn't' seem like he would weight a lot, but the man nearly toppled me when I tried to rise. I barely heard him speaking as I struggled to get us over to the fire and dry off before the night chill set in.
"I'm over three thousand years old, but not too much more. You are too. I met you a thousand years before Christ and I still haven't stopped protecting you." His eyes came open slowly and met mine, there was something in them, something I hadn't seen there before, a fire, a passion, a need for me to understand, to remember something. But nothing would come to me. I looked away and put a few more logs on the fire, bundling Lucian up in the blanket and putting his tattered jeans back on to give him more warmth. I forced some soup down his throat and ate a little myself. I noticed I had been needed less and less food lately, for whatever reason. Lucian fell asleep with his head in my lap, my wings had dried nearly the moment I stepped out of the water and thus made for perfect blankets. That night, I had a dream. The only dream I could ever remember having my entire life.
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Lucian was laying across my bed. A wonderful bed of white silk and cottons, unearthly fabrics that flowed down to the ground and were scattered about the room, pillows and cloud soft sheets that were tangled in both our bodies. We didn't' have wings then, just two men, lost in one another. His red skin against the whites made him look like a statue, cut, every line defined and lovely. I was laying across his chest. My arms out stretched along his body, tangled with his naked leg, my head on his stomach and his under a folded arm. My fingers were laced on his hair and his in mine and we were just resting, breathing slowly, enjoying the morning light that seemed to come from everywhere. I was in love with him then. I felt it, pure love, pure as the white that surrounded us. He was devotion and kindness and I was asleep in his arms with contentment written all over my face.
The image changed. Lucian was under me, moaning my name. His body open for me, my mouth was around his cock, teasing him, enjoying him, watching him writhe off the bed. He was stroking his hands through my hair and down my back, pulling me into him, lost in what I was doing to him, willingly doing to him. He was beautiful, radiant, his skin so soft under my touch and I was savoring him, stroking, nuzzling his thighs, pressing myself into him and wanting to be closer still. He was whispering something, over and over again, what was it. I listened harder. "I love you." There, I heard it now, and I smiled, I said it in return, I meant it. I needed it. There wasn't anything forced about it, it was too real to be a dream, a memory? I couldn't hold on to it, it was slipping away. He was slipping away.
Something tore us apart; flung us at corners and I couldn't get to him, something wouldn't let me reach him. He was in pain, he was hurting, he was bleeding and he was screaming for help. I couldn't reach hum, I couldn't get to him, what was keeping us apart, what had destroyed that beautiful image? Why couldn't I see him anymore? Why could I still feel him in my mind?
"You can't do this!" "I can do whatever I please and you will not speak another word to me in such contempt servant." "How dare you tell me how my life should be, you gave them choice, rights to live as they desired and for us you use and enslave, bind us to you with fear and...." "That is enough! You're choice has been made; you will be disgraced with the rest of your chosen companions. Your light shall be stripped of you servant and I will not allow your dirty soul to be near mine any more. You are the fallen! Let no being of this realm ever speak your name in my grace again!"
Now it was dark, raining, something was touching my head, something warm, soft, and tender. I was small and I couldn't remember how I had gotten there. There were black eyes looking at me, watching me with such affection in them. I needed them, wanted to talk, to say something important but I couldn't. There was something on my chest, something wrapped around me and then those eyes were gone and there was bright light, so bright it blinded me and I thought that the eyes had all been a dream. They were fading away like a dream, like the name of a book you couldn't remember. Then they were gone and all I saw were the faces of my parents.
I remembered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remembered! My face was covered in sweat, my eyes stung with tears and something inside me tore open as I threw myself away from Lucian's sleeping body. I ran into the woods, my stomach up heaving whatever was left inside of it. I gripped to a tree for support as a world of emotions flooded into my mind. I was sobbing, I couldn't see past the tears in my eyes, I couldn't breath past the violent dry heaves of my stomach. My fingers clawed into the bark of the tree, my legs shaking so terribly I thought I might fall over. I remembered. I remembered everything. Lucian, God, the Angels, the fall, the lies, everything. They were all there as plane as day in my mind and they were throbbing so hotly I must have gone mad, I would go mad for all the things that came to me. Wars, miracles, people, souls, battles with demons, slaves, the torment of those in heaven and in hell, there was so much and it was all flooding in, every last thing demanding attention, all of it demanding to force my senses open and accept it all, all at once. I fell to the ground, my wings lifting up off my back and stretching out as I screamed into the dead silence of night. My body seemed to glow white-hot flames, my eyes filling with lights until everything around me erupted into holy light.
I fell forward, slumping onto the ground and clutching at the earth and nearly four thousand years of pain and hatred filled my body. I was an angel; a fallen angel and I had been used for such wrong.
(To be continued. NOTE: You can now find this story as well as other pieces of my work at the yahoo groups http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Xadith/ Please make sure you read the notice before joining.)