Welcome back! Hope I still have a few fans out there. lol. This would have been posted about a week ago, but my editor has been extremely busy. Also, I hope the format is better on this. It turned out that my editor, Kat, would send me the edited version, but I would recieve it as a block of text and just seperate it. Soooo...I sent the origional to her as an attachment, she sent this back as one, and I'm sending it to Nifty as one also. Hopefully it keeps the format. :-D Other than the people who e-mailed me with their comments (and critics cough Jamie cough hehehe) and Kat, there's no one else for me to thank this time. I hope you enjoy these chapters!
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright Jay Wood 2003.
Chapter 5 Drawn Lines
As the last light faded over the horizon, street lights came on and the creatures of the night came to life. Frogs croaked, whippoorwills sang, crickets creaked, and the soft glow of fireflies flickered between the tress. As I rounded the corner to my house I saw that there were no lights on inside and my parent's cars were gone, looking for me no doubt. Stepping onto my yard, I turned my face to the night sky. A sharp pain erupted in my left eye, causing me to blink several times and rub it. 'What the hell?' I looked up again to see what might have caused it and I was greeted by many more pricks on my face: it was raining.
Within seconds, the ground was pounded by driving rain and it made my emotions flare back to life. I fell to the soggy ground and drove my fists into the grass several times, splashing mud with each hit. Striking again I looked up and shouted, "WHY GOD? WHY ME??" But the sound of the rain quickly drowned out my words. I sat in the grass, hunched over, soaked to the bone and asked aloud, "Why did he not choose me? Why did he lie to me? If I mean so much to him why did he choose Luke? Oh God, why?"
Sobbing, I leaned forward and let my head rest on the soft earth beneath me and dug my fingers into the mud. As if it felt my sorrow, the storm shook the world with great blows of thunder and several cracks of lightning. I relaxed my grip and let the rain beat down on me. Water coursed through my hair and streaked my face to join my already fallen tears. I fell onto my side and curled into a ball, the heavens above crying with empathy.
Water fell from my face and hair as I climbed the stairs, but I didn't care. I was soaked, muddy and above all, miserable. Every thought seemed to be miles away as I flicked my bedroom light on, stripped off my clothes, and hung them to dry on the side of my hamper. I walked into my bathroom, and paused at the reflection in the mirror: my shoulder length dark brown hair was matted to my head and hung in clumps around my thin face, my skin tinted slightly blue from the cold, and my semi-toned muscles glistened still wet from the rain. I frowned at how awful I looked and went to the shower.
Checking for the right temperature, I stepped in and let the warm water flow around my shoulders, over my chest, and trickle down my legs. Slowly my body began to warm back up and I found myself feeling somewhat better. I reached for the shampoo and worked a good lather into my hair. After I scrubbed to my liking, I wet my washcloth began to slowly wash my body, the scented soap filling my nostrils with a mountain breeze.
I leaned back into the shower and let it rinse my hair and body. For those few moments, the world was washed away with the water and down the drain. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy and I decided it was best to go to sleep. I did have school tomorrow. I stepped out of the shower, dried off, and went back to my room.
I sat on the edge of the bed and glanced at my desk where there was a picture of Chris and me at the beach. The memory of us playing volleyball, swimming, laughing, talking, and having a good time made want to cry again. I stiffened my lip and walked over to the desk to pick up the picture. I stared at it for a few seconds, lightly placing my fingers on the cold glass, thinking that I would never have that again. I slipped the picture from the frame, gave it one last look and dropped it into the trashcan.
I took a deep breath and grabbed my brush from the nightstand. I had just walked back into the bathroom and turned on the hairdryer when I heard a knock at my door. I shook my head, turned off the hairdryer, and said, "Hold on a sec." A more rapid knock came. "God^Áchold on a minute!" I quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a large T-shirt, and then opened the door. My mother stood there, her short hair wet from the rain. She pulled me into a tight hug, but only for a second before saying, "Come down stairs, please. We need to talk." She led me into the living room where my father was sitting on the sofa. I rolled my eyes knowing what was about to happen and plopped down on the loveseat.
My father cleared his throat and asked, "Where have you been?" His voice was tired and calm. "At Chris's house," I swallowed hard. I didn't want to play games tonight. They both nodded and my mother said, "There's something your father wants to tell you first." She gave him a stern look, but quickly looked back to me and smiled. Inside, I wanted to run back to my room, not deal with this. Not tonight, not ever. I just wanted to be left alone so I could sort my own thoughts out.
My father leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He sighed, looked to my mom, then back to me. "First, I want to apologize for how angry I got with you this morning. It had nothing to do with you. It was just the wrong place, and the wrong time. And the fact that you were rude and disrespected me pushed it." He hesitated a moment before saying, "I'm sorry." He cleared his throat and continued. "We know you left this morning when you heard what your mom and I was talking about. I don't know how much you heard, but apparently not all of it." His left eyebrow slightly raised and he wanted to know how much I had heard.
"Well," I started, trying not to let my voice get angry. "I heard what you said about moving to Georgia. That's when I left." I blinked my eyes to hold back the tears that were forming and it worked. My mother sighed and nodded, looking at my father to see if he wanted her to tell me what happened afterward and continuing when he nodded. "After you left, I managed to calm your dad down and we talked things out. We decided that it would be up to you and your actions." She folded her hands in her lap. "If your grades don't improve, if your attitude doesn't get better, and if you keep smoking - then we'll send you to Georgia. However," she nodded, "if those things do improve then you can stay here. The decision is yours, Jay."
It was so easy for them to just lay down the lines and say "don't cross this," but now that I knew where they were, it would be even harder not to cross them. I don't think parents ever realized that. You could tiptoe all you want, but eventually you'll loose your balance and land on the other side. I leaned back and crossed my legs with my right ankle on my left knee. Why hadn't they said anything about Chris? I raised an eyebrow suspiciously at them, I still didn't want to play games and I was tired.
My mom caught the look, got up, and sat next to me. She placed her hand on mine. "We love you, Jay. Very much. You gave us a good scare when you left and we weren't so sure you'd come back." Her voice was low and sincere, and filled with exhaustion. She pulled me into a hug and whispered, "Even if we don't say it a lot or show it very often, we do love you." I gently hugged her back, but my mind was elsewhere.
They were acting so strange and it worried me. Though my father was firm with his word, his eyes showed something I'd rarely ever seen before, and that was fear. Were they that scared that I wouldn't come home? Even if they were, there was something else behind it all, but I couldn't figure out what it was, and that made me even more suspicious. My dad had also raised my curiosity about why he got so mad.
My mom pulled away and wiped the wetness from here eyes and stood up. My father followed suit and said, "Are you ok with what we said?" I slowly nodded my agreement and my father said, "Good. Time for bed then. You've got school tomorrow." He smiled a little and followed my mother upstairs. When they reached the top he looked back, said good night, and then went into their bedroom.
I sat on the couch for awhile, my mind busy with a million things at once. I finally came to the conclusion that I simply didn't know enough to try and figure it out, but that I would definitely try to get one of them to talk, probably my mom. I yawned, stood up and stretched long and hard. I climbed back upstairs and crawled into bed, sleep taking over only after a few short minutes.
Chapter 6 Hide and Seek
I was awake before the alarm went off by at least thirty minutes. I just lay there, dreading today. Chris would be at school, I knew it, but I kept my hopes up that he would skip today. Just after the alarm went off, I was headed downstairs for something to eat and it had just occurred to me that I had nothing to eat yesterday. The kitchen floor was cold to my bare feet as I went to the pantry. I opened the door and scanned what we had; cereal, spaghetti, Pop-Tarts, oatmeal, and more cereal. My stomach let out a roar. It didn't care what I ate, so long as it was food. I grabbed a package of maple and brown sugar oatmeal and a package of blueberry Pop-Tarts.
After eating I headed back upstairs and got dressed, selecting a pair of black Jnco jeans with a green glow-in-the-dark strip going down the sides and a dark blue shirt just tight enough to hug my body and show off what muscle I had. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, shaved, put on deodorant, and tied my hair back. I stood in front of the mirror and scanned my reflection; something was missing. "Oh!" I said aloud, realizing what it was.
I went back to my room, found my black leather belt, and scanned the room for my choker. I turned around a few times before I saw where it was and walked over to my desk and picked it up, glancing into the trashcan for only a second at the picture. I cursed myself for taking the choker off in the first place and put it on. My clothes may be gothic, skater, slacker, freak or whatever you wanted to call them, but the necklace was something else. It was a braided twist hemp necklace and the day I bought it, I took my ankh from of my other necklace and put it on this one. It wasn't much, but it meant a lot to me for some reason, and hey, it looked good.
I filled my pockets with the usual junk I kept in them, slung my khaki book bag from my left shoulder, lifting the flap to check that my books and folders where there. It was good thing that I'd be at school early 'cause I had homework. The thought made me think of Chris again and I busied myself with finding my CD player. It, like the necklace, was also on the desk, along with my CD's.
I looked them over trying to decide what I wanted to listen to. My eyes stopped on Linkin Park's Meteora album, but I looked over them again and this time my eyes stopped on one of my favorite bands: Evanescence. My mind ran over the songs and I almost decided against it because most of the songs would make me think of Chris, but the loud music and Amy Lee's voice outweighed my thoughts.
My dad's car was still in the driveway when I left, but I didn't think anything of it. My mind was trying to think of a way I could get to school without having to walk by Chris's house, but there wasn't one. I would just walk on the other side of the road and not even glance in that direction. I pushed play on my CD player and without realizing it; I was lip singing to Going Under. My head was bent, but my eyes kept a watch out for anyone, and they happened to look at Chris's house. I clenched my jaw and tightened my grip on the strap of my book bag. Luke's car was in the driveway.
'Son of a bitch, I bet he's been there since last night. God, why did I ever let myself fall for someone like Chris? All he cares about is getting laid. That's all you would have been to him, Jay.' I told myself. 'He didn't love you. He just wanted a good fuck.' I swallowed hard and a little voice in the back of my head said, 'You're the one that ran, Jay. He's with Luke because you took too long to tell him that you're gay. The love is mutual, but he's with someone else. You should try to understand that. If he wasn't with Luke, he would have stayed with you for many years.' The other voice broke in, 'What the hell do you know? It's all icky love stuff to you isn't it? This is reality Jay, welcome to the real world.' I laughed out loud. People go to the loony-bin for arguing with themselves.
A tear streaked down my cheek and I rubbed at it with my shoulder and noticed that I was now standing directly across the street from Chris's house. I blinked my eyes several times and forced myself to keep walking. Reaching the end of the road, I walked up to the fence that separated my neighborhood from the football field of the school and put my left foot into one of the links, pushed up and jumped over. The music skipped when I landed, but I paid it no attention. I routinely followed the path that went around the field. There were a few jocks practicing and a few cheerleaders pretending not to gawk at the jocks. None of them took notice of me. Why should they? To them I was just a low class nobody, and that was fine with me. There were plenty of times that I was glad that I never fit in with preps. They were fake people and would have no direction after school. One day they would look up and realize they weren't so popular anymore and that no one cared what they had to say.
I smiled to myself. I was glad to just be me and I didn't fit in on purpose. I had tried a few times, yes, but only to be rejected because I didn't wear this brand, or listen to that music, or just flat out because I didn't act a certain way. I had friends in just about every group though, and they accepted me for me; that's all that mattered to them. Tara, a really good and close friend, once saw that I was trying to fit in with the preps and she said to me, "Ya know^ÁcI like you 'cause you're Jay." She hugged me and since then, I haven't tried to fit in anywhere. I wear what I like, listen to what pleases me, and act how I feel.
I lifted the latch on the gate and headed through the almost empty parking lot, paying no attention to the rednecks that were jumping up and down on the back of a heavily mudded truck. I thought over my schedule and frowned, knowing that I had lunch period at the same time as Chris and that we both shared fifth and six period. I sighed and entered through the back of the gym. The harsh smell of sweat and old equipment filled my nose and I held my breath. I was very thankful that you only had to take gym once as I walked out a door that leads into the school garden. I exhaled and inhaled the scent of many different flowers and I sneezed, like every morning.
There were a few couples sitting on the benches making out and talking, but I didn't recognize anyone. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw someone running toward me. I turned to see Tara running as fast as she could with a huge smile on her face. I relaxed and put my headphones around my neck. She stopped just short of me and fixed her long black hair. "Oh my God! You will NOT believe what happened last night!" She said jumping up and down. I laughed a little and said, "Tara, with you, I'd believe anything." She rolled here eyes and continued. "You remember that guy Josh I told you about, right? The one with short curly hair, nice butt?" I shook my head. "You gotta be kiddin' me, Tara. You've only known him for two weeks!" She giggled and a wide grin fell across her face. "It was SO good! You just don't know, Jay. I coulda gone all night with that." I rolled my eyes at her. "Tara, you're such a slut." I gave her a sarcastic grin to show I was kidding. She and I always bounced jokes off each other.
Her jaw dropped and she punched my left arm, hard. "Hey! I was kidding!" I said as I rubbed my arm. "Jay, you're such a sissy." She grabbed my book bag and slung it around her neck, the bag handing in front of her, and we walked across the garden. "And the good news-" "Oh, there's good news?" I said and nudged her with my elbow. "Shut up. Anyway^Áclike I was sayin' the good news is, I think he's bi." She winked at me. "He kept tryin-" I put my hand up. "I don't even want to know." She laughed. "You interested?" I fell silent because I was thinking about Chris again. 'Why the hell did he lead me on when he had a boyfriend?' I barely noticed that I opened another door and headed down the hall. Tara pushed me from behind and said, "Hey! You hear what I said?" I turned and looked at her. "What'd you say?" She put a hand on her waist and snapped her other hand in my face. "Boy, wake the hell up. You hear anything I said so far?" "First off, don't snap your fingers in my face," I said as I snapped mine in hers. "Second, you were talking about that guy. You think he's bi." She clicked her tongue, "I asked if you was interested. Are ya?" We started walking again and we reached my locker before I answered. "Thanks^Ácbut I'd rather not take leftovers." We laughed and I put in my combination code, opening my locker. "I didn't take it ALL, Jay. There's still some juicy meat left." She winked again.
Tara held up my bag and I opened the flap to take out my fourth, fifth, and sixth period books and folders and set them in my locker. I didn't have homework for them. Before I closed the locker door, I looked at all the pictures taped on it and ripped off the ones with Chris in them, holding back the tears that wanted to form. I wouldn't let him ruin my day. I crumbled them in my hand and shut the door. Tara raised an eyebrow at me. "What was that about? I thought ya'll was best friends?" I took my book bag from around her neck and put it back on my shoulder, and then said, "Was being the key word in that sentence." I shut the locker door. "Ooo^Ácdamn, Jay. You're gunna have to tell me 'bout it at lunch, ok? I gotta go. Got people to do and things to see." She giggled and hugged me. "You'll be ok, right?" I nodded. She smiled and kissed my cheek. "See ya later!"
The cafeteria was slowly filling up and the talk of how everyone's weekend filled the air. I spotted a table in a back corner and headed toward it, throwing the pictures into a trashcan. I pulled out a chair and pulled everything from my bag. I set my Animation folder aside; we never have homework in there, and opened my Algebra II folder. There was a note I had scribbled on Friday, 'Homework: Page 287-288 (problems 5-40), 291 (problems 10-30), and page 292-294 (all problems.)'
I grunted and closed the folder, set it aside, and opened my Biology II folder. Like the Algebra folder, there was a scribbled note, 'Homework: Read chapters eight & nine. Do the Check For Understanding and short essay.' "Shit." I said in a whisper. "The one weekend where everything goes wrong and I have a ton of homework. Great." I put my books and folders back into my book bag. I realized that my headphones were still around my neck and I quickly put them and the CD player into my book bag. It was a strict rule not to have any electronic device in school and they somewhat enforced it.
Having decided not to do my homework, I was left with nothing to do. So I left the cafeteria and headed to Animation, my first period. I stepped into a bathroom and went into a stall, thankful that no one else was in here. While I was relieving myself, I read some of the "ads" on the walls. 'Call Alex for a good time at 555-5480.' That was boring. 'I'm gay.' Yeah, me too. 'FAG.' Right. I shook my head. "Dumb rednecks," I said as I finished and flushed the toilet, careful to touch the handle as little as possible, and went to the sink to wash my hands.
As long as I kept myself busy today, I wouldn't have time to think of Chris. I just had no idea how I'd make it through fifth and sixth period. He sits right next to me in both, and it would be a very slim chance that either teacher would let me switch seats. I dried off my hands and walked out of the bathroom. The halls were filling up now and I looked at a clock in a teacher's room; 7:55. Still twenty-five minutes till school started. As I walked down the hall a few people waved to me or asked how my weekend was. I just shrugged and told them that it was alright and said that I'd see them later.
I turned down a different hall and there, at his locker, was Chris. I stopped dead where I was and remembered that I was supposed to be going in the opposite direction. 'Please don't see me. Please don't see me,' I thought to myself and kept walking. I heard a locker shut behind me and Chris's voice called out, "Hey Jay! Wait!" I sped up and quickly walked up the hall I just came down, Chris still calling after me. I turned my head to see if he was following me and sped up because he was. He saw me speed up and started to jog.
I practically jumped through the doors into the library and quickly hid behind a bookshelf. I heard the doors open and could just barely see through the books. Chris glanced over the room and walked to the other side of the library, then left. I let out a great sigh of relief, left the library, and took the long way to Animation.
Author's Note: That was pretty close, huh? lol. But Jay can't run and hide from Chris forever...especially later in the day. We shall see what happens. :-\ Awwww....I do have some bad news though: Chapter 7 will be delayed for a while more than likely. I'm taking a trip to Michigan for about a month and a half. I don't much plan to do any writing while I'm there. Sorry. >_< I do hope that you will stick around and find out what happens though. Take care and, as usual, feel free to e-mail me with your comments!