Well, here it is - finally! Sorry it's taken so long to get this out. You know how the holidays are, right? Hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know your thoughts!
As always, no illegal viewings. I don't have the pleasure of being acquainted with the guys mentioned in this tale and therefore, don't presume to know their true sexual preferences. Enjoy!
Chapter 7
Justin Timberlake - Journal Entry - October 26, 2000
Dateline: Indianapolis, Indiana. Okay, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's hard coming up with creative beginnings when I'm so freaking tired. We just finished our second show here and are currently headed down to Knoxville, Tennessee for another show tomorrow. I'm kinda excited because my dad is gonna be there and I haven't seen much of him lately, since I don't make it up this way very often. My mom told me to tell him hi, which is a good thing, I guess. It's good my parents can be civil to each other. I've had enough friends in my life with parents who hated each other and it was no fun.
Just got off the phone with Britney. She misses me. This sappy stuff isn't for me. I'll leave that to Lance and Josh, the eternal lovebirds. Don't get me wrong, I love Britney and all, but I need some Justin-time now and then and - who am I kiddin'? I miss the girl. We're supposed to hook-up over Thanksgiving. I'm gonna stop by her house over the weekend.
I know when I wrote the last entry over a week ago that I was gonna write after every show and give an update, but usually after a show and the after-parties, I just wanna crash. But, once a week ain't too bad, right?
So, what's going on this past week? Like I said earlier, Lance and JC are still acting like newlyweds. I swear those guys get closer everyday. I think I would be sick of someone after spending 24/7 with them, but not those two. I think it's awesome that they found each other. It's hard to find that perfect significant other and they seem to really fit. I can just picture attending their commitment ceremony someday soon. Maybe they can have a double wedding with Chris and Dani when they finally tie the knot.
Okay, we know that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Although I am glad to report that Dani and Chris seem sickeningly happy. She's not here now - she had to work. But, she's supposed to be at our Orlando show in a couple of weeks. My mom and stepdad and Jon are gonna be there too. I like my family coming to things.
Which reminds me, we were in Alabama the other night and Lance's parents came. I think his sis and her husband came too, although I'm not sure. It was a little awkward, so I didn't stick around too long. Mr. and Mrs. Bass have come a long way, but I can see they're still a little uncomfortable, especially when Josh is around. I just hope they can come to be truly happy for them like I am. My opinion on these things is: love is hard to come by, so it shouldn't matter who it's with.
Let's see, what else is up? Oh, yeah Joseph and Andrew. They also seem to be happy. That is, when they talk. I can see the sadness in Joey's eyes when he gets off the phone. Man, he misses that guy. He told me Drew said he loved him. Joey said he doesn't feel that way yet. I'm sure he will, just give him time. This roadie named Hal has actually been hitting on Joey this week. The guy is so obvious and Joey plays it off, but I think he likes the attention. I've known Joey for a long time now and he is a shameless flirt. I just hope things don't get out of hand with that. I don't think Joey would be that stupid, but he is a guy (man, I just dissed myself!).
But, back to J and D. They're really good together too and I just hope that this separation thing works out. It sounds like they won't be seeing each other until the holiday, which to Joe probably feels like forever.
I just looked up and saw Joe on the phone, most certainly with Drew. He has those puppy dog eyes he has when he's feeling mushy. I just know when the call ends, he'll be sad again. I try to cheer him up. Even Steve is getting in on the action. He's taken Joe to every strip bar in the towns we visited. I remember reading about his trip to the one in Charlotte in the paper. Man, did Drew tell him off the next day. I could hear his voice through the phone. Luckily, they resolved that, although I don't know if Drew knows Joey still goes to those places. But, it's just to get his mind off Drew. I guess Steve thinks a bunch of naked babes cancels out all the thoughts of the naked man Joey has.
Okay, that's about it. We just pulled into a gas station and I am hurting for some cereal. I know it's after midnight, but my schedule's so crazy right now, I don't think my body knows which end is up. So, off I go. I'll try to write in another week. Adios!
The tour bus arrived in Knoxville around sunrise and the guys slowly dragged themselves to their hotel suite, where they all five collapsed, fully clothed. Sleeping on the bus never seemed to work and many times, they were even more tired after a restless slumber on the small bunks. So, usually they just stayed awake and passed the time talking and playing games.
When Joey woke up about noon, he found he was the last one to rise. This surprised him, since Justin and JC were notorious for sleeping as late as humanly possible. Luckily, the guys had no PR to do today, so they were free until five when they had to get to the arena.
Chris and Justin were playing some new game on the Playstation2 Chris had gotten as a gift. Steve had been so pissed since he wanted one and they were sold out at the store within hours. So, he tried to hang around as much as possible to get in a game whenever he could.
Of course, Joey also knew Steve was looking out for him. Although he would never outright admit it, Steve played the big bro role to a tea and tried his best to keep his mind off of Drew. Joey did miss him terribly and couldn't wait to see him, but he doubted that the multitude of strip clubs he had visited in the last week were helping. He didn't even know why he went. Mostly to appease Steve, who felt important with this task. Drew hated it - he had gotten read the riot act when he found out Joey visited one of the places. Good thing he didn't know this was a regular occurrence and even though he felt bad not telling Drew about it, it didn't seem to be that important. It was harmless fun and it wasn't like he was doing anything with these girls. He barely even looked at them.
Deep down, he knew this might come back to haunt him, but Drew would understand. At least he hoped he would.
Joey plopped down on the couch next to Lance, "Where's your better half?"
Lance indicated his bedroom, "Taking a shower. You look like hell."
Joey punched Lance in the arm, "Thanks for the compliment dude."
Lance laughed, "It's just your hair looks like Don King's until you wash it."
Joey got up, "You're so funny," he replied sarcastically and headed into his room to take a shower.
When he was done, he walked out to find a pleasant surprise: Drew was standing there.
Joey went up and hugged him, "Man! What are you doing here?"
Drew squeezed him tight, "Does that question mean you don't want to see me?"
"Au contraire," Joey said in a faux French accent, "I'm just surprised. In a good way. No publicity stuff today?"
Drew shook his head, "We just finished shooting the new video and we had a couple of days off, so I thought I would come visit. Besides, my mom wanted to meet you."
Joey looked around at the empty room, "Is your mom the invisible lady?"
Drew smiled, "No, Jeff came with us and he took her to the hotel. She was hoping to come to the show."
Joey smirked, "Is she a big boyband fan?"
"She has to be," Drew responded as he leaned forward and kissed Joey, "It's not a problem to get us backstage is it?"
Joey rubbed Drew's shoulders, "Naw, I just have to let them know."
"Cool," Drew said, "I was thinking we could go grab a late lunch slash early dinner if you want."
Joey went into his room and Drew followed. Joey began putting on his socks and shoes, "Sure. Where are the other guys?"
"They all went out to eat. I guess they figured we could use some quality time." With this statement, Drew went up to Joey and began massaging his chest. He bent over and kissed Joey, on the ear, which sent the bearded singer into a fit of ecstasy. Joey dropped his shoe as Drew laid him on the bed, "We're meeting my mom and Jeff in the lobby in an hour. I was hoping we could find some way to pass the time."
Joey reached up and cupped Drew's bulging crotch, "I have an idea."
Drew grinned and slowly unbuttoned Joey's pants, sliding them down around his ankles. His underwear followed and Drew removed his own clothes. He climbed on top of Joey, straddling him. He began grinding his hips into Joey's erection, causing him to moan.
A week's worth of celibacy was overtaking him and Joey suddenly mustered his strength and flipped Drew over onto his back. Drew's eyes widened, but he liked the take-charge attitude and allowed Joey to begin licking and sucking his smooth, firm chest. Joey worked his way down to Drew's throbbing cock and he lightly licked the head, sending a shudder through his lover.
Joey continued licking around Drew's cock and balls, finally working his way up to Drew's shaft. He took it in his mouth and Drew felt himself coming. He tried to hold out, but the pleasure was too great and he warned Joey, who took the penis in his mouth and continued sucking as Drew exploded, sending waves of cum down Joey's throat. Being the first time he did this, it caused his to gag slightly, but soon he relaxed and swallowed every drop of Drew's juice.
He climbed back up to face Drew, giving him a salty kiss. "A little pent-up tension there?"
Drew panted, "Sorry I was a little quick there."
Joey rubbed Drew's nipple, "No problem. I said I owed you for that."
"And I appreciate it," Drew muttered as he slowly calmed down.
The two lay there for a little while before Drew informed them they had to meet Jeff and his mom downstairs in a few minutes. They boarded the elevator and Joey turned to Drew, "How does your mom feel about me - about us?"
Drew shrugged, "She seems okay with it. She's just happy that I am so happy, you know?"
Joey understood. He just hoped that she would be at least civil to him. He had seen how Lance's parents had been around JC after they found out they were together. They were nice enough, but there was underlying tension that always filled the air when they were in the same room. But, Joey figured it went with the territory. Drew's mom at least accepted it. That was more than many people could hope for.
When they got off the elevator, Joey recognized Drew's mom immediately. Not just from the fact that she was standing next to Jeff, but she looked so much like her son. Or vice-versa, Joey assumed. He went up to Jeff and smiled before turning to Drew's mom, "How are you doing, Ms. Leimbach?"
Drew's mom smiled at Joey, "Please call me Cate." Joey shook her hand, "It's nice to meet the man who makes my Andrew so happy."
Joey blushed slightly. Drew grabbed his mom and began leading her to the awaiting car, "Enough with the embarrassing of my boyfriend mom. Let's get going."
Jeff walked next to Joey, "Tough meeting the in-laws huh?"
Joey smiled, "It could've been a lot worse."
Jeff nodded, "I hear ya. I had this boyfriend a few years ago and his parents said they were open and accepting and all that, but I don't think his mom said one word to me the whole first night I met her."
"I'm just glad Cate is cool about it," Joey responded.
"Yeah, she's great. She's the only other person besides Drew who knows about me."
They approached the car and Joey stopped, "Are you ever gonna tell Nick and Justin?"
Jeff opened the door, "One day. I think Nick needs to deal with his brother first before I drop this bombshell."
Joey silently agreed and they all climbed in the car. Joey wasn't sure how to act around Drew's mom, so he left it up to Drew as to how they should act. He was glad, when his boyfriend grabbed his hand as they approached the restaurant. He smiled at him and glanced over at Jeff, who quickly looked away. Joey got a confused look on his face: what was that all about?
He made a note to ask later. Right now, they were at the door to the eatery and the show was beginning to fill all of Joey's thoughts. He always got nervous, no matter how many times he performed. His hands were sweating, but he calmed down somewhat when Drew squeezed his hand reassuringly.
The meal went really smooth, with Cate asking Joey all sorts of things and making sure to include him in all the conversations, even though the frequently turned to issues regarding 98 Degrees and the past. Joey didn't mind, however: Drew had been subjected to the history of NSYNC on more than one occasion and he felt turn about was fair play.
Dinner ran a little long and when they finally approached the stadium, they were about ten minutes late. Joey was met with the disapproving glare of Johnny Wright, their manager and after mumbling out an apology, he quickly kissed Drew goodbye and headed to the dressing rooms.
Joey felt relieved as he walked in to find only Lance fully dressed in their 'hobo outfits', as JC liked to call them. They didn't even seem to notice that he was late and he rushed to the costumer to get his clothes. JC was there, putting on his outfit and he smiled at his friend, "How's Drew? Actually, how is his mom?"
Joey smiled as he began dressing, "He's good. And his mom was great. She's a very nice lady."
JC smiled, "Cool. I'm gonna go find Lance. I need to, um, warm-up before the show."
Joey patted JC's shoulder, "That's okay. I warmed-up before dinner."
JC laughed and headed out to the lounge area. Joey finished dressing and went out to find Drew. Chris and Justin were playing hacky-sack, and they mentioned that they were down the hall. Joey found them backstage. Jeff was trying to explain some of the finer points of technical things to Cate. Drew was peeking through the curtains at the rapidly filling theater. Joey went up behind him and tickled Drew, who jumped, nearly falling onto the stage.
"Whoa!" Joey called out as he steadied Drew, "It would suck to have these girls see you. They might get boyband territorial and attack."
Drew leaned into Joey, "I think if they knew what we did to hours ago, they would kill me."
Joey smiled as he heard a cough behind him. He turned around to see Steve standing there, "Hey guys. You wanna take that a little more backstage?"
Joey nodded and the three guys headed back into the hallway. Steve patted Drew on the back, "So, Andy, you coming with us tonight?"
Joey saw Drew cringe. He hated being called Andy. This thought made his totally miss Steve's statement and when Steve began explaining about the strip clubs, a red light went off in his head and he stepped in, "Steve, shut up!"
But, the damage had been done. Drew's demeanor changed drastically and he looked at Joey, his eyes filled with hurt. He turned and walked away. Joey ran after him, nearly getting beamed with a hacky-sack ball. He caught Drew near the exit, "Drew, I can explain."
Drew stood there, his arm crossed, and Joey continued, "Steve takes me because he thinks that it'll help me get over the sadness I feel when we're not together."
Drew stopped him, "I've already heard this, when I found out before."
"Then you shouldn't be upset, Drew. It means nothing," Joey offered.
Drew was stoic, "You don't even get it, do you, Joe?"
Joey didn't have a clue and stood there silent. Drew threw his arms up in the air, "Jesus, Joey! I don't give a shit that you went. It's just the fact that you didn't tell me."
Joey interrupted, "Oh, come on! You were mad when I went the first time. It obviously pissed you off that I went."
Drew laughed angrily, "It wasn't that! It's that you didn't tell me. Then, or now. I don't care if you wanna go look at a bunch of titties. I care that you don't feel you can tell me."
"I didn't see the point," Joey stated.
Drew turned away, "Is this a nightly thing?"
Joey was getting mad now, "You know, Andrew, I don't think we have to tell each other every little detail about what goes on. Admit it, this is pissing you off not because I didn't tell you. You're just jealous. You think I'm gonna cheat on you or something."
Drew said nothing. Joey went on, "Is that it? It's not the not telling you factor. You think some babe is gonna come on to me and I'm gonna screw her."
Drew looked at him, "I know you have a past."
Joey was shocked, "Excuse me?"
Drew sighed, "I know you are a player. Everyone knows. You get around Joey."
Joey grabbed Drew, "Are you calling me a slut? Cause that's not true. Sure, I've had some sex - probably more than most people. But, I wouldn't do that in a relationship."
"What comparison do you have?" Drew bluntly asked and in a sense, he was right. Joey hadn't been in any real relationship since high school and he wondered if temptation presented itself, would he refuse.
"I don't" Joey quietly said, "But, I care about you, Drew."
Joey saw tears forming in Drew's eyes, "But, you don't love me."
Joey held Drew's shoulders, "Are you that insecure about us?"
Drew backed away, "I don't know, Joe. I just don't see that you don't love me."
Joey wanted to give Drew an answer, but didn't know himself. The fact was, Drew was a great guy and he wanted to love him, but the feelings just weren't there.
Drew saw Joey's unresponsiveness and looked at him, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't pressure you because of my insecurities," He opened the door leading to the garage, "I'm not in the mood for a show right now."
He walked through the doors and everything in Joey told him to go after him, but he felt a tap on the shoulder and turned to see Chris, "Man, we need to go warm up. is everything okay?"
Joey lowered his head, but said nothing.
The show went on without a hitch and even though Joey's heart wasn't in it, he still did his best. Afterwards, the guys all planned to hit a club and asked Joey to go. He said no, he wanted to hang out and see if Drew showed up. Joey looked for Drew during the breaks, but never saw him backstage. In fact, Jeff and Cate seemed to disappear too. This wasn't looking good. Still, he had hope and sent the guys on their way.
He decided to take a shower and as he washed himself, he suddenly found himself becoming angry. He didn't know if it was a rational ire or not, but he was mad at Drew. The guy didn't trust him - that's what it came down to.
And Joey had given him no reason to doubt him. He was letting Joey's past and his own insecurities get the best of him and Joey wasn't going to take it. If Drew was gonna be such a wimp, he wasn't going to deal with him.
Joey felt bad thinking this, and as he stepped out of the shower, he wondered what this meant. Were things over? He wrapped the towel around his waste and headed out into the dressing room, where he saw Jeff sitting there.
"We have to stop meeting like this," Jeff offered half-jokingly.
Joey slipped on a robe, "What are you doing here?" But he knew the answer and told Jeff, "Drew's not coming, is he?"
Jeff shook his head, "He sent me. He needs to be away from you for awhile."
Joey sat down next to Jeff, "I don't know what happened."
Jeff turned to Joey, "Look, Drew's not had the best of luck in his personal life and things lately have been really screwy, what with the wedding and Nick and the fact that he loves you and can't be with you."
Joey sighed, "That's not my fault. He knew this was coming."
Jeff put his hand on Joey's shoulder, "Of course he did. But, that doesn't make things easier. He just needs time to sort things out."
Joey looked at the wall, "You know, I don't know what's going to happen. I wonder if I even want things to happen."
Jeff's face changed, "You're not going to end it, are you?"
"I don't know. I care a lot for Drew. But, I wonder if I'm ready for a long-term thing. I mean, I'm only 24."
Jeff laughed, "And so is Drew."
Joey nodded, "I know. I just think we might be at different places in our lives."
Jeff faced Joey, "Look, you need to think things over. Don't make any judgements tonight. You need time. You both do."
Joey agreed. He would spend the few days until Thanksgiving thinking about it. He decided there was no point in thinking about it anymore tonight, so he changed the subject, "What was up with you earlier in the limo?"
Jeff was taken aback, "What do you mean?"
"Well, you were staring at me and then when I caught you, you looked away."
Jeff said nothing, but his face went flush, "It was nothing."
Joey pushed, "Come on. Is everything okay with you. It's not the thing about Drew being in love with you, because I'm okay with that. You don't have to act weird around me."
Jeff got up, "It's not that, it's - just - nothing. It's not important. I'm not here to complicate things."
Joey went to Jeff, "What are you talking about?"
Jeff headed to the door, "It's nothing really."
Joey ran to the door and stopped Jeff, who nearly ran into him. Joey and Jeff were face to face and Joey asked, "What's wrong?"
Jeff looked at Joey and before he knew what he was doing, he leaned forward and kissed Joey on the lips. Joey tried to back away, but his head was against the door. A million thoughts went through his head, but he felt his resistance weakening and soon he gave into the kiss, allowing Jeff's tongue to part his lips and enter his mouth.
Jeff grabbed Joey and they walked over to the couch, their lips still locked. Jeff fell on top of Joey, sending the two onto the sofa. Jeff began kissing Joey's neck, working his way down to the top of his chest. Joey tried protesting, but in a way, he also wanted this. It wasn't so much Jeff, it was just the fact that it was something different.
Guilt swept across Joey's mind, but it was pushed aside as Jeff's hand reached down to Joey's crotch and pushed the soft fabric of the robe aside, revealing his now-erect cock. Joey moaned as he felt Jeff's hand's encircle his penis and begin stroking it. Joey wanted him to stop, but the words wouldn't come out and the pleasure was just too much for him to bear.
It suddenly hit Joey that he was doing exactly what Drew was afraid of. Joey couldn't stay faithful. He was nothing more than a common slut. And he hated himself for it. But, he wanted this so much. Jeff smelled so nice and even though he never thought much about it, the guy was pretty hot. He hated to admit it, but he wanted Jeff. He wanted Jeff to kiss him, lick him, suck him. He wanted it so bad.
He moved his own hands down to Jeff's jeans and unbuckled his belt. He unzipped them and reached his hand inside, grabbing Jeff's hard cock. Jeff moaned and began moving down Joey's body towards his cock. Joey knew that this was something he would regret, but he didn't have the strength to stop it.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) they were interrupted by the door to the dressing room opening. Joey shot up and closed his robe as Drew walked in the room, his eyes wide open. "I'm sorry," he stammered out, "I didn't mean to interrupt." He was visibly shaken and he turned around to leave.
Jeff got up and ran to Drew, grabbing him, "Sprout, wait!"
Drew turned to Jeff and before Joey could even say a thing, drew balled up his fist and swung at Jeff, connecting with his jaw. Jeff fell backwards onto the floor. Drew glanced at Joey through tear-filled eyes and ran out of the door.
Joey sat back on the couch. Things had just gotten a lot worse.
Please write me and let me know your thoughts on these turn of events. I really am not sure which way to go, so your opinions on how things should progress will be greatly appreciated.