Chapter 41 of Tim and Michel
If you want to respond please let me know. You can do that through noway16@hotmail.com. All of my stories can also be found at www.timsfunplace.com
I felt how I started to sink in deeper and deeper as the pain increased. Then it was dark... Oh and the lines then need to be, of course...
I no idea what happened next but when I regained consciousness again with some light. I was still strapped to a bed but I was definitely somewhere else. I looked up when my sight got clearer and clearer. I got a smile on my face as I saw who was sitting there beside me but that was gone fast the moment I felt a sharp flash of pain going through my balls. I realised then that the one sitting beside me was rubbing continuously one of my balls.
He must have seen the change on my face when he said "Sorry for that Tim but I can't stop. I am told to keep on doing that".
"Why is that Jamey and where are we?"
"We are in an ambulance. We got to you probably just in time but the people in the ambulance told me to keep up rubbing your balls" he said softly.
"Hmm, they are very painful though, you might better stop".
"No, I can't it is suppose to help".
"Help with what?" I asked.
"Sorry Tim, I really can't tell you. They will when we get to the hospital".
"But it hurts Jamey, please stop". I tried to get up to look at my balls, but I couldn't as there was a pillow lying on my stomach.
"They are ok aren't they?" I asked now getting worried as it seems that pillow was there on purpose. Oh you wondered why I couldn't just take it off. Well my hands were tied to the side of the bed.
"Yea, nothing to worry about" Jamey said with a slight smile. His voice though didn't sound very confident at all.
"Just relax and wait till we get to the hospital ok?"
Relax he had easily said that. But slowly I could as the pain started to get more or less normal.
"How did you get here Jamey? Where are the doctor and ... Mom?"
"Ah, I wondered when you would start to think about that".
"It seems you passed out during the examination and then when we came in we just took over".
"We, who?"
"Me and my granddad to start with, later on the police". lt;br />
"Police?"
"Yea, you know my granddad was a police officer. Well let's say that when you told him where you were supposed to go a bell did go off. He contacted his contacts and well that is how we ended up".
"But why then Jamey?"
"What did they do and why get the police involved?"
The door of the ambulance was opened and a nurse got in. "Ah, he is conscious".
"Yea and wondering" Jamey said.
"I am sure, is he's in pain".
"He says he is. I think he is holding up as he must be in more pain than we know".
"Hey stop guys I am right here you know".
"Are you in pain then Tim?" the nurse asked me now.
"Yea I am, so please let Jamey stop playing with my balls".
"Hmm, I am going to give you another injection then Tim. You will feel sleepy soon. I think that is the best at the moment".
It must have been some very fast working stuff as slowly the world started to sink back into darkness. Before I was gone completely I heard the nurse say "Make sure you keep rubbing Jamey. You are the best chance of ..." And I was gone.
As fast as I had gone off, the longer it took me to really get back to the world again. I heard sounds first, not sure what exactly, voices I thought then it got quieter. I tried to open my eyes and saw that there was hardly any light in the room where I was. I tried to move my hands but they were bound to the bed. So yea this was a hospital room but where and why. I moved a bit and a sharp pain went through my body, originated from the groin area. With it came memories flowing back. First the ones of Jamey being with me in the ambulance and the words of the nurse to keep rubbing those balls. Then it hit me, I had been with my mother at the doctor's place. She had placed an instrument around my balls to subtract some semen. But there was a twist to it, something was not right. My memory came back further. I saw her son lowering his briefs and now, with the knowledge I had I could see that he had no balls. At that point I screamed. I started to ramble on the bed trying to get my hands loose so I could move. I felt pain, a lot of pain but I had to see, was it phantom pain. Had I lost them? Then as the pain became too much and I knew there was no way I could go and see. I just screamed.
Then the lights came on and someone said "Ah you are awake Son?"
I looked up. I didn't recognise her. "I am not your son". I said anger now more then mad.
"I know, just a manor of speaking".
"Just get me loose, I am not a maniac or have suicide tendencies".
"We know, but I can't let you up. That is up to the doctor tomorrow".
"Oh, please. I need to go to the toilet".
"I doubt it son. You can just let it go and it will get collected, so don't worry about it".
I blushed now talking about something like that was not something you would do. I could ask couldn't I? She would know what had happened and if my balls were still there or not.
"Are you in much pain Son?"
Again that son, I wanted to scream shut up. I just nodded instead.
"Ok, I am going to give you one more injection then. You will go off to sleep again".
"No, no sleep anymore. I have slept enough".
"I think you better though. Everyone else is asleep and the doctor won't be back until tomorrow morning".
"Is my Dad here or Jamey?"
"No they have been sent home. So here it comes have a goodnight sleep".
And yea there I was gone off in a deep sleep.
This time I could definitely hear a lot more when I woke up. Not in my room I thought but outside. It seems the hospital had come to life for sure. I realised straight off that it was daylight when I opened my eyes. I looked around. I was in a single room. I had some cables going from my body to some monitors. My hands were still bound. I thought about screaming again but decided against it. I just wanted to lay here quiet. I didn't want to go off to sleep, I wanted to think... think about it all before they would probably sink me back again.
So I probably had lost my balls. Now would I go back to Michel like that or wouldn't I? I guess my mom was right I would never get back with him now. I wouldn't be able to ... no way I would do that to him. He should have a complete partner not one that couldn't do anything anymore. I slowly started to cry and closed my eyes as I realised that Mom had won. I had said earlier on that I wasn't suicidal and that they could set my hands free but now. How could I live, no way I would be able to go back to school and do PE? Everyone would know, but then if I wouldn't then everyone would know too. Going back home, that was not an option either. Mom might have won when it came to Michel but that was it, never would I say anything to her ever again. She was gone, gone out of my life. And then there was Dad. I don't know if he still loves mom but he must have and now I had ruined that too. No, suicide ...
My thoughts were interrupted when the door was opened and someone looked around the corner.
"Ah good you are awake, Tim is it, isn't it?" he asked.
"Yea, I am Tim".
"Are you hungry Tim?" he asked now pushing the door open.
I saw that he was wearing a nurse's kind of kit and that he had a small trolley with him.
"Yea, thanks that would be nice".
"Ok, I am going to help you with it then. I have some muesli here and something to drink".
"Good, that is what I like".
"Yea, your dad told us last night before he left".
"He is here now?" I asked.
"No, not yet but I am sure now you are awake they will arrive soon. So we better get some food in you. We don't want them to get worried about that stomach". He said laughing. Just before he said it my stomach became aware is had been empty for some time now and wanted some food to be poured in it.
"You want to sit up a bit higher Tim?"
"Yea, but you can loosen the bands then I can eat myself".
"Sorry can't do yet Tim. The doctor should be here within the next 2 hours or so and then he can decide".
"Please, just so I can eat".
"So sorry Tim. But I can't I am not sure why they did it but I am not even a nurse so I can't".
"What are you then?"
"A volunteer".
"Oh, you..."
I thought about asking him, if he could look to see if my balls were still there. I still had some hope they would but I knew they probably didn't do that but then again it sounded silly to ask. I looked a bit closer at him; he was not even that old, early 20's or so. When he got closer and sat beside the bed I saw he had a strange kind of green eyes. Very peculiar and he had a nice smile on his face. He was quite pleasant to look at. Oh no wrong idea's I thought as I could feel how my dick started to get hard. Well at least I still had that bit and it worked as well. But there was no way I could ask him now anymore. That would be too embarrassing.
When he got the first spoon close to my mouth and I had taken the content of it. He hesitated, "I am sorry Tim. I would really love to take those bands loose but I have been there you know and I am happy they didn't loosen them until I was ready for it".
"You, had..." I couldn't say it. I could hardly believe he had the same happen to him as to me.
"Yea I tried to kill myself" he said.
When he saw the shocked look on my face, he said. "Don't be shocked I know why they tie your hands down. When they asked me to feed you I said straight off, yes as I know how it feels, to be alone, no one to talk to or help".
I started to laugh almost getting the complete content of the last spoon splattered over the bed.
"Oh, wait" he said.
I looked at him. "Sorry for that, I didn't laugh at you. Just that you presumed I tried to committed suicide. I didn't" I said.
"Oh, sorry then I did presume, you know most of the guys who they bind to the bed have done that".
"No problem".
"I hope I didn't scare you".
"No, as I said no problem. Is that the reason you do voluntary work down here"?
His face came back to life again. "Yea they did get me back on track, I have so much to live for now. I hardly can understand why I did it then. But if I can just give a bit back in helping them out and talking with people with the same problem then I have done my bit as gratitude in staying alive". He had a good smile on him. "But it seems I don't need to do that for you. Although, I am a bit puzzled now why you are here with your hands tied down".
I was afraid that he was going to ask that. I was not sure myself but it must have to do with them being afraid of me doing something or find out to early that I had lost my balls. I started to blush and looked down towards my crotch wondering what was underneath the blankets down there. The other bit why I got red was that if I would tell him he would definitely look and my dick only had gone harder over the last few minutes.
"You don't know then Tim, or are you afraid to tell me? You don't need to be embarrassed you know. I have heard a lot and seen a lot over these last few years and whatever you tell me, it won't leave the room".
"I don't think you have heard something like this" I almost whispered.
"Ok, well in that case let's finish this breakfast" he said and he moved another spoon full closer to my mouth.
He had been honest and if what had happened was true I needed someone to talk with about it. I didn't open my mouth and nodded no.
He removed the spoon. I opened my mouth and wanted to say something but the words were stuck.
"You don't have to tell me Tim. I just thought it might help to talk about it".
"I know it might especially when I know the truth as to what has happened" I said.
"Ok, well if you don't want it now I will be back don't worry".
"No that is fine, but it is embarrassing you know" I said.
"I presume it is otherwise you would have told me don't you think?" he said with a laugh.
I smiled now "Yea I guess. Well I am not sure but I might have lost my balls".
"Ouch" he said and I saw that his glance went down to my crotch. It took him a bit too long I thought to come back and look at me again.
"Well something down there is working, so I wouldn't worry too much Tim" he said with a smile.
Oh no, now I started to get really really red.
"It is ok, don't worry I have seen enough of those" he said with a smile.
"Well it is just that I don't know if ..."
"I am sure the doctor will tell you soon".
"OH, but I think they are gone, why would they otherwise keep me tie down?"
"I see, they might but there might be other reasons Tim".
I looked away now, more and more I thought I was sure I had lost them.
"Ok, if you have had enough I will be on my way. Is it ok if I come back later Tim"?
I looked back at him. I nodded.
"Ok, see you later then. Oh and I presume your mom and dad will be here to see you, shall I let them in?"
In shock I looked at him. "Not my mom" I said quite hard.
"Oh, ok, don't worry Tim. You will be ok whatever happened, now till later".
I waited as I knew who the next one would be. My dad I suspected.
I looked up when voices came to the door when it was opened. More then one I came to the conclusion. I saw that
Dad walked in, followed by Jamey's granddad. Now that was odd I thought.
"Hi there Son, how are you doing"?
I didn't say anything.
"You want me to go, so you can talk first with him?" Jamey's granddad asked my dad.
"No, I think he wants answers and you are the only one who can give them at this point".
"Son, you ok?" my dad said now sitting beside me.
I saw how his gauze went down to my crotch when I didn't really answer his question.
"You will be ok Tim, don't worry. I am sure the doctor will tell you that when he gets here", Jamey's granddad said.
"I am sorry Tim. I really am" my dad said turning his head back to me. I saw tears starting to roll over his face.
"It is not your fault Dad. It is hers".
"I know but I should have not listened to her. I can hardly believe she did something like that".
"I know, me neither otherwise I would have walked out of there the moment I saw she was there to meet me for the appointment".
He looked at me still rolling tears over his face. "She changed you know Tim. She changed".
"I know Dad. Don't blame yourself".
"What happened though?" I know more or less and he looked at Jamey's granddad as he knew more about it and I think I needed to know as well.
"Ok, I guess I can better tell you. When you told me about where you were going I thought straight off I had heard the address before. I was just not sure about it. It nagged me all night. In the morning I called an old friend from the force. He thought he recognised it as well. He is still an active cop and checked the system. It seems there was an investigation going on about the place. He told me that it had been under suspicion for the last 4 years or so for illegal operations, but that they had difficulties in proving it. So when I told that you would go there that afternoon and might be able to be a witness for them. He said he would contact the investigative inspector to see if that would help. About 2 hours later I got a call from the inspector. It seems it was not high on his list. That changed though when I told what had happened to you. It seems you fitted the profile of victims that had been there. No one had the guts though to testify after it had happened. I think after the phone call he set it all in action. He wanted me to make sure I was there when it started off. So when Jamey got home I told him to go back. I followed him just after calling the inspector and telling him that you were there". He waited for a moment.
"So what did you see when you got in?"
"Well the doctor and her son were both standing beside your bed, working on you. Your mom was sitting in her chair relax reading some booklet".
"Oh, and what happened then?"
"Well Jamey got straight over to the doctor and removed her from the table. The son stood back then. When your mom started to meddle in between I got her and held her back".
"Oh, so ..."
"Yea they were working on your balls. Not sure what they were doing though. Jamey tried to help as much as he could. You were knocked out completely though it seemed. When the police got there a few minutes later together with an ambulance they took over. I think the doctor, son and your mom got arrested. It seems she consented in the operation as they found a letter saying so".
`Yea that is what they threatened to do if I would lose consciousness and it got dangerous or so".
"Well I think if I understood the inspector that was standard operations".
"Ah, so they will get them this time, being caught red-handed?" I asked.
"Presumable. I think they need to make sure that there was nothing wrong with you to start with. So they find out that it was all false".
I looked from Dad to Jamey's Granddad. I think they knew what question was coming. "You did see then what they did?" I whispered.
"Only from a distance Tim, but they said there was hope. Why do you think Jamey went with you to the hospital rubbing them"?
Then the door opened again and a swarm of doctor looking guys came into the room.
"I think we better leave for a moment" my dad said before the main doctor could say anything.
"Yea that might be a good idea. I need to do a check up as I am sure Tim is anxious to know what has happened" I just nodded a bit overwhelmed by the group of doctors that had just walked in.
When they had left the room, the doctor started to talk to his junior staff. Well it must have been junior staff as they hardly looked old enough to be doctors yet.
I didn't listen at first as there were some Latin words in it but then I zoned in as I wondered what was going on.
"... So this is not something you see a lot that is why I thought this is a good study opportunity for all of you. So what do you think we are going to see ...?"
"Hey shut up you. I am not a Guiney Pig".
The doctor turned around towards me now. I looked at him "I am sorry Doc but you were talking down there like I am not here and I am, so".
"Sorry for that Tim. But it is an unusual situation and I know this must be embarrassing for you but I hope you understand that this is something a lot of doctors only learn from the books and not from a real-time situation".
"Well if it is happening that seldom then why should they see it as it hardly will happen that they will have another patient like me".
"Hmm your senetive must have been finished as you are a sharp thinker Tim".
"Well if you are ok. I will do the check up myself. I will leave off the comments until back in the classroom next time, but they are allowed to watch ok"?
`Hmm I guess, as long as you tell me first have if I lost them".
"Ah, I wondered when you would ask Tim. That is normally the first question".
"I know but you got me distracted. SO?" I needed to know and he was not leaving until I knew.
"I am not sure yet Tim. I think they could be ok. We did all we could when you got here. If they are then you will have to thank that young man that rubbed them all the time for it otherwise we would have been to late I suspect" he said gravely.
"Ok, you better take a look then".
He nodded as they understood it. His assistants now gather around the bottom end of the bed. The doctor pushed away the blankets. I tried to look as well. "You better not Tim. Let me first okay? Even if they are ok, they won't look good".
I rested my head back on the bed. I could feel that I wanted to watch but I tried to relax.
There were some loose safety sheets on it. It seems as you noticed from the fact that I had a hard on earlier that it hadn't been packed or anything like that. I saw a few grim faces, one that even turned around. I was sure it was not good whatever it was not good I thought.
I flinched a bit when he touched something. I was not sure what it was. As it all felt very numb down there. I felt blood started to rush when he touch my dick. I could feel it getting hard and it got hard fast.
"Well that is working at least" he said.
"Ok, I am not sure Tim. But it looks ok at the moment. We need another day or two to make sure it really heals. We will keep it all under anesthetic for now because I think it might hurt otherwise too much. Daniel can you stay here and clean it and then put the gauze back onto it"?
I followed the look of the doctor to see who he had been talking with. He seems hardly old enough to be a doctor to be honest.
"Are you sure you ...?"
"Yea I think you could and I think Tim might be ok with you doing it too aren't you Tim?"
I just nodded. He looked to be just a bit older than me anyway. Better him than one of the smug ones in the group.
Oh yea I saw the grouches when they had seen my balls or what was left of them the first time, but I also saw the grins of well sarcasm in it almost as I was sure they knew what had happened. I am sure the doctor had explained it all.
"Report back to me when you are done ok? Oh and don't forget to give him the new injections ok"?
Daniel just nodded and waited until the rest were gone.
"I will try not to hurt you Tim".
"I know".
"But it needs to be cleaned and that might sting ok?"
I nodded.
"Then I will give you the injections and I will put the gauze back on".
"Ok, you do what you need to do. There is nothing I can do". I said.
"I know it looks bad Tim. But the doctor is right you know there might be a good chance that it is still going to be ok".
"I don't know Daniel and I am not hoping either. I don't think I can stand to fight for the hope and then loose it again".
"I know but my dad said ...oh oops sorry. The doctor thought you had a more than 50 – 50 chance of it being ok".
"Ah so he is your dad? I thought you looked a bit young".
"Oh well I am in here for my first year at the university and my dad made sure I would do something useful in our off peak times, so they created this extra place for me to learn".
"Ah, how old are you then?"
"I am 20".
"Oh, ok".
"You want someone else now?"
"No, I trust your dad Daniel. Go for it".
He got some stuff and started to put it on and rub as well. In the meantime, he hit my dick a few times. Again blood started to come back into it. I blushed again but Daniel kept on working like nothing was going on. I would be so embarrassed if I knew I caused it and I would definitely say something, but I thought I better.
"Sorry Daniel, but it has a will of its own".
He looked at me and blushed a bit "I know... I know the feeling".
"But why didn't you say anything Daniel?"
"We are not supposed to do that Tim. If we do then we would acknowledge it and what we learn is that we can't. How else could a man doctor do a check up on a woman"?
"Ah, I see".
"But you have nothing to be ashamed of Tim. It looks good to me".
Oh now that was a strange comment to make, or not I thought. I felt how he touched it a few more times then he looked up at me. "OK, sorry but I need to give you the injections now and I know this will hurt. You ready for them"?
"Yea do what you need to do".
He stood up and turned around, now showing his front side towards me. My eyes where at crotch height and I was sure there was more than a normal bulge in his reasonable tight trousers.
I felt how my dick responded as well and got harder even. I just hoped he wouldn't notice. He then got a syringe in his hand and moved towards my balls. I was not sure if it was the idea or real the pain when he inserted it, anyway I felt it but it was not too bad.
When he had done it he put the gauze back on and attached it to my stomach and legs.
"Ok, this should be ok for a few hours. You ok Tim?" he said looking at me.
"Yea, just wondering how it looks? It seems people keep putting pillows on my stomach while working on it".
"I know but it is better you know. It is not a great sight and we don't want you to worry".
"So you are going to loosen my hands now?"
"I can't, not yet. My... The doctor told us that it needs to stay on for at least another day or so as we have to make sure you don't touch it. It needs to be kept clean and not be touched to heal it properly. He said that a guy your age is too eager on touching it without thinking and he didn't want that to happen".
"Oh, but when?"
"Tomorrow probably, ok? I will be back later today to clean it one more time and give you some more injections ok"?
"Ok, and thanks Daniel for not embarrassing me".
"Oh no need for that Tim. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. See you later".
He left and I knew it would not stay silent too long as I am sure my dad would be back in.
I was right about that. He walked back. "You ok Son?"
I smiled "Everyone keeps telling me I will be, but I doubt it Dad. I saw the faces of the doctors a moment ago and if that tells me anything it doesn't look good".
"Oh but the doctor told me there was a good chance all would be restored".
"I don't know and I don't bet on it. It will be a last present from Mom to me I guess".
"Yea, I hope she will be sent away for quite some time. I have thrown all of her stuff out. I never want to see her again".
"You are sure Dad?"
"Yes Tim. I am very sure. I should have done it from the moment she started to be on your case. I should have stood up then this would not have happened".
"I don't know Dad, it might and it might not. But we will be together and can handle it ok"?
"I think you are stronger than I am Tim, much stronger". "We will see. I am sure I will need help with this".
"Well you have got that, just the amount of friends that are out there for you at the moment is any sign, then you will have all the help you need".
"Oh, ... I waited for a little bit and then followed with, who?"
"You know who I am sure and Michel wants to come in and join me. I am sure you are looking forward to see him".
"NO, Dad not Michel, send him home. I don't want to see him".
"What? Tim why not? Nothing has changed not for him. He still loves you".
"No, please not now Dad. I am not sure I could handle it right now".
"Are you sure? It will hurt him as well".
"If he really loves me he will understand". I said it quite confident but I was not sure he would.
"Well there is Jamey and Paul, Dennis, Brian and a few others who are already gone again".
"Oh, well if you want you can send Jamey in".
"You think Michel won't find that odd?"
"He might but ..." I looked at my dad. "I thought you would understand Dad, don't you? I don't need to finish my sentence do I"?
"Jamey has seen it, you are embarrassed for others to know about it aren't you Tim"?
I felt ashamed, yea very much I thought. I let out a deep sigh. "Send Jamey in; tell Michel I need a bit more time to see him".
"So you will".
"I might, nothing more than that".
"Ok, I will send Jamey in. I might take Michel out for something to eat, he has been here all morning".
"Ok take care of him for me Dad".
"I will Son. Take care and I will be back later".
I knew I couldn't handle a whole bunch of people today but I wanted to see Jamey. He could tell me more, he just had to. He had seen it, or even better felt it, what was left of it.
I expected him to come in but for some reason it took some time. I thought about what I wanted to ask him. I knew I could trust him. He would be honest with me and if not I would know. At last he came in. Slowly he opened the door; just with his head in he asked "You wanted to see me?"
Oh he is nervous and I suspect Michel was making a row out there.
"Yea is that not the reason you are out there waiting to see me?" I said with a smirk on my face.
"I guess yea" he said with a smile but not coming in yet.
"Well come on in then Jamey". I said hoping to convince him.
He got in now and closed the door. He got closer but then stayed more or less at the end of the bed.
"Come down here and sit down". I started to get the feeling I would need to do this step by step, slowly.
"You're ok with that?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
He got to the chair beside my bed. While he sat down I saw that he looked down at my crotch. Then he looked back at me. "You ok Tim?" he asked softly.
"I am at the moment Jamey. But then they are not telling anything and the only conclusion I can get from that is that they are gone. I will be a ball-less boy for the future".
"Don't say that. You don't know yet. They are still waiting for it to recover".
"I know, I don't dare to keep the hopes up Jamey. You have seen them. You felt them".
He blushed now.
"You must be able to tell me that they were getting colder and dying". I said softly now as well. The last thing was scaring him off.
"I don't know Tim. I am not a doctor".
"You felt them Jamey".
"I know Tim. But I can't guess. I know that one was feeling warmer then the other for sure but I have no idea what that means".
"But they were a mess to look at or not?"
"Yea it wasn't good to see Tim".
"So, you think there is any chance they will stay on?"
He looked away towards my crotch again and then down to the ground.
"Your silence is telling me enough Jamey. I don't blame you but I will be without them".
He looked at me "I am sorry Tim. I did all I could do".
"I know you did Jamey and I know you were there to push the doctor away when you walked in with your granddad".
"I did, but not sure I did well in the end. I might have damage more when she hung on to the device while I pushed her away. I might have made it worse you know".
"Worse than what? I was about to loose them for sure. Mom had signed for it and there was no way I would have kept them if it was up to her".
"Maybe but still..."
"No, stop blaming yourself Jamey. You did well and if there might be a chance it will work, then I have got you to thank for it".
"Maybe" he said. "I did my best".
"I know but not a job you hated did you Jamey?"
"Oh that is not fair Tim. It was not that nice to do remember. I might have the image of your balls like that in my mind forever".
"Ah, that might have turned you off me then also" I said with a smile trying to lighten the mood.
"No, you are Tim, and you are a person. I didn't like you for your... Ah... equipment" he said while he started to blush again.
"So you are ok then Tim?" he asked again.
"I will be as long as I have my friends close by you know".
"Oh you will have. Paul and Dennis are here and also a certain Brian. I think his partner left just as Michel's Uncle Jeff, but his partner... is still here though".
Ah more people than I thought were still out there.
"I know and I appreciate them being here. I just don't want to see them yet. I need to get a bit more used to it and talking with you helped Jamey".
"I hope so, but..."
I knew what was coming for sure then.
"But, Michel, I am sure you want to see him?"
"No, not yet" I whispered.
"He doesn't mind like I don't Tim. He is not that superficial you know.
"I know but this is not about him. I am not ready to see him. I can't deal with the idea that he will ask about it you know".
"Hmm yea I can see that that might be difficult. But you will need to do that at some point".
"I don't know I can Jamey".
"You are strong Tim, we both know you can. You can't evade them forever you know".
"Oh I might".
Jamey looked at me. He kept silent though as he was waiting for me to say more.
"You really would do that Tim?" he then asked and looked at me.
"Yea, why not? You think I want to talk with him about it? Be his ball-less boy for the future? He deserves better".
He kept quiet again. Why didn't he say something? He knew I was right.
"Would you be able to talk with your lover about it if it had happen to you Jamey?"
He kept looking almost staring to me. Waiting for me to continue but I didn't want to anymore. If he would be like this, then that was not very supportive at all. I didn't need friends like that, I needed friends that I could trust. Then it hit me, hard, uncontrollably hard and the only thing I could say to him was "Leave now Jamey, Leave".
He did but when he was at the door he looked around and said. "You know I am right just think about it. There is no way you want your mom to come out of this as the winner".
His words were hard but I had not looked at it from that point of view but for now it was too much. If I had not been tied to the bed I would have thrown something at him. Now I just looked away.
Oh damn. He was right of course but it was not something I could deal with now. I screamed and my dad came walking in.
"What is wrong Tim?"
"Nothing, I just want to be left alone but could you please put on the TV"?
He looked at me.
"Well I will do that because I know you can't, but whatever you just did I think Jamey was not happy with it".
"I was not happy with him and I have to deal with it and so will he. Now can I just watch some TV?"
"Can I stay and watch with you?"
I looked at him. "I won't say anything ok".
"Fine, yea if you want".
He found a movie that was quite fun. He kept his promise and didn't say a thing. It was strange though as I hardly ever had done anything like that before with him. When the movie was finished I looked at him. "You liked that Dad?"
"Yea not a bad movie was it?"
"No definitely not. I never knew you watched movies though".
"Oh I did before... I got married. I read a lot of books too".
"Ah, never knew that either".
"Well I think you are going to find out a lot more and I am sure I will do the same about you Tim. I am really looking forward to that".
"I know me too".
"So how are you feeling?"
"Not to bad. But I wouldn't mind getting some food again. I am quite hungry".
"Ok, let me see what is out there ok. I wouldn't be surprised if that cute volunteer is back out there somewhere waiting to feed you".
I just smiled.
"Ok, be right back then ok?"
"Ok Dad".
The volunteer must have been very close by as he walked in within a minute after my dad had left the room.
"You must have smelled the food as I was just about to come in and see if you were hungry. It is dinner time. You woke up quite late this morning you know".
"Thanks, I am hungry".
"I thought so, so how are you doing then and how are you handling the restraints"?"I am ok and I am probably ok with them but then there is more to it isn't there?"
"That is the attitude Tim".
"Well just before you entered this morning, I did think otherwise to be honest".
"Hmm you thought about killing yourself? Is that why your hands are still tied down"?
"No, I didn't tell anyone I just had the thought when I woke up and realized what had happened".
"Well, it is not a solution Tim and there is so much more to discover out there, so much more to learn even without... well you know".
"I am still not sure about that but you might be right. I learned today more about my dad than I did in the last month or so".
"See, so don't give up and if you feel like you're on the edge call me ok? We can talk at least before you do anything".
"You wouldn't stop me afterwards?"
"No, but I would make sure you would change your mind, if not then you would do it anyway the moment I turn my back. I just want you to promise me to call first ok"?
"Ok, I will" he gave me his card with his phone number. He held the card, so that I could read his name. H. M. Winston a preppy name I thought.
"Now open your mouth and let's get the food in".
I smiled but opened my mouth as well. He did most of the talking and I knew what he was doing. He was telling me why he decided to die and then what made him live as well. But I let him. When I was finished he said "Ok I have to go I have one more patient to see. Just promise me to call me ok"?
"I will".
"Oh and Daniel is out there he should be in soon. He will need to change all of your bandages I suspect. See I always knew he had the fun parts of the job to do". He smiled and walked out.
Wow was he gay too? Or... well mixed signals for sure I thought.
He had been right as almost immediately Daniel walked in.
"Better now with a full stomach Tim?"
"Yea definitely I needed that".
"OK, well I am going to clean it again, then another injection and then I suspect all those friends outside will come in".
"Oh, ok, well we better get it done with then".
"You have a good time with Winston? He can sometimes be a bit too much you know".
"OH he was ok. But he said you had the better parts of the job".
I could saw that he blushed, Hmm gay as well or suspected at least.
He pulled off the blankets again and then took the gauze off. He sat down beside the bed to take a closer look at my balls I gathered.
"Hmm, I would say it looks better Tim. But I will give you another injection after I have cleaned it as I am not sure it still won't hurt anymore".
"Don't talk about it do it Daniel" I said.
"Oh but we have learned to tell our patients what we are doing".
"Ok well get on with it".
"Hmm, this might be a bit difficult but I have to take the catheter out as well. I hope there is nothing left in there"?
Now it was my time to blush. "No go ahead I think".
As expected my dick had already gone a bit hard while he was looking at my balls but when he touched it and slowly started to subtract the tube it got harder very fast.
"Relax Tim, nothing to worry about".
"I know but still. You are touching it, so it is a normal reaction".
When it was out he held it a bit longer I thought. He then looked up to me, he tugged on it a few times and said "Well there is nothing wrong with it, it is nice and solid".
"Yea you are just having fun doing this. I guess Winston was right about it".
"Sorry Tim. I am normally not this informal with my patients but this is not easy to do for either for us, so I thought while trying to lighten the mood. Or at least most parts". He said, laughing out loud.
He stood up and then said "Look I have the same problem".
I looked at him. "You are gay too then?"
"Yea so I though I better tell you".
"Ok, well not sure if this is making it easier as I felt how my dick jump a bit more".
"Well we are almost done. I just need to put a clean tube in and the injections and then it is done".
He did it fast and swiftly, although careful as well as he kept looking at my face to see if I was in any pain.
"Ok, almost done and then I will see you tomorrow morning again".
"Daniel, this is all stuff that can be done by a nurse not a doctor to be. Why are you doing it"?
"Because my dad asked me too and that is my status, yea I am a doctor to be but not yet and that means I am more or less nothing more than a nurse with some medical knowledge. Let's say he lets me handle the more sensitive cases and those where the patient need some one to talk with instead of a nurse that is in and out".
"Ah, so I am a sympathetic case then?"
"No, I was interested in you the moment my dad told me about it".
"Oh, that I have no balls?"
"Oh you will so don't worry about them. But I have to go as I think there are some friends out there waiting for you".
Before I could even protest he opened the door and told whoever was out there I was ready for them.
Then they all came barging in. Paul, Dennis, Brian, Martin, it seems they just continued the talk they had outside already. I saw that Jamey stayed close by Willem as well. Now there is something that might be interesting to watch I thought. I looked behind them as I was afraid that Michel would turn up as well. When Brian was close enough though he gave me a kiss on my cheek and whispered "Don't worry he has gone home". I think at that point my smile came back to my face. The others did their hugs and kisses as well, even Paul which surprised me.
We talked about what had happened at school that day, about how Seph was doing etc. It seems that Brian had been in contact with Justin and Brandon as well but they were not able to join them that night. Otherwise almost all of the gang would have been here. It was nice to see them and talk with them. Even I forgot for a while I was there. It was quite suddenly though when a nurse came in and said that it was time for me to go to sleep. I got some sleeping pills from her and even before they had all said goodbye I was gone into dreamlands.
If you want to respond please let me know. You can do that through noway16@hotmail.com. All of my stories can also be found at www.timsfunplace.com