Disclaimer: This is just fiction and there isn't an ounce of truth about the sexuality of the Nsync boys in here. At least not as far as I know. If you're below 18 or if you don't want to read fiction about homosexuality, do not go further than this line.
Note: Thanks to all those who sent feedback!
Justin placed a mug of tea in front of JC as he sat at the table in their bus' kitchenette. It had taken him about 10 minutes of silent comfort but he had managed to calm JC down a little. Then the two of them had faced the rest of the group. JC just mumbled an apology and something about feeling ill. The guys didn't buy it but they didn't push him for an explanation either, knowing that he will tell them soon enough if it was important. Chris had taken one look at Justin dazed expression and knew that whatever was going on, at least Justin knew about it. Despite his age, Justin was mature beyond his years and even if he couldn't handle this, Chris knew that Justin had the smarts to come to him for help if he needed it. That was the main reason that Chris hadn't pushed JC for answers. They had all then headed back to their bus, making its way to the next and final concert venue. Joey, Lance and Chris went directly to their bunks and turned in early. Justin however stopped JC from doing the same and steered him to the bus' mini-kitchen, forcing him to sit down as he made him some tea. "Are you ready to talk about it?" JC met Justin's unwavering gaze, then looked back down. "Talk about what?" He heard the sharp release of breath and looked up again. "I take that as a no." Justin said, his blue eyes flashing with repressed anger. "Nothing happened, Justin. I'm just..." "Stop it, JC! I heard what you said. I know you as well as I know myself if not better! Something happened tonight. You saw someone! Who was it? And why did you say you killed him? What's going on?" Justin asked, angrily. JC stood up abruptly and turned away from Justin. "Nothing's going on!" Justin felt his temper rise. "Who the hell are you trying to convince here!?" "Just back off, Justin!" JC shouted as he whirled around to face Justin. They glared at each other, silently facing off. Finally Justin shook his head. "I though we were friends, JC. I've always told you everything. You are the only one who knows about me and Matt. I trusted you enough to tell you about him. Why can't you trust me enough to tell me about whatever this is?" Justin asked, struggling to hold back the tears that threatened. JC looked down in shame. He knew he was hurting his friend by not trusting him enough to tell him what was going on especially since Justin had trusted him enough to tell him his biggest secret. It had been difficult for Justin to come out and tell him that he was gay. It had happened 6 months ago. JC had been shell-shocked for personal reasons but recovered enough to let Justin know that he still respected the younger man the same as before. Justin had taken a leap of faith by telling him and now expected him to take a similar leap. Could he? JC looked up and met Justin's pained gaze. He went over to Justin and hugged him. "I'm sorry, Curly. I didn't mean to make you think I don't trust you. I do. I trust you with my life." JC pulled back to look into Justin's eyes, his own expression pained and troubled. "But this isn't just about my life. It affects all of us. If I tell you, Nsync could well be over. I'm afraid, Justin. Hell! I'm fucking terrified." Justin knew that this was really serious. JC never swore. "If this affects all of us, then more the reason you should tell us, JC. Look, no matter what I'll be there for you. Nothing you say or do is gonna change that." "I'll tell you, Justin but not now. Tomorrow's the last show. Then we head on home. I'll tell you everything once we are home. I can't do this here." Justin nodded. "I understand. But once we get home, you talk to me. Ok?" JC nodded then smiled. "Thanks for being here for me." Justin returned the smile. "You're my best friend, Josh. Where else would I be?" JC felt his heart ache at Justin's words but pushed aside his feelings as he always had done. "So how are you and Matt doing?" JC asked, changing the subject. Justin noticed the change of subject and let him. "How do you think we are doing? He couldn't make it to all those meeting we agreed on. The only contact we have are late-night phone calls. And of course there that whole is Britney thing." "He still doesn't believe there nothing between Britney and you?" "No. And I don't blame him. It's all those tabloids that keep reporting spotting us together. If Johnny lets me, I'll be suing their ass!" "It would be pointless anyway. They aren't damaging your reputation or anything with those reports." "Yeah but they are destroying my relationship." JC smiled but didn't say anything. Justin caught a look on his face. "What?" "Hmm?" JC asked. "I saw that look." "What look?" "That 'I want to say something but I better not' look." What were you about to say?" Justin asked. "I wasn't......" JC began as he went over to the sink to wash his mug. "Don't even try. I know you too well, Shazam." JC smiled. "Fine. I was about to say that if trust isn't a part of it, then it isn't much of a relationship." Justin sighed and sat down. JC wondered if he said the wrong thing. "I'm sorry, Curly. I should have said that. You and Matt have..." "It's ok. It's just that you've spoken the words that I've been thinking about this past week." Justin said as he looked down at his interlocked fingers. JC wiped his hands on the towel near the sink and sat down too. "What do you mean?" "I'm just so sick of this. There are times when I miss Matt like crazy. All I want to do is hear his voice. Then we do talk, somehow the subject would turn to Britney or y...some other guy or about how I 'don't give a damn about this relationship'. We end up in this fight and I have to apologize. God knows why I do it but I always apologize just so we don't hang up the phone being angry with each other. It sucks and yet I do it every time!" "I guess that's what love does." "Does it? I can't help but wonder if I really love Matt. Shouldn't love be about being happy?" Justin asked wearily. JC didn't want to speak the words that were coming but as a friend he knew he had to do it. "I guess love is about being happy together and miserable apart. The tour is always difficult on relationships. Chris and Danielle could tell us that. You and Matt have been apart for a while now. Once you are together, you will think differently. The tour is ending tomorrow, Justin. Then you will have the time to figure this out. And not just alone. With Matt. Until then, just try to remember the good times." JC advised. Justin nodded and grinned. "You know what? You should write for an uncle agony column. You're so good at this." "Thanks...I think." Justin stood up. "No. Thank * you *. This conversation was supposed to be about you and somehow you end up helping me." JC had briefly forgotten about what had happened earlier as he always did when he was with Justin and the rest of his friends. They hadn't known about his past and secret. And now, everything could so easily be changed or destroyed. Justin saw the look on JC's face. "I'm not going to push, JC. You said you will tell me once we are home and I trust you. I'll wait till you're ready." Justin said as he gave JC's hand a squeeze. JC smiled and nodded. "I'm turning in. I'm exhausted. Coming?" Justin asked as he stretched his arms over his head. "Yeah. I'll be glad when tomorrow night is done. This tour was exhausting man!" JC said as he closed the lights in the kitchenette. "That will teach us to write all these fast-beat numbers!" Justin said as he climbed into his bunk under Chris' bunk. "Maybe we are just getting old." JC said as he took his bunk opposite Justin's and under Joey's. "Speak for yourself, Old man! I'm still a teenager!" Justin quipped as he pulled the blankets over him. "Not for long, Curly." JC returned. "How about you two shut up and let me get some shut eye!" Chris' voice floated down from above Justin. Justin and JC chuckled and went to sleep. JC felt some of the tension slip. On hindsight he wondered if he had imagined everything. If he had, should he still tell Justin? Would Justin drop it, if he acted as if nothing had happened? JC decided to take the day as it came. He refused to let himself think about the events that had happened. However, his subconscious had other plans. Tbc...