Hi, I'm Lance Chapter 8
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Feedback is welcome on this book. Hi, I'm Lance really touches me. I hope you enjoy it.
—
Meeting No. 11 August 12
"Hi, I'm Lance. And I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi Lance," the group replied.
"Last month I crashed my car. I drank too much and got behind the wheel. The judge indefinitely suspended my license. I had to attend 10 meetings. This is my 11th. My license is no longer suspended. However, I'm still here. I can't deny that these meetings have helped. The people here, feeling like I'm not alone in this ... it means a lot. The thought of getting behind the wheel after a drink is pretty scary to me now. I haven't had a drink in almost six weeks. I hope to get a car this weekend. See this brace on my wrist? The doctor says it can come off Friday."
I looked at my wrist.
"So, you'd think I would feel like everything is all better now. And ... and things are better. I perform so much better at work. I'm enjoying it. I'm getting to know the members there. I'm almost healed. But ... every day. Every. Single. Day. I still see my father picking me up in the hospital. I couldn't bear to look at his face, I was so ashamed. I glanced at it once. It had pity. Sympathy. Disappointment. It was all over his face. Thankfully, I saw the love in his eyes. But I was so ashamed. I never wanted to feel that shame again. So even though the wrist and the arm and the bruises healed, some things never can.
"But I'm proud of the step I have made. Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, my name is Cooper. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Cooper," the group replied.
"I've got a place of my own. It's not fancy, that's for sure. I'm seeing my boyfriend now. We just started `officially' as my divorce is now final. I'm out to the coworkers at my job.
"My wife gets a lot of my paycheck. And the house. So, money has changed a lot. I guess I'll have to get used to that. It's a bit of a jolt, but ... I'm an accountant. I'm good at handling money. It'll get better. Eventually. I just have to figure things out.
"As crummy as all that sounds, I'm me. Me. I'm not pretending. I'm not lying. I'm really me. The real me may not have the spending money I used to, but I can be in love how I truly want to be. And I am. So, I'm okay. And I'm not drinking, so that lets me know everything I'm feeling is the real deal.
"The more I wrestled with who I was, the more I drank. Then I knew who I was and hid it. That made me drink more. Until I didn't stop. I became a horrible person at home.
"I'm glad that isn't me anymore. I like who I am now.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
Two newcomers introduced themselves and gave a little background. Then the meeting was over.
Ophelia put the coffee away while Jakob, Cooper and I helped with the chairs. I hadn't noticed Cooper helping before.
"Ophelia, you are looking fine, girl. More beautiful than ever," I said.
"Don't make me come over there and kiss you, you flatterer."
"Should I be jealous?" Jakob asked.
Ophelia looked at both of us. "Jealous? Are you two seeing each other?"
We sheepishly grinned.
"Aw. Fellas. I ..." she stopped. "I think you are aware that it is considered very risky to get involved in a relationship your first year of sobriety. It really can have catastrophic consequences."
We nodded indicating we knew that.
"I care for you both. I don't want anything to happen," she followed. "Please, please be careful."
"We are," I offered. "It's more of a caring friendship at this point."
"Again, be careful. Take it slow. Let you find yourselves first. Become a strong person."
"Lance is a source of my strength," Jakob said.
"That's the point. If it doesn't work, you could severely relapse."
"I won't. Thinking about sleeping on a park bench is a big eye-opener. Lance or no Lance — I want to be my best. I want to be sober. Besides, I know he won't want me too long anyway. I'm not real boyfriend material."
"Jakob!" Ophelia said. "Be kind to yourself."
"I am." Jakob paused. "So is Lance. I know I can't ... we can't ... go too far."
I gave him a look of disagreement. I didn't like it when he was down on himself.
"Well, I am here for both of you." Ophelia made sure we both had her number. "If you feel you can be strong..."
"I really think Jakob is helping me get over Trent," I said.
"But don't let him replace one issue with another," she again reminded.
"He's not. I'm growing. I'm feeling stronger every day. I think you are making it out to be more than it is. As a backup, would you consider being a sponsor to both of us?"
Ophelia stared at us and let her mouth slip into a smile. "Let's go celebrate. My treat. This calls for cake."
I noticed Cooper out of the corner of my eye. He didn't seem ready to leave but also wasn't visiting with anyone.
"Cooper? Would you care to join us?"
He looked at me earnestly. Cooper was a quiet person. I liked him but didn't know him too well.
"You're with the other two gay guys in the group," I said, motioning a hand back and forth between Jakob and me. "No judgement here." My head made a nod motioning him our direction.
"Um. Okay."
Udder Delights had ice cream cake, so Ophelia bought one. It was large enough for us all to share, particularly since none of us wanted a ton of calories. Or that's what we told ourselves. We consumed it all. For several minutes there were just simple "Mmms" with each spoonful.
"So, spill, guys," she said.
"Well, we're taking it slow," I said. "That's best for both of us. We just enjoy each other's company. Our time together has been very heartfelt."
Jakob reached for my hand and kissed it.
"I'm happy for you guys," Cooper said. "I know the joy of companionship right now."
Ophelia's body language got tense again. "You guys ... please, please don't do anything risky. Romance this early can really backfire."
"I just got divorced because I'm gay. How much more can it backfire?"
"When you are new to sobriety, it doesn't take a lot to set you back," Ophelia warned.
"I hope things smooth out for you," Jakob said. "In time, things will work themselves out."
"I think so," Cooper said. "I feel bad for my family. It was a disruption. My wife ... ex-wife ... had to feel blindsided. We're not in a good place right now. A lot of that was the drinking though."
"How's your son doing?" I asked.
"The divorce is tough. I have no idea how to share with him that I'm gay. That is sure to weird him out."
"Not if you don't make it weird." I felt hypocritical. "Of course, I'm not one to talk. I was in denial all through college."
"Try 36."
"When did you come to accept it?" Jakob asked.
"I knew two or three years ago. I mean — knew. I couldn't get men out of my mind. Then I would try to push it away. I'd believe I could be straight for a week, then I'd think about men again. I started looking at men online. A little porn, but not a lot. Porn scared me; then I felt disgusted for watching it. I felt guilty every time I checked it out. Huge guilt! I'd drink to help forget. I knew my family would never accept it. And I knew I was in a heterosexual marriage. So, I started drinking more."
"When did your wife realize? Did she know before you told her?"
"We had drifted. It wasn't like we fought; we just weren't as affectionate anymore. I still loved Natalie, in my own way. But I wasn't being satisfied, well sexually ... or even emotionally. I'm sure she wasn't either. We hardly had sex that last year."
"How did you tell her?" Ophelia asked.
"It was tough. My coworker and I ... we sort of casually flirted for a few weeks. He knew I was married. Finally, he pressured me into taking it further. I knew what I wanted; I wanted him. More than my wife. We'd sneak away to kiss here and there at work. Then a bit further. Finally, one day we snuck away at lunch to his place. I should have felt guilty for sleeping with someone else, and I imagine I did a little, but mostly I felt trapped. I couldn't breathe. I needed out, but I had a son. I just drank to try to forget. I hated that my son saw me drink that much, but I was ... lost."
"Kids are more resilient than you think," Ophelia offered. "I think you should come clean with him."
"I get him for a weekend in two weeks. I ... hope to tell him then. If I'm brave enough."
"As someone who has just recently accepted that he is gay and has come out, I can tell you any awkward moments are far less horrible than the hiding and the lying. You'll breathe better," I said.
"I have to agree," Jakob inserted. "My life fell apart when my parents kicked me out. It ... has been tough, not good. But just being honest was a breakthrough for me. I hated hiding it from my parents, even as a teen."
"No one deserves what you had to go through," I said to Jakob.
"So, ... this coworker. How serious?" Ophelia asked Cooper.
"Pretty serious. We see each other frequently. Our love life is ... really good. I just ... I don't know ... I think I'm in love. Maybe in a true way for the first time. I remember when he followed me from the copy room and came up to my office ... we were the only two there ... and he said, `I know that I want you.'"
"I know that I want you, Lance," Jason said to me. He had watched me in the gym shower a few times. Jason was a manager at the gym.
"What do you mean?" I softly said, drying off in the corner of the locker room.
"You've seen me looking at you. I've seen you get hard as I look at your ... amazing cock. If you want to, we could have a sensational time."
It hadn't occurred to me that he had come into the locker room just because he knew I was in there.
"Like where? When?"
"I can offer you sex like you've never had," he softly said, leaning close to me. "I lock down my office at 9 o'clock. If you'd like to have some fun, be outside."
Wow, this guy was forward. He was right. I had watched him look at me in the shower room. I knew he worked here at the gym. I thought it was a bit weird, but truth be told, I loved it when guys looked at me. Naked. I did get hard when he was watching me. I wondered if I should meet him. His offer was intriguing.
He was so confident about the "best sex." It would be hard to top what happened with Trent and that professor last week. That was so crazy, crazy hot. A three-way. I doubted if this Jason could top that. But now I wanted to find out.
I hung outside the gym entrance at closing time. Jason came out, locked up and pulled off his nametag.
"Follow me" was all he said.
I got in my car and followed his. It was a Mini Cooper. He looked stylish in it. Jason's house was a few miles away. We got there in less than five minutes.
"Let me fix you a drink, honey," he said as we both walked in.
His house was nice. Everything was immaculate. Like not even a throw pillow was out of place. The furnishings were just like him: full of style. He returned with two beers and two frozen pilsners. Classy.
We sat in the living room. After a few sips of his beer, he pulled off his shirt. He had some light patches of hair on his chest. I liked that. It was kind of like Trent's, but darker.
Jason asked me about my classes, my degree, my plans for the future. Curiously, after a few minutes, it almost sounded like a job opportunity brewing.
"If your grades are good, I'm looking for someone with a management degree. You've been a loyal customer at the gym. It could be a good fit."
"Sounds promising," I said.
"Take your shirt off, beautiful," he said. Firmly.
I figured that was why I was there, so I did so without hesitation.
"It's time to get out of these too," he said, pulling off his pressed pants.
I pulled off my jeans. I was just in briefs and socks. My erection was pressing against the fabric. It was quite the bulge. Jason took my hand and placed it on his silk boxers. They were shimmery and slick. I liked sliding my hand over them, feeling his hard-on below. His hand grabbed my crotch. He rubbed the entire length of my strained length, sliding his fingers in small circles over the cotton.
I let my hand slip under the waistband. My fingers wrapped around his stiff dick.
"That's it," he breathed.
I stroked his cock for a minute. He reached down and pulled his silk boxers off. I could see the manicured package in full view. His anatomy might have been five inches, and it looked like something that would be carved on a statue.
"Your turn," he said.
I pulled off my briefs and my cock stood out like a club. Jason moved off the couch and knelt before me.
"The first time I saw this gargantuan tool, I knew I wanted it."
His tongue touched the tip of its head. He pulled his tongue back inside his mouth to moisten it. Then he traced around the rim underneath the mushroom shape on the end of my manhood. I breathed in a quick rush of air. Jason then slowly and gracefully swallowed my cock. I had received blowjobs before, but he engulfed the entire length. His deep throat skills were evident.
"Wow," I said.
He sucked me for a few minutes. Then he took his mouth off my rod. His lips kissed the end of it, then moved to my belly, up to my chest, licked my nipples and then his mouth attacked mine. We kissed deeply.
"What would you really like? Want me to bring you off by sucking or fucking?"
"I'm okay with either," I said, innocently.
"Let's move to my bed."
We walked naked to the bedroom.
"When was the last time you were fucked?" he asked me.
"A friend on the basketball team fucked me last week. His dick is gorgeous."
"Trust me, sweetie. When it comes to dicks, no one will outdo you. Let's fuck."
Within seconds, a bottle of lube appeared. I turned my body onto my stomach. Jason's bed was incredibly soft. It seemed everything about it was luxurious, down to the pillowcases. He had me slide a towel below me. I'm sure lube dripping on these nice sheets was not an option. He fingered my hole, making it slippery. Like his oral skills, his fingers really stimulated my interior. It was soothing and arousing at the same time. The pressure on the mattress indicated he was moving his body above me. I felt his dick push inside me. It took a second to adjust to the penetration, but I did. His fingers had prepared me a little. It hurt a moment, but I relaxed to it pretty quickly. He placed his hands on my shoulders and began a rhythm that felt nice. He glided in and out of me, softly moaning. It was almost like a recording, it sounded almost distant.
He began pumping my ass harder. My guttural moans joined with his, and we forged a vocal unity in our pleasure. He moved his hands to my neck, almost around my throat. It was close to feeling strangled. I didn't feel threatened, but it was not for me.
Jason got loud. His hips were really thrusting with force. He dropped onto me with the full weight of his body draped over mine. Our skin was searing hot pressed together. We were being melded, laminated. His thrusts were more intense as if he tried to push further in exploration down my tunnel. His moans were right in my ear. I felt he was on the verge of coming. Then I felt him withdraw his dick from my ass.
"Turn over," he commanded.
I rotated my body to be on my back. He was above me, straddling me. His hand pulled on his cock with extreme speed.
Jason went a full 50 seconds of screaming without interruption. He didn't take a breath. He built into a crescendo as his stiff organ spurt like a lawn sprinkler being turned on. His cum sprayed on my pecs. Then another wave hit. And more. Near the end of his scream, the cum had dwindled into dribs and drabs from his erection. I thought it was hot. But not as hot as Trent coming inside me.
"Marvelous," he cooed. "Now let's get your massive cock what it deserves."
He sucked me for a few more minutes. I moaned in pleasure. His hand grabbed my phallus and the pounding started. His forceful strokes stimulated the bottom half of my shaft as his blowjob pleasured the end half. I groaned at the double nature of the experience.
"That feels so good, Jason."
He hummed in acknowledgement of my statement. I felt him squeeze my cock tighter. He rubbed it with the force of a bear. Appropriately, I growled. A finger slipped back inside my ass, and it probed around hitting some sensual spots that made me call out. His bravado had some weight behind it. He was good, and I was the recipient of his skills.
"I'm about to come," I said.
"Yeah! Come on my face, Lance."
He placed his face next to my dick and I shot ropes of thick cum onto his cheek. He turned to take one blast in his mouth. When my ejaculations reduced to small drips oozing from my cock, his tongue was there to catch them.
I sighed in a moment of relaxing bliss following my orgasm.
A towel emerged and we cleaned up a bit. He tore open a wetnap, and soon our face, crotches and hands smelled like lemon.
"Two things for next time. I'll make sure I have condoms so I can come inside you. Let's also have you bring an overnight bag to sleep here."
That was a clear signal that I was to go home. "Okay."
"I knew I wanted you, Lance."
"And I wanted my coworker more than anything," Cooper said. "My feelings were off the chart. Even after only a couple of months, I know I'm in love with him. I want to spend every waking moment with him."
"I love that you are finding true love, Cooper," Ophelia said, "But it's new for you. It's okay to take your time."
"I took 20 years," he said. "I remember when I was learning to ... well, you know ... as a kid. I sometimes pictured boys in my class while I did it. Then everyone started dating, and I felt pressure to date girls too. I liked them. They were nice. I just never ... wanted them. I have no idea how I avoided this for so long. This denial. Ugh. What a waste of time."
"But you have a wonderful son, right?" Ophelia said.
"I do," Cooper agreed.
"Then it isn't a waste of time," Jakob said. "Never let him think you don't love him."
I looked at Jakob. How horrible it must be to think your parents don't love you. I hate that he has to feel that.
"He knows I love him. I tell him every time we're together. But I do need to really have that heart-to-heart with him."
"Here's my phone number," I said, showing him my cell screen. "If you ever need to talk, you can call me."
"Wow. Thanks," said Cooper, entering my contact info to his phone. "Hopefully not, but it's nice to know you are there. Thank you, Lance."
—
Mike was gone away for a few days before reporting back to school. Trent asked if we could do dinner.
"Is it hard knowing he is traveling without you?" I asked.
"For both of us," Trent said. "I am glad he took some time away and didn't just miss out on that opportunity because of me. Vacation can be a reset, so he needed that. But, yeah, I miss him."
"You could text him dirty pictures."
"You mean ... like this," Trent said, showing me his phone.
He had pulled up a picture of himself naked. His cum was splattered all over his chest. He let me see it for a few seconds and then pulled it away.
"Feel free to email that to me," I said humorously.
"You wish."
"I totally wish," I said with complete clarity.
"Mike has always said how dangerous it is to send such pictures because they can somehow unexpectedly come back to haunt you. Then he sends me this."
Trent showed me a picture of Mike only wearing a T-shirt with his hard-on visible below it.
"Send me that one too."
"Actually, I was supposed to delete this after I got it. That's a T-shirt I gave him for his birthday. He texted me this shortly after that weekend before we went to bed. I really should delete it."
"But it is adorable," I said.
"It is, isn't it."
"How serious are you two?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's been the whole summer now. What does the future for you two look like?"
Trent's brow wrinkled as he got lost in thought.
"Well, I don't know. It has been almost three months. We're in a great place. We love each other so much. It would be nice to live together, but I do have a six-month lease, so I figure things will continue like this for a while. By the holidays, we'll know how to move forward."
"So, everything is still blissful. No arguments? No boredom? Sex is still good?"
"No, no and yes. For the most part."
"And what does that mean?"
"We disagreed over something lately, but we worked through that. Sex is pretty much twice a week, but it's always great." Trent thought a moment. "How about you? Are you and Jakob ... well, where are you with things?"
"Kissing, no sucking."
"Ah. And you are okay with this?"
"Well, eventually I hope we become very intimate. But I care too much to rush him. His past has been rough."
"You don't worry this is ... too much?"
I was confused. "For him or me?"
"Both. He seems like ... he has a lot to ... contend with. It's a lot for you to accept."
"I crashed my car while intoxicated. I'm not a pure, innocent flower. I come with my own baggage."
"Fair enough." Trent changed the subject. "How's work?"
"Good, actually. Now that my head is on straight, I feel like I'm getting into it. I've gotten to know so many members now. I'm pretty good at remembering their names. So when I am walking around at work, I can address them by name. It's a nice change — like addressing neighbors and friends." I paused a moment thinking I was enjoying work. That was a good thing. "And you?"
"Loving it. I fit in so well there. I like them, they like me. I love what I do."
"Dad is in town this weekend. I'm getting a new car. Would you like to join us for dinner Saturday?"
"Mike will still be gone. I'd love it. Sure, drive it over to my place."
—
I couldn't wait for Dad to get here. The last time I saw him in person was the night of the accident. We had talked regularly, but I was excited to see him. He pulled up around 11. Evan and I greeted him at the door.
I held up my wrist. "Got the brace off yesterday!"
"Great! It feels okay?" Dad said, hugging me.
"Yeah. I'm good."
"You look great. How much weight have you lost?"
"Almost 20 pounds. I can't get the last couple to drop off. Evan has been great in helping me eat right."
Dad greeted Evan and they talked a moment. Evan talked about his job and how he was enjoying it, as well as living in Jackson Bend.
The three of us went out to an early lunch, which allowed us the entire afternoon to look at cars.
—
At 7:10, Dad and I drove up to Trent's apartment in a new Honda CR-V. Trent came out and oohed and aahed over everything from the shade of blue to the new car smell.
"You know, I actually got used to commuting by bike. It wasn't bad. It probably helped even burn off a few extra calories. But it will be nice to be able to go long distances again. And to go pick up Jakob."
"Does Jakob have a car?" Dad asked.
"He does, but I'm not sure how reliable. He tends to walk to the meetings and work."
"Tell me about him," Dad said.
"How about over dinner."
We drove to Jake's. After we ordered and our server brought us drinks, we settled in for conversation.
"So, will I be meeting Jakob? Why didn't he join us?"
"We're kind of taking it slow. He thought maybe it was a bit too early to meet you."
"Is he seeing other people?"
"Oh no. Just me. But he's had a very hard past. His family kicked him out when he was 17 for being gay."
"Goodness. That's harsh."
"It was bad. He's a survivor, but life hasn't been throwing him any favors. But he likes his job and goes regularly to the meetings. He's on the right path."
"So, do you date him because you like him or because you feel sorry for him?" Dad asked.
Trent looked at me like he had wanted to ask the same question but was afraid to. They both leaned forward for my answer.
"I'm not sure `dating' is the right word to describe us. We're close friends ... but affectionate. To say I didn't feel sorry for what he has had to go through would be untrue. So, yes, I do feel sorry for him a little. A few of us go out after the meetings and that's when I really could talk with him and got to know him. He's very kind, despite what life has thrown at him."
The three of us were quiet a moment.
"How did you know Mom was the right one for you? I mean, I'm so new at this," I said to Dad.
"You never get skilled at love, I'll tell you that, son." Dad looked up at the ceiling. "With your mom ... I guess I had dated a few girls before her. We enjoyed our time together. It was always pleasant. I would make another date and we'd go out." Dad then looked at me. "Then I started seeing Carol. Somehow your mother was different. I just didn't `make' a date. I couldn't wait to see her again. It was before cell phones — yes, there was a world before them — so we weren't in constant contact. I thought about her all the time. It wasn't in just a romantic way, it was a ... I don't know ... I wanted her to be a part of my day, every day. That probably doesn't come off right; it doesn't make sense."
"It makes perfect sense," I said. "Even though we are taking things slow, I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to hold his hand at the meeting. To kiss goodnight ... it's special. I can't wait to see him tomorrow, so ... to circle back to your question, I really do like him."
Dad smiled at me. "I can see you do." He winked at Trent.
Our food arrived. Dad had a bacon cheeseburger, Trent had ordered a shrimp pasta dish and I had a turkey wrap with fresh fruit. The way they looked at my food, you'd thought it was from another country. They smiled at me. Even without saying it, they were proud of me for making good choices.
Halfway through the meal, I thought about bringing something up, but wondered if it was not a good time.
"Dad, you and Trent had both mentioned Oliver to me last month. What's that all about?"
"Well, to be ..." Dad swallowed his food. "To be honest, I've worried for years that Oliver gave you a bad impression of yourself."
"Him? How?"
"Well, when I first began to suspect you might be gay, every time he rattled off a slur or an insult using a homophobic or prejudiced term, I could see your face react. It was like you were pelted with a water balloon. I fear he made you doubt yourself. Or reject what you were truly feeling."
"Huh. I never thought of that. I mean, yeah, all through high school and most of college ... well, all of college, I just thought it was `having fun' with guys. `Fooling around, experimenting.' But I couldn't be gay. That wasn't me. So, you think Oliver was an influence?"
"I'm not a psychologist, but by just watching you, yes, I do think he helped form your self-esteem."
"Or lack of it," I said.
"Really?" Trent asked. "You always seemed so confident and sure of yourself. I didn't even like you at the beginning of our senior year because you seemed so arrogant with the team."
"I felt that was who I was supposed to be."
"How did you two become so close?" Dad asked.
Trent looked at me like he wasn't going to say a word.
"Well. Neither of us had come out," I started. "There would be a glance in the locker room here or there. We had sort of a `chance encounter' one evening. It didn't really go much past that, but it started us talking."
"Both of us probably needed a friend to talk to," Trent inserted. "After we ... `fooled around' ... once, we started opening up to each other. Soon we could tell each other anything. I just saw more to Lance. I guess I saw the real Lance for the first time. He's not the longest friend I've had, but he's the closest. He always has my back."
"Always," I echoed. "Had I not been in denial, I probably would have gone after Trent. But I always pushed myself back from that. It was my big mistake. He had met Mike at the same time, and they fell in love. It was my loss, but thankfully the two of us still have an amazing friendship."
"There aren't a lot of friends who can tell each other that they love them, but Lance and I do constantly. He'll always be my best buddy; I'll always love him," Trent said.
I bumped his shoulder in an "Aw, shucks" gesture.
"Even though he is in love with an incredible guy, Trent will always be my soulmate, even if it is just as a best friend."
Dad watched us smile at each other.
"Impressive," he said. "While I am happy that you and Mike are wonderful together, I can't help but wish that you and my son could have had a chance."
I kissed Trent on the cheek. "He and Mike are magic together. I hope to have what they have one day."
My father was so incredible, so supportive. Here I was talking about loving men and kissing Trent and talking about the two of us having fooled around — and I felt okay with it. And Dad was fine with who I was. Being "out" was so liberating. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Trent and Jakob. They didn't have that.
The rest of the visit consisted of hearing about Dad's life. We dropped Trent off and returned to my apartment.
"Are you sure you want to make the drive back? You can stay at our place. I can let you sleep in my room."
"I'm fine. It won't be too late when I get back."
"Hold on a minute," I said, walking to the bedroom.
I dialed Jakob.
"Hi. I've had a nice day with my father."
"Great."
"He is about to drive back, but I think he'd like to meet you."
Jakob was silent. "Me? Why?"
"Because I've gushed over you all day."
"You have?"
"If you walk to the corner, we can pull up really quick and visit a minute. I just want to introduce him to you."
"O-okay."
"Great. We'll be there in 10 minutes."
I went into the living room. "Get in the car."
"Where are we going?" Dad asked.
"Just get in the car."
Dad chuckled and followed me out the door. Evan smiled at us but looked completely confused.
"I just want you to meet him before you go."
"I'd like that."
There was a bench on the corner down from the shelter. We had evening daylight and it had cooled a few degrees. I knew he'd be fine until we got there. I wasn't sure what Jakob's appearance would be. He never looked bad, but there was always a reflection of what he's had to endure. I hoped Dad wouldn't judge him too harshly. I could see him waiting for us from half a block away. I figured he was very anxious about meeting my family. For someone with his past, it had to be incredibly scary.
"I'm sure he is nervous," I said.
"That applies to everyone, son. I was a wreck meeting Carol's father."
I pulled the car to the curb, and we got out. We walked a few steps to Jakob. He stood up. He was wearing my T-shirt and a pair of jeans. His hair looked like he had just brushed it.
"Jakob, this is my father, Blake Wheeling. Dad, this is Jakob."
"With a K," he said.
"It's nice to meet you, Jakob," Dad said, extending his hand.
"Same here," said Jakob as he shook my father's hand.
I could tell he was very nervous. Oddly, he didn't let go of Dad's hand. Dad eventually found it curious and looked down at their hands.
"Thank you," Jakob told my father. He squeezed his hand tighter. "Thank you."
Jakob let go. Dad looked bewildered.
"Thank you for ...?"
"Thank you for being a wonderful father and doing such a great job of raising this man."
We both smiled.
"Um. That's a nice thing to say," Dad stammered out.
"Lance is a great human being. You've done well. I know you're a good father."
"I'm a great human being that got drunk and crashed his car and tried to ruin his life ..." I felt I needed to interject, with appropriate sarcasm.
"That's not the Lance I know," Jakob said.
I gave him a quick kiss. That was the first time my father had seen me kiss a man. Or maybe anybody. He smiled at us. I felt he was happy. I hoped he was.
"So, this is the new car?" Jakob said.
We walked around it, and I talked about a few of the features. Jakob sat inside it for a minute and looked at the interior. He liked it.
"Well, Dad needs to hit the road, so we should probably run."
"I'm glad I got to meet you," Dad told Jakob.
"Me too," Jakob said with an adorable smile.
Dad leaned closer to Jakob's ear. He talked softly, but I could still hear him.
"I see a spark in Lance I haven't seen in a long time. I think you've put that there. Thank you for being good for my son."
Jakob simply nodded. I walked up and gave him a kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'll have a bag at the meeting."
On the drive back, Dad was quiet. He should have been making comments or asking questions or ... something!
"Okay? And ...?"
"And what?" Dad said calmly.
"Your thoughts. Seeing your son kiss a man alone has to be worthy of some comment."
Dad chuckled.
"That made me happy. You look happy, Lance. I had a bit of reservations about Jakob's situation. I thought it might pull you into a lot of issues you didn't need. I was worried he would become dependent on you. The second I saw you light up when you saw him, I knew he was good for you. I hope the two of you take care of each other, be careful and be strong. And you can always call me, you know. Just if you need to talk."
"Thanks."
"There's no doubt you'll face some challenges ahead. The two of you come from different worlds. Accept that; understand that. That's going to flare up now and then. Be patient with each other. Support each other, but don't let either of you rely on the other for important things. Don't let yourself be a source of money..."
"I won't. He won't. He hasn't asked for anything."
"And ... don't let him try to replace Trent. I know there was some heartbreak there. Let Jakob be his own person. He's not going to be Trent." I nodded. "But I believe the two of you have found each other for a reason. You've found each other's hearts, so that's all that matters to me. For now."
We pulled up at my apartment complex next to Dad's car. We got out and hugged. A long hug.
"Thanks for being the best dad in the world. I love you."
He smiled and got in the car. I motioned him to roll down the window.
"Give Mom my best. Tell her I love her."
"And she sends her love too."
As my father drove away, I realized I felt happy. I liked how it felt.
* * * *
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