Hi Im Lance

Hi, I'm Lance Chapter 21

This story has the largest overlap between Book Two and Book Three. You will find a related version, but with its own differences in If It Weren't For the Two of Us, Chapter 42.

You might hate what I've done here, you might love it. I hope it has an impact on you. Feedback is always welcome, even if you didn't like it.

Nifty makes it possible. Always keep that in mind.

Meeting 47 December 30

"Hi, I'm Janine. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Janine," the group replied.

"Here we are, at the end of the year. I've held on to my job for five months. Well, almost five months. Considering all the others I botched, this is an actual long streak for me, so ... yay, Janine.

"Because I've been there for so long, well, for me, I'm really enjoying it. I feel good about doing a good job. Way back when, I would worry about screwing up, which made me want to drink. Now, I don't think about drinking. Granted, when something else goes wrong in my life — which is enough — I guess that temptation is always there, but ... dang, I just feel good about keeping this job. Going into the new year, I feel strong. I do.

"Thank you."

The group clapped.

"Hi, I'm Lance. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Lance," the group replied.

"I was having the best of holidays. I still am actually. Time with my family was great. My boyfriend is moving in tomorrow morning. I feel so completely in love. We are enjoying New Year's Eve with our best friends. It's all great.

"The end of the year made me look back. From the sounds of everything, you'd think I was living a charmed life. And then I look back at the beginning of the year, and I get scared shitless. I was drinking way too much. I wrestled with my sexual identity. I was in love with someone who couldn't love me back. I put on weight. I wrecked my car driving drunk — which could have killed me. So this year wasn't so ideal after all. I scare myself how I ever got into that position. I mean, it was just half a year ago. How did I mess up so bad? And now ... I'm happier than I've ever been. I occasionally get swept up in these feelings that I don't deserve this. That it won't last. Then what? How strong will I be? Thankfully, Jakob is my rock.

"I'm not sure why I question it at times, but I have to admit I do. I sometimes get scared it will all go away.

"Thank you."

The group clapped. When I got to my seat, Jakob grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Two more people shared. The closing of the year caused many members to reflect. We helped with the chairs following the meeting.

No one in our social circle seemed to want to go out. I made a point to talk to Richard to see how he made it through the month. He said it was better than the past few. That was good. I figured most people had the post-holiday blahs when decorations came down. He probably felt better with no reminders in place.

Jakob and I said Happy New Year to the friends we had made. Some of them gave us a hug.

"Your share interested me," Jakob said in the car.

"Oh?"

"Lance, why don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

"Because I'm ... I don't know. What have I ever done to deserve anything positive? I mean, I don't think I need to be arrested or anything, but ... Jakob, I've just made so many mistakes. So many. During college, I could be an ass at times. I just don't know if I was ... or am ... a good person. I just feel unworthy sometimes. But I do sit in awe sometimes of just feeling SO happy."

"Well, I can tell you why you deserve it. Those mistakes you are talking about ...? You learned from them! You're a stud at work. The members love you. You've helped people in AA. You reached out to Tyler. Look at what you've done for me. I could easily be in the shelter if not for you. I had no one. You helped me reunite with my family. I'm a total nobody, but you somehow accepted me. Fell in love with me. The fact that you've made me incredibly happy surely warrants you feeling the same."

I grabbed his hand. "I do love you, babe. Thank you."

When we entered the apartment, we looked at all that had to be dealt with in the morning. Jakob didn't have a lot. Most of it was boxed already. Trent's furniture was going to move to Mike's ... somehow. We were taking a couple of items. Before going to bed, we packed up everything from the bathroom and one last box in the kitchen.

"Do we want to sleep here among all this upheaval?" he asked.

"Up to you. Want one last night?"

"We haven't made love since Christmas night. Want one last loud night of passion before we inflict our cohabitation on Evan?"

I laughed.

It wasn't that loud actually. As far as sex goes, it was one of our more average nights of lovemaking. Still good, still enjoyable, just not memorable. Maybe Christmas night was a hard act to follow.

—

Mike and Trent arrived at 8:30. They had a U-Haul. They were wearing shirts with each other's names put into fake businesses. I thought they were gifts from someone in Mike's family, but I couldn't remember. I'd seen them only once before.

"All right gents, where do we start?" Mike asked.

"If we go to your house first, we can shower up at our place after the second trip."

"Sounds like a plan," Trent said.

It took about 40 minutes to get Trent's furniture into the trailer. Once at Mike's house, we moved most of it into the garage, trying to make it as compact as we could. A few items were brought inside into the study. Trent had not acquired a lot since college. Most of it was bedroom furniture. Some of it had shown its age from his high school days. It was usable though. It prompted me to think of all the years Jakob had nothing. He would have given anything for a bed.

There wasn't a ton of room in the garage. I thought it would be tough to store it all if at least one car was supposed to make it in, but with bed broke down, we were all surprised at how it easily fit on one side of the garage.

When we entered Jakob's apartment for the last trip, it was just boxes. I suddenly got all parental-like and checked every closet and every door for any last items we might have forgotten.

After the last box was loaded for our second trip, Trent carried the keys down to the apartment office. I don't know if he had even told them about the change of residents. I didn't ask. I just know it worked for Jakob and rolled with that. I scared myself a moment not knowing what would have happened if Jakob wasn't able to stay here. Trent saved the day with that one. It was too soon for Jakob and I to move in together back in October. Now seemed right. We completely know each other. Bless his heart, he found something in me worth keeping.

"Well, that's done," Trent said. "Farewell to the apartment."

As we unloaded the final items into my bedroom, we looked at the time.

"It's almost noon," Trent said. "We'll need to get the truck back. You guys need a break. How about you come over to our place around 3, and then we'll drive to the lake house together. Does that work?"

"Yes. Totally," I said.

"I like your shirts, by the way," Jakob said.

"Aw. My parents had them made for us. I like them too," Mike said.

"There is a nice restaurant near the lake. I assume it is open this time of year. Pack a nice shirt for that," Trent said.

I paid for half the cost of the U-Haul. We waved as they pulled away. Once back inside my — our — apartment, we collapsed on the bed.

"Ugh! Well, that's over. Hopefully, these boxes can somehow go away," Jakob said.

"We'll deal with that after New Year's Day," I said.

"So ... shower or nap?"

"Lunch. Then nap. Then shower."

Following that sequence, we took a small suitcase to my car at 2:45, ready to head into our holiday getaway. We were prepared with a few choices of clothing options. I wasn't sure what the guys had planned. In the back of my mind, I remembered the New Year's offer they made me when I started AA. Mike told me if I stuck with it and stayed sober until the end of the year, we could recreate the shower scene from last winter. That was before I met Jakob though. I could never do that now that I was in love with him, but ... who knows? Just how "guys weekend" was it going to be? I was just looking forward to the four of us hanging out.

We put our suitcase in their car. They had a cooler in the trunk too, but I wasn't sure what all was in it. The drive to the lake house took less than an hour. For late December, low 40s wasn't bad. I leaned into Jakob in the back seat, which let us see our best friends in the front seats. Plus it was snuggly.

As we pulled up to the house, I liked the look of it. I was sure in the summer it had to be beautiful with the trees all lush with green leaves. A wreath was on the door. With no one actually living there, we weren't expecting any decorations, but to our surprise, there was a poinsettia, some garland and a December arrangement on the coffee table. There wasn't a tree, but it had the essence of Christmas.

"This is lovely," said Jakob.

Mike and Trent showed us around. We assumed they would take the master bedroom. The other room was not as big. There was a full bed and a set of bunk beds. We put our suitcase on the lower bunk. It was simple, nice, clean, but nothing elaborate. The bed was smaller than the queen I had at the apartment, but I liked the cozy aspect of the smaller size. The house was by no means cold, but the winter chill was more noticeable here than at the apartment.

"Our naked bodies will keep each other warm," Jakob said, reading my mind. I turned to him with a surprised smile.

Mike started unloading the cooler into the refrigerator.

"What is all this? Why didn't you ask us to bring anything?" I asked.

"Eh. This was all our idea. Trent's actually. We brought enough to snack on and make a meal or two."

Mike held up a bottle of champagne.

"Non-alcoholic for midnight tonight," he said.

"You guys didn't have to do that. It's okay to drink around us."

"It's also okay to want to include you."

I gave him a hug. Simple gestures seemed enormous at times. We couldn't ask for more considerate friends. I absolutely loved the idea of the four of us just chilling for the holiday. It was going to be some much better than some loud party.

With everything put away, Mike grabbed a bag of tortilla chips from the counter and opened it, along with a jar of salsa. We both crunched on a few chips and then put the jar in the fridge.

"I think I wanted this getaway more than Trent," Mike said.

"Oh?" I said, slightly perplexed.

"Yeah. Lance, a year ago, I was so cut off after Ethan. I didn't do anything with friends. It's not like they abandoned me, but ... I think I pulled away."

He looked out the kitchen window. I held him from behind.

"I've loved having you and Jakob as part of my life," Mike continued. "Obviously, Trent stepping into my world was incredible, but with him came you. And with you, Jakob. I'm loving being with friends again. I chastise myself for ever letting that slip away."

I squeezed him tighter. "I feel the same," I softly said, but mumbled, so I'm not sure if Mike understood me.

Jakob and Trent were on the back porch. We joined them, bringing all of us a Diet Coke. The winter chill was pretty cold, but the house blocked the breeze. With the sun on us, it was tolerable without a coat.

"Wouldn't it be cool to see it snow over the lake," Jakob said.

"I like snow," Trent said. "I always long for a White Christmas, but so rarely get them."

"Just give me spring," Mike said. He wrapped his own arms around himself to eliminate the shiver.

I laughed.

"According to my phone, the Lakeside Restaurant is open until 9 tonight. How does 7:30 sound?" Trent asked.

Everyone agreed that was good.

Eventually the chill got to us, and we went inside. There was a fireplace, so Mike attempted to get it going. Although there was one in his house, I don't ever recall even seeing firewood in it. This lake house had firewood stacked down the stairs on the side. Jakob offered to help. I imagine his family used their fireplace a lot. I seemed to remember the Morgan's house being a little older and smaller than Mike's. A fireplace could have been effective. Within 10 minutes, a cozy fire was going. We all thought it was nice to just sit and do nothing, listening to the crackle.

"I love the sound of a fire," Jakob said.

"Same here," Trent agreed.

"You know, you two said we couldn't repeat the three-way because it was the school shower. In front of a fire could be a complete opposite," I joked.

Trent shifted his weight and looked away.

"Huh? What does that mean?" Jakob said.

"Oh. It's just a joke. When I joined AA, they told me we would repeat the school shower three-way if I could stay sober until the end of the year. But, honey, that was a joke. Really."

He got quiet. For 30 seconds no one said anything.

"Uh, excuse me," Jakob said. He went out the front door.

The three of us looked at each other.

"Hm. That didn't look good," I said.

"No, it didn't," said Mike. "Think we've said something wrong?"

"I'll go check," I said.

Jakob was leaning against the car. I took him his coat.

"Are you okay, babe?"

"Yeah," he said blankly.

"Talk to me."

"I don't want to be a downer," he said, shuffling his foot in the gravel of the driveway.

"Baby, why would you think that? You can tell me anything. Always."

"Thanks. I'm sorry. That talk about multiple people having sex ... it just brought back some memories. The last time that happened to me ... I ..."

He stopped.

"It's okay," I said. I held his hand.

He sighed.

"I was fucked by four other people. I barely knew two of them. It was just assumed that I would go along with it ... because, you know ... the roof over my head and all."

"That's total shit. Baby, you have had to deal with so much. I am continuously impressed by how strong you are after all that."

"I guess I had to be. Either that or implode."

"It's no wonder you turned to alcohol."

I held him. He squeezed me back.

"I will never, ever, ever do anything that might hurt you. Not intentionally anyway." I looked him in the eyes. "All that talk back there is kind of a joke anyways. They said that as an incentive when I started AA. I hadn't even met you. Now that you are in my life, I would never do anything with anyone else. I'm all yours and only yours. You're stuck with me now."

He pulled me closer.

"I know. And, even if ... that ... happened, it is not like you are doing it behind my back. I'm right here."

"I'd want you to be with me if ... you know. I'm sure they would too."

"Is that what you want?" he asked earnestly.

"No. Not at all. You are all that matters. I love YOU. You fulfill every sexual need I have."

"Okay. Thanks, angel." He let me go. "Go on back inside. I'll take a short walk."

I watched him start a stroll down the road. I hoped he was okay. None of us had done anything, so I didn't think he was upset. After a minute I went back inside.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Trent asked.

"Yeah. I think so. The mention of several guys having sex ... well ... it brought back memories. He was forced to have sex with four men earlier this year. He hardly knew two of them."

"Oh my God," said Mike. "How fucked up is that."

"Yeah. I think it just shook him a second. He was afraid he would bring us down."

"Bring us down. Bless his heart. He's gone through so much. We're sorry if we upset him," Trent said.

"No. I don't think he's upset. Sometimes things just hit you, particularly when you used to suppress them with alcohol."

"Fuck," Trent said.

"It does me too. At times."

"Yeah?" Trent asked. "How, buddy?"

"Like the past couple of days, ... well, the holidays. I've been so happy. So crazy happy. And then it will hit me — like I don't deserve it. I shouldn't get to be this happy."

"Why would you say that?" Mike asked.

"The drinking, stupid decisions, wrecking my car ... it seems like other people should deserve to be happy, and yet somehow ... I got to be. It's crazy, right?"

"I think AA helps you do a little soul-searching," Mike said. He pulled me to him and held me. I liked being held. Mike was good at this. Even with Trent standing there, I could just easily melt into the comfort of Mike. "You deserve every bit of happiness you are feeling. You and Jakob are made for each other. You are like soul mates."

It was funny that Mike thought that. I always knew Trent would be my soul mate. In every way. Yet, he is right. Everything that makes Trent and me close I could say about Jakob. And I get to sleep with him.

Trent saw a radio.

"Is everyone tired of Christmas music, or can I put some on?"

Mike and I looked indifferent. I heard it at the gym all day out on the floor. I had become immune to its cheery devices.

"Jakob loves it," I said. "Put it on."

Trent found a station still playing holiday songs through tomorrow. Trans-Siberian Orchestra was playing. I liked them.

Jakob walked in fifteen minutes later.

"I was thinking of something hot. Coffee or hot chocolate?" Mike asked.

I didn't care for coffee, so I didn't say anything.

"Hot Chocolate sounds good after dinner. How about some coffee?" Trent said.

Mike started the brew as Jakob came and stood with us.

"You okay, Jakey?" Mike said.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"JAKEY??!" Trent and I said.

"What?" Mike said. "Can't I call a friend a nickname?"

We laughed.

"Jakob, what nicknames did you have growing up?" I asked.

"Honestly, it was always Jakob, although people misspelled it. I always liked Jakob. But, Mikey, you can call me anything you want."

The two hugged with smiles.

Just after 6:30 we started getting ready for dinner. I put on a dress shirt and wore the necklace Jakob gave me. I loved how the angel wing looked with the leather strap. With a couple buttons unbuttoned, I thought it looked sexy. Jakob wore a sweater. Mike and Trent came out. Mike was also wearing a sweater with a white button-down underneath. Trent wore a long sleeve. It was a Christmas plaid.

"I love the necklace, Lance. Sharp," Mike said.

"My Christmas gift from Jakob. I love it too."

Jakob smiled.

Before long, we got in the car and drove the short distance to the Lakehouse Restaurant. Even for the holiday, the restaurant was not busy. We hung our coats on the back of our chairs. Our server's name was Elaine. Mike and Trent recognized her from their summer visit. She remembered them.

"I'm glad you all are open tonight," Trent said. "I wasn't sure with the holiday."

"Winter is much slower than summer. This time of year we are only open on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. We lose some of our summer help, particularly once colleges start. But me? Heck. I'm a long-timer here. Tonight's an exception for the holiday, but it's a short shift."

"Well, it's nice to see you again," Mike said.

Mike put his arm around Trent. I looked at them. They were so comfortable together. I was ashamed I ever wanted Trent for myself. They belonged together. Trent found a wonderful partner in Mike. I could never have been the man he is.

"You guys are like an old married couple," I said.

They looked at each other and smiled.

We hadn't opened our menus yet. Trent excused himself to wash his hands. I took the opportunity to ask Mike how things had gone with Trent's father. He reported a positive visit. Everyone seemed to be healing. I was pleased to hear that. I was so lucky not to be in a volatile family situation. Even Oliver and I had grown a bit closer. Thank heavens Jakob's situation had greatly improved. Every family is different. I felt lucky.

Trent returned to the table from behind us.

"Jakob. I love your coat. New?" he said.

"Yes. It was my Christmas gift from Lance."

"Nice. Good job, bud."

"Thanks. So. What did Mike get you?"

"Um. I can't show you for six months," Trent said; Mike was smirking.

Jakob and I looked at each other confused.

"What the hell does that mean?" I said.

"Well ... he bought me one of two matching bands. We'll wear them when we get married in June. He proposed and I said, `yes.'"

"WHAT??!!!" Jakob and I screamed.

The two of them looked at each other and smiled. They gave a quick kiss.

"THAT'S AMAZING!!" I said.

The entire restaurant looked our way. I realized I was too loud. Elaine came over with our iced teas.

"Everything okay, gentlemen?"

"Yes! They got engaged!" said Jakob, pointing at our friends.

"How wonderful. Just now? In here?"

"No," Trent chuckled. "Over Christmas."

"How have you NOT told me this the past week? I can't believe you kept that secret," I scolded.

"I soooooo wanted to. It killed me to hold it in, but I wanted to tell you guys here during our time away."

"I am so happy for you," Jakob said.

"Good. We may have you help decorate for the wedding."

Jakob gasped. "Please!"

"I'll give you some time," Elaine said.

We giggled and opened our menus. We didn't mean to ignore Elaine, but it made sense for her to leave the table as we gushed over their announcement.

This news blew me away. Back in the early summer it would have crucified me. Part of me thought the age difference would eventually drive them apart. But I always knew the two of them were right for each other. It still didn't stop me from longing for Trent. As much as I will always love him, I'm thrilled beyond belief. I blew my chance with Trent by being in denial. How funny it is to easily accept things and embrace them once you come out. They are the perfect couple.

Dinner was fantastic. Eventually we were Elaine's only table and one of two in the restaurant. She hovered over us a bit, and we enjoyed her company.

"So, I guess this place isn't the party restaurant up to the midnight hour," I said.

"Honey, who owns all these houses on the lake? It's not the young 20s crowd," she answered.

She needed to tend to some closing duties but told us she'd have our checks ready shortly.

Mike was smiling oddly at us. It was a smile that had something behind it. Although I couldn't see it, I could tell he reached for Trent's hand below the tablecloth.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked.

"Do you want to know what I did for New Year's Eve last year?" he said, not expecting an answer. "I sat at home on the couch by myself. I think I went to bed shortly after 11."

"You? A handsome guy like yourself?" Jakob said.

"11 o'clock. My, how grandparent like," I said with snark.

"I know, right?" Mike replied. "The year before, Ethan and I had been to a party with friends. Last year, I received no invitations after the breakup. What's worse, I totally didn't care. I was just ... adrift. I suppose that woke me up a little. It made me long for a little social interaction. When the new year started, it got me to thinking that I shouldn't be so detached. I hated the thought of dating again — ugh. But I have to admit, I did start to miss ... I don't know ... affection maybe? Being with a man intimately." He sighed. "Then a few weeks later, this guy waltzes into my room needing to come out. Fate, huh?"

Mike and Trent kissed a long kiss. Their news continued to sink in. I was so happy for them. Only half a year ago, Trent and I were in college. And now... marriage! How did we ... well, he ... get here?

"I was at a party with Matt and Ali," Trent said. "To be honest, I was freaked out. I felt like I was supposed to kiss someone at midnight. I kept obsessing over if I should do it and who was I supposed to do it with? I had been talking to a girl ... man, I don't even remember her name. I guessed it would be her. There were a couple seniors, guys, pouring drinks. I didn't know them. I think they were from the drama group. I probably had the hots for the bearded one." Trent scratched Mike's beard. "I do remember staring at him all night. I wasn't questioning if I was gay necessarily, I just knew I liked looking at him."

"Duh," said Jakob. "Sometimes we look past the most obvious signs, don't we?"

"Yes. The clock struck midnight, we all blew noisemakers, screamed `Happy New Year' and then I kissed ... what was her name? As I kissed, my eyes opened, and I saw the two bartenders kissing. I was freaked out for like ... a nanosecond, but immediately I was transfixed. I stared at them. It was a long kiss. I had never been in a room where two guys kissed before. My heart started beating fast."

"Here are your checks, fellas," Elaine said.

We all reached for our wallets. Each of us pulled out three twenties. We were tipping Elaine big.

"Then what?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh. I started questioning everything. In the past I tried not to look at guys in the showers. I told myself it was weird, and they would think I was weird. But I started looking at our teammates. You and I looked at each other."

"Is this the part where I should get jealous?" Jakob smiled.

"Oh, please. These two?" Mike said. "I'm surprised they weren't making out in the showers."

"Hey!" Trent and I both snapped.

"No, we waited for you to do that in the showers," Trent said.

"Oh God!!" Mike moaned, burying his face in his hands. "You can see where I was at that point. I hadn't had anybody since Ethan ... and here was this ... gorgeous ..." He kissed Trent. "...beautifully hung ..." He kissed Trent. "... young stud who for some reason came on to his former teacher by waving his hard-on in his face."

"Dear, lord. I was a mess," Trent said. "I went for broke. Had it gone any other way, I would have been humiliated beyond belief. You could have been fired. I can't believe you went along with it."

"I knew better. But you were just too beautiful a package for me to turn down, baby."

"Aw. You two are adorable. And talk very openly," Jakob chuckled.

We all got up to leave. Elaine hugged each of us and wished us Happy New Year. We returned the same.

Back at the lake house, we turned on the television to see what was happening around the country. We kept switching stations to see what celebrity artist was playing where.

We hadn't had dessert at the restaurant. I offered to make hot chocolate. They all agreed it sounded great.

Trent was on the floor in front of the couch sitting between Mike's legs. Jakob grabbed a throw pillow and placed it on Mike's legs. He reclined on the couch and put his head in Mike's lap. I remember doing that to Trent in college. Mike draped his hand over Jakob's chest in a friendly — but loving — gesture.

"Want to know what I did for New Year's last year?" Jakob said.

"Sure," Mike said, gently massaging his chest.

"The last house I stayed at — pretty much on a futon in a small study — the three roommates all fucked me. It was a small group. We drank. We drank quite a bit. At about 10:30 they had all come inside me, and they all decided to go dancing. And they left. Without me. I sat at the house by myself. And I drank until I threw up in the kitchen sink. Even though I was drunk, I still cleaned it up and made it all look shiny and polished. Then I laid on the couch and cried. And eventually fell asleep I guess."

"Dear heavens!" Mike said.

"Oh, man. Jakob!" Trent said.

I was watching and listening from the kitchen. Mike reached for Jakob's hand and squeezed it. I put four mugs of steaming hot chocolate on a tray and carried it into the living room. I handed each of them a mug.

"Sorry, no marshmallows," I said.

They all sat up. After thanking me, everyone blew across the top. I internally smiled, wondering if that did any good.

"Now look at me this year," Jakob continued. "I'm surrounded by the closest friends I've ever had, I'm in love with the most wonderful man ... and I'm happy. Thank you — all of you — you have NO idea how lucky I feel. I love all of you and appreciate you."

Mike put his mug down and hugged Jakob. I could tell it was a strong hug. "And you are loved too," he said, giving Jakob a kiss on the cheek. I went over to sit next to my boyfriend.

"This isn't right," Trent said and walked into the bedroom. Less than a minute later, he walked out in pajamas and the Pride T-shirt. "Hot chocolate screams for pajamas."

"Absolutely!" we all said.

Everyone else went to change. Minutes later, we all emerged. The two of them completely matched. Jakob and I had the matching pajamas they gave us, but different T-shirts. I wore a university shirt; Jakob had on the T-shirt I had given with my name on the back. We took turns heating the hot chocolate back up in the microwave. We were cozy. This night seemed so perfect.

"I hardly remember last year," I said, circling back to the previous conversation. "I wasn't drinking as heavily then, but I sure did that night. I was at a party. Aram held it in his apartment. I think there were about 15 people crammed in there. And I remember almost nothing. I woke up about 1 o'clock and couldn't remember anything about the last few hours. I vaguely remembered kissing people — I couldn't tell you who or how many. My fly was unbuttoned. I had no recollection of fucking or sucking anyone or being fucked or sucked. How pathetic is that?"

"It was college," Trent said.

"But is that really an excuse?" I said. "Being sober now, I look back on those times as totally pathetic."

I remembered the first beer I purchased my junior year. I had drank several before that, but they had always been provided. I had probably a beer or two a day by the end of the second semester. When I couldn't handle my feelings for me, that increased. Before Trent and I came out to each other, I went through a couple 12 packs a week. Once I knew I loved him — and missed my chance — that's when I started getting drunk. Too often. Fuck, what I must have put Zach and Cole through. Although the body does miss it from time to time, my mind sure doesn't.

"I'm proud of you, Lance," Mike said. "I'm so happy we're all here together. Honey, I'm glad you could get this again. It's perfect," he said to Trent.

I thought of the agreement Mike had made back in July. At the time, the three of us having sex ... I would have done anything. Now, with how Jakob feels, not a chance. Which was totally fine. It might have been fun — if everyone was into it. But I was loving this, just what this was.

Thinking about that three-way must have made me hard. I could feel Jakob's hand gently rub my dick through the pajamas and then gently cover the bulge I had created.

Mike left momentarily and returned with a couple of vanilla candles lit. He placed them on the coffee table and then turned out the lights in the house. I became overwhelmed at how awesome I thought all this was. My best friends, my boyfriend, perfect setting — I loved these people so much. It oddly hit me, and my eyes teared up. No one noticed. I grabbed a tissue from an end table and dabbed my eyes and then blew my nose. I regained my composure and tried not to let emotion overwhelm me. Instead, I embraced it. What a year it had been. The changes in my life had been dramatic. New Year's Eve was driving my emotions home — the changes I had gone through. I felt lucky.

I got up to throw away the tissue and went into the bedroom to text my parents "Happy New Year."

When I came back, Trent and Mike were reclining on the couch together. Trent had the remote and was switching stations. Mike had his hand down Trent's pajamas holding his partner's — his fiancée's — dick. It wasn't showy. He was just holding it. I sat next to Jakob and put my arm around him. He placed his head on my shoulder. He draped his hand over my leg. My cock became rock hard again. I didn't care if anyone could see a big bulge from my raging boner. It was just us guys.

As midnight approached, Mike came in with plastic champagne glasses and sparkling cider. He poured us a glass with two minutes to go.

Soon the countdown to the New Year began. At midnight, all four of us screamed, "Happy New Year." We each kissed our partner in a long passionate kiss.

We sipped on the faux champagne as we watched confetti fall and people cheer. It wasn't long before the glasses were empty, and the television coverage had switched to a performance on the West Coast.

"Well, as incredibly lovely as this night was, I wish to bring in the New Year making love to this man," I said.

"Lance!" Jakob admonished.

"I think he's on to something," Mike said.

"At least with us, you two don't have to be quiet," Trent noted.

"Like you two will be."

"It's not a competition," Jakob scolded me.

"It could be," I mischievously said.

Trent walked up to Jakob. "Happy New Year, Jakob. Thanks for being here. I love you." He gave Jakob a nice kiss on the lips.

He came to me. We locked eyes. There are times that I love Trent every bit as much as I ever did; it's just different now. We kissed. "Happy New Year, buddy," he told me. "I will always have your back, and I will always love you."

Mike kissed both of us too with a "Happy New Year" thrown in.

As a light was turned on in each bedroom, Mike blew out the candles. We shut our doors.

"Do you really want to have sex here?" Jakob asked.

"Babe, I want you more than I ever have. Right now. Making love with you is the most perfect way to begin the first minutes of a new year."

We brushed our teeth in the hall bathroom and returned to the bedroom, immediately getting undressed. We slipped into the covers naked. Away from the fireplace, the bedroom had a chill. We pulled up the blanket and pressed our bodies into each other to get warm. We wrapped our arms around each other. We were momentarily shivering.

"It's a whole new year, baby. And we are spending it together. I can't wait to be a couple every day with you. I can truly call you my partner. Are you okay with that?" I asked him.

He pressed his lips against mine hard. "Absolutely, angel. I love thinking of you as my partner. I will try my hardest to not let you get sick of me."

"Ha. That's probably going to be my problem for you." I kissed him again. "But we'll figure it all out together."

After kissing for a couple of minutes, our bodies were warmer. I could feel his erection poke into my navel. I reached down to grope it. He breathed heavily into my ear.

"Suck me, angel," he whispered.

I moved my head to his wonderful cock. My tongue went up from its base to the tip on several sides. He softly cooed at the sensation. I let the entire organ get engulfed in my mouth, surrounding his stretched skin with its warmth.

"Yeah," he softly said.

As I worked on giving him oral service, he ran his fingers through my hair. I moaned as I sucked on his cock, allowing myself to express my satisfaction in pleasing him. I could tell he was staying quiet as to not be heard. I continued to swallow and slurp on my lover's anatomy when we heard groaning from the other room. Mike and Trent were not holding back. I'm not sure if that comforted Jakob or not, but he quickly moaned for me.

"Yeah, angel. My cock feels good. I love how you suck me."

I continued. I loved everything about Jakob's dick — the size was perfect for swallowing; the taste and scent of his crotch was intoxicating, and the hair was completely masculine.

"I love your cock baby," I said, taking my mouth off to get a deep breath.

"Oh, babe, I feel so good inside you," Mike called out through the wall.

They got loud. It was clear they were deep into their lovemaking. Mike was pounding Trent's ass. They didn't care that we could hear. They wanted us to hear.

"I don't want to come yet, angel," Jakob said. "Come up here."

I moved onto my knees near his shoulders, placing my hard nine inches to his face. He wriggled below to lick my balls first.

"Oh, yeah, Jakob."

His tongue stimulated my sac playfully. While I loved it, hearing Trent and Mike next door made it even more titillating. He took my balls into his mouth one at a time. I moaned. He licked them inside his mouth.

"Suck me, baby. Suck my cock!" I called out.

I groaned in pleasure as he took my erection into his mouth. I moaned as I was being treated to a late-night blow job.

"Yes! Yes! Oh God, Trent! I'm coming," Mike screamed through the wall.

That took me to a new level. The stimulation in my groin went deep. I was going to come quickly this way. Listening to them was hot. I let Jakob continue to suck me, trying not to go over the edge.

I could feel him pumping his own cock while he was sucking mine. He groaned, which reverberated through my stiffened rod. I was really close but didn't want to come yet. I pulled my dick from his mouth.

"Not yet, babe. Lick my balls again."

He did.

Trent was groaning in pleasure. Even through the walls, I recognized his voice, his moans. I could tell he was close. I decided I wanted to come with him. I thrust my cock back into Jakob's face. He momentarily gagged, but quickly recovered and slurped madly. I took my fingers and made a ring around the base of my shaft as my partner sucked vigorously. I listened to Trent. I could tell. He was almost there. His moans were escalating into screams. I let myself do the same. I knew the sound of Trent coming. He was there. My veins pulsed. There was no return.

"I'm coming, Jakob," I called out.

The two of us came together. Jakob swallowed me, swallowed my cum, swallowed my lustful passion. The sensations were fierce in the most desirable way. Jakob's mouth continued to slurp and swallow long after I had stopped shooting inside.

"Fuck yeah," I said following the intense orgasm.

The bed moved with Jakob's masturbation of his dick. His rhythm was violent. His breath was ragged, alternating from panting and groaning. His volume moved up into a crescendo.

"Yes!!" he screamed, loudest of all.

His first stream of cum hit me in the back. It splattered on his chest. He licked the underside of my penis as he continued to shoot cum everywhere. His growl was consistent. As he spurted his last bit of liquid, the volume slowly deescalated until it became heavy breathing.

We heard Mike and Trent applaud. We laughed. They probably heard that too.

I told Jakob to lie still and I would get a towel from the bathroom. I stepped into the hall. There was very little light. The microwave in the kitchen created just enough dim glow to let me stumble and feel for the doorknob. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Mike come out of the bedroom. Before I reached back to turn out the light, I could see him fully naked. God, he was sexy.

When it went dark, Mike walked up to me. He leaned to my ear.

"I totally get taking care of your partner," he whispered. He grabbed my cock. "We understand. But this could have been fun." He kissed me. "Now, go clean up your boyfriend."

Mike went into the kitchen to get a bottled water. I closed our door and worked at cleaning the cum off Jakob's chest, getting playful with the erotic liquid at the same time. I wrote the New Year on his chest. I could hear him quietly chuckle. Once he was eventually cleaned off, I leaned over.

"I love you more this year than last year," I said.

He laughed. We worked our way back into a close embrace, kissed and then worked at falling asleep.

"What a wonderful way to end the year," Jakob said to me.

—

We hadn't been up too late. Everyone was probably asleep by 1 a.m. No one seemed eager to get up. We slept in.

I awoke later. I grabbed my phone to see the time. 9:07. Jakob was no longer next to me. I lifted my head up to listen. The door was slightly ajar. I could hear two voices in the kitchen. Getting out of bed, I looked at clothes on the floor but left them there. I stepped out to investigate who was up. I didn't care that I was naked.

"Morning," I mumbled.

"Angel? Are we declaring it a no clothes day?" Jakob said.

"Eh. These guys have seen me naked."

"I think half the state has," Trent said. Jakob kind of looked exasperated at my actions.

"Funny," I replied dryly.

I wasn't incorrect. Trent had seen me naked several times. The showers at practice were routine, he had fucked me twice and we jacked off other times. Mike was all but manhandling my dick the day I was introduced to him. We were all different people back then, but now, things seemed more causal and comfortable. Although, I should have taken Jakob's feelings into consideration.

Trent and Jakob were shirtless, but both were wearing pajama bottoms.

"I know you don't do coffee. We brought juice for you if you'd like some," Trent offered.

"Please."

"Ice or no?"

"No please."

I was handed the beverage, and then Trent stood next to Jakob. They both just looked at me.

"What are you doing?" I asked them.

Trent moved behind Jakob and wrapped his arms around his waist. Putting his chin on Jakob's shoulder, the two just smiled.

"We're just enjoying looking at a very handsome man," he said.

"You guys are so comfortable together," said Jakob. "It's sweet in an almost jealous kind of way."

Mike came out, also nude. The man was undeniably hot. I was so jealous of his chest hair. Obviously, I hadn't seen him naked since our shower escapade in February. I could have stared at him all day.

"Did I hear something about a no clothes day?" he said.

Jakob and Trent looked at each other. I thought it was hysterical.

"Case in point, huh?" Trent said to him. "Yeah, we're a comfortable crew."

Trent played with Jakob's hairy chest a moment. What was he up to?

"Hey, that chest belongs to me," I defended.

Trent smiled and went over to Mike to stand behind him. He placed his hands in front of Mike's crotch to hide it from Jakob and me. "And these are mine," he said.

Mike rolled his eyes. "Coffee please."

Jakob poured him a mug and brought it to him. Trent had a goofy grin on his face, still hiding Mike's dick. Mike crossed his feet and continued to drink his coffee, totally ignoring Trent's joke.

Jakob returned to me and stood in front of me, shielding my nudity from the other two. Playing along with light heartedness, I stuck my hand down Jakob's pajamas.

"You people are insatiable," he mumbled with a smile.

I kissed him on the cheek. "Love you, baby," I whispered into his ear.

With Mike naked and all this talk, Jakob had to feel my cock poke him in the ass as I started to get hard.

Trent came around to the front of Mike and kissed him. Then he bent down and kissed his dick. Mike went over to the table. He seemed completely comfortable being naked around us. I was not expecting this from him, almost like he was oblivious to not having any clothes on. Man, he was gorgeous.

However, I worried all this familiarity might be tough for Jakob.

"I'll go put something on," I whispered into his ear. I gave him a quick grope and could feel his dick get rock hard in my hand.

"If you want," he said.

As I walked away, Jakob turned his body toward the counter to hide his bulge. He casually sipped his coffee. I took a leak before heading into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, I came back out in pajama bottoms and the T-shirt I wore last night. I poured more juice. Everyone was at the kitchen table. I was the only one with a shirt on. I was surrounded by lovely chest hair.

"Everyone sleep okay?" I asked.

"Totally," Trent said. "But Mike and I always do. I remember those first nights last winter. I was so aware of you next to me," he said, looking at Mike. "Now if you were gone, it would feel strange."

"Lance and I hold feet," Jakob said.

The guys looked at us perplexed.

"Our legs get all tangled together," I said. "We press our feet together. It's our version of holding hands, but with our feet. It's weird, I know."

"I think it's cute," Trent said.

I got up and opened the refrigerator. "Do we have thoughts on breakfast?"

"I'll make us something," Mike said.

"I hope you put something on," Trent said. "As it is now, it would be all sorts of health code violations."

"Fine," Mike said.

He stood up. Jakob got a full look at Mike. He wasn't nearly as endowed as Trent and me. Not bad when hard though, if I remembered correctly. Jakob and Mike were more in common in that regard, although Jakob was the smallest dick of the group. And that didn't faze me in the slightest. I loved it. I thought Mike was a hunk too. For a moment I felt weird that I had seen all these people's penises.

Mike was walking past me. I stood in front of him and gave him a peck on the lips. "I like you just the way you are, Mike."

I fondled his dick playfully for a second.

"Down, Lance. He isn't yours to play with," Jakob said sarcastically.

Mike winked at me and went into the bedroom. I could have imagined him coming out dressed for a blizzard, just to be a smartass, but he returned with the Pride shirt and pajamas. I went back to the table.

"It was kind of hot listening to you guys last night," I said to Trent.

"I thought the same," he said. "Did you think so, Jakob? Were you okay with it?"

"I suppose. At first, I thought it was slightly odd. I've always thought sex is supposed to be personal, private. My experiences with multiple partners have ... not been great. After a while last night, I just went with it. Knowing you two are in love — you engaged lovebirds you — gave it greater meaning to me. When I used to live with people, I don't know if those dudes even cared about love. It was just about the sex ... getting off ... then moving on or going to sleep. With the four of us last night ... I don't know ... I just felt love. Maybe my brain was telling me you were sharing your love with us. Yeah, it was kind of hot, I guess."

"I believe you came last," Trent said.

"Right. It was intense. I was a sticky mess." He paused, thinking about what he had just said. "But let's talk about something else." Jakob was beginning to be embarrassed by the conversation.

Trent turned on the Rose Parade but kept the volume low. None of us really watched it, but we would glance over every now and then.

I asked Trent how his role would change when he returned to work on Monday. He explained a few differences, but it would be similar in many respects. The pay would be better. What would be odd he said is that he would most likely be training a new assistant. As much as the promotion was awesome, he would miss some of the tasks he had done for half a year.

Soon, Mike came to the table with a platter of four omelets and some grilled hash browns. A minute later, he brought a bowl of fresh fruit. He admitted the store cut them up, he just combined them in a bowl.

Jakob hopped up to bring plates and silverware to the table.

"Delicious, dear," Trent said as we started digging in.

Mike had done a good job. None of us were stuffed. It just seemed to be the right portions. Tasty too. As we were taking the dishes to the kitchen, Trent looked at the sunshine outside.

"Hey, guys," he said. "Before we shower, can we do a run? It looks nice."

Our reactions were mixed. Jakob probably exercised the least of us, but he seemed game. Before long, we were dressed warmly. As a run was suggested, most of us didn't want heavy coats.

I was in the best shape of anyone. I had continued my regular regimen at the gym. I was fit. Trent wasn't bad either. We kept a steadier pace. Mike and Jakob were content to bring up the rear. It wasn't a competition.

By the time we got back it was almost 11. It was barely 40 degrees outside, but with no wind, we had jogged up a slight sweat.

"I'm going to get some firewood," Mike said.

We took off sweatshirts. We sat down to take off our shoes. Suddenly we heard Mike scream.

"Oh my God," we all said, rushing to the door.

Mike was lying at the bottom of the steps, groaning.

"Mike!" Trent screamed. "Are you okay?"

"I think. I just hit a step wrong and lost my footing. What a klutz."

"I'll get firewood," Jakob said. "You two help him inside."

"I'm fine," Mike said, as Trent and I lifted him up.

He hobbled inside. Trent hovered over him to make sure he was okay. Mike was confident nothing was broken. He took off his shirt. There were no cuts or scrapes, but Mike felt he would have a bruise or two soon. After limping a bit, he started walking it off.

"Just rest on the couch, babe," Trent said.

Once again, Mike looked incredibly sexy. His hair was slightly messy, and his chest just destroyed with all that hair. We lifted one of his feet up on the coffee table to keep it elevated.

Jakob came in with firewood. He then made a second trip and got the fire going within a few minutes. Then he came over with us to sit with Mike.

"Seriously guys, don't fawn over me. I'm fine," Mike said.

We decided to let Mike relax a bit. Trent stayed nearby.

"I'll hop in the shower first, babe," I said to Jakob.

I stripped naked in the bedroom. Jakob and Trent watched me as I walked to the bathroom. My dick swung as I walked. Jakob rolled his eyes at me.

The warm water felt glorious. The chill was completely gone. After drying off, I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked out to the living room.

"How do you feel? Any bruises showing?"

"No. It just feels tender. At this point."

"You are staying with this no dress day, aren't you sweetie?" Jakob said.

"It's just us. I'm wearing a towel. I'll eventually put something on. If I must."

Everyone chuckled.

"If you are okay, hon', I will go shower," Trent said.

"I'll do the same," Jakob said.

"I'm not sure we can both fit in our shower," Trent smiled.

Jakob swatted Trent's butt. "Not what I meant."

Once they were into the bathrooms, I stood up and removed the towel, lying it on the fireplace ledge. I faced the flames warming my front side. What a wonderful feeling.

"Turn to me, Lance," Mike said.

I did. He smiled.

"That dick. You are a lucky man."

"It's just a dick," I said.

"That's what someone who doesn't know what it's like to have a smaller dick says."

"Hey, you came out naked earlier yourself."

"We could all be naked for all I care. But, if it's not for Jakob, then we don't do it."

"Right. I do have to say it was fun listening to you guys through the wall last night."

"So hot," he said.

My cock was hard now. I was standing before Mike fully erect. He motioned me over. He reached up to gently feel my hard-on.

"Just so you know, Trent and I would have made good on our promise."

"I know," I said. "But we're both in committed relationships. Those are the people who are important."

He kissed the end of my cock. "Right. Now, go get dressed so you don't get yelled at."

Trent and Jakob prepared lunch. It was simple sandwiches with sliced turkey or roast beef. We had chips, pasta salad and soup. The soup Trent made himself. It was a corn chowder and very good. He claimed it was a family recipe.

Mike seemed to be feeling fine. Nothing seemed to be hurt, but he rested on the couch until about 2:30 after lunch. At that point, he finally got up and showered. As their bathroom was in the master bedroom, there was no reason for him to come out naked again. Damn.

Jakob had found a deck of cards in one of the cabinets along with a few puzzles. We spent the rest of the afternoon playing cards with football games on in the background. Mike and I would be interested in the score every now and then. Jakob and Trent not so much. It wasn't an enthralling day, but it wasn't supposed to be. It was just a relaxing time with good friends. I hoped the new year would bring about more opportunities for simple things like this.

We did a good job of working our way through the chips they brought.

Mike still insisted on fixing dinner. The sun was shining on the back porch. The three of us left Mike alone and enjoyed an iced tea outside, looking over the lake. It was peaceful.

"This summer, Mike and I had sex in the chair your sitting in, Lance," Trent said.

"This rocking chair!?" I replied.

"Oh, good. More sex talk," Jakob quietly said, rolling his eyes.

"We were silly. We wanted to do it outside, so we waited until dark. Remember, we had just gotten back together after a few weeks. We were always horny as hell. It was really hot."

"I'm amazed you didn't shatter the chair," I said.

"It was tricky, but we made it work. Great fun."

There was an occasional boat on the water. Most people had their boats covered for the winter. I didn't think I would like to be out on the water when it was cold.

Trent asked Jakob when he had to return to work. Monday was to be the first day back, so he and I would be working hard at getting boxes put away on Sunday. Since we were leaving the lake house tomorrow, we could start dabbling with it that evening. Trent asked if we needed any help.

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Jakob said. "You probably have a few new things to find places for anyway. You are kind to offer, Trent. You have no idea how nice it is to have really good friends like you and Mike."

"Were you never close to any of the people you lived with?" Trent asked.

"I liked some better than others. But we were simply roommates. I'm not sure any of them considered us friends. Certainly not close friends. One was rather nice to me. He'd let me sleep with him on occasion. Not in a sex way, but just to share a bed. Well, I had sex with all of them — whether I wanted to or not."

"I'm sorry," Trent said.

"I haven't had a close friend — until now — since the family that took me in when I got kicked out of my home. My best friend and I were really close. We liked each other as boyfriends. His family was kind and took me in. We were romantic — well, high school stuff — for a few months. That sort of went by the wayside, but we still were close. They moved away after graduation, and I never heard from them again. That's when I had to fall into whatever situation I could take."

"Have you ever tried to contact him again?" Trent asked.

"I feel the same," I added.

"I haven't. Maybe I should try," Jakob said.

I went in to see if I could help Mike. Trent and Jakob continued to visit.

Mike said he had things in hand but asked me to set the table and get glasses ready. Once I accomplished that, he was wrapping things up with salad ingredients. I gently hugged him from behind.

"You feeling okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. A tad sore. We'll see what tomorrow is like. It was a simple fall."

I squeezed him harder, putting my chin on his shoulder.

"Thanks for inviting us."

"Oh, I'm so glad you guys came. I love it with the four of us here," he said. "Is Jakob having a good time?"

"He is. He laughs that we are all so completely honest and comfortable with each other, but he likes that deep down. He's never been able to get close with anyone like this before."

I let go of Mike and stood next to him with my back against the counter.

"I'm so glad you found him," Mike said, looking me in the eyes. "You two are so perfect for each other. He's done a lot for you, but you've changed his world. You two are the happiest people I know."

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Lance, I've known you less than a year," he said, returning to the salad. "But the Lance now compared to the Lance in college ... you glow, dude. Your life is joy. Please allow yourself to be happy. Trent and I are very happy for you."

I put my hand on his cheek to turn it toward me, and we gave each other a peck on the lips.

"That's sweet to hear from the perfect couple."

"Ha. We're not perfect. But ... I have to admit, like you, I'm amazingly happy. Trent has made my world come alive. For months I just knew he was eventually going to get tired of this `old guy.' Throw in his dad and him just coming out ... it's kind of a miracle we made it through. When I was with Ethan, we didn't remotely think about marriage. By Thanksgiving, I knew Trent was the one I wanted to spend my entire life with."

"Aw."

"I'm so lucky he walked into my class that day. It was the right person at the right time."

"Fate."

"We were both in a place to be open to the idea. Had I been seeing someone or if Ethan and I had just broken up ..."

"Then Trent and I would be getting married," I joked. We both laughed.

"Possibly."

"You really are lucky, Mike. Trent's a wonderful man."

"He is."

The guys opened the back door and came in for dinner. Mike asked if I would light a candle to place on the table. Jakob checked on the fireplace.

We sat down and Mike brought the dishes to the table. I could tell by the way he was walking something hurt a little. Everyone started with salad. Dinner was a skillet dish with diced potatoes, onions, peppers, chicken and sausage. The last thing to bring over was some cornbread fresh from the oven.

"It looks great, hon'," Trent told him.

Trent was right. The meal carried a sense of solitude, of being on our own. If it had just been Jakob and me, this setting could have been romantic. But with all four of us, it was a perfect way to celebrate friends. It was like a miniaturized version of Trent's Friendsgiving. This place was lovely. I can see why Trent and Mike wanted to come back. I wished our AA group could be here. Just briefly. Overall, I liked the hairy, masculine testosterone of my company. I wished Tyler could have somehow been here.

We put dishes away and cleaned everything up. Better now than everything at the last minute tomorrow. It would be sad to leave, but we had a lot of unpacking to do. Through all this wonderfulness of the lake house, I momentarily forgot ... Jakob was moving in!! Like a sudden rush of adrenaline, my heart was blanketed in a flash of warmth.

Jakob added more firewood and stoked the flames in the fireplace. I sat on the couch and asked him to lay his head on my lap. I pulled his T-shirt up a little so that my hand could feel his chest as his head gently rested on my crotch.

I wanted to ask Trent about how he felt about his father, but I didn't want to ruin the mood. I would save that until later in the week. Jakob started up conversation about what Mike and Trent would like their wedding to look like. They admitted they hadn't thought that far, but Trent was kind of hoping for an outdoor wedding.

Mike got up and said he wanted to wish his parents Happy New Year and stepped out back to make a call. Trent simply texted. I went to the bedroom to give Dad a quick call.

"Happy New Year, Dad!"

"And to you, son. Are you enjoying this outing with friends? It sounded fun when you described it at Christmas."

"It's awesome. You know all these guys ... Mike, Trent, Jakob. The lake house is lovely. I've taken a few pictures. I'll text them. Hey! Mike and Trent got engaged!"

"Well, good for them. Give them my congratulations. So. Do you have any New Year's resolutions?"

"I hadn't really thought about it." I paused. "With Jakob moving in, I just want to be the perfect partner. That's all the matters."

"You make it easy for me to be proud, son."

"Dad, I wrecked my car drunk last year. You had to help me get a new one. I'm not a model son."

"You've already paid back a lot of that. Doesn't Jakob moving in save you a little?"

"I suppose. True. I should have everything paid back to you by spring."

"See. You're very responsible. And a great man."

"Whatever. Love you, Dad. Give my love to Mom."

After I hung up, I realized I had come to appreciate how it felt when Dad called me a man. Mom is always happy when her "boys" are home. After years of being introduced as "our sons" or "our boys," it never dawned on me that when parents called you a man, it would mean something. Hopefully I'd matured into one. Then I remembered walking out this morning with my dick swinging in front of me for everyone to see. Yeah, I have a long way to go. I texted Dad pictures of the lake house.

The sun was almost down. We sat on the back porch watching it slip beyond the horizon. I asked if it was too soon for hot chocolate. They all wanted it later.

As we sat, Jakob was very quiet. He eventually admitted he was going to call his mother. He went inside.

"He's never done that before," I noted. "It's always his sister. I think things will be different for him this year. We didn't mention he was moving in at Christmas. Something tells me he is telling her right now."

"You two are good together," Trent said. "I'm glad it worked out with Evan for Jakob to move in."

"Evan's a champ," I said.

The sun was gone completely. Twilight had the sky a slight blue-violet.

"Hey, before it is dark and since Jakob isn't here, show me how you did it in the rocking chair," I mentioned.

Trent laughed.

"Are you telling about our love life again?" Mike chuckled.

The two of them carefully demonstrated how they positioned themselves in the chair.

"Oh my gosh. That's so hot. I'm getting hard just picturing you two naked that way."

They returned to their seats.

"So ... Jakob and sex ... what's up?" Mike calmly asked.

"It's all good. He and I are awesome. But I try to remember that in the abusive world he was in, sex was not romantic or tender or loving. It was just the physical act. The three of us here just talk about it so casually, but there have to be some emotional scars for him. But trust me, we have great sex. He was afraid at first that he would not be able to satisfy what I need. He thought his past would hold him back, or worse, associate it with drinking. But once he opened up, it's awesome. He sees a new side to it."

"He's in love," said Trent. "That makes all the difference. Think about the three of us back in February. In that shower, I was just coming out, you were questioning, and Mike was trying to bounce back from a breakup. It was physical for us that evening, but that was what we needed at that point. Look at us now. Love has made it so much better."

"If it weren't for Jakob, would you really have fucked me tonight?"

Trent didn't look comfortable. I got the impression he didn't want to talk about that scenario.

"I'd want some ground rules for it to work," said Trent. "Plus, Mike was consenting and approving of it. I would never do anything otherwise. I don't know; I might have gone along with it. However, I find it kind of risky."

Jakob came out. "Well, I talked to my whole family."

"Even your dad?" I asked.

"Yeah. Mom handed him the phone, so he kind of had to."

We all laughed.

"Did you tell her you had moved in with me?"

"I did. Not Dad, but I did her before she handed the phone. Then I gave a call to Teresa and Keaton. They wish you all a Happy New Year."

"Nice," Trent said.

Jakob went back inside and returned 30 seconds later with two blankets. Each couple got underneath one.

"How sweet," Mike said. "Thank you." He pulled Jakob down to kiss him on the cheek. Jakob blushed.

We sat in the dark, huddled under the blankets talking about anything and everything. Childhood hobbies, family trips, aunts and uncles, foods we hated ... it didn't matter. The four of us loved being together. One of my cruel demons stabbed me with the doubts that I didn't deserve this. I wasn't supposed to be this happy. I felt Jakob's leg next to mine. He brought me back. I moved my hand to his crotch to gently rest it there. I felt his hand shift. I figured he was going to move mine away, but instead he rested it on top of mine. He didn't get hard. I did. I loved him. WE deserved to be happy.

It was completely dark outside. I enjoyed seeing a few lights around the lake reflect on the surface of the water. It was still without even a hint of a breeze. The lake was a mirror. For a moment, we didn't say anything. It was so quiet. We just looked.

Eventually the chill dug deep, and we went inside. Mike lit candles again, and Jakob stoked the fireplace one last time. We all changed into our PJs for the night.

"These were such a great gift for us. Thank you again, guys," I said.

Nothing of interest was on television, so we turned it off. Christmas music was out too. I went to the kitchen to make us hot chocolate again.

I returned with a tray of mugs minutes later. Trent was laying on top of Mike and they were kissing in the candlelight.

"Hot chocolate, gentlemen."

They sat up and reached for a mug. I could see bulges from both of them in their pajamas. Jakob had been watching. He had a bulge too. I handed him a mug. As I sat down next to him, I let my fingers slip inside to grope his stiff cock. We positioned ourselves to where he had one foot on the floor and one foot on the loveseat; I moved in between and leaned back into his chest. I could feel his hard-on pressing into me. I was an inch or two taller than Jakob, but I loved having his body above mine. Mike and Trent had the whole couch but sat the same as us. Mike kissed Trent on the back of the neck between sips of cocoa. His free hand moved up under his T-shirt. The dimly lit room had a mood of arousal.

No one spoke. We listened to the crackle of the fire.

"That sound will always remind me of this weekend," I said.

"It has been wonderful," Jakob added.

Mike and Trent hummed in agreement. Mike let his hand slip into Trent's pajamas. If the room became too sexually charged, I would worry that Jakob would not be comfortable. I liked looking at them. I remembered that silly night at Jason's house last spring. It was crazy hot being watched by Mike and Trent, but that didn't feel anything like this. The living room was on fire with our love ... and rising lust. But what about Jakob? Was he getting freaked out? Seconds later, I felt fingers move under the waistband of my pajamas. Jakob's free hand had wrapped its fingers around my dick. My hard dick.

All was good.

I took a sip of cocoa. Jakob put his mug down. He kissed my neck. A lot. My dick got harder. A lot. His hand on my erection started stroking it. I lifted my ass and used my free hand to pull my pajamas down a foot. My cock was out in the open. He continued to stroke my cock. A lot. Not fast, just slow and steady.

I wasn't sure how loud I should get. I remained quiet with all four of us in the living room. Mike looked over to see Jakob pulling my stiff organ. He pulled his shirt off. As he did so, Trent shifted his weight. He noticed us too. Mike returned his hand to Trent's crotch, groping his penis through his pajamas from the outside. Trent got bold and pulled off both his T-shirt and his pajamas. He lay naked between Mike's legs. It thrilled me to see Trent naked again, but I was worried that Jakob would think that was too far.

"You want to be naked, don't you?" Jakob whispered in my ear.

I turned around and kissed him. "Are you okay with this?" I softly asked.

"So far."

I took my pajamas off and knelt before Jakob, kissing him deeply. As we kissed, I heard Trent gently moan, indicating that Mike had begun stroking him again. I groped at Jakob's crotch. His dick was trying to burst through the cotton.

"Is it our turn, Jakob?" Mike asked.

"Yeah," my lover softly offered.

Trent turned his body to pull the PJs off Mike. They were both nude. Jakob stood and pulled his off. It was the first time any of them had seen my partner stripped naked. He seemed fine. When he sat back down, I leaned over his crotch and took his cock in my mouth. He moaned feeling his flesh enveloped by my warmth.

Mike and Trent were in a tight embrace. Jakob watched them grinding their hips together, their cocks rubbing. They began moaning in their kisses.

As I serviced Jakob's genitals, he ran his fingers through my hair. I let one of my hands tug on his chest hair.

Trent moved down to take Mike's dick in his mouth. Mike moaned, "Yeah, babe. Ohhhh, yeah."

I slurped on Jakob's delightful hard-on. "Ohhh, angel. That feels good," he said.

The oral service continued on both pieces of furniture. The fire began to lose some of its height. The dimmer light made the ambience even more suitable for passion.

Jakob began getting louder. He started calling me by name in his groaning. Then he forcefully pulled my shoulders from his waist.

"Not yet," he gasped. "I was too close."

"No?"

"Let's make a night of it," he whispered to me.

I could hear Mike writhing. Trent's blowjob was working its magic. "Ohhh, babe. I'm close."

Before Trent was able to bring Mike off, Jakob addressed them.

"Wasn't there some deal with Lance this weekend?"

All three of us whirled toward him.

"What are you saying, baby?" I asked.

"I'm saying I can watch."

Trent looked at Mike. Mike looked at Trent.

"Is everyone okay with us doing this?" Mike asked. "It's not good to go any further if we aren't all fine with ... the four of us interacting."

After a moment, we all nodded in the soft light.

"I have lube in the bedroom," Trent said.

Trent came back with a towel and the bottle.

"We cannot get anything on this furniture," he said.

"We stood in the shower way back when," I said. "What do you think?"

"The fireplace," Mike suggested. Talk about hot, that redefined it.

Jakob and Mike sat on the furniture while Trent squirted lube on his fingers. He let them probe up inside my hole as I placed my hands on the mantle. It had been so long since Trent had touched me like this. If the fire wasn't making the front side of me warm, Trent's hands on my body in flames. I looked at Jakob while Trent prepared me. He nodded and smiled.

"Ohhh, buddy. Yeah."

I listened to the sounds of slickness as he applied more lube to his cock. He wipes his hands on my ass, which made me gasp. Gently, he entered me. Trent was bigger than Jakob. It felt different now. I grimaced for a moment. It didn't feel good. I took a deep breath. With a big exhale I relaxed. It took a moment, but it felt better.

"You okay, buddy?" he asked me.

"Yeah, Trent. You can fuck me. Go slow at first. Ohhhh. Yeah. Fuck me, buddy."

Trent began thrusting his hips. He held mine for balance. We moaned as his cock slid in and out of my insides. I wrestled with a cyclone of thoughts. Trent was fucking me again! Jakob was watching. Mike and Jakob jerked their own cocks as they watched. My eyes met Jakob's. He was smiling, so I knew he was okay. It was a different view of me he hadn't seen. I suddenly felt like a show. The front of my body began to perspire as heat from the remaining embers warmed my torso. My sweaty cock bobbed and swung. I looked down. A trickle of sweat dripped down the length of my cock and then sizzled as it dripped close to the flames. The bricks were hot. I moved our bodies back a foot.

After a few minutes, Trent and I were loud. Jakob got up and looked me in the eyes. He pulled me from the fireplace. He kissed me as I was being fucked. We kissed for a minute. His hand roamed over my chest to feel my body's heat and sweat. Trent kept groaning as he pounded my ass. It was imperceptible, but I whispered, "I love you." I figured there was no way he heard that. "Me too," was whispered in our mashed kiss.

Jakob went to sit next to Mike. He reached over and moved Mike's hand off his dick. Mike complied and soon they both began jerking the other's flesh. I gave them a huge grin. I wasn't jealous for a second. Seeing them feel each other aroused me even more. My cock became fully hard again and bounced as I was being shoved in my rear.

"You know that thing is just begging for our attention," Mike said to Jakob.

The two of them moved down to the floor, one on each side of me. I suddenly felt both sets of lips on each side of my cock. They licked and slurped all eight-plus inches of my manhood. It felt good. I could feel it straining to reach nine.

"Oh, guys. That's amazing. My cock feels so good when both of you do that."

Their tongues were all over the place. My balls were being licked. My head was being sucked. My shaft was being lubricated with their saliva. I could watch it all from above. It was so hot. They momentarily stopped when they reached the end of my cock and began kissing each other. Again, I wasn't jealous. It drove my lust further. In fact, it was getting me close.

"Lance, I'm almost there. I'm about to come inside you," Trent said.

"Stop!" I demanded.

Everyone jumped.

"Not yet, guys. I want to go longer."

"How about the bed?" Trent suggested. We all looked that direction and quickly moved toward the bedroom.

Mike carried in one candle. As we entered, Trent ripped the covers off.

"We can do sheets tomorrow, but we can't get anything on the blankets."

I came in with the lube and towel. I stretched out on the bed and reached out for Jakob to lay on top of me. Mike reclined his body near mine, but suddenly called out "ow!"

We looked at him with concern.

"I'm fine. I just twisted wrong. I'm okay."

Trent's body moved on top of him. We were a couple of feet apart. The four of us kissed like mad. Our breathing became heavy, turning into groaning. We were all hard again. Trent and Jakob momentarily looked at each other. They leaned over to kiss. God that was hot. The two men I've been in love with sucking face — it was a total turn on. Then Trent leaned down to kiss me. A deep kiss. I remembered the night we made love in college.

"Fuck me some more," I told him.

Trent and I got up.

"Jakob? Can I pleasure you in some way?" Mike offered.

"I don't know how I feel about that. Lance is the only person I will let fuck me. It's too personal for me. Only the man I love can be inside me."

"That's sweet," Mike said.

"But I have an idea," said Jakob.

He pulled me further down the bed and let my legs hang off. We slipped the towel under my ass. Jakob reached for the lube. He slicked up my hole again and then coated Trent's hard cock. I loved watching Jakob's hands slide around Trent's dick. The two of them kissed. My heart was pounding from the visual stimulation.

"Fuck your brains out guys," Jakob cheered.

I spread my legs and held them up. Trent's engorged organ found the entrance into my inner warmth again and thrust inside. We both groaned. He reached down to hold my legs as his cock sawed into my interior.

Then I was surprised. Jakob coated my cock with lube. I saw him slick his own hole. Carefully he straddled me and inched back until he was right above my cock and just inches in front of Trent. He held my cock straight up and lowered onto it. I gently entered him. Shortly my entire length had moved up into Jakob's ass. I was totally inside him. I groaned loudly. The stimulation was everywhere. My eyes closed and my face twisted in all sorts of sexual ecstasy.

Trent maneuvered my legs to his shoulders. He then grabbed Jakob from behind and felt his chest as he was riding my cock. The three of us were connected, moving and gyrating together. I was sweating again, even without the fireplace. I could see Trent's fingers grip Jakob's chest and tease his hair.

"This. Is. Hot." Mike said.

"Mike, you are left out," I said.

"Oh, I'm enjoying this."

"Mike, give me your cock. Let me suck you," I requested.

Mike moved slowly. He moved his knees next to my shoulders. He lowered his dick down to my mouth. Looking directly at my partner, Mike began kissing Jakob again. My lust was going berserk. Electricity was running through my body. I knew Mike's dick was not in a comfortable position. I gently stroked the base as he bent it to my mouth. We both maneuvered a couple inches to make it easier to slide into my mouth. I sucked as efficiently as I could. These men above me continued to kiss and make love all around me.

Trent was groaning loudly. His rhythm was steady, but my legs were getting a bit tired. He still maintained keeping his dick deep in me.

"Fuck me, buddy. You feel good inside me," I said, momentarily taking Mike's dick from my mouth.

"Oh, yeah, buddy," he returned. "My cock is throbbing." He gripped Jakob's nipples tight.

Mike pulled his cock from my face and slowly turned around 180 degrees. He winced and said "ow" again from his accident. He now straddled me in a more comfortable direction for sucking. He plunged his hairy dick back into my waiting mouth. Jakob could now wrap his arms around Mike and the two pressed their bodies together as Jakob continued to slide up and down my granite tower.

It was too much. These three men had my hormones in overdrive. Mike's cock took the brunt of my screams. I erupted. My cock shot cum up into Jakob's passage. He knew I was coming.

"That's it angel. Come for me. Come for us. Fill me with your love."

I continued to wail in my orgasm. Jakob groaned and held Mike tight. My orgasm was glorious. I had to have pumped a two-liter bottle of cum into my partner. I wanted to come forever.

"I'm almost there," Trent yelled. He pounded my hole.

Jakob moved faster on my pole, working the stimulation while I was still fully hard. He rode me and the stimulation on my flesh still felt great. My cock attempted to ejaculate more, but nothing was available.

"Lance! Jakob! Mike!" my best friend screamed. "Ohhh, yeah!"

He thrust his cock into me deep, pushing my body as spurt after spurt of cum shot from his cock deep within me.

"Oh, Lance! I'm coming inside you, buddy."

He pushed and pushed until his cock fully unloaded.

"Mike, face me," Jakob requested.

Mike maneuvered back around. Both he and Jakob jerked their stiff erections as they faced each other. Mike's ass was positioned in front of me. It still smelled of body wash from his afternoon shower, now mixed with his masculine sweat. I let my tongue travel up the cleft of his buns. Then I pushed it as far as I could in his hole. I spread his cheeks and probed deeper. He moaned at the sensation.

Trent let his meat slip from my ass. He slowly withdrew it. I felt empty. He crawled next to me on the bed. His face was next to mine.

"Lick it, buddy," he whispered. God, I wanted to kiss him, but with him cheering me on, I drilled my tongue further into Mike.

Our lovers above me worked their arms fiercely. Mike could see Jakob's expression. It was the look of someone about to come. I knew it well. He grabbed the back of Jakob's head and pulled him forward. They kissed. I pushed my dick up into my partner's ass even though it wasn't fully hard. Jakob's cum splattered on my chest. I felt the splash of his fiery lava. Mike reached down for some and slid it all around his shaft.

"Oh yeah. Oh yeah!" Mike called.

I felt his cum land on me next. Trent lifted up to see his fiancée's cock explode on me. Mike was screaming as each wave shot from him.

For a moment, all of us were panting, either sitting or lying on the bed. We could hear each other's breathing. It was a communion of four lustful males regaining their strength.

The three of them surrounded me; all of us laid our nude bodies on the bed, overwhelming the physical space of the mattress. One at a time, we tangled our legs together. We pressed together even tighter. We all but stuck together. My chest was glistening in the candlelight from two men's cum. Trent sat up and stuck his tongue in it and kissed us all one by one, then handed me the towel. It seemed surreal. Surely this incredible rage of passion couldn't have happened. Jakob interlocked his fingers with mine. It was real.

The room seemed calm. We were silent a minute.

After the surge of our lust had all subsided, we all took in what had just happened. "Is everyone okay?" Mike asked. "Jakey bear? Are you good?"

"Okay! Sorry, I'm putting my foot down," I said. "I'm vetoing Jakey."

Everyone laughed.

"I'm okay. That was incredible," Jakob said. "But ... this is just tonight, right?"

"Exactly," said Trent. "I'm in love with Mike. This was great fun, but ... it was a special moment. Like a once-a-year thing. I can't let this be a regular thing."

"I think everyone feels that way," Mike said. "I'm up for a New Year's tradition of sexual Twister every year."

We laughed. All of us thought the night had been lovingly meaningful, so we agreed.

We moved back out to the living room. It was 10. Too early for bed. None of us put clothes on. We had dried with towels, so we weren't too worried to be naked on the furniture. Jakob curled up on a blanket in front of me. I rolled to look down on the man I loved. Then I stared at my friends.

"I love you gentlemen," I said.

"We love you too," said Mike.

A wave of not feeling worthy of these emotions overtook me again. I was so incredibly happy. And I felt I didn't deserve it. A tear ran down my cheek. I reached down to find Jakob's hand. He held it. He was my rock. No matter what I was feeling, I did feel like the two of us belonged. I did deserve that. I would never again question whether I deserved him. He was moving in tomorrow and we would start our life together.

The fire had little crackle left. We listened to its last steaming moments.

—

I woke up at 2:30. I nudged Jakob to awaken him. Mike and Trent heard us rustling about. We all moved from the living room and went to sleep in beds.

—

I kissed Jakob on the neck. It was a wet, long, sloppy kiss. He giggled as he was being awakened.

"What time is it?" he mumbled, the words barely recognizable.

"A little after 8."

He rolled over and held me. He had morning wood. It was pressed into my leg.

"I like this, baby, but we have to do the sheets and towels before going, so we can't lie here too long."

"Define too long," Jakob said with his eyes closed.

"Okay. Ten more minutes."

I played with his dick a moment and then wrapped my arm around him. We were in a snug embrace. He rolled in my arms so that his back was to my chest. Now it was my penis poking him. My stiff organ ran along his crevice.

I momentarily thought about the hot insanity of last night. The only other time I had done anything with others in the room was back at Jason's house last spring. Good lord. He became my boss. That night was awkward and not necessarily satisfying. Last night had been incredible. It was nothing I ever could have imagined. But I wanted it to be kept special. As deliciously sexy our best friends were, Jakob and I were in a committed relationship; we were moving in together. The ground rules set last night should keep us all on track. For the moment, I knew my purpose on this earth was to make Jakob happy.

I became aware of the warmth shared between our pressed skin.

We fell back asleep. I heard people rustling in the kitchen. I jolted to look at the time.

"Fuck! It's almost 9. We need to get up."

We quickly put a hodge-podge of clothes on. Our pajamas were still piled in the living room.

"Hi. Sorry. I know we have to do the laundry," I said, emerging from the bedroom.

"No worries. We have our sheets and towels going," Trent said. "Our sheets were still slightly damp from all our sweat."

Both of them had their pajamas on but no shirts. Mike appeared to be making pancakes. I walked over to look.

"Sweet," I said. "Smells good."

Mike turned toward me, and I could see a bruise on his side, just above the hip.

"Oh, man. That's no fun. How sore?"

"Meh. Sore, but not horrendous. I'm just careful around it."

Jakob gave him a gentle hug from behind.

"Is Evan home this weekend?" Trent asked.

"Oh yeah. He went home for Christmas, but only a few days. He'll be there when we get home."

"Should we get Robert something for sharing the lake house with us?" Jakob asked.

"Yes. I actually brought a card we can all sign," Trent said. "I thought a bottle of champagne — you know, for the New Year — and maybe a gift card to a restaurant."

"We'll pitch in," I said.

Mike's pancakes were delicious. We thanked him for being the cook. Jakob and I showered quickly so we could throw our load in when their sheets were out of the washer.

Close to noon, the second load was about out of the dryer. Mike and Trent had remade their bedroom and bath. They started loading the cooler with remaining things from the fridge. We helped put dry items in bags but managed to finish the chips. The idea was to go out for lunch on the drive back.

Jakob smoothed one last wrinkle out of the bedspread. It looked proper.

"Think they can tell someone had sex in here?" I asked.

"It looks fine. We'll just let them speculate," he smiled. I kissed him.

Once we had made up the second bedroom, we took one final scan to make sure everything looked clean and in place. The four of us stood at the door and looked at the room. Then we looked at each other. It became a group hug.

"Thank you so much for inviting us," Jakob said. "I loved everything about the weekend."

"Me too," I said.

"It wouldn't have been nearly as fun with anyone else," Mike said.

"And he's not talking about the sex," Trent added. "Although that fits too."

—

Back at the apartment, Jakob and I worked at getting his things into place. I shared my closet with him. He didn't have a lot, which was good, because there wasn't an abundance of room. We managed to get everything to fit. He had acquired a few kitchen items. Those were easy. By 9 o'clock everything was put away and we had broken down the cardboard boxes and taken them to the recycling bin.

Lying on the bed, we relaxed a moment. My phone buzzed.

"It's Ophelia," I said. I looked at the message. "Oh man!"

"What is it?" Jakob said.

"She said Tyler's boyfriend came to a meeting tonight!"

* * * *

At the blog, timothylane414stories.blogspot.com, you will find a post: "New Year's Eve." I'd be interested to see your comments there. As always, you can also email me feedback at timothylane414@gmail.com