Hi, I'm Lance Chapter 15
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As mentioned before, the AA meetings will skip from time to time. Meeting 25 is three after the last chapter.
Meeting No. 25 October 7
"Hi, I'm Jakob."
Jakob waited.
"With a K. Hi Jakob."
He smiled at everyone, really enjoying his tagline.
"I'm an alcoholic. In fact, I'm a very thrilled alcoholic. I will be moving out of the shelter tomorrow. I've made so many stupid decisions in my life, but somehow — by a miracle or God's love — I've met the best people in the world. Against advice, I have fallen in love. I have friends that have not only welcomed me into their circle of friends, but some of them have helped me be successful in being on my own."
Trent and Mike were with us tonight. It was an open meeting. Wednesdays aren't always, but since this one was, I wanted them to be here for my Three-Month chip. They had huge smiles directed at Jakob.
"I will never forget these people. They will always be with me because I can never forget what they helped me recover from. I'm feeling blessed.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, I'm Ophelia. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Ophelia," the group replied.
"I have a job interview Monday. Thanks to Lance, I might have a new job. I don't have it yet. But, if it works out, I think I might like it a lot. We'll see. If not, I'm still doing okay.
"I can agree with Jakob. People here have big hearts. I am appreciative of all of you. God bless you.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, I'm Lance, and I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Lance," the group replied.
"Although it was officially a few days ago, I'm now three months sober. I wanted to receive my Three-Month chip when O was here. She was the first person to speak to me at my first meeting. I'm so grateful for her and her friendship."
Ophelia gave me a wink and a simple smile. It was our new signal noting our special night together.
"I stare at friends here who are so important to me, who have helped me so much. The man I love — and I love being able to say I love him — makes me enormously happy. I picture myself three months ago and think how low I had sunk. I was so ... checked out. I didn't care about anything. Drinking. I wasn't worth a damn ... to anyone. I was wasting my life ... lying to myself, being a poor friend ... a worthless son ..."
I saw Tyler in the audience. He didn't seem to be sharing tonight.
"If the shares are about feelings of gratitude tonight, count me in. If you are new to AA, please stick with it. It changed me for the better. There is hope here. I didn't like myself much then, but now ... I'm okay with who I am. I know I'm better.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, I'm Cooper. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Cooper," the group replied.
"I've become aware that October 11 is Coming Out Day. While most of my family knows — it kind of flared up in the divorce — I'm introducing Mitch to them this weekend. I'm making sure every relative knows, every old friend knows ... I'm just not hiding it. I'm scared as all get out. But I think worrying what they might think is much worse than them actually knowing. I guess I'll find out. I just want all this off my chest. My family can be a hard sell, but ... I'm enjoying being honest.
"My ex-wife seems better. She isn't warm and fuzzy be any means, but when she looks at me now, it kind of reminds me of how she used to. I'm no longer ..." Cooper paused. "I'm no longer `the imposter' or the `person who suddenly changed.'" He said using air quotes. "I don't think she thinks I'm mean. I feel like she knows the past months — years — have been hard for me, too. She's quite religious. We both were. As much as the gay thing has thrown her, I think maybe her focusing on patience and understanding and forgiveness — those Christian traits have helped."
Cooper went blank for a moment. He stood silent. I was momentarily concerned.
"She's a good person," he said, more to himself than to the group.
"I'm also having Mitch stay over while I have my son this weekend. It will be my chance to introduce the two of them to each other. So ...
"Did I mention I was scared? Wish me luck.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
Several people helped put away chairs and the coffee. I was able to get my chip while that was being done. I walked up to my friends proudly showing it off. They beamed with smiles.
"Coffee or ice cream?" Ophelia asked.
Tyler walked up. "May I join?"
"Sure! Please," I said.
I introduced him to Mike and Trent.
Several of us went together: Cooper, the boys, O, Jakob, Tyler and a newcomer named Sandy.
We laughed a lot over silly things. Conversation was pretty light-hearted. Sandy was quiet but made an occasional comment. Tyler hardly said anything. I needed to talk to him privately to make sure he was okay.
Mike was sitting across from Jakob. "I'm very excited for you Jakob. I'm sure everything just seemed to happen in a whirlwind in the last couple days."
"Totally. Lance got this idea in his head. He talked to Gerard today. You guys are helping make it work. It's all so amazing."
We explained to the others that Jakob was moving into Trent's apartment until his lease ran out. Trent was moving in with Mike. With all our help, Jakob was moving out of the shelter. We explained the special arrangements the shelter was willing to accept for Jakob to be on his own. We all knew it was short-term.
"Gerard pulled a few strings, I think. They receive a certain amount of funding to go toward public housing, but because we only needed a reduced amount, he was able to get it," I said.
"It's only 10 weeks though until my lease is up. Then what?" Trent asked.
"We can decide then. We're taking this for what it is right now. We'll know better then," I said.
"I wish I had brought the key," Mike said. "I have Trent's spare."
"I'll drop it off tomorrow," Trent said. "The place is yours tomorrow night."
Tyler said nothing, but at least formed a smile hearing the cheerful news.
"Jakob, Trent's apartment is several miles from your work. How will you get there?" Mike asked.
"I have a car. I hardly drive it. If it broke down, I wouldn't be able to fix it. Or I used to think that. But now ..."
"I've taken it in to the auto shop. Unless it's crazy expensive, we're just going to give it a good tune-up and an inspection to see what it really needs," I said.
"Lance is taking care of that, for now, but only because I insisted that I pay him back some of it each month until its paid off."
"Jakob can be a stickler about not accepting charity."
"That was my old life. I want to be strong. I need to be able to take care of myself," Jakob firmly said, trying to sound like someone with authority.
"Sometimes taking care of yourself means letting friends help," Mike said. "It takes a strong person to be able to say, `I need help.' We're here to make sure you feel strong."
"Thank you," Jakob said, smiling. He looked at his strawberry smoothie suddenly feeling just a bit too much the center of attention. He poked his spoon into a mound of whipped cream and allowed it to be consumed by his silent smile.
I thought on Mike's words. What a great way to put it. Mike's incredible. It's no wonder Trent fell for him. He's so much more than I am. Certainly more than what I used to be.
Ophelia made sure we included Sandy in some conversation. She said something about a musical group that I didn't know a thing about, but Tyler lit up when she mentioned it. That was good.
Tonight's visit at the coffee shop was long, but we eventually wound it down.
"It was nice seeing you again, Trent. And nice meeting you, Mike," Ophelia said.
Everyone wished O good luck on her interview.
—
Jakob's car needed more than I was hoping, but it wasn't outrageous. Just a lot of maintenance: fluids, belts, oil change, some simple parts. All in all, it was a little over $700, but I took care of it. He was now mobile. He insisted paying me $75 a month until it was paid off. I knew that was a bite into his earnings, but we'd make it work.
I had come with extra sheets in case Trent had taken his. The apartment was certainly livable. Trent hadn't taken a whole lot to Mike's, but the four of us planned for a whole day together on Saturday to tie up loose odds and ends. Gerard would be stopping by with a check, assuming the approval went through.
We carried the few items Jakob had into the apartment. Two boxes of mostly simple clothes. We hung them in the closet. It looked meager. With all his belongs hung inside, the closet still looked cavernous. On the far side were a few shirts, a sweatshirt and another jacket. Taped to them was a note.
"Jakob,
Now that you have room for more, I'd like to help you out with a few things I will not be wearing anymore. It's not much, but please consider these items yours. I wish we were the same size for jeans and such, but I can't offer you anything in that regard. Welcome to your new place.
Good luck,
Trent"
We went out to celebrate. Jakob allowed me to treat him to dinner. He had never been to Señor Miguel's, so we pigged out. We both promised to be better starting tomorrow, but the occasion justified the calories.
On the way back, we stopped at a grocery store. Jakob could pay for some food items. We didn't splurge to fill an entire pantry, but we made sure there was enough food and the basic staples for him to get through the next few days. Trent had left behind a few canned goods and a couple boxes of cereal. Jakob said he wouldn't touch them in case he wanted to take them on Saturday. I doubted he wanted them, but that was considerate of Jakob to think that way. Once he had the last item put in the cabinet, he was lost in thought. I had no idea what he was thinking. I imagined it was finally having a place to put things he bought. Who could imagine that canned food items could be so impactful. He took a finger and wiped his eye before he turned back around.
It was our first night in his place. We'd only slept in my bedroom before. Now it was Jakob's turn to share his bed.
We stripped naked before getting ready. We each took a leak, naked. We both ran a brush through our hair, naked. We brushed our teeth side by side, naked.
"I like how your dick swings when you brush your teeth," Jakob said with a smile, wiping his mouth on a towel.
I took his small cock in my hand and pulled him toward the bed. He hit the bathroom lights as he was being drawn captive.
"We should talk first," I said.
Ash was a year younger than me. He was a junior. I had just started my senior year. He was heavily involved in the theater department.
"Is your name Lance?" he said.
I was sitting outside the gym. Practice had finished. To my surprise, Ash sat next to me.
"Uh, yeah. Have we met?"
"No. I'm Ash. It's nice to meet you, Lance."
"What's up?" I said, a bit bewildered.
"We have a common friend. Peyton Marshall."
"Oh yeah, he was my roommate my freshman year."
"Yeah. We are old friends from high school."
"I see," I said, still a touch confused.
"He's told me quite a bit about you," Ash said.
"Like what?"
"Oh, lots of things."
"I don't follow."
Ash looked to make sure no one was within earshot. "He told me one BIG THING about you that I would probably like."
"Oh?"
"Among other things," he said scooting a couple inches closer. "Peyton always seemed to be one of those guys that liked to just have fun, to fool around. He thought you might be in that category."
"Did he?"
"So, are you?" Ash asked.
"You're very forward," I replied.
"Well, my night happens to be free, and I'm not looking for anything more than just some ... guy fun for a night."
"And where might this `fun' happen, Mr. Ash?"
"I happen to know my roommates will be out tonight. One is gone home for the weekend; the other is out on a late-night date hoping to score in her apartment. They let me know that I had the place to myself tonight."
"What did you have in mind?" I continued.
"According to Peyton, you do something that I like."
"Such as."
"You like to be swallowed," he whispered loudly.
"Jesus! Why the hell would he tell anyone that!"
"Oh, Lance. If what I've heard about your cock is true, it's no wonder people want to tell tales."
Ash was apparently persuasive enough because 15 minutes later, we were in his bed. He had an uncut cock. We groped each other's bodies. Ash wasn't so much into kissing me as he was kissing all my body parts. My ears, my neck, my nipples, my armpits, my balls — he kissed everything.
Stroking Ash's erection felt different because of his foreskin. Perhaps it was slightly soft or spongy ... or maybe it was just his dick. It was a different thing for me, so it made me particularly hard. Feeling another guy's cock always did though.
He let me suck it for a few minutes. A drop of liquid oozed on my tongue. I continued to suck. He let me service him a few minutes.
"Oooo, don't make me come yet," he said, lifting me from his dick by my cheek bones.
Ash leaned over and began to go to town on my cock. His hand gripped and pulled my nine inches, but it wasn't long before his mouth took the top half. He slurped it loudly. Remembering I had heard Peyton through the walls my freshman year, I tried to keep my moaning shallow. The apartments were better than the dorms, but still ...
"This is the biggest cock I've ever seen or felt in my life," he said, after taking a breath. "I'm so glad Peyton told me about you."
"Oh, thanks. It's just ... my dick," I said, trying to sound humble.
The double stimulation of his stroking and sucking had the veins in my cock throbbing quickly. It felt like my blood was pulsing under heavy pressure. I hadn't had a blow job in several months. I speculated that my senior year was the time to get as much as I could — men or women. I love how my dick felt during sex. It was better than just jacking off.
I let my fingers filter through Ash's blond hair as his head moved up and down my shaft. It was very soft. He didn't use any styling product. It just felt natural.
I reached for his stiff rod again as he continued to suck me. I was cumbersome in doing so, but I jerked his phallus while he devoured mine.
His tongue started tantalizing my hard-on.
"Fuck yeah," I called out.
He hummed knowing that I liked that stimulation.
After several minutes, I couldn't hold back.
"Ash, I'm about to come," I let him know.
He made no effort to remove his mouth from my cock. I moaned louder than I should have with neighboring apartments, but the build-up to my orgasm was exquisite. My eruption into his throat was volcanic. Thick manly hot lava. Ash swallowed my entire load, almost making a perceptible effort to not let a single drop escape.
"Wow," I said. "Your turn. Want to shoot in my ass?"
"I don't have a condom," he said.
"I don't mind. I'd love to feel you inside me, even after I've already come."
"Oh, darling, we should talk."
"I've been thinking we should discuss this. When I fucked you the other night, it was glorious. It was heaven — well, until I found out Evan was listening."
Jakob chuckled.
"But we didn't use a condom. I've never actually had a test done. Have you?"
"No. Money has been very slim the past few years. With the amount of men I had to go through, I know I should."
I reached for his hand.
"You and I are making this work. Long term. Monogamous, right?"
"Right."
"Well, except you pawn me off on Ophelia."
"It doesn't bother me that you fucked her. It was my suggestion."
"Well, I did wear a condom then. Jakob, I'd like us to be tested together. You and me at the same time. Let's find out we're good. Then we can be great."
"Okay."
"Do you have condoms here?"
"I just came from a shelter. Why would I have condoms?!"
"Duh! Well, I bought a strip before heading to O's place, so ... are you okay with that? Or should we do something else."
"I can't think of a better way to christen my new apartment," he said, moving in to kiss me.
I got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I just happened to bring my birthday lube in my bag."
He was laying on his back. I reached down with slick fingers. I lubed his hole well. After fingering Ophelia two weeks ago, I wanted to pleasure him longer with my fingers. Jakob seemed to like it.
After several minutes, he pleaded, "Don't tease me. I need you inside me."
I ripped open the condom wrapper.
"Let me," he said.
While he sheathed my elongated pole, I filled my palm with tropical lubricant. I coated it around my soldier armored for battle.
Jakob pulled his legs back for me. I aligned my lance at his puckered entrance. Our eyes locked. His gentle smile invited me to enter him. Having fingered him for several minutes, his body easily accepted my thick erection. He called out. As my second thrust pushed all of my manhood inside him, I groaned in pleasure too.
I held his shoulders as my movements were steady. My upper weight was contained in my hands, pressing him to the ped. The grinding of my hips matched the grinding of my voice. Jakob moaned in pleasure too. Each thrust caused him to groan deliciously.
He rested his legs on my shoulders. I moved down onto my elbows. I reached over and felt the hair on his chest, holding my frame above him. I balled my hands into fists, pulling his chest hair between my fingers.
"Oh, yeah. Lance, fuck me harder."
My thrusting moved to a higher gear.
"God, I feel so good in you."
Trent's bed had a headboard with poles across the front. Jakob grabbed them and let his body writhe in an exotic dance as I fucked his body. We moaned and squirmed and thrust and screamed and fucked.
"Turn over for me, baby. I want to hold you."
I pulled my cock from his channel, and he rolled in the bed. I moved in from behind and positioned my dick to travel inward inside him again.
"Oh yeah!" we both said with my full thrust.
"I love how your cock fills me, angel," he said lovingly. "You have no idea how this feels."
I placed my body on top of his. My elbows took most of my weight, but my chest was still pressed to his. I rammed him hard from behind. My hands slipped under his arms and our flesh melted together. My thrusting hips were the only things pulled apart between our bodies. My legs tangled with his. My mouth engulfed his ear, his neck, his cheek. He turned his face. We awkwardly kissed as my cock continued to fuck him forcefully. I kept pushing my stiff flesh into his body.
We both moaned as we tirelessly made love. He got really loud as I approached my orgasm. He was screaming, and then I felt the first shot of my cum unleash.
"I'm coming inside you, Jakob. Oh, baby. Oh yeah. Fuck, I'm coming so deep."
I squeezed our bodies tightly as my cock spasmed my cum into his inner depths. My mouth wailed into his neck as my erection went through ultimate pleasure. With one last shove of my crotch, my breathing shuddered. My body shuddered. I slowly exhaled into his neck.
"Your turn," I whispered to him.
"No. I came right before you did."
"Really? Holy fuck."
"It was amazing, Lance. You're amazing."
"Only because of you," I said giving him a big smooch on the cheek.
We rolled over. The sheets were stained with Jakob's cum and splashes of lube in several places.
"Well, I'm glad we brought extra sheets," I said.
"Maybe tomorrow. I want to sleep on the splashes of our love. Any awkward stickiness will only remind me of our true christening of this bed and apartment."
"You're a nut. A messy, sticky, romantic nut," I said. "And I love you so much."
—
We didn't shower together the next morning. I had the earlier shift. I gave Jakob a kiss goodbye and said I'd be back the next morning around 10. The guys planned on the same.
As I got into the car, I glanced at the apartment complex through the windshield. I couldn't believe it was true; we got Jakob out of the shelter. God, I was happy.
Later in the day, I received a text at work.
"Mike and I are wearing our Pride shirts tomorrow. We want you to wear yours. We'll all match. If time allows, maybe we can go into the gayborhood together."
"OK. We'll be nauseously adorable together."
Five minutes later, my phone buzzed again. What did Trent want now?
It was Randall.
Holy shit!
"Sorry I didn't respond a few weeks ago. I wouldn't mind reconnecting. Give me a call if you want."
Wow. We hadn't talked since high school. I had reached out to him in August via text.
"Is tonight okay?'
"Can you call before 7?"
"That'll work."
Wow. What would I say? Would we just catch up? Would we even talk about those sexual experiences on the debate trip?
Instead of cooking, Evan and I decided to pick up from Great Wall. He was meeting Kristy for a movie later and staying at her place. After wrapping up a little bit for leftovers, he headed out.
I picked up my phone to call Randall. It was 6:40. I dialed him, slightly nervous.
"Is this Lance?"
"It sure is!! Hey!! How are you?"
`I'm good, I'm good. And you?"
"Me too. I'm really happy right now. Graduated from W. Travis and started work immediately." I hesitated a moment, and then offered more. "Not to start the conversation on a downer, but I've adopted a lifestyle of complete honesty, so ... I'm in a great place now, but I'm ashamed to say that almost four months ago I had a car wreck because I was driving intoxicated."
"Oh my gosh. I'm glad you are okay."
"It certainly could have been worse."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Lance."
"But! Since then I've been completely sober, I'm excelling at my job, I've fallen in love and lost 20 pounds. Life is wonderful."
"Well, that sounds like a great turnaround. Good for you."
"How about you?"
"I've been married for almost a year. We live in Atlanta now."
"Wow. That's a move."
"Yeah. A good job opportunity. Having gone to Mississippi College, it wasn't that far away."
"So, what do you do?"
Randall hesitated. "I'm a youth minister at a good-sized congregation in one of the city's suburbs."
"Oh, one of my college roommates was studying to be a youth minister."
"W. Travis isn't a Christian university, is it?"
"No, but he still was able to get the degree. I think post-graduation he may be taking online courses for his masters. I guess whatever the university couldn't offer religion-wise, he can get that way. I really didn't inquire that much, I guess."
"So. Fallen in love, huh?"
"Yeah. Head over heels at the moment."
"So ... who's the lucky ... person."
"His name is Jakob."
Randall was quiet. "I see."
"I came out this summer, Randall. I hope that is okay with you."
"Yeah. Sure. Of course. No problem."
"Tell me about your wife," I said.
"She's pretty. I'll text you a picture of us when we get off the phone. We met our junior year. I proposed after being apart in the summer when we came back senior year. We got married the week of Thanksgiving last year."
"Congratulations!"
"Thanks. Yeah," he said unenthusiastically.
"I'll send you a picture of us two as well."
Randall got exceptionally quiet. The silence was awkward.
"How's Atlanta?"
"Lance, why did you reach out to me?"
"Oh, just had some reflections on high school. Hadn't really tried to communicate with anyone, so ... I just took a shot your number might be the same."
"Yeah. Same one. Never changed it."
Silence.
"Lance, do you ever think about the debate trip?"
There it was. I wasn't going to bring it up, but Randall did it anyway. What was the right thing to say here? I felt awkward, particularly to a someone who is now a youth minister.
"On occasion."
"You don't think ... you don't think what we did that weekend ... turned you gay do you?"
"No, Randall. It doesn't work that way. You don't really `turn gay.' You are or you aren't. And I identify with being gay, but I could technically be classified bisexual. Classified. Geez, that sounds so scientific."
"Right." He was silent again. "Lance, I think about you ... I mean us ... I mean that weekend ... a lot."
"Okay."
"Being in bed with you, that night ... it was thrilling. But when your parents send you to a Christian college, I mean ... no sex, no drinking ... all against campus rules."
"Randall, are you okay?"
"I'm not sure, Lance. I mean, I love the kids I work with. I do. I love my work. I love my wife."
"Is there a `but'?" I tried to ask as tenderly as possible.
"I tried to put all my feelings aside, get past them. When I met Sharon, she was nice. She was pretty. I knew that was what I should work toward. A healthy, regular relationship." His voice cracked.
I could tell he was scared. His voice trembled.
"I thought I was doing a pretty good job, you know ... leading a normal life."
"Normal?"
"Well, what my parents feel is normal. It is all going just fine."
"Is it fine for you, Randall?"
"It comes and goes. I think I can make it. Then you texted."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ..."
"No. You didn't do anything wrong. I read your text. I have thought about you every day since. I feel like I'm living two lives, Lance. One of them feels like a lie, even though it should be perfectly happy."
"I – I'm sorry, Randall. If I caused any pain, please forgive me. I don't know what to say. I'm not a counselor, but I think you might ought to talk to one."
"Maybe. I don't know. I keep thinking these feelings will go away. But ... I want to feel the way we did that night. It was the greatest night of my life."
"Oh, wow."
"I mean, you are in a relationship with a man. What does it feel like?"
I wasn't sure how to answer that question. Randall seemed to be in a fragile place. If I had brought it on, I felt bad, but it sounded like things were brewing for a long time.
"I love him. I was in denial all through school. We met three months ago, and we bring out the best in each other. When I admitted I liked men ... that I was gay ... I felt like I could breathe. I now have the capacity to love deeply. And ... the sex is great."
"I just don't ... oh, my wife is pulling in the driveway. I'm sorry to lay this on you, Lance. I'm glad we talked. It was nice to hear your voice. I'm happy for you. Bye."
After he hung up, I was in a trance, almost shock. Wow. I still texted him the photo.
—
Trent and Mike pulled in just as I was getting out my car. I waited for them. All of us were in our Pride shirts which made us smile.
"Is it weird going to your apartment when it is no longer your apartment?" I asked.
"A little. But remember I stayed with you a month, too."
"I know. That seems like years ago. I was in such a crummy place then. I was a different person," I said.
"We love the person you are now," Mike said, kissing me on the cheek.
"Have you ever been dancing with Jakob? We were thinking maybe the four of us should go tonight. However, if the bar atmosphere is not a comfortable place for you two, we can ditch that idea," Trent said.
"We've never been dancing together. We've hardly done anything together. Occasionally a meal out and now fantastic sex. Food and sex. That's it."
"Two of my favorite things," Mike said with a smile.
"Let's ask him," I said walking up to the door.
We knocked. Seconds later, Jakob answered the door in his Pride shirt.
"How did you get one?" I asked.
"Trent gave me one."
"He ... when? What?"
"Oh my gosh!" Trent screamed.
I was startled. I turned toward him.
"Jakob! How did you do this?"
We all looked at the apartment. It looked amazing. Granted, there wasn't enough furniture to make it look full, but it was impressive.
"How is it I took a few things out, and yet it looks like there's a lot more?" Trent asked.
"I drove to a thrift store down the street. I don't have a lot of money, but it's surprising what you can do with discounted things. You pair simple things together and it works," Jakob said.
Jakob had rearranged the entire living room. While one side looked slightly empty, the furniture he rearranged looked great. A simple rug, some cubes and some vases and accessories gave the whole room a new look. A couple of director's chairs gave all of us a space to sit.
"No way!" Trent screamed looking at the bedroom. "Jakob, you have a gift. It looks great."
"Pillows, some reeds, some glass plates. Really, this stuff was pretty cheap. I figured if I was only going to be here for ten weeks, I should do this right away so that I could enjoy it. When I was young, it was weird, but I liked looking at decorating magazines. So for ten weeks, I wanted it to look nice."
Ten weeks. Then what? I hated thinking about it. But he wasn't in the shelter, so that's all that's important. Maybe Evan and I could discuss it. If we are as good as we are right now in ten weeks, I want us to live together. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself.
Gerard stopped by shortly thereafter. He had a supplement check the shelter could offer. It was made out to Jakob, but Gerard was charged with making sure it got paid for the apartment. In this case, it was Trent. Gerard said he had to accompany Jakob to a bank to deposit it, and then physically see him write Trent a check for rent. It seemed so regimented, but the shelter had made special exceptions for this arrangement. The two of them returned within 15 minutes. Jakob then wrote a check for his portion of the rent plus the shelter's supplement. I also had a check for Trent for what I agreed to add.
Gerard was satisfied and said his pleasantries before saying goodbye. He was a friendly man and was so complimentary of what Jakob had accomplished.
While they were gone, I added some things to the apartment. I had pictures of Jakob and me printed and placed in frames. I also created one for a photo of him and his sister. I thought it turned out well. I placed it on a shelf within a dividing wall between the kitchen and living room. I placed one of us next to it. The two of us looked good in that one, nice smiles. Another I printed was the selfie I snapped when we were in bed. That shirtless picture of us was set on the nightstand in the bedroom.
He noticed the ones in the living room when he returned and told me he loved them. He picked up the photo of him and Teresa. I mentioned the other one in the bedroom.
Jakob disappeared into the bedroom. He winked at me when he came back. In his hand was an envelope and he slid the checks inside. I think he had a card inside the envelope. He hadn't told me. When he handed it to Trent, his eyes welled with tears.
"Thank you." A tear went down Jakob's cheek. "You'll never know how much I appreciate you. All of you."
Trent gave him a big hug. They held each other for some time.
—
Following pizza at Parma Sean's that evening, we brought up the idea of going dancing. Jakob looked unsure.
"I haven't been dancing in years. I'm sure I'd look foolish."
"Dance with me. I'll make you look good," I joked. "I thought the same thing when they dragged me onto the dance floor."
—
Trent had not been back to Club Indigo since his incident with Detrell. We opted for Cosmic Thing. We liked the retro vibe of that club.
They had nonalcoholic beer available, but the two of us didn't want to try that. We opted for a cranberry soda and an orange juice. Mike and Trent had one beer and then switched to alternatives later on. Neither of us seemed tempted to drink. I know Mike and Trent were concerned earlier. This could have been an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Once it started getting busier, people eventually made it to the dance floor. Jakob was hesitant but encouraged the rest of us to get out there. Trent and Mike went first to a song Trent loved.
A song came on I liked. I asked Jakob if he would dance with me. He still seemed shy. He encouraged Trent to dance with me instead. We did. As we were on the dance floor, I saw Mike and Jakob carrying on a conversation above the music. All four of us seemed to be having a good time.
As Trent and I headed back to join them, a new song played. Mike's reaction meant it was a favorite of his. He immediately grasped Jakob by the hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. Jakob was helpless to resist. He looked scared out of his mind, but when he saw me resting my chin on my fists, elbows on the table, just watching him, he smiled back and tried to relax. By the end of the song, he was enjoying himself.
The next song was a slow song. From what I know of gay bars, which isn't much, they don't play many slow songs. I could see the two of them out there talking and then Mike put his arms around Jakob. Jakob shot me a look of "I'm sorry" and then put his arms around Mike. The two were adorable. I loved both of them, all of these people. I can't believe how far I had sunk earlier this year. What a 180-degree difference in my outlook on life.
"Did you look in the envelope?" I asked Trent.
"Yes."
"Was something in there?"
"It was a simple card, probably something you'd find at a thrift store."
"Did he write something in it?"
"He did," Trent said. And then remained quiet.
"Are you going to tell me, you asshole?" I smiled.
Trent bumped me in the shoulder and then kissed me on the cheek.
"It was a thank you card. He wrote `Thank you for giving me hope.' That was all."
"I can't thank you enough, Trent."
"I am so unbelievably over the moon for you two, Lance. I'm so, so happy for you. Don't fuck it up, okay?"
"Yes, sir," I said, staring at the man I loved on the dance floor.
* * * *
Background and insight to this chapter can be found at timothylane414stories.blogspot.com
Email: timothylane414@gmail.com